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THREE

Why? I've been using that single word so many times, I just don't know what else I can say. The bloody orange skin xenos from about five months ago*41 was just released back into the world as a ruddy hero! WHY?! Yes, they have kept an overseer to keep her in check. Yes, I am told that the Green Lanterns are a galaxy-wide force (which I refuse to believe)*42. Yes, they assured us that she will not fall out of line. No, I do not believe them! I can understand us, we're humans after all, but she's a bloody xenos, so why is she allowed to exist on this Emperor-damned world. Are they really that desperate for numbers?

I digress though, that really isn't important right now. There has been a situation that requires a full PDF response, and we've been ordered to the Watchtower to muster our forces. It must be something serious*43 if they are deploying everyone for a direct response. To be honest, I'm rather curious as to what kind of threat would warrant such reaction. I marched off the teleportarium, and reported directly to Batman, ignoring the others whom were already getting dispatched to their assigned locations.

'Commissar Ciaphas Cain alongside Gunner Jurgen and Inquisitor Vail, reporting for duty!' I said, throwing up a salute, though more out of habit and to keep appearances than anything. Around me, I could see smiles and teasing glances on us by the remaining heroes in the room. Unfortunately, his eyes narrowed on me, and I have a feeling he knows I'm taking the piss outta him.

'Very well. Let us get started.' Batman said, presenting the holographic image of their world. 'For the past few weeks, I had conducted an investigation to an arms dealing syndicate. At first, I believed that the weapons they supplied were coming off world.'

'Xenos smuggling weapons onto our world?' Amberley asked, bewildered. 'How come nobody has noticed this?'

'That's what I thought too.' Batman admitted, before showing us the next slide, something that made my blood freeze. 'That is, until yesterday.'

'Heretics.' Jurgen seethed, glaring at the photo. This was, unholy. Humans and blue-skinned xenos (not Tau species though) are working together, hand-in-hand, and manufacturing lasguns. If they are shipping these weapons to the criminals, who already have better weapons than I have, my life expectancy on this accursed world would dramatically decreased.

'That certainly is a problem.' I remarked, unable to hide my disgust. 'What are our orders?'

'I have located three locations in the world that manufactures these weapons. You will be part of an assault-' He began, but was interrupted by Flash, whom protested. 'Whoa, hold up Bats. Look, I know that these kids are soldiers and all, but you can't seriously expect them to handle this all on their own.'

'I must agree with Flash.' I added, though reluctant to agree with the narcissist. 'While we are soldiers, we lack the numbers necessary to take the facility. Not without allowing the enemy to escape our grasp.'

'Unless, of course,' Amberley added, lacking the usual mirth, 'you aren't interested in the enemy. No, you're after something, something the enemy possesses that allowed them to bypass the planetary defences.' She accused. 'That's what you want, isn't it!'

'It is.' Batman said, confirming Amberley's suspicions. 'This problem would continue unless we learn how they infiltrate our world.'

'I agree completely.' She replied. 'However, these traitors must be caught. I desire a complete wipeout encirclement. In order to do so, I am officially requesting additional manpower.'

'I concur with Inquisitor Vail.' I added, backing up her sentiments, after all, I need human shields too. Wonder Woman leaned in, and whispered into Batman's ear. Superman also came in to add his own words as well, followed by Green Arrow and Black Canary. Perhaps our request would be granted. I'm not going to lie, I was rather excited that we would be able to have a proper force to back us up.

I came to regret it much, much later.

These are our reinforcements? Those were my first thoughts when I saw them. A mutant dressed in yellow and red; a grot-sized human in red and black; a abhuman that lives in this world's oceans; and a juve wearing red and armed with a primitive bow. I tried my best not to twitch my eye when I approached Batman. 'Sir, I must protest.' I pleaded, begging him to see reason. 'They aren't trained-'

'Excuse me pal.' The bloody juve archer said, his voice laced with ego. 'But if you finish that sentence, the next arrow is going up someplace you don't like.'

'Roy.' Green Arrow admonished. 'Leave him be. Ciaphas isn't used to fighting with heroes.'

'Oh, so they're noobies!' The mutant cheered, as if it's something to boast about. He then sped up, stopping beside Amberley to elbow her. 'Stick with me sweet cheeks, I'll show you all my moves.'

'You will step away from the Inquisitor, mutant.' I barked, levelling my sidearm at his head. I couldn't believe him. How could this waste of life, son-of-a-narcissist dare to even address an Inquisitor in such a way, especially such a disgusting suggestion to her*44!

