*Jay's busy setting up for a massive Fourth of July Barbecue in his dimension, complete with a massive buffet table with foods from every group in America and a banner that says "Happy Fourth of July. All are welcome!" As he finishes putting on his Uncle Sam costume, he reads FungusDungus000's review of the last chapter...and his eyes go wide.*
FungusDungus000-...and I can't wait to see Mr. Heinous! I'm already head-cannoning his VA as Mark Hamill.
Mark Hamill.
Mark Hamill.
Mark Hamill.
Jay: HE KNOWS. *Pulls out his watch phone communicator and begins to talk into it like crazy.* ALL UNITS, THIS IS A CODE RED. REPEAT, A FAN FIGURED OUT THE HEADCANON VOICE FOR A CHARACTER BEFORE I COULD REVEAL IT!
Just kidding! Congrats on guessing it, Fungus! Now, I hope you enjoy this chapter, everyone, and understand that I worked incredibly hard to make...this school as horrible as it is.
Oh and speaking of head canon, my head canon voice for MC is Ben Scwartz, known for Randy Cunningham, Dewey Duck, and Sonic the Hedgehog
It was an absolutely beautiful day in Echo Creek, California. The air was crisp, and everyone was busy going about their lives under the bright SoCal sun. Jackson Lee Thomas was idly gliding through town on his U-Board. Alfonso and Ferguson were trying to finally get the platinum trophy in Final Fantasy VII Remake on their UGC (they got the PS5 Version.) Jonah, of all people, got hired by Brittney to make a statue of her, which he used as practice for his alchemy. Everything seemed right with the world. Though in the Diaz House on 4318 Avocado Terrace, a certain blonde-haired Prince was only focused on one thing: calling his best friend and wishing him a happy birthday!
"~I just called 'cause have to say, happy birthday on your birthday day, happy birthday on your birthday day!~" Comet sang as he danced around his room before getting in as close as possible to his mirror, sporting the biggest grin that he could muster. "Mare "MC" Colthead, as your best friend in the entire Universe, I want to wish you a happy birthday!" Comet then followed this up by whipping out his Wand and using magical fireworks to spell out "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MC!" in the middle of his bedroom. Miraculously, nothing caught on fire.
"Oh, Comet," MC said as he watched all of this through the mirror. "You really know how to make someone feel special, don't you?" He said, not even bothering to suppress the sniffle due to his oncoming tears of joy.
"Oh, that was just the warm-up act, MC! Now it's time for THE MAIN EVENT!" Comet shouted as he proceeded to reach off-screen before returning with a tray of sparkling cupcakes. They were covered in neon-colored frosting, sprinkles, and bits of Captain Blanche's Sugar Seeds that Comet "borrowed" from Marcia when she wasn't looking. What surprised MC the most, though, was that they had fireworks coming out of them! "Hope you're hungry because I only made the best for my brother from another mother!"
"OMG, Comet, thank you so much!" MC said before nervously looking off to the side and then clearing his throat. "What I mean is," he said in the most "proper" tone that he could muster, "while I deeply appreciate the gesture, a Prince such as myself cannot afford to partake in such confectionaries for fear of ruining my diet. But would you please donate them to the starving orphans of Galafamor on my behalf?"
Comet just stood there for a moment, looking at MC like he had just spoken in an unknown language. "Ummm, MC, bro? You're acting kind of...weird."
MC chuckled nervously to himself. "Why, whatever could you possibly mean, Prince Dragonfly? I am simply trying to meet the standards and expectations that someone of my royal status is expected to uphold."
Okay, something's seriously wrong, Comet thought. "MC, are you okay? Did you hit your horn again? Are they feeding you properly in there?"
Realizing that Comet wasn't getting the message, MC groaned before leaning in closer to the mirror. "Bro, real talk. You know that we can't accept care packages at Sgt. Oleg's Reform School for Wayward Pr-"
"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Acting on reflex, Comet did what he always did when he heard that school's name: run and scream! He immediately dropped the tray of cupcakes (which exploded in clouds of tiny fireworks) and ran for cover as MC looked on in concern.
"Um, D-Fly? Are you alright?" MC asked as he heard knocking on the door to the room where he'd been allowed to call Comet.
"What's going on in there, Prince Mare Cranium? We heard screaming," the husky voice of one of the accursed facility's many guards called out from the other side.
"Uh, nothing is wrong, my good sir," MC hastily said. "My friend just reacts like that whenever he hears the name Sgt. Oleg's-"
"AHHHHHHH!" Comet screamed again on his end of the mirror.
"Yes, like that. At any rate, no need to disturb us, guard."
"Fine. But you've only got ten minutes left on your call, your highness."
"Yeah, don't remind me, you mechanical douchebag," MC swore under his breath before turning back to look at the mirror. "Comet?" he spoke while scanning the room for any sign of his best friend before finally settling on his kicking boots sticking out from under a rug. "Are you okay now, buddy?"
"Yeah. Yeah, I'm good," Comet said as he poked out from underneath his bedsheets and began to slowly walk back towards the mirror, while MC just looked confused as Hell.
"Just going to ignore that," MC said as he tried to forget about...whatever that rug thing was. "Look, Comet, you have got to stop letting this place get to you."
"But I can't help it, MC!" Comet worriedly told him. "All my life, my family has held that accursed place over me like a sword hanging from a rope, ready to stab me if I step out of line one too many times! My worthless Great-Uncle Eternia pressured my Dad for years to send me there, and if he hadn't sent me to live on Earth, I think he would've gone through with it this time!" Even now, months after his father had essentially banished him to train on Earth, Comet could still feel the threat of being sent to Sgt. O's hanging over his head. Only now, it felt worse than ever.
