From what could feel like hours, the man slowly woke up only to find himself alone on the cold hard ground, wondering where he was exactly.
Dipper: Ugh...Where am I? Mabel? Pacifica? Candy?
The atmosphere felt eerie and gloomy with a sense of impending doom...Like a certain event when a triangle demon was unleashed.
He gets up, feeling a bit dizzy but still standing.
Dipper: C'mon Dipper, what is the last thing you remember?
Placing a hand on his head he tried to remember what happened but before he could, he heard a scream...A very familiar scream.
Dipper: What the!?
When his head finally cleared the Pinetree realized that he was still in Gravity Falls but the big difference was... weirdmageddon never ended.
Dipper: W-What? This can't be happening, why is this...what in the name of time baby is going on?
The mystery twin asked looking up, down and around, the nightmarish..no the weird environment that came from some of the most difficult challenges of his life. and the source of the scream was none other than Candy running from flying eyeballs
Candy : Get away! Get away you winged optical demons!
Dipper: Oh no Candy! I gotta help her.
Candy : You won't take me alive!
She said tossing rocks, junk, whatever she could get her hands on at them, which wasn't much. Seeing the korean girl doing what she could to survive, Dipper ran towards her as fast as possible.
Dipper: Candy!
Candy: Dipper!
Then before his very eyes the Korean girl started turning to stone, feet first.
Candy : DIPPER!
Dipper: WHAT? NO! He screamed in desperation seeing how that was happening again, those damn eyes. Turning them into stones for a literal throne made from it.
Candy: Dipper I...I love yo-
Were her last words before she was completely turned to stone and carried off to Bill's fortress. The only thing he could do at that moment was to suddenly fall on his knees, eyes wide still trying to understand the situation...it happened so far, a feeling of anger and sadness swelling up in the pit of his stomach.
Dipper: I don't understand...we defeated him! We...
He could hear him. His laughter coming from that pyramid fortress of his. He was alone. Just watched one of his significant others turned to stone and taken away with no knowledge if the others have met the same fate.
Dipper: Bill...That thing... I hate him! I hate that fucking piece of Dorito shaped asshole! This is it, I'm going to reduce his existence to nothing.
His destination set he just needed a plan and some gear to take out that demon.
Dipper: I gotta find a general store.
Sneaking, running and crawling through the wreckage of weirdmageddon he manages to find a general store with the window already smashed open and several holes in the walls and ceiling.
Dipper: That one will be perfect.
Dashing across the street the Pines man makes his way inside and starts looking for anything useful. Given it's Gravity Falls you never know what you might find.
Dipper: I'm not a kid anymore, and I don't play by any rules when this is going on.
As he was looking around and collecting whatever was useful his thoughts went to the Mystery Shack. His friends hid there last time. Maybe they're still using it as a base.
Dipper: Ok, first things first. I need to check if anyone is at the shack and make sure they're safe. Then come up with a plan together.
Weapon in hand, he makes his way out unfortunately for him he ran smack into that weirdo with the arm coming out of his head.
Dipper: Shit! What even is the purpose of that thing?
Head : Oh hey, I remember you! You're the rude guy who refused to get in my mouth!
It dragged itself towards him to try and eat him.
Head: Please do the good manner of getting inside my mouth.
Dipper: No one wants to get in your mouth! Why would ANYONE want that?!
He said running past him to get to the forest.
Dipper: Your existence makes no sense!
Head: You don't make any sense!
Ignoring the creepy head with an arm on top of its skull Dipper pass through the woods like a hunter that knew those parts better then anyone.
Dipper: Come on everyone... please be ok...
He runs through the forest to get to the shack quickly but on the way there he keeps finding pieces of stone on the way. Some of which still intact enough to resemble body parts of the many creatures that live there.
Dipper: Damn it! This is so cruel, treating life as nothing but toys to break.
After running through what seemed more like a stone graveyard than a forest he finally reaches the shack. But... Its more of a wreak than usual. Seeing one of the most historic places of his life look like that pained him.
Dipper: Who did that?
It seemed like numerous large objects were tossed into the shack, wreaking the place and making it uninhabitable.
Dipper: The unicorn spell doesn't defend against normal objects... So they just tossed boulders and vehicles inside...
To think someone would be smart enough to understand that weakness, now it came back to bite. Going inside he sees just how devastating the attack was. The roof pretty much nonexistent, holes in the walls. It would be a miracle if anyone survived.
Dipper: Shit, its like an avalanche of rocks came here. Did anyone managed to get out in time?
His question was answered when he head moans and groans of pain coming from a gnome sized pile of rubble.
Dipper: What?
He looks around at the sounds source to see where it was coming from exactly. The weirdmaggedon survivor finds a tiny hand sticking out of the rubble and proceeds without batting an eye to remove the rocks. Once the debris was clear he finds none other than the leader of the gnomes, Jeff. Well...what's left of him anyway.
Jeff: Cough Cough Whos there?
Dipper : It's me Jeff. It's Dipper. What happened? Where is everyone?
Jeff: Damn...you're still alive? Such resilience.
Dipper: Answer me! What happened?!
Jeff : What do you think happened?! Ugh... They're outside...that graveyard you walked through is what's left of everyone. They smoked us out with their bombardment and the eyeballs took care of the rest...
Dipper: No...Are...Are they all dead?! Is that what your telling me?
Jeff : No...your family and friends...he took them...to his fortress...But good luck getting in there... There's no hope...It's...over...
The gnome said slowly dying in the Pines arms.
Dipper: Its only over when I draw my last breath.
The mystery twin said feeling anger boiling up at the pit of his stomach.
Jeff : Good luck...You're gonna...need it... The tiny leader took his last breath. Leaving this earth then and there.
Dipper: You will pay for all of this Bill...
Setting down the broken gnome, The determined survivor goes down into Ford's lab for anything that can be of use. A laser gun, that magnet gun he uses, Mabel's grappling hook, anything.
Dipper: Need heavy firepower.
It's the mystery shack, there's bound to be something to use. Even at a time like this...
Dipper: Alright guys...here I come.
Geared up and ready to go he looked out towards the Pyramid fortress where his friends and family were held. Along with the the monster who held them captive.
