Linka sighed, "Welp. Better hide those. The linen closet can work. Hope no one is doing anything there."
The street child walked to the closet, checking for anybody. As much as she appreciated Loni buying the gifts, she's not wearing those. The adopted girl might like them more. Though I'll be a long time if the girl is a baby. Whatever she hides them, the boys better not ask about the clothes. What makes them think she would wear?
She stopped when she heard muffled chuckling... Almost devious.
"Oh boy," she thought before she continued walking, except slower and by toe. Linka leaned her ear closer to the door and heard the chuckling.
"Come in. Come in whenever you are, girl." the voice was high. Higher than one would expect beneath muffled whisper. With some giggling behind. This made her think of one person...
"Boo!" Lane popped out of the closet in a high jump, with water going out of his shirt flower.
"Ha! Gotcha sucker!" Lane bursted into laughing. But when he opened his eyes, all he saw was an unamused Linka staring at him and a wet hallway carpet.
"That's it? A pop out of nowhere and a squirt flower? You think that would scare me?" Linka deadpanned.
"Wait, how did you see me?" Lane asked.
"Heard you laughing. The rest is a gut feeling. Following it had saved my life more than once." Linka shrugged.
"Wow, I gotta to admit. You're the first person to doored out of me. Haha, get it?" Lane chuckled, and as usual, Linka groaned.
"Right. And I'm the one to door you out."
"Don't steal my joke, bro... Sis." Lane joked, and then realized what he said.
Linka raised her eyebrow, "I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that."
"Hey, Linka. I thought it was just a harmless prank. But I got something else." Lane smirked.
"And what's that? A knock-knock joke?"
"No way, that's the lowest form of comedy. Just a double twist." Lane snickered as he pointed down at his shoes, which also has pink flowers.
"And what's that...? Oh." Linka stopped.
But when Linka glanced at Lane's shoes, she noticed they were quite similar to the flower on his shirt... Too similar. In fact, there's a white something in the middles. Linka jumped and turned around to Lane's back seconds before water squirted out of Lane's flower shoes.
Lane jumped around with a wide mouth, "What? You are supposed to lower yourself down. The water would from my shoes would go straight into your face. Wait, in your mouth would be funnier! Haha!"
"That's it?" Linka crossed her arms.
"I have plenty of more tricks left. Want to see them?"
"A third squirt? How would that be possible?" Linka deadpanned.
"Anything's possible if you have the belief and imagination."
"Yeah right. The poor would become rich overnight." Linka sarcastically said. Lane huffed with his shoulders crossed.
"Oh, come on. Why are you such a cynic?" Lane teased, but he stopped when he remembered the House of Lost Children.
"... I have good reasons to be. But guess they aren't so important." Linka glared, leaving Lane with a shuddering back and his head sweating.
"No, no. I didn't mean it like that. It's... better than being too optimistic. Thinking... the world is perfect." Lane shrugged.
"Maybe you should think of your words before blurting them out. Just like how Luke with his awful British accent. I am sure every British kid is crying whenever he opens his mouth."
"Well, that's rich coming from someone who has a mouth herself. But you should have heard Luke trying to speak in other accents. Especially Scottish." Lane shook his head with an uncharacteristic frown.
"Whatever, it's not like its anything serious."
"How come you think so? Why so serious? Maybe I can give you comedy therapy?"
"You imply that you are worth me rubbing in your face."
"Why, no need to disrespect me. I got other things to rub on." Lane playfully extended his hands out and leaned back in a faux-defensiveness.
"Gosh, can't you get a break from joking around?" Linka grumbled.
"Oh, so you are trying to turn me into a killjoy? Why, I am offended. I don't want to become a tragedian. Worse than being in a boring profession." Lane did a dramatic hand gesture to his forehead. Then he grinned again, "Not! haha, fooled you."
"You didn't. Thought you be more clever than that." Linka deadpanned.
"Man, I am getting jealous. You never run out of things to say. I am reconsidering my views on dry humor. Thought I could do some cheering up because you did look rather anxious when Loni showed us the pictures and we started talking about you dressing girly."