Comet laid down in a fetal position on the floor. "I'm fully prepared for my Dad to find out that I've been defying every last one of the rules he set for me when I got to Earth. With my magic and the scissors you gave me, I could outrun and outfight anyone my family sent after me. But that would mean I'd have to say goodbye to you, goodbye to Echo Creek, to Jonah, Karla-"
"Who?" MC asked.
"-and goodbye to Marcia. And that's something that I don't think I can live without," Comet solemnly said as he looked at the fashionable, pointed boots that he had on.
MC looked at his friend with sympathy. Whenever Comet got melancholy like this, it would usually go away on its own. Over the years, though, MC had figured out that sometimes, Comet needed a pick-me-up. And who better than your best bro?
"Hey, Comet, don't let it get to you. I'm the one doing hard-time here, in case you forgot," MC said.
"That's not really helping me, MC," Comet admitted as he got up from the floor and looked at the Colthead. "I mean, can you imagine what we could be doing right now to celebrate your birthday? Because I totally can! In fact, I can use magic to show you what we could be doing right now!" Then, with a flourish, Comet pointed his Wand at himself and shouted, "Dream-Screen Projection!"
After the typical puff of purple smoke and glitter had vanished, a giant thought bubble appeared above Comet's head, displaying the countdown footage found in old-timey movies that the Prince had discovered on Earth's Internet. The moment the countdown hit 'zero,' though, it began to display various images of Comet and MC doing fun things together. The first was of the two riding in a massive teacup through a river made out of liquid rainbows.
"Think about it, MC! We could be having tea in the Dowager dimension, blissfully jostling down its famous rainbow rivers without a care in the world!" The thought bubble then changed, showing the two clad in futuristic armor. They were locked in combat with a horde of some sort of misshapen blob monsters. Comet was mowing down scores of the creatures with a pulse rifle while MC was charging right through them with his horn, skewering them like a shish kebob.
"Or we could be slaying brain-eating parasites in our favorite VR Game at the Amethyst Arcade!" As the enemies fell to the ground, they began to crumble into thousands of tiny pixels that dissipated into non-existence. "And we'd have everyone watching us and saying how we were the coolest people of all time!"
The next thing that came up was Comet, MC, and several of their friends from Earth and beyond clad in form-fitting spacesuits as they proceeded to race across the barren, gray, and dusty surface of Earth's Moon. Comet was driving a golf cart while MC had attached a golf club to his horn, letting him swing at balls as they went past. "Or I could take you and a bunch of our pals to Earth's Moon, and we could have a blast shooting off balls into space. And while I know that sounds boring, it's not! Not only have humans managed to travel to their world's Moon, but they also learned the gravity's a fraction of what it is on Earth and Mewni. We'd be like superheroes!"
As MC listened in silence, he had to admit that that did sound promising. Truthfully, all of those ideas sounded very promising. But Comet wasn't done yet. The thought bubble then shifted to show that same group now sailing on the high seas aboard a very familiar-looking ship. Comet was dressed like a pirate as he was at the helm, MC was flying all over the place and spreading glitter around, and others were either dancing, eating, or sunbathing.
"Or we could head to the All Blue and set sail in the Shooting Star and have an all-day party on the high seas. Complete with a giant cake at the end!" As fun as that sounded, though, Comet had saved the best for last. Responding to his thoughts, the magical thought bubble changed its appearance to that of the duo's favorite place in the Universe.
"And to top it all off, we'd hit up the Bounce Lounge and top everything off with an all-night dance party!" True to his word, the pair were killing it on the dance floor as all their friends and admirers watched and cheered them on. "And the best part is that we could jam out to the amazingly talented Karla Greason, the Bounce Lounge's new musical superstar!" Comet couldn't help but blush as he said this. Even Comet Dragonfly got embarrassed at times.
After hearing all of that, MC couldn't hold his excitement back any longer. "Ohohohoho, heck yeah, boy! I mean, between the extreme golfing and slaying of the Monsters in the games and the dancing! I don't even know what I'd like the most! It would be the best birthday ever! BOOM!" MC enthusiastically shouted as he did a flip in the air. But, alas, his excitement was short-lived as he heard pounding on the door.
It was at this point, that MC knew, that he f*cked up.
"Oh, pegasus feathers," MC cursed.
"What? MC, what's going on, buddy?" Comet asked as the spell ended as his concern for his bro made him cancel out the magic.
"I just publicly expressed my individuality in a manner that demonstrated an improper and unprincely emotion! And that was my third strike!" The pounding on the door got even louder as the guards got inside and began to approach the Colthead Prince
"Prince Colthead, you are in violation of the rules of this institution! And now, you shall face the consequences!" One of the giant, masked guards shouted at him.
"And now they're going to be sending me to the Solitary Conform-ment Chamber! Hey, let go of me, you stupid clanker!" MC struggled to shake off one of the guards as they tried to grab him in the air.
"No, no!" Comet could only watch helplessly as his friend was being brutalized by the guards.
"Comet, if I don't make it out of this, promise me you'll remember me for how I was!" MC managed to get out as the guards finally grabbed hold of him. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, YOU MECHANICAL BASTARDS! HAHAHA, HAHAHA!" With that, MC began to fly all over the room like a mad horse, throwing himself at the guards as he did so.
"Backup! We need backup in the mirror room!" A voice called out as another guard reached for the mirror and covered it with his hands, shutting it off.
"NO, MC!" Comet cried out in horror as he reached out to his mirror. "No, no, no, no, please don't do this to me, buddy! Call MC!"
"We're sorry, but the number you've dialed is not available. Please leave a message and try again later," the mirror's monotone voice said, uncaring of the personal crisis that Comet was going through.
