Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Sirius Black & Regulus Black (platonic)

Summary: Regulus loves his brother more than anything. It isn't his fault that Sirius doesn't feel the same.

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Regulus is six-years-old when he finds out that his brother didn't love his family.

He has been acting strange lately, lingering with their mother whenever she talked to them. At first, Reggie doesn't think much of it because their mother often asks for them to stick close to her. She didn't want the filthy mudbloods touching them, after all. It is only five days later when father catches Sirius trying to set her closet on fire in the middle of the night that reveal his true intentions. Mother and Father had been very disappointed in Sirius, so he was taken away from Reggie for a few days. He thinks that his older brother deserved it.

Regulus is ten-years-old when he notices that his brother is ashamed of their family.

He is in Gryffindor now, and his mother has been crying her eyes out for days since the letter reached them. It is not a month later do they get another letter than stating that Sirius has turned the entire Great Hall- and its occupants- rainbow. She looks a little prouder about that, until she reads that he was accompanied by three other first years- James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. A blood traitor, a half-blood and an almost-squib. She is writing a howler to Sirius before his father can finish reading the rest of the letter.

Regulus is eleven-years-old when he starts Hogwarts.

He is boarding the Hogwarts Express with his brother, and tries to move to the farthest cabins- where mother says the better wizards are, but Sirius is already leading him to one of the loudest cabins on the train, inside of which are three other third-year Gryffindors- who introduce themselves as James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew. He is appalled at first, being in close proximity to such lesser beings, but James is funny and boisterous, Remus is sweet and kind, while Peter is cheerful and lousy, so Reggie can't say that he minds. When he is later sorted into Slytherin, he tries to look at his brother over his hunched shoulders and tries to ignore the things he feels when he sees the look of disappointment on Sirius' face.

Regulus is fourteen-years-old when he realises how cruel Sirius is.

He is meeting his friend and classmate, Severus Snape, in the infirmary one morning and finds out that his brother is responsible for the older Slytherin's current situation. His hand is bandaged and a sickly paste is rubbed into the side of his face. Remus Lupin is lying unconscious from not to far away, where he now knows also lies a werewolf, and disgust is creeping into him. James Potter has his left leg in a cast and is currently talking to his brother, a completely one-sided conversation with Sirius keeping his head down. Later, the mudblood Evans runs in and shouts at Potter and Sirius, when Regulus realises that his brother and all of his friends had been involved.

(The end of the year is near, and Regulus notices that they seemed to like ruining friendships as well.)

Regulus is fifteen when Sirius runs away.

He cannot bring himself to look at his bro- to look at Sirius at Hogwarts. Whenever they run into each other in the hallway, or make eye contact in the Great Hall, anger is all that is in him and he runs away- before he can do something he'll regret. Before he can break thei- his mother's heart even more.

(Before he can let Sirius see how he can still affect his younger brother.)

Regulus is seventeen when his parents want him to get the Dark Mark.

Of course, he agrees because he cares for his mother. (Unlike Sirius, who still makes her cry at night.) His mother seems to find a hobby in comparing him to Sirius- sometimes as praise and sometimes as insult. He doesn't like it, but he doesn't tell her that. He loves her too much to let her know. The dark mark is pain- more so than he has ever felt before- but he bares it with as little screams as he can manage, for his mother and father are looking at him with a look that he could pass off as pride. It makes his heart soar despite the pain. Maybe, following the Dark Lord isn't so bad.

Regulus is too old when he finally understands.

He should have gone with Sirius. He should have gone against his family. He should have not taken that godforsaken dark mark. He should have done better. He could have been better. But he wasn't brave like Sirius or strong like Andromeda. He was… tired and scared and worried and nervous. But there was one thing he was sure about: the Dark Lord needed to be stopped. He has already prepared for the task, but he still doubts this decision. He doesn't know what to do- because for once, his mother and father aren't there beside him. For once, he would change everything- to at least try and change what he had done wrong.

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I stare at the world,
it is a creation of my faults,
and I watch it fall.