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FOUR

I am definitely, positively, absolutely losing my mind. I wished this was a bad dream, unfortunately, I had been reliably informed by Amberley that it isn't. At the moment, I feel infuriated about the circumstances that brought me here. That blasted daemon*58 really wanted nothing more than to sow havoc upon my life! I wonder if Emeli put him up to this? I wouldn't be surprised in all honesty, that thing seems to hold somewhat of a grudge*59 against me, Emperor knows why. Yet despite it all, I found myself—to my surprise—rather homesick lately.

It has been almost close to a year now*60, and we have yet to make any real progress to finding a way home. Obviously, old Commissar Ciaphas Cain has gone bonkers-mental, right? What, compared to home, this Terra must be absolute paradise, why would anyone want to return to that madness? Thus, I have answered my own question. I had obviously gone mad if I ever want to go back. It must be something in the air of this Terra that must have done something to my mind. I must have been clearly delirious to think I should ever go back home, and it must have been a struggle just to hold onto what little rational part of my Emperor-given brain there was left. If I was mentally-capable, I would have recognized it and put a stop to these plans. Except, if I did, I know for a fact that Amberley would shoot me and I would have lost the companionship I earned with Jurgen. Obviously, I have to do what I should, all in order to preserve my fraudulent reputation.

'Tea, commissar?' a familiar voice enquired at my elbow, and Jurgen's face appeared from the periphery, my nose forewarned me that he'd begun to lean in my direction.

To say the least, I will always value his companionship and loyalty, after all, what would I do without him? 'Thank you Jurgen.' I said, accepting the mug of tanna he held out for me. I looked towards the door, which housed the Justice League leadership on Terra. I believe it read, "Staff Only."*61.

'Commissar and Gunner, I presume?' An unfamiliar woman said, as if she already knew whom she was addressing. To be perfectly honest, the woman with the long black hair seems to possess remarkably youthful green eyes*62. 'I thank you for your patience. Please follow me.'

I followed behind her, undeterred by the sudden flashing of cameras amongst the crowd of civilians. Believe me, I tried to ignore their whispers because they are as worse as the regular nobility in a gala! 'Who are they? Where did they come from? That guy following the other guy stinks! Man he stinks!' I almost stopped to give them a mouthful, I should have given them a mouthful, but the Justice League's "Public Relations Officer*63" has motioned for us quickly, and I was frankly too tired, to follow close by. We were then asked us to be seated, again. Across from me was the "second" Green Lantern and Wonder Woman. I opted to stand and salute, and Green Lantern II smiled back and returned the salute, then motioned for me to take a seat, similar to that like what Zyyvan does.

'Sir.' I said, bringing up my best "polite petitioning officer" request. 'I understand that High Command was rather bewildered by my request, that they found it necessary to order my presence to explain myself. Therefore, I will make the appeal to you once again. I, Commissar Cain—acting on behalf of Inquisitor Amberley Vail—firmly request for new vox casters, weapons, field rations, and an armoured vehicle.'

'May I ask why? I was under the impression that we have been providing enough for you and your team.' Wonder Woman said, though not unpleasantly. She seemed quite happy, dare I say, pleased that I am requesting those supplies, I wonder why*64?

'Very well, allow me to explain.' I politely answered. 'Amberley and I had discussed our current situation, and felt it necessary to request these additional supplies. We had spent close to a year in Winter Flats to compile our needs. First, our need for reliable transportation. To our surprise, Winter Flats is too expansive to be patrolled by foot. Furthermore, the areas of high criminal activity are more spread out than anticipated. In addition, the criminal class seems to make use of facilities, either home made or natural, outside the city limits.' I gave myself time to breath in and gaze upon their eyes. They seem receptive, so I continued. 'Second, we require vox casters to remain in communication with one another. As much as we appreciate the ones provided by the Justice League, we believe it underpowered and lacks the range for our purposes. Much to our surprise, Amberley and I tend to disperse in order to make up more ground and it makes communications difficult.'

