* Chapter 1 *

[ Each reunion is a twist of the knife.

The joy is ephemeral; it leaves fear in its wake.

A fear that all too soon

The time will come when you must bid farewell again. ]

With a heavy sigh, she turned her head abruptly, gasping on the pillow, her eyes darting fast under her closed eyelids. Tiny tremors shook her lips, from which she suddenly let out a nervous moan as she gripped the sheets tightly, clawing at them with her nails.

Claire opened her eyes trying to focus her gaze on the gloomy room while she could still feel herself panting from the fury that had gripped her in the dream. Claire stayed still trying to calm her heartbeat, why the hell couldn't she calm down? Because Claire knew that this time, the dream was somehow different from the previous ones. It was a true other-worldly memory, sure it had happened to her before that she dreamed of her past life, as Serah called it, but never like this. It had never been so real, and most importantly she had never seen the face of someone other than her sister or her parents so clearly.

Claire pulled herself into a sitting position on the bed still trying to recover from her agitation.

Breathe, in and out.

In and out.

Claire put her hand on her chest, closing her eyes in a comforting gesture, and continued with her special mantra. Sometimes she had suffered from panic attacks in the past, quite often in fact, especially when she was younger, and could not explain the strange dreams she had.

When she finally managed to regain control she took a moment to analyze the situation. That's how Claire was, always attentive to details and cold calculator in every situation, she was convinced that her being a soldier in her other life had shaped her character to such an extent that it influenced her even in this new world. Claire opened her eyes again and focused on the dust moving in the faint rays of the newly rising sun that filtered through the shutters at the window. Somehow it reminded her of the slow, perpetual movement of white feathers swaying in the wind.

She decided to get up and moved quickly to the door of her room, barefoot she walked out into the cold and silent hallway and slipped into her sister's room next door. Sometimes it happened that they had the same dreams, that they saw the same images, and she had to know if her sister had shared it with her this time too. There was no way she was going back to sleep now anyway.

To her surprise, she had found Serah still asleep, her face covered by pink curls and her heavy and rhythmic breathing made it clear that she was not dreaming. Cautiously she crawled beside her, lifting the heavy blanket, and after a moment of hesitation decided to lightly shake her shoulder. She didn't like the idea of waking up earlier than usual but she really couldn't wait.

Serah opened her eyes slowly moaning in discontent but when she focused her gaze on Claire she pulled herself up worriedly.

" What happened? " Serah asked in an agitated whisper.

Claire shook her head and smiled, trying to reassure her. " A dream. "

The younger one sighed and went back to lying under the blanket, her face close enough to her sister's that she could feel her breath on her skin. " Tell me about it. "

" It was different this time, more real. "

" They're always real. " the other objected, raising her eyebrows.

She shook her head. " Not like that, there was something… it was like it was happening in that very moment. "

Serah stared at her silently urging her to continue and Claire recounted a cold, still, colorless place. Imposing stone buildings towered on a hill above the grey sea. Time did not exist and everything gave her the impression that even her breathing could stop. She wore shining silver armor and fought armed with a sword and surrounded by monsters. The cascade of white feathers that descended to her side swayed with her every movement. Claire didn't dwell on the battle, it had been far too realistic, fierce, and didn't want to agitate her further. Besides she hadn't been able to make out the features of the man she was fighting against. All she knew was that he was strong, terrible, and ruthless and that she felt frustrated and unsatisfied as she crossed swords with him.

Then she looked up and saw him, a boy was falling from the sky plummeting into the void. Claire had launched herself at him without hesitation and caught him in the nick of time. She had looked into his blue eyes and then… she had woken up.

" It's unbelievable. " Sarah said as she fell silent at the end of the story.

" You didn't see anything? "

Her sister shook her head, then stood up and opened the curtains revealing an already high sun. Someone knocked on the door to call them for breakfast, and they both decided to put off the rest of the conversation for later.

Although Claire wondered what else they could discuss, after all.

Something stirred inside her as she crossed the threshold and she couldn't explain why.

You are a terrible liar.

It's what you kept repeating to yourself for hours, years, centuries even. You thought you'd make it, that it would be easy, bearable, you deceived everyone with your lies.

