Chapter 13

Author's Note: A shout out to the following for their support in the last chapter: natch2000, AlHc924, Jax, green-ninja05. Thank you also to all the new readers for this story. All of you are in for such a ride. Please keep leaving reviews. They motivate me to keep writing! :)

Earlier.

Sheldon called and discussed his plan with Raj who had nothing better to do that day.

"Help me find a good restaurant around Glendale."

"What's this for, Sheldon?"

"You don't need to know."

"Come on, dude. Wait, Amy lives in Glendale. Are you two...?"

"No. She'll be having a date with Kripke."

"Shut your ass! Amy likes Kripke? And you're the one setting up their date? That's gotta hurt, buddy."

Sheldon said nothing. He felt his pulse rise in anger. "Are you going to help me or not?"

Raj only agreed to help Sheldon if he could come with.

"Fine. You can come along. But first, drive me to Amy's. She'll drive me to the restaurant instead. You check if Kripke's there and sit at our table." Sheldon rolled his eyes and Raj was overjoyed. He really had no other plans.

"Sure thing. I'll reserve the tables for later and send you the details. See ya!" Raj hung up and quickly went to his bedroom to find something to wear.

This is so nerve-wracking! It's been a long time since I've been on a date- Raj then realized that his date would technically be with Sheldon. He started questioning his life decisions.

Sheldon got Kripke's number online and gave him a call.

"Who is this?"

"Well, hello Kripke."

Sheldon could hear Kripke muttering under his breath. He couldn't understand any word of it but it didn't sound all too pleasant.

"Why are you calling, Cooper?"

"Cool your jets. I don't want to do this either. It's about Amy."

"Okay... What about her?"

"Amy has..." Sheldon couldn't say it. Come on, Cooper. You can soldier through this. "expressed her interest in you as a sexual partner."

There was a brief pause on the line. "W-Wait a minute. I thought Amy was your girlfriend?"

"She's not my-" He felt himself choke up a little "...girlfriend. She's my friend, and as much as I think you don't deserve her- I just want her to be happy. She's told me that she's been having distressing symptoms because of you and I thought that the best solution would be setting the two of you up on a date."

"Interesting... So you two have never...?"

"Never what?"

"Uh, never mind. Of course, you haven't. So, what now?"

"I'll send you the address to a bistro near Amy's apartment, I'll escort her there to meet you, and both of you can decide whether or not you'd have disappointing coitus." Sheldon felt his skin crawl. "Fair warning. Raj and I will be at another table to monitor you so that there's no funny business."

Why the hell is he doing this?

Why the hell am I doing this?

Kripke was thinking long and hard whether or not he could trust Sheldon. It didn't seem like Amy was interested in him at all. However, he couldn't deny that if it were true, he'd be jumping over the moon.

"This better not be a prank, Cooper. I still remember last time. I'll be there. Text me the details." Kripke hung up.

Sheldon didn't set Amy and Kripke on a date for her sake. It was actually for his own selfish reasons.

Once she goes out with him, she'll completely be turned off by Kripke's obnoxious personality. Penny said so herself that one time. She'll ditch Kripke in the end, reject the stupid concept of romance, and continue being friends with me. No one will be in the way this time. Everything will go back to normal as planned. And I'll be there witnessing Kripke's defeat. Point Cooper.

Sheldon rubbed his hands together. "This plan is foolproof. Hehehe" He smirked mischievously. Leonard came and noticed his friend's scheming.

"What are you doing?"

"Oh, I was just... putting on some lotion."

"Whatever. I'm going to Penny's." Leonard went out the door.

Sheldon snickered. "What a rube. Why would I put on lotion when I have such soft hands?"

Sheldon and Amy arrived at a French bistro a few blocks away from Amy's apartment. It was a quaint restaurant with a lot of candles and a bar that served drinks on one side.

"Sheldon, this place is so romantic."

"Oh, I'm glad you like it. Raj picked it out."

"Well, when you see him, tell him I say thank you."