While Dipper was having a mental fight of one of the worst and most dangerous moments ever in history, his friends and sister were in a similar situation. The sister half of the Pines twins was shedding tears as she tried to block out the taunts and jeers of her own friends, brother and strangers as her breasts grew out of control. Maybe they were right. Maybe that's all that she would be remembered for. A walking pair of melons bouncing about making a fool out of herself.
Mabel: Damn it...So this is how it ends. Nothing more then a huge puddle of boobs, just like always.
? : You don't really believe that do you?
Mabel was startled hearing a familiar little voice. She looked around trying to find the source.
? : Over here silly!
She looks and sees a small version of her twelve year old self standing on her shoulder.
Mabel: Little...me?
Kid Mabel: Its so dark and cramped around here, nothing little light can't resolve.
Mabel : That's gonna be kinda difficult...
Kid Mabel: Jeez what happened to us Girl?
Mabel: I have grown up...a little too much. Now I'm drowning by myself.
Kid Mabel: So you got a little meat on your chest. So what? You really gonna let that stop ya from enjoying your life?
Mabel: Its just...every time I go outside everyone stares at them, it brings some...unwanted attention sometimes.
Kid Mabel : Unwanted attention? We're Mabel! The Weird, attention grabbing, rowdy, party house, alpha twin! We don't hide what we have! We flaunt it for the world to see!
Mabel: What if what I have is something that gives me constant back pain and is embarrassing?
Kid Mabel: More embarrassing than dating a guy that turned out to be a bunch of gnomes?
Mabel: I didn't know at the time!
Kid Mabel: We made a whole puppet show for a guy who was more into Puppets than girls. We freed a president from a peanut brittle prison! We messed with Time and Space! We sang a bunch of zombies back into the grave!
Mabel: Yeah but all that was made by the cute and innocent me! Now look at me, I'm an adult still acting like a kid with a huge sack of potatoes over its chest. Can anyone take me serious? Is there a guy who will see me for more then just eye candy?
Kid Mabel : You already know the answer to that. In fact there are two answers! You helped free his sea kingdom just recently!
Mabel: Almost got married to a supervillan rip off though.
Kid Mabel: And then blasted him out of the kingdom.
Mabel: yeah it was pretty wacky huh?
Kid Mabel: Just like we are.
Mabel: Forever?
Kid Mabel : We grow up on our terms!
Mabel: And if its too late? Do guys like a ditsy girl?
Kid Mabel: There's somebody for everybody! Remember?
Mabel: Even me?
Kid Mabel: Duh! Of course, have you forgotten?
Mabel: Huh?
Kid Mabel: That guy at the diner! He didn't see your breasts the whole time you were talking to each other!
Mabel: Huh...Oh yeah
Kid Mabel: And he even gave us cake, so good it was like a piece of heaven.
Mabel: I've never tasted anything so good in my life...
Kid Mabel: If those aren't signs that he's the one I don't know what is.
Mabel: What was his name again?
Kid Mabel: C'mon...You know...Try to remember.
Mabel: ...Lincoln!
Kid Mabel: That's right, now c'mon. Get up and lets get out of this puddle of depression.
Mabel: He was so nice... He made me feel like a person.
Kid Mabel: You are a person! Who are you girl?!
Mabel: I'm a darn good women!
The bubbly girl gets up from her current state and tries to climb her away out of her self pity space and show everyone how confident she is, that no matter what.
Kid Mabel: WHO ARE YOU?!
Mabel: I am Mabel Pines! Survivor of weirdmageddon! Conqueror of Unicorns! Maker of cute and comfortable sweaters! Friend of pigs and cute creatures! The Shooting Star!
She said that with confidence and the surrounding starts to glow in bright light. Meanwhile outside in the building sized like boobs that she had become, they were slowly growing smaller.
Mabel: My boobs are awesome! I'm sexy! And I don't care if you think otherwise, your just jealous they are natural!
Kid Mabel: Yeah! That a girl!
Mabel: I was turned to wood and survived! Got possessed by ghosts and survived! Got kidnapped by gnomes! attacked by Golfball people and survived! Because of the awesome people I surround myself with!
More and more thanks to her confidence Mabel boobs are shrinking down allowing her to pull herself together and reform into something that wasn't just a pair of breasts.
Mabel : I define who I am! No one else! You hear me universe!
Until she could breath outside once more, sitting down on her bottom and looking around while breathing hard.
Mabel: Yeah! I am back baby!
Kid Mabel: I think you can take it from here. See ya big Mabel!
She smiled at her before vanishing.
Mabel: Thanks little me.
When she looked down bellow Mabel saw her boobs had shrunk to almost nothing.
Mabel: Oops. Let me just...
Then she wills them back to her 'normal' size which was pretty big still.
Mabel: You guys are a part of me, and I should not be embarrassed or ashamed of myself for it.
She smiled taking her boobs in her hands and letting them bounce for all to see. Not caring how noticeable they are through her sweater.
Mabel: This is the real me baby! And I'm gonna wreck the world with my Mabelness.
The party members of the night realized that Mabel was now back to normal from her previous state. Soon enough they started booing her telling her that nobody wants her and the pair of stupid tits she has.
Mabel: Put a sock in it all of you!
Hands on her hips, serious look on her silly face she glares at the lot of them.
Mabel: This is me! This is who I am! Anyone who has a problem with that doesn't deserve me! Got that?!
Then she flips them the bird before swishing her hair to the side and walks away not giving two shits about what those fakers of her loved ones had to say, it was all baloney.
Mabel : Yeah I'm onto you nightmare machine! Nice try but you can't keep this party girl down!
While Mabel was coming to terms with herself, Pacifica was still living her nightmare. Being manipulated like a puppet by her parents, doomed to marry some other rich bastard who doesn't even love her.
Pacifica: (This is disgusting, treated like a disposable tool for money, manipulated like the strings of a puppet. Always, always about money!)
Preston : Now then I believe we're all satisfied with this arrangement?
Pacifica: N..nNNNHG! Her face trembles in pure indignation of how they act for pure power and influence, not caring for those they think of being beneath them.
