Warnings for this chapter includes: child abuse, emotional abuse, injury, magical violence, and more injuries.

Chapter 5: Anger and Compassion

Having finished breakfast, Mono was ready to go to class. Unlike any other day, the boy was by himself. Tria was sick, so she wouldn't be joining him in class or for chores. It saddened Mono but he hoped she would get well soon. Her health was more important than his desire for company. Plus, after chores, he could visit her and wish her well. There was always that to look forward to!

Smiling, the boy happily made his way towards the exit of the cafeteria. Luckily, Quint and his friends weren't around. They weren't in class earlier either. It could be possible that they were skipping class. It did happen once in a while. At the doorway, Mono stopped. There was a woman speaking with the Director at the entrance of the Orphanage. She was very frail-looking; her long dark brown hair was thinning and her pale skin had an unhealthy dullness to it. Her eyes looked tired. Curiosity filled the boy. Her eyes looked much like his own - dark brown that could easily be mistaken for black.

As if in a trance, Mono followed the two adults up the stairs. However, instead of turning left to go to class, the boy made a right to a hallway with many doors. They were most likely going to the office, but Mono had only been there once. Wandering around the hallway, he got lost, but eventually found the Director's office again. The door wasn't shut and he could hear sobbing on the other side. While it was bad to eavesdrop, Mono couldn't help himself. He wanted to know who this mysterious woman was. Taking a peek, he could see that the woman was crying, her hands covering her face.

"I missed him, I missed him so much!" She wailed very loudly.

Missed him? Was she referring to Mono? The boy became hopeful. Was this woman his mother? Had she decided to come back for him? Did she miss him so much that she looked like that? He felt sad for her. He wanted to rush in and hug her, telling her that she could be happy. Maybe he should surprise her!

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Prim." The Director sighed, offering a hand for comfort.

"Anyway, where is Mono?" Prim asked.

After hearing his name, the boy became more ecstatic. So this woman was his mother! He was so happy and bursting with joy that he didn't catch the bitterness in the woman's tone.

"Ah, about that. He should-" the man didn't get to complete his response before the door swung open fully.

"Mother!" Mono cried, wrapping his little arms around the woman's legs. "Please, take me with you!"

The woman knelt down to stare at her child. She placed her large hand on the boy's cheek. Mono smiled, enjoying the intimate touch.

SMACK!

Suddenly, the boy was flung against the wall. The back of his head ached with pain and his cheek was burning hot. Confused, Mono touched the side of his face where he'd been slapped before looking up to face his mother. The woman was... glaring at him. Her eyes had hatred in them. Why? Why was she looking at him like that? Didn't she miss him?

"I hate you! You ruined everything! Because of you, my daughter died and my husband left me! And now, you think you can return home?" his mother yelled at him, her shadow looming over his small body.

His shoulders were shaking as tears fell from his widened eyes. Hurt. It hurts. Those words hurt. Why is Mother...why is she saying such hurtful things?

"In case you don't understand with that tiny head of yours, I shall make it clear to you: I don't want you! I never did!"

Just four words. Four simple words and yet, they stung so badly in his chest. Glancing over to the Director, Mono could see it - the look on his face. He was cold. His eyes were cold and he was... smiling. The younger children were right. The Director was a cruel person. He looked so kind and friendly, but deep down... he was a monster. Unable to look at that sneering face, the boy turned his gaze downwards. Whimpering from the disastrous sight before him, Mono got up before bolting out of the office. Crying, he didn't notice that someone had eavesdropped during the entire interaction. They were shaking with anger as their fingers curled up into fists.

Running down to his room, Mono curled up in a corner, sobbing. His room reflected how he felt. Empty. There wasn't much in his room aside from the basic necessities and his small possessions, but everything about it was empty. The walls were a gloomy dull color, it was cold, and nothing in the large space stood out. There was only a square-shaped window in the middle of the outer wall, but there were only gray skies and leafless trees to look at. As he continued to cry, the boy could hear the door creaking open before someone closed it. He didn't care who it was. He just wished he could disappear.

Feeling a pair of arms wrapping themselves around his body, Mono's breath hitched as he held back his tears. He knew who it was.

"I'm sorry about that, Mono," Tria spoke gently.

So she knew. She'd been there. Mono felt relieved. He wouldn't have to explain to her what had happened.

Turning around, he hugged her tightly. As he spoke, his breathing started to escalate, "Why? Why did they - hic - leave me? What did I - hic - do wrong? W-Was it because - hic - I'm not a g-good kid? Was that why they - hic - left me? A-Am I a m-mistake?"