'Woah, dude, calm down! I'm just joking!' He shouted, hands raised and stepping back. 'C'mon, we're all friends here.'

'A joke?' I repeated, ensuring to drip as much commissarial hate into my tone. 'If you even consider saying such a thing again, I will sentence you to a summary execution.'

'Sheesh, calm down.' The little grot snidely remarked. 'KF didn't mean anything about it.' I turned to Amberley, noticing a delicate shiver run through her. The child must have saw it too, whom quickly retracted his statement pathetically. "Never mind. Go ahead with whatever it is you're going to do.'

'Dude?!' KF exclaimed, surprised by the sudden betrayal. Quite frankly, I was just about to carry out my threat, unfortunately, Batman barked. "Enough! We have gone off topic too long, now focus!'

Once I kill the git, I should have said, but ignored my inner desires to listen to him. We were just outside the manufactorum*45, and the plan was simple, and I meant it as no compliment. Yet, they all seem to nod their heads safely, saying how smart it was. The plan of attack is, quite simply, to attack. The only part of the "plan" that I remotely agree with, is that the heroes were going in first. We were to follow closely behind them, back them up.

'What do you think, Commissar?' Black Canary gently asked me. 'You don't seem to agree.' Oh great, now all eyes were on me. If I were to deflect, they'd know I'm full of groxshit and would be less likely to cover me. If I were to disagree, this dysfunctional unit would collapse the minute we enter battle, especially when the juves would more than likely see us dead.

'Well, the plan is fine.' I began, taking time to pretend I was gathering my thoughts. 'However, I would advise we separate into three-man teams with a blocking detachment at the front door.' It makes sense. We have twelve "soldiers" altogether. 'I suggest that Amberley, Jurgen, Aquaman, Aqualad, and I would form one team, and the two mutants can form the blocking detachment.'

'Dude, uncool!' The mutant exclaimed, looking indignant. 'Would you just let it go already?!'

No, I'd rather not, narcissists don't deserve a response, and the older Flash seemed to get it, taking his replacement aside to talk with him. I digress, turning to Batman, I believed he would readily take up my advice.

'No, and we don't have time to discuss further.' He replied, though I did catch a hint of frustration*46.

'Very well.' I acquiesced. 'We shall follow your orders.'

'Just stay behind me, got it?' Black Canary whispered. As much as I'm pained to admit it, Black Canary is about the only one hero that is rather tolerable. That isn't to say I wouldn't use her as a shield, but I would rather use the narcissist first. The abhumans are next, of course. Nonetheless, Amberley, Jurgen, and I followed the heroine. We walked across the field, yes walked, out into the open on a moonlit night. My palms were itching, and I darted my head across the front.

Suddenly, a barrage of blue pulses flashed through my vision, and if it wasn't for Jurgen, I wouldn't be here right now. I thanked my odious aide, before shouting to the others. 'Ambush!'

I kept my head down, discarding the stupid hat and tried not to move. 'The Commissar's down!' The KF idiot shouted. 'I'm going to go get him!'

'No you idiot! Focus on-' I tried to order, telling him to stop, but the blasted mutant didn't listen! The bloody fool dropped me with the rest of the heroes. The archers were exposed, shooting blindly with their arrows. The abhumans formed up some sort of shield, revealing our position to be targeted with heavier equipment! The bloody idiots, the lot of them, and I'm going to die with them!

'You bloody idiots!' I shouted, pushing the mutant and child away. 'Focus on the mission!'

'Well, excuse me, for trying to save your life!' KF shouted back, the impertinence of the idiot! To my surprise, it was Batman who defended me, barking. 'Flash, Kid Flash. Take those guns out!' Thank the Emperor, with any luck, one of the two idiots will die and I shall be free from their idiocy*47.

'Commissar.' Batman ordered. 'Return back to your unit.'

'By your command.' I said, out of habit. I broke cover, happy to finally be out of the area and return to the others. I immediately threw myself, hitting beside Amberley. 'I apologize for my sudden disappearance Inquisitor.' I joked, checking my kit.

'I understand completely.' She replied, a hint of mirth in her tone. 'I'd hate to have to kill you.' I still remember the first time she said that to me, but I know just how serious she was since then. Yet, I smiled and laughed it off, but that fell quickly afterwards. I scanned the approach, and the mutants were doing their jobs poorly. Those guns weren't going offline*48, and it'll only be time before the traitors brings up something heavier. In the event of ambushes, there was only one solution, and one I really, really despise.

