13. ビール

Beer

Although the evening was crisp and cool around them, Yoh and Ren looked much the worse for wear as they waved to Atsushi and Natsuki and staggered their way home. Yoh's back ached from stocking shelves all afternoon, and Ren's hands stung from being immersed in the subzero temperatures of the refrigerators.

"Phew!" Yoh exclaimed, tucking both of his hands behind his head and stretching his neck. "That was a long day."

Ren nodded, swinging a large yellow bag with one hand and attempting to neaten his mussed hairdo with the other. "I must say," he declared, with fatigue bleeding into his voice, "I have a newfound appreciation for cold egg salad sandwiches and Bocari Sweat. I think I'm just now getting the feeling back in my fingertips."

The dim orange glow of the streetlights cast Yoh in an amber light as the boys passed an adult video store. "Heh," Ren chuckled to himself as he put his bag down and cupped his hands around the blacked-out window of the store, attempting to catch a glimpse of what lay inside. "If only they'd let us in, right, Yoh?"

Yoh put his arms down and stopped walking at the fringes of the orange streetlight. His face was eerily cast in pale shadows, making him look otherworldly. "I dunno," he shrugged. "After so long with Anna, I don't know that I'll ever be able to find another girl attractive."

"Ah, yes, of course, I understand," Ren said, picking up his bag once more. "Although, maybe …"

Yoh was still standing on the cusp of the light. Ren had stepped directly into the beam of the next streetlight. He turned around to face Yoh. With his face bathed in harsh orange light, he spoke to Yoh's half-shadowed figure.

"Maybe, just maybe," he said, slowly yet hopefully, "you don't find any girls attractive?"

Yoh frowned and took a step back from Ren, moving into the circle of light that lapped at his feet. He stared into Ren's glowing eyes, mouth slightly open, but did not speak.

Ren continued, an inscrutable smile slowly appearing on his lips. "Maybe … our little experiment from the other day was more than an experiment?"

Yoh's expression slowly morphed from one of surprise to one of regret. He retreated from Ren another step. The two boys now faced each other at a distance, both standing in haloes of orange, like co-stars sharing spotlights on a stage.

Is Ren right? Yoh thought as he stared into Ren's unwavering eyes. Did things not work out with me and Anna because … because I'm not interested in girls? All this time I thought it was her fault for not baring her heart to me. Maybe my heart wasn't in it in the first place, because I'm …

"Gay?!" Ren finished the thought for him - but he was laughing uncontrollably. "You?! Never," he sputtered between laughs. "Yoh, I'm totally fucking with you. I couldn't help it," he said, tears forming at the corner of his mirthful eyes. "I saw the sign in the window" - he pointed to a homoerotic poster - "and I just had to mess with you. Oh, your face! Your reaction was priceless. I wish you could have seen it …"

Yoh realized that Ren had been playing a joke on him, but he didn't appreciate it. He crossed his arms and forced a smile. "Good one," he said lifelessly. "You got me."

"Oh, buck up, Yoh," Ren said, motioning him over to his side. "Your gloomy demeanor is unbecoming. You need a good laugh."

"Well," Yoh replied, begrudgingly catching up to Ren as they headed home again, "one of us got a good laugh out of that."

"All right, Yoh. I'm sorry. I thought you would find it funny too. I mean, come on, you? Gay? You've always been into girls. Remember that time we went camping and Horohoro showed you his stash of girlie mags? To this day I have never seen anyone run out into the woods so quick -"

"Yeah, yeah," Yoh cut in, "I remember. As I recall, he shared them with you, too. And he said he was gonna kick your ass, because you only borrowed them for a minute and somehow that was enough time for you to get all the pages stuck togeth -"

"Anyway," Ren interrupted grittily, "I think you'll come around and forgive me once you see what I was able to snag from work today. Something far better than the slightly stale chips from yesterday."

Yoh felt a jolt of excitement despite himself. "Ooh," he said, "I am a little hungry, now that you mention it."