"Look, I am fine," Linka dusted herself off as she looked back at puddles on the carpet, "Besides, your mommy and daddy wouldn't be happy to see a watery mess in the hall. Your daddy wouldn't make a fit over it if you were different."
"Wait, what?"
Linka froze when she thought over what her words implied, "Uh... Because a comedian isn't expected to be taken seriously?" she stammered.
Lane squinted his eyes and nodded slowly. "Riiiiight. I am so convinced. Besides, both me and Dad have the same sense of humor."
"Huh, he knows humor? Never had the chance to see. All he did was give me glares before then." Linka commented.
"Come on, give him a chance. He can be stern but it's only because he got ten kids to raise... and how much dutch ovens we give him. But..." he stopped when he noticed Linka looking from her back, as if she was sure a monster will jump onto her any minute.
"Linka?" Lane got her attention, and Linka turned back quickly. A bit too quickly.
"Yeah? You got something to ask?" Linka answered coolly, but with a tight throat. Lane sensed her tone was about to hide something.
"You okay? Why are you looking back? Is someone coming?"
"Nope, force of habit. Danger can be everywhere and one has to be alert. No big deal, clown." Linka made a dismissive wave.
"Oh yes, I am quite a clown. Thank you." Lane did a mock bow, though his head remained up and towards Linka with a sneaky smirk. But Linka's checking on her back remained in his mind.
"That was not a compliment. Can you stop twisting my words?"
"That's what comedy about; twisting things to get people laughing. Besides, if I really wasn't worth rubbing on, then you would've been walking away."
"Well, I make people snigger by insulting them." Linka sneered.
"You are a challenge. But I like a challenge. Hadn't had one in a long time." Lane put his palm to suppress his snickering.
"Yeah, whatever. Not like you do much aside from annoying the hell of others. You may earn yourself a picture in the dictionary beneath the word 'annoying'."
Lane gasped quietly and didn't react for a moment, and soon he cracked an evil grin. "Oh, is that what you think? Trust me, I am much more than playing random jokes around. Unless you want to see more?"
"What are you saying?"
"I thought the streets taught you to not underestimate your opponents. You can back up from making a graaaaave mistake."
"What mistake? Is this another joke of yours?"
"Sorry, I wish it was. But no. By this point, it's already too late. Be prepared for more of my... pranks. It will be nice to do it much earlier instead of waiting."
"April... Fools?" Linka repeated, but Lane walked to his room before she could ask more. The girl let out a "hmm" and walked downstairs.
She spotted the other boys doing their usual hobbies, with the twins playing video games. Lexx remained and Leif kept glaring at him, probably out of being bored with winning. She wondered what's getting into Lexx, but Lane came back to her mind.
"Hey guys? Can I ask you something? It's something about Lane?
"Lane told you another lame joke? Don't worry, we have been dealing with this for fourteen years. You will get used to him." Loki said, without looking at the girl.
"Uh yeah. I get it. But he said something about... April Fools."
The boys froze. The twins even dropped their controllers, not caring that they had lost the game. They all turned to Linka like frozen robots. She didn't want to admit it, but the creepy behavior made her skin crawled. And it left her more curious about what Lane meant by "April fools" and his pranks.
"Did you just said... April fools?" Lars did, in an even more lifeless tone than usual.
"... Yes?"
"Wait, it's just him sneaking around. Only popping out to tell a joke. Right?"
"It was... at first. We ended up having... insult to insult combat, and I told him he isn't much outside of an unfunny comedian. He took that… personally. Told me he can show more of him with these April fools."
All the boys gasped. Even Leon had a quivering face. Linka wondered if this was so serious, even a baby can understand it.
"What did you do? Do you realize what you had put yourself in?!"
"What do you mean?" Linka raised an eyebrow.
"You don't know Lane's reputation as a prankster. Guess you don't know Royal Woods as well as you think. We are like local celebrities here here, and especially Lane. You had just put yourself into his Prankageddon!"
"Prankag... kagddone?" Linka tilted her head.
"Trust us, Lane's a nightmare in April Fools. He creates a prank apocalypse, and he spares no one! Including you!" Luke exclaimed before all the boys shuddered.
