Isabella gave the disk to Ferb, and he raised a eyebrow when he saw which day's events they will be watching, causing her to blush. He put the disk in with a shrug and started the episode.
The DVD started, but instead of their cartoon versions, the screen showed a grown-up Candace. She was in her signature colors, but instead of actually fitting clothes, she's wearing baggy clothes.
"Why am I wearing clothes like that?" Candace asked.
"Maybe that's the fashion in the future?" Stacy said, grimacing at the thought. Those clothes were not at all flattering.
"Hey guys. Um, there's something I need to say before you start this video, especially to you Jeremy. I want you to do something for me." She took a deep breath as if to get courage. "Please don't be mad at Suzy after watching this."
"Oh no. I think I have an idea what we are going to watch now." Candace said, her face losing all color.
"I know this will seem strange but I want you to promise me that. What you see in this DVD might seem bad but we both have gotten over it already. Suzy and I are actually really good friends now."
She gave a final smile before looking at the cameraman. "I think that's good enough Ferb." The screen went blank.
A silence came to the group at future Candace's words. They shared glance between each other, not knowing why Candace would think Jeremy would be mad at his adorable little sister. All except Candace and Buford.
"Should I be worried?" Jeremy asked jokingly, but the joke fell short at Candace's pale and scared face.
The scene opens up, showing the Flynn-Fletcher house. Candace is in her room, talking to a banana as if it were a phone.
"Hello. Is this the Johnson residence? I'd like to speak to Jeremy Johnson. This is Candace Flynn. Why am I calling, you ask?" she quickly checks her notebook, where she has written a bunch of reasons for calling. "Because I have a question about our algebra assignment. Thank you, I'll hold. Okay, okay, let's see... opening jokes, opening jokes." She quickly flips the page where a lot of opening jokes are written. "Hey there, Jeremy! This is Candace Flynn. So what do you get when you cross a yak and a martian?"
The fireside girls started giggling to themselves, making Candace exasperated.
"Oh, like you gremlins never made plans to talk to your crush!"
"Honey, could I interrupt for just a sec?" Linda said of the screen.
"Why, Jeremy Johnson, did you just call me "Honey"?"
"No, Candace." Candace looks up to see Linda standing in her doorway.
Now the whole room started laughing.
"I just want to tell you I'm off to my book club. I left the phone number on the fridge in case of emergency. And Candace, honey..."
"Yes, Mom?" she asked, still holding the banana to her head.
"I hope you're not planning on talking to that banana all afternoon." Linda said as she left.
"Alright, that's enough giggling!"
Meanwhile, in the backyard, Phineas is wearing a mariachi hat and holding a stick while Perry watches.
"Ladies and Platypuses, introducing the latest party craze to sweep the nation: The amazing mariachi tree!" the screen pans to show a mariachi band sitting on the branches of the tree.
"Where did you get a mariachi band?" Vanessa asked.
"Ferb."
They start playing mariachi music with Ferb sitting in the highest branch with a trumpet. Ferb leans backward too much as he blows the trumpet, which makes him loses his balance, fall off and crash offscreen onto the other band members. Phineas winces and closes his eyes as Ferb and the members crash onto the ground groaning in pain.
"That might be the safest thing you have done so far." Linda sighed.
"I think the lesson here is never drink so much chocolate milk before planning our day's activity." Phineas says as the Mariachi band members leave. "Bye, guys. Sorry. Good work there, though. There's that smile, Arturo. Gracias."
"Hi, Phineas." Isabella said, walking towards them.
"Oh. Hi, Isabella."
"Whatcha do—" Isabella stops as she hiccups.
"Ohhhh, it's that day." Ginger said teasingly. She and the foreside girls had a lot of fun that day grilling Isabella about how her crush had done so much just to cure her hiccups.
"Are you okay?" Phineas asked.
"Yeah. I just came by to see whatcha do-" she hiccups "-ing."
"Wow. That's a bad case of hiccups you got there." Phineas said.
"I know. They're driving me crazy." Hiccup.
"Not to fear, Isabella. Ferb and I will help you cure your hiccups."
She hiccups again but smiles.
"Did you choose this day because you got Phineas to simp over you all day?" Gretchen asked Isabella.
"Noooo…"
"Hey, where's Perry?" Phineas asked.