"Great - make yourself at home. Oh, right, I forgot. This is your home now."

The living room of Ren's place was small and sparsely furnished, but functional, and adjoined the bedroom on one side and the kitchen on the other. A somewhat lumpy futon stood guard at the far end of the room, near where the kitchen began, and in front of it was a low, Japanese-style wooden table with seat cushions laid beneath it. A rather modestly-sized tube television was propped upon a console against the wall nearest the bedroom.

Ren picked up the remote control and turned on the television. The mellifluous buzz of a female Japanese announcer's voice streamed into the room. He handed the remote to Yoh. "Watch whatever you like, Yoh. I'll be right back." He walked toward the far end of the room and into the kitchen.

Yoh seated himself on one of the cushions before the table and started flipping through the channels. He noted that Ren apparently didn't have cable, as watching most of the few stations that the TV could catch was a bit like trying to spot a polar bear in a blizzard. He settled on the show with the best reception, some sort of game show with a bit of comic relief mixed in.

Ren returned from the kitchen. At last, he put down his yellow shopping bag. It was noticeably less bulbous now. He seated himself opposite Yoh and pulled out a couple of sodas and sandwiches. He handed Yoh his share of the convenience store cornucopia and favored Yoh with a curious look.

Yoh started to peel the wrapper away from his sandwich, but looked up, feeling Ren's eyes boring into his forehead. "What's up, Ren? Something on your mind?"

Ren looked a little caught off guard by this, as if he hadn't realized how intently he had been looking at Yoh. "Oh, no, Yoh, I was just, um, lost in thought. Never you mind."

"Lost in thought about what?" Yoh wasn't going to let it go that easily.

"Er, I was just thinking," he said deliberately, "how this must be a nice change of pace for you. Unless I'm very much mistaken, cooking was always one of your responsibilities, was it not? And getting to watch television was a luxury not often afforded to you."

Yoh looked for a moment as though he were about to dive in and discuss the dynamic of his former relationship with Anna, but decided to deflect Ren's observation. "Yes, Ren. Five static-filled TV stations and some expired convenience store freebies. I'm truly lying in the lap of luxury here," he said drolly.

To Ren's credit, Yoh's complaint didn't make him defensive. "Fair enough. As with most issues in my life, you can blame my father for those."

"How so?" Yoh asked as he bit into his sandwich. It really wasn't bad.

"The Tao family is wealthy beyond measure," Ren said, producing a couple of bags of potato chips and sliding one across the table to Yoh. "But you would never guess that looking at me and my modest trappings, would you? Just getting my father to pay the rent on this dump was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. Remember when I used to live in the burned-out, abandoned remains of the China Wok restaurant? That was merely one item in a laundry list of my father's misguided attempts to instill within me the importance of toughness and self-reliance. Pfeh!" Ren spat, the hiss of his soda bottle punctuating his rant. "He has no more compassion for me than a carpenter has for his hammer." Ren paused at that moment and looked at Yoh apologetically. "But I realize now that I've been preaching to the choir, as it were. I'm sure I feel the same way about my father as you do about … well, there are certain striking similarities …"

Yoh froze with a mouthful of half-chewed sandwich. He quickly took a sip of his drink. "Yes, it does sound familiar," he admitted. "But, as I'm sure things are between you and your father, it's complicated."

"Complicated, indeed. But truly, I sympathize with you, Yoh," Ren said, polishing off his sandwich and pulling out a plastic tray of sushi for the boys to share. "I know firsthand how difficult it is to live under an oppressive hand that you wish, just once, would show a hint of compassion."

"Thanks for understanding," Yoh said awkwardly. For several seconds only the staticky voice of a female host and the crunch of Ren's potato chips could be heard.

"Mount Pinatubo," Ren said suddenly.

Yoh nearly spat out the soda he had been sipping. "What?"

"It's the answer to that trivia question. You know, on the show."

Yoh listened in. "Oooh, no, sorry," said the announcer soothingly. "The correct answer was Mount Pinatubo."

"Huh," Yoh said. "How'd you know that?"