I held a hand, and my faithful aide deposited a "tablet"*65 upon my hands to show the next piece of evidence. 'Third, we believe our weapons are not powerful enough. The clothes the gangers wear are too thick, and are resistant to the paintball rounds. Often times, we are forced to enter into close quarters much more often than we believe necessary. I need not tell you how much risk is involved when close-quarters combat.'

'And the field rations?' Green Lantern II queried in a tone that tells me it is more out of curiosity, than an order. Seeing no reason to lie, I plainly told him. 'We got tired of planning and cooking field rations from the raw food you provided.'

For whatever reason, he seemed to laugh as if what I said was a big joke. Admittedly, the foodstuffs provided are of good quality, and Jurgen can make wonders with the simplest of ingredients. Unfortunately, and absolutely regrettably, it does not last long enough and it take far too much time to cook. I wish there was another way. Wonder Woman broke me out of my train of thoughts, providing me an answer. 'I will talk to Batman about supplying you with vehicle, radio sets, and your field rations without a problem. However, the League will need to convene about supplying new weaponry.'

'I certainly agree that you'll need new guns.' Green Lantern II said, and I believe him. 'And I will argue it with Batman to make sure you get them.'

'As will I.' Wonder Woman added, almost like a vow. 'But please keep in mind that this will take us time, and it will be an outright fight just to give you that little more firepower.'

'Of course.' I said, trying to hide the edge of my voice with as much respect a possible. 'This is much more than I could ever wish for.' Now I'm sure they'll notice I'm taking the piss out fo them. 'I'll take my leave now.'

'Hold up.' Green Lantern II said, standing up to address me. 'I think I have an idea that'll get you are stuff sooner.'

'Please, do tell.' I said, which I, regretfully, naïvely believed this will be a Traki shoot. 'What do you have in mind?' And thus, I had invented a problem I really did not want to get involved in.

As all missions go, this one was no different. It appears that the criminal class has taken to establishing a "hideout" on the outskirts of town, "disguised" as an abandoned military compound of approximately five buildings. Normally, when Amberley has a suspicion, she would gather the necessary intelligence before planning an assault alongside the Winter Flats Arbites, en masse. That also involves me being put up in the firing line as well/ Since the "Starfire" incident, the arbites had carried with them a "hero worship" for myself—which I suspect to be Amberley's doing—thus it makes them more susceptible to my suggestions. Sufficed to say, I had earned myself a "place" amongst them as one of their own, and that works for me. I have another source of human shields to go to if I need it.

As for this operation, this may be tougher than I cared to admit, what with the only benefit I get from this mission is that I am in charge of the operation, thus, my chances at survival have increased significantly. Obviously, to keep it that way, I requested the assistance of the local arbites once Green Lantern confirmed enemy contact. From what I understood, they are in possessions of heavier weapons, which is bad for my health and continued existence.

To my disappointment, we were given a single platoon known as the "Special Weapons and Tactics," as our reinforcements. To be honest, I should have kept my expectations low as well, after all it was not like Winter Flats. Nonetheless, it was better than nothing, and they seemed somewhat competent. Perhaps I could exaggerate the threat to get more human shields?

'Ah, good evening Captain.' I said, addressing the obviously dressed CO*66, even though I was still unsure of the actual ranking scheme. Fortunately, the affirmative nod answered my question and proven my incredible luck, and with practiced politeness, I asked. 'I trust your men are ready to assault this is a large compound?'

'Ready whenever you Justice League fellas are.' He replied tersely, as if he didn't want to be here. To be fair, neither would I. 'What's the plan?'

Ah, frak. Now everyone's eyes are planted on me, including Green Lantern's and Wonder Woman's. I took another glance at the compound and "revealed" my practiced sigh. 'Jurgen.' I addressed my malodorous companion. 'Do you have a cuppa?'

'Right here commissar.' He dutifully replied, pouring a saucer and serving it. I took in the soothing taste*67, thanking him once again. I returned the cup, turning towards Green Lantern. 'Is it possible to provide the architecture plans of the entire complex?'

'Sure thing, boss-man.' Green Lantern smiled, doing what I asked. From a glance, I could tell that we simply do not have enough manpower to surround the area and go door-to-door. Then again, it also tells me that there is a small skeleton force and taking it would be an easy endeavour.