"Tell him yourself."

Raj waved at them. "Yoo-hoo! Over here!" It was obvious that he already had a few glasses.

Amy gave a confused expression. "I don't understand. What's he doing here?"

"I invited him."

So, this isn't a date... "Will he be dining with us?"

"I'll be dining with him. Your table is over there at the center." Amy noticed a guy already there at the table with his back facing them.

Who is that? Before she could ask, Sheldon called out to the strange man. "Kripke! Your date is here."

Kripke turned to Sheldon's voice and immediately stood up to approach the two of them. He was wearing a grey suit.

"Hi, Amy you look... ravishing tonight."

I don't understand. He gave me this whole presentation on why I shouldn't be attracted to Kripke... And now he sets me up with him on this date?

"You look good too." She looked down, disappointed by this turn of events.

"Well... I'll let you two get on with your date." Sheldon winked at Amy and gave her a thumbs up. He went back to Raj and got seated.

"Shall we?" Kripke took Amy to her seat.

"What was your whole plan again?" Raj looked at Sheldon who was perusing his menu.

"I already told you. Amy is attracted to Kripke, but that's because she doesn't know what a jerk he really is. If the date doesn't go well, she'll move on and return to the realm of pure intellect."

"But what if it goes well?"

"I would snort in derision and throw my arms in the air, exhausted by your constant tomfoolery. I know Amy. She'll have a hard time enjoying a date with someone so tedious."

"I'm just saying, Sheldon. If Amy enjoys the date, then all your plans would be for nothing."

"You underestimate me too much, Raj. Let's just watch and observe." Sheldon called for the waiter and he and Raj both gave their order. They continued monitoring Amy's date.

"I have to say, Amy, I didn't think you'd be so bold to do all this just to get in my pants. All you had to do was ask." He chuckled.

Amy was ignoring him. She couldn't even hear him. Her mind was preoccupied as she stared off in the distance looking at Sheldon.

Kripke took note of this. "Amy. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." She said this while she was still looking at Sheldon with a frown on her face.

Kripke took note of this and came to a realization.

He spoke up. "I see what this is about. You're trying to make Cooper jealous, aren't you?"

"Not at all. I didn't even think I'd see you here."

"Then why would he want to set us up?"

Amy realized she had to come clean. She took a deep breath. "Okay. I'm going to tell you something but please promise not to tell anyone. Especially Sheldon."

"I'm all ears."

Amy told Kripke everything. He paused for a moment processing what she just said. "So let me get this straight. You used me as a ploy so that Cooper wouldn't find out that you liked him?"

"Umm, yes." She gulped. Amy felt so guilty. She hardly knew who Kripke was yet she took advantage of her first encounter with him in the office.

"How are you so sure that he doesn't like you as well?"

Amy was amused by his suggestion. "Please. A man like Sheldon would never consider anyone to be a romantic partner. Our relationship is strictly and permanently platonic. He even told me once that he found the concept of coitus to be ridiculous and off-putting."

"Yikes. What a buzzkill. And you still like him even after all that?"

"I do. He understands me like nobody else. It'll take some time, but I've chosen to hide these feelings so as not to jeopardize our friendship."

"I see." Kripke thought about the whole situation. So, she likes Cooper. But I can hardly believe that he doesn't want her at all. I mean, look at her!

Suddenly, he had an idea. Kripke placed his hand on Amy's much to her shock as well as Sheldon and Raj, who were watching them from the other table.

"What are you-" Before Amy could ask and tell him to let go of her hand, Kripke whispered to her.

"Is he looking over here?"

Amy noticed Sheldon looking their way. "Yes, he is."

"Are there any signs of anger or jealousy that you could maybe pick up on?"

She continued observing Sheldon. "Well… He is glaring right at you. And it looks like he's about to stab you with that fork he's holding."

Kripke scoffed, still holding Amy's hand. "I knew it. He likes you."

Amy's cheeks turned pink. "W-What? How are you so sure?"

