Kylo Ren's P.O.V.
"Snip's is going to love these new toys."
"I still can't believe you bought more things for her than yourself, Angel."
"Hey, at least I got one thing for myself that I wanted." Anakia points out while waving the biggest bag in her hands, "I considered that progress."
I watch her set them down on the counter before kicking off her heels and stretching. Setting a few more bags on the floor beside the kitchen counter with the rest of her bags, I take off my jacket. We just came back to the hotel after eating at a restaurant nearby. Anakia seemed to enjoy the food and the view from our table. She bought plenty of toys and a bed for Snips to have, along with getting the armor of her people. I made her buy a few necklaces, but she seemed rather annoyed by it since they were more my style than hers. Over all, I found she appreciated the day with me in downtown Canto Bight. By the way she's sauntering toward me with a nonchalant posture, I sense she found small pleasure buying things for her and her cat.
"We should go to sleep soon..." I speak up innocently while setting my jacket on the counter beside her bags, "We'll be leaving early tomorrow to arrive at base around noon."
"Why don't we stay longer..." She murmurs, a little disappointed at my words. Standing in front of me, she plays with the end of my shirt, suggesting, "They don't need us back that soon, do they?"
"Unfortunately, they need me." I lightly argue while raising my hand to pull her hair out of her bun. Letting her hair fall around her shoulders, I comb back her hair with my fingers examining her curiously, "There's nothing much to do here anyway that we haven't already done in the past two days."
"Yeah... I just..." Ani mutters out in a sad tone before glancing down to the ground confessing, "When we get back I'll just be waiting for you to come back... Like I always do." Sighing and dropping her hands from my shirt she goes on, "Here, I've had more... Freedom, with you."
I watch her turn away from me and head toward the bedroom as if there's nothing more to be said on the topic. Glancing to her bag with Mandalor armor, I bite the inside of my cheek before following behind her. I want to bring up my original offer I made her years ago but don't know if it's the right time. Yet, if it's freedom she's wanting, that's the only way to have it. I stroll toward the bedroom until I'm at the threshold. Leaning in the doorway, I watch her head into the bathroom. Folding my arm with my mind, thinking over what to say next, I observe her come back out of the bathroom in her nightgown. She's in a black nightgown tonight with matching black beads for straps. Noticing me watching her from the doorway, Anakia raises an eyebrow and jokes playfully with our last conversation out of mind, "If you're waiting for me to call you Mr. Ren like I did last night you 're going to be waiting awhile."
"You could have more freedom, you know." I blurt out, ignoring her statement. My words make her stop uncovering the bed and stand up straight to look at me. She's staring at me strangely as if I'm testing her and I speak out what's on my mind, "If you became an apprentice of Snoke's-"
"Kylo." She interrupts me in warning of bringing up this conversation with her again. Pushing myself off the doorway, I shuffle toward her, interjecting my reasonings, "If you did you could walk around on base as you please, go on missions... You'd become more powerful than you ever been."
"I would be trading my loyalty to what I believe in for freedom." Anakia announces while watching me cautiously, coming closer to her. She faces back to the sheets to continue to unmake the bed and I grab her hand gently to stop her. Her face turns to me and I point out in resentment of her conflict, "Loyalty to what, Anakia? To Luke and the Jedi principles? To Leia or Han?... Come one, Ani." I utter in pity at what I'm recognizing what still has a hold on her, "The past is deceiving you."
Anakia pulls her wrist out of my hand and walks around the bed without saying a word. I sense that's the exact reason for not joining. Her anger grows and I see with my eyes she's trying to end the topic because it might reopen her wounds of the past. She's trying to put distance between us by using the bed, but I won't stand for this when I know I'm getting closer to my goal. This conversation feels different from it did before. She's not lashing out as she once did, she's not fighting so hard on it because she knows I have a point. I can tell she's losing the fight within her, but still holding on because of the past. A past I've been trying to kill for the both of us. Keeping my eyes glued on her, I speak up with the hard truth she's been ignoring.
"Anakia, if you really have their loyalty, why haven't they come for you? Haven't you noticed? Leia and Han didn't try getting you back once in the past two years. Luke went into exile and didn't bother to search for you. If they had any loyalty to you... You and I would have seen by now. The past you 're trying to go back to doesn't exist anymore, they're not coming for you."
"They... They could have thought you killed me." She mutters, and I can see her getting overwhelmed by my accusations. Glancing around the room, she tries to think of reasoning to my words, "They might have thought-"
"They would've seen your body, Ani." I try to make her understand in the most genuine way possible, "They know you're alive and they aren't coming for you." I announce as if it's set in stone; she turns her back to me and I don't have to look at her to know she's trying not to cry. My hands form into fists in annoyance that she's not accepting her reality still. Standing in place, I claim what we both know to be true. "I'm all you have left now! I trusted you, cared for you, look out of you every moment of my life! Why is that not enough for your loyalty?! Yet, you still sit around, hoping people who've forgotten about you will do what I've done since we've met-"
"That doesn't justify joining Snoke's Knights of Ren, Kylo! I don't trust him!" She spits out in resentment that I'm still talking about this so freely to her now. Waving her hands around the room and twirling to face me again, Anakia lets out not knowing what to do to end the conversation, "I do trust you... but that's not enough of a reason for me to give my loyalty blindly to this Snoke-"
"I'll train you then myself."
