Chapter Thirty- Six

Ranger was down the stairs and waiting for the valet that was taking his sweet ass time, when he felt a slap upside the back of his head. Hard.

Ranger whirled around and Vinita was standing there, hands on hips glaring at him. He knew she had followed him out, but he didn't expect her to be pissed off. Ranger was about done with pissed off women for the night. In fact, Ranger was about done with women in general. They were confounding.

"Jesus Vinita, what was that for?" Ranger reached up and rubbed the back of his head. That woman was a lot stronger than she looked.

"For being an idiot or a typical man, which I suppose is really the same thing." She narrowed her eyes at Ranger. "What did you do?" She practically hissed at him.

"What makes you think I did anything?" Ranger retorted, feeling a little like he had just been called to the principal's office.

"I just saw Stephanie hightail it out of here with the very handsome Rafe Montero. She did not look happy, but Montero certainly did." She gave him a meaningful look and Ranger's gut clenched.

"So, I'll asked again, what did you do." She enunciated every word like she thought maybe Ranger's English wasn't so good.

"What makes you think I did anything?" Irritation was evident in his voice. Ranger was the one that had just been rejected. He thought maybe Vinita could cut him a little slack.

"Carlos, we just established you're a man, which pretty much guarantees you did something stupid." Vinita held up her hand when he went to protest. "A woman doesn't have that look, the one that says you broke her heart and she's thinking about punching you in the face, unless you did something stupid."

"Look Vinita, she doesn't want me OK."

"Bullshit."

Now it was Ranger's turn to glare. He crossed his arms over his chest and gave her his best death glare, the one that made international terrorists whimper and confess with surprising regularity.

Vinita waved her hand dismissively. "Stop trying to intimidate me. I came to this country on a homemade raft made of oil barrels and baling wire. You do not scare me."

Ranger's shoulders slumped a little and he uncrossed his arms. He raked his hand down his face, like he was trying to banish the memory of the evening and failing.

"I asked her to leave with me. I told her I wanted to be the only man in her life, because she was the only woman I wanted in mine."

Now it was Vinita's turn to cross her arms. She eyed him suspiciously. "You said that. Those exact words."

Ranger shifted a little from foot-to-foot. "Maybe not those exact words."

"What exact words did you say?"

Ranger reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. He could feel heat flushing up his neck. He really didn't want to tell Vinita exactly what he'd said.

He heard her soft laugh. "There is no need to be embarrassed. There are no real secrets left between us. You've been." Her voice trailed off, as she looked for a polite way to describe how things had been between them. "Well everywhere and I already know how wonderfully filthy that mouth of yours can be."

Ranger figured Vinita had a point. There wasn't much they hadn't done with each other. Ranger told her what he said to Stephanie.

Vinita just rolled her eyes. "Oh cariño, for a man that knows his was around a woman's body so well, you really don't know shit about women, do you?"

Ranger thought he should probably be offended by that, but clearly Vinita was right.

"What did I do wrong?"

"Where to start." She quirked her eyebrow up at him. Ranger narrowed his eyes.

"First you made it seem like it was all about sex. What she needed to hear was you wanted to spend time with her. You know dressed." Vinita gave him a pointed look.

"Stephanie needed you to tell her she was the only person you wanted to wake up to. She needed to hear all the things you love about her. Not to mention the fact you do love her. The second problem is you are trying to have your cake and eat it too."

"What do you mean?" Ranger asked perplexed.

"All these barriers you have erected. Your need for control. You want her, but on your own terms so you can pretend like your life plan isn't already blown all to hell. Relationships are about compromise Carlos. You can't shoehorn her into your rigid life. You have to bend and soften so she can wrap around your life and make it whole. You need to learn to bend or you will break."

Ranger was shaking his head. "I'm not any good at relationships."

"Why do you say that?"

"Look what happened with Rachel. I sucked at that relationship, and I'm not sure I did the right thing when it came to Julie. I've been absent from my own child's life because I thought someone else could do it better."

