Disclaimer: Same thing
The next day, Ivy and Ryan were drinking coffee while Harley was pulling off a hist in Russia.
"You think Harley pulled off stealing the warhead" Ivy asked.
Before the Assassination could answer they saw their friend return home cover in dirt and twigs while her hair was a mess.
"That would be a no..." Ryan said.
"I need a fucking crew" Harley said.
"You need a shower" Ivy said.
"So I'm guessing you didn't get the war head?" Ryan asked.
"You could've helped me ya know" Harley said to her childhood friend.
"And I told you ahead of time I had a doctor's appointment..." Ryan groaned.
"The only reason Joker stole it because he has a crew like all super villains" Harley said.
"I get by just fine on my own" Ivy said.
"Says the woman who can control all plant life." Ryan said.
"Oh can it Ryan" Ivy said. "What I'm saying all great supervillains work alone I mean look at this guy" Harley and Ryan looked at the tv and saw Wonder Woman fighting against Dr. Pyscho.
"Pyscho? That little crazy midget?" Ryan said "I threw him about 2 miles last year." The Three friends kept watching the fight until Wonder Woman threw Pyscho into a street light.
"That really hurt you C*nt" Pyshco yelled Everyone at the scene as well as Ivy, Harley and Ryan all had surprised looks on their faces.
"Did he just say what I think he said?" Ryan asked
"Yep" Ivy said.
"See if he had a crew they would've told him to use the B word instead" Harley said "And if I had one I would blackmail Gotham into naming a highway after me"
"A highway?" Ryan asked "Well, I guess you gotta start somewhere."
Later that night Harley and Ryan went out to a bar to find themselves a crew.
"Hey!" Harley shouted as she walked on the bar. "Are you tired of being a side kick? Abused? Shit on? Then come work for me and my Partner Ryan here. You'll get top dollar, great benefits and so much more. Join us and we'll be doing million dollar heists in no time." However everyone in the bar declined to help which pissed Ryan off.
"Chicken shits" Ryan said as he and Harley sat at the bar and Ordered some drinks. However when they sat down they saw Physico sitting next to them.
"Before you open your mouths there is no way in hell I'm working for you two." Psycho said.
"Who the fuck was asking you shrimp?" Ryan said
"Well sir I don't know who was." The bartender said "I'm just a simple farm boy from Oklahoma."
"What's your problem weirdo?" Harley asked completely confused.
"Well ma'am I have no problem because I'm actually" The bartender spun around and revealed himself to be Clayface. "The name is Clayface"
"Yeah we got that..." Ryan said while he, Harley and Pyshco were covered in clay.
"I thought you were playing the part of literal piece of shit" Psycho said
"No" Clayface spun around and turned into Psycho. "Now I'm a literal piece of shit"
"That's actually funny" Ryan said laughing.
The next day Ryan was eating his breakfast while Harley was ranting about how hard it was to get a crew.
"What are we doing wrong Ryan?" she asked
"Harley I mean this in the most respectable way. It's because you're a woman.
"What!?" Harley yelled.
"Hear me out" Ryan said "They are tolerated as long as they don't get too powerful. I don't feel that way but a lot of guys do. Have you ever heard of The Queen of Fables?"
"No, not really" Harley said.
"Well, back in the 80's there was this powerful sorceress known as the Queen of Fables. She could bring characters from fairy tales to life. When she was fed up with being a foot note to the other male villains she turned Gotham into an evil forest then she had an whole army at her command."
"What happened to her?" Harley asked
"Let's go ask her" Ryan said.
Later Harley and Ryan went to "Taxes 4 Free" clinic and walked into the Queen of Fables office.
"Um hello?" Harley called out "We're looking for the Queen of Fables"
"You just found her honey" The friends looked down and saw a talking book smoking a cigarette.
"Whoa, talk about not judging a book by it's cover" Ryan said.
"Very funny" The Queen said "Now what y'all want? I got twenty minutes until my next appointment."
"Hi, my name is Harley Quinn" Harley introduced. "And this is my business partner Ryan. We're kinda new super villains and I was told to ask what happened to you"
"Alright buckle up you two, it's story time" The Queen said. "So there I was with my crew, a bunch of dumb storybook the heroes showed up and by the time they took out my crew they punished me by trapping me in this book for all eternity."
"Wow, I actually didn't know that part of the story Miss Fables" Ryan said.
"I'm just saying kiddos you can be as big as you want as long as you don't get bigger than them" Fables said.
Later Ryan and Harley went back to Ivy's apartment.
"Sorry she didn't give you the advice you wanted Harley" Ryan said.
"Did you bring me there be you don't believe in me?" Harley asked.
"No, I brought you there because I believe in you" Ryan said. "I just wanted you to know what we're up against because I care about you a lot and I don't want yo you to end up like Fables"
"Ryan..." Harley said as she hugged her friend then he returned the hug. "Thanks for you're concern but I just got an idea. we shouldn't be looking for people who believe in us, we need to find people no one believes in"
"Oh boy..." Ryan sighed
"Later the two friends went back to Noonan's bar to talked to Doctor Pyscho.
"So I was thinking you could join our crew" Harley suggested which made Psycho laugh.
"Join you two?" Pyscho asked. "I'm in the big league Momma, The Legion Of Doom. Hard pass.
"You might wanna rethink that" Ryan said as Lex Luthor appeared on tv.
"We cannot condone Dr. Pyscho's actions of the C word. as it does not represent our Leigon of evil. We here by banish him from the Leigon Of Doom entirely "
"Did I say hard pass? because I meant to say accept" Pyscho said.
