Title: Diplomacy, Prologue
Fandom: Naruto, post time-slip
Rating: Mish
Archive: No archives unless I put them there myself, no MSTings.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters I write about in fanfiction. I'm only a little bitter about it.
This is a VERY old fic, first published when the manga was around issue 380. Sequel to Vessel, which you should probably read for this to make any sense.
Diplomacy: Prologue
It had all gone bad fast.
It happened that way on missions sometimes.
Especially missions that ventured near the Hidden Village of the Leaf.
Had to be karma, really. One of the Akatsuki members fighting just outside the village had murdered dozens of people here a decade so or earlier. Whenever a mission sent Uchiha Itachi too close to his former home, things just went wrong.
Rarely this wrong, though. It seemed as if the entire village had mobilized against them. Successfully. And there was another complication, the complication that brought the mission to the cusp of ruin and would shove them over it if they didn't get out of here now.
A large clay bird with swept-back wings sped through narrow, twisting alleys. Sharp turns tilted the bird nearly vertical, exerting strong forces on the two figures crouched on the back. With the ease of long experience they adjusted silently to the bird's spiraling acrobatics. Their flight was punctuated with explosions, some from tag-enhanced kunai and shuriken bursting around their heads, more in back of them as the man in front molded his own versions of bombs and scattered them along their path. Soon most explosions were behind rather than around them. The second man breathed a sigh of relief before tugging urgently on the cape of the first. "We should—" he started.
The other man turned his head, blond hair streaming behind him as he snarled, "I know, okay, just shut up!" The bird shot silently into the sky, wingtips skimming over the rooftops. The second man tugged again, pointing towards a fire in the forest towards the east side of Konoha. The one in front nodded curtly, banking the bird so that it glided in that direction.
When they passed over one rooftop, however, the man in front suddenly looked down. Hair covered part of his face so that his expression could not be completely read, although one visible blue eye was wide with shock. "Hang on," he said, so quietly it was less than a whisper. His partner knew what that meant, digging in with his knees and clenching his fingers into the clay of the bird's back for purchase. Hardly had he done so when the bird looped backwards. They were briefly upside down before the bird leveled out, landing on the flat roof. The man flashed a hand signal to his partner — stay — and jumped off the clay mount, alighting silently. Racing to the edge of the roof, he disappeared over it.
There was a brief pause in which a person might count to five before the other man hopped off the bird as well. Running to the building's edge, he peered over. Below him, on a balcony, the darkened silhouette of his partner could barely be seen, pressed against a glass door, hands cupped to the side of his head as if to help him see inside. One hand dropped to silently flick the latch open.
The man watching was puzzled. They had the scroll they required from the Hokage's tower, they had successfully eluded capture, they needed to hook up with Itachi and Kisame now or risk losing their prize (and perhaps risk losing Itachi as well, since he was being tracked by someone who really, really wanted him dead). What could be here that would make his partner abort their escape?
He dropped to the balcony just as the door slid open and his partner darted inside.
The apartment, although darkened, was not empty. There was a startled sound of surprise, a metallic clash of kunai crashing against each other before his partner rushed through the room's occupant, bodies careening together before smashing to a halt against the far wall. "You," gasped a voice he didn't recognize, void of fear and rich with wonder, female he realized although that didn't matter, she was enemy and there was something his partner wanted in here, which meant she had to be eliminated. Kunai appeared in each of his hands as he willed his partner to move so he could aid in the attack.
His partner was not moving. He had her pinned, one hand holding both hers over her head, the other visible and pale against her clothed abdomen, fingers spread and … caressing?
Behind a mask that was all-encompassing, eyebrows shot up.
Well, this was new…
The blond head dropped as shadowed profiles merged into one.
In spite of his irritation with his partner for this extracurricular activity, the man watching winced. Molesting an enemy ninja was stupid under any circumstances, and kissing one likethat was a good way to lose a tongue. Moreover, it was so far out of character he wondered if his partner had been replaced by someone else's oversexed shadow clone. This was a man who would destroy an entire village without blinking but who wouldn't assault a woman even under orders to do so.
The woman's hands were released as the embrace tightened, arms sliding around her shoulders and waist, pressure forcing her closer into his body. The kunai were brought up, ready to throw through slight gaps, but rather than use her newfound freedom to attack, the woman's fingers twined through his partner's hair and around the back of the neck, helping him deepen the kiss.
…All right, now this was just weird …
Tilting his head to the side, he asked in a tone of innocent curiosity, voice a childish sing-song, "Deidara has a girlfriend?"
"GAH!" yelped Deidara. He whirled around, awkward because the woman was still in his arms. They staggered together comically, refusing to let go of one another. "Gods, can't I just once kiss you without a freakin' audience!?"
"Thank you, but Tobi doesn't want to kiss Deidara."
"Not you, you moron, I wasn't talking to you!" sputtered Deidara. The woman he held started giggling. "Dammit," Deidara grumbled before releasing her. "Gotta fly, sorry."
"I'm needed at the hospital," said the woman agreeably enough. "I should have known all the explosions were your doing."
Deidara snorted. "We were ambushed, okay? Not my fault, honest."
"I'll have to report your being here," she said, more seriously.
"Whatever," grumbled Deidara, glaring at Tobi. "Hardly a secret now." He leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. "Come with?"
She sighed. "No. Get going."
