When Ginny's away for work, Harry's home alone with his daughter. When she starts her period, a clueless Harry enlists a surprising expert to help him. Lily's only mildly scarred by the talk.
"The Curse of the Monthlies"
Harry had been managing just fine for the past two days without Ginny. He made sure he was home from work at a decent time every night so that he could pick Lily up at school, made a healthy dinner, and fed the animals. He managed homework, dinner, and bedtime at a decent hour and even had Teddy and Victoire over for dinner one night. He made sure to check in with Albus and James nightly at Hogwarts on the mirrors to make sure they were doing all right.
He couldn't deny he missed his wife. She went to Holyhead to cover some sort of Harpies scandal involving two players who were suspended for fighting over a wizard, and two rookies had been substituted in. Ginny pulled in long hours covering not only the scandal but the practices for the rookies and it seemed silly to book Portkeys every night when she'd only get home late and need to be up so early the next morning.
Harry eased into his chair in the parlor, a new book entitled Deadly Defenses in his lap. He kicked up feet on the coffee table and grabbed his tea off the table. They had already had dinner and he had helped Lily with her homework before she ran upstairs to call Roxanne on the mirror. Without Ginny to talk to, he finally decided to open the book he received last Christmas from Hermione.
Harry was halfway through chapter one when he heard footsteps on the stairs.
"Daddy?" Lily's little voice asked.
Harry looked up at his eleven-year-old daughter. There were tears in her eyes, her arms wrapped around her stomach. Harry jumped up immediately, tossing his book onto the coffee table and crossing the room.
"What's wrong? Are you all right?"
"When's Mum going to be home?"
Harry stilled, his brows furrowing as he placed his hands on Lily's shoulders. She was so tiny for her age that he worried about her starting Hogwarts in a few months.
"Not until tomorrow," he replied. "What's wrong? I can help."
Tears threatened to fall off her lashes. "I want Mum."
Harry felt a teeny tiny stab of jealousy. He had always been the one that Lily would run to when she needed anything. Homework help? Harry. Scraped her knee? Harry. Wanted a sandwich? Harry. Wanted to go for a fly? Harry. It has always been him. He couldn't fathom why Lily was so adamant that she didn't want him for once.
"I can help," Harry insisted.
"Not with this," Lily said miserably.
"Lils…" Harry trailed off, sighing. "Let me try."
Lily blinked once. Twice. Three times. Another tear leaked from the corner of her eye.
"I got my period!" she blurted out. "I don't know where the stuff is or how to even use it and my stomach hurts and I just want Mum!"
Harry winced. He knew where Ginny kept the supplies, had seen the boxes stacked neatly under the sink in the master bathroom. She had a little box in the downstairs bath filled with some as well. He sucked in a breath. He could do this. If he could give the sex talk three times to the boys, he could surely show Lily where the tampons were and give her a pain potion.
"Let's go upstairs," he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and steering her towards the stairs.
When they arrived in the master bathroom, Harry gestured for Lily to sit on the toilet. He crouched down and opened up the cupboard under Ginny's side of the sink. There was a box labeled liners and three different boxes of tampons. He pulled them all out and sat them on the sink and gestured towards them. He grinned. He did it.
Lily looked up at him and then at the four boxes he presented.
"What am I supposed to do with them?" Lily asked in a small voice.
"You, err, put it… in," Harry said with a grimace.
"How?" Lily asked as she plucked a green wrapped tampon from a box labeled super sport.
"You unwrap it and… you… um…" Harry squinted at her behind his glasses. "Do you want me to grab Aunt Hermione?"
Lily looked relieved. "Yes, please."
"All right. Stay right there. I'll be right back!"
Harry rushed out of the bathroom and took the stairs two at a time. When he entered the parlor, he made a beeline to the fireplace and grabbed more than enough Floo Powder and readied the fireplace. He crouched down and stuck his head inside.
"Hermione!" Harry shouted. "Hermione, I need you more now than I have ever needed you in my entire life! HERMIONE!"
"Why the bloody hell are you screeching for my wife?" Ron snapped, walking into his parlor.
"I need Hermione."
"Well, she's not home."
"Is Rose home?"
"No, she's at Hogwarts, remember?"
Harry suppressed a groan. "All right. Is your mum home? Do you know?"
"Why? I'm here and willing to help!" Ron protested, looking rather offended.
"Ginny's in Holyhead until tomorrow night and Lily started her period," Harry explained. "I haven't the foggiest idea of how to answer her questions. She asked how to put in a tampon. I just-"
"I'm coming through. Move," Ron said.
"Like you know more than me!"