Cut to Perry sneaking away. He goes near two trashcans and puts his hat on. He goes in a trashcan but a moment later comes back out with trash all over him. He goes into the other can that serves as the secret entrance. He lands in his chair with garbage falling around him.
"I wonder how many trashcans he accidentally gets into while trying to get to his lair." Jeremy thought out loud.
"Good morning, Agent P. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is on the move. We tracked him to these coordinates when we suddenly lost his signal." Major Monogram said, showing a map on the screen. "We have two scenarios to explain his disappearance. First, that magical elves have caused Dr. Doofenshmirtz to vanish to the land of angry corn people. The second, is that he may be on his secret, hideout-shaped island with the initial "D" carved into it that satellites found in the exact, spot, where he... vanished... uh,"
"Really? Really?"
Perry narrows his eyes, showing his disbelief at the organization's incompetence as Monogram starts getting flustered. "you know what? Uh, forget the magical elves thing. Way off base with that. Anyway, on your way, Agent P."
Perry gets on his platypus-shaped hovercar while music starts playing.
Doo be doo be doo ba (X4)
Perry!
"Oh, it's his theme song." Vanessa said, leaning in.
"No way! He actually has a theme song?"
He's a semi-aquatic, egg-laying mammal of action
Doo be doo be doo ba, doo be doo be doo ba
He's a furry little flatfoot, he'll never flinch from a fray-ay-ay!
He's got more than just mad skill, he's got a beaver tail and a bill
And the women swoon whenever they hear him say
(Perry chatters and the women faint around him.)
"There's no way that will happen." Candace said, causing Stacy to look at her in disbelief.
"That's the part you don't believe?"
He's Perry, Perry the Platypus!
Major Monogram: You can call him Agent P.
Perry!
Major Monogram: I said you can call him Agent P.
Agent P!
"That's surprisingly catchy." Ferb said. He and Phineas were actually vibing to the song and were even wondering if there was an extended version.
"Was he piloting a plane in that last shot?" Baljeet asked.
"Yes, Yes he was."
The screen cut back to the backyard.
"Okay, Isabella. The best way to cure the hiccups is to scare them away. So what scares you?" Phineas asked.
"Hmm..." Isabella hiccups while she thinks. "Well, there was this haunted house at the state fair-" Hiccups "that was pretty scary."
"Oh, I have a bad feeling about this." Linda said.
"That's it! Ferb and I are gonna make you the scariest haunted house ever!" an organ starts playing as Phineas gets more excited about his idea. "Zombies, werewolves, and ghosts, and vampires, and witches!"
Candace clears her throat at that exact moment from behind him.
"Oh, hey, Candace."
"Hey! Is that suppose to mean something?"
"I don't think so."
"Phineas! The only way you're building a haunted house in this backyard is over my dead body." Candace announced.
"That's the idea. Hah!" Phineas said in a deep voice.
"That's it, you little psycho! I'm calling Mom!" Candace runs inside the house and slams the door but then opens it and sticks her head out. "And I am not using the banana this time!" she slams the door again.
"You guys heard that, right? It wasn't just me?" Phineas asked after a pause.
"I was really confused when you said that."
"Build a haunted house, my foot!" Candace said from inside, taking the number left on the board by Linda. She calls the number and the phone starts dialing. "They're so busted. Yes, hello. This is an emergency. I'd like to speak with Linda Flynn. To whom am I presently speaking?"
"Uh, Jeremy, that's whom." Jeremy said from the other side.
"J-J-Jeremy?" Candace stammers, looking at the paper with the number. On it, the address shows book club at Johnson's. "Jeremy who?"
"Oh this is going to be amusing." Stacy said, eating her popcorn.
"Jeremy Johnson. My Mom's hosting a book club today, who is this?"
Candace immediately starts crumbling the paper next to the phone. "We seem to be breaking up. I-I'm going into a tunnel... Sunspots, I- ¡No habla español!"
The Dial tone sounds as she hangs up, and Candace covers her mouth in embarrassment.
"It's not that funny!" Candace said, taking offense to her family's laughter.
"Don't worry Candace." Jeremy consoled. "I thought it was kind of cute."
The screen cuts to:
Doofenshmirtz's hideout-shaped island!
Perry drops from a plane and glides to the roof with hand glides shaped in his tails shape.
"Perry knows how to hand glide?"
