Chapter 5

"Come on, Sheldon, we're going to be late."

Sheldon went out of his room in his pajamas. "I can't go in today. I'm sick." Sheldon dramatically pretended to blow his nose.

"You're not sick. You just don't want to see Dr. Fowler. Besides, I heard you taking a shower earlier. An unusually long shower might I add." Leonard smirked. Sheldon became tense.

Leonard wanted to thank Amy for giving him the opportunity to tease Sheldon. I could get used to this. Dr. Fowler, what took you so long?

Sheldon tried to change the topic. "No, I really am sick. Look." Sheldon showed Leonard his temperature. "128." Leonard rolled his eyes.

"Sheldon Lee Cooper, I do not have time for this nonsense. Now, go put your clothes on, get in the car, and let's go to work."

"All right, geez. What a grouch." Sheldon went back to his room to change.

Leonard was dumbfounded. "How did I do that? I got to remember how I did that."

"Sheldon, you're being ridiculous," Leonard whined as he walked Sheldon to his office. Sheldon was crouched behind him, trying to hide from Dr. Fowler in case they see her.

"Now, once we arrive at the door, I want you to knock on it and check if she's there. If she is, say you're just lost, close the door and bring me home." Sheldon was on the lookout.

Why am I even doing this? Leonard rolled his eyes. Both men arrived at the door, Leonard knocked but no one answered. He opened the door and saw no one in the office.

"She's not here yet. You have nothing to worry about for now." Leonard teased. "See ya, buddy. Good luck later!" Leonard left Sheldon and went on his way.

"What do you mean, for now!?" Sheldon shouted at Leonard but was already gone.

An hour later.

"A hush falls over the crowd as Cooper studies the board. He makes his move. He's dividing both sides by I. He's adding back the coefficient. He has a value for P. He's plugging that back in. He takes the derivative, and he solves the equation. The crowd goes wild. Nobel! Nobel!" Sheldon raised his hands up in the air.

"Dr. Cooper?" Amy finally arrived.

His heart raced at the sound of her voice. "Nobel. Dr. Fowler. Don't look at my board." Sheldon flips his board over. "What's that?" Amy looked puzzled.

"That's a drawing of a really cool train." Sheldon smiled. "Don't look at that, either." He covered his train defensively.

Amy shrugged and sat at her desk. Yes, Fowler. Just ignore him.

With his attention to his whiteboard, his peripheral vision noticed that Amy kept staring at him.

In any situation, both of them would've preferred this kind of silence. However, when it came to them being alone together, ignorance wasn't bliss.

Hating the awkwardness of it all, Sheldon spoke up. "Not that it's my business, but why are you here so late?"

Sheldon snorted. Her first official day and she's already late. Sheldon then had a realization.

Was it because of last night? Is she going to mention it? Oh Good God, I hope not. Sheldon was fidgeting with his marker.

Talking it is then. Amy sighed. "I apologize for my tardiness. I would've been on time if I managed to find a parking space. Fortunately, after calling President Seibert, he assigned me this one spot that's barely being used. Space 294."

Sheldon was lost in thought. Why should I even care why she's late? Wait… Did she just say…?

"I'm sorry, 294?" He placed his marker down and turned to her. Amy nodded, "Yes."

"That's my parking spot." Sheldon crossed his arms.

"Oh, it never occurred to me that you owned one. If your car wasn't there, how'd you arrive here then?" She tilted her head.

Before Sheldon could come up with an answer, Leonard knocks on the door.

"Sheldon, you left your phone in my car." Sheldon looked guilty. Drats!

"Oh, hello. Am I interrupting something?"

"Good morning, Dr. Fowler. I'm Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon's roommate." Leonard waved at Amy and became nervous as she approached him.

Amy shook his hand. "Good morning, Dr. Hofstadter. If you don't mind me asking, how does Dr. Cooper come here every day?"

"Oh, I drive him every morning. If I'm busy, he just takes the bus." Sheldon waved his arms at Leonard telling him to shut up.

What a blabbermouth! Sheldon thought in frustration.

"Interesting." Amy had a glint in her eye. She turned to Sheldon. "Why would someone who gets chauffeured around by his roommate own a parking spot?"

Leonard interjected. "Wait, why do you have a parking spot? You don't have a car. You don't even drive." Leonard was confused and both he and Amy looked to Sheldon for an explanation.

"I know how to drive." Sheldon's eyes twitched. "I just choose not to."

"He doesn't know how to drive," Leonard affirmed Dr. Fowler.

Amy clapped her hands together. "Then that settles it. Dr. Cooper, you should have no issue with me parking in your spot. Thank you for the clarification, Dr. Hofstadter."

