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TWO
Ci-Ci-Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM!
— Cain's Heroes Theme
Imagine my surprise when we were all released from our holding cells for no other reason but that this "Justice League" demands our presence. Why bother though? Surely they realize that we would not willingly surrender sensitive information. Even if we did, the Justice League is hopelessly outmatched against the Imperium. Then again, considering the fact that I'm still alive, and being treated extraordinarily well for a prisoner, I can't say that I can complain.
Nonetheless, they insist upon our presence. Thus I found myself, along with Amberley and Jurgen, under heavy guard and led towards a "interview" room, as they call it. They can't honestly believe we'd accept, let alone willingly, join them*22! Even if they had anything "nefarious" planned to force our compliance, it'll probably be inconsequential compared to anything the Inquisition would do to us!
'Right this way kiddos!' A hero said, annoyingly cheerful behind black tinted goggles. He makes me rather uncomfortable, especially that sleazy smile, which didn't help his appearance. His mannerisms are that of a rogue, a conman*23. They must be really desperate if they're recruiting so disreputable and unreliable a man. 'Please, for the last time, do not treat us as juves. We are soldiers.'
'Sure, sure, whatever you say pal!' The man said, completely ignoring us, much to my chagrin. Bloody hooligan. We reached our destination, and were led inside. The chamber was massive, but void of any luxuries I've come to know from planetary nobility. It was rather utilitarian really, very dull, very bland. Sitting behind their extensive arms of the "U" shaped table must be the Justice League's leadership, some of whom I've been already introduced.
'I know that things have been tense between us.' Superman began, an easygoing smile on his face. 'But I think we can mend that gap. We would like to extend an offer to you three.'
What. The. Ever. Living. Frak?!
'It is rather unorthodox on our end as well.' Aquaman admitted. 'However, we believe you three have the potential to become something greater than just soldiers.'
'Elaborate, please.' Amberley said, cocking an eyebrow. I agreed with her, unable to help but wonder what they mean by that as well. Even if I didn't, I would still support her. At the very least, we'd put up a united front.
'Our world could always use more heroes.' Wonder Woman said, a smile on her face. 'As of now, there are few heroes but many supervillains, some of whom are free and are in hiding. We would like you to join us. Become a hero, as an associate of the Justice League. Help us fight this evil and protect this world.'
Fat chance we would! That's all your problem. If this world is struggling with something as insignificant as a judicial complication, then I see no reason to intervene. In fact, when the Imperium arrives to reintegrate this world, I'm sure I could exaggerate the situation and convince the munitorum that the 597th is needed to keep the peace. A win-win in my book.
Well, at least, that's what I wanted to say. Amberley, however, had other ideas as I've come to later realize. 'Really?' She said, though it sounded more like an unamused drawl. 'You wish, for three loyal warriors of the Emperor, to declare loyalty to a Planetary Defence Force made up of, and correct me if I'm wrong, mutants, xenos, xenos-lovers, and witches. You must be joking.'
'I agree with the Inquisitor.' I added, trying to sound insulted as well as putting up a united front with Amberley. At the very least, we'll be seeing one another long term this time. At the very worst, this will be the last we see one another. 'Furthermore, your Justice League seems to serve primarily as an Arbites organization, rather than an actual military organization.' At least, if my conversations with Black Canary were the truth, then I'm correct in my assumptions. 'I fail to see how useful we will be. We're soldiers, not keepers of the peace.'
'I'm sure you had taken part of peacekeeping operations.' The Green Lantern II said, a knowing look on his face. I had no idea why he would give me such a look. Justice is the job of the arbites, war is my profession. So, I stayed silent, though it must have been the wrong choice, now seeing victorious grins on his colleagues face, and an even bigger one on his.
'What about you?' Superman asked, looking back at us. I'm sorry, did we not answer you? I had thought his mind was warped into utter stupidity from his association with the aliens.
'Commissar?' Jurgen asked, confused, forcing me to eye him and back on the xenos. It was only then I realized that he was addressing my faithful and malodorous aide, and Jurgen was looking to me for orders. I nodded. 'Permission to speak.' He then turned to Amberley, who kindly smiled and nodded.