'Fix bayonets!' I barked suddenly, in my best parade ground snap. 'Equip bayonets, be ready for blood!' Jurgen didn't need to know anymore, latching the electric "blade" onto the barrel lugs.

'Are you sure Cia?' Amberley whispered, following Jurgen's lead. I wasn't, I have to admit. I didn't have enough reliable manpower, but what other choice did I have? Between choosing a certain death out in the open field, or a chance of death getting into close quarters, I know what I would choose. I pulled out the commissarial assault whistle, resting it between my teeth.

'Don't,' Black Canary shouted, trying to take the whistle away, 'it's too dangerous!' I ignored her (a first for me, mind you) and blasted the damn thing. 'For the Emperor!' I shouted, digging the toes of my foot into the dirt, and forced myself to charge. 'Waaagh!' As I expected, barrels are now aiming at me. To my surprise, they were getting shot down as quickly as they turned. About bloody time, I would think. Those blasted mutants finally did something right.

Jurgen rushed ahead of me, slamming against the door. Amberley hit the other side of the door, a paint grenade ready. This left me to kick the door down, and she threw the grenade in. The detonation were followed with panicked screams, and Jurgen rushed in, bayonet jabbing into his targets. Amberley and I backed him up, providing him with a fusillade of fire. Only then, did the heroes actually decide to help out, doing a "remarkable" job to clean out the chaff. Now, I wouldn't normally look at the traitors, but something about them seems off.

I was about to search the bodies, but I was pulled back and was faced with an irate Black Canary. 'What were you thinking?!' She demanded, shaking me. Jurgen moved to throw her off me, but I held out a single hand, Black Canary isn't going to hurt me. 'That was incredibly reckless!'

'And what would you have us do then?' I asked, keeping my voice levelled. 'If we were to stay in place, we would all be dead. Experience has taught me that, in the event of an ambush, the best response is to counter-attack, quickly and forcefully.'

'Then what would have happened if you'd died?' She asked, startled at the response. 'What do you think would happen to Jurgen and Amberley if you died?' Honestly, I'd have expected her to be used to it by now. It could be her maternal instincts though, I've seen that happen several times in the 597th whenever I tried to take care of…don't tell me she thinks me as one of her spawns*49!

'Black Canary.' Batman called out. 'We can talk with them later, for now we have to clear this facility out.' He turns in my direction, ordering. 'You will follow Aquaman and Aqualad to clear out the lowest level.'

'What of reinforcements?' I quickly asked, hoping we were not the only ones going in.

'There are none.' He replied, and I felt a part of my heart drop. This was foolhardy, but protesting now would ruin unit cohesion, and I can't have that. For my part, I saluted the Batman, then addressed the abhuman leader. 'By your orders.' I tried to ignore the snickering from the child and juve narcissist, which seemed to be the best thing I could have done, the adhuman looking me over approvingly, while scorning the others with a glance.

'Ready when you are, Commissar.' My faithful aide said, hoisting the paintball gun. I turned to Batman, whom was ready to protest, only to stop when both Amberley and Black Canary took him aside. Excellent, at least I would have one loyal, and reliable, man beside me.

'Come along then, both of you.' Aquaman said, though it sounded like an order to me. 'We mustn't tarry any longer.' Oh Emperor, he must be some abhuman nobility*50. Nonetheless, Jurgen and I followed him and entered a lift.

'Some tea Commissar?' My faithful aide asked, and I took the outstretched cup without question. 'Thank you Jurgen.' I said, once again touched by his thoughtfulness. 'And one for yourself.'

'You mustn't be drinking now.' The abhuman juve, Aqualad, advised rather arrogantly. 'You must remain focused at all time.'

'In my experience, there is always time to break up the stress of combat.' I retorted, miffed by him. There will be no one that will stand against me and tanna, never again, and especially not by some abhuman git!

'You should listen to the Commissar Kaldur.' Aquaman said, much to my surprise. 'What the Commissar says is true. At times like these, you must always find time to loosen your muscles before your next bout of action.' He allowed a little mirth to enter his voice. 'After all, that harrowing and heroic charge against a fortified enemy position must have exhausted our friends here.' More like a suicidal and absolutely stupid decision made out of pure desperation and terror in the hopes of staving off a certain death.