Priscilla: Finally our daughter is living up to her name and making herself useful.
Pacifica: No.
She was done with all this bullshit, a long time ago, no more would she be treated like a pet who does everything by the sound of a bell.
Pacifica: I am useful...in the real way.
Priscilla: Hush, Daughter. Your father and I are deciding your future.
The blonde haired former rich girl grabs hold of the hooks controlling her, and with surprise force ends up pulling her parents by surprise from out of nowhere.
Pacifica: Let me help you in said decision.
She clenches her fist and punches the fat rich douchebag who pops like a balloon.
Pacifica: My future is decided by me and no one else. No one will ever treat me like a puppet! I'm a northwest, the black sheep in your eyes.
Then with bravery Pacifica tears out the hooks that were on her body trying to control her once more. The stitches ripping with them, but instead of causing bleeding or opening wounds, it frees the real her. Pulling out the fishing line holding her cheeks up restores her regular mouth. Pulling out the hooks on her arms causes the stitched skin to come off like opera gloves revealing her flawless regular arms. Her giant fake boobs come off like she was wearing fake breast forms and revealing her regular bust. And 'most important of all'
Pacifica: Hmmhnp!
She flexes her backside. Bends over. And like a cliché of a big butt causing jeans to tear, Pacifica tears the grizzly stitches wide open, and her real, magnificent, enormous butt bursts free. Even her hair falls out as she takes off her scar covered skincap.
Pacifica: You better not mess with this former rich girl...Assholes.
Turning around the women looks at their parents who had fell down the stairs.
Preston: All we've done for you and this is how you repay us?!
Priscilla: You're a failure as a daughter and a Northwest!
Pacifica: You can't blame me for acting in a way that doesn't suit you. If you're not going to support me for who I am, then I'll just carve out the life I want by myself.
Preston: You will obey us you insolent girl! That was when he pulled out that blasted bell and started ringing it...hard.
Walking downstairs slowly, Pacifica confronts them face to face and does the only logical thing in that moment.
Pacifica: Yoink!
Grabbing the bell she puts it between her big phat ass cheeks and with a innocent smirk she ANGRILY clenched them hearing a sound of metal denting.
Pacifica: Oops! Its broken, maybe you shook too hard.
She said taking out the bell back and giving it back to her douche of a father with zero fucks to give.
Priscilla: You will NEVER be one of us. You'll be just like those filthy riff raff out there! You will have NOTHING! You will BE nothing!
They glare at her along with the portraits of her ancestors donning the walls of the Northwest household, looming over her.
Pacifica: You're wrong. Money was never what made me who I am, it was just a source of shame to which you clung so desperately, it was the one thing that made us feel so much better then others. Now? I am way happier, sure I can't have ponies for my birthday anymore but, I have a horse if you catch my drift.
She thinks about a certain pinetree boy and just laughs it off. Those portraits where just a bunch of selfish and arrogate fools who thought of themselves as kings looking down at peasants who were nothing but ants to squash, but not her. She was the one who broke the cycle.
Pacifica: I am not gonna be a link in the world's worst chain. And you can't hold me back with those chains anymore. I'm gonna be my own person. And be happy with people who want me for me. If you don't like it, well at least you still have your precious money.
Turning from her disgruntled parents, the Independent Northwest walked away to greener pastures with friends and a lover waiting for her.
Pacifica: I'm a northwest. The type of northwest that will be remembered for who we are. Not what we have.
Back with Candy, she had accomplished her objectives in transforming herself to finally be with Dipper without interfere. But not without great personal cost to the insecure Korean girl.
Cheryl who was the amalgamation of all the sexy parts of the girls who got their traits stolen was enjoying what Candy always wanted, just for her but now?
Candy : (I betrayed my friends and stole what made them special... just to make myself feel better... Was it really worth it?)
She looked through her mindscape how her evil being was next to Dipper who rested peacefully in the bed after their session of love making. And it would be like this forever, with her only watching it like a third wheel.
Candy : (This is not what I wanted... But maybe it's what I deserve. What he deserves... I'm nothing special...)
?: Maybe if you kept fighting some more instead of giving up.
?: Then again loving yourself when comparing yourself to others is not easy.
?: Deep down you always thought of yourself as nothing more then a 'plain girl' huh?
?: That your friends were so much more special then you...
Candy : (Well...yeah. I mean what do I have compared to the others?)
?: Intelligence.
?: Kindness
?: We all face our own inner insecurities.
Candy: (Since when do boys care about intelligence?)
?: God damn it! Just stop sulking and turn around already!
Candy: (Huh?)
She turns around to see who's been talking to her. For her shock there were actually flying body parts...the ones she stole it. A comedic and weird vision of huge tits, ass, face and muscles going around with free will.
Maboobs: Girl your lack of self-esteem is becoming a pain.
Candy : M-Mabel? What's happening? Have I finally gone insane?
PazAss: Oh yeah like stealing us wasn't already insane...
Wendy: I'm a flying face now dude, its pretty shocking since I can't eat chips anymore with no stomach.
GrenBuff: I'm a six pack because its one of the best parts of my body. But serious though, that was uncool.
Candy : I-I'm sorry! I couldn't stop myself! P-Please forgive me!
She put her face in her hands, sobbing into them.
Maboobs: I mean sure we make the perfect body when together, but never would I think this would happen.
PazAss: A new and evil personality take over? yeah happens all the time.
Wendy : I'm pretty sure there are people who would disagree but that's not important right now. You gotta get control back Candy.
Candy: I don't...I don't know how.
GrenBuff : It's still your body girl. Assert yourself!
Maboobs : You need to remember the best part of yourself Candy.
PazAss: If Dipper only cared about our body parts then he would be just a pervert and not the one we love.
GrenBuff: Hey!
PazAss: Oh yeah, except Grenda she is kind of out there here in this group.
Wendy : He told you that himself remember?
Maboobs: You need to stop comparing your own worth to everyone else, and open your eyes to what makes Candy...Candy!
Candy : My...brain?
PazAss: While some girls would rather tie themselves to rich boys using their looks. You in the future will be super successful with your own skills, like a strong willed women in the business world of whatever.
Candy : My future in medical science...