Amy tried to go back to her desk, but Sheldon stopped her and took a deep breath. "Me not knowing how to drive doesn't matter. It's still my spot."

"Maybe they reassigned it because you never use it." Leonard reasoned.

"Well, I'm not using my nipples, either. Maybe they should reassign those." Sheldon replied.

Leonard tried to calm him down. "Sheldon, someday, if you get a car, I'm sure they'll give you another parking space."

"I don't want another parking space. I want my parking space. It's perfect. It's a corner spot, cutting the risk of door-dings in half. It's a mere 28 steps from the building entrance. The nearby tree provides shade on hot days and is also home to a delightful squirrel. Which is fortuitous because most squirrels are real jerks."

Amy placed her hand under her chin. "Fun story. Meanwhile, you still don't have a car."

"Don't try to change the subject, Dr. Fowler. This is about a parking space. It has nothing to do with cars."

"Buddy, are you listening to yourself?" Leonard placed his hand on Sheldon's shoulder.

"I always listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life." Sheldon looked at Amy. "Now, get your car out of my spot."

Amy paused for a second. "Absolutely not."

"This is ridiculous. You are messing with one of the great minds of our generation. I work on a level so rarified you couldn't even imagine it." Leonard and Amy looked at his whiteboard. "I said stop looking at my cool train!"

"Uhh... craziness aside, it was nice meeting you, Dr. Fowler." Leonard nodded at Amy.

"Nice meeting you too. Oh, and you can call me Amy." Amy politely smiled at Leonard.

Leonard noticed Sheldon's irritated expression and took it as a sign to leave immediately. "Okay. Bye, Amy. Bye, Sheldon." He quickly left the room.

Sheldon felt his pulse rise. His fists were clenched after seeing Leonard and Dr. Fowler's exchange.

That's one strike for Leonard.

Amy ignored Sheldon and went back to her desk. Sheldon confronted Amy.

"I'm warning you. If you don't move your car out of my spot, there will be consequences." Amy said nothing and continued ignoring Sheldon.

"I'll tell President Seibert about this." There was continued silence. "Are you really going to ignore me?"

Amy looked at her nails in disinterest. "Very well. You leave me no choice."

Minutes later...

Sheldon groaned in frustration as he tried to push Amy's car out of his spot to no avail. "What are you looking at, you stupid squirrel?"

Sheldon immediately went to Raj's office to try and make amends. "Knock knock knock, Good buddy Raj. Knock knock knock, Good buddy Raj. Knock knock knock, Good buddy Raj." Raj opened the door and looked at him with a sour expression.

"Hey, good buddy. So, uh, I was just speaking with Dr. Fowler, and she made me realize that this little dust-up between you and me is much ado about nothing."

"Is that so?"

"I apologize for the things I said. I realized it would be best to continue staying with you in your office. I'll get you your favorite pudding in the cafeteria, and I'll let you complain about your life and make it look as if I care." Sheldon smiled.

Raj wasn't having any of it. "Cut to the chase, Sheldon."

"Okay. Dr. Fowler has been making my life a living hell ever since she got here so I need you to take me back, you lovable scamp." Sheldon ruffled Raj's hair. "That's a lot of product."

"I accept your apology, Sheldon." Sheldon felt relief wash over him. "Does this mean we can continue sharing this office?"

"No." Raj smiled in delight. Shamy became a hot topic among the group. Penny blabbed to Bernadette, Bernadette told Howard, and the rest is history.

"No?" Sheldon looked down in disappointment. "Well, why not?"

"It's only for a few weeks, Sheldon. Why don't we grab a bite at the cafeteria to get your mind off your troubles? Oh, and I think I'll take up your offer on that pudding." Raj placed his hand on Sheldon's shoulder and they walked towards the cafeteria.

"Well, I suppose we should-" Sheldon and Raj both stopped in their tracks as they entered the cafeteria.

Sheldon let out a yell. "NO!"

Leonard knocked on Howard's door. He was supposed to fetch him to meet up with Sheldon and Raj at the cafeteria.

He entered and saw Howard finishing up. "Ready to go to lunch?" Howard nodded and they went on their way.

"So, how are the wedding plans?" Leonard asked as they walked.

"Going great! Bernadette and Penny have been doing some dress shopping." Howard knew that Leonard wanted to talk about something else. "So, how's Shelbot?"

"Did you hear about it from Bernadette?"

Howard sighed. "Yes, she's been talking about it non-stop last night. She even suggested we invite Amy to the wedding."

Leonard smiled. "So, I guess everyone's aboard the Shamy train then. You know, this could go on for years."