Ren shrugged. "I know a thing or two. Oh, um … Leonard Bernstein, wasn't it?"

The staticky voice cut in, almost as if the TV had been listening in. "Yes! Leonard Bernstein is correct!"

"Jesus, that's impressive," Yoh said, looking at his friend with something approaching awe in his eyes. "Do you watch shows like this often?"

"More than I'd care to admit," Ren said. "My existence could be described as 'solitary' a bit more accurately than I'd prefer. Um, I think that was by Degas."

Yoh turned again to the TV, where the camera had cut to stock footage of palm trees and hula dancers. "A fabulous trip to Hawaii is on the line here! For the win, let's see if your answer was correct … Oh, no! It was Edgar Degas! I'm so sorry …"

"Damn, Ren. I had no idea," Yoh said in admiration.

"Oh, come now," he replied. "It can't come as a complete surprise. Haven't I always struck you as being a cut above, intellectually speaking? Certainly Horohoro would never dare to match wits with me, to say nothing of Ryu, or -"

Ren had cut himself off when his eyes landed on Yoh. "Or me," Yoh finished for him with a grin.

"No, Yoh, that's not what I was -"

"Yes, it is," Yoh said, but he didn't sound offended at all. In fact, he was still smiling broadly. "Good old Ren. Things just wouldn't be the same if you were humble." Ren laughed despite himself at that. "But I agree with you. I can't hold a candle to you intellectually. That's why I didn't have to think twice about dropping out of school. That stuff just isn't for me, and I know that." Yoh smirked. "Besides, I already knew you were smart. You never let yourself get caught up in looking for a girl."

The words had caught Ren unprepared. "I fear that if a discussion of my love life or lack thereof is on the table, we both will need something rather stronger than these sodas."

"Oh? Well, we don't have to get into it if you don't want to." Yoh reached across the table for a piece of sushi.

"Fortunately," Ren continued as if Yoh hadn't spoken, "I've come prepared for such an eventuality." And in one fluid motion, Ren got up off the cushion and disappeared into the kitchen.

Yoh heard the distinct clinking of glass bottles as he turned back to the TV. Another contestant was being grilled now. "Hey, Ren," he called out after hearing her question, "which explorer -"

"Vasco da Gama," came Ren's somewhat distant and muffled reply.

"Wow," Yoh muttered to himself as the clinking continued. Ren reemerged at that moment, carrying several brown bottles in his hands and arms. What appeared to be a bottle opener peeked out at him from between his teeth.

Yoh picked up one of the bottles and rotated it so that he could read the label. "Karin Ichiban™," he read aloud. "Traditionally brewed using the finest ingredients … Ren," he said as he began to realize what he was holding in his hand, "is this … beer?"

"Yes," Ren confirmed. He squatted down so that he could cross his arms upon the table and lean into them towards Yoh. "A bottle of social lubricant, just out of date, and free thanks to our current employer. And absolutely necessary if we are to discuss my tough luck with women. Now, are you in," he asked, extending the bottle opener to Yoh, "or are you out?"

Yoh took the implement into his hands tentatively. "I don't know," he said haltingly. "I've never had alcohol before …"

"Me, neither," Ren admitted. "But there's a first time for everything. Now," he continued, snatching the bottle opener out of Yoh's loose grip and prying the cap off of his own bottle, "are you really going to let your friend drink alone?"

Yoh took a tense, deep breath and picked up the bottle opener. Awkwardly, but successfully, he pulled the bottle cap loose with an electrifying hiss. He looked up at Ren, who was holding his bottle out toward Yoh. He realized what Ren wanted to do, and extended his bottle out to clink against Ren's.

"To my best friend," Ren said simply. Yoh felt his face grow a bit warmer at that. "Kanpai!"

The boys raised their bottles to their lips simultaneously. Their reactions were identical and synchronized. Two thin, frothy streams of liquid gushed from between their lips onto the table.

"Pfff! Ack! It's horrible!"