"Why do you think your relationship with Rachel failed?"

"I'm selfish. I want what I want. I'm focused on building a business. I don't want to answer to other people." Ranger shrugged. There were a hundred reasons.

"Did you love Rachel?" Vinita's voice was soft and without judgement.

"No."

"Well then, that's your answer. The reason your relationship with Rachel failed is because you didn't love her. None of those other things factored into it. Mostly because they aren't true, but even to the degree they are, we see things differently when we love someone. We make changes and sacrifices to be with them, because they are more important."

"I don't know if I even ever want to get married again." Even as Ranger said he knew it wasn't entirely true, and it was just an excuse.

"Does Stephanie even want to get married? Did she tell you that?" Vinita gave him a pointed look that said stop trying to act like all women are desperate to be married.

"I don't know." Leave it to Vinita to see right through that excuse.

"Then don't buy trouble you don't need. Start with dating, then a relationship, before worrying about marriage. Lots of people live wonderful lives together without a license from the government to tell them they are in love."

Ranger blew out a frustrated breath. Vinita was right, but then she almost always was. "I guess I'm afraid I'll screw it up with Stephanie."

"I guess you have to decide what are you more afraid of. Trying and screwing up, or living without her." Vinita raised a shoulder. "It's really that simple. Stop trying to complicate it. Trust that famous gut of yours."

Ranger hooked his arm around Vinita and drew her in for a hug. "There are days I'm really glad I met you, Vinita Alvarez. And, then there are days it feels like a curse." He smiled as he kissed the top of her head.

He heard her snicker. She was smiling at him when he let her go.

"What's the deal with you and Senator Byron? It looked serious."

Vinita shrugged. "I like him, maybe it will eventually be more, but I had my one great love. Right now, I'm just enjoying him."

"You think that is it. We only ever get one great love?" Ranger was studying her.

Vinita reached up and cupped Ranger's face. "I think if you were about twenty years older, I might think it was possible to have two, but it was not meant to be." She winked at him. Ranger knew she was mostly joking. He'd often thought the same about her.

Vinita dropped her hand, and he heard the sadness tinge her voice. "I don't think I will ever feel about anyone else the way I feel about Alejandro. That man was the love of my life." Vinita locked eyes with him. "That's how I know Stephanie is yours."

The valet finally pulled up with Ranger's Porsche. Ranger leaned down and kissed Vinita on the cheek. "Go be a meddling woman."

Vinita smiled and headed back inside. "Go get your head out of your ass." She called back to him.

Ranger gave a humorless chuckle and slid into the Porsche. If only it were that easy, he thought. Vinita was right, he had screwed things up tonight. Mainly because he was terrified that if he said those things out loud, they would be true. The only problem was, they already were. Ranger had defaulted to what he knew best. Control and sex.

He pretty much figured that was all he had ever been good for in his life anyway. Well, that and killing. Even with Rachel it had been just about sex. And then the condom broke, and things got complicated. She'd married him out of necessity, but the way she looked at him in the light of day had given away exactly what she thought of him. She'd looked at him with barely contained disdain. Good girls liked bad boys. They were fun to fuck, but hell to live with.

Ranger called the control room. The knot in his gut twisting and turning. He was surprised, and relieved, to learn Montero was not spending the night. The knot in the pit of his stomach eased a little, as he pointed the car towards Stephanie's apartment. He could do this. He could make this right. Make her understand that he did care for her, and he was open to exploring a relationship, within reason. Marriage was not on the table, but then he got the feeling that wasn't a big deal, at least not for Stephanie. His concern was it would eventually be a deal breaker. For him.

When Ranger got to Stephanie's apartment, he took the stairs two at a time. Ranger knocked and waited. He could have just let himself in, but he wanted this to be on her terms. Ranger wanted Stephanie to invite him into her apartment and back into her life. He could feel nervous sweat gathering at the base of his spine. He knocked again. Still no answer, but he could sense that she was on the other side of the door.