"And the fact he is planning on pranks outside means you are doomed!" Leif let out a quiet shriek with his body shaking. Linka already knew boys were shaking as well.
"Can you name a few times he was a nightmare?" Linka asked.
"Oh, we could list on forever. We will need to find a paper taller than the house itself." Lynn Jr. said, and Linka made a "hmm?" from the athlete's metaphor.
The Louds found themselves trapped in a giant red jello. Each member was holding their breath in. None were having to a good time. Some having their faces turning as red as the jello and veins popping out on their foreheads. A 9-year-old Lane walked in with a huge grin.
"Aww, look at the Loud Family gettin' jiggly with it!" he giggled.
"Lane..." a 12-year-old Loki tried to speak, but the jello enclosed his mouth too tightly.
"Happy April Fools, suckers!" Lane laughed again before he ran out. If the jello weren't suppressing their mouths, the boys would had been groaning.
Another time, the family took cautious steps to their house. Some shaking of what might come. Lynn Sr. closed his eyes and puts his hand on the door knob, his other behind his back with fingers crossed. He slowly opened the door, expecting for the worst. But when the family gathered the courage to open their eyes, they weren't expecting this.
A chicken coop in the dining one. Tons of them clucking out. Not as terrifying as they expected. But they were making a mess. Running through plates, dropping everything on the kitchen tables, and making some... matter on the floor.
"Seems to be your clucky day!" 10-year-old Lane rised out of the chicken coop. How he did it with no mess was a mystery...
Present
"Or the time he wrapped the entire house in gift wraps." Luke added in.
"Or the time he shaved the pets' hair off. That was a total nightmare for me. And I was only 2. Poor animals." Leif shuddered, with Linka turning to the Loud pets with widened eyes. They could only give her a winced "tell me about it" look.
"Guess that makes sense... Actually, it doesn't. Those are pretty much harmless pranks compared to rather dangerous ones. At least someone is not at risk of dying." Linka nodded with her finger pointing at her chin.
"What? You are not scared? Nobody's safe from that evil pranking genius! Are you crazy?" Lynn Jr. waved his arms around.
"Don't worry. I have a few tricks in my sleeves." Linka extended her arms out with a relaxed voice.
"You do? You wouldn't have to if you wore that blouse we had bought at the mall." Everyone turned to Loni with deadpanned faces.
"Please, not now, Loni." Linka closed her eyes with a groan.
"Still, like, why did you put away the clothes we bought you?"
"What does he mean? You put the clothes somewhere?" Loki asked.
"That's not important. Isn't this April Fools things something I should watch for my life out?" Linka groaned.
"Yeah, when Linka's life could be in danger!" Loni shrieked.
Linka stopped and looked at the boys. Yes, it's natural when someone they feared might target someone else. But how come they seem so worried about her safety? All for a prankster who goes more bold than anyone she met. She still doesn't understand why the Louds became less hostile to her since the House of Lost Children.
None had noticed Linka's expression, as they seemed too scared. They all kept on giving out their solutions to her getting away from Lane. Linka can't hear one clearly, with all of them talking over one another.
"Maybe I could keep you in the linen closet. Nail mahjong on the door. Even he wouldn't get in. But I gotta warn you, you might be too weak to pull out the strongest wood there is." Leif suggested, and Linka glared at the mudlover. The boy stopped and hidden behind Loni's back when he realized how his words came off.
"This year, I was considering using bubble wrap. We should hurry to the store." Levi said, and everyone turned to him with wide eyes. Why he would show concern to Linka too? He's the last person who would.
"I can put you in my bunker. Each year, we always got 364 days to prepare. Yet everyone else does it the first few days before."
"Wait, you have a bunker?" Lynn Jr. repeated as the boys glared at the child prodigy.
"You are designing one to hide from Lane without telling us?" Loki gritted his teeth.
"Nooooooo," Levi made a mischievous grin while looking away. Everyone can only glare, with cricket chirping filling in the silence.
"Annnnyway... Loki is planning on leaving town next April fools with his female relationship unit." Levi stated, to get his brothers' glares off him.
