Sunlight fell across the water and shattered into a gleam that hurt Shepard's eyes. She was alone, except for the man sitting next to her on the park bench, no one in sight on the soft grass or the sand that led down to the bay.

Nothing but her own breathing and the cool wind whistling.

"Nice view," the man said and took a long drink from his beer.

She tilted her head to look over at him, and knew she was dreaming. Kaidan Alenko had been dead for years, after all.

"I'm sorry," she said.

He smiled, warm brown eyes on her. "What for?"

"You didn't deserve to die."

He shrugged. "I don't think 'deserving' comes into it all too often."

"You might be right." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm still sorry." And she was. Kaidan had been good and kind and he'd died far too young.

"Let that go for a bit," he said, "When's the last time you just sat and watched the water?"

"Years." When she and Ashley had been on Benning, after the war that had killed the man sitting next to her.

"Then...stay with me for a while. Try to relax."

"I'm not very good at that."

He chuckled. "I know."

And together, Emilia Shepard and Kaidan Alenko sat and watched the tide coming in.

Shepard woke slowly, to the beep of medical equipment and the stark light of a hospital room. For a moment she lay there, her side burning, and tried to remember how she'd gotten here. She remembered the fight, calling Vega. Remembered him getting her to lay down on the couch while he tried to stop the bleeding, saying again and again that he'd called the medics - more to reassure himself than her, she'd thought.

Everything after that was fuzzy.

"Hey."

She blinked and turned her head. Ashley was leaning against the wall, arms crossed and her expression troubled. She wasn't in her uniform - just some jeans and hoodie, her hair up in a messy bun, far from how put together she'd been at the trial.

"Hey-" she broke off coughing, her chest seizing painfully.

"Do you want some water or something?" Ashley said, as close to unsure as Shepard had seen her in a very long time. "The doctors said you might have a sore throat after surgery."

Surgery. Okay, that made sense.

"Please."

Ashley poured water from a pitcher on the bed's tray into a flimsy, plastic cup and then handed it to her. The silence between them as she sipped was leaden, Ash's arms crossed defensively across her chest. There had been a time where she'd go down to the SR1's cargo deck just to spend an hour talking to Ash.

Looking back, she was kind of impressed at her past self's ability to resolutely ignore her own feelings.

"Thanks," she said at last.

"No problem."

"I mean for - being here."

Ashley's expression became even more guarded somehow. "They weren't sure if you were going to make it."

"Ash-"

"Your mum called me, so I rushed over and sat with her."

They'd never met before Alchera. The thought of them meeting - grieving together - made something in Shepard's chest ache. "Where is she?"

"Getting coffee. The doctors didn't think you'd be awake yet, otherwise-" Ash cut herself off, pressing her lips together.

"Otherwise you'd be gone already," Shepard finished, surprised by her own bitterness.

Ash's eyes flashed. "You're gonna be angry about that? When you're-"

She cut herself off.

The anger was intoxicatingly simple compared to everything else she felt for Ash - the love, the grief, the desire. "If you have something to say, say it."

"Where should I start, huh?" Ash snapped, "You were always on about doing things the right way, and then all the things you've done since coming back - I just can't reconcile that with the you I thought I knew."

"I'm sorry," Shepard shot back caustically, "if I didn't live up to the pedestal you put me on."

"I put you on? Bullshit. I thought I knew you. Did you tell me what you thought I wanted to hear all those times?"

"What? Of course not-" Shepard pushed herself up and then gasped in pain, fire radiating up her torso.

Then Ash was there, pushing her back down, expression caught between worry and anger. "Don't be stupid."

Ash's hands were warm on her shoulders. Then she seemed to realise how close they were and abruptly retreated, crossing her arms.

"Ash," she began.

"This was a mistake. I'll just...go get Hannah."

"Wait," she burst out.

She was surprised when Ash did stop, glancing over at her. Something in her whiskey-brown eyes that might have been hope. Shepard wanted to tell her everything. How much she still loved and missed her.

But there was a good chance her near future involved prison - and Ash deserved better than all this.

"Thanks for coming." It felt awfully trite.

Ash shrugged half-heartedly. "Yeah."

For a long moment after Ashley left, Shepard stared at the door. Then she groaned and let her head thump against the pillow. What a fucking mess.

The door slid open again, and a plump Spainard with a puzzled look on his face strode in. "Mierda," Castillo said. "Ah, you are awake. Good. Staff Lieutenant Williams just brushed past me, in quite the hurry."

Shepard winced, "Yeah." The pain was a low, constant throb. She blinked a few times, trying to keep her thoughts clear. "Thanks for coming."