"You saw him pilot a plane in his theme song and this surprises you?"
His wings retract and he takes off his helmet, his fedora in place, and climbs in through a door in the roof, quickly hiding next to a crate. But just as he is looking around, he gets trapped by the crate.
"Perry the Platypus? HERE? How could this be? I'm shocked." Doofenshmirtz says exaggeratedly. He walks over to a map of the ocean with his hideout on it. "I mean, it would have taken a total evil mastermind to have guessed that you'd track me to this point, find the secret hide-out, glide in under the radar and infiltrate through this access vent, make your way over to this crate, activating my automatic arm and leg restraints." He said showing his plan to trap him in picture form.
"Either Perry's really predictable or Dr. D is actually a genius." Milly said.
"It's neither." Vanessa said, not bothering to explain any further.
"Right here? This is the part where I get all sarcastic and pretend you surprise me. "OH, PERRY THE PLATYPUS?! HOW? WHAT THE? WHO THE? WHY THE..." Oh! ...Finally ending here, where I finish showing you my brilliant plan." He said, showing a picture of his present self standing next to the board, going on and on.
"Did he have to make so many paper board?" Baljeet asked, seeing the waste of paper.
"He likes to be extra."
"You see Perry the Platypus, this secret hideout doesn't actually belong to me. It belonged to my mentor, Professor Destructicon," dramatic music plays. "Kevin, to his friends. Sadly, he was just captured in the midst of his latest plan to set fire to the sun!"
"Please don't tell me your dad actually plan to continue that plan."
"Redundant, perhaps. But before they locked him away, Kevin asked a favor of me: To prevent them from discovering his hidden lair and all its secrets, would I please SET FIRE TO THE SUN! I was like, dude, you really got to let that one go, it's a ball of fire! It makes no sense."
Baljeet let out a sigh of relief. He was glad his future science teacher was not a total idiot.
"So he asked me instead to simply destroy his hide-out, which I will now do, using my new Disintivaporator." Nothing happens at his reveal so clears his throat and dramatic music plays. "And you, Perry the Platypus, will now be disintevaporated along with it!" He said and laughs maniacally.
"What!"
"Don't worry Phineas. Perry is still here and he's alright."
The scene cuts back to Candace.
"Okay, just breathe and relax." She dials the number again and sighs. "Let's try this again. Hi. Uh, Linda Flynn, please. But if she's too busy, uh, then maybe there's someone else who can deliver her a message. Maybe someone in their teens!"
"Smooth Candace."
"Uh, who is this?" A female voice said.
"This is Candace. Candace Flynn. And who is this?"
"I'm Suzy, Jeremy's little sister." Suzy said cutely.
A shrill scream was heard.
"Buford stop screaming!"
"Well, it is such a pleasure to meet you on the—"
"You called for Jeremy, didn't you?" Suzy asked, cutting Candace off
" Jeremy? Oh, no, no, no, no, no." Candace said, slightly panicking.
"You say you want your Mom, but you really want Jeremy. Isn't that right?" Suzy said, her cuteness turning to creepiness.
"Um, what's going on?" Jeremy asked, confused.
"That's not true."
"I'm sorry," Suzy said, crinkling a paper. "We seem to be breaking up."
"Stop crinkling paper! I know that trick!"
"Bye bye."
"Wait, wait, wait! It's true. I want to speak to Jeremy." Candace finally relented.
"I thought so. Jeremy, some girl's on the phone for you!" Suzy yelled out before turning back to the phone. "But never, ever forget, I am, and always will be Jeremy's favorite girl. Got it?"
"Mmm-hmm. Yes." Candace mumbled out, scared.
"Oh my god." Vanessa said. That girl is terrifying. Jeremy also wasn't sure what he's supposed to make of this. He'll just have to wait till this episode is over to ask Candace.
"I got it, my favorite girl." Jeremy said to Suzy, taking the call. "Jeremy here."
"Jeremy!" Candace gasps.
"Candace?"
"You figured that out very quick." Stacy said.
"I was used to Candace screaming my name and running away in the hallways."
"Uh, yeah, yeah, it's me." She said, giggling.
"Hey, you know, your mom's over here for the book club." He said.
"Oh, yeah. Well, I just have this silly question to ask her." She said, acting all ditzy.
"Well, they're breaking for coffee. Wanna come over? We can hang out." He said.