GrenBuff: Imagine yourself inventing the cure for all kinds of weird diseases, getting those things call Nobel prize.
Candy : I could help the entire world... heck I DID help the entire world! I helped build a giant robot from a busted up old shack!
Maboobs: Yeah...Boys dig giant robots and smart girls who can actually hold a conversation that is not just about female stuff, boys have all different kinds of tastes.
Candy : True. Conversation is 70% of a relationship...
Grenbuff: Wow really? What's the other thirty?
Wendy: Sex.
Maboobs: Ahem, anyway you have way more then you let yourself know.
Candy : I need to make this right... and get my life back!
The Korean girl was ready to break free from this amalgamation of her doubts and low-self-esteem.
Candy : I am Candy! Not Cheryl! This is my life and my body! Time to take it back.
On the outside Dipper was sleeping by Cheryl's side, but then the amalgamation of a girl who was feeling victorious started being shaking her body almost like a convulsion.
Cheryl: Ugh! W-What is happening?
Candy : (Give...me...my...BODY!)
And like magic or a very convenient plot Twist, Candy pulls herself together and away from that part of her bursting free with sheer will.
Candy : I'm..I'm back... now to right the wrongs I've committed. She got out of the bed and towards the closet where she imprisoned her friends.
Cheryl: NO! Candy was then tackled by her amalgamation of girl best assets. Cheryl: You fool! If only you had remained in silence.
Candy : I will remain silent no more!
She punched the face of the monster she created.
Cheryl: Haha! You cant take me on, your too weak and I have all the muscles. I should be thankful for what you did. You were the only part left that was so pathetic! Candy: You're right. I was pathetic. Pathetic for thinking I needed you.
Cheryl: Excuse me? I'm everything you're not! Everything everyone could ever want! You're nothing!
Candy: I. AM. CANDY!
She doesn't need muscles. Cheryl goes to punch her. Candy pulls away from the arms. Instead of just tearing her arms out. She pulls Grenda whole out of Cheryl.
Cheryl: AGH!
She doesn't need giant tits. The same with Mabel. Or a massive ass. Same with Pacifica.
Cheryl: NO! STOP IT! YOU IDIOT!
The girl's assets were flying off in purple energy like they were souls going back into their actual hosts.
Candy : Under the surface Cheryl. You're the one who is nothing.
All that's left is Wendy's face, atop a body that's clearly candy's. She pulls Wendy whole out of Cheryl's neck. Leaving an exact copy of her real self looking up at her.
Candy: I don't need any of that to be loved. To be seen as a woman. The only weak part of me was the part that thought I did. I'm not going to hate myself anymore.
Cheryl: You could have had everything...
Candy : When in reality I already had all I ever needed. Goodbye Cheryl.
The Korean girl then absorbs her back into her subconscious. Just as the others start waking up, now with their assets returned.
Candy: It's over...
She opens the closet door, letting everyone out. The lot of women just fall from it like a classic scene where everyone is behind a door and you just open.
Mabel : Ughhh... what just happened to us?
Pacifica: Grenda get off!
Wendy: I feel like I went into a trip...
Grenda : Candy? Why are we here?
Candy : Well...let's just say you girls helped remind me who I am today.
Mabel: Wait why is Dipper here?
Candy: Uh... The girl sort of just shrugged her hands and calmly went towards the door leaving the other girls with no explanation.
Candy : How about we just chalk this up to some weirdness shenanigans and just go out for food or something?
Mabel: Sounds good to me.
Grenda : I have zero objections.
Pacifica: Seriously...?
Back with Dipper, he was crossing the desolate, nightmarish landscape to Bill's fortress, praying that everyone was alright. Running, jumping, rolling and hiding. That's the mantra he did in that place of nightmares.
Dipper: Of course the stupid pyramid has to be so far away...
In addition to making sure he wasn't spotted by those Eyebats he also had to keep an eye out for those henchmen of Bill's. Especially Pyronica.
Dipper: The place seems to be heavily guarded. What should I do if any of them end up wanting a fight?
He knew he needed a way to get up there unnoticed.
Dipper : I hope this grappling hook is long enough.
Aiming cautiously, he fired it, the grappling hook soaring through the air. He definitely hits something and tugs on the line to make sure it's secure.
Dipper: Ok, here goes nothing.
The line starts retracting, pulling him up towards the fortress. The intimidating pyramid looking more and more menacing the closer he got.
Dipper: Good grief, this thing looks even more ugly up close.
Eventually he managed to reach the fortress, now he just had to get inside. Luckily an opening revealed itself, releasing eyebats to collect more stone prisoners.
Dipper: (If I time this just right, maybe it will be my ticked to the inside)
As soon as the bats were cleared Dip made a jump for the opening, slipping inside before it shut.
Dipper: HMPH!
With a less than graceful landing he managed to make it inside Bill's throne room.
Dipper: Nailed it.
Bill : Yup you sure did Pine Tree.
There sitting on his twisted throne of human agony was the twisted Dorito himself, Bill Cypher.
Dipper: The Demon...
Bill : I'm impressed you actually managed to get here. You are just so much like sixer. So fun to mess with.
On each arm of his throne was one Golden Ford and one golden Stan.
Dipper: No! Let them go Bill, this has gone way too far
Bill : Heheh, and what are you gonna do about it? Oooo, big bad grown up pine tree. I think you let all those muscles go to your head. But don't worry. I can fix that.
With a snap of his fingers Dipper found himself shrunk down into his 12 year old body.
Bill : There. That's better.
Dipper: What? NO?! You cant do this.
Bill : Kid, haven't you figured it out by now? I can do whatever I want! Which includes, but not limited to, taking over your town, destroying the world and killing everyone and everything you hold dear.
Dipper: You're sick! Nothing but a damn megalomaniac THING! Who can't stay away from my life and the entire universe! why? Why so much of this bullshit?
Bill: Typical Pine Tree. Always have to have a reason for everything. Reality is but a dream. A dream I intend to take full advantage of. But I'll tell you what. Since you gave me so much entertainment Pine Tree I'll let you live to watch as I make your universe my playground and with an added bonus!
