Ani's P.O.V.
How could they have not told me about that move? That one move I just apparently can't get out of. How could neither of them tell me? Did they both always know?
Laying in the bed at late hours of the night, my mind keeps me up replaying the move I lost to today. I keep repeating the memory in my mind, recalling each time that move has bested me without realizing. I feel dumb at how many times it's happened throughout the years. Laying in Kylo's bed, my cuffed hands rest under the pillow my head lies on. I'm under the covers of the bed, still in the nightgown from this morning. Kylo hasn't returned since cuffing me to his bed, and he hasn't moved to the saber and Helmet mocking me on his desk. All I've been doing is replaying the move in my mind, trying to find a way out of it, only to come empty of ideas. The workers have fixed his door and left without a word to me, locking me in. Every glance at the light saber makes me want to cry, but I've been good at holding them back all night.
The door slides open and my eyes move to the doorway to find Kylo coming in. His back seems tense as he takes off his helmet, his expression seems exhausted and sleep deprived. I do not know what he's been up to but I'm assuming he's been cleaning up my mess. Tossing his helmet to the desk, it knocks into my father's helmet. He takes one glance at me and our eyes meet one another before he storms into the bathroom. He slams the door behind him and my eyes look back at the wall across from me. I hear the shower start and my eyes take one more glance at the helmets and saber resting lazily on the desk. I feel my eyes water and I sniffle, trying to keep it together. I knew I would not win, he's trained longer than I have now and has new strength I've never tried by the darkside but I didn't know I'd lose to a move we've done for over years now.
After what feels like forever, the shower stops and I hear him shuffling around the bathroom. I close my eyes as the door opens and listen to him head to the cupboard. I sense he's changing into something before sighing tiredly to himself. The bed underneath me dips and I suspect he's getting in to lie beside me. He turns off the light in the room and the sheet slides a little against my body. I move my hands underneath the pillow and hear the metal glide on itself, as if it's my wakening. My tears finally slip past my eyelids. Silent tears roll down my cheeks. This is what my training has gotten me. Cuffed to a bed of a friend I no longer know. My training has failed me, it somehow always had. I sniffle again as quietly as I could and I hear Kylo move on the bed behind me. Fingers glide up my back under the sheet and don't jump away, I do absolutely nothing from the feeling of Kylo's finger skimming my back. As if my not reacting to his touch is unsettling, Kylo mumbles in the darkness, "I didn't mean for you to find you..."
Letting a sob escape my lips, I push my head further into the pillow to hide my sound. Him admitting that is my undoing; I feel defeated in every way. I feel defeated in my training, in who I am, in who my family used to be and what I've become in the past two years. Nothing about me and nothing I've learning in my life can get me out of the life I'm in now. I have nothing left to hold on to for hope, nothing comforts me anymore. I try hard not to make a sound, but even the pillow my face is in can't help muffle my crying. Feeling an arm wrap around my waist, my weeps pause and I sense my back on Kylo's chest. His head rests on the top of my back and his other hand goes beneath my waist resting on the bed. Kylo's holding me tightly in his arms and for a moment I allow myself to believe the man holding me is Ben Solo, just Ben Solo.
Crying without shoving my face into the pillow, I lean back into Ben's chest. His hand under my waist holds me close as the other above me rubs my arm under the pillow. His hand rubs just before touching the cuffs and I allow his affection as if we're still in one of our huts on Yavin 4 and we're still the people we used to be. Ben sighs against my back as I let my pained sounds fall through my lips. I cry as if I'm crying to the Ben I've cared and loved; I cry as if this is the same boy who pulled me out of the ditch we made. I feel his lips brush against my shoulder and I finally move my tied hands out from under the pillow. Taking his hand rubbing my arms, I hold it with both of mine and keep it against my chest. I try to ignore my mind and just think of the feeling of Ben around me to calm my nerves. I sense he's still awake behind me as my sniffles become low breaths. I listen to my breath until I hear him express quietly in the silence, "Your still outstanding warrior, Ani. No matter what's become of you."
I don't respond right away, my mind whirling with thoughts. He must've read my thoughts for him to say what he did. His hand against my chest rubs his thumbs on my collarbone and I allow my eyes to close. I let myself pretend Ben Solo is comforting me, that he's the one wrapped around me. It's only with that in mind I approve myself to whisper in submission before letting sleep take over, "I won't try to escape again, Ben. You have me."