Everyone expects yourself. You sight as you lower your hand giving up knocking on the door in front of you, losing that bit of courage you thought you had.

You are a coward as well as a liar.

You had started with the best intentions, of course, you just wanted to make sure they were okay. That they were alive, that they existed. It was never your intention to be seen, to interact with them, why would you do that? You are nobody to them now. You knew that when you made your choice.

You quickly turn around and walk out of the driveway of that adorable little townhouse with the white picket fence. It's a lovely town, you think, as you enjoy the warmth of the afternoon sun as you walk to the bus station. It's not a metropolis, it's even too small to be called a city, and being immersed in the countryside makes you feel a strange nostalgia. Nostalgia for something you never had, never will have. With your hands in your pockets, you inhale the aroma of jasmine flowers that invade every garden you pass, noting the bees flying here and there, and filling the silence of the street with their bussing and undaunted work.

You have always been a keen observer, a lover of nature, of sunsets, and curious about everything that concerned your surroundings. Even before, when you would look up at the sky at a planet glowing with green light and let yourself be taken aback by the wonder that it was your home.

The years had passed and that planet had taken the appearance of a turquoise crystal, almost mystical as it reflected the glow of the sun, until it disappeared forever, replaced by cold, gray metal as it loomed in a shaky sky of light and darkness.

Now if you look up, you can't see it anymore, it doesn't exist. I never existed in this sky. Sometimes it's so incredibly blue that you feared it wasn't real.

What if this is all fake? You ask yourself this a little too often for someone who is just seventeen years old. You are lost in your thoughts, and you almost don't realize you tripped over a woman until you feel yourself being grabbed by the arm to hold you back from falling.

You look at her surprised and she returns your gaze confused and absurdly concerned to be addressed to a stranger. You remain motionless, too shocked by that encounter - which you've been seeking all your life but had decided to avoid just minutes before - to even dare to breathe. She has incredibly pale green eyes and you can only imagine the sweetness of that gaze if she were your mother. But she isn't, not this time. She smiles at you and asks if you're okay, and her voice shakes you out of your distress. You thank her and smile briefly in response. You're fine, it's okay.

You need to be okay.

You are a terrible liar.

You turn around quickly because you can't look at her for one more second, you don't dare and you walk away at a quick pace. You can't linger now, you know it was a bad idea to look for her. But now you know she's fine, she seemed happy.

You hold back the tears that sting at the corner of your eyes, eager to make their way down your cheeks. You have a seven-hour drive before you get back to the Institute, you'll have all night to do it.

It was one of the hottest sunny spring days she could remember experiencing in her eleven years in the new world. They were on their way home from school late in the afternoon, side by side hand in hand. Although they had been reborn as twins in this life - albeit they retained the same appearance as in the past, the reason for this new status was still a mystery. They both knew it hadn't been like this before, and Claire had retained that protective, overwhelming sister air. Claire had always been the one to take care of Serah, she was the taller and the stronger of the two, and she had every intention of maintaining that role even though now only a few minutes separated them.

She looked up at her sister who was walking beside her, she was telling her how she had received praise from her history teacher for her report that she had worked so hard on for days. Since they had started middle school they had mutually agreed to be in separate classes, so they could have more friends and have lots to talk about when they were together.

Not that Claire put much effort into making friends, unlike Serah who was the sweetest, most adorable little girl in school that everyone couldn't wait to talk to. Besides, Claire didn't need friends when they were out there somewhere. She just needs to find them.

" Sis? Hey, are you listening? "

She reeled from her thoughts as a hand waved in front of her face and smiled briefly at her. " Oh, I'm sorry Serah. "

" Still worried about that dream? "

" Not really. " Claire said softly, and then she let out a weak sigh. Claire ran her free hand through her hair, down to the back of her neck, massaging just barely trying to relieve the tension. Claire felt tired and sore, the drama had left her with a strange feeling of agitation, and for the whole day, she had a feeling that something was going to happen.

Nothing happened, except for the fact that a strange little girl had tried to strike up a conversation with her several times throughout the day without her paying attention. What on earth had she said her name was? Ah, whatever.

However, all that restlessness had led to nothing but extreme fatigue, and now she felt as tired and tense as if she had been fighting monsters all day long. She knew full well what that felt like.