"What?!" the boys glared at Loki, who winced under the attention. But then he growled at the child prodigy with a vein popping on his forehead.
"Levi! How did you literally figured it out?" Loki demanded.
"You should make a mental note of toning down the volume of your voice whenever you talk in your portable telephone." Levi rolled his eyes.
"Still doesn't erase that you tried to shift the anger away to Loki." Linka shook his head.
"And just to point it out, this abode has narrow walls. Our comedy-abled brother can hear you. So you can release them out of your frontal lobe." Levi added in, ignoring an irritated Linka.
"God, removing his big brain might make him less annoying." Linka muttered. Levi gave the street child a death stare.
"Oh crap. Oh literally crap." Loki put his two hands on his cheeks and stretched them out.
"You don't need an added 'literally'. It's stating what sounds like an expression is actually real." Levi lifted his glasses to rub his eyes.
The boys went on a yelling fit, calling out Loki for planning to abandon them. On the day that always leave them scared for their lives.
Linka extended her arms out and waved her hands, causing the boys to shut up. "Okay, hold on. Hold on... What's April fools?"
"You... don't know what April Fools is?"
"Where have you been living your entire life? Under a rock or something?" Lynn Jr. tilted his head.
"I think she is too big to fit a rock. But that's like totes weird." Loni commented.
"I am going to guess it's a holiday where people play pranks. But what's the point? Why does it even exist compare to Christmas or Good Friday?"
"Good Friday? What's that?" Leif asked with a raised eyebrow.
Linka's eyes darted back and forth, "Uh, it's not... that much of a holiday..."
She stopped talking about anything religious. She didn't need people thinking she's a fish out of water. But every once in a while, it slipped without her realizing it.
"Damn you, grandpa and grandma... and Aaron. You had me that sheltered. I am wondering if I was living in a prison as disguised as a house." Linka thought with a sour scowl. She fantasized about blowing fire on them while screaming out everything they had done to her.
"Riiiight." Levi squinted his eyes like a detective. Linka wanted to think he can't read people. He can never deny the obvious. But Levi exposed her true gender. She can't underestimate him.
"God, I hate it when people look at me like that." Linka thought.
"Hmm." Loki squinted too, and checked his phone, typing something on it. Because he's always on his phone, Linka didn't pay attention to him.
"What's the point of a holiday where everyone pranks? How could people even approve that?" Linka asked.
"Trust me. We were wondering the same thing for years, brah." Luke shook his head.
"Sooooo... What are the tricks do you have?" Leif asked. Lexx nodded absentmindedly after the word April Fools snapped him out of his trance briefly.
"You will see for yourself." Linka said.
"Going to tell us or not?"
"Hahahahah!" Lane laughed deviously as he lifted the pie up. One can even see his irises were becoming white. He threw the pie to face, leaving out a huge splash.
Lane. He realized Linka didn't even bother dodging and had allowed herself to get caught.
Linka removed the pie that was on her eyes and mouth.
"Okay, Lane. I get this is like your signature prank or something. But soon everyone will learn to dodge that."
"
"But I gotta to admit, this is some damn good pie." the street child licked the cream on her fingers, and her eyes even shined. "Wow, so good."
"Lots of... practice? Made plenty of them... Pranks?" Lane meekly responded, and didn't even laugh at his pun.
"I would say it's a good pun. But it's not even nice. Just pathetic." Linka remarked distastefully before eating a piece of pie crust.
"Not helping." Lane slowly facepalmed with his cheeks turning pink. The boys could barely suppress their snickering seeing Lane so humiliated.
"Okay, don't get too smug, Linka. I still have other tricks in my sleeves. Soon you will wish you could pull them out." Lane laughed before he went back to gritting his teeth.
"Go ahead."
"I thought, why bother trying to escape them?
"So you just walked Oh come on! Not an actual point!" Lane stomped on the floor like a little kid.
"Oh what's the point?" Lane remarked in deadbeat tone, his arms falling down.
"How could she evade Lane's pranks when even I can't?" Levi stammered,
"All part of being wary of your surroundings." the street child laughed.