"Noooo! My best friend in the Universe!" Comet cried as he fell to his knees in anguish. "You don't deserve to be treated like this! AWWW!" Comet could already feel the tears welling up in his eyes. Assuming that he hadn't been already, MC would likely be captured and sent to the Solitary Conform-ment Chamber; he didn't even know what it was, but he instinctively knew that it was bad! And here he was, MC's best friend and partner in crime, and he couldn't do a damn thing to help him! The sheer helplessness was tearing him apart.
"Hey, Comet? Are you in here?" the friendly voice of Marcia called out from the hallway as she knocked on his door before coming inside. "I was wondering if you knew where my red headband was," she casually asked as she pointed to her hair, bereft of the headband that she normally wore with her outfit. That's when she noticed Comet was bawling his eyes out on the floor. "Um, Comet? Are you okay, dude?" she asked, concerned at her friend's mental state.
Comet paused for a moment, looking at his roommate's sweet, understanding face before he suddenly grabbed hold of Marcia's skirt and resumed crying. The girl's first instinct was to kick him off her and lecture him about not ruining her clothes, but she could tell that this was serious. So, reluctantly, she let Comet continue until he was finally able to talk.
"Marcia, this is awful! Bros don't let best bros have terrible birthday days!" Comet blew his nose into Marcia's skirt, which nearly made her forget any sympathy she may have had and pound him. Even so, she let him continue. "And MC's having the worst one ever!"
"MC?" Marcia reiterated. At that moment, any sympathy she may have had dried up like a raisin in the sun. "Yeah, I'm out. If you need me, I'll be changing skirts while I put this one in the wash." Marcia then made for the door, only to feel something heavy and annoying weighing her down. "Comet, if you tear my skirt, I swear to God that I will ban you from eating Captain Blanche's Sugar Seeds for a month!"
"How can you be worried about your clothes at a time like this, Marcia? MC's being tortured as we speak!"
"Yeah, and in case you've forgotten, the two of us aren't exactly on the best of terms," Marcia bluntly told him as she finally managed to force him off her skirt and continued to make for the door.
"Marcia Diaz!" Comet cried out. "We can't just leave things as is! We've got to do something!"
"Well, if you're so concerned about him, then why don't you just go and bust him out of that hellhole. I'm sure that will be a great idea," Marcia sarcastically told him.
"B-b-b-bust him out? Of the most terrifying place in the entire Universe? Me, go there?!" The mere thought of going to that school of nightmares and despair was enough to make Comet quake in his very boots. It terrified him!
"Yeah, that's what busting someone out means, Comet," Marcia said as she resisted the urge to roll her eyes at how melodramatic Comet was being. She knew that he hated that school with every fiber of his being, but this was ridiculous!
"But I can't go there! What if I get caught? What if they throw me in there with the rest of the unfortunate prisoners? What if my family finds out and leaves me there to rot for the rest of my miserable life!?" Comet's overactive imagination was now in full overdrive and imagining every worst-case scenario that could unfold.
Okay, this has gone on long enough, Marcia thought as she grew tired of Comet's uncharacteristic fear. So she did the best thing that she could do for him at the moment: walked up to him and bitch-slapped him across the face. "Get ahold of yourself, man! You're embarrassing yourself!"
"Yeah, you're right, Marcia. Thanks. I needed that." Comet gratefully told her.
"Anytime, pal. Now calm down and think this through. Is Sgt. Oleg's-"
"AAHHHHHHHHHHH!" And just like that, Comet began to freak out once more, running around his room in a panic while screaming, "SGT. O'S, SGT. O'S, SGT. O'S!"
Dios Mio, not this again, Marcia thought as she pinched the bridge of her nose while Comet finished his outburst.
"Sorry, sorry. I forgot that you do that whenever you hear someone say that name," Marcia apologized.
"It's cool, Marcy," Comet said as he came out of his closet, leaving Marcia staring at...whatever was kicking from underneath the rug.
"What the Hell is that...thing under your rug, Comet? It's freaking me out!" Marcia pointed at the unnatural rug resting in the middle of the room."
"I have no freaking idea, Marcia. It just came with the room," he said, just as creeped out as her. "All l I know is that I should never touch it. Ever!" Comet then cleared his throat before continuing. "So, you're seriously suggesting that I should break into...that place," he shuddered as he said, too afraid to even say its name, "and free MC. But Marcia, no one's ever broken into that school from the black lagoon!"
Marcia shook her head. "Oh, Comet. That's what they say about every prison. But the truth is that no prison is inescapable. But if you're going to do this, then you can't do it alone."
"Yeah, you're right," Comet said as he began to pace the floor. "I'm going to need help. Someone devious, something cunning, someone capable of handling any obstacle thrown at them!"
Marcia sighed, thinking that she knew where this was going. "All right, Comet, you've convinced me. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'll help you free MC."
Comet turned back to look at her in confusion. "Uh, actually Marcia, I was thinking of Jonah," he told her.
"Que?" Marcia asked in confusion (and in Espanol). "Why Jonah?"
"Well, think about it, Marcia. Jonah's all of those things that I just mentioned and then some. He's cunning, great at not caught, and best of all, he knows alchemy. So this thing seems like it would be right up his alley."
"True, true," Marcia admitted. "But here's my rebuttal in the form of three points. Point one: I have seen every prison escape movie and show known to mankind."
"Okay, go on," Comet told her, letting her continue.
"Point two: I have read and studied some of the most cunning and successful prison escapes in real life. Including, I should note, from prisons and facilities that were touted as inescapable."
"Okay, good, good," Comet said.
"And the third point: I've got a set of genuine escape art tools in my room. Lockpicks, portable knives that can cut through ropes, and skeleton keys capable of unlocking doors, handcuffs, and more."