'Whatever the Commissar and the Inquisitor say, I will believe.' Jurgen stated firmly, as characteristic of his unimaginable mind, something I'm forever grateful for. The leadership gave one another a look. It was as if they were almost communicating by line-of-sight. Perhaps they have a functioning comm-bead*25? Just from the fact that a "primitive" society could make such efficient comm-bead, I'm certain this may cause the Cogboys to oil themselves.
'Remove the Commissar and Inquisitor.' The Batman said, as if our lack of presence would change Jurgen's answer. Nonetheless, I'm sure they would realize their mistake shortly. In the mean time, this allowed Amberley and I to converse with one another. Now, that isn't to say we weren't under guard, but I highly doubt they could speak in High Gothic!
'What do you think?' I asked her. To be honest, I'd rather stay in prison. Though, I suppose the big disadvantage would be the lack of exercise, constant boredom, and eventual insanity that comes with it. If we accept the deal, it'll keep us active, but my palms were tingling. Unconsciously, I thumbed it, not that it helped though.
'I think we should accept.' Amberley admitted, staring into my eyes. 'It'll get us out of here with a little bit of freedom to move around. At least, as much as they will permit us. Still, that would be enough for us to work with.'
'I don't know.' I replied, shaking my head. I honestly don't know 'I have a bad feeling about this.' She bit her lips and nodded. 'So do I, Ciaphas.'
It didn't take as long, as I predicted, before they allowed us back into the interview room. I felt a rather depressed mood emanate throughout the room. 'What did you say to them?'
'Nothing that isn't true Commissar*26.' Jurgen replied, though I could sense his bemusement. I happen to be in agreement, seeing shocked glances upon all of us. To be honest, I was quite willing to thrash them all just to break them out of their stupor. Fortunately the moment, of course, was broken by Batman. 'If we can get back to the matter at hand?' He rhetorically asked, taking only a glance to bring their attention back at the matter at hand.
'Nonetheless, it is our opinion that you join the Justice League.' He pressed. 'You will be under our supervision during your tenure as Justice League associates. If you choose not to join us, then you will be kept imprisoned until further notice.' I would have believed that obvious, though I suppose he's saying it more for Jurgen's benefit than ours. Still, despite my own bias, establishing a united front with Amberley is still within my best interests. That is not to say that Amberley is completely right*27, of course. Amberley turns to me and nods, and I looked to my faithful aide, Jurgen. 'Whatever you say Commissar, I'll follow you sir.'
'Very well then.' I said, trying not to strain my smile. 'I believe that we are in agreement. We will join your PDF as associates. For the betterment of mankind.' Oh, I really hope Amberley knows what she's doing. At least I won't be working with the leadership for long, and with any luck, there might be someone in the PDF that I can stand.
I was wrong, I was very, very wrong. The Justice League isn't like any proper Planetary Defence Force I've ever seen! Instead of the vast armies I would come to expect, these costumed menaces patrol their own city they just happen to be in. All by themselves! Sure, they may work with the local Arbites, and I say that very loosely mind you, but they lack any proper logistical or support network. In fact, they happen to be completely independent of the militaries of the world. Yes, militaries. A divided planet with so many different religions, cultures, petty disagreements, and idiots everywhere. What an awful place to live in!
The city we were tasked in protecting is rather unassuming for a civilized city called "Winter Flats." Real imaginative, I'm certain, but I digress. It is quite easy to navigate through, if I don't say so myself. The less about the people, the more I can sleep at night. They are just about the most obnoxious and dullest I've ever met. I just can't put my finger as to why they annoy me, but they severely do, the blatant hero-bothering and overreaction to just about anything aside, of course. Fortunately, our current residence was much more acceptable in comparison. According to Batman, it was an old, disused, and forgotten Cold War bunker filled to the brim with supplies. We will be conducting any future operations through here, leaving via teleportarium, or zeta-tube as the inhabitants call it.
Sufficed it to say, when we first left the bunker to conduct reconnaissance of our surroundings, I found the gangers to be quite disappointing. Why the Justice League haven't eradicated this small level crime is beyond me. Though, to be fair, drug smuggling, weapons smuggling, protection rackets, the occasional murder here-and-there, and some gang wars to look forward too, while prominent, were hardly worthy of this much attention, much less a problem that they struggle to put down.
