Misery loves company

Chapter 17: Alive with a heartbeat

Hey this chapter is a little on the boring side but it helps explain the next three chapters. The next chapters are cuter and better and a tiny bit sad but it is still good. Thank you so much for all your support and let my know what you think :)

P.S ~This chapter isn't to sensitive :)

I fall in love with you more times in a day than my heart beats~gemma troy
Sheldon's pov :

"My baby is awake. My baby is okay. " My mom said coming in with Missy, Georgie and Leo.

"Yes mom. I am okay. Amy already told you that when you called her. " I said while Amy sat next to me.

"Oh don't you try being funny now. You scared me. Don't do that to your mother ever again. Do you understand me. Honestly you kids want me to have a heart attack. " She said as she hugged me with my free arm.

"I'm sorry mother. I'm okay now. I will try not to do it again. " I said feeling guilty like it was my choice.

"If you do that again I will kill you myself do you understand me ?" She said sternly.

"Okay mom . Im sorry. I love you. " I said trying to calm her down.

She looked at me with her hand on my cheek now and I gave a smile.

"I love you too Shelly. " She said returning the smile.

We saw the door open with Leonard and Penny coming in not believing what they were saying. I knew Amy told them so I didn't understand why they were so surprised to see me.

"Sheldon you are awake. " Penny said stating the obvious.

"Yes I know I am awake. It would be a great tragedy if this was all a dream. " I said with a smile.

"Oh shut up you idiot. You are awake. " She said crying as she ran to me and hugged me tightly. I had to use both my arms to hug her as Amy stood with Leo now.

"I missed you too Penny. " I said trying to be comforting.

"Hello Leonard " I said looking at him with a smile as Penny made her way back to him.

"Hello buddy." He said with a bigger smile.

"Go hug your best friend now or I will hit you into a unconscious state okay. We did not go through all of this for a hello buddy. " Penny said to Leonard.

Leonard rolled his eyes then gave me a half hug and left his hand on my shoulder.

" A hello buddy would have been just fine you know. "I said.

He laughed now," Tell Penny that. "

"No. After I watched what Leonard went through scared of losing you and he just says hello buddy. That is an insult. He needs to show that he cares. " Penny said.

"Aww Leonard. You care for me . " I said with a teasing smile," you love me. It was always about you. You were the one who couldn't leave me alone. " I said laughing.

"Shut up Sheldon or I will regret caring at all. " Leonard said.

"Wow they weren't even both here that long and they both said shut up to him. Why are they his friends again?" Georgie said teasing.

"Shut up. " Penny, Leonard,Amy,Missy and my mom said in unison then started laughing.

"Where's Howard, Bernadette and Rajesh ?" I asked looking for them.

Just as I asked all three of them came in with the same shocked looks on their face.

"I heard someone asked for us." Howard said as his surprise started to fade.

"We are glad you are back Sheldon . " Bernadette said with a small smile as I saw the tears fill in her eyes.

"You scared us there for a minute. " Rajesh said.

"Well I'm back now and I am glad I am because I heard the group was miserable without me. "I said trying to change the feeling of the room. It made me uncomfortable seeing all these people scared to have almost lost me.

"Came back more full of himself. " Howard said rolling his eyes.

"Please you wouldn't want me any other way. " I said laughing.

"That's true. We missed the crazy in our life while you were gone. " Rajesh said.

"Well I don't know what crazy you are talking about. I am not crazy because my mother had me tested and therefore I can't bring crazy ." I said.

"Shelly the more you say I had you tested as a reason for not being crazy the more we know you are crazy. " My mother said.

Amy put Leo on the bed now so he laid in my arms.

"Well I'm glad nothing changed while he was gone. Still teasing each other. " Amy said laughing.

"Excuse me. They are teasing me. It seems to be let's tease Sheldon day Today. " I said.

"Today is my birthday. " Leo then said.

"Yes Leo it is. " I said bringing him closer to me now.

We spent the rest of the time talking the day away catching up on everything while Leo slept in my arms. It got a bit late and as much as I loved everyone I wanted to spend the rest of it with Amy before I let the darkness in tonight because I would be alone.

"We better get home. I will take Leo and Amy can stay with you for a little while longer. " Missy said reading my mind.

Everyone made their way home saying their goodbyes now and it was just my mom,Missy and Georgie with Leo and Amy.

"Leo my boy. It's time to go home. " I said softly.

He woke up slowly now aware of his surroundings.

"Come on sweetie. Meemaw is going to take you home with Aunty Missy and Uncle Georgie so you can sleep. " Amy said patiently.

He then shook his head hugging me tighter," I'm not leaving daddy. " .

"Leo. Why don't you go home and go to sleep early then when you wake up you will see me again. I will be right here when you come back. I am not going anywhere. Go get some rest. " I said.