Feeling a headache awaken me, I look around to find myself alone in the room. Sitting up, I see the helmets and saber gone from the desk. I notice a tray at my side on the bedside table, taking the top off it I discover my breakfast for this morning. I feel slightly drained and hollow from the day before. As I place the plate on my lap, I eat the best I can with the restraints on. My mind feels blank, empty even. It's the first time I don't make a plan to leave or think about memories. It's the first time I just eat my breakfast with nothing on my mind but the taste of what I'm eating. I feel completely defeated in everyway and have nothing to do but live in this current situation. Once I'm finished with my meal, I set the plate back on the bedside table and plop back down on the bed in wait for what Kylo will do with me next.
I will do this Anakin's way and simply stay.
It feels like an hour has gone by since I've eaten my breakfast, I've done nothing but stare at the ceiling fidgeting with my chains. When another hour goes by, I flip to lie on my belly, I realize the smell I'm smelling on the pillows is Kylo. He apparently smells like rubber and something his father used to smell like. Half an hour passes and I flip over again, I'm basically on Kylo's side of the bed now. After ten minutes of smelling his pillow out of boredom, I lift my head to realize I can watch the hangar out of the window. Leaning up against his headboard on my knees to look up out the window behind his bed, I watch stormtroopers and ships in the hangar. Stormtroopers walk in groups in and out as ships land while some leave. I see Captain Phasma and feel the back of my hairs straighten in annoyance. I watch her talk to a man with red hair. I remember him being the man who ran from me when I was killing troopers.
The door behind me opens and I turn to find two stormtroopers come in with a woman behind them. She's holding a dress but not shoes for them and a little bag. One stormtrooper has his gun aimed at me and the other quickly follows as if he forgot to do it. The one who paused before aiming the gun at me speaks up in a wavering tone, "We're here to uh- Let you shower-"
"And you're requested to have her dress you." The other stays more confident and comes up the side of the bed. Taking off my restraints, he grabs my arm and guides me to the bathroom. I open the door as the woman comes in to set the dress on the bed. Glancing at the other stormtrooper, I sense him curiously looking around the room. I watch him in amusement before finally going into the restroom, closing the door behind me. Turning on the shower and stripping, my mind wanders to the unusual trooper. As I get in the shower, I think he might just be new in the First Order, but his aura feels different from the other one. Cleaning my hair, I try to place what the atmosphere is, but it seems too small to label. Washing the soap from my body, I get out of the shower and wipe myself dry with a towel. I wrap it around my body once I've dried my hair all I could before stepping out of the bathroom. When I come back into the bedroom, I find one trooper still here with the woman. He notices I'm barely covered and turns his head to the side, shield his gaze from me stuttering, "Quickly get dressed, please."
I smile at his manners; I have heard no one say please to me in years. Dropping the towel, I sense he's true to his gesture and won't look. The woman quickly comes to my side and helps me into the dress. It's a dark red dress that ends at my knees, it's breathable around my chest and waist. The front has a deep v-line that goes lower than my breasts are, and she has to mess with the front to make sure my boobs don't pop out. The material feels thinner than the last dress and has fewer layers. Once the dress feels secure on my body, the woman opens her little bag and pulls out a brush and a few strings. Sighing, I sit down on the desk chair and allow her to mess with my hair without her asking. As she combs my hair, it accrues to me why I'm being forced into these dresses and hairstyles. Kylo Ren misses seeing me in the getups his mother dressed me in. The outfits are more for his appeal than his mother's were back then, but the notion of his request doesn't go unnoticed. Glancing at the stormtrooper, I blurt out something I never bothered asking, "What's your name?"
"Uh, well- I..." Sighing, he answers more firmly, "FN-2187, Ms. Kenobi."
Resting my head on the window seal, I watch troopers walk around the hanger from Kylo's bed once again. I'm in the cuffs with the loose red dress on, my hair is in loose waves with a couple of braids. The woman had worked quickly on my hair and the second stormtrooper came back in to restrain me to the bed. He also had set a tray of food for my lunch after on the bedside table. Since they've left, my mind has wandered to FN-2187, he seems different from the other troopers. I hope he comes again next time Kylo orders for them to play dress up with me. I want to know about him; I want to figure out what's with his aura. I'm very good at using the force to read someone's aura, but his seems so faint it's as if he doesn't know he contains it. Watching out the window, I perk up seeing Kylo trudging through the hangar.
