Kylo Ren's P.O.V.
"I got taken away from my home too."
My mind awakens at the sounds of whispers beside me; blinking awake in the dark, I realize it's Anakia talking to her pet Snips. It's the second night since I got her the loth-kitten, Ani's smitten with it since she first lay eyes on it. I feel a little disturbed Ani's attention is not on me right away anymore, but I can tell the cat has lifted her spirits in ways I can't. In time I know she won't have her complete focus on the cat but my regretting getting her a force sensitive cat. It can tell I'm not using the force on the side it contains, and that's what causes it to despise me, but worship Anakia. The force they both contain from the light side gives one another a sense of trust. I'm sleeping beside Ani with my hands to myself by my sides when her voice wakes me up.
The night before, I tried to hold Ani while we were sleeping, but Snips attacked my hand. I demanded Ani to put it in the cage, but she whined, saying Snips wanted to sleep by her side, so I let her keep it on her side of the bed. In these past two days, the cat has done nothing but attack me when I attempt to touch Ani. I've grown frustrated with the cat rather quickly because of this, Ani has noticed and been nicer to me to balance out with the cat's hate for me. With time, I'll talk Ani into putting Snips in the cage at night when she's gotten use to her. I don't know how long I can take getting bitten when touching Anakia, it's every goddamn time. It's like the cat can sense it with the force and runs at me like I'm one of her rat toys.
"I know it's kinda scary... First night in a new place with no one you know."
Ani whispers to the cat, I feel myself on high alert like I shouldn't be here listening. I keep my eyes closed as I listen in on Ani's conversation to Snips. Neither one has sensed I'm awake, Snips probably would attack me again if she noticed. I've enjoyed every reaction and attitude Ani's given me since I gave her the cat, just not the cat itself. I love coming into my room and seeing a smile on Ani's lips; I haven't seen it in so long, and I yearn to make her do that for me. I had felt so ridiculous ordering of a squad of stormtroopers to get me the cat and supplies for it, but it seems as if it's paying off from how Anakia's been treating me. Staying still in my position, I continue to ease drop on Ani's discussion to her pet.
"I've gotten used to being alone every day, it gets lonely, but I have you now... And you have me. We'll be lonely together." I hear the cat purr and Ani giggles at something the cat does, I hold back a snort. The thought of Ani's acting like Snips is talking back to her makes me want to roll my eyes. After a moment I pick up on Ani murmuring out to the Snips, "You know you can sleep with Kylo in the room... He won't do anything. I can tell your tired, you can't just stay up all night trying to protect me from him, Snips."
My eyes blink open from her statement, thinking about it now I realized the night before the cat didn't fall asleep before I did. When I woke up the cat had been up before I was while Anakia was still sleeping. Perhaps the cat hasn't slept at all with my presences around. I've heard chewy say once that animals are smarter than people think, and it's only now that I'm believing it. The cat is smart with the force, even if it doesn't know she's using it to sense dark side predators.
"I'll let you in on a secret of mine no one else knows, I don't think he's such an awful guy. Dangerous, conflicted and harsh maybe... But not to me anymore. He'll keep me safe, you too. He's kept me safe since I've known him- Don't give me that look." She's giggling again and I feel she shift under the sheet before continuing, "He has kept me safe, Snips... Not in the ways I wanted, but... in how it matters. I believe he'll keep me safe no matter what... I- I trust him to do that. So you need to sleep at night or he'll make me put you in the cage at night. You don't want that, huh?" Anakia snorts and relaxes more in the bed whispering, "Now, let's actually sleep this time. We have a long day of doing nothing tomorrow."
Suddenly I feel her foot against my calf, it rubs lightly up and down to my ankle. Trying to stay still and seem asleep, my mind focus's on her tiny foot. Welcoming at small affection, I try to fall back asleep. However, my mind stays awake with the thoughts of her words. I sense her views about me changing and I feel the need to pull her close. My shoulders seem lighter from her confession, and the hope she'll train with me grows from her feelings toward me. Looking into her mind with the force, I see a state of peace cover her place with me. Leaving her mind, I realize I won't be able to get any more sleep now from knowing all she thinks of me. No one has considered of me in this light since the day I took her from the Jedi Temple.
~A Week Later~
I'm storming down the hall I feeling utterly livid from the news I've heard in the past few hours. We found word of the resistance has found a part of the map that I need. I've been in a meeting with the first order for hours discussing our next move to track where this information is. Whoever has a part of the missing piece hasn't given it to the resistance yet, but we must find them before they do. The meeting went much longer than I expected, but it did nothing for my temperament. I stalk to my room, still vibrating with all the information discussed moments ago.
Opening the door, I turn to the window and begin pacing as I try to stop repeating earlier discussions with General Hux and Snoke. I hear Snips hiss at me and I turn to find Anakia waking up from her slumber. The sight of my posture and staring at her cat makes her frown, worried just before her cat snaps again at me. Glancing down at the cat in her lap, she picks her up and puts her in the cage with some type of fear growing in her mind. I turn away once the cat's put away and stare out of window again, feel the need to pace to reduce my temper. Ani' stands up and ambles over to me with a bothered expression, but I ignore it.