"Bzz-bzz!" Tria made an incorrect button noise before gently flicking his forehead. After, she gently stroked the area where the boy was hit, both to soothe the pain and so that his eyes met with hers. "Wrong! You are not a mistake, Mono. Don't ever think like that!"

"But Mother-"

"She's not your mother. Mothers don't say terrible things to their child. She gave up her rights as one the moment she left you," Tria explained, anger in her tone. Softening her expression upon seeing the distraught boy, she started to rub circles around his back. Her voice became more motherly, "There, there. Don't try to hold back tears, Mono. I won't judge you for your weakness."

Feeling assurance, the boy resumed crying as he was being picked up in the girl's arm. Carrying him to his bed, Tria continued to rub circles on his back until Mono calmed down. Tired from the crying, the boy felt his eyelids getting heavier. Being tucked into bed, Mono stared at the ceiling. He shouldn't be in bed though. He was supposed to go to class and do his chores. And yet, his body didn't feel like moving. Turning his head, Mono could see Tria about to leave the room.

"Tria?" He hiccuped as she stopped, "Class? Chores?"

"Don't worry about those, Mono," the girl assured as she backed away from the door and patted his head. The way she softly patted him made Mono feel even more tired. "Focus on sleeping. You need it."

After making sure the boy had fallen asleep, Tria quietly left the room. She was going to have a talk with the Director.

~oOo~

Mono hadn't seen Tria for a few days. She didn't come to see him in the morning for breakfast and wouldn't answer the door when he knocked for story reading. Was she avoiding him? Had he done something to upset her? These days without the girl's presence were miserable. Quint had resumed bullying him, having learned that Tria wasn't going to be by the child's side. Somehow, someway, rumors had spread about the incident with his mother. Those rumors had reached Quint's ears. During lunch, the teenager had dragged Mono out of the cafeteria to the main hall. Despite it being futile struggling against a stronger child, the younger boy tried to wrench his arm from Quint's grasp.

Everyone just watched, not intervening. Observing for entertainment or debating to lend help only to do nothing. After pushing the young boy against the wall, Quint's gang of bullies began to hurl insults. Truths, but insults. They also yelled loudly for everyone else to hear. Sinking to the floor, Mono began to plug his ears despite how useless it was. He could still hear them. Even when he looked at the adults, they were whispering to one another. He couldn't hear them, but their lips moved to make a remark. The words seem to form the sentence: "His parents didn't want him, so he's been dropped at our doorsteps."

"Aw, poor lonely Mono! I would understand if your parents died, but no! They chose to abandon you! How sad!"

"Hey, hey! Did you hear? Apparently, the boy's parents had desired a girl, not a boy. He was such a disappointment from the moment he was born!"

Chuckling, Quint taunted with his arms around his buddies, "We will be adopted for sure, everyone will but Mono. We will belong somewhere, he won't."

Hahahaha!

Laughter rang around him as Mono felt something within himself snapping. Forcing his gaze on the floor, the boy shut his eyes. Their words were suffocating. He felt himself suffocating. Shut up... Shut up, shut up, shut up!

The glass was being strained, cracking more and more. No one noticed or could hear from all the laughter ringing obnoxiously. Anger was boiling inside Mono like a kettle - so much that it was releasing steam, hissing and whistling very loudly. Something was stirring. He wasn't wanted? What about them? Who would want them?! If he was unwanted - if he couldn't have a bright future... they should be denied a bright future as well. If the world hated him so badly...well, he would like to give back that hatred.

CLASH!

Without warning, all the windows in the main hall shattered; glass shards flew into the air as they rained down on everyone. Orphans and adults all screamed in panic as they ran for cover or tried to shield themselves. Hearing many cries of fear snapped Mono out of his negative headspace and he looked up, his hands leaving his ears. A lot of orphans had red lines and cuts on their exposed skin. Did he... did he do that? If so, he didn't mean it! Intentionally or not, he didn't want that! He didn't want to hurt anyone, but he just felt so angry and frustrated!

Quint, who was the most affected by the raining glass, pointed an accusing finger at Mono, "You did this!"

The little boy just shook his head frantically in response. Unable to find his voice to speak, his eyes were desperately trying to say, I didn't mean it!

"What is going on?!" a booming voice shouted.