"I'm scared daddy. "

"What are you scared of my boy ? "

"Im scared when I come back you will be gone. "

I looked at everyone in the room as they looked at the ground refusing to look at me. They understood his fear. I hated that this was something they had to be scared about. Amy looked at Leo as I could see her trying to fight the tears. I looked at my now 5 year old son wanting to cry myself because he did almost lose me .

"I know it is scary but I swear I don't plan on going anywhere. If I do then I will ask the flash to run really fast to go back in time so I am still here okay ? " I said with a smile.

"Okay daddy. I will see you tomorrow then . " He said looking at me waiting for me to give him my word on it.

"You will see me tomorrow. " I said as a promise.

Once I convinced him I said goodbye to Missy, Georgie and my mom and watched them leave. Amy sat on the empty space of the bed still remaining a distance away from me. She was scared still. I could see it in her eyes. I wish I could take it away for her. I wish it didn't have to be like this. I wish we were okay but we were far from it. It wasn't me or her though it was the fear of losing each other. I took her hand and placed it on my chest again so she can remember that my heart was beating.

I saw her smile come back once she felt it. I missed it. I missed her. I missed us.

"I missed you Sheldon. " She said lying in my arms again playing with my fingers.

"I missed you to more than you know. " I said.

"I have to go soon. You know that right ?" She said.

"Shh let's not worry about that now. All that matters is that you are with me now and that is all I care about it. "

"I wish you could come home tonight. "

"I am home Amy. "

"I meant our home. The physical one that we live at. "

"Well I want to be anywhere Leo and you are. "

Amy looked at her watch and I knew she had to go. We both felt this sense of dread.

"I have to go but I don't want to go. I can't go. "

" Go and get some sleep Amy. You need some rest for all three of you. I will be here tomorrow morning. I have my phone if I need to call you. "I said even though I wanted to keep her here to stay.

"Sheldon can't I stay here with you. " She asked.

"I would love that more than you know but if you stay here then Leo is going to get upset he couldn't do the same. Leo needs you to come home. He needs one of us to go home. He needs to see that one of us is okay. You can read to him and whenever I get out of here he will have both us okay ?. "

"Okay. " She said but a frown appeared on her face.

I knew she was scared to leave me for the exact reason Leo was afraid and I knew if she woke up in the early morning scared I wasn't okay she wouldn't be able to hear my beating heart to soothe her. If she left I couldn't help calm the fears. I hated that I had to watch her leave.

I kissed her again reminding her I was okay. Reminding her I was breathing. She seemed more prepared to leave and slowly made her way to the door.I had her hand in mine until it slowly faded away as I watched her leave like the time she left back into the real world.

I knew even though I was back there was still alot of cracks we needed to fill. Everything everyone went through. Everything I went through. I knew this wasn't over. I knew I was physically back but it didn't fix all the hurt. All the pain. I hated that this was because of me. I hated that I was the reason for this. I hated watching Amy completely terrified to touch me like it would make me vanish. I hated that Leo had to be scared that there was a possibility I wouldn't come home. I hated all of this.

The doctor came to check up on me again for the night to make sure I was really fine. He was even scared I was going to die at any second and I hardly knew him.

"Thank you doctor for bringing me back to them. " I said trying to show him I was here to stay. I wasn't going anywhere.I tried to convince someone ,anyone that I was back. I was staying.

"You should be thanking yourself. You came back. I only tried to help as much as I could physically. "

"I know but I know how hard you worked to try and save me. I am so grateful for that even when you don't really know me. "

"Well it is kind of my job but I am so glad you are back and didn't leave. This family would have been a wreck without you. They were a wreck without you. Seeing how important you were to them was one of the reasons I refused to give up on you even though you gave up on yourself. You did good though. You came back and you have no idea how much that means to them and me because I couldn't have delivered more bad news to them. "

"Yeah I am back but I am not back. " I muttered to myself.

"What do you mean ? You not planning on giving out again are you ? I don't think I could handle that. "

"No I am fine. I am back. It's just it's not back to normal. It's different. "I said confiding to the doctor.

"Of course it isn't back to normal. How can they go back to normal after almost losing someone dear to them. It's isn't going to be normal for a while but you guys will find a new normal. A better normal. Just give it time. Especially for your wife and child. It hit them hard which is to be expected. They are glad you are back though. "

" Thank you doctor. I appreciate you being there for them when I couldn't be. You have been there for them more than you realize. "

"I will check on you tomorrow morning okay ?"

"Tommorow morning then. "

The doctor left giving me a smile," I'm glad you decided to stay. " He said understanding what I have been trying to tell everyone.

"Im glad to. "

He switched off the light then closed the door. I was surrounded by darkness now,it was overwhelming. I didn't like it. I covered the blanket over me trying to fall asleep but everytime I closed my eyes I could still see the car crash into me. I could see my dad,meemaw and pop pop now in my head. I missed them. I knew I needed to come back here. I knew I needed to fight but I hated how I had to leave them. I said the goodbye I needed to say,that I always wished I said.

I could hear my phone ringing as I picked it up immediately seeing it was Amy.

