"Are you sure you don't want to stay in the hospital for a few more days?" Sakura eyed Hinata while scrolling through her test results on the computer.
Hinata put her pullover back on that had been lying beside her on the examination bed. "Is there something wrong?"
Sakura pursed her lips. "No, everything seems fine. The surgery was successful. Your chakra flow seems to be normal, but we should monitor it to spot any abnormalities as soon as possible."
"I will come back for check-ups whenever you say."
"Hinata," Sakura leaned forward and grabbed Hinata's hand, hindering her from jumping off the bed she was sitting on. "Stay a few more days, please. Just until we figure out how you can regain your memories."
Jade eyes bore into a pupilless, lavender gaze and Hinata couldn't help but wince under Sakura's pleading glare. The pink-haired kunoichi firmly believed Hinata's memories to be fake, created only by her own consciousness as a result of an odd injury. She had told Hinata this theory a million times during the tests that were needed before she could leave the hospital.
For a brief second, Hinata pondered on the possibility of Sakura's theory being true. It was more believable than the existence of an alternate universe, but she wouldn't give in to a short moment of weakness. In every fiber of her being, Hinata sensed that this place wasn't where she belonged.
As Sakura stared into her eyes, Hinata wondered if Sakura's concern about her memories stemmed from worry toward herself, Naruto, or someone else.
Pulling out her hand from Sakura's friendly hold, Hinata smiled at her. "You don't have to worry about me, Sakura. May I go?"
Sakura bit on her lower lip and remained silent, looking as though she was contemplating forbidding Hinata from leaving the hospital. Eventually, with a small nod, she signaled that she was free to go home.
Hinata jumped off the examination bed, her previous smile still etched onto her face. When she stepped out to the corridor, she caught sight of Naruto waiting for her, holding Himawari's hand.
"Do you have Sakura-chan's permission to leave?" Naruto turned to her with a grin.
Hinata answered with a quick bob of her head. "Yes, everything's fine."
Himawari let go of Naruto's hand and ran to hug her mother. Being caught off guard by the momentum, Hinata stumbled a bit, but she managed to stay on her feet. As the little girl wrapped her small arms tightly around her waist, she remembered her own daughter, Aiko. Himawari was older than her by a few years, but Hinata felt the same affection and love radiating from the youngster.
Suddenly, she realized that even though she didn't know Himawari, Himawari knew her. A version of herself was her mother after all.
Hinata was uncertain of what kind of touches Himawari liked, but she unsurely stroked her hair. The gesture didn't seem too invasive but still provided comfort. Himawari seemed to appreciate the tender touch as her hug became even tighter than before.
"I told the kids about your memories."
Hinata lifted her gaze from the dark-haired girl snuggling against her lower body to look at Naruto. They had agreed on Naruto telling Boruto and Himawari a story they had fabricated—Hinata hitting her head during the fall which resulted in an unexpected memory loss. Guilt suffocated her because she didn't want to lie to these two children, but it was better this way. Himawari was still too young to deal with the possible loss of her mother.
"Don't worry, Mama, I will tell you everything you need to know," Himawari chirped, looking up at her mother with shiny blue eyes.
Hinata kneeled down in front of her and put her hands on her shoulder, squeezing them gently. "Thank you, Himawari. You would help me a lot."
Himawari threw her arms around Hinata's neck again and after a brief hesitancy, Hinata hugged her back, pulling her as close to her chest as she could. As painful memories struck her like a bolt of electricity, Hinata shut her eyes closed. She shuddered remembering her desperate attempt to protect Aiko from the dreadful enemy attack. Instinctively, she held onto Himawari tightly as though she was her dear Aiko.
Even though Hinata hadn't been aware of the little girl's existence up until now, she already felt the motherly instinct to love and protect her bubbling up in her soul. When she looked at Himawari, she could clearly see herself in her.
Hinata glanced at Boruto over Himawari's tiny shoulders. The blond boy was leaning against the wall and narrowed his eyes at her. Hinata tore her gaze away from him as soon as they locked eyes. She had yet to feel a connection to him. The fact that Boruto was visibly skeptical about the whole story behind his mother's memory loss didn't help either.
As the family walked out of the hospital, Himawari held Hinata's hand and didn't let go of it even for a second. During their walk, Hinata gaped at the new version of Konoha that surrounded her.
Leaving the hospital gates, Hinata was dumbstruck. She couldn't wrap her mind around the advanced technology in this reality. The enormous, towering buildings and gigantic screens with Naruto's grinning face plastered across them rendered her speechless.
It differed so vastly from her Konoha. Electricity and running water were the only luxuries she was privy to in her reality.