"Trust me. You're a biologist, right? Surely you can see that he's currently losing his mind over you. Aren't you curious to figure out what he really feels?"

Well, if primate psychology were applied here, Sheldon would think about flinging his feces at Kripke right about now.

Amy knew that question was a no-brainer. She looked at Sheldon and sighed. "I guess I am... But how exactly are we going to do that?"

"Aside from wanting to know how he feels, it is to my understanding that you also want Cooper to never find out you like him, right?" Amy nodded.

"Well, if that's the case, let's just act like we're having a good time and you can find out if he's okay with it or not. He would think you're actually interested in me and you can assess whether or not he has feelings for you."

Before Amy could call it a ridiculous idea, Kripke continued talking.

"If you're wondering why I'm doing this, I just want to mess with Cooper, that's all. I can forgive you for using me for your own personal issues, but I wouldn't want this night to be a waste of time. So, I'm choosing to help you out."

"I'm sorry."

"No problem. What do you say? Are you ready to see Cooper's face explode?"

"I don't think I'd want to see that."

"I would." He smirked.

Amy wanted to decline. She didn't want to manipulate Sheldon that way. But it wouldn't hurt to see if her pretending to date Kripke would spark any feelings Sheldon may have for her.

"Fine. But only for tonight."

"So be it. Now go ahead and pretend to laugh at something I said. He'd hate that."

Amy tried her best to laugh naturally. It was very awkward, but Sheldon believed everything he saw.

Amy listened to everything that Kripke told her to do for the rest of the night, much to Sheldon's dismay.

What could Kripke possibly say to make Amy laugh like that and why are they holding hands?

Sheldon grumbled in his seat and started eating his food angrily.

"Are you alright there, Sheldon?" Raj was starting to feel bad for his friend. I warned him but he wouldn't listen.

"Oh, I'm more than alright, Raj. What made you think otherwise? My friend is having the time of her life with a guy I absolutely loathe. I'm ecstatic."

"Hey, you're finally learning sarcasm."

"Let's just eat." Sheldon looked down at his food.

"Hey look! Kripke's feeding her from his plate." Raj mused.

What!? His own saliva's in there! Why would she- "I think I'm going to be sick."

Sheldon's fists clenched and it seemed as if he wanted to stand up and stop them from continuing any further.

"I can't believe this, but your plan's working, Kripke."

"Of course, it is. Cooper may think he's so special but he's still a man. Now bite your lip."

"Bite my what?"

"If a girl bites her lips, it comes off as flirting. It also means she's interested in the guy she's with."

"Oh, okay..." Amy tried biting her lip but she bit it too hard. She yelped in pain. "Ow!"

"I didn't tell you to bite it that hard… Ooh, that's gotta hurt."

Sheldon saw what happened and rushed to their table with a look of concern on his face. "Amy, are you alright? Did this imbecile do anything to hurt you?" He scowled at Kripke.

Before Amy could speak, Kripke brought out a handkerchief from his pocket and gently pressed it on her lips. "We're fine, Cooper. She accidentally bit her lip while we were eating." Amy took the handkerchief and held it to her mouth.

Sheldon flinched seeing what Kripke did. He had to get her away from him. "I believe it's getting late. I think Amy needs to leave and tend to her injury. I'll just-" Kripke interrupted him.

"Leave it to me, Cooper. Amy just asked me if I could have coffee with her in her apartment. Isn't that right, Amy?." He looked at her as if he was telling Amy to follow his lead. Amy took the hint.

"Is this true, Amy?"

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. See you." Amy was trying her best not to hurt her lips while talking.

Kripke linked their arms together and whispered to Sheldon. "Thanks for all of this, Cooper. You're a real one." He winked at him and both of them left.

"Hey! You forgot to pay the bill!" Sheldon called out but they weren't there anymore. He was speechless. What just happened?

Both Raj and Sheldon paid for the bill and went to Raj's car. Raj turned to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I told you, dude."

Sheldon had a serious look on his face. "Coffee isn't a euphemism for intercourse, right?"