Dipper started screaming and running towards him. Bill's eye flashes a light on him and he starts levitating in front of him.
Bill: Whoa easy tiger. I haven't even told you what the bonus is yet.
Dipper: Shove it up your eyehole!
Bill: Such language! Bring them in!
Pyronica comes in and in her hands is Mabel and Pacifica. Alive and well but struggling.
Mabel : Dipper!
Pacifica: Let go you pink candle light!
Dippers: Guys! Are you two ok?
Mabel : Define ok...
Bill : The bonus is you get to choose which of them gets to live and stay with you and who dies!
Pacifica: So original it hurts...
She said rolling her eyes.
Bill: Hey! It's a tried and true method of mental torture!
Mabel: Awwn Dippy looks so cute as a kid, I forgot about that.
Dipper : Mabel, now is NOT the time!
Bill: Heheheh, this choice should be easy. I mean the love of your life against the ball and chain? Maybe I should have went with Ice instead.
Dipper: Let them go you coward and face me one on one, fair and square. Or are you afraid of getting beating by a kid?
Bill : Ahahahaha! Seriously? You're challenging an all powerful being to a fight? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one!
Dipper: You still lost to a bunch of kids last time and an old man.
Bill : Pyronica! Burn them both slowly!
Pacifica: Dipper!
Mabel: No! I don't wanna be roasted!
Dipper: Nooo! Stop it you monster! Let them go, they don't deserve this.
Bill: Hahaha! Man this is too much fun! So what are you gonna do Pine Tree? Will you save shooting star? The sibling who was totally willing to spend the rest of eternity in a fantasy land with Dippy Fresh? Or the Liama the girl who is way out of your league but loves you anyway?
Dipper: You can't make me choose one. That's not how love works.
Bill: Oh come on people do it all the time!
Dipper: How about we make a deal Bill?
Bill : Oooo you have my attention.
Dipper: You accept my challenge and If I win you let all of us go and go back to the nightmare dimension you came from.
Bill: And what kind of challenge is that per say?
Dipper: Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons! I win you let us all go and go back to your nightmare realm!
Then to show how serious he is, pinetree takes the one true item from his jacket...the infinity die.
Bill : What the heck is that?
Dipper : A gift courtesy of my uncle.
He throws the magical die preying it lands on something good.
Dipper: Gimme a good luck shot. It rolls and spins around before falling on the floor and slowly went into its result.
And that result was magic. As the throne room started changing and Dipper found himself back to normal wearing Medieval gear with Mabel and Pacifica shrunk down on a game board.
Dipper: This time we play on my rules.
Bill : Ugh, this is so nerdy. How do you live with yourself?
Pacifica: Great we're the size of game pieces... and what is it with these games leaving women practically naked?
Mabel: Could be worst, we are just gonna have to deal with it.
Dipper : Do we have a deal or not Bill?
Bill: Fine. But if I win you're gonna be my plaything/servant for all eternity.
He said holding out his hand covered in blue flame.
Dipper: You're worst then a lawyer fused with a business man.
Bill : You chickening out?
Dipper: In your dreams, lets do this!
Pacifica: So how does this game work exactly?
Mabel: Wait for it...
Dipper: Icy\Hot Swords!
Breaking the laws of physics two swords were create and covered by two opposite elements of fire and ice seared together
Mabel : Cool!
Dipper: Welcome to my dungeon Bill. Mabel and Pacifica will be my Guard captains. And you and your goon squad will be the dungeon crawlers.
Bill: Oh that's just adorable pinetree. You really think you stand a chance just because of this nerd game you probably played because no one wanted to be friends with a lonely weirdo?
Mabel : Jeez, he's mean but accurate...
Pacifica: Not helping Mabel...
Dipper: Keep yourselves on Guard!
Pacifica: Yeah, we're kinda outnumbered here.
Dipper : Don't worry girls. I have whole summers of D,D & D with Ford under my belt. I got this.
Bill : Alright Hench-maniacs. Let's get this over with. Bill and his minions consisting of Pyronica, Keyhole, Teeth, 8-Ball, Kryptos, Hectorgon, Paci-Fire and Zanthar started to crawl through Dipper's incredibly thought out Dungeon.
Pacifica: I hope this works, they look angry and hungry.
Mabel: Maybe I should try kitten fists again, it worked last time.
Dipper : Hmm... Not a bad idea Mabel. Time for Bill to see the Gravity Falls version of this game...
Bill : We're waiting Pine Tree!
Dipper : Your party is suddenly attacked by gnomes!
A bunch of very annoying gnomes with sharp pointing heads show up and they make a wall with their bodies and spear like hats to stop movement.
Shmebulock: Shmebulock!
Bill : Ha! A bunch of Gnomes? 8-Ball take care of this. The monster with literal 8-Balls for eyes goes to take care of the tiny men.
Dipper: Protect Princess Mabel with your lives! Mabel: WHAT?! Pacifica: Hey, I wanted to be a princess.
Dipper: You can't. You're already my queen.
The army of gnomes attacked 8-ball like a bunch of angry Chihuahuas. Punching, biting, screaming and more.
8-Ball: Aaahhh! Get em off! Get em off!
Mabel : Go for his eyes!
Pacifica: Yeah the one first to kill him gets a kiss from the princess here hahaha!
Mabel: Wait WHAT?
The Gnomes start Fighting even harder making 8-Ball scream louder.
Dipper : The Gnomes received a motivation boost from their princess resulting in increased damage!
Mabel: Oh Cmon! Why don't you summon some hot vampires then? Geez
Bill : Ok, this is getting ridiculous. Pyronica? The weird horned fire lady Blasts fire on 8-Ball who was covered gnomes.
Mabel: She attacked her own friend!
Pacifica: Meh...
Teeth : Oh I'm sure he's fine.
8-Ball stood there coughing up a smoke cloud, charred and burned with some pink flames still burning here and there.
Bill: You disappoint me dude, can someone just go and kill them already? You don't wanna lose to a bunch of kids right?
Dipper: I'm no kid anymore Bill. I've grown and learned much. Especially from having to deal with you.
He rolls the Infinity sided die again.
Dipper: Unicorn stampede!