"Come on Steph, just open the door. I need to talk to you."

A minute went by. "OK, babe. I know I fucked up tonight. When you're ready to listen to what I have to say, let me know." Ranger stalked off. He supposed he deserved it. She needed some time and space; he could do that. Even if it killed him.

Stephanie rested her forehead on the door, tears streaming down her face. She couldn't face him. Not tonight. Maybe never. She just didn't have it in her to take one more body blow.

A month later. …

It was almost midnight. God bless New Jersey for their all-night liquor and ammo shops. At least someone had their priorities straight. Stephanie was standing at the counter counting out her cash. The woman behind the counter was giving her a bored, somewhat skeptical look. It would have been easier if things didn't seem to be swimming. Stephanie closed one eye, to see if it helped. It didn't.

Stephanie tried to focus on what the woman was saying.

"Sure Guard, is a genuine chemical weapon. This can drop a three-hundred-pound man in six seconds. Works on neurotransmitters. This stuff touches your skin and you're out cold. Doesn't matter if you're drunk or on drugs. One spray and it's all over."

Stephanie thought it sounded dangerous, but she shrugged.

"Sure Guard comes in several sizes. I carry the seventeen-gram key-chain model. It has its own stainless steel quick-release loop, comes in an attractive leather case, and you get to choose from three decorator colors, although right now we only have pink."

"I'll take it." She was pretty sure she didn't slur her words.

The woman grimaced. "Darlin', you should avoid spraying yourself."

Stephanie gave her a thumbs up. She would roll her eyes, but the world was spinning enough already, and she was afraid she would fall on her ass.

"Nice work," Stephanie said, alluding to the woman's nails.

"Maura, at The Hair Palace, does them. She's a genius with nails, and she'll bikini wax you till you're bald as a billiard ball."

Stephanie just nodded. "Good to know." She was pretty sure that qualified as TMI.

That was the thing about bad ideas. They always started out sounding reasonable and logical and the next thing you knew, you were half a bottle of tequila in and buying nerve gas from a woman who waxed off all of her pubic hair.

Stephanie stumbled out onto the street and pulled out her phone. She was trying hard not to panic over the fact that she had tear gas under 125 pounds of pressure per square inch, which in her mind spelled nerve bomb, dangling from her key chain.

As far as bad ideas went, it wasn't like it was the worst one she had all day. Committing her entire life savings to a venture she knew nothing about, probably outranked a chemical bomb. Mostly anyway.

The cab pulled up and she poured herself in the back seat, willing herself not to puke. She could see the cabbie eyeing her in the rearview mirror.

Stephanie figured as long as she was having bad ideas, what was one more. It took two tries, but Stephanie finally stabbed the send button.

"Yo," Ranger said, answering the phone. His voice was husky, and she realized it was late and she'd probably awakened him.

"Ranger" she said. "It's Stephanie."

There was a moment of silence as if he was sensing her at the other end, taking her body temperature and heart rate long distance. "Babe," he finally said.

"I need to talk to you."

"Does this involve death?" He asked cautiously. In his defense, most of their interactions had involved a dead body, so it was a valid question.

"Not yet."

"Does this involve sex?" She could hear the smile in his teasing tone.

"Not yet." Although the thought of sex sent tingles to parts south, and she pressed her legs together.

"I can't imagine why else you'd be calling me." It had been a month since Ranger had stood outside her door begging for her to listen to him. His calls and texts had gone unanswered. Ranger had finally gotten the message.

Stephanie couldn't help but grimace a little. "There are lots of reasons, but I was wondering if you could meet me."

"Right now?"

"No, tomorrow. Say two at the Blue Bird Café."

"Sure. I bet they have good pie."

A beat of silence went by.

"Is there anything else you need from me?" Ranger asked.