'I don't quite understand, my king.' The abhuman stated. My opinion of him softened a bit. At the very least, the abhuman was honest. For now, I was content to ignore the two, finishing my cup, and got ready.

'Jurgen.' I said, racking the slide of my pistol. 'Grenades.'

'Do you have a plan?' Aquaman asked, and I nodded. 'Yes sir.' I answered, positioning myself so that both of the abhumans were in front of me. 'I advise you produce a shield once the doors open, thereby allowing Jurgen to throw his grenade. The ensuing havoc would allow us to mop up the rest of them with little difficulty.'

"I agree.' The abhuman noble stated, turning to his protege (I hazard a guess here). 'Kaldur, get ready.'

'Yes, my king.' He said, wielding his hilts which produced the same shield I saw from before. I'm sure that, if Felicia were here, she would call it "tech heresy" most foul, before dissecting it to figure out how to make her own. Jurgen handed me a grenade, and I accepted it. When the doors opened, we were immediately bombarded by enemy fire. Jurgen and I pulled the pins on each, and lobbed them.

Now, I didn't see the results of our lobs, since I was obviously hiding behind the two heroes, but it must have been promising. The minute the grenades detonated, those two abhumans charged in and started throwing their weight around. Well good on them! This means that Jurgen and I can calmly step out and "execute" whoever's conscious, and that is exactly what we did.

While some "gracefully" accepted their judgement, some attempted to resist, but there is one sight that leaves me with pure disgust. One of these traitors was reaching out for one of the bluies*51. 'Heretic!' Jurgen seethed beside me, and I agree with him wholeheartedly. I forcibly forced the heretic to his knees, resting the barrel at the back of his skull. The blue-skin started spewing some jabber in her alien tongue, tears in her eyes.

'Jurgen.' I said. 'If you would kindly put it out of its-'

'She has a name!' The Heretic protested. 'Her name is Torra!' Before I could shoot him, Aqualad grabbed the barrel of my sidearm. Aquaman had Jurgen in a Vostroyan man hug. 'Yes?' I politely asked. 'Is there a problem?'

'Yes there is!' The Abhuman juve stated. 'You were about to execute these people even when they are no longer a threat.'

'They are still a threat.' I pointed out. 'These two were still able to move. Perhaps countless more too.'

Aquaman nodded, releasing Jurgen to check the bodies. 'Aqualad.' He said sternly. 'Please let the Commissar due his duty. He was shielding our backs.'

'But my king, surely you can see the way he goes about it is also wrong.' Aqualad protests. 'We shouldn't condone it.'

'And we shall not condone it, but that should be saved for the after action brief.' He informed, allowing me to perform my duty. Thank the Emperor for small mercies, though I did manage to eavesdrop on their conversation. 'Kaldur, please understand that I am always proud of you. For your strong moral conviction and your sense of honour.' I had to bite my lips to stop myself from laughing. 'However, there are those who do not respect such ideals as you do. That is why I tend to knock out my opponents more often, even when they surrender, as a means to protect myself and others around me.'

'I understand, my king.' The abhuman juve said. 'But why do we condone the Commissar's and Jurgen's method of dispatching our foes? Surely their actions will give the people the wrong idea.'

'It does, and I disagree with their methods immensely.' Aquaman said, to which my opinion of him did drop some. 'However, you mustn't judge them too harshly, for this is how they were trained to dispatch potential threats.' As well as daemons, xenos, anyone that disagrees with me, or someone that I just don't like. 'As such, at the debrief, we shall bring this to the League's attention so we can then come up with a way to correct this problem.'

Oh bother, I wonder what insanity I'm forced to listen to now?

'Furthermore, you will also be required to attend lessons from Black Canary and Wonder Woman about ethics and procedure.' Batman said, rumbling on ahead like a Leman Russ through swathes of infantry. To be honest, I was expecting a harsher punishment then a stern dressing down, but complainers can't be choosers, and I'll happily complain again if I only earn myself a light slap on the wrist*52.

'However, in light of your actions.' Batman said, wrapping up his speech. 'Good job.'

'A question.' Amberley spoke up. "What have you learnt of the enemy's method of transportation, and what is to become of the traitors and xenos?' Ah, I forgot about that part*53. I'm more than content with leaving them for the Justice League, less paperwork for me (more correctly, for Jurgen) to do. In support of Amberley, I added. 'I'm sure they have been placed in containment facilities for future interrogations.'