"W-What?" Anakia whispers as if all the rage left her body immediately; her hands drop to her sides as she stares at me in utter shock. Walking around the bed, realizing what I must do, I come to her side and sit on the bed in front of her. Saying my last words out loud made me comprehend I could have her full loyalty still. Snoke and the First Order might not get it soon or ever for that matter; but I could have it. Taking her waist by my hands, I stare up at her and insist on what I should have from the start. "I can train you, Anakia. You wouldn't have to devote your loyalty or trust to anyone but me."
"... But," Ani shakes her head slowly in confusion and her voice staying in a hushed manner, "I thought Snoke wanted me-"
"He aspires for your loyalty to him, but he and the First Order know. You belong to me, alone." I voice, assuring her she has no obligation to either of them, only me. Drawing her waist closer to my sitting posture I encourage with hope in my tone, "I'm do to what I please with you... And that includes if I want to train you on my own for my benefit. You'll be equal to anyone else in the First Order because your loyalty would be to me. It would give you freedom."
"I... I..." Anakia blurts out muddled, her expression seem torn apart from my reasoning as she thinks out loud, "I would help them because of doing so though."
"You would help me, Ani." I defend honestly and drag her down to my lap. She sits on my legs with hers on either side of me; she looks conflicted of what she'd be agreeing to if she allows me to train her. Petting back her hair, I profess like it's no secret with my eyes trailing her face. "I've given you my loyalty, Ani. You've always had it. If you trust me like you say you do, give me yours. I could give you so much more if you gave me yours in return." Holding her cheeks, I make her look into my eyes and whisper in remorse, "Stop waiting for other people to give you what've been offering you."
"It's difficult for me, Kylo..." Her face turns into a shade of red as her mind becomes consumed by who they used to be. "I owe so much to them. Leia gave me love, Han showed me joy, Luke taught me wisdom... I'm who I am because of them and I don't want to let that go... even if they might never come for me."
"Haven't I shown you all those things as well?" I blurt out without thinking, feeling hurt that my deeds have gone unnoticed by her. "I've done more than they've done for you at this point." I murmur out, feeling weakened from her unconditional love towards my family. Sliding my hand down to her chin to hold, I point out the difference between me and my family. "I came back for you, Anakia. They didn't." I watch tears form and fall down her cheeks, and knew she accepted that what she lost she won't be able to get back now. I sense her understanding she's lost bonds to people she loved and she can't get it back now. I was once at fault for it, but now she knows it's everyone's blame. I can tell it's harder for her to believe it; it's easier to put all the blame on me but I've made up for it since then. Wiping her tears from her cheeks, I speak up again sensing I'm so close to have her completely, "You're more than what they made you be. Let me show you what you can become through me. Please, Anakia. No one will ever need you the way I do."
"You... Need me?" Anakia lets out a breath; I sense it's never accrued to her that anyone needed her. All I do is nod and kiss her gently, causing her to sigh from my affection. Wrapping my arm around her waist and pulling her to rest her chest on mine. Nipping at her bottom lip I confess as if it's always been true, "We started this together 12 years ago. I can't do this without you; you're my Angel, Anakia. I need you to put your faith in me alone now, we're all we have."
"O- Okay, I- I'm trusting you... Ben." She gives into me and holds my gaze with no emotions held back. "You have me."
With that said, I glance down at her wrists covered with gold lining around them. Bringing my hand beside them, I peer up to Anakia for a moment before looking back down at them. I wave my hands over her wrist and by using the force, the gold bands slip off her wrists and fall into our lap. They harden into bracelets again and I can sense Anakia's force with the light side flood into her hands. They're practically vibrating from not having the energy in her veins for so long. I watch her lips curl up in admiration toward me, and I can't help but crack a small smile of my own. Wrapping her arms around my neck, Anakia presses her lips down on mine in excitement. I lean back a little in surprise at her forwardness before tilting my head forward with the same enthusiasm.
My hand sprawls on her back as the other goes to grips the fabric around her waist. She scoots closer to me, causing me to slip back slightly as her hand runs through my hair. I feel her lips part for me, and I take the invitation immediately. Sliding my tongue against hers, I let out a groan while she leans further toward me. She lets out a content sigh and I bring my hand up to the nap of her neck to hold her against me firmly. It's only after a moment I realized she's been bending me back until my backs laying on the bed and she's on above me. Her chest lays flat on top of mine like she's melting around me and I move a leg up between hers to have her nestled better around my waist. I hear her moan softly from my action and I long to hear it again, louder.
She pushes my hair back and pulls back an inch to find my eyes. With her eyes on me and observing me affectionately, I sense her force surrounding me. It's rich with comfort, love and sincerity for me; I haven't felt her this way for almost two-and-a-half years. I feel as if we're back in my hut on Yavin 4, talking about the day we spent together. Her expression to me reveals all I need to know; she's seeing me as Ben Solo again. I recognize then that she didn't give me her loyalty or trust just now. She gave it all to the small part of me that's still Ben for her. My expression breaks into a sorrow one as I admire her from above because I know I could've had her for those two-and-a-half years if I just stayed as the Ben she loves.