'Captain, if we are to launch an assault,' I said, pointing out the centre building possessing twelve men. 'how many men would you need to secure this building?'

'Depends, you want them taken alive?' He asked, his tone demanding an answer, of which I can guess what he would prefer. Dead. That is what I wished to tell him, it'll save more lives. However, I need to play nice to the Justice League if I am ever going to be able to secure those supplies for Amberley. Instead, I answered him honestly, with my best compromising tone. 'Preferably, I wished to take them in alive for interrogation purposes. However, I will not fault you or your men if they are unable to capture one if it'll risk your lives.'

That seemed to get his attention, as well as the heroes. If I am not mistaken, the Captain seemed to have breathed a sigh of relief, answering. 'Then it'll take less of my boys to hold down the warehouse.' Green Lantern and Wonder Woman were more pensive at the thought, but let it go. They seem more curious about my decisions if their silence was come to go by*68.

'That's good to know.' I said, returning to the map. 'Then, I suggest your men take the buildings surrounding the central. Afterwards, we can storm in to assist Green Lantern and Wonder Woman.'

'Sounds good to me.' The captain shrugged, as the plan, admittedly, wasn't that impressive. Then again, it'll work and it's practical. 'You won't find the boys complaining about it, and it's as simple a plan as anything.' He left to brief his platoon, leaving Jurgen and I with the heroes.

'I say you're off to a good start.' Wonder Woman said, sounding somewhat teasing. 'I wonder where you and Jurgen fit in?' As it so happened, Jurgen and I don't fit in anywhere, and that's just the way I like it. Unfortunately, I can't say that or else they would have no ground to stand on to argue for those supplies. I have to be involved somehow, therefore I suggested, 'I shall go where I am needed.'

'Oh?' Green Lantern said, looking rather curious. 'You aren't going to join us?' To what, hopelessly die due to lack of numbers? No thank you.

'Admittedly, I find that my own skills are lacking.' I said, admitting my passable skills in combat*69. 'As such, I feel that it would be better if we were acting as reinforcements, and be deployed as needed.'

'Hey now,' Green Lantern said, the faint hint of mirth in his tone, 'there's no need for you to downplay your abilities.'

'I agree with Lantern.' Wonder Woman added, much to my horror. 'You, Gunner, and the Inquisitor are accomplished warriors. 'You mean Jurgen and Amberley are accomplished. 'You three show honour and great bravery on the field.' If you say so, as long as I get those supplies, I'm happy to go along with anything you say. 'Now come, follow us, and take down the villains before us.'

As plans go, when in first contact with the enemy, this one worked surprisingly well. To my surprise, the criminal class here were less organized than I could ever had anticipated. I didn't think much of it then, though I suppose I really should have*70. I found that the criminal class here tend to be more erratic, borderline suicidal in some cases. I never really caught onto the differences as I was busy trying not to get shot by stray rounds. Sufficed it to say, I was really anticipating the quick resolution to the matter so I can go home and enjoy some tanna tea in peace.

'Commissar, the Green Lantern and Wonder Woman are requesting reinforcements.' My malodorous companion informed, his expression as plain as ever. My first thought was that of course they would call upon us, bloody spoilsports they were. Unfortunately, i was also wrong in that regard. 'The arbites Captain is also requesting reinforcements as well.'

Oh great, now I have to make a choice. Oh course, the choice was obvious, who's more likely to have more problems, he heroes or arbites? 'Vox Green Lantern and Wonder Woman my apologies.' I briskly ordered, already heading towards the captain. 'I believed that the captain requires my aid the most. Once I finish up there, I will attend to assist them.'

I made a trail as far as possible, away from the central building, and heading towards the captain's location. The minute I followed Jurgen in breaching the doors, it really wasn't anything unfamiliar to me. It was just another firefight, with the enemy manning heavy stubbers*71 trading shots with arbites stubguns. I just narrowly avoided getting nailed by said weapons, thankful that it was only the stupid hat that sacrificed itself on my behalf. I crawled over to the arbites captain, dirtying my great coat in the process.