But the most astonishing of all was the peaceful nature of this society. Children ran past her without a care in the world and Hinata instinctively twirled around searching for their parents, just to figure out they were unsupervised. Although, from the casualness of the adults nearby, it seemed like an ordinary occurrence.
She wasn't used to this prevalent peace. Where she came from, mothers clutched their children close to their bosoms whenever out in public.
Hinata couldn't help but smile at the safety of this land and wondered if the advancement and progression were due to this sacred law and order.
"You always say this shop is the best to buy groceries. This bakery has the most delicious cinnamon rolls. We usually walk down this road when we bring lunch to Papa in the Hokage Tower," Himawari pointed at almost every place they walked past, excitedly narrating the respective importance in their lives. After the first few minutes, Hinata decided that aiming for memorizing everything was unfeasible, to say the least.
"We're here," Naruto halted in front of a gate and turned to face Hinata with a hand placed on his hips.
Hinata glanced at the hiraganas written on the fence made of stone that spelled 'Uzumaki'.
Himawari let go of Hinata's hand and ran to open the gate. "Welcome home, Mama," she cheered and leaped toward the front door, waving for Hinata to follow her.
Hinata complied, but her gaze was fixated on the oddly shaped building. She couldn't help but dwell on the fact that the house in front of her was remarkably different than the one she and Sasuke shared. Glimpses of a traditionally styled home swirled in front of her eyes, suffocating her.
To cope with the sudden flood of emotionality and homesickness, Hinata focused her thoughts on the rounded building she would call home for the time being. With a small smile, she concluded that the oddity of the house represented Naruto all too well.
After stepping inside, Hinata let herself be lost in the atmosphere that greeted her. It smelled different than the home she remembered—instead of pine, smoke, and plum, she tasted a mixture of orange, vanilla, and marigold in the air.
The pleasant scent robbed Hinata of her ability to concentrate while Himawari took her hand and showed her around the first floor. The little girl danced them around with giggles and impatient steps, but all that occupied Hinata's mind was the sweet, strangely familiar odor filling the rooms.
After Himawari was done with her makeshift touring and they returned to the living room, Hinata plopped down on a chair at the dining table. Boruto was sitting in one of the armchairs, pushing some black buttons on a flat, lit-up box he held in his lap. The weird noises that resembled music prompted Hinata to tilt her head to the side in curiosity.
Himawari snuggled up to Boruto to be able to better watch the device in his hands, and with a quiet sigh, Hinata tore her gaze away from them.
Drumming her fingers on the flat of the table, she tried to figure out what she was supposed to do. Closing her eyes, she thought back to the life that she should be living.
The mental image of herself, making tea for Sasuke came to mind. Hinata could almost hear Kosuke's giggles as he played hide and seek with Aiko, and Hiroki's huffs when his younger siblings pestered him to join. She felt Aiko's silky hair between her fingers and the stolen squeeze of her hand that Hiroki ashamedly gave her every night before bed. Her oldest always acted as though he was confident in himself and his abilities, but when night came and Hinata went to say goodnight, he let himself be a child for a short moment.
The spots on her cheeks where Kosuke used to leave wet kisses burned and the absence of Sasuke's strong hand on the small of her back sent a jolt of twinge up her spine.
Before the prickling tears in the back of her eyes could break free, Hinata swallowed the lump in her throat. She swung herself onto her feet with the aim of making tea for Naruto, but when she took a step forward to get to the kitchen, he was already standing in front of her with two cups of steaming tea in his hands.
"Sit down," Naruto murmured and pushed one of the cups into her hands.
Dumbfounded by the firm motion, she tightened her grip around the cup and took a sip of tea, burning the tip of her tongue. Although, the burning sensation was almost pleasant—it reminded her that she was alive.
As they sat at the table, drinking their cups of tea without talking, Hinata couldn't tear her gaze away from the man sitting in front of her. Naruto, who was supposed to be dead but also happened to be her husband. Naruto, who once had been her light before it blackened from one moment to another.
"No, I lost again! I can't believe this game," Boruto's frustrated yell dragged Hinata out of her inner world.
Himawari tilted her head to his shoulder as she cheered, "Onii-chan, try again. Don't give up! You can do it!"
The way Himawari hooked her arms around Boruto's waist was almost identical to how Aiko usually latched her small limbs around Kosuke's body. Hinata bit on her lower lip as foreboding questions pushed everything aside in her mind. Were Aiko and Kosuke still even alive? Her nails painfully bit into the skin of her palm as she balled her fists, her mind racing with all the dire possibilities.
A whisper so low that Hinata almost couldn't catch it came from Naruto's mouth. "Are you thinking about… your memories?"