"Ptui! Oh my, that's deeply unpleasant."

They turned their heads to look at each other.

"Do you think, maybe, it's gone bad? It did expire last week, after all." Ren pointed to a date that had been stamped onto the bottle.

"I think it's supposed to taste like that," Yoh replied. He sniffed the mouth of the bottle. "It doesn't smell rotten, anyway."

Ren looked like he was steeling himself to do something that every muscle in his body was resisting. "All right, then, I suppose it's once more unto the breach for me." He gave Yoh an urgent, beseeching look.

"Aww, man," he said upon seeing it. "Do I have to?" But he knew the answer even before Ren insisted with a meaningful glare. Reluctantly, he raised the bottle to his lips and took a tiny sip. It tasted awful - like a carbonated, liquefied slice of the bitterest bread ever baked - but he managed to get it down. He looked over at Ren's sour-lemon face and imagined his expression must have looked about the same.

"Mmm. Exquisite," Ren said sarcastically. "Well, do you feel drunk yet?"

Yoh frowned. "How should I know?"

"That's a good point. I wonder how much it's going to take." The television filled in the silence as Ren lost himself in thought. Suddenly, his face brightened up. "I know! Let's play a game."

"Oh, I don't think so," Yoh said, looking alarmed. "The last time I played a game involving a bottle, I ended up naked in a closet with -"

"You did?" Ren interrupted, a little too eagerly. "Dah, I mean, no, don't worry, Yoh, it's not that kind of game. We'll just watch this game show, see? And every time the contestant is right, I'll drink. And every time they're wrong, you drink."

Yoh frowned. "Okay. And who wins?"

"The person who doesn't throw up?"

"Wow, what a fun game," Yoh said. "Remind me why people drink beer again?"

"Just trust me, okay?" Ren pleaded.

Yoh sighed. "I can't believe you of all people are peer-pressuring me into doing something I shouldn't be doing."

"What do you mean, me 'of all people'? Are you implying that you have another friend who's more likely to be a bad influence on you?" Ren paused for a second. Then he gasped and looked appalled. "Wait - you think Chocolove is the bad egg in our group, don't you? Because he's black? Yoh, I can't believe it. I didn't think you had a racist bone in your body. I'm very disappointed in you -"

"No! No, no, no," Yoh interrupted. "I didn't mean that at all! It's just, well …" He hesitated. What he really wanted to say was that Natsuki was who he had been thinking of, but he stopped himself from saying it because he knew that she was a sore spot for Ren. So instead, he said, "Don't you think Horohoro would probably pressure us to drink? He just seems like the type, right?"

Ren looked no less disgusted by that. "Why, because he's Ainu? Yoh, seriously, you're being so ignorant right now. And all this time, I thought you were a good guy. What's next? Maybe you want me to cook you some egg rolls and fried rice, because I'm Chinese?"

"No! What the hell, Ren? I - you know I love you." Yoh was still too shocked from being called a racist to notice that his words had put a touch of color in Ren's cheeks. "I love all of my friends. Look, forget it, okay? Let's play your game."

Ren erupted with raucous laughter upon hearing the contestant's incorrect answer. "The Beatles? The Beatles?! That's a Beach Boys song! Yoh, you poor thing. Drink again!"

Several empty bottles lay scattered around Yoh's half of the table, like toy soldiers in the middle of a play date. They were clearly losing the war of attrition against Ren's forces, who were still mostly alive and full on his side. Yoh picked up one of his empty bottles by accident and tried to take a sip from it, an incident that sent him into an uncontrollable laughing fit.

"Oh, my God," he said between chortles, "did you see that? I tried to drink from an empty bottle! Isn't that the funniest shit you've ever heard of?" It was hard to tell if Yoh's face was red from embarrassment, laughing too hard, or being intoxicated - or perhaps some mix of the three.

Ren's face wasn't quite as red as Yoh's, but it was just as mirthful. "No, the funniest shit has got to be that guy who thought the Eiffel Tower was in Germany! Can you imagine - some of these people are morons! Occipital lobe. No, no, not the hippocampus! Yoh, that's you again!"