Now that I think about it, they may have a reason there.
Then there are the issues of these "super villains," whom takes great joy to cause havoc. Why would they allow them to live is my first question? They are an obvious threat to world unity, and must be eliminated entirely. Its obvious reforms aren't working for them, so what's the point on keeping them?
...Maybe that's why the Justice League keeps them alive, so they can re-use those same villains as training and target practice! It's rather ingenious in a way. This vicious cycle not only keeps them alert, but also in shape.
In fact, within a week in the city, we were first approached by a ganger demanding, and I quote here, "Your money or your life," we couldn't help but laugh at him. It was utterly pathetic really. He had some poor quality plastic face mask alongside some hooded apparel, and ripped blue trousers. Obviously, we dispatched him, and went about our way in peace. At least, not before Amberley left him some kind words before we ran for it. I wonder what she said*28?
Unfortunately, people saw us. Immediately, we were bombarded with questions and concerns about our health. I reassured them we were perfectly alright, yet, these people continued to treat it as if we just underwent an Earthshaker*29 barrage. Fortunately, Jurgen managed to disperse the crowds easily through the usual means, his body odour.
Come to think of it, these people seem to worship the Justice League. I seen plenty of juves and several adults walking onto the open streets, wearing those infernal "shoot me" signs. What I notice is that the vast majority of them appears to like to wear that stupid stylized "S" upon their shirt. For now, I've content myself to ignore such people, and avoid them like the plague they were.
'Ciaphas, how do I look?' Amberley said, stepping out from around the corner, dressed in her new uniform. The Justice League were quite specific i a uniform change. Their reasoning behind it is to hide our identities from the public, something about protecting those we love. To be honest, Amberley hardly needs such protection, she is the most dangerous women on the planet*30. Personally, I believe they think our uniform is "too dark" and would give off the "wrong" impression.
'You do look rather stunning.' I admit, and I do mean that quite literally. Amberley was allowed to keep her body glove, however, the League has forced upon her a red tailcoat to go overtop it, alongside her stormtrooper armour repainted silver with gold trimmings, a dragoon helmet, and a full face respirator. They certainly wish her ill, that's for sure. Then again, I really shouldn't be talking either. They supplied me with a scarlet button up uniform trench coat to go overtop by under armour, some kind of flexible leather accoutrement worn from my belt, a "shako" hat*31, and a mouth and nose respirator. Jurgen wasn't spared either, forced to discard his Valhallan greatcoat, replaced with (you guessed it) a redcoat. Why is it always red*32?!
'Recognize Black Canary - 13; Batman - 02; Wonder Woman - 03.' The Teleportarium's Machine Spirit announced, leading all of us to face our guests. Black Canary and Wonder Woman were the only ones that gave us a smile, even though the latter of which was carrying a wooden crate. 'Now that you've all settled.' Batman said. 'It's time to introduce yourself to Winter Flats as heroes.'
'Pray tell, how are we to do that?' I asked, my sarcasm plain for all to witness. Petty as it is, I find it rather therapeutic. 'Perhaps an endorsement in front of the governor's spire?'
'Well, nothing that grand.' Black Canary joked. 'We were thinking more of a patrol through the city, get you used to the surroundings and people there.'
'Yes, I suppose it's about time we go and get some exercise.' Amberley drawled. 'Though I must ask what are we to do without weapons?'
'You need not fear, for I come bearing the gifts of Hephaestus*33.' Wonder Woman cheered, dropping the crate to reveal our new weapons. My chainsword has been modified, gone were the teeth, now replaced with exposed coils designed to release an electrical shock. My laspistol has been replaced with an air pistol designed to fire paintballs. Turning to Jurgen, he incredulously looked over his paintball weapon, feeling more than a little disgusted of the offending thing. Amberley, however, revealed no such emotions*34.