"Why do you-?"
"Jonah went through an escape artist phase back in middle school and made me be his assistant. He eventually lost interest, but I read up on the techniques and tricks that the greats used and wound up buying a set of escape tools for myself."
"Or I could just use my scissors, teleport right into his cell, and then bust him out."
"Oh, yeah," Marcia said, suddenly feeling very stupid. "I completely forgot that."
"It's alright, Marcia. You can still come with me, though. I can also use an extra set of eyes and hands," Comet said, trying to cheer her up. "Go get that stuff you were talking about from your room and meet back here in about five minutes. Then, we're going to pull off the prison break of the century!"
"Sir, yes, sir!" Marcia said as she ran to her room to grab her supplies, leaving Comet alone by himself.
"Don't you worry, MC. I'm coming for you, bro," Comet quietly whispered to himself, let the resolve to help his friend drive away any fear that he may have had.
"Well, this isn't going how I expected it to go," Comet dryly remarked as he stepped out of the portal with Marcia in tow. Instead, they found themselves standing amidst a dull, grey-looking, dismal landscape in an unknown location. Everything around the two teens was marked with utter desolation and devoid of color. As Marcia stepped out of the portal and onto the ground, she noticed there wasn't even a patch of plant life to be found. It was like nature itself refused to grow in this place. The rest of the environment, she saw, fared little better. The rocks, of which there were many dotting the landscape, were a dismal grey. The sky was blanketed in a thick overcast that stretched on for miles on end, denying even sunlight. It was like the whole place had all the happiness and joy of life sucked out of it, leaving behind only a desiccated husk.
"Yeah, I don't think this is MC's cell. Where'd you send us?" Marcia asked.
"I don't know. I'm usually pretty accurate with these scissors," Comet said as he inspected the magical artifact for telltale signs of damage. That's when he happened to glance upward and saw it. "Never mind," Comet gulped. "I know where we are."
"Where?"
"The gates of Hell," Comet ominously said while pointing in the direction he'd been looking. That's when she saw what he'd been looking at. Standing there, in the middle of the badlands, was a gigantic stone structure. Marcia could see a massive, grand Victorian-style mansion towering over the landscape and flanked by numerous stone towers. The entire building was ringed by a gigantic, menacing-looking stone wall, covered in barbed wire and patrolled by familiar-looking guards. Just beyond the walls lay a gigantic moat and drawbridge. All told, the place looked like a cross between Alcatraz and a 19th-century Gothic mansion. And judging by the way that Comet was looking at the site like he'd seen a ghost, Marcia was able to figure out what she was looking at.
"So that's it, huh?" Marcia asked, to which Comet simply nodded. "Huh, I thought it would more resemble a military school, given its name," she joked, trying to ease her friend's tension, to no avail. That's when she heard the telltale sound of another portal opening up behind him. Turning her head on a dime, Marcia looked behind her to see an ominous-looking carriage, pulled by bellowing unicorns, coming out of the portal and barreling right towards them!
"Comet, get down!" Marcia shouted as she grabbed her fear-stricken friend and had them leap to safety behind a nearby rock. The carriage continued to rush by, the unicorns and whoever was driving it not even seeming to notice the two teens they came dangerously close to running over. Marcia held her breath for a few seconds, keeping Comet next to her on the ground while she quietly perked her head up, checking to make sure that they weren't spotted. To her relief, the carriage didn't break its pace as it continued on the path towards Sgt. O's.
"That was too close. You alright, Comet?" Marcia asked, only to be met with silence. Then, as the girl began to look at her best friend in concern, she saw that his face was completely frozen in fear. He just kept staring at the school like he was in a state of shock, oblivious to everything happening around him.
At this point, Marcia was concerned that this behavior may not have just been him acting overly dramatic. "Comet? Are you still in there?" Marcia whispered as she crawled up next to him, the prior incident forgotten. "If you want this rescue to go off without a hitch, I can't afford you getting the thousand-yard stare on me!"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm here, Marcia. It's just...I'm a little freaked out that I'm standing outside the place that my parents have threatened to send me to for years," he admitted.
"Point taken, but I need you to focus, bro," Marcia told him. "Now, help me scope out the place for possible entry points."
As Marcia said that, the carriage opened, letting a group of half a dozen or so princes of various shapes and sizes come out and line up before the school gates. Standing there, flanked by two robotic guards, was a small, 3 foot tall, purple woman. She had her hair tied up in a bun, a peg leg, scars on her face, and one of her eyes seemed to be missing while the other was covered by what looked like a cross between a yellow gemstone and steampunk goggles.
"Ah, yes, the new students have arrived at last. My name is Geminine, and on behalf of the Headmaster, welcome to Sgt. Oleg's Reform School for Wayward Princes." The moment that the tiny figure said that, lightning appeared in the background, lighting up the landscape like a horror movie and revealing a previously unseen energy dome covering the school.
It was a good thing that the lightning came when it did because it prevented anyone from hearing Comet's screaming, even as Marcia put a hand over his mouth to keep him from giving away their position.
"Keep it down, Comet. Do you want to get us caught?" She hissed at him. "Now, let's think. There are new arrivals, which gives us the perfect cover for us to get inside. Now, all we have to do is develop some sort of disguise that will help us blend in." Comet's face lit up like a lightbulb as she said this, and he began to raise his Wand.