"Amy ?"I asked worried something happened.

"You okay ?" She asked relieved like she could breathe now.

"Im okay Amy. " I said trying to reassure her.

"Did I wake you up ?" She asked feeling guilty for calling me.

"No I can't sleep without you. I seemed to have forgotten how to do that. " I said.

"I hate sleeping without you to. "

"You couldn't sleep because of the things you told me earlier right ?" I asked remembering what she told me through the tears, wishing she would tell me that it wasn't true. Wishing that she told me that all of this wasn't the reason she struggled to sleep. I don't think I could live knowing that but I knew better than that. I knew her answer before she said it.

There was a short silence but I knew that meant yes but she didn't want to tell me. I hated that she felt like this. I hate that I did this to her. I hate that she hurt like this because of me. I hate that she was scared of losing me and the worse thing is that I couldn't promise I wouldn't be gone again because life was filled with cruel things. I felt a twinge of pain in my chest not being able to help her. There was nothing I could do but keep proving I was here but how did I prove that over the phone.

"Amy take your hand and put it on your chest and I will do the same okay. So know everytime you feel your heart is beating mine is beating to. I know that isn't completely helpful but it is just for now. I am here Amy. " I said putting my hand on my chest now as I felt my heart beating rapidly.

"Okay I can feel my heart beating. " She said it like it was the most fascinating thing ever.

"That's mine beating with yours okay. For tonight our hearts are becoming one. Your heartbeat is mine and mine is yours. "

"That's sappy. That sounds like something from a rom com movie. " She said giggling.

"I'm trying to be helpful" I said laughing now.

"How are we going to get through this if we can't even survive one night without each other ? Sheldon I can't take more days like this. It is torture. "

"We technically survived more nights away from each other but I understand what you mean. We will just take it one night to the next. Even if we have to call every night. "

"More nights of my heartbeats with yours and yours beats with mine so it becomes one ?" Amy said and I could hear her smile.

"Well you know I am never going to say that again. "

"No no. Please say it every night. I like it. I love it. "

"I can't tell if you are teasing me or telling the truth"

"No I would never tease about that I am serious Sheldon. I think it is cute. If only I could see your face when saying it. "

"Are you wearing your bracelet right now ?"

"Yeah I am why ?"

"I want you to read the back for me. I forgot to see it. "

"To the person who had my heart since:"I'm Amy Farrah Fowler and you're Sheldon Cooper". I couldn't imagine loving someone else. "She said as I heard the smile in her voice which made me smile.

"There we go. You got your cute sayings from me in one bracelet so I don't need to say them. "

"No . I don't have our hearts becoming one on here so you going to have to say that to me every night. "

"You are one of a kind Amy Farrah Fowler. "I said chuckling.

"I couldn't imagine being anything else. "

" I hate sleeping." Amy said.

"Since when ?" I asked giving a small laugh.

"Since now. I hate being away from you. " She said sounding like a child.

"I mean unfortunately there isn't any cure for that yet but once there is I will let you know but one of the symptoms that you are having Sheldon withdrawal symptoms is that you hate sleeping. "

"You really are a special type of full of yourself. " Amy said laughing.

"You married me. I thought you would know why. "

"I married you for your sister and your mom. " She said.

"Ouch. That hurts my ego. "I said holding my hand to my chest.

"Well if it wasn't so big maybe it wouldn't get hurt. " She said laughing again.

"Well if you said you married me for my brother then my ego would shrink so small it would become a micro organism. "

"Well I didn't want to tell you this over the phone but the reason I truly married you is..." She said taking a pause.

"You wouldn't dare. " I said before she continued.

"Is because you drive me insane and I love you. " She continued as she laughed.

"I love you to so much. "

"Is your heart still beating ?" She said like she really didn't know the answer but I was talking to her wasn't I.

"Is yours ?"

"Yes."

"Then yes. Your heart is beating so is mine. "

"I getting tired now but I don't want to sleep. I want to talk to you forever. "She said as I heard her yawn.

"I want to talk to you to until your ears get sick and tired of hearing my voice. "

"I could never get tired of hearing your voice. "

" Go get some sleep Amy. You can call me when you wake up to see if I am still okay. Get some rest. The twins need some rest to. "

"I don't want you to go. " She said refusing

"Okay then. I will stay on the call and wait till you fall asleep okay. "

"Okay then I am going to fall asleep now. See you again Sheldon. "

"See you again Amy. Sleep well. "

I stayed on for awhile listening to her sleep. I felt alone now. I didn't like that feeling but I am so glad she called me. I needed her more than I thought. I couldn't wait to get out of this hospital. I didn't like hospitals. I knew that we were going to be okay though. We just needed time. We all just needed time. Everything was going to be okay.

to be continued...

The next chapter will be better and cuter. This chapter was needed to help you understand things better. I hope you enjoyed it even though it wasn't the best chapter ever. Let me know what you thought and thank you for all your love and support :)