'Thank you.' I said. There was not much else for me to say any further, so I left it at that. Now, I expected a rather dull patrol, after all, what ganger would be foolish enough to target us with the League? Batman said, 'We will trust that you do not need supervision, therefore we will not be with you, let alone observing you.' There goes my human shield if we ever enter contact, thanks a lot! 'However, you will follow our rules to the letter, or you will face consequences.'
Ah yes, their rules. The most important is to abstain from killing our enemies. No bloody surprise. I swear, they've been repeating that ad nauseam that I'm sure I will be writing that over and over again*35. Another of their rules is to prioritize the life of civilians over capture. Fair enough, if it can help me avoid fighting, that's good enough for me. The last bit was something I did not care for though. Sacrifice yourself if civilian life is in danger.
'Furthermore, if you need help, call us.' Wonder Woman encouraged, a smile on her face.
'We have given a communicator to Amberley.' Black Canary added, showing off a small box device. 'Just press the button, and we'll come running as fast as possible.' Nonetheless, Amberley, Jurgen, and I left the bunker via teleportarium, squeezing out of some glass box that holds a vox.
'Hey fellas! Look at this!' A ganger, inevitably, shouted to his fellows upon our appearance. Obviously the leader judging by his ridiculous pointed red hoodie. 'Looks like christmas came early! Hey Santa, give us some money!'
Amberley and I exchanged looks, debating if we shout ignore the Justice League rules and kill the lot of them rowdy rabble. In the end, I settled with a single order. 'Disperse immediately, or you will be taken as a threat.' I barked in my best commissarial tone. 'By the powers invested to us by the Justice League, you will follow our orders.'
Hesitation. Good, if they act up like this, they'll be less likely to fight. One of the lankier members of the gang, whom I would have mistaken for a grot, whispered. The fear of the Emperor in his eyes. Unfortunately, his fellows disagreed, and continued their approach, armed with broken pipes and knives. So be it.
'Jurgen.' I shouted, pointing at the hoodlums with my new sword (thankful that it still feels the same). 'Man in that ridiculous red outfit, ten rounds, rapid fire.'
Amberley and I joined my odious aide in the fusillade of fire that ensued, punishing the group in a hailstorm of paint. To my surprise, it managed to hurt them more than anticipated, even felling some into a fetal position. Sparing Amberley a glance, she seemed to be dual wielding two autopistols. To my surprise, she was incredibly proficient in her use. Jurgen, however, had to call to reload, and those gangers looked like they were going to get their second wind to regorup. Now, normally, I would suggest a retreat to a more advantageous position, yet I was curious, as I really shouldn't have been (I blame my newfound youth), and charged them with my sword. Truth be told, I smiled to see them retreat. I wouldn't blame them either, I would too if some maniac wearing red would charge me the way I did*36.
The only ones remaining were either unconscious, barely conscious, or had an unfortunate failure in their bladder. The only one that didn't get shot was the grot-like man, and I ordered him to pick up his comrades and leave immediately. He done so with little fuss, something I was eternally grateful for. Unfortunately, that was the least of my troubles.
A long illuminating green trail streaked across the sky, crashing onto a busy street and throwing up a green dust cloud. 'Poison gas!' Jurgen exclaimed, and I was willing to agree with him too, but Amberley was skeptical. Taking a look back, I noticed how the cloud seems to be receding, not expanding with the wind.
'No.' I corrected. 'Smoke. An invasion perhaps?'
'Only one way to find out Cia.' Amberley said, already rushing ahead of us. I spared Jurgen a glance, whom shrugged, and I patted his shoulder. 'Come on then, the Inquisitor shouldn't be without backup.'
'No sir.' He exclaimed, trudging behind me. We caught up with Amberley, pushed people out of our way, and entered the a "downtown" area. Civilians were surrounding the crash sight, the crater still smoking its green glowing smog. I had to get them away, or else I would be stuck escorting civilians away. Which means, I would be staying in the combat area for more than I would like, and probably get killed because somebody tripped or something! I had to act fast, and I jumped on top of a vehicle, ordering in a measured tone. 'Everyone surrounding the crater! Disperse immediately! This is not a drill!' Too late.