"Hey, as long as this Amy Farrah Fowler deals with Sheldon for us, then who are we to complain? Oh, speak of the devil." Howard heard some noise over at the cafeteria.

"What's all this?" Leonard asked as he and Howard saw Raj by the entrance looking from afar.

"Hey, Raj. Why is everyone crowded over our table?" Howard asked. "See for yourselves."

The three men saw Sheldon and Amy arguing with each other as a number of other Caltech employees watch them in interest.

"Oof. Shamy's hit a reef." Leonard remarked. Raj didn't understand the term so Howard made it easier for him to understand. "Went to boom-boom." Raj nodded, finally understanding.

Sheldon: First, you take my office. Then, you take my parking spot. And now you plan on taking our table at the cafeteria? Way to go and rain on my parade, Dr. Fowler.

Amy: Dr. Cooper, I came here to have lunch in peace. This was the only table available and you weren't using it anyway. I'm almost finished. Why don't you just wait until I leave?

Sheldon: I can't stand for it anymore! What do you plan on taking next? My work? My salary? My apartment? You would like that, wouldn't you?

Amy: Please. Why would I even want anything to do with your work?

Sheldon: Anyone would jump at the chance to partake in my work. Of course, this is something that's hard for you to understand since Neurobiology's nothing more than the science of gray squishy stuff.

Sheldon struck a chord with Amy. Everyone in the cafeteria noticed the atmosphere start to change.

Amy stood up from her seat and looked Sheldon square in the eye.

Amy: Did you just belittle my field and intellectual aptitude as a scientist?

Sheldon: If the lab room disposable shoe cover fits.

Sheldon smirked and crossed his arms while a chorus of "oohs" surfaced. Leonard, Raj, and Howard went closer to join the circle.

Howard rubbed his hands together. "Gentlemen, I guess we'll witness the geekiest showdown known to man. My bets are on Amy."

Raj whispered to Howard and Leonard. "Same here. That wasn't a good science diss."

Amy: Well, if we're questioning intellectual aptitude here then allow me to question yours. I mean, what would a theoretical physicist understand about an experiment anyway? You wouldn't know a confounding variable if two of them hit you in the face at the same time. And you don't even get that joke, 'cause you don't even work with confounding variables.

Another chorus of "oohs" appeared. However, the support was now leaning towards Amy.

Sheldon: How dare you?

Amy: Oh, you heard me. Your experimental bona fides are laughable.

Sheldon: Whoa, whoa! Now you're making fun of my bona fides?

Amy: Can't make fun of something that's a null set.

Sheldon's mouth was open as the crowd of scientists cheered for Amy. Howard turned to Leonard and Raj. "I feel like I should say damn."

Kripke stood beside them and heard what Howard said. "Do it." Leonard and Raj nodded. "DAMN!" Howard exclaimed.

Sheldon glared at his so-called friends. Also, he noticed Kripke look at Amy like he was hunting for prey. His anger raised ten-fold.

Sheldon: I am a published theoretical physicist with two doctorates and an IQ that can't be measured by normal tests. I don't have to stand here and take this. You better watch your back, little lady! You made the wrong decision challenging Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper. Get ready to face my wrath.

Amy: Fine.

Sheldon: Fine.

Amy: Good.

Sheldon: Great.

Both Sheldon and Amy went silent for a minute. To anyone's eyes, anyone could mistake their argument for foreplay. The silence made everyone uncomfortable.

They stared at each other intensely, breathless from what just occurred.

Howard took the hint and told everyone crowding around the table to leave. "Alright folks, the show's over. Come back next time." A lot of sighs and murmurs were heard.

Once all of them were left alone, Amy took her tray and left immediately. The four men got their food and went to their seats.

Raj was the first to speak up. "Sheldon, why did you have to give her a hard time? She said she was gonna leave."

Howard followed. "Yeah, did you really have to do that?"

Sheldon ignored them. He continued angrily eating his food.

"Oh no. It's gonna be World War 3 here, isn't it?" Leonard asked in fear of Sheldon's response.

"Oh, we're just getting started," Sheldon said with a devilish smirk.

End of Chapter 5.

Author's Note: I apologize if this chapter's shorter than the others. I decided to end the chapter like this because I have so much in store for how their rivalry's going to go. Don't worry, everyone. They'll become friends eventually. Also, the Facebook friend request situation will be addressed later on.

Notable episodes I used: The Cooper-Kripke Inversion, The Parking Spot Escalation, The Cohabitation Experimentation

I'm currently writing Chapter 6, so stay tuned! Leave a fav, follow, or review if you can :)