Mabel: Gasps You can do that?!
There was rumbling and the next thing Bill knew a heard of Unicorns was coming right at him and his henchmen, heads down, horns ready to pierce them.
Pacifica: Those unicorns look way more buff and battle ready than the ones you guys told me once.
Mabel : They've been jacked up!
Bill : Well don't just stand there stooges! Do something!
Xanthar the biggest henchman go forward like a bulldozer. The two seemingly unstoppable forces eventually meet each other with many sharp unicorn horns stabbing into him accompanied by inhuman screeching of pain and anger.
Dipper : The unicorn stampede results in great damage and the wounds from the unicorn horns result in rainbow poisoning!
Zanthar starts having colors running up his entire body before finally collapsing.
Bill: Oh come on- are you kidding me?!
Pacifica: Seems like something Mabel would come up with...
Mabel: Thanks!
Dipper: Had enough you psycho nacho?
Bill: You think you're so funny? Lets see what you think of this!
The yellow triangle snap his fingers and gives his henchmen glowing magical armors.
Bill: Don't say I don't look after my subjects.
Dipper : Weirdness armor...
Mabel : That's bad right?
The henchman that looks like a big pair of walking teeth blasts off a energy projectile at the warnicorns like a burp.
Bill : Jeez Teeth what have you been eating? Hahaha!
Teeth: Looks like I have to eat something else after that, just burned a few calories of human meatbags hahahaha.
Pyronica: Leave me the Blonde. I wanna roast her slowly.
Pacifica: I'll stab you right in that stupid fat eye if you get any closer!
Dipper : The Unicorn cavalry has failed. Time to bring in the heavy guards! Manotaur warriors forward!
A bunch of really buff manotaurs wilding spears and some having tattoos show up and they all scream a battle cry.
Dipper : Forward!
Manotaurs : Yes Lord Destructor!
Pacifica: Destructor?
Dipper : It's the name they gave me when I tried to join them. It's a long story.
Bill: Who the hell asked for Beefjerky?
Mabel: CHARGE!
The Manotaurs roar and charge at the nightmare team.
Bill: Struggle as much as you want Pinetree, but this won't end well for you.
Dipper : Says the the triangle who took advantage of my sister to free himself.
Bill : Hey not my fault she was a selfish little brat. She's the one who couldn't accept you were finally gonna cut her loose.
All the demons laughed like gremlins at that fact, that Mabel was some arrogant brat who wanted things to go her way all the time.
Bill : Honestly it's kinda your own fault too for being a walking punching bag. I mean seriously. Have you had a single friend growing up that wasn't your pillow or a girlfriend that wasn't your right hand?
Teeth : Oh Snap!
They laughed even more while Paci-fire summoned eye-bats to deal with the Manotaurs.
Pacifica: You want to judge us based on past mistakes? Lets show them Mabel.
She said brandishing her sword.
Mabel : Yeah no one makes fun of my bro except us! And Wendy... and occasionally Gruncle Stan!
Dipper: Yeah...I feel so loved.
He said rolling his eyes.
Mabel : Can we work out our issues after we survive?
Pacifica goes in first to engage Pyronica who forms her own pink flaming sword.
Mabel : Better get those bats off our big beefy men. TO ME MY WADDLES!
Dipper: As the knight Mabel screams for her mighty steady. The pink behemoth comes forth to help
Mabel: Alright!
She climbs onto her extra large pink pig and goes to assist the Manotaurs.
Mabel: Onward my waddles!
Everyone starts fighting in pure chaos between magic creatures from this world and the other world, humans and pigs alike.
Dipper : Everything is all over the place. I gotta form a strategy!
Bill: What's wrong? You don't welcome a little chaos?
Dipper : Chaos is what got us in this mess!
Bill : Maybe if you weren't so busy building a harem you'd actually be prepared.
Dipper: I'll show you! The pine tree was getting mad.
Dipper: To show the idiotic triangle of his foolishness, dozens of flying crossbows with lightning arrows have taken form around the castle.
Bill : Oh I'm so scared.
He said sarcastically while preparing to shoot lasers from his eye. The crossbows then unloaded their electric bolts right into Bill's eye.
Bill : AGH! IN THE EYE! WHY ALWAYS IN THE EYE?!
Dipper: Sucks to be you. Dorito boy! Hahaha!
Bill : Ugh! I'm so tired of regenerating this thing!
Dipper: Critical hit! Effect, blindness! Time to push the advantage!
Mabel: Show them our scream of victory Waddles!
The cute but massive pig let's out a loud squeal while rearing upwards like a mighty steed.
Dipper: Mighty Pig Squeal! Confusion! Ready to tackle!
Mabel: CHARGE! For love and cuteness everywhere!
Waddles attacks Keyhole and 8-ball.
Mabel: Time to break the lock!
Waddles grabs Keyhole with his teeth and swings him about which giving 8-Ball a back kick.
Pacifica: Who knew a pig would be better then a warhorse?
Pyronica: He'll make some tasty bacon after I get done with you!
She said slashing at Pacifica with her pink fire sword.
Pacifica: Try me bitch! You look like a space slut from hell.
Pyronica: RAAHH!
She swings with utter fury, clashing her blade against Pacifica's.
Pacifica: You're not the worst thing I met. Being a rich girl with controlling parents was worse. AHHH!
She attacks furiously too.
Dipper: Gotta give Pacifica an edge...
Bill: No more edges.
The triangle then snaps his fingers making dark clouds surround above everyone, then green lightning bolts start to rain down only aiming at Dippers side.
Mabel: Whoa! Waddles! Whoa!
She tried to calm down her startled pig, trying not to get struck.
Pacifica: Crap!
She jumped away from Pyronica as a lightning bolt landed between them, leaving a scorch mark.
Bill: You'll all burn into chunks of coal!
Dipper: Don't panic. Don't panic. I can counter this.
He rolls the dice again.
Bill: What's the matter? Things getting to heated for ya?
Dipper: 'Don't give him the satisfaction of seeing you sweat...'
Bill: That geek thingy is not gonna help you in the long run.
Dipper: Its called dice you demented Dorito!
Bill: Oh really? Cool I want one.