'Captain,' I addressed him, in my best imperious commissarial tone. 'you requested reinforcements?'

'Was hoping for the Justice League!' He shouted, his disappointment thick in his tone. 'But you'll do! I could use some extra guns!' The arbites captain used a small mirror to show the situation. 'Damn thugs are popping out from a spider hole! Shooting them is a no-go, they got some sorta energy shield!' Oh great, of course they do. Where in all the Emperor's bloody knickers do they keep finding these things? 'We tried throwing grenades, but they either throw them back at us, or just shoot us, either way, we gotta hunker down.'

A stubber round ricocheted off the cover I was using, and much too close to my head for my comfort. 'Well, we'll just have to make do with what we have then Captain.' I shouted, trying to disguise the sarcasm in my voice with frustration. Thankfully, he seems to accept it as such. 'That's all and good kid, but I doubt that you would like gunfire roaring over your head!' I can't really blame him though, it really is a fair retort to say.

'What would you suggest we do to break he deadlock?' I said, trying to keep a level-tone that the Schola taught me.

'What you got in your hands? Paint guns?' He asked, which I initially believed was in utter disbelief and astonishment. 'Alright, try shooting them, see if that'll do anything to them!' He can't be serious, could he? That's suicide! Then again, what other options am I really left with?

'Jurgen!' I called out, earning his attention. 'Kindly lay down some suppressing fire on the heavy stubbers!'

'As the Emperor wills.' He dutifully said, resting the barrel on top of his piece of cover and fired away. Simultaneously, the Captain also ordered his men to do the same, despite the futility of the action. To my utter astonishment, the paint went through said energy shield, the payload splattering across the gunner's face. The criminal foolishly held down the trigger, swinging around and hitting his compatriots. In an instance, the SWAT troopers moved in quickly, dispatching threats as quickly as possible.

'Nice shot kid.' The SWAT Captain said grudgingly. I was about to correct him, when I noticed his gaze at Jurgen. To be honest, I was rather taken aback by the man. Most would ignore my faithful aide whenever possible, attributing his actions upon my unworthy self. I'm rather glad that Jurgen's getting the attention he deserves.

'Indeed Jurgen.' I said, deciding to add to the Captain's compliments. 'I would never have been able to make such an accurate shot.'

'Respectfully, sir, nothing doing.' He shrugged like he always did. I could never have asked for a finer soldier than him, and I greatly admire that quality. 'Should we go assist the Justice League with their problem?'

'Yes, I did promise them, didn't I?' I said, playing the pensive soldier. 'With your permission Captain, is it possible for you to spare a detachment of your men?'

'Yeah, no.' He said, nonchalant at the prospect that he may lose some more men. 'I got none to spare kid. Good luck.' Well, frak you too. At least, that was my initial reactions. Upon a second glance, he and his men are in no position to work as my human shield. I addressed him. 'Yes, I see that now. I apologize Captain, I thought I had more men.'

'Don't worry about it kid.' He said. 'Just go and get the Justice League here.'

I required no further "convincing," and forced myself towards the next battle ground. Unfortunately, the battle was being taken outside with a ridiculous detachment of xenos spilling from the building. Bluies, just like from the hidden manufactorum, and they all have plasma guns. Oh frak, Oh Emperor on high, what the ever living frak?! Now those plasma rounds were aimed at us! I took cover behind some conveniently discarded boxes, and I did the obvious and returned fire. It was really more out from habit than anything, and yes, those xenos are definitely laughing at me and Jurgen.

'Fix bayonets!' I ordered, readying my sword as he did so. Problem is, the Bluies are laying down fire at range. Smart frakkers. 'Contact the captain, ask him to provide us some kind of support fire if he has the men to spare!' I managed to spot more bluies coming from the other buildings that we sent squads to. The assault has utterly failed. For Emperor's sakes, why didn't they give us more men*72?

Suddenly, the plasma barrage went silent. 'Attention Terrans!' A bluie wearing ornate scarlet armour shouted, sounding almost like Beije*73 now that I thought about it. 'You have been bested by my forces! Do not throw away your lives for something so petty! Surrender yourselves to us, and we will ensure your safety and return to your families!' Has anyone ever fallen for that?