'The human members of the factory have been arrested.' Flash said, and to my surprise without the usual narcissistic tone. 'The aliens were given to the Green Lantern Corps to be tried by the intergalactic court.' Amberley and I shared a look, and I'm glad to see she was as surprised as I was to hear there was an actual court for the entire galaxy. Still, as surprising as it was, I didn't think much of it, after all, it's not like the heroes are actually working for those xenos*54.

'Also, we learnt that they our original hypothesis was wrong.' Batman said. 'We believed they were using some sort of zeta-beam technology, but it turns out that there was an underground hangar with multiple transport vessels filled with weapons. Said transports possess stealth capabilities making it invisible to radar.'

'You can't possibly mean that these xenos are just using this world as a secret weapons manufactorum!' I exclaimed, unable to believe it myself. If that were the case, and an enemy of this species were to locate the facility, the planet would be invaded, and more importantly, I would be amongst the first to die if those civilians act just like the ones from the prior incident.

'That is what we will learn soon enough.' Aquaman interjected. 'For now, you do not need to know more.'

'I'm sure you will inform the local governments.' Amberley said, eyebrows raised as if she was judging a response.

'At the moment, no.' Green Arrow said, arms crossed. 'We're worried that if we tell the UN, then it will cause a panic.'

'I must protest.' I declared, rather indignantly if I remember correctly. 'I would prefer if that local authorities were alerted, or at the very least, push for a mass recruitment drive for the Justice League.' I would feel much more comfortable with more human shields in front of me.

'We will put your suggestions in consideration.' Black Canary said, rather reassuringly. 'For now, stay with Speedy and the others.'

'Must we?' I said, phrasing it more as a plea for her to reconsider. For a moment, I believed she would reconsider her decision based off her displeasurable wince. Unfortunately, I was wrong once again (I believe this is coming more prevalent since I've been here). 'Unfortunately, no.' She insisted. 'Someone has to babysit the children.'

I winced, looking at the Justice League replacements. With no other choice, I willed myself to meet with the "sidekicks," as the Justice League calls them. 'Commissar.' The abhuman greeted us, though the tone did sound slightly strained. 'I want to tell you, that despite our difference in training, I do wish to thank you. Your intentions were pure and heroic, and in time, I hope you will find your way around.'

"Yes, thank you.' I said, shook at the offered hand, and stood at ease. To be honest, there wasn't much else I could say or do, and the gathered replacements believe it best to stare at us in disapproval. Well, I don't care much for them either, so that's good for my sanity. Unfortunately, they would be less likely to come save me either*55. With much reluctance, I attempted to form a rapport. 'I am Commissar Ciaphas Cain.' I began, giving them my best ballroom smile. 'It's a pleasure to meet all of you.' Blatant lies, and I'm sure they all knew it*56.

'We have nothing to say to you.' Kid Flash snarled, really snarled, at us. 'You're no better than the murderers.'

At least I'm not a trigger-happy commissar, that's why I'm still here unlike many of my "schola colleagues"*57. 'I do what is needed to ensure discipline among the ranks.' I offered my retort. 'If the enemy we thought unconscious were to shoot us form behind, morale would drop and unit cohesion would be destroyed!'

I heard a contemptuous snicker from the child. 'You guys aren't soldiers so don't even talk like that.' Robin said, lacing each part of his tone with his arrogance. 'No matter how you justify it, you guys are just psychopaths with guns. Well, two psychopaths with guns.' He looked at Amberley mischievously, which brought my ire to him, I won't lie.

'You are partially correct.' I admitted, though that earned my several looks of confusion, which I was forced to elaborate. 'I am just a political officer, Ms. Vail is an inquisitor, but Gunner First Class Jurgen is a soldier. You may besmirch my name, and perhaps even Ms. Vail's, but you will not insult Jurgen.'

'I don't believe this.' The confusingly named "Speedy" said, perhaps even shouting. He jabbed a finger into my shoulder. 'You aren't fooling anyone but yourself. You think what you did was justified, but what if that was a real gun?'

'Then we'll have one less traitor. It is of no consequence' I replied with vitriol, only to earn a spit-filled shout of indignation at my direction by Kid Flash. 'How can you say that?!'

'I can say it, because I've done it before.' I bit back, giving the mutant my best commissarial glare, which forced him to back down. I practiced my breathing, forcing the sounds that will come from it. 'Listen, there are things that we may disagree with, especially with our opposing opinions, but I am willing to make compromises.' There, that should placate the juves.