His entire body suddenly turns into a mouth and starts to suck the air and the dice too.
Dipper: GAH! Oh no the Dice!
Bill: Hmmm tastes like stars. Oh! I'm so sorry, you still wanted to play with that?
Dipper: Cough it up Bill!
Bill: I'll cough up a world of pain for you and your stupid friends!
Mabel: That just sounds gross.
Bill: Take this! With the snap of fingers a set of weights is falling towards Dipper.
Dipper: AH!
The Dungeon master finds himself pinned under demonic weights.
Bill: I'm sure if you'd just picked up a heavier set. Done just a few more curls every night before bed you'd have been juuuust strong enough to beat me. It's your fault for not trying hard enough. You thought you leveled up into a redwood, but you're just a willow. Get it? Because your arms are still too thin and noodley to do anything? Come on guys laugh, this is primo stuff.
The evil henchmen go ahead and laugh, mocking the pinned Pines. Who was currently trying to get himself loose.
Mabel: Hey! Back off you butt heads!
Pacifica: That's my man you're laughing at!
Bill: Yeah what a man you got there toots. Can't even protect his family right.
Dipper: E-Everyone get back! Without the dice there's no telling what could happen!
Bill: I'll tell you what happens. You just lost!
Mabel: I think you need another poke in the eye!
Waddles squeals in what everyone assumes is anger.
Bill: You see that Pinetree? They want to attack me, what will you do?
Dipper: Ugh what can I do without the dice? I-I wasn't prepared for this!
Bill: Of course you were not ready. The yellow evil triangle then drops a bunch of books titled 'easily defeating trans dimensional entities', 'a million and one evil creatures and how to take 'em down' and 'exactly what you should have learned before this happened'
Dipper: There were books?!
Mabel: Of course not! Those are obviously just fakes with Bill's face in the pages!
Bill: What happened to the meatsack who'd stay up all night trying to figure out how to win? You suddenly get a bunch of squishy teddy bears and suddenly your more interested in exhausting yourself performing the most basic act in the history of meat life instead of using that time figuring out how to keep them safe? Or does your affection only extend to physical pleasure?
Pacifica: Of course not! He was attractive long before he beefed up. The muscles are just a bonus.
Mabel: Awww~ Paz loves Dippy.
Pacifica: Not now Mabel!
Dipper: I...I need to be prepared...for everything.
Mabel: You don't have time to overthink everything Dip! Sometimes you just gotta wing it!
Pacifica: Its impossible to be prepared for everything, look at Mabel for example, she is never ready for anything yet she is still here.
Mabel: Hey!
Pacifica: Now get out of your head and do something already!
Dipper: (What do I do? What...logic has abandoned me, all that is left...is chaos)
Bill: Hahahaha! It's game over for you Pine Tree! You and everyone else! There's no waking from this nightmare!
Dipper: Nightmare... Yeah, this is a Nightmare. And best way to fight one is with imagination!
He throws a book at his eye as a distraction.
Bill: Ow! seriously?
Dipper: MABEL! Go for his gut!
Mabel: Waddles! The Pig squealed charging at the pyramid demon and ramming into him making him cough up the infinity die.
Dipper: I'll be taking this back.
Bill: GUH! You stupid walking pile of bacon, I'll crush you!
Mabel: You're not turning my pig into breakfast!
Dipper: Hmm...GHHER!
With more imagination Dipper makes fire come out from Waddles eyes like flamethrowers while an icy burst came from the mouth.
Bill: AHH! What the?! Mabel: WOO! Awesome!
Dipper: I gotta be more then just a Dipper, I gotta be spontaneous like a kid! And kids are random! Just like Mabel.
Dipper: And you Paz. I think you deserve something... fancier.
On Pacifica her armor got shinier as if made of...diamonds?
Pacifica: Whooooa...
Then also gained a sharp pointy edge making a mean looking set of protection and offense.
Pyronica: Fancy. But do you really think it'll save you?!
Pacifica: Good question, why don't you help me find out? Smirks Bitch.
Pyronica: Why you little!
Pacifica's defense was raised to great heights in her new armor, giving her the edge against Pyronica. Taking the brute route she just runs forward with everything she had for a big tackle.
Pyronica: AGH! GET OFF ME HUMAN!
Pacifica: What's the matter? You don't like a hug?!
Pyronica: Didn't anyone teach you not to hug a fire demon?!
Pacifica: You're right...she did told me to stay away from skanks.
Pyronica: THATS IT! You're charcoal!
Pacifica: Bring it!
Pyronica burned hotter and hotter trying to fight off Pacifica but she refused to release her.
Pacifica: Ahhhh! Bitch I'm gonna surplex you.
Pyronica: Just try it you blonde bimbo! Dipper: Now to finally get rid of the psycho nacho chip.
Dipper: Yeah, that does sound good. Roll for hot cheese cannon!
Pyronica: Say what now?
Bill: Did he say cheese- AAAAHHH! MY EYE! HOT CHEESE IN MY EYE!
The triangle demon screamed as he was blasted with hot melted cheese.
Mabel: Man that guy never learns to protect his eyeball huh?
Bill: I don't like contacts!
Dipper: Mabel, I think it's time to feed Waddles don't you?
Mabel: You think so bro? This little pig is quite the glutton.
Dipper: How about a nice giant cheese covered nacho chip?
Suddenly a big ship made of nachos shows up from beneath Bill Cipher, which there is even more cheese, and the smell drawing the pig.
Bill: Hey, where did this come from?! ...cheddar cheese!
Mabel: Lunch time Waddles! The alpha twin said, swinging a hand bell to call for her steed.
Pacifica: Gah! A bell? Really Mabel?!
Mabel: huh? Oh! Sorry about that Paz, its just that it was the first thing that came to my head.
Her pig steed squealed, rearing on his hind legs before charging at Cheezy Bill.
Bill: What? Wait! No, no, no, no, NOO!
The screams of Bill were heard as the Pig feasted on their triangular shaped foe. Paz: Yeesh hope he doesn't get indigestion...
Teeth: You guys are sick!
Mabel: You ate a gnome whole!
Pacifica: Now who wants to be next?