'As Green Lantern of Sector 2184!' Said man announced, pushing as much of his supposed authority into his tone. 'You are in violation of countless treaties and an assault against a green lantern, and you have the gull to demand we surrender?'

'I hold the power here, Green Lantern.' It said, almost tauntingly and almost regretful. Perhaps I was hearing something, but I definitely did hear something like regret. 'Surrender, and your men will be spared.' Silence was the response.

That doesn't sound right. I peered from cover, noticing how frozen the Justice League were. Turning to the xenos, they too were frozen. I attempted to address Jurgen, but he made no response. Frozen! I truly thought I was going insane, when I heard a familiar sound of shoes tapping through a hallway. Oh Emperor, not this again!

'Commissar Ciaphas Cain.' The daemon drawled with a very unpleasant grin. 'I trust you have been adjusting to the conditions of your new workplace?'

'Oh, just dandy,' I retorted, levelling the paint gun at its head, 'and I'm sure Emeli is laughing at me right now.' As well as engaging in other debauch actions I'm sure it enjoys. 'So what's the point of keeping us in this accursed world Daemon? To turn us mad?' I'm not entirely sure why I'm conversing with a daemon, but I had enough frustrations to just not care.

'I assure you, Commissar Cain, my employers have need of your skills, and those of your compatriots.' It insisted, still managing to maintain that even tone. 'Nonetheless, my employers believe you and your allies had enough time to "settle in" that I am here to inform you that the time is coming.'

'What time?' I demanded, compressing the trigger only for the ball to harmlessly go through it. 'Speak plainly daemon!' It didn't say anything for a while, as if it were asking its masters for directions.

'I am at liberty to explain to you some of the finer details.' It finally revealed, turning to Jurgen. To my surprise, Jurgen was immediately unfrozen, and reacted just as swiftly. Unfortunately, the efforts were in vain and he had expended all his ammunition. 'Now that you two are quite finished, allow me to properly explain.'

'Commissar?' Jurgen asked, his uncertainty reflecting mine. I gave him a reassuring nod. 'We can always relay it to the Inquisitor.'

'At this moment, it is simply the precursor to an invasion.' It said pensively. 'This invasion would be one that was only felt once before by only certain nations,' It let out a breath, 'an existential threat.' So, it's very much business as usual then.

'Yes, I can see it quite clearly.' I retorted, gesturing at the bluies. The daemon let out an unsettling chuckle, probably its equivalent to laughter. 'Ah yes, the Traugva. They are insignificant. Let them be, and they'll leave this world alone. The true enemy is much more devious in comparison. Secretive, stealthy, and utterly malignant. They are an evil that must be stopped.' To be honest, I really should have figured it out, but I was too busy staring at the armour the bluie commander was wearing. The daemon broke me from my concentration with a simple, ominous warning because of course it had too. 'I suggest that you gather your confederates and get to work immediately. Failure to do so would see the world's destruction, and it is not in the best interests of my employers to see it as such.'

'Then why do they not deal with it themselves?' I hotly retorted. 'If your employers are as all powerful as you had subtly suggested, why get us involved?'

'Simple.' The daemon said, smirking. 'Your reputation precedes you, as your actions tonight will soon ensure.'

'I beg your pardon?' I remarked, unable to believe that some higher daemon would ever enlist my worthless assistance because of my fraudulent reputation. 'Well, I mean no offence to your employers.' That's a load of groxshit, obviously. 'But they are all daft if they believe my presence could ever change a thing, let alone save an entire planet or the Imperium at large*74.'

'I disagree.' The daemon said, turning towards the bluie. 'If you are determined to force the Traugva to surrender, defeat the commander in single combat. Do keep in mind, while most seem to lack any close-quarters combat skills, this one is decent in the ways of the sword. Good luck.'

'Wait,' I said, getting its attention again, 'you are telling me I have to break from cover, shout at it and issue a challenge? And they won't shoot me?'

'If there is one thing you must know about Commander Shas'O Bor'kan Sioah,' it said, pensively. 'she has a penchant for the over dramatics and honour. Just act as banally as possible, and you will earn the Traugva's attention.'