"We are all wary of his pranks." Loki pointed to himself and then his brothers with a weary groan.
Linka sneered and thought of insulting Lane again. But stopped and thought about it. Even though she still evaded them, Linka admitted the pranks were rather impressive. An average man in the streets wouldn't be able to escape them. So it's best to not provoke Lane any further and give herself even more dangerous pranks to go through. She values her life.
Linka scoffed, "Oh well, I will let you face the fact I had stepped above your pranks," she smiled smugly as she walked away with her eyes closed. But when she opened them, Linka saw a bucket right above the door. The street child glanced back at Lane, who has an evil grin yet his shaking palms put together and whispering through his teeth "Please, this time" repeatedly.
She kicked the door out, leaving the bucket to fall. The liquid seemed too thick and colorless to be water. Linka raised an eyebrow and lowered herself down, touching the substances. Her fingers started to stick together for a bit.
"Quick-drying glue? That's the best you got? You know what, by this point, I will not brag."
"But... But... But it was supposed to be a twist!" Lane started stretching his hair out.
"Oh man. Seeing Lane so shut down. So awesome!" Luke grinned.
"Man, it's so weird to see Lane like this. He almost never gives up with telling jokes and especially pranks."
"Out of character, indeed." Lars said.
"You should find a better hiding place too." Linka remarked before she put her hand into her jacket. She pulled out a gray notebook with laughing stickers on it.
"Damn, she is not an easy person to trick." Lane muttered as he wiped the water off his eyes.
"Okay. I am getting sick of this. Just how can you escape me?"
"How did you plan so many? Especially with digging that fake puddle." Linka asked.
"Uh... I have my ways. Just like magicians, pranksters never reveal their secrets." Lane flushed, looking for a way to get Linka to answer him.
"No way. She's like Dee Dee in escaping Dexter's attempts to stop her from hoping around." Lexx said.
"Where did you find that?" Leif asked.
"Oh, guess it's a good hiding spot towards them then. But not me. And besides, I tried to invade your house, remember?"
"Thank you... for not telling them." Lane murmured with a furious blush, and soon snatched the notebook.
"Come on. Why are you all scared of him? I mean, the pranks aren't as dangerous as I imagined. Though some can be life threatening..."
"Life-threatening?" Lane turned to his brothers, who shrugged with nervous grins.
"Never mind. I'm getting tired of escaping pranks, anyway."
"I hope he will learn something. But considering the last few times, I doubt it." Leif commented.
Lane huffed, "Annnnnyway. You seem to be an expert at dry humor. So I'm wondering.
Lane's smile dropped, his eyes becoming wide and shiny. Though they aren't always ashamed of making fun of him, they stopped talking when they realized what they said. The boys remembered back when the younger boys would burst out in laughter. While the older ones and parents can barely suppress their chuckling. But when it becomes a habit, they start to find him less and less funny by each year.
"Oh, guess that was a fun time..." Lane softly said.
"We didn't mean it like that.
"I think you gave Lane the ability to tell real jokes." Loki laughed.
"You think?" Lane made a low growl
"No, no. Not at all. Your... jokes are actually starting to make... sense! Not like saying cents!" Loki smiled sheepishly with his hands waving out.
"Yeah, makes total cents." Lane said sarcastically.
"Don't tell everyone, but I kinda enjoy hearing all my siblings groan at my jokes. Not better than laughing. But still amusing."
"Uhhhh?" the boys murmured. Some glared at Lane. All these years, thinking Lane is a clueless boy, they learned they dealt with it for his amusement.
"We will... leave you two alone here." Loki stammered. The boys whistled and walked back before leaving in a rush.
"What was that about?"
"No idea. I am thinking they are relieved I am not going full April Fools on them." Lane chuckled.
"Come on, can't you also get enough of April Fools too?"
"Guess you love murdering comedy. You should become an annoyedian instead of a comedian. And write a new kind of joke books."
"Hey, good one. I would definitely take that! f there's no death and not an insult."
"Go ahead, not much in a mood. You're not mad over me stealing your door pun. Let me keep your a hypocrite."
