A week has pass, I wish I had some process going. Except nothing has happened the city is quiet. No sign of Hawkmoth. I'm starting to have doubts about any Miraculous existing. I thought of searching for Master Fu. I've been searching online for him. I thought it be easy and simple. Nothing so far.
Due to my stress, I've been doing a lot of cleaning. I'm currently cleaning and organizing the storage room. I grab another box from the pile against the wall. I open it to see is full of macaroni art. The box before this one was finger paintings of the Eiffel Tower. Marinette's parents have kept everything she made through her school career. They also kept the first design sketches. As much as I'm willing to throw it all away. Marinette wouldn't do that. She would probably be embarrassed and happy her parents kept all her things.
This is just a clear reminder I'm not her. A bitter taste is left in my mouth. Lately I can't help but be envious of the love this family has. I close the box shoving it to the back of the pile. I'm keeping these boxes buried in the very back. I chew on my bottom lip, thinking of what to do next. The questions keep blaring down on me. Be Marinette, the main character everyone adores. The angel of the show. Except, I'm not sure I can be an angel.
I'm not used to be seeing as the king and loving persona. I'm more of the person who wants to be left alone. I want to be Marinette but I can't ignore myself. Maybe, when I'm Ladybug I can be Marinette. The idea has been swirling in my head to live as myself while in mask I'll be the perfect hero.
I rub the eyes forcing the tears back in. I wish I could go back to being me. I didn't realize how hard it would be to pretend to be an angel. Its tiring. I'm exhausted just by being home. I've been pushing myself to accept Marinette's parents as mine but so far, the opposite has happened. Their concern annoys me. Their constant questions are unnecessary. They also have added to my stress to the point my room is shiny. I'm not used to having someone hover over me. I'm not used to smiling so much. My throat hurts from using such a stinking cheery voice. I'm close to snapping at them. I don't have the right to complain since technically I'm dead.
I take a break from the boxes. I'm tempted to bring some of the pink in my room to the storage. I've been trying my hardest not to throw black paint all over the room. In my old life I was an emo kid. I had gotten my ears pierce three times; I was close to getting my tongue pierce. I fell in love with getting my hair died monthly. I look down at my clothes with a frown. Pink jeans with a frilly blouse. I miss my converse. I knew I would have to change. I just didn't realize at what extent.
I glance over to the sheet cover objects on the opposite side of the room. Some are obvious through the outline of the sheets. There's a dresser and a mirror. Judging by looks they might be worth a pretty penny. Her parents said it was fine to organize the boxes. They didn't mention anything about the rest of the stuff. Mind as well continue snooping around. I might find something useful.
I grab hold of one of the sheets. The one I couldn't figure out what is. It might just be a small statue guessing by the size. If its something worth a pretty penny I might sneak it into room. Money is useful in any situation. I pull the sheet down causing the dust to fly everywhere. I cough and wave my hand in front of my face.
My jaw drops open, I couldn't believe what stood there. I blink my eyes a couple of times then rub them. Nothing erases the image before me. I step out of the room. I go downstairs to the kitchen. Mom had said she be working on dinner.
I find her sitting on the kitchen counter drinking tea. Behind her are pans boiling on the stove. I blurt out the question without thinking. "Why do we have a gramophone?"
"It was something left by your great-grandfather. He received it as gift from his best friend during World War II." She responds surprise.
"Did he say anything else about it?" I ask, anxiously.
She ponders in thought for a minute before answering.
"I don't think so. Your dad knows more about it. You should ask him about it." She shrugs.
I don't hesitate to go down to the bakery. I haven't been there since my arrival. Surprisingly the bakery is empty. I caught sight of dad placing something into the oven. It feels awkward to be the one trying to talk to him. Usually, they've been trying to reach out to me.
"Hey dad," It feels weird to call him. "I was wondering, if you could tell me of the story of the gramophone, please?"
Dad slightly jumps at the sound of my voice. He slowly turns to me with great cautious. He wrings his hands on his apron.
"The Germans were about to take Paris. They were getting closer. Not having another choice my grandfather began to evacuate as many people as they could. The remaining of his comrades fought in hopes to gain more time for evacuation. One of them was his friend. He died taking a bullet for my grandpa. He gave him the gramophone and a book along with a promise to protect it no matter what."
I did my hardest not to reveal anything on my face. Master Fu is dead it might be a possibility. I could be jumping the gun to this. He might survive, it could also had been someone else. I know I'm only grasping at straws but if he really is gone. I'll be utterly alone with this weight on my shoulders.
"Do you know his friends name?" I ask.
He shakes his head no. "You grandpa barely spoke about it. The only thing he made clear is to keep it safe."
"What about the book?"
"Its in the living room if your curious to look at it."
"I'll check it out, thank you papa." I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
I went back up the stairs, ignoring the fact dad is staring at me. I really need to work on our relationship. Hopefully, I'll get used to this life soon enough.