"Radiant Shadow Transform!" he quickly shouted as his Wand began to glow before enveloping him in a neon-colored light. When the light had subsided, Marcia saw Comet's new attire. In place of his usual, colorful clothing, he was now wearing what could only be described as a royal biker's outfit. His boots were now spiky black cleats with skulls on the side. The striped shirt and open green hoodie combo were discarded in favor of a black shirt with a flaming purple heart on the front and a leather biker's jacket with sleeves that stopped just below his elbows, revealing a set of black, leather bracer/gloves combo. His bright, devil-pointed hat had been replaced with a black beanie with a skull on it, the devil horns absent. To complete the ensemble, Comet had an eyepatch over his left eye. All told, the boy looked like a regular gangster...and he pulled it off pretty damn well.
"Wow. Nice costume!" Marcia said, complimenting the boy as he punched at the air. "Do me, do me!" she said, begging Comet to give her a sweet-ass costume.
"Alrighty, then. I've got the perfect disguise for you!" Marcia squealed as she closed her eyes and felt a light tap on her head as Comet quickly said, "Radiant shadow transform!" After a quick flash, the light subsided, and Marcia opened her eyes to find Comet holding out a mirror to show her reflection. She was...surprised at what she saw.
The outfit that Comet had given her wasn't the punk design that he gave himself. Instead, Marcia was clad in a very Renaissance-esque outfit made of a mixture of various shades of purple, complete with poofy shoulder frills, purple leggings, and a purple cape tied to her neck that flowed down past her shoulders. As for her hair, it was currently tied up in the back into a short ponytail. Atop her head was a purple hat that reminded her of the kind worn by Leonardo Da Vinci's fictional portrayal in the Assassin's Creed franchise. In fact, much of her outfit reminded Marcia of what Leonardo wore in the games.
"Aw, man," Marcia sulked as she looked at her reflection. "I wanted one of those cool guard outfits. But instead, I got stuck cosplaying someone out of a Renaissance fair. And it's not even my color!"
"I don't know, Marcia," Comet said, casually looking her over from head to toe. "Purple looks pretty good on you, and unless you look carefully enough, you can't even tell that you're a girl," he said with a grin, causing Marcia to deadpan.
"And what's that supposed to mean?" she asked accusingly. "Are you saying that I normally don't look like a girl?" She didn't even know if she wanted to hear his answer. Though, thankfully, she didn't have to.
"Less talking, more breaking and entering," Comet told her as he began to make his way towards the carriage, making Marcia shrug her shoulders.
Fuck it. Lots of women, both real and fictional, have dressed in men's clothing. Joan of Arc, Hua Mulan, Anne Bonney, and Mary Read, Oscar François de Jarjayes. I'm just following in their footsteps, Marcia told herself. Besides, maybe Jackson likes girls who dress like this. She couldn't help but giggle at this as she went to join Comet.
Quietly, the two made their way behind the carriage before peering at the waiting line of princes. Seeing that the guards weren't looking in their direction, the two nodded and then slipped into the back of the line. Comet stealthily used a spell to shrink his Wand until it could fit inside his pockets without arousing suspicion. As for the scissors, he slid them underneath his right bracer, making sure the blade was obscured from view, but at the same time, not at risk of slitting his wrist. Taking a deep breath, Comet then stepped forward as the little, purple cyclops motioned everyone to come forward.
"Single file, now, people. Mr. Abhorrent, your Headmaster, is eager and begin the reformation process," the little woman said as he urged the Princes forward, with the guards keeping a careful eye on them.
As Comet and Marcia followed the rest of the group past the guards, across the drawbridge and moat, and underneath the thick, metal gates, Comet was fighting tooth and nail to not scream out in a panic. He had loathed the very existence of this school his entire life and had long ago vowed to do everything in his power to keep himself out of it. Yet here he was, willingly entering it for the sake of his oldest friend. The irony was not lost on the boy, and the thought of MC languishing in this place for months only hardened his resolve to free him. Yet when faced with one's biggest fear, all the will in the Universe could do little to help Comet. And as the gates closed behind them and they were led into the main building, Comet felt fear.
"Marcia..." Comet whispered to his accomplice in fear.
"Keep calm, Comet, and don't blow our cover. I'm with you." Marcia said in a reassuring tone, making Comet smile. As the group walked across the courtyard, which was a bleak and lifeless as the rest of the place, Marcia looked around at the various buildings she found. They were a lot nicer than what she had expected, given how Comet was always railing against this place. Soon, though, the group was then ushered in through a pair of giant wooden doors into a gigantic, poshly decorated lobby. As they were led into what appeared to be a waiting room of some sort, the royals passed by multiple other princes in varying conditions. Some looked utterly defiant in the face of those essentially holding them prisoner, while others looked ready to piss themselves. Much to Comet's sadness, far too many had this blank, glassy look in their eyes, like all the joy had been ripped right out of them.
Those poor bastards, Comet thought to himself. I can't let MC suffer like this anymore, he told himself as he and his bestie went inside the waiting room and stood at attention. Then, the lights went out, and a gigantic screen projector came down from the ceiling as various images began to play.
Play St. Olga Informercial- /oq9Ws6bUXdY
"Don't allow your noble lineage to be thrown away! Here at the tried and trusted Sgt. Oleg's,"
"Sgt. Oleg's,"
"...we have a plethora of foolproof security measures! No dimensional scissors, no magic, and most importantly, no girls!"
"School..."
"And, etiquette are the main focus for-"
"For..."
"Your troubled wayward Prince."
"Wayward Princes..."
"We turn undisciplined behavior into perfection."
"Perfection..."
"That free-thinking one-in-a-million brat will become a one-in-a-million emotionless rubber stamp that your bloodline can count on."
At last, the introductory video (which, in Marcia's personal opinion, was very poorly done) came to an end, and the lights came back on. The small purple woman, Geminine, and some of the guards with her were all clapping to this.
"How wonderful. It gets me every time," Geminine emotionally said before standing before the group once more. "And now, without further ado, I present to you the Headmaster of this fine institution, Mr. Abhorrent."