Seeing the Director caused Mono's heart to sink. Ever since Mono had seen the man - no, monster - for what he truly was, the Director's attitude towards the boy changed. Almost as though he'd ripped off an invisible mask and his true face was revealed. Mono had tried to avoid the monster whenever he could as much as he tried to avoid the bullies. Why did he have to come now?!

Catching an opportunity, Quint whined, "Mono attacked us, Director! Look at my injuries!"

After the monster had been shown Quint's wounds, the Director finally turned his sight onto Mono. His icy eyes were glaring at him with a hint of malicious intent. The boy knew he couldn't argue. How could he explain when he was the only one untouched by the shattered glass? But had he really done it? He'd just been angry and the windows had cracked. That was it!

"Well, young man, I believe punishment is required," the Director finally spoke.

Mono looked down, defeated. He could feel Quint taunting him despite that he wasn't looking at the older boy.

~oOo~

It was nighttime at the Orphanage. Rubbing his bruised arms from the cold, Mono was sitting alone by himself. His punishment was to stay outside until morning. It was cold and the wind howled harshly. Shuddering, Mono pulled his knees closer to his chest, trying to stay warm. For the fall season, it was probably unwise to sit on top of the roof, but the boy didn't want to sit on the ground where Quint and the other orphans would point and look down on him. The worst part of this punishment was that he was all alone. That feeling was worse than the cold and the pain he was feeling in his back.

I hate this. I hate everything... I hate myself...

Someone had draped a blanket over his shoulders, snapping the boy out of his negative thoughts. Looking up, he could see a smiling Tria.

"It's a chilly night, Mono. You should keep warm," she replied, sitting down next to him.

"Tria..." the boy trailed off, not expecting to see her. "I-I haven't seen you for so long..."

"Ah, I'm very sorry, Mono. I wasn't trying to avoid you. The Director had held me back, forbidding me from interacting with you as punishment. It was supposed to be a week, but because I was on good behavior, I got out in just five days."

Punishment? The boy wondered what Tria could've done to deserve punishment. She was very much a well-behaved child. However, learning that the girl was punished to not interact with him caused the boy to wonder... Was it his fault? Was Mono at fault? Mono. The boy frowned at his own name. Friendless Mono, lonely Mono, weakling... Why was he given the name 'Mono' in the first place? If he was such a disappointment before birth, why even bother with giving him a name? Could it have been out of spite?

"I hate my name," he muttered.

Frowning, Tria probed, "Why?"

"Because 'Mono' means one or alone. I think she named me because she didn't want me. I hate it - being alone," Mono explained. "I wish I had your name instead."

"Why?"

"You know why," the boy replied somberly. It means three... it's a perfect number...

As if understanding his train of thoughts, Tria sighed, "Do you really think being named after the number one is a bad thing? Personally, I think you have a wonderful name."

Confused, it was his turn to ask the question, "Why?"

Smiling at his undivided attention, the girl's eyes gleamed as an impish smile formed on her face. "Mono, do you know what the leaves of a three-leafed clover represent?" Of course, she knew that he didn't know, but waited until he shook his head, "Well, the first means hope, the second is faith, and the third is love. However, just one more leaf and you'll get luck. One number - that's it! I think meeting you brought me luck, Mono!"

The boy just stared dumbfounded at the older girl. Just one extra leaf brought luck? Mono felt confusion washing over him. Should he be happy to know about this? While pondering, he didn't notice his surroundings getting a little brighter. Of course, the change didn't go unnoticed by Tria.

She started to shake the boy excitedly before pointing at the sky, "Look! Look, Mono! The moon is out!"

Looking up, Mono could see the full moon glowing very brightly. He had seen the white orb before - multiple times, but something about this viewing felt different, more special. Maybe it was because he was looking at it with someone by his side. Whatever the reason was, he was dazzled by it.

"Wow..." he whispered in awe.

Smiling, Tria giggled, "You want to know another reason why I think your name is wonderful, Mono? The moon is spelled M-O-O-N. If you rearrange two letters of your name, M-O-N-O, you get moon! That's why I like your name!"

At the news, the boy's eyes widened even more, becoming starry and full of wonder. Like. Someone liked his name? Mono doubted there were any other kids who had his name... So he was liked? Feeling his cheeks burning, the boy turned his gaze downwards. Giggling at his expression, Tria scooted closer to the child before wrapping her shawl around them both. Mono didn't understand why she did that. She'd already given him a blanket. Her shawl was very thin and in her nightgown, it was most likely too chilly for her to stay outside.