"Not right now." Stephanie hedged. Just hearing his voice sent shock waves through her body, and she was finding it hard to hang up.

"There will come a time," Ranger said. "Let me know when." And he disconnected.

If there'd been any more innuendo in that conversation, Stephanie could have fried an egg on her forehead. The way it was, she was shamelessly fanning herself. About three weeks in she had begun to think no strings sex with Ranger hadn't actually been that bad of an idea. In fact, she was beginning to think it was about the best idea she'd had lately. B.O.B. was a poor substitute for a Ranger.

Ranger sat up in bed looking at the phone in his hand. There were things that you didn't know you needed, until you didn't have them. Things like oxygen and Stephanie Plum. Ranger bit back a curse. He was just to the point where he was starting to get back to normal. Move on from the crazy notion that he was in love. He'd all but begged her to listen to him, to hear him out for the last month, but she hadn't. She'd ignored his calls and his texts. Not that it had actually stopped him from sending them mind you.

Maybe Stephanie had the right idea. They'd burned hot and intense. That kind of relationship was dangerous to your sanity, and most days he was hanging on to his by a thread anyway. Ranger didn't have time for relationships, so he should be glad she had taken him out of the running. No doubt he would have tripped all over himself to make it work only to fail in the end. Besides Montero was back in the picture. He and Stephanie had been spending time together. Ranger had been relegated to the autonomous friend zone, and it had sucked. Or maybe he'd been relegated to mistake, which was worse.

Ranger flipped off the light and stared at the ceiling, and then back to her side of the bed that was still empty. Ranger sighed and got up to do some work. Sleep was not coming.

Stephanie popped open and one eye and then the other. She was face down on the couch. One arm and one leg hanging off the side. Her tongue felt like it had fur on it, and was devoid of moisture. Stephanie groaned as memories came flooding back. Tequila and bad decisions. She reached up and gingerly touched her head. It felt like someone had bashed her in the head with a rock. Now she remembered why only one of those things was her near constant companion. Tequila was the devil.

Stephanie pulled both feet over until they were on the floor. Her torso was still resting on the couch. She was starting to smell her own breath. It was entirely possible something had crawled into her mouth and died. That might explain the smell and the cotton feeling. She eased up into a sitting position and waited for the wave of nausea to pass. She swallowed a couple of times, hard. Which was a monumental feat in and of itself when you didn't have any spit in your mouth.

Jesus, she was never drinking again. Well at least not until the next time. She stumbled over the kitchen and looked at the clock. It was almost noon. She went over to the sink and drank some water straight from the tap. She figured she had just about enough time to make herself presentable and get to the Blue Bird Café for her meeting with Ranger.

Her hand was shaking so bad she barely managed to get coffee into the coffee maker, but thankfully if finally started making its life sustaining nectar. She took a big gulp not even caring that it practically scalded all the taste buds in her mouth. She realized she was drinking black coffee. The irony of that was not lost on her.

An hour later Stephanie was finally dressed. Jeans, t-shirt, kick-ass boots. The pounding in her head was down to a dull throb. She'd brushed her teeth twice, just to make sure the smell was gone, although she was a little afraid the smell of tequila was leaking out of her pores.

A light rain had started, and she grabbed a jacket. It seemed like every time she met Ranger it was raining. She wondered if that was a sign.

The Blue Bird Café sat cheek to jowl with several small businesses on Second Avenue. This wasn't the most prosperous part of town, but it wasn't the worst, either. Most of the businesses were family owned and operated. The yellow brick storefronts were free of graffiti and bullet holes.

The Blue Bird was approximately the size of a double-wide railroad car. There was a short counter with eight stools, a pastry display case and cash register. Booths stretched along the far wall. The linoleum was black-and-white checkerboard and the walls were bluebird blue. She guessed that is where they had taken the name from, because nothing else in the place even hinted at nature.