" Come on, don't think about it, Claire. I'm afraid it's pointless at this point. "

Claire nodded in agreement with Serah's words as she looked at her with slightly worried and apologetic eyes. Then she felt Serah's petite arms wrap around her own as her expression changed to what she called 'her evil self'. Eyebrows raised and mischievous smirk.

" What do you say we get some ice cream? One of those triple chocolate one. "

Claire sighed. " No, Serah, you know how mom feels about ice cream before dinner. "

And there, Serah's expression changed again to a pleading 'puppy look'. Big, wide eyes and curled lips. " Come on, please. She'll never know and you need this! "

Claire stopped and looked at her impassively for a few seconds. Oh, what the hell. Serah knows full well that look would annihilate anyone. She smiled resignedly " All right, but we'll split it. That means splitting the blame as well if we get caught, and not like the last time, got it? "

Serah began to hop around happily and dragged her vigorously to the end of the street until she reached the usual kiosk right before the beginning of the beach, where they often spent their afternoons. The small town they lived in wasn't as big as a metropolis, but it was warm and welcoming. The people are kind and friendly, and they lived just a few steps away from the sea exactly like in their previous life. Bodhum. Claire always thought it was some sign of destiny.

The small bar was run by an elderly gentleman with kind eyes and a cheerful smile. Many times her sister would manage to get a few extras from him thanks to her big blue eyes. Like that one occasion where an extra scoop of cream was placed on top of the already pile of ice cream.

Hmph, puppy eyes.

The man lingered on her for a few seconds too long before handing her a small, discrete cup of strawberry ice cream. He smiled sweetly at Claire as she accepted the gift embarrassed. Claire had never realized it until that moment but something about the kind old man seemed familiar, and she was surprised that, although Serah had always been the cheerful and sociable one he interacted with - he learned that she preferred smaller portions instead. And that her favorite flavor was strawberry. Claire thanked him with a nod and a shy smile and watching his expression soften even more.

As they walked out she set a reminder to herself to thank him properly the next time they came by.

They walked for a while on the beach enjoying their cold treats and then sat down in their favorite spot; a small hill that connected the shoreline to a small park with slides and swings hidden in the shade of the pine forest. The iron fence had been uprooted away in a storm many years ago and no one had repaired it since, leaving a clear passageway. Serah ran to sit on the swing that she had claimed as her own, so much so that she had written her initials on it with a felt-tip pen, even though they were not faded and could barely be read.

Claire remained motionless and suddenly that crazy feeling that had tormented her all day twist again in her stomach.

She noticed him at that instant, a little boy with brown hair playing alone in a corner of the gravel field just across the square. The sensation struck her instantly, a lightning bolt that made her heartbeat quicken and her eyes open wide in amazement, her breath catching.

Before Claire could stop herself, she reached him, followed by her sister's gaze, who remained motionless in her place, confused but strangely intrigued.

Hadn't she felt the same sensation?

Hadn't she felt what she was feeling?

Without hesitation, she placed a hand on his shoulder and in the exact moment he met his blue eyes she knew his name.

" … Noel? " her voice trembled with emotion but she was sure, she knew him, she knew him. He was one of them.

Noel peered at her silently for a moment longer, stared at her intently, and saw that spark cross his gaze like an electrostatic discharge. He reached out a hesitant hand to stroke her hair, she grasped it in hers, squeezing his cold fingers. Then Serah walked beside them in curiosity and Claire found herself smiling while Noel's blue eyes were filled with silent tears.

There it was, the spark that struck them both simultaneously. Her sister threw herself at him, holding him in her arms, and began to laugh happily when he said her name through desperate sobs.

They remained like that, Noel's face immersed in Serah's rosy curls, his body trembling from crying that could no longer be contained, his hand clasped in hers. They said nothing, no words were needed.

The first piece of the puzzle had finally been found.

Hello everyone!

First of all I have to thank my friend scarletchidori because as always, she translates this into English for me. He's really nice and patient with me, but we're very insecure, so if you've noticed any mistakes, please forgive us and report.

I hope you enjoyed this first chapter and any comment is good for me.

See you soon, stay safe and sound.