I haven't put the restraints on her for days now and sense a level of small trust between us from this. She's seemed to notice the act of trust the other day because her feeling towards me has been nothing but agreeable when I'm around now. Perhaps in fear of getting them back on. I still have the chain attached to by bed and not back in my cupboard, as a reminder I will still do it if she lashes out.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Ani whispers in uncertainty while reaching my side, I can hear it in her voice she doesn't like my atmosphere. I can feel her trying to tap into my mind with the force to understand, but I block her out. She's in a pale red nightgown at the moment and her hair's down in curls. The dress goes to her mid-thigh with a v shaped chest and the little straps are golden. Darting down at her, she looks away from me to her feet before asking in a sheepish voice, "Could you please take off your helmet..."
It's only then I realize I still have it on and I take it off, tossing carelessly it to my desk. Peering up at me again, she comes a little closer and brings her hand to mine. For a moment I think she's going to hold it but takes off my glove and goes to the other hand to do the same. Setting them softly on the desk, she turns back to me and watches my expression. I sense she's not enjoying my expression in the slightest, it's leaving her on edge. My eyes go back out the window making her stand right in front of me whispering, "Did something happen? Please, tell me what's wrong. You're scaring me, Ben- Kylo."
Her last words make me furious, and as if she's reading my mind, she takes a step back from dread of what I'll do next. Scowling down at her, I walk over to the foot of my bed to take off my shoes. Silence hangs over us and as I stare at my feet, I hear her little ones waddling over to me again. Just as I peer up I find her standing in front of me biting her bottom lip. She doesn't want to argue; I know she's trying to get answers out of me without starting one. Taking off my other shoe, I finally speak up without looking her way, "It's none of your concern, Anakia. Go back to bed. Now."
"No, Kylo. Look at you. I can't." Ani kneels down between my legs so I have to look at her now. Her hands rest on my knees as her eyes meet mind in trouble. I feel a sense of calmness rush over me when seeing her in the position for me. Her face shows me she's not liking how I'm using her actual name in this kind of mood. I almost sense her wanting me to call her Angel, for that will let her know I'm in a good mood. Tilting her head with a pained expression, she watches and pleads, "Can't you tell me what's wrong? I won't be able to sleep with you like this... Neither will you."
"You wouldn't understand." I growl out annoyed, if I tell her what's going on who knows how she'll react. I won't let her know Luke's alive and hiding somewhere, or that the resistance has another piece to the map of his location. It might give her hope in a direction I will not allow her to go down. I'd be okay staying in this mood if it keeps her kneeling in front of me how she is. Just her mannerisms and touch could calm me down, but her pestering to know too isn't. I watch her studying my expression and sulk a little when I say nothing more. Finally, after a moment she sighs and glance around before meeting my eyes asking to ask in a hush tone, "What can I do to help, then? Your aura is all over the place, Kylo."
I let out a long sigh before closing my eyes; I feel drained from all the information and shouting that's accrued today. I don't want to get in another yelling argument with Anakia, though she's trying to pick the fight right now. She's the only thing I've ever enjoyed, and I rather appreciate her now than anything else. I don't know what to do or say to make her be alright with my mood or feel better about my mind. I know she wants to know what's happening, but she's not ready for that conversation, or perhaps I'm not ready for her reaction to it. Not when I'm so close to getting her loyalty back as Kylo Ren. I know what will make me calm down, her affection, her care, her touch, her love. For the first time in years, I allow myself to think of myself on Yavin 4 with her.
My mind remembers her hands holding my face, petting back my hair, and even her arms around my shoulders when I'd give her a ride on my back. Her love for me back then was in her little touches. They were things she's done without needing to but had done them out of love. Anakia Kenobi has a way about herself when she's with the people she loves, it soothes everyone around her. Ever since I've met her, everything about her could calm me down and keep my mind at peace back then. I'm not sure if she ever noticed when we were kids, but I knew instantly when she came into the same area I was in. I don't know how to ask for her though, I never did when we were younger because she had genuinely loved me back then and she acted the way she did without thinking. There's not a way to ask her to just simply be herself that she'd understand.
As if she's sensing what I focus my mind on, Ani stands up and rests her hands on the side of my face to lift my head from its hanging form. I peer up at her, watching her every move in the silence. Moving me to sit up straight, Anakia leans on the bed to straddle my waist. I hear her catch her breath as she settles in my lap. Her hand goes into my hair and holds the back of my head while her other arm wraps around my shoulders. Resting her face in the crook of my neck, she left out the breath she's holding. My hand slides up her back to hold her neck as the other snakes around her waist. I pull her closer to my chest and hum in relief; I hear her sigh in my embrace as if she's feeling the anger leave my body by just her touch.
Closing my eyes, I surround my senses with the feeling of her all over me. She pushes her lower half closer to me and her thighs tighten on my hips as if she's trying to get all my frustration out. I feel it working from how my breath gets calmer and my mind forgets about the events that happened today. They're replaces with the feeling of her warmth, her smooth skin and her little frame in my arms. Lifting her head, she presses her lips down on my cheek before whispering, "Can we go to bed, now? I'll leave Snips in the cage for the night for you."
"Thank you, Angel."