"Uh, I don't know, Sheldon." Raj gulped. In Kripke's case, he bet it was.

"Answer me, Raj. It is, isn't it?" Sheldon wasn't even hiding his anger anymore.

"Just relax, Sheldon. Nothing will happen between the two of them."

"How can we know for sure? I mean, this wasn't even supposed to happen!"

Sheldon's eyes widened. "Oh, dear. What if he's a skilled hypnotist?"

"What?"

Sheldon continued. "While unlikely, it's still a statistical possibility. She might be performing sexual acts with him and not even know it."

"Now you're just being ridiculous," Raj replied.

"Am I? The mind's a mysterious thing, Raj. Kripke could be having the time of his life while Amy thinks she's a chicken pecking for corn."

There's no way. Raj thought. Sheldon hastily fastened his seatbelt. "Step on it, Raj. We have to follow them now before something terrible happens."

Sheldon was adamant about it so Raj followed what he said. They hurriedly drove to Amy's.

When they finally arrived, both of them noticed that Amy and Kripke were outside her apartment building.

"Oh, good. Nothing's happened yet." Sheldon felt relief wash over him.

"What do you think they're talking about?" Raj whispered.

"I'm not sure. I just hope he's not coming with her inside. Let's keep our heads down. They might see us."

Sheldon and Raj tried to make out what Amy and Kripke were talking about. "We should've brought binoculars." Sheldon shushed Raj up.

Kripke asked Amy about everything that happened between her and Sheldon. He was also laughing his heart out hearing what Amy did during their feud. This woman's brilliant.

"Caltech sure is more interesting with you around, Amy. As much as I'm hurt that it's Cooper you're crazy about, I'm glad to have met someone like you."

Amy chuckled. "I had a great time as well. Again, I'm so sorry about all of this. Thanks for helping me out and not blabbing to Sheldon."

"Oh, I don't mind at all. Seeing Cooper all riled up was worth every minute."

"Do you really mean what you said? Does he really like me?"

"You've seen it. He'd be a fool not to."

"I'm still having a hard time believing you."

"Well, if I'm wrong, maybe he's just really stupid."

"Would you still want that coffee? Maybe you can give me more tips on Sheldon."

"Nah. The act's over. As long as you don't bite on your lips too hard again, you'll be fine. Plus, I had plans to get lucky tonight. I'm going someplace else for that."

"Oh, I see. Good luck then. Good night, Kripke."

"Good night. You can call me Barry the next time we see each other. Maybe we could discuss work sometime."

"Sure thing. Thanks for all your help."

As Kripke was walking away, he noticed Sheldon and Raj in their car.

"I guess he isn't coming in for coffee after all," Sheldon said with satisfaction.

"Maybe he just said that to get a rise over you."

"Well, that's not possible. I knew Amy wouldn't ask him to come over." He crossed his arms.

"Wait, Kripke's not leaving yet."

Sheldon and Raj saw Kripke go back to Amy and turn her around.

Their jaws dropped.

Kripke took Amy by the arm and put his hands on her face. "They followed us here. Just go along with what I'm doing."

He made it look as if he was kissing Amy even if he wasn't. Amy stayed quiet. So, Sheldon followed us huh?... He is so into me!

"Raj, take me home."

"I'm so sorry, Shel-"

"Now."

Raj stepped on the gas and they left Amy's apartment building.

Kripke stepped back. "They're gone. You really should be paying me for this, Amy. They almost found out we were playing them all along."

"Yeah. That was a close one."

Amy and Kripke both said their goodbyes as Amy went back to her apartment.

Well, Sheldon's never going to question I have feelings for him now... He did look jealous... Did I do the right thing?

Amy prepared for bed, trying to analyze all of Sheldon's reactions earlier.

Sheldon was having a hard time trying to sleep. He was squirming in his bed. He then sat up, bothered by his thoughts.

Why did he kiss her?

Did she kiss him back?

Did she enjoy it?