Yoh took a swig, this time from the right bottle. He belched immodestly and started to laugh again. "Ren, you're so fucking smart. I wish I knew half the stuff you know."

The smile faded from Ren's face. "No, Yoh. No, you don't. Trust me."

"Why not?" Yoh asked. "Must be nice feeling like such a smart-ass, smart … so smart." For some reason his difficulty putting his thoughts into words seemed hilarious. He started laughing once again.

"Yoh, for as long as I can remember, I've wanted a companion - someone I can confide in, someone who I can lean on, someone to hold at night, someone to kiss. But so far, I've had plenty of time to master things alone, if you get my meaning."

Yoh had managed to get a hold of himself momentarily, but burst out laughing again at that. "Ren, have you - did you know that 'master' sounds exactly - just like 'masturb' -"

"Yes, thank you, that was the joke," Ren interrupted, but he laughed despite himself. "I didn't want to learn a bunch of useless trivia. I'm never going to become a brain surgeon or historian. But something had to fill the void in my life. And you can only train so much. So I learned a bunch of crap. Everything except how to find my partner, it seems." Ren took a rather long pull of his beer, despite the fact that the game didn't call for it. "You have a real gift, you know. Your personality is absolutely riveting. People are drawn to your inner calm like moths to a flame. I, on the other hand, am too brooding and vengeful to attract anyone. And that's to say nothing of our physical appearances."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Yoh said, holding up his palm to Ren in an effort to stop him. "Stop saying words. Gimme a second." Yoh's drunken deep concentration was slow, but effective. "You're saying - you think you can't get anyone because you're - because of your personality? And your looks?"

"Yes," Ren said, a little surprised. "Precisely."

"No!" Yoh roared, with ferocity and clarity that caught Ren completely by surprise. "That's bullshit! Ren," he said, slamming his beer down on the table and standing up, "get over here!"

Still taken aback by Yoh's outburst, Ren got to his feet and walked over to Yoh, whose glassy eyes burned with sincerity that seemed to gaze into his very soul. "Ren. Do I - do you know what I see?"

Ren didn't know what Yoh was getting at. "Your pal Ren?" he ventured.

"No, goddammit!" Yoh growled, poking a finger rather aggressively into Ren's chest. Despite the sharpness of the poke, Ren felt a frisson of excitement from the physical contact. "You - I see the best - the most amazing friend anybody could ask for!"

Ren didn't know what to say to that; it was flattering, to be sure, but then again, Yoh was quite clearly inebriated.

Yoh took Ren's silence as encouragement to go on. He fondled Ren's hair spike with his wobbly hands and said, "Some - I think you wear your hair like this because - as a way to imitate - intimate" - to be fair, it would have been hard for Yoh to find "intimidate" even while sober - "scare people away. But what if I thought - if I said I think it suits you because - for a different reason? I've never seen your hair get messed up. Not even when your dad was holding you in - keeping you prisoner for days. You - it's very residual - resolution" - Yoh gave up on finding "resilient" - "it never backs down, just like you."

Ren was finding it hard to reply, and it had very little to do with the couple of beers he had consumed. He couldn't help but admire Yoh's handsome face, given that it was now literally just inches away from his own. That combined with the fact that he was practically running his fingers through his hair was enough to make him start questioning reality.

Then, without warning, and certainly without giving Ren enough time to recover mentally, he released his grip on Ren's hair spike and instead grasped the hem of his shirt. To Ren's utter bewilderment, Yoh tugged his shirt up above his shoulders and shrugged it off.

Seeing Ren staring at him in shock, Yoh tugged at his T-shirt without hesitation. "Take it off," he said.

Ren hesitated. "What are you - why? Is this really necessary?" he protested.

"Yes!" Yoh bellowed, his drunken aggression poking its head out again. "Take your fucking shirt off!"