I found the book in the coffee table. I open flipping it through the pages. One particular page catches my interest. The Ladybug drawing, a holder from the past. I flip the page to see Cat Noir. I shut the book making sure to put in my room.
I go back to the storage room to take a closer look at the gramophone. If I remember correctly there is a code in opening it. Which mean, I'm screw either way. I chew on my bottom lip staring at it. Maybe, they can come out?
"Hello?" I poke the side of the gramophone. "I know your there. You must be lonely from being lock away all this time. I want to help you, please."
I sit in front of the gramophone waiting for any sign of the Kwamis. I hug my knees to my chest; this might take a while. I stood up and went back to my old task of organizing the storage room.
Hours had pass it was already dinner time. No sign whatsoever of the Kwamis. Grim thoughts fill my head. I couldn't stop from feeling helpless.
I head to the kitchen where the parents were setting the table. I sit down in front of them already feeling awkward. No Kwamis would mean, no Ladybug. Do I really want to continue being cheery and kind Marinette?
The reality of the situation has shifted. A normal life is possible. I blurted out something I had been wanting to say.
"I'm not sure if being a fashion designer is my dream." I admit.
They didn't react the way I had anticipated.
"We figure dear." Mom pats my hand.
"How?" I question.
"I accidentally found the shirt you were trying to sow together." She admits with a chuckle.
My cheeks burn at the reminder of the hideous shirt I thought I could make. I had been working on in secret. I had even gone as far hiding all the band aids I used.
"I could tell you were having difficulty when you quit trying to get the magazines with the latest fashion." Dad states.
"I just don't feel the spark anymore." I explain.
"We understand honey."
They both smile at me. I feel as if the boulder has lightened a little. I still remember my dream from my past life. I can't let it go even when I have no right to pursue it. Marinette is clumsy and shy; she would never want to be a singer.
"I've been thinking, if possible, I like to go to school. But one where no one will know me." I stare down at my plate.
I dig my nails into my palm feeling the pressure of disappointing them. I hate to ever see it in their faces. I want to try to be myself at least outside of the house.
"That's a wonderful idea. We actually had been discussing it." Mom responds.
"We just didn't want to push you too hard." Dad reassures me.
I clear my throat in hopes my voice wouldn't crack. "I love to start possibly soon."
I need to get an idea of where exactly I stand educationally. I'm not an honor student. I'm the type that barely makes it. School was never my thing.
"You still have one more month until school starts. Focus on getting better, for now." Mom encourages.
"I will, thank you for dinner."
I get up to put my plate in the dishwasher. I grab a plate of cookies to take to my room. I hope the Kwamis aren't too picky about food. I get the feeling I'm forgetting something about the Kwamis diet. I'm positive they only eat sweets.
"Is it okay if I take the gramophone to my room?" I ask sheepishly.
"Go for it." Dad gives me a thumbs up.
I nod my head in thanks feeling too awkward to say it. I must have spoken more tonight than any other night since I got home. The both of them are looking at me with such love. I think they might even agree to let me rob a bank if I were to ask. I'm tempted to ask.
The gramophone is heavier than I originally assume. I took the stairs to my room, my feet trembling with each step. I place it on the computer desk. I look down to see my hands are cover in dirt. This thing most likely has never seeing soap.
I retreat a bucket from the kitchen with water and soap in it. I start working on making it shiny. I try not to think too hard on the fact the Kwamis could be in there. The mere thought triggers my anxiety to spike. I gently rub the rag against the dragons. The dirt is really in there. I rub harder in hopes to get most of the dirt off.
I jump in surprise as it makes a weird sound just as buttons appear. What in the world did I do? I stood up from the seat unsure what else could happen. This could be a trigger alarm.
"Come on, don't wuss out." I mumble to myself.
Buttons could also mean a code needs to be put in it. Only there is no markings of any kind on the buttons. I place my fingertip on one of them. I push down the button, the last one on the right. The dragons' eyes blink red twice a sound goes off.
Okay that's not it. I can't make too many guesses otherwise it might lock up permanently from me. I don't think the code was ever shown. I place my head into my hands. So close, only to be stop by a code.
I turn my head to the book I had left on my lounge. Please tell me Master Fu left instruction on unlocking the box. I open the book to the first page. I let out a grateful sigh to see a note written on the first page. The only downside is in Chinese. I grab my phone from the computer desk. I take a picture of note to translate it. Thank God, I'm such an otaku.
I stifle a groan, it's a love letter for his lover. I close the book in a huff. Master Fu, you could have written it in another place. You could have left a note on Kwamis or the code for the gramophone. I lean against the chair feeling utterly hopeless. Marinette got help from Master Fu. He was there to guide her, to prepare her as the next Guardian.
I got no Master Fu or a stinking sign I'm going on the right path. I'm alone in all this. I feel the tears build up. I've been fighting with myself to keep hope alive. When the truth is, I'm ordinary nothing supernatural about me. A sudden exhaustion hits me. I just want to sleep this entire day off. Maybe, tomorrow I can find Master Fu. He is alive out there. There is no way he could be dead. I place the plate cookies in front of the gramophone. Please, show me your there.
