Chapter 1

Mom dropped us off for school. She told us that our sister Harmione had to take our nephew Bryan to the doctor. He had been having problems for a while and they suspect it might be his sugar. In the meantime Jesse and I were going to be freshman.

We were now in the same league as the big dogs of our school. It was the start of whole new outlook on life for us. I mean really it would be for me. Jesse's been acting strange since 6th grade graduation. We were 12 years old then.

I remember we were standing in line to enter the gym. I was standing behind Jesse because in alphabetical order my name comes second. And we were in the T's. It would be a little bit before we were called on stage. Everyone was there accept Harmione she went to the Plumber Academy, and was now working a double shift at the pizza place in town.

There were a couple of boys in line ahead of us. They were rough housing and one accidently pushed Jesse down.

"Sorry dude." He said and helped Jesse up. In that moment once they grabbed hands there was a change in my brother.

"No problem..." He said softly. He then cut the line and ran to the boys bathroom. I thought he was hurt so I followed him.

"Jesse, are you okay, those guys didn't hit you too hard did they?"

He then just burst into tears.

"Jesse!" What's wrong?!"

Jesse didn't cry a lot, but when he did I knew it was bad news. He took off his cap and gown and placed it on the sink. He then sat in the floor rocking himself. Something was seriously wrong.

"Bro..." I got on my knees near him, and wrapped him in a hug.

"Jesse talk to me."

"I can't!" He pushed me away and hit the wall with his fist.

"Sure you can, it's me your brother, your best friend remember?"

I gave him a smile.

"It's me, fun Just."

"No!"

"Why not?!"

"Because I can't!"

He got up and looked into mirror.

"Look at me Just...what's wrong with me?"

"Nothing...that I can see...Although Mom did tie your tie a little off center." I replied and tried to fix his tie for him.

"Stop...stop touching me!"

"Hey, what's your deal man, I'm only trying to help?!"

"I...Its not something I can tell you Justice...It's something I have to show you."

I was so confused. He put his graduation attire back on and took me to his locker.

"Hurry Jess, I think they're in the L's now."

Jesse got his locker open and took out a diary. I had never seen it before.

"Here..."

He then turned away. He began to bite his thumbnail. He couldn't even look at me.

The first few pages were from 4th grade and were boring. Like "Today I fought for a swing a recess." I flipped and found one from the start of 6th grade it read:

"Dear Diary, Harmione is deeply in love with a man named Charlie. The more he comes over the more I find myself drawn to him. I've recently started into the 6th grade and I've noticed changes in myself. It's not just Charlie. I've been looking at my classmates differently. More importantly the boys in my class. Dad explained to me and Justice of the hormonal changes we would face. I don't remember this being apart of it. I feel so disgusting. I feel like I'll never be able to overcome this."

I looked at Jesse. I then flipped a few pages and read more.

"Dear Diary, I'm scared. There is this boy in my class that I especially like. Everytime I get near him I feel things. Certain things Justice feels around the girls in our class. We've had late night discussions about it when we couldn't sleep, talking about girls and how they make us feel, and who is the hottest in our grade...I can't keep lying to Justice...I just don't feel what he does...I'm losing my mind, how can I tell him that I like guys."

I shut the diary and looked at my brother.

"You like guys, Jess?"

"I...I...I'm sorry!"

I dropped the diary and hugged him.

"Thanks for telling me...at least now I know why you're so quiet all the time when I talk about girls..."

He smiled shyly.

"It doesn't make you any different than me...if that's who you like, that's who you like...I just want you to be sure that, that's what you want."

"I...I don't know Just...It sort of hit me this year...after we all came back from the summer...all the guys in our class looked...I don't know I began to see them in a way I didn't see them before."

"And that's okay...just keep it between us for now... you know Mom doesn't want us dating until we're in high school...in fact she doesn't even want us to think about it."

"I know..."

"Let's just lay low for a while...okay?"

He sniffled.

"Okay...lets go into Jr. High together!

I put my arm around his neck. For two years it was like that. Us against the world. Our sister got married and we became Uncle's at the end of 8th grade. We were almost to that age that we could date. I think I was secretly hoping Jesse would grow out of his feelings, but I don't guess he ever did. On top of that he was getting bullied a lot because he made straight A's. I had to cheat off him a few times just to keep up my GPA to play soccer.

That's another thing too. He and I were supposed to play together. When he changed his mind and didn't even try out for the team, we stopped speaking. We act friendly at home, but when we hit the halls we go off in opposite directions. I'm afraid it's gonna be like that from now on.