"I have a teenage daughter!" Ron exclaimed. "I've seen and heard it all. Let me through! My niece needs me!"
Harry rolled his eyes and pulled his head out of the fire. He stood up and waited impatiently for Ron to come through. He should have gone to Grimmauld Place and asked for Victoire. She would have been a better option than Ron.
Ron stepped through the fireplace a few moments later. He asked where Lily was and Harry gestured upstairs. When Harry walked in with Ron in tow, she looked positively mortified.
"Aunt Hermione wasn't home," Harry explained as Ron looked at the different boxes on the counter.
"So you brought Uncle Ron?" Lily asked, her eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
"All right, so your mum uses tampons. Have you ever seen a tampon?" Ron asked as he pulled a little yellow one from the box and ripped open the wrapper.
"Yes! No! I don't know!" Lily screeched, her wide eyes filling with tears again. "Can we get Grandmum?"
"No, you're fine. I got this," Ron commented. "Now, this is what is called an applicator."
Lily buried her head in her hands, her neck flushing a bright red.
"Eyes on me, Lily! I'm going to show you what to do!" Ron said, snapping his fingers.
Lily looked up, her glasses foggy by her nose and her eyes pleading to make it all stop.
"These are the nice ones. They're not compact so you don't have to click it in place," Ron explained. "Hermione likes the compact ones. I say one less step is always better."
"Daddy!" Lily groaned.
"How the bloody hell do you know this?" Harry demanded, not sure if he should be amazed or not.
"I listen to my wife when she talks, Harry," Ron replied. "Might do you some good sometime."
"Ginny's never talked about her period before!" Harry protested, feeling the heat ride up his neck and ears. "If she did, I would listen!"
"All right, Lily, you… insert this and then you push this little handle like so," Ron explained and pushed the handle up and the tampon burst free. "It's like a flower blooming!"
"Then what?" Lily asked.
"What do you mean?" Ron asked.
"The flower bursts free and the applicator… does it… fall out?" Lily asked.
"No, you pull it out," Ron answered.
"But won't the… the tampon fall out?" Lily let out a sob. "Can we please get Grandmum?"
Ron waved his hand, tugging the applicator off the tampon and tossing it into the sink. "This stays in until you pull it out by this nifty little string."
"Okay…" Lily said, uncertainty in her voice.
"Now, what's your flow like?"
"What?" Lily exclaimed.
"Your flow level! I need to know how your flow level is in order to tell you what tampon to use! Super means it's really heavy and regular means like a normal flow."
"I don't know!" Lily shouted, her voice high and squeaky. "Blood! Is that a flow?"
Harry winced. "Lily, do you want me to see if Victoire is home?"
"No! Just have Uncle Ron leave, Daddy, please, make it stop!" Lily pleaded.
"Thank you, Ron, for all the help, but I think I got it from here," Harry said, slapping Ron on the shoulder. "Just do the regular, Lils. Your mum can explain it better to you tomorrow."
"Are you sure you're good, Lily?" Ron asked. "Rose has pads if that'll make you more comfortable. I can go grab them."
"I'm good, Uncle Ron, thanks," Lily said as she peered into the boxes on the counter.
"Anytime. Call me if you need anything else. Your dad is clueless," Ron said with a smile before he started towards the door.
"Wait!" Lily called with a blush as Ron paused and looked at her. "What's the liner for?"
Ron grinned and explained as Harry just shook his head at the information. When he was done explaining, they gave Lily privacy as he walked Ron to the fireplace before making a pit stop in the kitchen to grab a mild pain potion and a tin of chocolate biscuits.
Lily met him in his bedroom as she shifted awkwardly and grimaced. He handed her the pain potion and the two of them ate biscuits in bed, talking about everything and anything that didn't involve periods.
A couple of hours later, Lily announced she was going to bed. Harry carried all the boxes of supplies to the hall bath and told her to keep them. He pulled Lily against his chest and kissed her on top of her messy red head.
"If you need me, come get me, all right?" Harry whispered. "I can get you another pain potion or if you just want to talk or… have questions."
Lily smiled. "I think Uncle Ron covered it pretty well."
Harry returned the smile. "I love you, Lils. Your mum will be home tomorrow."
"I'm good! Thanks, Dad! Love you!"
Harry broke away from the embrace and watched Lily skip into her bedroom. He went downstairs to make sure the house was secure before grabbing his book and mirror from the parlor and then made his way up to bed.
He paused outside of Lily's door when he heard her voice.
"No, Albus! You don't understand! Uncle Ron! Legit out of all of our family members, he brought Uncle Ron! It was mortifying!" Lily shouted.
"I think it's nice that your dad didn't come home empty handed!" Scorpius replied.