I crawl into bed not bothering to change into my pajamas. I snuggle into my blanket covering my head. For the first time in a long time, I dream about the beach. The last time I was there, I was five. It was also the beginning of the end of my little childhood happiness.
My dad held my hand as I played in the water the waves gently hitting me. My mom sat behind us reading a book. She would occasionally wave at us. She loved dad taking us out in his impulsive trips. He made sure to make days fun for us. He believed a day shouldn't be wasted away.
Our last trip had been to the aquarium. He kept saying he would be going on a long trip. He never tried to explain the Cancer slowly taking him from me. He didn't say it but the signs were clear. It started with him forgetting little things. Soon enough he needed help standing up. He couldn't do anything for himself.
Each day the Cancer took him little by little until there was nothing left. The Cancer didn't just take my dad. My mom put her all into my dad. She took care of him while I was left alone. That was around the time I started to see without my dad, my mom wouldn't care for me. The moment he passed away; I didn't hear about until I was out of school.
My neighbor had driven me home that day. I was ignorant about my neighbors looks. I just wanted to get home to see if my dad had recovered a little. I open the door to the apartment to see a broken woman. My mom sobs fill the apartment. She refused to let go of him, clinging to his corpse with all her might. I could feel her pain piercing my heart.
"He's gone, you have to let go." The paramedic kept telling her.
She refused to listen to him. She just sobbed until her throat went hoarse. A police office pulled me out of the apartment. He bought me ice cream from a nearby ice cream truck. I knew by the end of the day I had lost both my parents.
By Monday, mom accepted the promotion she had refused for the longest time. She knew it would mean time away from us, no from him. She didn't hesitate whatsoever to take it after only two days of mourning.
At the age six I became invisible to her. I never matter to her without dad. I cried for several nights for her. Feeling hopeful in getting her attention. I remember once I cut myself, it was a dumb thing to do. But I was starving for her attention. The neighbor had found me on the floor. She had come to get me for dinner. She freaked out more than anyone else. My own mother only said one line to me
"If you're going to do something stupid succeed next time. My time is too precious to be wasting on your childish tantrums."
Her words cut me worse than the razor blade I had used. My neighbor tried to defend me but her words fell on to deaf ears. My mom stayed long enough to sign my neighbor as my main guardian during my hospital stayed.
It was the last time I tried to get her attention. I kept to myself. I lived quietly without making a single sound. I made myself as small as I could. I didn't have a reason to kept going. I just repeated to myself my dads' words. Don't let a day be a waste. Unfortunately, I couldn't follow his advice. I lived as a shut in the only pleasure I had in my life is anime.
During weekends my neighbor paid me to watch her kid. She watched a show every day called Miraculous tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir. I didn't pay attention since I would be watching my own anime shows. I just thought of it as a childish show. Nothing, wonderful about it.
In honest truth it was because Ladybug is love by all in the show. She could do no wrong. She's the nicest person in the show. God, I hated her for it. While Cat Noir has a tough live an absent father, a dead mother, and being cage in his own home. The girl he loves won't even gave him a chance. She loves the masks he places in public. I understood him wanting to be a people pleaser. It gets you far.
It didn't work for me though. I made sure to keep a wall up. No one can come in. No one can hurt me. Except things have change. I have to play this role of the loving Marinette. Morning came arrive faster. I can sleep a little longer but I have to help with the bakery. I glance over at the digital clock behind me. Its six in the morning, the sun has barely risen. Any hopes of getting anymore sleep are gone. I sat up rubbing the sleep off my eyes. I climb down from my bed. I need coffee but first I need to go to the bathroom.
"Hey, do you think she's got any cheese, like camembert?" A mischievous voice questions.
"Hush, Plagg don't startle her." Another voice scowls.
I pause mid-step at the sound of the two voices. I slowly turn my head to see different types of Kwamis floating near my computer desk. I almost forgot how to breath for a minute there. I inhale a gulp of air forcing myself to stay conscious.
I open my mouth to talk but no words come out.
"I think she's going into shock." The small turtle comments.
"Hey, look were Kwamis. We have been waiting for someone to summon us. You did it last night with your magic. Also note this down I don't eat cookies. I prefer yummy, delicious, beautiful camembert." Plagg explains pointing his tiny paw at me the entire time.
"Um," I manage to say until the red Kwami speaks up.
"Plagg give her a minute you might frighten her. We need to explain things to her." Red Kwami argues.
"Tikki is right, we have finally been awakened after several years of slumber. She is to be our new Guardian per Master Fu's orders." Turtle Kwami explains.
"What's that now?" I question him.
"You're the new Guardian of the Miraculous congratulations. Now about my camembert cheese"
Okay I need to sit down. I pretty much wobble my way to the chair. Unfortunately, I don't make it as my world tilts to the side before going dark.