Hinata couldn't detect the reason behind the small crack in his voice, but she lifted her penitent gaze from her tea. "I'm sorry about everything that happened. I know I'm not the only one suffering."
Not being able to keep the eye contact, Hinata looked down at her hands that were holding onto the teacup so tightly that she feared they would break it.
The worry that had been whirling in Naruto's irises gave away the deep desperation he must've felt—the same kind that was slowly eating Hinata away. She couldn't fathom what was going on in Naruto's mind. After all, his wife's spirit had disappeared from her body and the consciousness of a new Hinata occupied it now, leaving him indefinitely trapped with his wife's counterpart from another world.
Naruto might think the two of them were almost identical, but Hinata knew they weren't the same person at all. They had lived entirely different lives.
"Mom, will you make dinner?" Boruto's casual inquiry left Hinata perplexed. For a moment, she had forgotten about everyone in this new reality apart from Naruto.
She parted her lips in a response, but Naruto jumped to his feet, leaping toward the fridge. "I think we have some leftovers from yesterday. We can eat that."
"No, no, I can make dinner," Hinata pushed herself up from the chair, giving a small smile as she declared, "I didn't forget how to cook."
Naruto arched an eyebrow. "Are you sure? You don't have to. I can go to get some takeaway ramen."
Hinata placed her hands on her hips with a dismissive click of her tongue. "That's not the healthiest thing to eat."
A smile flickered across Hinata's face upon witnessing Naruto uncomfortably scratching the nape of his neck, turning his gaze toward the ceiling as though he disagreed but wasn't brave enough to voice his discontent. While Boruto and Himawari giggled in the background, Hinata sauntered to the fridge. It was loaded with ingredients and as she took out the things she needed, she pondered on the fact that her counterpart wasn't too different after all.
From the corner of her eyes, Hinata saw Himawari's head appearing next to her. "Can I help?" she asked with a bright smile.
Hinata looked down at the short girl with slightly parted lips. She wasn't used to getting help in the kitchen as Sasuke hated cooking, her boys were more interested in fighting, and her daughter was still too young to effectively assist her. Biting on the inner side of her cheeks to remind herself that she was in another reality, she reached out to pat Himawari's head. "I would appreciate it, Himawari. Can you please wash and chop the vegetables?"
Himawari swirled next to the kitchen counter and after thoroughly washing the ingredients, she took a big kitchen knife in her hands. Hinata watched her with nervousness wrinkling her face, but when she concluded Himawari was proficient enough not to cut her fingers off, she let out a sigh of relief.
Hinata couldn't easily be distracted during cooking, but right now, she couldn't help but eye Naruto's every movement. He was leaning over his son, watching him smashing the buttons on the box in his hands. Boruto tried to shoo him away, but Naruto just playfully ruffled his hair and stayed, occasionally commenting on what the boy should do which just made the preadolescent grunt in annoyance.
Naruto seemed to be a good father. The thought caused Hinata to tear up, but she quickly wiped her tears away before Himawari could notice.
When the meal was ready, Himawari helped Hinata set the table. Hinata put the food in the middle and asked the boys to join them. They ate in silence which she figured was unusual for the Uzumaki household as every one of them seemed stiff and uncomfortable in their seats.
"How's the food?" she chose to break the silence.
Naruto grinned at her with a mouth full of food. "Very delicious, thank you."
"Manners, Papa! You should swallow your bite before speaking," Himawari scolded him in a way that made Hinata chuckle.
"You're right, Hima. I'm sorry," Naruto laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. Hinata noticed the nickname he used for Himawari and took a mental note to start using it.
Glancing over to Boruto, Hinata fixated her eyes on the food on his plate. He had been only picking at his meal the whole time. "What about you, Boruto? You don't like it?"
"Onii-chan only likes to eat burgers."
Hinata blinked. "Burgers?"
She had never heard about this particular food, but she believed she could manage to cook anything; she just needed a good recipe. Opening her mouth to assure Boruto that she would cook him burgers next time, she sucked back air when the boy's rude tone cut her off even before she had the chance to let out the faintest sound.
"It's not that," he grunted. Hinata winced upon the disrespectfulness but opted for staying silent. "I know something bad must've happened to you, Mom, and you're keeping it a secret. I'm not stupid."
"Of course you're not stupid. But it's just a memory loss, you don't have to worry about it. Eventually, everything will return to normal," Hinata spoke softly and forced a smile on her face to reassure Boruto, but he jumped to his feet and smacked his hands on the table, causing all the plates and glasses to clatter.