The door then opened once more, and a man came in. Many of the Princes gasped as they saw who it was, Comet among them.
The man standing before them looked to be the textbook definition of the 'stern headmaster' trope. He wore a purple, Victorian-era suit, but whereas Marcia's disguise was more vibrant, his was an unhealthy shade of purple, like something someone threw up. Underneath the purple jacket was a black dress shirt with grey cuffs sticking out of the sleeves, with a bolo tie, polished black dress shoes, and a black cane topped with a matching, purple bell in one hand. As for the man himself, his face was surprisingly porcelain in appearance. Despite the obvious fact that he was aged, his skin appeared devoid of many of the wrinkles and creases one would expect to find. It did, however, appear uncomfortably pale, like he hadn't seen sunlight in ages. His fluffy white hair was immaculately combed, making for a strange combination. The same went for his beard that curled upwards on his face until it left a bare patch above his lips. His pointed nose and sharpened nails gave him the air of an aristocratic demon, while his steely grey eyes looked like they could pierce one's soul. Completing everything was a tiny mole on his left cheek, in the exact opposite position of Marcia's.
The man didn't speak, at least not at first. Instead, he quietly walked up and down the line, casually looking over each and every one of them like a predator sizing up his next meal. Once he had reached the end of the line, opposite of where Comet and Marcia stood, he finally spoke.
"Welcome, new students." When he spoke, he did so with a proper and sophisticated manner about him, like one in charge and who knew it. "Welcome, to Sgt. Oleg's Reform School for Wayward Princes."
Comet had to bite down on his lip so hard to keep himself from screaming that he was certain it had started bleeding, much to Marcia's concern.
"Each and every one of you are here for a reason. Too wild. Too opinionated." The Headmaster's eyes soon rested on one Prince who was casually blowing a bubble with his bubblegum. Without even changing the scowl on his face, Mr. Abhorrent walked up to the teen before extending one of his nails, filed to the point they resembled claws, and popped the bubble. "Too bubbly," he said with a glare that made the poor Prince want to crawl into a corner and hide.
"Regardless of the reason, though, there is one thing that you all have in common with each other. Do any of you know what that is?" None of the people dared to speak up—none, that is, save for this Prince with four arms at his side.
"That we're all too good-looking?" The boy sassed, much to everyone's shock. The Headmaster didn't say a word in response to this, though. Rather, he just walked right up to the four-armed Prince...and promptly slapped him across the face. The blow wasn't enough to send the boy stumbling to the floor; it wasn't even enough to leave a lasting mark. It did, however, remove the smug look on the royal's face.
"Wrong!" Mr. Abhorrent shouted in the Prince's face. "It's that each and every one of you is a failure! When you came into this world, you were born with the responsibilities of being a part of a noble lineage. You were expected to listen, to learn, to know how to be a proper ruler. And yet, for one reason or another, you have all failed in your obligations to do so! You are not only failing yourself, but you're forgetting a lineage that has spent hundreds of years maintaining order over the common rabble! Do you hear me?!"
"Y-yes, sir," the Prince then meekly said, earning him a pat on the cheek from the same man who had, just moments ago, slapped him.
"Very good; you're already learning," he said with a sinister smirk before turning to look at the rest of the teenagers. "And as for the rest of you, remember this as your first lesson as our prestigious institution. You are not individuals. You are a part of something far greater than yourselves. Something that you have to maintain above all. Being an individual is not something that you have the luxury of enjoying. So by the time you leave this school, I'll have fixed each and every one of you." As he got to the end of the line, the man's steely eyes rested on Comet Dragonfly. "Whether you're from Pixtopia, or Mewni." To Comet's surprise, the Headmaster then reached out with one of his claws and pressed it against his cheekmark. It began to turn an unhealthy blue color before it began to crackle and break. At that moment, Comet felt like the very veins in his body were being frozen, making him shiver with fear.
As this was going on, one of the other Princes, a two-head being with matching bob-cuts, pulled out a set of dimensional scissors with an eager look on their face. This, however, did not last long, as they were then promptly yanked out of their hands by Mr. Abhorrent.
"Don't bother," he said as he walked towards the window, where one particular tower was giving off a rainbow-colored light show. "We have a Tramorfidian crystal in Tower 3. No dimensional rift can hope to sustain itself so long as it's within these walls. So you might as well cough up the dimensional scissors that you all smuggled in here."
Each and every one of the Princes groaned as loudly as possible at this. Then, one by one, they each pulled sets of dimensional scissors from their pockets, coats, and any other location where they feasibly hide them.
Comet groaned as he felt the despair beginning to sink in. "It's hopeless, Marcia. We're trapped here." He began to reach for the scissors underneath his bracer, only to be met with Marcia's hand on said.
"What are you doing?" Marcia looked at him. "We'll need them to get us out of here, remember?"
"Oh, right. Can't believe I almost gave up there," Comet said. Fortunately, none of the guards or the Headmaster seemed to notice Comet as he slipped the scissors back beneath his bracer. They were too busy looking over one Prince who had managed to bring in several pairs of scissors. He had one in his coat pocket and another underneath his hat. Then, to everyone's further confusion, the Prince proceeded to remove his boot before tapping on it...thus making several more pairs of scissors fall onto the floor. Needless to say, everyone, from the Headmaster to the other Princes, was left stunned.
"How did you even walk?" Mr. Abhorrent finally asked.
"Will and determination" was all the Prince would say regarding that.
"O-kayyy," Mr. Abhorrent said in response as he then bent down to collect all the scissors. "Geminine, I'm going to go put these with the others. I trust that you will finish their orientation and see to their living quarters?"
"Yes, sir," the little she-gremlin said, giving a salute.