Candace covers the phone's receiver and screams, which is heard by Phineas and Ferb while they are signing for the supplies.
"That was great, Ferb. But you should really save those screams for later, when the house is up and running." Phineas said.
Candace huffed while the room went into laughter again.
"Uh, I- I mean, sure." Candace said into the phone.
"Cool. See you in about 20 minutes?" Jeremy says and hangs up.
Candace smiles and immediately faints.
"Real smooth."
"Oh shut up."
Cut back to Destructicon's hideout.
"Now I'll just load up a few things that Professor Destructicon let me store here." Doofenshmirtz said, packing his thinks in a purple jet with his logo. "If there's one thing Kevin understood, it was closet space. Now, I'll just, uh, grab my keys to the escape jet, and, uh..." He searches his labcoat only to come up empty. "Hmm. I could've sworn I put them in my lab coat. Oh, they're probably over here on the computer console...no."
Perry looks down at his feet to see a key with a dog keychain. He puts his feet on top of it to hide it from Doofenshmirtz.
"Most of Perry's missions seem to work on luck." Holly said.
"Well, you know what they say. It's 10% luck, 20% skill –"
"Yeah yeah, everyone knows the song." Candace interrupted before Phineas could burst into song.
"Ah, the kitchen. Hello? Keys?" he laughs a little nervously and turns to Perry. "This is a little bit awkward, but have you seen my escape jet keys?" Perry nods in response. "What? You have? Well, that's great! Where are they?" Perry turns his head away, refusing to tell him. "You won't tell me? Is this because you don't speak, or are you just being a jerk?"
"In his defense, you are trying to disintivaporate him, Dr.D."
Cut to Candace in a room with clothes spilled all over the floor while Phineas and Ferb can be seen through the window, carrying things for their project.
"Oh, I can't believe it. I'm finally going to Jeremy's house. Okay, now, what would the perfect look be?" Candace asks herself before she gasps. "I know: "Girl next door meets pop diva meets Hollywood bad girl crossed with an old school glamor goddess"! Now I just gotta find the finishing touch."
"I'm not even going to ask." Vanessa said.
She later goes outside dressed in a white t-shirt with a red flower on it, brown boots, a long green scarf, designer bootcut jeans with no back pockets, a white belt with a gold buckle, and her bike helmet. "Hey, boys! I'm off to the Johnson's book club. Jeremy invited me over." She said, not giving notice to the faint ax Ferb is sharpening.
"Uh, when you see Mom, could you tell her some snakes got lost in the house?" Phineas asked holding Frankenstein's monster's head in a glass container.
"Snakes?!"
"Don't worry mom. We got them all before you came home."
Candace stares as the blade sharpener stops. "Okay! You boys have fun. See ya!" She said happily, not really registering the request.
"Really Candace?"
"It's not like it would have made a difference, mom!"
Just as she left, Baljeet, Buford, and the Fireside girls come into the backyard. "Okay, troops. Thanks for coming on such short notice. Buford, I know this is cutting into your canasta game."
"This better be good, pointy." Buford threatened, hitting his palm to his fist.
"Oh, it is. Isabella has been cursed..." Everyone gasps before Phineas continue. "...with hiccups!" Everyone groans in annoyance at Phineas's drama.
"You're such a drama queen Phineas."
"Worse case I've ever seen. We're building this haunted house to scare the hiccups out of her. To do so, we must dig deep into those terrible places any sane man shoves into the darkest, twisted corners of his mind. Each of you must find out what scares you the most."
"That was really creepy Phineas." Jeremy said.
"Thanks!"
"Not sure I meant it as a compliment."
"As you can see, today we're building a haunted house, electronically controlled by this giant organ." He said showing the organ to the gang. "Every room is monitored on these screens. And by playing the keys..." He plays the organ, flinging Ferb, who was sitting on a jack in the box, into the roof of the haunted house.
"Ferb!"
"I was okay."
"...I can trigger all sorts of surprises. So with your help, my friends, we can build this house with enough horror to destroy the involuntary contraction" Ferb comes out of the house, stumbling slightly. "of Isabella's diaphragm muscle once and for all!" the gang applause. "Oh, there you are, Ferb. Okay, people," Ferb faints, and the camera closes in on Phineas. "let's get our scare on."