"Not at all," Castillo pulled the chair beside the bed back and lowered himself into it. "How are you feeling? Still a little groggy?"

"Sore," she said honestly, "and yeah, bit groggy. Anesthesia will do that to you. How long was I out?"

She unfortunately had a great deal of experience with surgery.

"Vega and the medics brought you in about 8 hours ago. You were sedated when the medics arrived, and then rushed into surgery. I'm sure the doctor will want to run through it with you in detail."

"Guessing the guy got a couple of important bits then," she said dryly, looking down at the sheet covering her bandaged torso. "Do not recommend."

Castillo chuckled. "I've done a good job at avoiding knives so far - better than you, anyway. I'll make sure I stay away from them."

He gave her a good once over, "I went to court this morning. If you're feeling up to it, I can give you an update, or do you want to wait until you feel a bit better?"

She rubbed her forehead and then nodded. "Now works, thanks. Sorry to give you more work."

Again, the lawyer chuckled. "Less, actually. Well, less for now." He lifted his hand and his omnitool sprang to life. His fingers danced over the holographic interface and a text document opened. "Espanol or English?"

"Espanol," she responded. Sometimes it was nice not to have to deal with the translators, and thankfully both she and Castillo spoke English and Spanish.

"Of course," he responded in Spanish, looking back to his omnitool. "My notes," he explained, glancing at Shepard. "Essentially, I was called by Admiral Anderson about zero five hundred and he told me. I came straight away, but you were still in surgery. When I appeared at court this morning, I had to tell Captain Chakir that you had been stabbed by your guard."

That must have been an interesting conversation. Shepard just nodded.

"He was surprised. However, Mr Vogt was not, so I imagine that he had been informed right away also. As soon as I was told about what had happened this morning…" He trailed off, clearly choosing his words carefully. "I prepared an argument to have this trial moved to Earth. Seattle-Vancouver, specifically, where the military court is. My concern was that there was some rogue element in the Masters-At-Arms, er, Division, posted in Arcturus Prosecution, of course, completely disagreed and we had an hour adjournment while he got instructions and prepared the argument."

Castillo's dark eyes darted left to right across his notes. "When His Honour had recalled the matter, Vogt begrudgingly consented to the matter being transferred to Earth." With an amused smile, he remarked, "I imagine his superiors kicked his ass about it. Anyway, your home detention bail agreement has been updated." With some flourish, he dragged a file and flicked it away. "I've just emailed it to you."

Shepard lifted her hand and keyed her omnitool - or at least the limited, blocked version she'd been given after her original one had been taken along with her amp - and skimmed it. House arrest still, just in Vancouver. "Seattle-Vancouver? Never been. Had a friend who was from there though…"

A friend she'd dreamt about for the first time in a while. The fading memory of sitting beside him on that bench left a lump in her throat.

Kaidan had talked about it sometimes, his parents' house overlooking the bay. She wondered how the Alenkos were doing. She'd written them a letter after Kaidan had died and they'd wanted to meet, talk about what had happened to him, but she'd never had the chance.

"Well, hopefully you can catch-up then," said Castillo, absentmindedly.

Well, Kaidan had been dead three years so that wasn't going to happen.

"Anyway, essentially, your bail agreement remains the same. The only difference is that we can call the matter on to insert your address in Seattle-Vancouver - when we know it. I'm sorting accommodation out right now as well. Otherwise, the conditions will be the same, so no wild parties unfortunately."

"I can live with that," she said mildly. "So long as the police guarding my door don't try to kill me again."

Castillo grimaced. "Yes, that was… less than ideal. But I understand that these will be separate guards from the ones who are posted to Arcturus, so they should have different…" Again, the lawyer paused, searching for the right words. "Biases," he settled on. "And inclinations."

"Here's hoping. So the whole thing - including the prosecution and judge - is just getting moved to Earth?" she asked.

"Yes, exactly." He shut his omnitool off. " I'm going back to court this afternoon to determine how long it should take. I need to speak to your doctor first though. You're not going to be in any shape to leave this hospital, let alone board a shuttle and sit in a courtroom all day. When it is called on when we get to Earth, the trial will pick up exactly from where we left off. Lieutenant Williams has finished her testimony." As an aside, he added, "I believe the next witness to be examined will be… Flight Lieutenant Moreau. Under subpoena."

"Joker," she smirked, "Vogt doesn't know what he's in for with him."

Castillo cocked an eyebrow. "Well, I will look forward to that." His expression shifted though and he began to look uncomfortable. "There is… one other matter."

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "Yeah?"