"Tria? Won't you get a cold?" Mono asked in concern.

The girl hummed before coughing a bit, "Nope. I'm more happy if you don't get a cold."

"But you're ill!"

"And you're young," she argued. Unable to find another excuse, the boy pouted in defeat. Laughing, she told him, "I love you, Mono."

The word 'love' rang in his head. Had he heard that correctly? He replayed her words over and over again in his head until he couldn't anymore. A smile grew on his face. He'd always known he loved Tria, but he'd never known if she felt the same. Hearing a confirmation made him happy. It felt as though the pain in his heart was getting lighter and lighter.

"I love you too, Tria."

Smiling, the girl went to give a gentle pat to his back. However, when she tried, Mono immediately yelped, surprising the girl as she quickly retracted her hand. Silence rolled in as tension started to build. Immediately, Tria frowned as her eyes narrowed in suspicion. She had heard that Mono was sent outside for punishment, but was there more to it?

The Director wouldn't, would he?

Keeping herself calm, she inquired, "Mono, did the Director..." She thought of her next words carefully, "Do something else?"

The boy shook his head, "No."

Pausing, the girl sighed. If it wasn't the Director, she could think of one other person who might have a reason to hurt Mono. So she made a guess, "Was it Quint?"

Silence. Tria knew she was right. From the boy's silence, she understood he didn't want to talk about it. That was fine. She didn't want to force the child to say something that would upset him. If he wanted to tell her, it would be his choice to decide. Ignoring the boy's punishment, the girl tried to take him back to her room. Mono had protested, not wanting someone to learn that he didn't complete his punishment. Of course, he didn't want to complete it either, but he didn't want the Director to know and pile on more.

Despite that it wasn't shown on her face, Tria was fuming on the inside. And while she prided herself on being a calm and collected person, she felt the need to curse at something. So she mentally did. Screw the two of those bastards!

It was decided. She was going to escape this Orphanage and bring Mono with her. The girl had been thinking about it for a while ever since learning that the adults wouldn't do anything about the bullying. There was no need to stay in a dark, gloomy environment. However, she needed time to prepare and with winter approaching eventually, it wouldn't be a good time to escape yet. She didn't want to tell the boy of her plans yet either. Many things could go wrong. Once Tria felt sure of herself and that her plan would work, she would tell him. For now, she needed to check on the child's injuries.

~oOo~

At some point, Mono had given up trying to protest against Tria's insistence as they entered her room through the window. It brought the twelve-year-old girl some ease as she lit a few candles with a box of matches. She couldn't risk turning on the lights without alerting anyone, so the candles' dim lights would have to make do. Getting out the medical supplies, the older girl turned towards the boy. He was sitting on her bed, the blanket and her shawl thrown to the side, fidgeting.

Sighing, she questioned, "How bad is it?"

"It's not that bad..." he spoke quietly.

Tria sighed again at the boy's way of minimizing the damage. From what she had heard from the orphans, Mono never really paid much attention to his injuries. Granted, the other children never told the boy that he should treat his wounds until they grew worse. On the contrary, it was possible he wouldn't be able to treat the injuries on his back.

"Would it be okay... if you took off your shirt?" she inquired.

Wordlessly, turning around so his back was facing towards her, Mono slowly took off his shirt. Upon seeing the injuries, the girl's eyes narrowed. Because Mono's pajamas were dark, it was impossible to tell the difference if he was injured or not. Gripping the medical supplies tightly, Tria shook in anger at the many red lines on the boy's pale back. Physical wounds could heal and if she worked on fixing them, perhaps there wouldn't be any scars to remind the boy, but what really concerned her was the boy's mental state.

Calming herself from the anger, she finally spoke, "Mono, be truthful with me. How did this happen?"

"... After the windows shattered, the Director told Quint to teach a lesson on how the weak should be treated."

"And?"

"Because Quint got cut from the glass, he said I should get the same. But I didn't-" Mono paused, uncertain what to say. "I-I... I didn't want that to happen... I don't know how the windows all shattered..."

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Tria assured the boy, "That's enough, Mono. You don't have to say anymore. Whatever happened, it must have been an accident."

"But what if I did that?"

"There's no proof that you broke all those windows. Maybe the Transmission in the air caused them to shatter and you were just safe from the glass," she suggested.