His blue eyes bore into Hinata's lavender ones. He wasn't shouting, but his voice was firm and accusatory as he articulated, "You're lying. You're different. Even the food you made is different. You've never cooked anything like this."
"Boruto—" Naruto stood up and raised his voice with a pitch to signal Boruto to stop, but his son's harsh glare made him press his lips together.
Boruto's voice trembled and his fists curled up next to his body, but he didn't break eye contact with his father as he continued, "Dad, why are you here? It's because something happened to Mom that's serious enough for the Hokage to be around. Am I right?"
Hinata darted her eyes back and forth between father and son without saying a word. She was itching to defend Naruto and herself, but as she wasn't actually Boruto's mother, she decided she would let Naruto handle the situation.
However, Naruto only stood there dumbfounded, unable to come up with an explanation. Boruto surely didn't have the best manners, but he was quite sharp—they were indeed keeping a secret and he hit the nail on the head by pointing out inconsistencies in Hinata's behavior.
The stillness around them heaved on the small family until Boruto shrugged as though he wasn't interested anymore, but the painful crack in his voice gave his true feelings away as he mumbled, "Whatever."
Without saying anything else, he turned around and made his leave. The thumping noise as he ran up the stairs and the loud thud caused by the smashing of his bedroom door floated around the dinner table as a somber reminder of distrust.
Naruto was the first to react with a sigh of defeat and plopped down on his chair. "I'm sorry about that."
"Is he angry with you?" Himawari asked, peeping up from under her bangs, shaken by the sudden outburst of her beloved older brother.
Hinata placed a hand on her tiny shoulders and gave her a small smile. "He's just stressed, it's okay. Do you want to help me clear the table, Hima?"
Without a word, Himawari slipped off her chair and started picking up the empty glasses and plates. Soon, Hinata found herself standing behind the sink full of a huge pile of dirty tableware.
Washing the dishes let her mind waver. The string of her thoughts brought her back to the family she so clearly remembered but had no physical traces in this place. The doleful tremor in Boruto's blue irises when he looked at Naruto mirrored the one that always twisted Kosuke's usual cheerful expression into a frown when he realized Sasuke needed to leave for a few days again.
"I'm afraid that one day, he won't come back," Kosuke whispered into Hinata's ear one night before bed, blinking rapidly to make the dampness of his eyes disappear.
Hinata pulled him into a tight embrace as she pressed a soft kiss onto his blueish hair. "He will always come back, my love."
The memory stung and made Hinata's breathing hitched. Who would've thought she would be the one who disappeared one day without a trace?
Hot water almost burned her skin through, but it still couldn't eradicate the icy chill running through her whole body.
As she lifted her gaze at Naruto who had been sitting at the table without as much as a twitch of his fingers, glaring into the emptiness with dull eyes, Hinata figured she wasn't the only one who was about to throw up.
"Is everything alright?" When Naruto turned his head to the side with the pace of a snail, Hinata saw a shadow passing through his face. She cast her eyes downward as she muttered, "I'm sorry, it was a stupid question."
"I'm sorry, I spaced out." A grin took over the whiskered cheeks but the fakeness of it was painfully obvious. "How do you feel? Isn't your head hurting?"
Unconsciously, Hinata lifted her hand to massage the back of her scalp, frowning when she brushed an aching spot. "It only hurts when I touch it."
She pressed her lips into a thin line when she noticed the sudden narrowing of Naruto's eyes. He was quick to hide it behind a gentle smile, but that one second of wariness twisted Hinata's insides. She gripped the edge of the kitchen counter and leaned against it, pushing the bone of her pelvis into it as though discomfort could erase the trepidation pulsating in the pit of her stomach.
"We can go back to the hospital to Sakura-chan if you're in pain. She can help."
Hinata's fingers clenching around the edge of the counter felt as though they could break the hard surface into half any moment. The conversation was going in a way she didn't want it to go. "It's… it's not that bad. You don't have to worry."
"I know you're strong, Hinata." The fond smile still occupied Naruto's face, but somehow, the tone of his voice suggested encouragement instead of reassurance. "Finding yourself in another reality must be crazy, huh?"
"Y-Yes… it's pretty crazy."
Naruto leaned forward and placing his elbows on top of the table, he laid his chin onto his intertwingled fingers. "Tell me about it."
Hinata only blinked.
"Do you remember it? Your other life?"
Her mouth was dry, causing her voice to sound hoarse as she muttered, "I think so."
The corners of Naruto's eyes twitched but his smile didn't drop. "It's weird to know that I could easily be dead."
Hinata's face darkened in an instant, but before she could reprimand him for talking about a real tragedy in such a casual way, Naruto leaped to his feet, stretching his arms above his head as though he had just woken up from a good night of sleep.