Ren realized that Yoh wasn't about to sober up and back down anytime soon. "All right, all right. Relax. I was going to say 'keep your shirt on,' but clearly it's too late for that." He laughed at his own joke once it became clear Yoh hadn't gotten it. Then, tentatively, he pulled his own shirt off.

The two boys faced each other, shirtless. Ren noticed that Yoh's entire torso was a delicate shade of pink from all the alcohol flowing through his veins. It was going to be a while before he sobered up. Yoh, meanwhile, was eyeing up Ren's body in a way that made him feel rather pink himself.

"It's just like -" Yoh started, then tried again. "Like I thought. Like I remembered. You have an amazing body. You don't - you have nothing to worry about."

Despite Yoh's obvious impairment, the words still reassured Ren - and maybe ignited something else within him as well … "Really?"

"Yes!" Yoh said with startling conviction. "Look at those abs," he said, jabbing a finger into the subtle outline of Ren's six-pack. He patted his beer-filled stomach for emphasis. "If I can get - if Anna liked me with this belly, just imagine - think of the - who you could get with a body like yours. And your arms! My God," he went on, "just look at how - how - fucking - they're like -"

"I - I get it, Yoh," Ren said, trying to keep Yoh's liquored-up brain from seizing up. "Really, this isn't necessary. Although I do appreciate it." Ren didn't want to leave it at that. More than anything else, he wanted to reciprocate Yoh's compliments and point out that Yoh was pretty svelte and well-proportioned himself. But instead, he simply said, "I appreciate it on a deeper level than you might realize."

Yoh looked taken aback at that. "Wait, how - what do you mean by that?" he asked, squinting his eyes and studying Ren's inscrutable expression in vain search of clues. "I - let me think about it some more."

And before Ren could react - not that he knew what to say anyway - Yoh staggered his way out the front door.

Ren stared at the door bemusedly once it had closed behind Yoh. He felt rather foolish standing there without a shirt on. He had knocked back a couple of beers, and was feeling loose and free, but clearly not to the extent Yoh did. He wondered whether the alcohol had filled Yoh's head with wild, unfounded ideas, or if it had merely loosened his tongue a little and made him more eager to speak aloud what he had always thought. Has Yoh always admired my body, or was that just an idea that surfed into his head on a wave of beer?

Either way, he thought, I'd better check on him. I hope he's not relieving himself into a storm drain or something.

Ren swung open the door, but he didn't have to search far and wide for his friend. Yoh was standing out on the sidewalk in the shadows between two streetlights. He swayed unsteadily, like a palm tree in a stiff breeze, his face faintly illuminated from the glowing red tip of his cigarette.

Upon noticing that last detail, Ren went apoplectic. The spike of hair that Yoh had just been fondling seemed to grow six inches taller as he advanced towards Yoh, screaming, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!"

The harsh query echoed off the nearby buildings, but Yoh looked completely unfazed. He pulled on his cigarette gently, and his face briefly glowed brighter. "What the - what does it look like I'm doing? You tell me. You're the smart - the one who knows everything."

"It looks like," Ren started by way of an answer, "you're giving yourself cancer. And emphysema. And heart disease. Yoh, put that out this instant!"

"Jesus," Yoh said with a smirk. "Who - You're not my mom."

The cool night air wafting against Ren's bare chest seemed to temper his initial reaction to Yoh's churlish reply. "That may be so, but I care about you no less than she does." It wasn't until after he had spoken the words that he realized how much he actually had meant them.

Yoh plucked the cigarette out from between his lips and started to gesture with it in the air. He said as he did, "I care … no less than … Ren, that - I can't - what's that mean?"

"Ugh, never mind!" Ren groaned in frustration. "I can't believe this. You are the last person I ever would have guessed would start smoking." He paced up and down the sidewalk as he tried to clear his mind. His quizzical frown gradually morphed into wide-eyed intensity as he thought about it some more. Suddenly he froze, directly under the streetlight nearest Yoh. "This was Natsuki's doing, wasn't it?"

"Yeah," Yoh said, the cigarette back between his lips. "So?"