Mono frowned. It was true. Despite the Orphanage being far from the city, that didn't mean the Transmission couldn't reach them. However, he found himself not fully accepting Tria's flawed theory either. When he had felt angry, something was stirring in his heart. It didn't just happen on the inside but the outside as well. He'd almost been able to sense the hatred in the Transmission and it felt... like it was his. Almost like the Transmission was welcoming his dark wish and acted accordingly.

Why him? There were so many other orphans who were angry - more so than him. So why would the Transmission seem to resonate with what his heart wanted? Was it because he so deeply and darkly wished for it to happen? It scared him. His thoughts scared him. He felt responsible. He was glad his back was facing Tria because he wasn't sure if he wanted her to see him like this. Would Tria stop loving him if he told her how he'd felt during that? He decided to take the risk.

"Tria?"

"Yes?"

"You said hatred would hurt me..." He started off slowly, recalling their first storytelling. "What if... what if because of my deep and dark wish for them to suffer, I did that? What if I'm no different from Quint or the Director? Causing pain because I was angry and resentful?"

He could feel her hand gently ruffling his hair as she quietly spoke, "Those who are angry and hateful are usually the ones who are hurting on the inside. Everyone is different, Mono. And everyone has their own ways of hurting and expressing it."

"But you said that I shouldn't hate because it would hurt me."

"Only if it's towards those you care about," Tria elaborated. "If it's towards those you care for or those who were uninvolved, it wouldn't be fair for them. But for people who don't have remorse, like Quint or the Director, the hatred is justified. And you, Mono, are hurting. You're not like Quint or the Director, who only want to feel high and mighty with power. Even if you somehow caused the windows to shatter, do you feel happy about it?"

"No! I-I would never!"

"Then you have nothing to worry about." The girl smiled as she unscrewed a bottle of antiseptic. "I'm not saying you don't have to hate or get angry. Far from it. It's natural for anyone to dislike something or get mad. Keeping things inside would only hurt more. I just don't want you to misdirect it. Because from misdirected anger and hatred, knowing that you hurt someone deeply would only hurt you."

"But I did hurt people. There were other orphans who got cuts, not just Quint," Mono pointed out sulkily.

"You feel regret, that's all that matters. That dark wish - that accident, it doesn't define you, Mono. If you feel that you did something unforgivable, then I'll tell you right now: I forgive you." Pouring some of the antiseptic onto a piece of cloth, she gave a warning, "This will hurt and it will feel like it's burning, but it will help you heal. Um, try not to scream."

Mono gave a nod as he gripped tightly onto the bed sheets. Tria wasn't wrong as she brought the cloth close to his wounds. It did hurt. The cuts on his back became agitated as the bacteria reacted to the antiseptic. She dabbed quickly over the wounds as Mono had to cover his mouth to heed her warning. Once she felt satisfied with the cleaned wounds, she pulled the bloodied cloth away and worked on bandaging the boy's back. She had to wrap tightly so the pain would numb over if Mono were to sleep on his back. After a few minutes, declaring that she was finished, Mono let out a sigh.

"Thanks, Tria."

"You're welcome. For being a good boy," she leaned and gave him a peck on the forehead.

Startled, Mono turned to finally look at her, "What was that you just did?"

"You mean the kiss?"

"Was that what that was?" the six-year-old questioned. After getting a nod, he asked, "What is a kiss?"

"A kiss is a way to show how much you love someone. Just like how love has different meanings and ways to express it, the same applies to kissing," Tria explained. Her expression became stern, "However, you can only kiss people you love, friends or family. It wouldn't make sense to kiss a stranger or someone you don't really know."

Mono nodded his head eagerly. Immediately, he turned his head to the window they came through. Tria could already tell that the boy was contemplating on finishing his punishment. Sighing, she went to the closet and opened the doors. Searching for specific pieces of clothing, she gave him a fresh shirt and a coat. The boy wordlessly put on the shirt. It was a little big on him but it would have to do. When he picked up the trench coat, he examined it. It was an olive color with three buttons. Right now, it didn't fit him but it was very cozy as he snuggled against the fabric. Taking in the scent, he could smell fresh pine. He looked at Tria curiously. He could understand the shirt, but why give him a coat?

"Do you want it back?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "That's for you to keep."

Smiling, he jumped off the bed and rushed to hug her. Welcoming him into her arms, the older girl picked the six-year-old up as she felt his tiny arms wrap around her shoulders. Taking the blanket and her shawl with her, she carried the boy back out the window. Since the boy was insisting on finishing his undeserved punishment, they'd finish it together.