"Very good, Geminine," Mr. Abhorrent said, offering the faintest of smiles before his face became very stern once more. "This concludes your orientation. I'm confident that each of you will become the perfect models of royalty that everyone expects you to be. One way or another." And with that, the Headmaster of Sgt. O's left the room.
"Now then. Let us get you all checked into your rooms so that we can begin sucking the individuality and free-thinking out of you," the purple woman said as she ushered the guards to escort them to their new rooms, with Comet and Marcia bringing up the rear.
"What do we do now?" Comet whispered. "If I pull my Wand out, we can take out all these chumps and slip away."
"Do that, and they'll put the entire place on lockdown. We'll never find MC that way," Marcia told him. "We need to be subtle about this."
"And what do you suggest, your highness?" Comet sarcastically asked. Marcia just smirked.
"Watch this," she said. Then, clearing her throat, Marcia worked to get her voice down as deep as possible before speaking once more. "Yo, I hear that the first one to get checked in gets their own room with a massage bed."
"Did someone say massage bed?!" One of the Princes yelled out. And then, all Hell broke loose, as each of the royals began to run as fast as they could in whatever direction the guards had been leading them, leaving Geminine and the other guards stunned.
"Oh for the love of-not again," Geminine grumbled, evidently having dealt with this in the past. "Get back here! You will respect my authoritah, you hear me? Respect my authoritah!" Geminine shouted as she and the other guards ran down the hallway in the direction of the other Princes. Had they bothered to look behind them, they would've noticed that they were short on two Princes, with Comet and Marcia having slipped away amidst all the confusion.
"See anything?" Comet asked.
"No," Marcia told him. "We're clear. Let's move." Not needing to be told twice, Comet followed his best friend's orders as the two continued to carefully make their way down the school's halls.
"You know, this place isn't what I thought it would be," Comet whispered to his accomplice as they paused at another corner, with Marcia motioning for him to get down and lay low. As he did so, a guard happened to be passing by while on patrol. For a moment, the Prince tensed and, without even realizing it, got out his scissors to use as a makeshift hidden blade, ready to fall upon the guard if necessary. Fortunately, he never had to, as the school's robotic guardian continued walking in the opposite direction, ignorant to the two teens freely roaming the halls.
"I know, right?" Marcia replied once she was certain they were out of earshot range. "Given this place's name and how you're always going on about it, I expected it to be this brutal military school. But look at it. It's just some high-surveillance, prissy finishing school. We'll bust MC out of here no problem," she confidently told her roommate.
"Okay, three things, Marcy," Comet replied. "First, did you not see how that pale-faced goblin slapped that Prince? In what school is that justified?"
"Okay, I'll admit. That guy gives me the creeps," Marcia conceded. "But that doesn't make this whole place bad by default."
"Point number two: the security is tighter than it was when we tried to rescue Aqua from Diavolo." As if to prove his point, the two had to take cover behind more furniture as yet another guard passed them by.
"Well, given how it's a school for royalty, the security seems justified," Marcia countered. "Plus, these guys won't try to kill us. Diavolo's did."
"They may not be trying to kill us physically, but they don't seem to mind crushing our souls," Comet retorted as they kept moving. Then he saw something that made his blood run cold. "Which brings me to my final point: this place is even worse than what I thought it would be like. And there's your proof."
Looking in the direction Comet was pointing in, Marcia was surprised to find, standing in the middle of a small garden, was Glorkon, the giant bird-creature that tried to steal Comet's face so he could get out of Stg. O's. He looked completely different, though. He was now dressed in regal attire, complete with a fancy cape and high-quality pants. However, the biggest difference was that he no longer had those crystal creatures in his eyeholes, leaving them empty. However, the lack of eyes did not seem to hinder his sight, as he was looking down at a mannequin dressed in princess attire while some teacher in a drill sergeant's outfit was watching him.
"All right, big bird. Let's try this one more time. What do you do when you're attempting to court a lady?" The sergeant asked him.
"Uh, hold on. I know this. I totally know this! But, I, um, hold on a minute, I need to think on this," After a moment's pondering, Glorkon then approached the mannequin. "Hello there, my lady. You look lovely this evening. Would you care to dance with me?" The instructor nodded his head in approval.
"You see? Their methods may be a little harsh, but you know the kind of people who get sent here. So you can't tell me that they don't need some improvement," Marcia said as the two continued on, with Comet looking at her like she was speaking in a foreign language.
"And, uh, after that's down, we can totally go back to my place and plug out on some power babies while we explore each other's holes and-and talk about how many kids we wanna have!" Glorkon said to the mannequin as he tried to grab it, only to be shocked the moment he touched it.
"Wrong again, maggot!" The instructor sternly yelled at the bird-creature. "Now we are going to stay here, and we are going to get this right, no matter how long it takes!"
As Comet and Marcia continued through the school, they also happened to pass by several classrooms, with Comet taking the time to point each of them out. "Look at that, Marcia. Do you know what's being taught in that classroom? 'Remedial throne posture.' That might as well be called 'Mental and Physical Torture 101!'"
"Well, there are health benefits to having good posture, Comet," Marcia tried to argue.
"And that!" Comet pointed to another room that said "Court Flattery 101." "That's just a fancy way of saying 'How to Kiss the Asses of Everyone Above You!'"
"Don't you think that you're letting your own personal feelings cloud your judgment on this, Comet?" Marcia suggested as they entered the dormitories.
"No," Comet bluntly said, not even bothering to hide the disdain in his voice. "Trust me on this, Marcia. This place isn't a school. It's a prison."