The smoke dissipates and we were immediately confronted with something that looks remarkably human. The only exceptions were its orange skin, almost fiery red hair, and glowing green (and menacing) eyes. There was no denying that it was hostile, and I had to act fast, I really do not wish to die for these people. Then I heard something flash in some fool's hand, and the results were typical. 'Get out of there now!' I shouted, and I was fortunate that these people were inclined to agree, especially as this xenos slid down the crater and aimed her shackled forearms at them. Jurgen took up position behind a yellow vehicle with a rooftop that read "Taxi," and laid out suppressing fire. Amberley was taking to the flanks, trying to get behind it, therefore leaving me to get people out of here. Fortunately, those cuffs only allowed her to do melee attacks, though they were hardly effective to start with. Xenos, I'll never understand them. I didn't realize how poor those choice of words were until it was too late.
To be honest, the reason why I never did realize until it was too late because four idiots wearing what could be best described as xeno-philia white shirts started to giggle as they approach her. Why am I even here, just to suffer?
I blocked there access, ordering, 'It isn't safe here! Disperse immediately!' I want to bang my head at the stupidity of their next choice of words, with one woman(?)*37 ordering me! 'No, you get outta the way man! She's just misunderstood, don't hurt her!'
'Misunderstood!' I blurted, shocked that they can actually talk back to a commissar of all things. 'Would you call destroying the streets and buildings "misunderstood"?'
'Yeah!' She cheered, and her deluded confederates joined in, now trying to push me back. I pushed them back in turn, drawing my sidearm. 'And by the powers invested to me by the Justice League.' I drawled, putting emphasis upon the last two words. 'You will disperse for your own safety.'
'Commissar, get down!' My faithful aide shouted, and I was glad I did. I didn't so much see it, but I certainly felt pieces of wall fall on my trench coat. I wasn't buried, thankfully, and it got the xenos-lovers to retreat, but this situation was far from good. Right now, Jurgen's cover had been destroyed and he was forced to move. Amberley was holding her own in close quarters, which prevented the xenos from blasting me, but it was good at fighting up close as well, taking Amberley's blows without effecting it much. Then there was me. Running away was not an option, not if I want to maintain my reputation. Attacking is suicidal, but it can buy time. Unfortunately, Amberley was the one with the com-bead to the Justice League, and she was busy. If we're going to survive, there was only one option and one that I loathed.
I took aim with my pistol, and fired. Lucky that I did too, because she was holding Amberley up with one arm and loading up a fist in the other. I saw the red ball of paint smash against the metal mask that covered most of her face (but not her actual head), and nearly blinded her. Now her gaze was on me, having unceremoniously dropped her hostage*38.
'If you want someone to hit, xenos!' I shouted, my sword aimed right at her. 'Then try your luck against me!' There, I said it. Now to deal with the consequences. The orange skin gleamed with enthusiasm for my "issued contest" and charged. It was rather predictable as to what she would do, and I parried her blows, even managing to fire at point blank range into the scale-like armour of her gut (not that it did anything to her). If anything, I just made her giggle. Fair enough, so I parried another blow and swung the sword, letting the electricity run through, and smashed it against the side of her head.
The orange skin screamed in what must be agonizing pain for just that breath moment, before my completed stroke threw her against a vehicle, caving its side in. Unfortunately, it did very little to deter her, as she pushed herself off. The xenos threw me a malicious smile, working her head around to make an audible crack. She was treating us as practice servitors! Damnation, where are the bloody arbites?!
Sirens. About bloody time! Rumbling down the streets were two large blue vans that skidded to a stop. Finally, they arrived and were armed with proper weapons, unlike our toys. In an instant, the arbites opened up and forced the xenos to retreat into a building reading "Pizza." Shortly thereafter, a man with green eyes and short brown hair approached me, ordering, 'We'll take it from here kid.'
'Thank you sir.' And I meant it too. We can pull back now. I did impart with him. 'I advise caution when apprehending her sir. She's a lot stronger than she looks.'
He snorts, unable to believe me. 'Sure kid, we'll keep that in mind.' He said, reminding me a lot of Zyvan, especially that tone that read "We'll do what we like." Fair enough, if he isn't willing to listen, then that's his problem. I then smelt that familiar miasma again, now addressing. 'Jurgen, did you get-'
'Already done sir.' He cheerfully exclaimed, collecting Amberley in an overarm carry. She was unconscious, probably from exhaustion from that beating*39 she suffered. I nodded, thankful for having someone like him as my aide.