Sheldon was starting to regret everything he did. He had so many questions in his mind. All of which couldn't be answered.

Suddenly, Amy appeared before him, looking all dressed up like earlier.

"Amy? W-What are you doing here?"

"Relax, Sheldon. I'm only a figment of your imagination." Imaginary Amy went to sit beside him on the bed.

I must be going crazy. Sheldon tried to close his eyes and shake his head, but she was still there.

Imaginary Amy: I honestly don't know why I'm here. The real me's with Kripke right now.

Sheldon: Do you think Kripke's with her now in her apartment?

Imaginary Amy: Probably. Why do you ask?

Sheldon: Oh, nothing.

Imaginary Amy: Are you jealous?

Sheldon: Why would I be jealous?

Imaginary Amy: You tell me. Why is an imaginary version of Amy here on your bed when you should be asleep and happy for her as she does who knows what with Kripke?

Sheldon: The real Amy should be here instead. Would she actually prefer being with Kripke instead of me, her dear friend?

Imaginary Amy: I think she'd prefer it if you just told her how you felt. You like her, yet you set her up with your sworn enemy. Why is that?

Sheldon: What was I supposed to do? She's attracted to him. Not me.

Imaginary Amy: Who said she wasn't attracted to you?

Sheldon: She threw up after she kissed me.

Imaginary Amy: Wasn't that just the alcohol's effects on her digestive system? Think about it, Sheldon. You've never even asked her how she felt about you.

Sheldon: It's pointless. She likes Kripke.

Imaginary Amy: Oh, right.

Sheldon looked down at her lips. It's like she's really here. It's oddly remarkable.

Sheldon: Your lips are also wounded.

Imaginary Amy: Yeah. But I'll be fine. I'm not the real Amy anyway. She's probably with Kripke right now having the night of her life.

Sheldon: What do you think they're doing?

Imaginary Amy leaned in. "I don't know. Maybe he's kissing her wound to make it all better." She looked at him suggestively.

"Shut up. I don't want to hear this."

"Why? Sad it's not you instead?"

"Yes! That's the problem. I can't let her distract me this way. Now, get out of my mind."

"You can try and remove Amy from your mind, Sheldon. But you can never remove her from there." She placed her hand on his chest.

It all felt so real for him. It took all of his strength not to kiss her right now just to shut her up for good.

"Stop it!" He pushed her away only to see that Imaginary Amy already vanished. He was all alone again in his bedroom.

Sheldon was restless the whole night. He came to the conclusion that there was only one way all this suffering would stop.

Sheldon arrived early at Caltech. He noticed Amy was already there.

She remembered everything that happened that night, ashamed to manipulate him like that. "G-Good morning."

"Good morning. How was your date?"

Oh, right. I should keep pretending. "I really enjoyed it. Thanks, Sheldon. You really are a good friend."

"That's good to hear." Sheldon placed his bag at the side of his desk and went to Amy. "I'll get straight to the point. Something's been bothering me and I need to let it all out."

Amy's heart skipped a beat. Did Barry's plan really work? Is he finally admitting his feelings?

"What is it, Sheldon?" She stood up to hear what he had to say.

"Let's terminate our friendship immediately."

Amy felt a pin drop. No, this is not how I wanted it to go. "What do you mean by that?"

"I was wrong to consider you as an intellectual equal. You are but a slave to your baser urges just like everybody else."

"What about our experiment?"

"Considering the progress we've made so far, I'll agree to continue working with you until it's over. After that, it's best that we stop hanging around one another and go about our usual business."

"Is this about me and Barry?"

"Oh, you're on a first-name basis as well now, right? How wonderful for the two of you." Sheldon gave a forced smile.

"I didn't ask you to set me up on a date with him, Sheldon."

Sheldon scoffed. "I don't understand. I thought that's what you wanted."

"No, it's not."

"But you like Kripke, correct?"

"I…I don't."

What? Sheldon's mind was all over the place. "Then explain what happened last night. You two seemed awfully comfortable with one another."