"Are you going to get into trouble?" Deidara asked her earnestly. "Should I knock you out?"
"My master will be annoyed if I fight two S-class criminals, and they need me at the hospital so I will be extremely angry if you knock me out."
"Hmm, you angry is bad, agreed," Deidara said in amusement. He brought a hand up between them and tapped her lightly on the nose. "Careful. Some serious stuff happening tonight. Stay away from it." Her gaze sharpened. Shaking his head, Deidara refused to say more. Grabbing Tobi by a fold of his cloak, he dragged the other man out to the balcony, muttering crossly under his breath the entire time.
"Deidara does have a girlfriend?" asked Tobi again as they jumped to the roof, his tone far less childish than before.
Deidara didn't notice, mouth tight and angry as he got onto his clay mount. "Be quiet and hop on before I leave you here."
"Don't be mad at Tobi. Deidara should time his dates better."
Deidara chuckled dryly, no amusement in the sound, as the bird lifted off. "Tell me about it," he grumbled.
"Tobi just did."
"Just. Shut. Up."
They resumed their journey towards the fire which might (so Tobi noticed) be better termed a conflagration now.
Obviously something had gone wrong with the back-up squad as well. There were many bodies. When he let loose with his various fire techniques, Uchiha Itachi was more destructive than the most uncontrolled forces of nature.
"Man," Deidara grumbled as they flew low to the forest floor, flying through flames as he trusted the beating wings of his bird to keep the worst of the fire from them, "she's gonna be pissed."
"There, there," shouted Tobi, pointing. Kisame's chakra was like a beacon, leading them into the worst of the flames.
"I know! Hang on!" Pulling up the high neck of his Akatsuki cloak as far as it would go, Deidara ducked his head. They ripped through an especially fierce wall of flames near its apex. It was unnaturally high, towering over the treetops, and flickered with unearthly red highlights at its base. The Konoha ANBU were being held at bay by it. Tobi could sense many chakra signatures nearby, while on the other side there were only two.
The clay bird pulled up and hovered near the crown of a spreading oak. Looking completely out of place within the slender branches, a large male waved a hand. His round eyes could be seen over the edge of his cloak, eerily reflecting the shifting colors of the fire. "Hey, guys," he said, completely casual.
"Hebi's here," said Deidara tersely.
Kisame shrugged. "Yeah, we had a tussle with that swordsman wannabe of theirs. New shade of lipstick for you?"
Startled, Deidara raised a hand halfway to his mouth before he realized the trap. Dropping it, he glared at his comrade.
Laughing, Kisame asked slyly, "And how is sweet little Sakura tonight?"
There was a rustle, and suddenly Uchiha Itachi was sitting at his ease in the branches, appearing as if he had been lazing there for hours. "You're late because you visited Sakura?" There was no reproach in his voice; if it held any emotion at all, it might, just might, have been very mild interest.
"No, I'm late because your idiot brother ambushed us when we were leaving the Tower, okay?" snapped Deidara. "He alerted every freakin' shinobi in the village, which is why you have ANBU surrounding you. We had to seriously improvise to get out of there!"
"My foolish little brother possesses no subtlety," agreed the Uchiha placidly.
"And burning down half the forest is ever so subtle." Kisame smirked at the impassive Itachi before turning back to Deidara and Tobi. "You have what we came for?"
"Yeah. Get on, we need to get out of here before something else goes wrong, okay?"
"Aw, cranky because you didn't have enough quality time with the missus?"
"Shut up," muttered Deidara flatly, looking embarrassed.
Tobi asked, very carefully, "Deidara's girlfriend's name is Sakura?"
(And inside a cold and calculating mind, pieces to a puzzle that had been bothersome for months slid into place with a final-sounding 'click'.)
There was a sudden silence. Kisame was visibly surprised, as if he had forgotten Tobi's presence. Itachi, however, gazed at the masked Akatsuki member steadily with a slight downward flick of the brows.
"I never said her name," grumbled Deidara, hunching his shoulders defensively.
"You never do," remarked the Uchiha, still regarding Tobi with that unnerving stare.
"Common name," grunted Kisame, gaze cast to the side. For someone so good with words, he was very not glib when caught off guard.
"No it isn't," Tobi responded, his tone so normal that Deidara twisted around to glance at him in surprise.
"Unimportant," said the Uchiha abruptly. "We have the Leader's scroll; the sealing ceremony for the jinchuuriki can commence." He stepped onto the back of Deidara's clay mount, maneuvering so he sat behind Tobi. Kisame stepped on more gingerly. He was a big guy; this was one of Deidara's built-for-speed models with a narrow back and slender wings. There wasn't a lot of room for someone of his bulk.
Right as they lifted up a wall of water nearly as high as the Uchiha's flames rose, crashing into the fire and smothering parts of it with a series of sibilant noises too violent to be termed 'hisses.' Kisame, recognizing the technique, chuckled and raised his sword in a salute to the unseen ninja that instigated it. Deidara coaxed as much speed out of his overcrowded mount as he could without knocking Kisame off; he had fought the other Uchiha in his mutated form before and was trying to look in all directions for anything humanoid with wings. Tobi was uncharacteristically silent. While Itachi's silence was characteristic, his red gaze remained on the back of the masked Akatsuki's neck. The expression within those dangerous eyes would have frozen the most ruthless Kage's blood.