'Is there no other way?' I asked, uncomfortable of the aspect of earning a Tau's attention and duelling in single combat. The daemon remarked. 'As long as you are comfortable hunkering down for hours with the potential of death exponentially increasing, then yes, of course you have another option.'

'This isn't what I call "another option," daemon.' I growled, swinging my sword to once again see it go through it. It rolled its eyes and issued. 'Then allow me to remove the illusion of free will and make it for you. You will go out there, act like a cartoonish villain in the alien's mind, and go home to sleep.' Oh, I have half a mind to try to kill it, but reality seemed to return back to us and the bluies, Justice League, and the arbites were looking at us. With no other choice, I stood on top of the box.

'Attention Xenos,' I bellowed from my elevated position. The Tau commander's attention was now on me. 'I am Commissar Ciaphas Cain of the Justice League! I cannot allow your incursion to continue any further, nor will we surrender willingly, especially to an enemy force! I demand a duel for the fate of my men! Win, and we will surrender! Lose, then you will surrender! What say you, foul alien!' Emperor, please kill me now. I don't care how you'll kill me, just kill me.

'Foolish human!' It said—remarkably—the bloody xenos is smiling! Do they not understand the concept of correct facial emotions*75? 'Very well, for I, Shas'O For'kan Sioah shall honour your request! Come, face me in single combat to determine the fate of our soldiers!' Emperor please, smite me.

I tried to look proud, using my parade-ground strut to mask my sheer self-disappointment. The Green Lantern spoke up. 'You can't be-'

'Don't interfere Green Lantern.' The bluie ordered. 'As much as I respect your corps, this is between true warriors of our people. Stay out of this or the duel is for naught and all will suffer!'

The moment the xenos drew her power sword, I knew I was in trouble. What's this thing supposed to do with that? Well then, here goes nothing I suppose. The xenos began circling me, as did I, gazing me for my numerous openings*76. She immediately rushed me, sword aiming to harpoon me. I deflected the test blow, using the pommel as a knuckle duster. To my surprise, the hit connected. The alien recoiled, still smiling and went back at me again. I had to backpedal, gain some distance before her power sword could come down upon my unprotected head. The blade lodged itself into the pavement. In fact, it appears she's pretending it was stuck! As if I'll fall for that!

She dropped the act, and re-levelled her blade, which I took advantage of the momentary readjustment. I tested a few simple strikes, which she obviously blocked, and retaliated with a quick swipe aimed at my gut. I jumped back, creating space and swung my blade. She was fast, and swung her sword quickly. To my surprise, our edges met, and instead of what I expected, something else happened. I spotted the big flaw in my weapon, I felt the blow vibrate down my arm! I saw the indent from the xenos sword imprint onto my weapon! I hid my fear when sparks started to fly out from it! That isn't what is supposed to happen, and the xenos knows it too!

'Do you even maintain your sword?' She said, a toothy grin evidently sneering at me. The Tau commander rushed me, and her objective is self explanatory. I, for one, do not trust my weapon enough for any further combat. I did what I could to deflect the blows, even more to outright avoid them. Unfortunately, it didn't take long until I tripped over my own feet in order to narrowly avoid the swipe that would have taken off my scalp. She followed up by swinging down with her blade, smashing into mine and cutting it in two*77.

The Tau levelled her sword at me, a smile on her face. 'Yield!' She demanded, lowering her guard. I looked to what remains of my sword, seeing it spark violently. I retorted, 'I could say the same to you, xenos!'

'Excuse me?' She said, bewildered as the alien should be. I would be too if our positions were reversed. 'Your "weapon" is broken.' I slapped the power sword, surprising the xenos, and jammed the power sword electrical sparks into her neck. The Tau screamed, its muscles tightening and loosening until she dropped like a bodybag. She was still breathing, much to my surprise, and I discarded the useless sword. I levelled my paint gun, ordering, 'I believe we were discussing terms of surrender?'

The bluie started crying, actually crying, and shouted, 'Lay down your arms! I yield!'