"Lily, is this really why you mirror called us? Seriously? Over your bloody period?" Albus replied, obviously annoyed.
"No pun intended!" Scorpius said gleefully.
Harry chuckled as he walked towards his bedroom. He had tried to get someone other than Ron but he had forced his way through and wanted to save the day.
When Harry settled into bed, he opened his book with a sigh. It could have gone better but Lily was fine and educated even if she was slightly mentally scarred. Harry couldn't help but smile. Of course, Ron came through for him in a pinch, just like he always had. Somethings never change.
His mirror sounded from his bedside table. He eagerly grabbed it and saw Ginny's happy yet exhausted face shining brightly at him. He couldn't keep the smile off his face as he answered the call.
"Harry!" Ginny said in a relieved tone. "I miss you."
"I miss you too," Harry replied.
"Long day?"
"Long evening," Harry confirmed. "Lily will probably want to have a long chat with you when you get home."
Ginny's brows furrowed. "Why? What happened? Is she all right?"
"She got her period," Harry explained. "It's fine. I handled it."
"By handling it, I'm assuming you ran to Hermione."
Harry sucked in a breath. "No, I handled it. I got her a pain potion and then showed her where the stuff was. How tampons work was explained."
Ginny looked skeptical. "Really?"
"Yeah, like it's hard?" Harry replied. "You just push the little handle thing up and boom. Done."
"Harry…"
"I told her just to use regular ones until you could explain more about the, err, the, the flow."
"Who helped you?" Ginny pressed, her eyes sparkling.
A beat passed.
"Ron."
"Ron?" Ginny practically shouted. "Are you bloody mental?"
"Look, he was surprisingly knowledgeable and he explained it all and Lily's only mildly scarred."
Ginny shook her head. "Oh, my poor little Lily. I could only imagine. You must be knackered from the sheer panic of being in an awkward position."
Harry chuckled. "You have no idea. When she asked me what to do with a tampon, I thought I was going to faint."
"Poor baby," Ginny said in a mock-sympathetic voice. "Look at you, already in bed. I wish I was in bed with you."
"I would like that very much," Harry agreed. "Tomorrow. You and I have a date in this bed. Naked attire is required."
Ginny laughed, her face scrunching up and her freckles smushing together in a way that always made him smile at how adorable she looked. "It's been horrible for you the past few days, hasn't it? No wife to ravage at night."
"My hand doesn't quite do the trick like it used to," Harry replied. "Just not as satisfying when I have to do it myself."
"Well, if you're tired of using your own hand, I suppose me using mine while you watch in the mirror is out of the question then?"
Harry blinked. Merlin, it had been ages since they'd done anything like that. Ginny's eyes were twinkling at him and when the mirror floated above her head, she trailed a finger down her chest and tugged her vest down so he could see the lace of her bra.
"Have I told you how amazing you are lately?" Harry asked.
"Yes, I'm awesome, now take off your pants."
Harry reached for his wand on his bedside table. He quickly charmed the mirror to float
in front of him before tossing his wand to Ginny's side of the bed. He bit his lip, his hips raising so he could get completely naked.
"You're a tease," he said, his voice husky. "Take. It. Off."
"Oh, this little thing? I suppose I could get a bit more comfortable."
She smirked at him before hauling the vest over her head. Leaning back in the bed, she lounged in just her bra as she shimmied something off her lower half that Harry couldn't see.
"It's been a long time since we've done this," Ginny commented.
"That's okay," Harry said as he gripped himself. "I like it in person better."
"I don't know, Potter, adds to the fun sometimes," Ginny said with a wink.
Harry grinned as Ginny went into detail of all the naughty things she was going to do to him tomorrow night. Harry threw his head back, listening to her sultry tone and watching as she played with herself. When he finished, he laid sprawled on the bed and looked at his wife through heavy eyes.
"You're amazing," he whispered, his chest heaving.
"I know," she said with a small shrug. "Why don't you get some rest? I'm going to try to get out of here as quickly as I can tomorrow."
"I love you," he said, his hand carding through his hair.
"I love you more."
The connection was cut before Harry could protest. He snatched the mirror and placed it on his bedside table. He crawled under the covers, ready for Ginny to arrive back home and slip back into their domestic routine. He could handle things without her, but everything was just better with Ginny home.
I hope you enjoyed this little one-shot. It was a prompt I received from my Tumblr (seriouslysam8) that I couldn't resist but write! Don't forget to leave a little review, especially if you want some more one-shots from me! They're a great break and mind-cleanser while writing massive multi-chaptered stories!
Thanks to Bell for editing. Thanks to Brie for bouncing around ideas.