"That's what we thought" Ryan said with a smug smile.
"Whoo-whoo, the salty language that comes out of your mouth" Clayface said as a southern bar tender. "I'm just glad my momma ain't around to hear it"
"Even Clayface thinks you're a peice of shit. But I believe in you" Harley said.
"He doesn't" Pyscho said pointing to Ryan.
"If it were up to me I would've thrown you into Canada by now" Ryan said drinking a glass of whiskey.
"It sounds like you will also be requiring the assistance of...Clayface" Clayface said turning back to normal.
"You're damn right I do" Harley said "You ,me, Ryan and Pyshco. This is gonna be the start of something big" The for villains clinked their glasses together and drank to their new partnership.
"So what's our first scheme?" Pyscho asked "Is it a nuke in a volcano?"
"How about petty personal vendettas? Harley asked.
Later the crew made their way to Maxie Zeus's mansion.
"Ok we're gonna steal this asshole's gold medal and anything else we can get our hands on" Harley said as they hid behind a bush. "Ok here's the plan. Me, Ryan and Pyscho will enter through the back, find his loot and clean him out. Clayface you disguise yourself as the mail man to distract him"
"What do we know about this mail man?" Clayface asked "What are his dreams, his fears?"
"Nobody fucking cares just turn into a mail man and distract him" Ryan growled
"Oh I get it you want me to do improvise" Clayface said as he walked up to the door.
"Ugh, this is why I have zero tolerance for stupidity..." Ryan said as he Harley and Pyscho went around back.
"Ok now who do you need me to mind control?" Pyscho asked.
"No one" Harley replied "Just crawl through the crawl space and open it from the inside"
"Are you shitting me!?" Pyscho exclaimed. 'I'm a genius telepath, why are you wasting me on this?"
"Because you're the only one small enough to fit" Harley said.
"Son of a bitch!" Pyscho said crawling into the crawl space.
"Why did we recruit him again?" Ryan asked.
"Hey, can you think of someone better?" Harley asked
"Yes, literally anyone" Ryan said.
Later the three villains entered Zeus's bedroom where he had a bunch of naked statues of himself.
"Oh god I'm gonna be sick..." Ryan said as his face turned green.
"And you guys say I'm an egomaniac" Pyscho said.
"Yeah this looks about right" Harley said as they walked up to Zeus's bed.
"Where the fuck does he keep those stupid medals?" Psycho asked.
"Easy, he says he literally sleeps on a pile of gold" Ryan said as he threw the bed to the side a revealed a safe. "Jackpot"
"Ok, let's get Clayface and get out here" Harley said as she and the other's grabbed the medals and tiptoed around looking for Clayface. But when they found he looked like Quasimodo.
"What the hell?" Pyscho said
"Oh fuck, he must be onto him" Ryan said.
"Son, you are the spitting image of your mother" Zeus said.
"I'm so glad you think that daddy Zeus" Clayface said "It's just so sad she suffered from a speech impediment"
"Oh you lying peice of shit!" Zeus roared. "Did you really think I'd fall for this!?"
"Perhaps?" Clayface said as Zeus grabbed him by his shirt.
"Who do you work for monstrosity!?" Zeus demanded. "Joker!?"
"Oh hell no you didn't" Harley said getting angry.
"Tell me who you work for creature, or the next blow will be the killing one" Zeus threatened.
"He works for us you oily bitch!" Harley yelled as Zeus turned to her.
"Well, if it isn't the girl I wouldn't have sex with" Zeus lied.
"More liked she dodged a nasty bullet pal" Ryan said making the fake god growl as Harley jumped down to him.
"You said no woman could ever get a crew of bad guys, well guess what? I didn't just get one. I got three of the worst."
"You call that a crew?" Zeus laughed. "A midget, a mud slide and a wannabe?"
"Ok that's it!" Ryan said as he delivered multiple punches to the fake god's face while Harley kept hitting him with a bat.
"Now I'm giving you one chance to say Harley and Ryan's crew ain't nothing to fuck with"
"Ok ok I'll say it" Zeus said.
"Oh I know you will" Ryan said as he delivered one final punch which knocked Zeus out completely.
The morning after Ivy, Ryan and Harley were watching the news and it showed Zeus being knocked out on his statue.
"Mr. Zeus, can you tell us who did this to you? The Reporter asked.
"All I can say is Harley Quinn''s nd Ryan Archer's crew ain't nothing to fuck with" Zeus said
"Sounds like Harley Quinn and Ryan Archer have teamed up and formed a new partnership"
"Holy shit guys you did it" Ivy said.
"Eh, it was all Harley's idea" Ryan said "I'm proud of you Harles"
"We did it together...Partner" Harley said while Ryan smiled.
"This partnership has reporter wondering if this is a business partnership or has Harley Quinn found herself a new lover?" The report asked as she showed a fake picture of Harley and Ryan kissing each other which made the two blush while Ivy laughed at their expense.
HARLEY AND RYAN FINALLY GAVE THEIR OWN CREW AND ARE STARTING TO MAKE A NAME FOR THEMSELVES. BUT IS THIS PARTNERSHIP BUSINESS OR PLEASURE? FIND OUT ON THE NEXT CHAPTER HARLEY QUINN: PARTNERS IN CRIME!
A/N: I'm sorry for the lack of updates but please dodge pming about when new ones are coming or I will block you. I work on chapters when I get the chance. thank you.