'We want nothing to do with you.' Robin seethed, looking up to meet my eyes. 'So either get out of the way, or be a part of the problem.' One after another, those juves started leaving. Well, not all of them. The abhuman stayed behind.

'I apologize for the attitudes of my friends.' He said. 'They do mean well, and they have a strong sense of morality and justice as I do, however, they can be impatient at times.'

'Rude, would be the word I would use.' Amberley said rather nonchalantly, something I'd expect from an Inquisitor of her mettle. 'However it is not your apology that we would require, but theirs.'

'Still, it is from the bottom of my heart to be patient with them.' He insists. 'They will come to understand.'

'Do you?' Amberley probed, gently resting a hand on his shoulder.

'Not entirely.' He admitted, which I will not be afraid to admit, earned some favour from me. 'I may not understand everything you do, but I do believe that you have good intentions behind your reasons.' That is, until I'm sure I can get away with leaving you and the rest of the replacements when the fighting begins. For now, He makes for a good human shield for Amberley, Jurgen, and I. Now, if we can have the others to fall in line, even better.

'Well, it is a pleasure to meet you then.' I paused, I don't believe I got his name.

'Kaldur. When not in public, you may call me Kaldur.' He said, smiling, and extending a hand. I shook it just like that.

≡][≡

Editorial Note:

It is perhaps worth restating that we have maintained a certain animosity for the ones named Kid Flash, Robin, and Speedy from that night. In fact, if it weren't for my efforts to force Jurgen to stand down, the events of last night would have ended rather violently. Nonetheless, I have managed to compile the following interactions between Green Arrow's group and Flash's group. Unfortunately, the prose style used by my agent could best be described as a direct assault on the Gothic language that can challenge the great Jenit Sulla's. I wonder if they are related?

Extracted from Mah Journal, by Conrad Sullivan, November 12, 2009

Speedy, Green Arrow, and Black Canary were just finishing up the last bits of the mooks that tried to rob a store runner by that cool owner dude. Sure, they were all smiles and awesomeness, but I got to listen in to the cracks. Speedy was raging against the Inquisitor, whom is totes hot btw, and was spitting straight shit out.

'I can't believe we're allowing maniacs like them even join the League!' He shouted like punk. 'It's bad enough those guys started executing people because "They were traitors" but to also consider torturing them for information?! Does that sound like League behaviour to you?'

'Roy, calm down.' Green Arrow said, trying to force Speedy to take a chill pill. 'It's not that simple. They're still rough around the edges.'

'Rough around the edges?' He kept shouting. 'They've been here, for what, five, six months tops? They aren't "rough" partner, they're psychopaths.'

'Roy, that's enough!' Black Canary snarled at him. 'You don't know them, you don't know what kind of life they've had.'

'Then make me understand!' He shouted. 'All I see are three psychopaths that should be in jail!'

'Those three are soldiers-' Black Canary tried to explain, but Speedy interrupted her like the bitch-ass he is. 'Some soldiers.'

'ROY!'

'Whatever, if you can't see how dangerous they are, then I'll prove it!' He snarled at his betters, before running off.

So with those guys running off who knows where, I went off and called up my bro in Central City and he told me what happened there. Well, he recorded the conversation so I can tell ya. You see, Flash and Kid Flash finished up their bitches and decided to buy like, a bajillion chimichangas and took a break in the park. I mean, damn, their asses must be on fire after they ate that much shit! But I'm going off topic. You see, during their break, Kid Flash was talking shit about my friends. He said. 'Shouldn't those guys be thrown in jail? I mean, c'mon Uncle Barry, even you can see how unstable they are!'

Flash said. 'You gotta give those three time Wally. They aren't from around here, literally. They've been taught a whole different way than the rest of us.'

'Whatcha mean Uncle Barry?' He asked, looking confused. 'I mean, they say they were soldiers but that's ridiculous! They'd be too young and they are total noobs!'

'Wally.' Flash said, looking more mournful. 'You're wrong. They are soldiers. Raised up in some place called the Imperium of Man and attended a school dedicated to creating people like them. Jurgen's an exception, but he's so used to being abused that he thinks it's just the way life is.'

'Oh c'mon Uncle Barry, that's stupid!' He claimed. 'The likelihood of another place following the same path as us is almost impossible! I mean, they're so obviously lying about their origins.'

