"Victor? Victoria."

By MaturePopcorn

Description: Victor has some heavy things on his mind. He's been so depressed he can hardly function, and he knows his friends will always be there to help.

WARNING: T for language, drinking, etc.

Author's note: This story is now going to be an actual full-length story (Let's hope I don't give up on it halfway through like I frequently do…) and it's loosely based off of the events that transpired in my life when I was 16-18.

Please review so I know what's good and what's bad!

Much love,

~Hannah

Chapter 002

Victoria woke up at around nine o'clock the day after Valentine's Day feeling… Something. She couldn't quite place the emotion, but she knew it was strong, and a little overwhelming. She felt like she was missing something, some key piece of information, and she felt mildly empty inside for some reason. Victoria checked her phone and saw a recently missed text from Hop.

"Hey, Tori; I wanted to know if you were free to hang out today. I wanted to talk about some of the stuff I've researched, and I don't want to leave you all alone today. Text me when you see this! Love you."

Oh. That's right… Victoria had come out as trans the day before. A wave of emotion came flooding over her, and she had to fight back a strong wave of tears. She was, on the one hand, happy she had finally spoken her mind and made the scary first step towards a happier future. She was also, however, terrified. She had no idea where to begin with any of this, and still felt entirely too masculine for her own liking. She knew it would take a while to get comfortable in her own skin again, to grow her hair out and start wearing makeup and feminine clothing, and start taking the appropriate medications, but she was willing to fight for herself, no matter how hard it was. Besides, she had her friends behind her all the way; especially Hop.

Victoria texted Hop back, simply saying, "You're free to stop by anytime." She got out of bed and went to the kitchen to make breakfast.

Upon pouring herself a bowl of cereal and milk, she glanced at the kitchen table, and at Tofu's Pokéball. Pokémon were well taken care of in their Pokéballs, being fed and warmed and entertained, but she knew Tofu would be missing her dearly. Besides, she still had to tell him her news, and she missed him, too.

Victoria ate her breakfast, then brought Tofu out, and the moment he saw her, he chirped happily and embraced her tightly. She stroked the soft fur on the top of his head and began soothing both him and herself, saying, "Hey, buddy… It's okay, I'm back." Tofu nuzzled her gently, and she said, "I promise to bring you out more often. I've missed you."

Tofu broke the embrace and tilted his head at her, chirping again, this time sounding worried. She chuckled softly and a bit sadly, and whispered, "Some things have happened recently, and I'm sorry for not seeing you, but I've been so depressed lately…" Victoria's eyes began to water as she said, "I'm going to be a girl from now on. It would make me happier. I just don't know where to begin with any of it… But Hop is going to help me."

Tofu nuzzled under Victoria's chin and let out what sounded like a purr, as if to comfort her and support her. She pulled her Pokémon back into another tight embrace, and sighed deeply. She knew things would eventually be okay, but she was stressed, and still pretty sad.

Victoria glanced at her closed liquor cabinet and debated, even so early in the morning, allowing herself to drink her emotions away yet again. She was about to walk over to it when she heard a knock at the door, and she paused, deciding this was a sign she shouldn't be drinking. She went to the front door and opened it.

"Hey, Tori," Hop said, sounding slightly breathless. "I rode my bike here when you said to come over."

Victoria chuckled and replied, "I know I said come over anytime, but that was ten minutes ago. You got here fast."

Hop nodded and said, "Like I said, I didn't want to leave you all alone on a day like this. How're you holding up?"

Victoria deadpanned, "I was about to drink. You stopped me."

Hop frowned. "Good," he said. "Drinking's awful for you."

Victoria replied, "Yeah, I know… It's still tempting, though."

Hop shrugged and said, "You're an adult, and I can't stop you from drinking if you really want to, but as your best friend, no offense to Marnie or Bede, I want to encourage you not to drink at all if you can help it."

Victoria glanced away and said, "I'll try… I won't promise, though." She paused and asked, "Are you gonna come in?"

Hop laughed and said, "Right, I should get out of the doorway." He stepped inside and Victoria closed the door behind him. Hop then saw Tofu, and his eyes lit up. "Hey, buddy! It's been a while." He walked up to the Cinderace and scratched behind his ears, earning a cry of happiness. Tofu glanced back at Victoria, still looking a bit concerned, and walked up to her, chirping anxiously.

Victoria smiled and said, "I'm okay, buddy." She looked at Hop and said, "Do you wanna get right into things? I'm curious about how this all works, and I just want some answers."

Hop smiled and nodded, responding, "I looked more into it last night. The good news is there's a therapist specializing in gender stuff near here, and I got the phone number for you to call." Hop produced a piece of paper with a number scrawled on it in his neatest handwriting and handed it to Victoria.

"Mate," she whispered, "Can you be here when I call? I'm a little anxious."

Hop nodded. "Absolutely. Call whenever you want to, I'll hang around. I also wanted to tell you something about your insurance."

Victoria frowned. "What about my insurance?"

"You might wanna switch it," Hop said. "It's not the best at covering medications."

Victoria groaned. "Great, another phone call."

Hop grabbed Victoria's hand and squeezed it gently. "If you can stand on the pitch of Wyndon stadium," Hop said, "and fight the champion in front of a sold out crowd, you can make a couple phone calls. Especially with me here. I believe in you."

"Battling's different," Victoria said. "But I seriously appreciate the support."

Hop sighed and said, "It's a long road you've started down, but I know you'll get there eventually." He paused and said, "Do you wanna get a haircut?"

Victoria frowned. "Hop, what on Earth are you talking about? I want my hair longer, not shorter."

Hop shook his head and said, "Not that much shorter, I meant. You could style it to look a bit more feminine. Like a pixie cut or something."