"Well… The man who attacked you - I doubt anyone has told you this… You killed him. He was pronounced dead when the medics arrived for you. From what I've heard, he… didn't have much of a chance."

Shepard tilted her head. She'd been angry but had she intended to kill him? The fight seemed fuzzy in her head. She hadn't wanted to die, and she was a N7. You hit your enemy until he stopped getting back up. "I see."

She wondered if Castillo expected shock or regret - but he wouldn't get it. She'd killed far too many people to feel much about it. He'd tried to kill her so she'd killed him.

Castillo's expression flashed concern, but only for a moment. "I had a brief chat with Commander Vogt on the way out this morning. The investigation isn't done yet, but… he wants to proceed with murder charges."

"Murder?" Shepard demanded, fists clenching in the thin hospital blanket, "He tried to fucking kill me!"

Castillo put a hand up, "I don't think he'll get up on murder - he had a knife for Christ's sake!" He said rather hastily. We'll run self-defence, but he might be able to get you on manslaughter for disproportionate force. The issue is, well, I'm not entirely familiar with the military court process, but he may be able to make an application for a joinder of this charge to the trial in progress."

"Fuck's sake," she pressed two fingers to the bridge of her noise. "Alright. Okay. Well, I know you'll do your best with that as well. If I get convicted of what I'm already on trial for it won't really matter anyway."

"Not the best silver lining," Castillo murmured. "I'll let you know how court goes this afternoon. That pretty much covers what I had to say. Any questions?"

"Will the NIS want to talk to me about the guy I killed?" she asked bluntly.

"Yes, they will. But I can be present when you do that. I'll set up a time - once you've recovered some."

"Thanks. I don't have any other questions right now."

"That's fine. If you do, you know how to reach me," he leaned back in the chair. "Would you like me to stay a while? No charge."

Shepard was surprised when her first instinct was to say yes. She didn't want to be alone.

She managed a smile. "I think my mum is gonna be here soon, but...thanks. I appreciate you coming by."

"Of course," he smiled, tapping the edge of her bed a couple of times, then stood. "As I said, you know how to reach me if you need anything - and if you have any preferences for accommodation in Seattle-Vancouver, let me know, okay?"

"Will do."

"There's my favourite patient." Chakwas announced, sweeping into the hospital room - past the two Masters-At-Arms, each wearing Naval Base Vancouver patches. Anderson had organised that swiftly.

Commodore Hannah Shepard was sitting on the chair beside Commander Shepard's bed, graying hair pulled back and her face lined with worry.

Shepard smiled. "Bullshit, Joker's your favourite patient."

"Very well. Second favourite patient."

"You like the pain in the asses, huh?"

"I would have left the military years ago if I didn't," she said, picking up Shepard's chart. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got stabbed a couple of times."

She shot the younger woman an unimpressed look. "The truth, if you will, Commander."

"Pain's a six," she admitted.

"I'm having some issues with hospital policy in regards to the amounts of drugs you require," Chakwas said, putting the chart back, "but I'll sort it out."

"I thought you were going back to the fleet?" Shepard asked.

"I happened to be on Arcturus for a conference and I'm familiar with your particular needs. I'm currently assigned to the naval base on the Citadel and will likely return there after you're discharged.." Hackett had asked her to come. A wily one, he was.

"Well...thanks for coming, Karin."

Chakwas patted Shepard's hand, avoiding the IV in the back of it, "Of course."

"Have you heard about - Joker? And the others."

"A little," she said, "Please hold still so I can do a scan." She tapped on her omnitool, bringing up the medscan app. A sheet of orange swept Shepard from head to toe. "Joker is on Earth, I believe, where they're retrofitting the Normandy." Shepard frowned at that and Karin suppressed a smile. Shepard was as possessive of the ship as Joker was, in her own way. "The ship 'VI' refused to take orders from anyone but you or Joker."

Shepard smirked at that. "I bet Joker's driving the drydock crew nuts."

"No doubt. I believe Donnelly, Daniels and Goldstein are being held here on Arcturus."

The smile slipped from Shepard's face at that. "They don't deserve that."

"Anderson seems to believe they're unlikely to see much jail time," Chakwas attempted to comfort her, though from her expression Shepard didn't find it particularly soothing.

She sighed. "I hope not."

"I hear they wish to move you to Earth," Chakwas continued, recording Shepard's obs in the holo chart. "But it will be a good two weeks before you're well enough to be flown there. I would prefer three, and six before they try and stick you back on trial, but I don't believe you'll get that much time."

Hannah scowled. "They're ignoring your medical advice?"

Chakwas sighed. "Another of the doctors here who operated on Shepard said three weeks should be sufficient, given how quickly her cybernetics are self-repairing. But you must take things slow, Commander. No heroics."