"Just kidding. It's part of a comedian's code to make their own jokes. Otherwise, they will be inauthentic." Lane answered in a professional tone.
Linka raised an eyebrow as she tried to figure out what "authentic" means. She couldn't figure it out from his words around it. But she doesn't care. For whatever interests the boys had, she hoped she won't deal with them mansplaining to her. Just because she never had any interests herself besides pick-pocketing.
"You know, authentic? Genuine? Original? Oh right, you never went to school."
"Well, I wondering if original means unfunny." Linka sneered.
"Better than stolen ideas. Good thing they aren't concrete ideas, otherwise. Plenty would had been stolen then. Unoriginal can also mean suck."
"Well, if really are more than a comedian, prove it to me besides doing dum... pranks. What else you do then?"
"I bet you are wondering what those pies for? Besides pranks? They are my theme desserts for my birthday planning business?
"I didn't know you have a birthday planning business. Why I didn't see all this when I invaded the house?"
"I keep them hidden in a secret place. You may had gotten my notebook, but it doesn't mean I would keep my precious things in one safe."
"A teen? Owns a business? Never heard of that besides... bags selling?" Linka shrugged.
Lane gave the street child a look. She couldn't tell whether it's faux-offended expression or weirded out from what wasn't his usual source material. Of course, he caught on what Linka's trying to cover her words.
"Riiigght. You think me of that? A comedian who's purpose is to make people laugh? I prefer cheering people up in a healthy way."
"Forget I said that." she facepalmed.
"Just because teens are young and hot-blooded doesn't mean we can't do. They are more capable than certain people who are stuck in their eons."
"Like everything they do just for blood pumping while I do it to get food in my stomach?"
"That make sense. Maybe perhaps you can become my birthday party assistant?" Lane made a sly smirk.
"Nope, it would be an honor." Linka sarcastically answered.
"Come on, I can teach you how to make my famous pies. I usually keep them super secret, but your a street child. No reasons to tell everyone."
"Thanks for the offer. Answer's is still not a chance. Why would I help with stupid parties?"
"Well, birthdays are about celebrating your life. Growing up and how far you went. Everyone should celebrate them! That's why it's an honor. Even when one is just helping around."
Linka laughed sarcastically, "Yeah, everyone should. It's not like nobody can't do so."
Lane stopped as he noted the slight sharpness in her tone, "What do you mean? We all have birthdays. Don't you remember yours?"
"Well, I had left Detroit a few months before my eleven birthday. I lost of track of the date for a while. Didn't have my own calender to check the date. One, I found out that day was a few days after my eleventh birthday. But I didn't care and was dealing with... Well, chasing from people I stole from." Linka can't help but cracked a sly smirk.
"Wait... So you actually... never celebrated your birthday in the streets?" Lane almost dropped his notebook.
"Pretty sure it doesn't take much to guess. Many don't know when their birthday is. I almost forgot mine more than once." Linka shrugged.
"But..." Lane wanted to speak out. But then he remembered the House of Lost Children and stopped. He realized it may only make him sound like an insensitive boy who doesn't understand how privileged he is. He already had made that remark and Lane realized he may have been a little too happy with his success.
Linka saw how silent the comedian was. "Well, that was a long day. I am going to put your props in your room."
Lane went into thought as he watched Linka goes upstairs. A slow smirk cracked up on his face as he picked up his notebook and scribbled on it. Linka may or may not like this idea knowing how sour she is, but it's worth a try. Nobody can make, Lane Loud, him give up on not making someone laugh.
A/N: Here's the chapter focusing on Lane. I know he has been a background character, and I wish I could give him more attention. No matter how hard I try, I can't find a place for Lane. It may be for the best. How would he have a big role in this type of story?
Many street children don't even know their own birthdays. It didn't take much to guess, but I still researched anyway. It's rather sad. Another reality of being a homeless kid. I found out companies like Beverly's Birthdays are dedicating their money to giving the parites they couldn't have. Wish I can give my respects to them. I'm will definitely think about this on my next birthday. Hope you all will too.
Stay in tune for more chapters.