It was Ren's turn to yell with alcohol-fueled intensity. "I told you she was nothing but trouble! Didn't I warn you? Girls like that - all girls, honestly - are hornet's nests!"

"You're only - you think that because you've never had - been in a relationship with one," Yoh said pointedly.

"No," Ren declared, his bare shoulders and torso glowing from the orange streetlight above his head, "I think that because I've seen it with my very eyes! Anna broke your heart, Yoh, and now Natsuki's breaking your body. I don't want to see you hurt anymore."

Ren's disarming honesty cut through the fog of alcohol and hit home. Yoh threw his mostly unfinished cigarette to the sidewalk. Without its faint glow upon his face, Yoh's entire figure was cloaked in the darkness. "But I think I like Natsuki," he said finally.

"That you do, I'm sure," Ren replied. "Wouldn't you be better off, though, if you found someone who accepted - no, admired - you for who you were? Someone who would take the man who was before them and start building him up, rather than tearing him down to the rafters and making him over again?"

"I just want," Yoh said, taking a step into the orange beam that surrounded Ren, "to feel wanted. To feel loved."

"As do I," Ren admitted. "And let it be known that, regardless of whatever personal differences we may have had in the past, I admire you, Yoh."

Yoh took another step towards Ren. The beam of light now danced upon his bare shoulders and cast an arc of light on his chest. "Ren, I - I love you, too."

Ren looked thunderstruck. "Wait a min - What?" he spluttered as Yoh closed the remaining distance between them and emerged fully into Ren's light. Before he could ponder whether Yoh had drunkenly misheard him or if he had actually meant to say that word instead of "admire" - love - he felt slender yet strong arms constricting his torso and clasping behind his back.

Yoh's chest rubbed against Ren's, smooth bare flesh rubbing upon smooth bare flesh. Ren sensed his pulse quickening, and could almost feel Yoh's doing the same within his chest. He wanted with every fiber of his very being to return Yoh's spontaneous embrace, but knew what it might lead to.

He looked into Yoh's glassy eyes, hazy but brilliant, like stained glass illuminated by candlelight. He couldn't deny that Yoh's body pressing up against his just felt right. He had, after all, entertained fantasies of being with Yoh - actually calling him his own, without hiding behind claims of "experimentation." But, more than the fleeting physical pleasure that their past and current contact had brought, he wanted to be graced with the truth, and not just a drunken, hollow echo of it.

"Yoh, let's not go down this road again," he said softly into Yoh's ear. "You're just drunk and feeling lonely."

Yoh's drunken swaying was sending Ren into gentle elliptical motion. In the orange spotlight that surrounded them, they looked like two young lovers dancing to a slow song. "I - you're right. I am drunk and alone. But I know what I want - what I'm doing."

Ren had a decision to make - to rebuff an inebriated Yoh or acquiesce to his advances? But Yoh was surprisingly strong and insistent, and he made the decision a moot point by placing his lips firmly on Ren's. The distinct flavors of cigarettes and cheap beer mingled upon his tongue, but Ren quickly found that he didn't mind. His arms left his sides and wrapped themselves around Yoh, who felt unnaturally warm, as if the streetlight above them was one of those heat lamps they used at the convenience store to keep the hot dogs from getting cold. With uncharacteristic boldness, Yoh led them off the sidewalk and back into Ren's home. The door had scarcely shut behind them before Yoh's hands were upon Ren's waist, fumbling with the belt holding up his black shorts.

The brief period between streetlight and front door had given Ren a moment to reconsider. Not like this. Ren put a hand on one of Yoh's. "Wait!" he said. "Really, you're obviously drunk. Let's not do this tonight. It would be quite a sticky situation if you regretted all of this tomorrow, don't you think?"

Yoh grinned mischievously. "Oh, it'll be sticky, all right. But I don't think - I won't regret any of this."

Ren tried to protest some more, but his arguments were swallowed up by Yoh's lips and drowned out by the sound of his belt buckle clattering to the floor …

To be continued in Chapter 14