"Hard to do any heroics in house arrest," Shepard muttered.

"I'll have a rehab plan for you - and a diet-"

Shepard's eyebrows raised. "A diet?"

"Your cybernetics suffered damage along with - well, the rest of you. They draw on your body's energy stores to repair themselves."

She sighed. "Got it."

Chakwas patted her shoulder. "You'll be back to yagh punching shape in no time."

"Yagh punching?" Hannah raised an eyebrow in an expression very reminiscent of her daughter.

Shepard winced. "Don't worry about it."

"Mhm," Hannah sounded less than convinced.

"I need to have a look at your wounds now, Commander…"

Ashley leant against the railing, hands shoved into her hoodie's pocket, and stared out at the pinprick of stars and the slow glide of Alliance ships past the viewing deck.

"Lieutenant."

She flinched in surprise and turned.

Commodore Anderson, dressed in his utility uniform, joined her at the railing.

"Good afternoon, sir."

"How's Shepard?"

Ashley sighed. "Awake."

Hannah's call had woken her up at three am and she'd rushed over. The entire time Shepard had been in surgery, all she could think of was Shepard dying again, leaving her and Hannah to bury her again.

But when Shepard had woken up, they'd just started fighting again.

"She's tough."

Ash made a noncommittal noise. Shepard had been lucky from what Chakwas had said.

There was a steady stream of vessels past the viewing port. Two huge, lumbering troop transports, escorted by a handful of destroyers leaving the Navy's docks for the Arcturus Prime Relay. It reminded her of watching her dad's transport leaving, every time he deployed. Waving until it disappeared even though he couldn't see.

"Lotta ships moving today," she remarked.

"Yeah," Anderson followed her gaze, "Petrovsky's Sixth Infantry Division is deploying to Omega."

She blinked. "Omega?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Hackett and T'Loak made an agreement. We need troops there to support the research into Shepard's...gift."

The Reaper IFF and what lay beyond the Omega-4 Relay, left on an OSD for Ashley to find on her bedside table. The morning Shepard had left without saying goodbye for her suicide mission.

"Here's hoping we can trust T'Loak," she remarked. The Alliance in bed with Terminus warlords…

"No point having your own kingdom if everyone dies," he said with a shrug.

"True enough."

"How are you holding up?"

Ash shrugged half-heartedly. "I don't know."

"I understand."

Did he?

"Sure."

"I need your help," he admitted.

She glanced at him, confused. "You can just give me an order, sir."

"I know. But I'd rather I didn't have to. Not on this." He scratched his cheek, frowning at the troop transport floating sedately in front of them like it'd done him a personal wrong. "It's about Shepard."

What wasn't? "What about her?"

"The assassination attempt. I don't think it was Cerberus. I think it was the same people behind the attempt on Hackett's life."

Great. Their own people. "Fuck."

He smiled without humour. "Exactly. Cerberus knows her capabilities better than anyone."

In other words, they wouldn't have sent one baseline human with a knife to do it. "What does that have to do with me?"

"I need someone I trust to look into things. I'll have you reassigned as my aide. Shepard is being moved to Earth, so that's where we're going too."

Playing bodyguard for her ex-girlfriend. Alright then.

"Aye aye, sir."

CODEX ENTRY

Correspondence - Commander Emilia Shepard (undelivered):

From: Garrus Vakarian

To: Commander Emilia Shepard

Subj: Hard at Work

Shepard,,

I'm doing what I said I would. Back in uniform - and it feels really weird. The uniform and the whole being home part. The weirdest part is I told my dad everything. I think it was the longest conversation we've had in years.

The Hierarchy has given me a task force to prepare us for the Reapers. I don't know if they fully believe me or if they're just giving me something to do to keep me quiet but I'll take it.

I've watched a bit of the trial. I still don't get why humans get so hung up over soldiers sleeping together, but I know that must have been very difficult for you both. I also know that you've done your best, in Bahak and now. You're doing the right thing.

I don't know where we'll both be when this thing kicks off, but I know you'll be on the front lines. I'll meet you there.

Your friend,

Garrus

From: UNKNOWN

To: Commander Emilia Shepard

Subj: Hope you're happy

Girl scout,

You're such a fucking dickhead, I hope you know that. You went and convinced me that we were a crew, that I could trust you and then you went and pulled this crap. You've got some kind of hero complex.

I can't believe I'm considering doing what I'm thinking of doing. It's your fault too. You're gonna be so annoyingly smug about it when you find out.

I'm going to punch you next time we see each other. That's a promise, girl scout.

-Jack