Sheldon noticed how Amy wasn't responding. Heh... She does like him.

"Well, I hope you're happy. You see, I didn't plan for it to go this way. I wasn't trying to be a good friend. I just thought that if I helped you with your urges, maybe you would finally realize that people like us aren't meant to waste our time on romantic entanglements. But now, you've changed. Did you enjoy kissing him? Did he spend the night? Are you going to see him again?" Sheldon was red in the face. He was fuming.

All of a sudden during his rant, Amy held his hand. His anger quickly melted away, replaced with confusion.

"What are you doing?"

"An experiment." Amy tried to guess what Sheldon was thinking and observed his reaction. He looked at her quizzically.

Amy let go of his hand. "Nope. Nothing. Never mind."

Sheldon felt his hand tingling. "Why'd you hold my hand?"

"To confirm a hypothesis," Amy answered.

"Which was?"

"I'm not obligated to tell you."

Sheldon had no idea what was going on. "Why not?"

"It's confidential. You wouldn't understand." Amy turned away from Sheldon, her eyes starting to water.

"Try me."

"It doesn't matter, we're not friends anymore, remember? Let's just get back to work." Amy tried to get the marker but he beat her to it.

"No. I want you to tell me. Answer my questions about Kripke and why you held my hand."

"It's none of your concern. Give me that marker."

"Come and get it." Sheldon raised his arm higher so that she couldn't get it.

"Sheldon, you're being ridiculous."

"I could say the same."

Amy tried her best to get the marker from Sheldon to no avail.

Aha! I know what to do. Amy tickled him at the sides.

"Stop it this instant!" Sheldon dropped the marker while he was giggling. Amy quickly went down to get it.

When she stood up, she felt Sheldon come up behind her. He tried getting the marker back from her and both of them were struggling to claim it.

Without them realizing it, they seemed to be in a very comfortable position. With Sheldon's arms wrapped around her from behind. To anyone else's eyes, it would look as if they were playfully flirting.

They stopped fighting, just realizing how close they were once again.

They were both enveloped in each other's scent. They didn't want to move at all.

Amy felt her heart beating out of her chest. She felt Sheldon's as well. His breathing was erratic.

They heard the door open and saw President Seibert. Before he noticed, they both jumped away from each other.

"Oh. Have I come at the wrong time again?"

Amy cleared her throat. "No, President Seibert. We were just working on our quantum cognition experiment. What brings you here?"

"Well, I'm here to give good news. It took a while, but your lab is finally finished. You can start moving there today." President Seibert smiled.

Sheldon and Amy widened their eyes. They looked disappointed.

"Oh. That's great news..." Amy sounded sadder than she was supposed to.

"I'm also here to bring you there so that you could check if everything's in top shape before you transfer. Or are you busy at the moment?"

She glanced at Sheldon. "...Not at all." Amy went with President Seibert and left Sheldon inside the office.

"I guess fate really is a heartless bitch." Sheldon picked up the marker on the floor and sighed.

Sheldon felt something inside of him shatter.

End of Chapter 13.

Author's Note: Ooh. Angst again. That's all for this chapter. It's amusing to see Kripke help Amy out in making Sheldon jealous. (They didn't kiss okay? I would never do that. Don't worry, Kripke's reluctantly aboard the Shamy train.) With Sheldon terminating their friendship and Amy moving out of the office, does this mark the end of Shamy?

The next chapters will explore how they'll feel being apart (also, there will be more of Imaginary Amy.) I hope all of you are looking forward to what this story has in store and how everything gets resolved in the end. Why can't they just confess to each other already? Believe me, I hate this back and forth between them so much. But trust me, it'll just make it more satisfying to see them get together in the end.

Notable episodes I used: The Date Night Variable, The Alien Parasite Hypothesis, The Raiders Minimization, The 43 Peculiarity

Tell me what you think of this chapter. A fav/follow/review would deeply be appreciated. Until next time, Shamy fans!