His helmet is on, and he's not giving anyone on the platform his attention. The ginger from earlier is falling behind him at a slower pace, he seems to tell Kylo something, but he doesn't seem interested. The ginger stops trying to catch up to him and storms the opposite way in frustration, making me smirk. I watch Kylo until he goes to another door and disappears from view. All day I've been watching the scene in front of me, I'm not sure how long this will last until I get bored with it, but I'm guessing I have a few more days before I for antsy from only people watching. I notice two stormtroopers guiding a soldier from the resistance on the side and bend over a little more to see where they're dragging him too.
As my eyes follow them to the corner of the window, I hear the door open behind me and I glance behind me, still slightly bent over on the bed. When realizing it's Kylo, I lower myself back on the bed to sit right. He standing at the doorway watching me with his helmet and I feel underdressed in his sight. The dress I'm wearing seems almost like a flower dress, but it's comfortable to wear on the bed. His uniform seems the opposite of mine, he's ready to fight off anything in his way with his clothes. I feel his eyes gliding over my body before asking in the robotic tone, "Is that what you've been doing all day?"
"What else am I supposed to do?"
I murmur, ashamed of being caught by him, fidgeting with the dress around my thighs. He takes off his helmet then and sets it on the desk before sitting in the chair in front of it. He glances at me with an odd look before tapping something on the side of the desk. Something turns on and I move closer to the corner of the bed near him to peep over over him. The top of the black desk is now a screen with things all over it, and he taps things on it and moving them around. No doubt it's some type of work he does for the First Order. I'm on all fours now quietly looking over his shoulder trying to figure out what he's doing. As if I'm too quiet, Kylo peers over his shoulder to look at me and a blush grows on my cheeks from being caught spying. His eyes glance down from my face, causing me to go the same and notice my breasts are more exposed in this position from this dress. I sit up straight then and I notice his expression change; he glances to the desk before staring back at me and questions.
"Are you going to give me problems this afternoon?"
"No..." I whisper slightly annoyed he has to ask, I feel like I've been very easy today compared to most. I've tried very hard all day not to plot my revenge or escape, and I haven't done that in years. I watch his mind, deciding something in his thoughts before he uses the force to unlock my cuffs around my wrists. Watching them fall past my hands, I hear Kylo command in front of me, "Come here and try to be pleasant."
"Could say the same to you..." I mumble as I get up from the bed, rubbing my wrists. When I'm by his side, he grabs me by the waist with his gloved hand and pulls me down to sit on one of his thighs. I stiffen a little from the action, but stay seated as I look down at the desk in front of us. His arm holds my waist to keep me seated with my back against his chest. Quietly staring at the top of the desk, I notice it's become a touchable screen for him to work on. His free hand opens a part of a map of planets and stars with a line going through it. I watch him make the map bigger in a section to read the planets around the system. I watch him puzzled at what we're looking at, but anything at this point is better than people watching stormtroopers. As I read off the planets, I feel his thumb on my hip rub circle into my side and his posture relaxes more. He moves the map and I notice a rather large piece of it missing in it. Frowning, I have ask curious about why we're looking at a half empty map, "Why are we looking at this?"
"I'm trying to figure out where this map leads to." Kylo murmurs boredly at my question with his eyes staring at the system near the empty part of the map. Sighing to myself, I stand up to move to the loveseat but his hand keeps a firm grip on my hip. Pushing me back to sit on his thighs, Kylo insists on no room to argue with him, "You either sit here without cuffs or I'm putting you back on my bed. With cuffs, your choice."
Humming back my response, I relax in his lap and rest my side into his chest. Watching him move the map around silently, I lay my head on his shoulder and continue watch him without a fight. I sense him enjoying me being obedient from feeling him lean back in to the chair to become more comfortable and his gloved hand loosens his grip on my waist. My hair lies on his back from my head on his shoulder and my hands are in my lap watching every move of his hand. The hand on my waist free its grasp and presses on planets on top of his desk and the free hand moves to hold my thigh in his lap. After a moment of sitting in the silence, I speak out knowing it might annoy him.
"I know why you keep forcing that woman dress me and fix my hair."
He doesn't respond, but he lets out a quiet, low breath. I move my head so my chin rests on his shoulder and I'm able to peek at the side of his face. His face looks tense but his body underneath mine feels composed, I study his long dark hair before my eyes go back to study his expression. Biting my bottom lip, I look away from him and continue to stay silent so I don't get him anger than he might already be from my words. Peering at his desk I feel his gloved hand move against my thigh petting me, he rubs just until his thumb is under my dress before gliding his hand back down to my knee. The next moment I hear him admit in a faint voice with his eyes glued to the desk screen.
"You deserve to look like the angel you are, Ani. I will tolerate nothing less than that for you."