Stephanie took a booth, her back to the wall facing the door. The bell above the door jingled and Stephanie sucked in a sharp breath. Morelli strode in, his eyes searching her out. He looked good. Maybe a little thinner, but good. There was a softness to him that hadn't been there before. He seemed relaxed. And happy. A little pang went through her. Stephanie gave him a tentative smile as he approached.

"Hey Steph. Do you have a minute?"

Stephanie motioned for him to take a seat.

"You look good." Stephanie told him.

Morelli rolled his eyes. "Yeah, better than the last time you saw me. I've been meaning to talk to you. I saw your car, and.." Morelli's voice trailed off.

"Are you back to work?" Stephanie asked. Mainly for something to say, because she was a little afraid, she didn't want to know what Morelli wanted to talk about.

"Yeah, I started back last week. I'm on light duty but glad to be back. Sitting around was driving me crazy." He gave her one of his fabulous smiles. "What are you up to."

Stephanie shrugged. "Oh, the usual. Just trying to figure out next steps. Job, family." Stephanie kept her answer vague.

"I've missed you Steph. I'm really sorry about how things went down. You deserved better. A lot better. I really don't want us to be strangers."

He reached out and covered her hand with his.

"Me either." She whispered back. Her voice had fled and she wasn't really sure why.

Morelli withdrew his hand and reached inside his jacket and pulled out an envelope and placed it on the table.

She could tell by the linen stationary and the embossed writing what it was. She really wanted to look away, but she forced herself to look down at it.

'Teresa Gilman and Joseph Morelli invite you to join them at the celebration of their marriage.' Stephanie stopped reading and waited for it. The dagger through the heart, the nausea, the clenching gut, but it never came. She just felt at peace, relieved even. She realized there were a lot of reasons she never married Morelli. Terry had only been one of them. His job. His family. His friends. Her inability to commit. The truth was she'd never wanted to marry Morelli. She just wished she felt the same way about Ranger. It would make things so much easier.

She looked up and Morelli was studying her.

"Congratulations." Stephanie heard herself say. She was pretty sure she even meant it.

"Thank you." Morelli looked relieved. "I hope you come, but I understand if you don't."

Stephanie pasted a bright smile on her face. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Morelli blew out a big breath. "Good. I've got to go, but I'll see you around cupcake."

"Bet on it." Stephanie called to him as he left. She had a feeling she'd be seeing a lot of him.

Somehow her relationship with Morelli had progressed from downright hostile, to deliciously hot, to actually living with each other without complete mayhem, to friends. Enemies, to lovers, to friends. She wondered what it would be like with Ranger. Would they go from lovers, to enemies, to what? She picked at the napkin in her hand, tearing it to little shreds. With each passing minute her nervousness increased.

Ten minutes passed before Ranger's Porsche appeared at the end of the street, gliding through the rain, sleek and sinister, water not daring to adhere to the paint finish. Stephanie watched as he parked and got out.

Ranger looked good. He was in the standard RangeMan uniform of black shirt and black cargo pants. All those sharp, sculpted angles of his face, framed by dark silky hair, and that body all hard muscles and panther like grace. Clearly Ranger hadn't been living off of ice cream, twinkies, kit kats, tastykakes, and tequila. Stephanie sucked in her stomach. She should probably rethink her diet or she was going to need a bigger pair of jeans.

She licked her lips, and couldn't quite stop the flush of desire that went through her as she watched him walk across the parking lot. Everything about the man was pure sex. From the way he looked, to the way he moved, to the sound of his voice. By the way her panties got damp just looking at him, it was clear the catholic church hadn't been able to beat that sin out of her.

Ranger's eyes met hers. Dark and unreadable.

Oh boy she thought. She was pretty sure this was a bad idea. But then pretty sure wasn't the same as a hundred percent sure, so she steeled her spine and tried not to whimper when he slid into the booth across from her.

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A/N: A little bit of a bonus chapter. A lot of readers wanted Vinita to smack some sense into Ranger, and I was all for it!