"Better not to even think about it, right? I will go check up on Boruto." In a flash, he was already walking up the stairs.
Hinata let her shoulders drop and she finally pried her fingers off the edge of the kitchen counter. Swinging herself back and forth on her legs, her gaze wandered around the room and the family photos hanging on the wall drew her attention. She ambled toward them and ran her gaze through all the happy scenes that they painted.
Her heart skipped a beat when her eyes shifted to a wedding photo of herself and Naruto. Deeply buried feelings of longing suddenly resurfaced and knocked Hinata off balance. Her head was spinning and the nape of her neck pounded with a dizzying force.
For a moment, a new memory surfaced of a necklace with an amber stone cupped in tanned hands—it invaded her mind and left her breathless. Blue, glistening eyes merged into mismatched, black and purple ones and Hinata wanted to scream but no sound left her parted lips.
Suddenly, a small hand slipped into hers and when she snapped her head down, she spotted Himawari standing next to her, looking up at her mother with puppy eyes. "You always come to give a goodnight kiss."
The previous invasive glimpse onto something that had long passed got pushed into the back of her mind, and a gentle smile stretched over Hinata's cheeks. She let Himawari guide her up the stairs and to her room where the little girl jumped into her bed and Hinata didn't hesitate to tuck her in. She gave Himawari a small peck on her forehead, saying goodnight, but when she leaned back, Himawari sat straight back up.
"Mama, will your memories ever come back?" she asked with a heart-wrenching expression twitching her face.
Squeezing her little hands, Hinata cooed, "It doesn't matter, Himawari. I'm still your mother."
As soon as the words left her mouth, a tickling warmth spread all the way through Hinata's body. Himawari was her daughter just as much as Aiko was even if she wasn't the one giving birth to her. Hinata was still her mother and she would protect her as she would her own.
Himawari's slouched shoulders immediately straightened upon hearing her mother's words and her blue eyes shimmered with relief. Hinata gave her another goodnight kiss and once she saw Himawari turning around to face the wall, she switched off the lights in her room.
After closing the door behind herself, she took a moment to observe her surroundings. She was faced with two wooden doors, one closed and one slightly ajar. Guessing the closed one most probably lead to Boruto's room, she headed for the other one.
She unsurely pushed the door fully open, but the moment she laid eyes on the furniture inside, she knew whose bedroom it was—Naruto and her counterpart's. The sight of the huge, neatly made double bed grasped her attention, and didn't let go.
"I can go to the Hokage Tower to sleep."
Hinata flinched upon hearing Naruto's voice next to her. She had been so stunned by realizing she shared a bed with Naruto that she didn't even hear him leave Boruto's room.
"You don't have to," she answered quickly, a blush blooming on her pale face. Tucking a wisp of hair behind her ears, she stammered, "I mean, I understand that I'm not your wife, but it's just sleeping. We can turn our backs to each other. Besides, if you leave for the night, the kids would be more confused."
Naruto's silence roared louder than any amount of shouting. He only stared at Hinata with blue eyes filled with a whirlpool of emotions, so many of them that Hinata couldn't even pinpoint each individual one.
"Only if you're okay with it, too," he whispered, but his low voice sounded like a blast after the long silence.
"It's okay," she nodded frantically, trying to hide her embarrassment. "I… I will go to take a shower." She grabbed the tidily folded pajamas that she had previously spotted on the bed and made her escape.
She showered with cold water because it gave her the certainty that she wasn't dreaming. During the day, Hinata oftentimes imagined it was nothing but a dream, that she was unconscious after bodying that attack, and her mind was only painting a reality that she had once wished for. However, even the ice-cold water didn't wake her up.
Abruptly, an idea swept through her mind while she was dwelling on the concept of reality. She lifted her hand to form a hand sign and whispered, "Release."
Nothing happened. She tried again, closing her eyes in concentration, but all she could feel was the goosebumps running up her arms as the cold water played with her body temperature. A dejected sigh left her purple lips. Everything would be so much easier if it was only a genjutsu.
When Hinata got back to their shared bedroom, Naruto was already lying under the blanket. Hinata's legs shook as she crawled under the cover. She gripped the bedsheet when a wave of warmth brushed her skin. Without looking at the man lying far but still too close to her, she turned her back to him, making sure no body parts of theirs were touching.
"Good night, Hinata," he murmured and switched off the lights on the nightstand, making the room completely dark.
"Good night, Naruto," she whispered back.
Thank you all for your feedback, I appreciate it a lot! I know a lot of things might not make sense now, but everything will click into place, eventually. I hope you enjoyed this angsty but somehow still fluffy family-oriented chapter.