'We had Martian Manhunter check over them. They aren't lying Wally.' He calmly states, looking directly into Kid Flash's eyes.

'Well…they could have…er…I got nothing.' He admitted. 'Still, they aren't ready for this! They're so green and noobies Uncle Barry! You gotta at least teach them properly before sending them out.'

Then the sirens rang out and the two of them started gunning for the hills. So let me tell ya that those two idiots are the absolute worst people I've ever met! I mean, the Justice League is actually trying to understand the Inquisitor and her friends. At least they are trying to be understanding and are trying to help them instead of condemning them. Sure, they may have taken away their guns and swords, but they are promising to train them how to fight with their fists. And I say, I fear for the next gen because boy-oh-boy, things are going to look downhill from here.

—FOOTNOTES—

41. Approximately four months, three weeks, five days, and four hours ago. I'd give Ciaphas a pass though, I didn't much care much for the timing, as I was as bewildered as he was. I even sent in a formal protest to the League. As expected, they declined my advice.

42. At this moment of time, I had come to terms with my new state of existence on this bizarre world called "Earth," the ancient name for Holy Terra itself. I believe Cain is still in a state of denial.

43. Wait for it…

44. And if Cain didn't issue that statement, I wouldn't have been as gentle. At the time, I felt a warmth fill me when he intervened to defend my honour, so I allowed him to continue doing so.

45. I should explain the situation a little bit better. The manufactorum was an underground facility with its only entrance was an abandoned warehouse in the middle of an open field. We were hidden behind in the forrest surrounding that warehouse.

46. As much as it annoys me, Batman was working with limited resources, spread thin, and forced to commit triage. I, however, would have involved the the PDF and Imperial Guard into this operation. I believe it has something to do with the ego I found apparent with heroes. Stupid, the lot of them.

47. It gets worse. Emperor preserve me.

48. Fast enough, at least. For every gun those two mutants wiped out, ten more rises up to take its place.

49. Not just you Ciaphas. She considers me the "responsible, older daughter," and Jurgen the "smelly, little brother." If I remember correctly, she thinks of you as the "reckless, middle brother."

50. King, actually. I was rather surprised myself that the ruler of the underwater dwelling abhumans was topside, and "fighting for justice," to use one of their terms.

51. Bluies, a term Cain and the rest of the 597th used to refer to the Tau for their blue skin. While the xenos here aren't exactly the Tau, but I can't fault him for calling them that.

52. Do note that the Justice League confiscated our weapons until we learn how to be responsible with them. A minor setback, and one where we'd end up producing or purchasing our own.

53. Honestly Cain…

54. That is what I believe, until I learnt that the Green Lantern Corps are a multi-species organization that police the galaxy. Fortunately, they are spread thin, and the human members are loyal to Earth, or so they say.

55. You would be wrong again. During the fighting in the manufactorum, I was almost killed because the blasted mutant forgot to check his corners. This was after a stern warning for my one-man firing squad, and the confiscation of my paintball autoguns. I believe that, even if we were to do something the Justice League disproves, they will still "save" us. However, Cain and I agreed to not take the chance.

56. To my surprise, that wasn't why they were upset with us. Even I knew the load of lies you were pouring into that one sentence, yet they didn't pick up on it. Actually, they were scornful of our use of "brutal force" against "defeated" villains, because it was "overkill" and "unnecessary."

57. An exaggeration (and possible embellishment), something I'm sure you know Cain loves to say.

Author's Note From the Real Author, Vumanchu

I want to take time to say, thank you. Thank you all for taking the time to read this story of mine and joining the adventures of Ciaphas Cain on Earth-16. I meant to pop this up at Chapter 1, but I gotten excited and forgot. Nonetheless, I thank you for your patience as I pump chapters out as fast as I can.

Now, to address the footnote problems. Yes, I am aware of the problems with it. To be honest, I tried to incorporate them into the story, but it looks rather unpleasant when I do it. The only suggestion I have at the moment is to open another tab that has the footnotes as you read. I realize it is unideal and a hindrance, and I apologize, but I cannot think of any other way unfortunately.

As for the whole idea of making the Justice League "dumb and weak," I'm not really sure what you mean. I believe I am writing them as in-character as possible, while maintaining their optimism for the HERO OF THE IMPERIUM. If, however, that is not the case, please send a private message so that I can improve upon their characters. That goes doubly the same for the HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, for I do not wish to make something that breaks character.