She grinned as they prepared to tear apart the rest of them.
Teeth: Um maybe now would be a good time to run...
Mabel: Forward troops!
The unicorns and manotaurs charge with renewed vigor.
Dipper: Is it over? Did we beat him?
Bill: Let me out of here! It's gross!
Mabel: He won't be out of there for a while.
Pacifica: Should we roll to make the stomach acid powerful enough to melt steel?
Mabel: It's Waddles! He'll be fine. She patted her pink steed on the head.
Dipper: If you say so.
The pinetree rests on his knees, letting out a breath of relief, thinking that this was finally over with.
Pacifica: Looks like you saved the world again Dipper.
Dipper: No...we did. I always thought that I would be ready for everything, but sometimes we have to understand that its impossible, that's why you gotta wing it.
Pacifica: Isn't that what Mabel is for? Mabel: Hey!
Dipper: Thanks guys, I could not have done it without you all.
Pacifica: You can do anything you put your mind to Dipper.
Mabel: And if you can't that's what we're here for!
Around the Pinetree things started going back to normal, people being freed from their stone prisons and the weirdness stopping.
Dipper: Thanks guys...for real, your help makes all the difference.
Pacifica comes up to him and kisses him on the lips.
Pacifica: No. Thank you Dippy...
Dipper: Heheh. Now I just need to find a way to get out of here.
Pacifica: Do you have to? Why not stay and... reap the reward?
She said seductively as she rubbed up against him.
Mabel: Barf! You two forget I'm still here?
Dipper: Tempting. But I'll make sure to have some time with the real you when I'm out haha, I'm sure of it.
Pacifica: Awww...
Dipper: But I can at least leave you with this.
He leaned in and kissed her right on the lips.
Mabel: Hey since we are here can you imagine a hot boyfriend for me?
Dipper: Dream on Mabel.
Mabel: I would if you'd let me
While Dipper rolls his eyes at his imaginary sister, back in reality, Grenda and Wendy were coming from the game room to check on the dream walkers.
Grenda: Man that room is awesome!
Wendy: Yeah, old dude knows his games.
Grenda: Do you think the others are taking a bit longer to show up or is that just me?
Wendy: Maybe they are actually having more fun then we think.
Grenda: How is facing your fears fun?
Wendy: When you finally win against them and become a better individual? I mean we faced weirdmaggedon, what can be worst?
Grenda: Heck if I know. Should we check on them?
Wendy: Fine, but just because we have learned that we all get into trouble way too easy.
Grenda: I know right? Like some unseen outside force is messing with us.
Wendy: Hopefully not, c'mon lets go, then we can enjoy ourselves more later.
The two tough girls go back down to the hidden laboratory to check on the "formerly" mad inventor and their friends.
Grenda: Hey! Old man are you still in there?
Wendy: In case you're doing crazy scientist stuff make sure to tell us.
They hear no response just the sounds of the machines running and a groan of someone in pain.
?: Quiet you!
Grenda: What?
Wendy: That wasn't Mcgucket's voice...
Grenda: The old man is the only one who lives here, maybe a burglar has broken in. Time to flex my babies.
Wendy: You'd think this guy would have a security system.
The buff girl being the hot blooded fan of wrestling that she was, wastes no time pondering and decides to just kick her way inside.
Grenda: UHN! YEAH!
?: And that's my cue to exit. A shame I was really enjoying myself too...
Grenda: Freeze whoever you are freak!
The mysterious figure makes his getaway by busting one of the pipes, making steam.
Wendy: Fuck! Look out hot steam!
Grenda: I can't see anything! By the time the steam dissipated he was long gone.
Wendy: Well that just happened, who even was he?
Grenda: We think about that later, lets see how the others are doing.
Wendy: Um...is the dial supposed to be that high?
Grenda: What?
The buff girl turns around to see how the dial seemed to be rather high which wasn't a good sign.
Grenda: God damn it! Where is McGucket when you need him?
She went to turn it down a whole lot.
Wendy: Now that is the question...
She hears something squirming in the closet.
Wendy: What the?
She goes to open it to have the old man fall out of it.
Grenda: Oh snap! He was shoved in there like a nerd! Quick remove the rope from his mouth so we can learn what happened.
Wendy unties the old man so he can speak.
Mcgucket: Oh my aching noggin...
Wendy: Hey dude you ok? What happened in this room? We left for just a few moments.
Mcgucket: I ain't got the slightest idea! I just turned on the machine and the next thing I knew I'm getting conked on my noggin and stuffed in my storage closet!
Grenda: I hope the guys aren't brain dead because of this...
Mcgucket: Uuuhh...lets just turn this off so I can drink something for this headache shall we?
He goes to shut the dream machine off, the occupants groaning as they start to wake up.
Wendy: Hey dream walkers, you all there?
Mabel: Uuugghh...is this life? Am I awake? Do I still have huge gazongas?
Candy: Is it over?
Dipper: You're all real right?
Pacifica: Ahg! Thank god! I swear I could not stand that anymore.
Wendy: Well...Did it help at all?
Grenda: What was it like?
Mabel: Pure agony, like one of those movies were they force you to face your fears but cranked up to eleven. Basically I became a single pair of giant tits before I pulled myself back in!
Candy: I literally fought the dark side of myself...
Pacifica: I realized that I am a hot piece of ass and I love myself, no matter who is stupid enough to say it otherwise.
Dipper: I defeated bill at . and learned to roll with the punches. And Pacifica looks hot in diamond armor...
Grenda and Wendy just look at each other with shocked expressions, not understanding what they were saying.
Wendy: Well you're not really off there mabes. The machine was literally turned up to 11...
The four of them: WHAT?!
Mcgucket: Do you guys want to stay here talking about nonsense or do you want chocolate chip flavored cookies?
Mabel: Ooo! Yes please!
Dipper: Alright but we're discussing this afterwards.
Pacifica: Sounds good to me.
The group of friends starts to walk out of that room, but the beefy pinetree goes close to his blonde haired thicc friend and starts speaking in her ear.
Dipper: Wanna have a long session of fun later?
Pacifica: Like you wouldn't believe... She kissed his cheek, patting him on his chest.