"How can you say that, Comet?" Marcia said as she gestured towards one of the dorm rooms. As the two looked inside, they saw that it looked like the absolute furthest thing from a prison. "I mean, just look at the intricate floral ornamentation of that armoire. And-" Marcia gasped, "the rich, hand-carved mahogany of that canopy and desk. Not to mention the silken curtains and feather-filled pillows-"
"How do you even know they have feathers in them?" Comet questioned, but Marcia didn't seem to hear him.
"And there's enough velvet in that bedspread for me to swim in. This place looks like a five-star luxury hotel for royalty."
Oh, sweet corn, I've lost her, Comet thought to himself as he saw his friend be seduced by the hollow extravagance of this accursed school. Realizing that nothing he could say would change her mind, Comet let out a heavy sigh. "A prison's still a prison, Marcia. No matter how poshly decorated it may look," he wearily said, finally catching her attention as Marcia realized how potentially insensitive she was towards him.
"Comet, I..."
"It's fine, Marcia. I know you didn't mean anything by it," Comet gave her a reassuring smile. "Let's just find MC and get out of here."
After a few more minutes of searching in awkward silence, Comet heard a "Psst" coming from Marcia. Making his way towards her, he saw her looking inside one of the dorm rooms, where a familiar, floating, horned figure could be seen staring out a window.
"MC!" Comet squealed in excitement before he began to back up. "Don't worry, bro. Comet's about to come crashing down!" Just as he began to run forward, though, Marcia held up a hand to stop him.
"Nope. No way, Jose. We're trying to do this without the guards swarming all over us, remember?" Marcia then got out her lockpicking tools and began to work at the door.
"That's no fun, though," Comet scoffed. "Besides, my way is a lot quicker, and it could end up taking several minutes for you to-"
"Done," Marcia said as the familiar *click* of the tumblers on the door could be heard. "Man, I think I may have just given Jonah a run for his money.
"Huh."
"What is it? Did you mess something up on my statue? Because if you did, it's coming out of your pay, Ordonia!" Brittney said, scolding him.
"Nah. I don't know why, but I've got this feeling of pride just now for some reason. Oh well; it's probably nothing."
As Marcia began to gently open the door, Comet couldn't contain his excitement any longer. So, being Comet Dragonfly, he decided to forgo caution, jump right into the room, and break out into song and dance.
"~I am here 'cause I have to say, happy birthday on your birthday day!~"
"Comet! Do you want to get us caught!?" Marcia admonished him as she followed her friend into the room.
"Oh, lighten up, Marcia," Comet said. "The hard part's over."
"No, getting to MC was the easy part. Getting him out without getting caught is the hard part," Marcia tried to argue, only for Comet to brush him off.
"Whatever," he said before he turned to MC. "MC, guess who's here to bust you out?" Yet to Comet's confusion, his best friend didn't respond. "MC, it's us. You know, your best bro in the Universe and his roommate? We came to bust you out so we can partaaay!" Comet began to wave his hands in the air like he just didn't care. However, MC still did not respond. He did, however, begin to turn around so he could look at the two. And when he did, Comet forgot to breathe for a moment out of shock. MC's head/body was powdered to a ridiculous degree, his flowing mane was combed and tied neatly into an 18th-century ponytail, and his eyes had this big, glassy look to them while he sported the most unnatural smile.
"My deepest apologies, but I'm afraid that I must refrain, for partying is for the unrefined," MC said in a voice that sounded so posh and artificial that Comet could've sworn that it sounded like it was coming from a robot.
Comet just stood there, looking at what had become of his best friend in shock.
"Whoa. Didn't see that coming," Marcia remarked.
TO BE CONTINUED!
Jay: OHHHH, SNAP! I bet you guys didn't see...actually, you probably did. This is exactly like it was in the show. But I'm sure that there were a few things about the school that you didn't see coming.
For starters, I had thought about turning the school into a military-style facility, but that failed to give me any good ideas. Also, as it was, St. Olga's was a monument to everything that Star saw as wrong with being royalty rolled into one. I thought that it was best not to mess with that concept. Instead, I built upon it and better explained why Sgt. Oleg's offends Comet on every level as a person. For someone who values his freedom so much, Comet sees it as his own personal Hell.
But enough about that. For now, let's get into
READER'S REVIEWS
NightAroma-Like I said, I couldn't think of a way to make the military school angle work. So, why bother? Also, I'm hoping that I live up to the hype when the time comes.
LockAndKey989-1.) Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. 2.) Hell yeah, she won! 3.) For the record, that phrase is going to be the Septarian's equivalent to the Nazi Salute. And you'll understand why one day.
Julayla-Yes, it was a Camp Lazlo reference. I loved that show as a kid. BTW, Lumpus is on my list of adults that I would deliberately anger. He's such a jerk.
Guest 1-I wish everyone in the fandom would read this.
FungusDungus000-Let's just say that there's a reason why the Septarians hate Mewmans more than any other group of Monsters. And yes, Mark Hamill is the voice for Mr. Abhorrent.
The Wandering Hippie-One thing I've noticed in all good parent-child conflicts is that both sides usually have a point, and recognizing that is how they reconcile in the end. And I wanted to do that for Karla and Carl.
Also, to all those who would bash you for having an opinion on Queen, I want to ask you to say it again. Only this time *Cocks his Thompson Submachine Gun* say it with your chest. I respect your opinion, Hippie, and say 'to each their own'. Also, to be honest, I wanted to do that arc so I could have an excuse to use that song and recreate one of the greatest moments in music history.
And for the record, I believe Freddie Mercury was bisexual. And I don't know who the spider is. I just came up with him at random.
Mlpbrony fan15-Thank you, my fellow brony. That's right, I'm a brony; deal with it!
See you guys next week. I can't wait to show you how Comet and Marcia will get out of this one!