Then we heard a banshee wail, followed by several arbites being thrown out of the "Pizza House" with their tails behind their back. The Arbites Captain winced, turning to me. I waved him off, my own pair of eyes surprised at the outcome myself. I heard one whimpered on the ground, he must be no older than 18. 'Oh god, she's a monster man! A monster! Sh-She fuckin' kissed me man! What the fuck?!'
Oh dear Emperor, not a Slanneshi xenos! That's the last thing I need. Then again, the armour (the apparent use of it that covers her body at least) told me the opposite. Whatever the reason why she molested him, it didn't change the fact that this xenos was an invader. I hope Amberley called on the Justice League, because we're going to need it. Suddenly, we were pelted by green blasts of energy, detonating everything in sight. Now, it was only surface level damage, thankfully, but it was enough to make chips. A reinforcement vehicle was making its way over, and that was immediately blasted. The driver must have panicked, and the vehicle tipped over, and was in flames. Not good.
I approached the Captain, asking, 'With your permission sir, I would like to enter the Pizza House, and pin down the xenos. It should buy you time to bring in reinforcements safely.' After my prior engagement, I'm certain I can face her in a melee. Besides, at least I won't be shot by her plasma rounds.
'I'd rather not kid.' He explained. 'She's dynamite alright, but I'm sure we can starve her out.' A good plan, and one where the League can't blame me for because I'm following the directives of a superior.
'Sir, we have a problem.' A helmeted arbites said, hunkering down at the side. 'She has hostages.'
'What?!' The Captain shouted. 'How many?'
'They got Henry, Jackson, and Macmallin sir.' The arbites answered. 'We don't know what she'll do if we hold out for a siege.'
'Damn it.' The Captain growled, turning to me. 'Alright kid, I don't like it, but I saw what you did earlier. Think you can do the same thing so we can get men inside?'
'I believe so Captain, but I can't guarantee any longer than ten minutes, maybe fifteen if I'm lucky.' I admit, narrowly ducking another blast. 'Would that give you enough time?'
'I certainly hope so.' He grunted, firing several shots. I nodded and turned to Jurgen, ordering. 'Provide me suppressing fire Jurgen.'
'As the Emperor Wills.' He droned, resting the paintball gun on the hood of a broken vehicle. I nodded, and he began firing a barrage. This was followed up by others, pelting the pizza shop with small arms fire. I rushed towards the door, clenching my sword as hard as I can, before barging in. Damnation, even if we did level the floor, it would have done nothing, the damn xenos took cover in the large pit that made up the shop in the first place! Worse yet, it was eating the triangular foodstuffs with a voracious appetite, her hands warming up each slice since it radiated smoke. What's worse, I saw the terrified cook making more. She could have lasted for days if it turned to a siege! Off into a corner, I could see the hostages, all of whom were unconscious, and piled up on top of one another.
I started walking down the stairs, each step making a loud racket of metal, yet it did not turn to face me. Only when I reached the bottom, did it turned to see me. Her cuffs were freed from her hands, and the malicious grinned returned. 'Zota.' It said, stretching her arms and head. 'I did not realize the people of this world are accomplished warriors.'
'And I didn't realize an invasion force usually sends a single warrior as a vanguard.' I said, playing for time, making sure her attention was on me and away from the stairs. 'The arrogance of your people will be your undoing.'
To my surprise, she looked rather miffed at my accusation. 'You think my people are foolish enough to invade with a single warrior?' She demanded. 'How arrogant of your people to assume that my people are arrogant, assuming that your people are weak!'
Er...what?
'Enough distractions.' She growled. 'If you believe you can force me to yield, you are mistaken! A daughter of Tamaran never surrenders, nor will she be enslaved!'
'Even if you were to beat me,' I said, walking ever so slightly so her back is to the stairs, 'and I sincerely doubt that, I've lost count of the number of people who thought they could fight off the guard. But you might as well give it a try if you really want to.' I decided to mimic Amberley, placing an undercurrent of mirth in the back of my tone. 'After all, there's a first time for everything.'