Victoria thought for a moment before finally shaking her head. "No, I just want to grow it out from where it is now. It should only take about a year to get to where I want it."

Hop squeezed Victoria's hand again. "What're you going to do for that year, though? I'd hate to see you wait that long to start presenting feminine."

Victoria sighed. "I know girls can have short hair, too, but I personally feel uncomfortable going out in girl's clothing when mine is so short. Even if I got a pixie cut, it wouldn't solve much."

Hop asked, "Why do you think you feel that way?"

Victoria hesitated. She slowly said, "Because people would stare. And judge me. I already get recognized as the former champion almost everywhere I go; the media would have a field day."

She hesitated again, thinking, then finally whispered, "They'll have one eventually anyway, whether it's now or in a year. Maybe…" She shook her head to herself. "No, nevermind. I just feel too self-conscious is all."

Hop looked into Victoria's eyes with concern. He said, "Well, let's look at the positives. What's something you like about yourself? Physically, I mean."

Victoria immediately had an answer. "I'm only 5'6". When I was a kid, everyone in my family assumed I'd be tall when I grew up, but I ended up really short. That… Feels better. Again, I know there are tall girls, too, but…"

As she paused once more, Hop finished her sentence for her, saying, "Right. You have a lot of anxiety. I think… More than any of us realized, until you came out. Plus, this is the first time I've seen you sober in months besides yesterday."

Victoria glanced down at the floor and whispered, "Yeah, probably." Great Arceus, what had her life become as of late? She felt like she was letting everyone down simply by existing.

Hop said, "Anything else?"

Victoria shrugged and said, "I have curves. Kinda."

Hop laughed. "Right. That's good. The hormone therapy is really going to help, too; your features will become even more feminine."

Victoria sighed and finally let go of Hop's hand. In a short burst of motivation, she suddenly said, "I want to call the therapist. Before I get cold feet."

Hop nodded and watched as she pulled out her phone and dialed the number on the paper. She hesitated before hitting the call button; even with Hop there with her, she was incredibly nervous. She asked Hop, "What do I even say?"

Hop thought for a second before answering, "Just start with your name and say you want to schedule an appointment; I'm sure the rest of the call will be answering simple questions."

Victoria took a deep, steadying breath, then hit the green button on her phone. It rang… And rang… And rang… Finally, after about six rings, she heard a prerecorded message begin, "Hello, this is Dr. Altman; I'm unavailable at the moment…"

She tuned out the message and said to Hop, "I got voicemail."

"So leave a voicemail, mate."

Victoria started to panic. "I never leave voicemails. I don't want to sound stupid."

As she looked like she was about to cry, Hop held out his hand and gently said, "Do you want me to do it?"

Victoria blinked and, hearing the message end in a beep, decided she shouldn't rely so heavily on Hop to do everything for her. She took another quick deep breath and began leaving her message.

It was short, and choppy, but with Hop's whispering guidance, she was able to get out the important information. She ended by leaving her number, then hung up abruptly.

"Mate, you did it. See?" Hop encouraged.

"I sounded stupid," Victoria countered. "I-"

Hop interjected, "What matters is that you did it. I'm sure most therapists are used to stuff like that. He won't even notice."

"It was a woman's voice."

"She, then. You get the idea."

Victoria sighed and stared at her phone. She said, "Now what?"

Hop stretched wide and said, "Now we go for a walk around the suburbs. You need some fresh air and a break." He chuckled and added, "I won't even care if you smoke. Yeah?"

Victoria smiled. "Okay; let me get my shoes on." She rushed upstairs to her room and slipped her Converse on, tying them quickly, before rushing back downstairs and saying, "Ready."

Before they could exit through the front door, Victoria's phone rang suddenly. She froze, then slowly reached into her pocket and pulled it out to see who it was.

"Hop, it's the therapist."

"So answer it," Hop responded. "I'm right here, unless you want some privacy."

Victoria shook her head and said, "Please stay." She hit the accept call button and put the phone to her ear.

"Hello?"

A pause came, then a woman's voice on the other end said, "Hello, is this Victoria?"

"Yes."

"Hey there; I'm Dr. Altman. I'm just returning your call. You wanted to schedule an appointment?"

"Yes," Victoria said. "As soon as possible."

Dr. Altman chuckled and said, "I have an opening this Wednesday at noon. Would that work?"

Victoria didn't bother to check her schedule; she hardly ever had things planned out anymore, and even if there was a conflict in her schedule, she'd make it work to get to this appointment. She answered, "Yes, that would be great."

Dr. Altman asked, "Great; in the meantime, do you have any pressing questions you wanted to ask? I know this can be challenging, especially in the beginning."

Victoria shook her head before realizing she was talking on the phone, and the therapist couldn't see her. She answered, without thinking, "No, I'll save everything for my appointment. I'm anxious right now, and I'd like to go now."

Dr. Altman chuckled again. "Good on you for speaking up for yourself and advocating for yourself. I will see you Wednesday, then."

Victoria's face flushed red and she choked out, "Thank you; goodbye." She then hung up abruptly without waiting for a goodbye. She looked up at Hop and rhetorically asked, "Why am I so awkward?"

Hop smiled and said, "You did great! And now you have an appointment. She'll be able to help you along much more than I ever could."

Victoria closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, attempting to calm her nerves. She opened her eyes and said, "Let's take that walk. I need a smoke right about now."

Author's Note Part II: This is going to sound random, but I dyed my hair purple today so I can cosplay as Hop literally every day. I wear his entire outfit, jacket included, and brown contact lenses. That's, like… Weird. But I don't care. It makes me happy. See y'all in chapter 003!