Cut back to:
Doofenshmirtz's mentor's hideout!
"Am I getting warmer? Hmm? Aha! The sofa. My keys fell between the cushions, right?" Doofenshmirtz asks, checking under the sofa cushions. "Uh, no. Oh, come on! I defeated you fair and square, Perry the Platypus! Why can't you accept your death with dignity and maturity and play "You're getting hot and cold" with me?"
"That's how you show maturity?"
"My dad wouldn't exactly be the right person to look for maturity."
"Fine, be that way. I'll find my keys myself and teach you the meaning of grace under fire." The Disintivaporator countdown beeps. "Please! I'll do anything! Oh, for the love of Great Caesar's ghost, what would you have me do?" Doofenshmirtz begs and Perry smiles coyly.
"He's enjoying that a little too much." Phineas said with a smile.
Candace agreed, but for completely different reasons. "I knew he was a little shit."
"Candace!"
"What, mom?"
The Disintivaporator beeps again to show some time has passed. Doof is then seen balancing plates on poles while standing on a ball, but he then falls off.
"He's definitely enjoying it." Ferb said while everyone else laughed at the scene.
Skip to Candace cycling along the road as flowers, rainbows, and butterflies appear around her.
La, la, la, la, la (X2)
Yeah
Who's that girl going down the street?
It's Candace (Candace)
She's the girl next door who's a pop diva by day and a Hollywood bad girl by night crossed with an old school glamour goddess I'd like to meet
"It needs a little work." Lawrence said.
It's Candace (Candace)
La, la, la, la, la (X2)
La, la, la, la
As Candace stops in front of Johnson's house, Suzy with her poodle in hand smiles evilly from inside, looking through the window. She opens the door and points to Candace as she bends over to take off her helmet. Her poodle then charges at Candace and bites her on the butt.
"Candace, did this actually happen?" Jeremy asked, not able to keep it in anymore.
"Um, maybe?"
Candace screams in pain. "Oh, help somebody! Oh, get it off me! These are designer jeans!" She turns and sees Suzy near the sprinkler handle. "Wait, what are you doing?"
Suzy turns the handle turning on the sprinklers and getting Candace wet and her hair soggy. "No, no! Ah! My hair! Help! No—" Candace slips and falls in the mud. "Huh?"
Suzy laughs maniacally as she makes her toy truck spray mud all over Candace's face and hair. "Ahh! Why are you doing this to me?" Candace cries while Suzy continues laughing maniacally.
"Oh god!" Linda said, horrified for her daughter.
"Candace, why didn't you ever tell me about this?"
"Umm…"
"Suzy? What's going on out here?" Jeremy asked from inside. He comes out and sees Candace lying in the mud with the poodle still biting at her jeans. "Candace?"
"Oh, uh, hi, Jeremy." Candace said from the mud.
"Upsies!" Suzy said to Jeremy, causing Candace distress.
"Wait, no! Don't pick her up! She's evil! Evil! Can't you see? She's out to get me! She did this to me!"
"What are you talking about? Little Suzy wouldn't hurt a fly." Jeremy laughs, not believing her words.
Suzy giggled. "Ba-ba."
"Oh. I guess you did tell me after all."
"Y-yeah."
"No! She's trying to get rid of me! Can't you see? I can't take it!" Candace cries in distress.
"Wait, Candace!"
"No! If you can't see it, I should leave while I still have a shred of dignity left." Candace puts on her helmet, with the poodle now biting it, and rides away sad.
"Candace, come back!" Jeremy said but Suzy just waved happily.
"Bye bye."
"Don't worry Candace. I'll talk to Suzy about it."
"No! Wait! Don't! If you talk to Suzy then she'll think it's me who told you! And it technically is since my future self showed you. And then Suzy will hate me even more and she'll make you break up with me and-"
"Candace relax. I'm not going to break up with you. But I'm also not going to let her continue to bully you. Okay?"
"…Okay."
Back in the Flynn-Fletcher house, Isabella walks into the backyard. "Hi, Phineas. Whatcha do... Ph-Phineas?" She hiccups and sees the haunted house and bats flying over it. A shadow falls on her, and she sees something that makes her scream in utter terror. The screen fades to black.
"What just happened?" Linda asked. Phineas gave her a creepy smile, lighting a torch under his face.
"The horror begins!"
to be continued~