'Hands on the ground!' The arbites shouted, now surrounding the xenos from the upper levels, and from behind. This was then followed by the presence of the Justice League Heroes whom flew right on in as well. The orange skin growled at me, before kneeling before me. 'I…' She began, hesitating as if it was digesting something unpleasant, 'surrender. I am your prisoner.'
I nodded to the arbites Captain, whom saluted me, and motioned for his team to make the arrest. 'Nice going kid.' He said, clapping my back. 'You just saved us a whole lotta time and trouble.'
'Oh, I'm merely doing my duty.' I said, falling back to my usual routine. He laughed it up all the same, and I even heard someone mention. 'The kid just stood there, facing off against some super soldier alien, and won!'
Good, at least I will have gained some human shields in the future. Now came Black Canary, whom patted my shoulder and squeezed tightly. 'Good job.' She said, quite supportively if I may add. 'How do you feel?'
'Well, the night was quite rough.' I joked. 'I don't suppose I'm allowed to sleep in early tonight?'
The assembled heroes started to laugh, minus one exception, at my joke. I asked, 'What of Amberley? Is she alright?'
'The Inquisitor is fine.' Batman said, taking me aside. 'But I expect a report once you return to base. Is that understood?'
I sighed, it was typical really. Even in the grim dark future of the 42nd millennium, there is only paperwork. Fortunately for me, I have a Jurgen to do it for me*40.
—FOOTNOTES—
22. They honestly did believe that…and I was forming a plan.
23. I find it ironic how you feel uncomfortable with him, when you, yourself self-describe as one. Never mind the less-than-legal side activities I know you are possibly party of.
24. I told you so~
25. I found out that it was a "telepathic" link shared between the Justice League, using the Martian Manhunter as a vox-caster.
26. Knowing the Justice League's morality and philosophy, they would have seen Jurgen's own belief, or lack thereof, as something tragic, perhaps even horrifying.
27. Is there any real doubt Ciaphas? Of course I'm right!
28. Some things are best left unspoken.
29. The Earthshaker Cannon is the Imperial guard's standard heavy artillery piece designed to lob high explosive shells at the enemy, decimating nearly anything within its effective radius. Sufficed to say, Cain is obviously over exaggerating here.
30. That is rather sweet of him to say.
31. A tall, cylindrical cap with a visor that was used by the old Terran militaries. For Cain's case, He had a plume attached to the top.
32. From my understanding, they wished to establish a sort of theme amongst us. I believe it has something to do with "accountability" to the public by making us stand out or as a way to not mistake us for those of the local arbites. Nonetheless, they have painted a rather large target upon us in an effort to "demilitarize" our appearance, and make us more approachable. I had protested against such apparel, pointing out how Batman does not subscribe to others within the League. Unfortunately, they claim that Batman spent years to regain trust with the police and they did not wish the same with us. Ridiculous!
33. Hephaestus was the old Terran god of blacksmiths, metalworking, carpenters, craftsmen, artisans, sculptors, metallurgy, fire, and volcanoes. I suppose the closest analogy would be to the Techpriest's Omnissiah. In this case, Wonder Woman and her Amazonians actually believe in the old Terran gods.
34. If I were honest, I didn't come with great expectations with the weapons I was provided, therefore I expected disappointment.
35. And thus, our descent into madness has begun…as well as literary assault against the gothic language.
36. I distinctly recall you shouting the Ork war cry "Waaagh" as you did so, waving around your sword and letting the electrical sparks fly. To be honest, I would have shot you if I didn't remember that no Orks were among us at the time.
37. I wasn't sure myself, to be honest. He…she…it (?) was rather rotund, along with showing off blue hair in a similar manner as the Tau sympathizers...she also had a portly face, which made identification difficult.
38. Excuse you?! I was merely playing dead, thereby allowing Ciaphas Cain to line up a proper shot!
39. Ciaphas is obviously exaggerating for narrative purposes. I was exhausted, yes, but my spar with the orange skin was not one-sided.
40. Not anymore I'm afraid, Batman has made sure of that, I assure you.