During that time, I took an analysis at my broken sword, finding it to be warped at the point of impact. If that xenos put more strength into that swing, she would have cut all the way through and then some. I couldn't believe my luck! I've been saved once again, and by the vary equipment I would disparage. It's sacrifice wouldn't be forgotten, especially when Amberley and I get our requisitions. In fact, I have no doubts that Green Lantern and Wonder Woman would argue the need for higher quality weapons because of this display. Perhaps they'll give back my chainsword and lasgun*78.

'I gotta say kid,' Green Lantern said, after addressing the arbites captain, 'you got a lot of guts. Are all commissars like you?'

'I would argue a lot better than I.' I replied as modestly as I could. 'I'm afraid my own skills are mediocre, especially with the lost of my sword.'

'No need for such humility Commissar.' Wonder Woman said, picking up a piece of the sword. 'You kept fighting, especially when you were disadvantaged from the start. A mark of a true warrior, as I always figured.' She turned to Jurgen. 'And I heard the captain sing your praises Gunner.'

'Just doing my duty ma'am.' Jurgen said, voice laced with his predictable nonchalance. Green Lantern and Wonder Woman seemed to smile at one another, in approval. Wonderful, my mission is complete for sure!

—FOOTNOTES—

58. Not a daemon.

59. See The Traitor's Hand and Choose Your Enemies.

60. According to the calendar, it was July 4th, 2010. A holiday known as "Independence Day" by the local where they celebrate the anniversary of their treasonous revolt against the "British Empire." From what I could gather, these celebrations usually involve fireworks and barbecues, and people are encouraged to be as obnoxious and as loud as possible. For some reason, they have yet to pass the threshold when in comparison to a pleasure world.

61. Correction, League Members Only. Once again, Ciaphas Cain demonstrates his penchant to either oversimplify, unspecify, or outright ignore the proper translations. That, or he simply forgot since the incident.

62. Rude.

63. The Public Relations Officer is an occupation that relies upon manipulating the media, which is remarkably independent of the state, to promote Justice League values. In all honesty, the Officer is remarkably gifted at her job.

64. It has come to my attention that I have not elaborated what the "Amazon" are. The Amazons are a race of "warrior woman" that live on the island of Themyscira. Fact of the matter is, they seem to have a reliance on magic, though I am not certain if it is warp influenced or not. Furthermore, these Amazons seem to be, practically, immortal. How this relates to Wonder Woman smiling in approval, I can only provide a hypothesis. I believe that Wonder Woman is pleased by the fact that I am "taking control" as it were, and that it isn't a male that is in command. Furthermore, seeing that the Justice League is male dominated, she feels a sense of disgruntlement and inferiority, requiring her to act more and show more command than most, such as Shazam.

65. A tablet is a primitive, civilian device that allows for the presentation of videos, near-instantaneous communications through "texts," and unlimited access to the "internet."

66. Commanding Officer, the highest ranking commissioned officer trained to lead his troop.

67. Soothing? Once again, I must address that Tanna tea is an acquired taste and not for everyone.

68. From all accounts, they were hiding their opinions behind pensive looks akin to those of a "Military Attaché." The purpose of a Military Attaché is a military expert attached to a diplomatic mission. In this case, they wish to know what strategies and tactics we would use to better inform themselves of our intentions, doctrine, and personal abilities. What was the trope in the old Terran "holodramas?" Fighting to prove your good intentions? How utterly stupid!

69. To this day, Cain still downplays his achievements.

70. I sincerely doubt it.

71. An exaggeration. The After Action Reports written by SWAT Captain Henderson referred to the weapons as a M249 Squad Automatic Weapon. A military squad-level weapon designed to be the squad's main source of firepower.

72. It has been assumed, however erroneously, that with Justice League presence that a single platoon would be more than sufficient to handle mere criminals. If it were simply criminals, I would agree with such assessments, to an extent. I found that having more in reserve is quite beneficial, as well as possessing overwhelming firepower.

73. Commissar Tomas Beije was one of Cain's Schola colleagues, prior to his appointment to the Tallarn 229th. As Cain so eloquently puts it, Beije is "as pious and self-righteous as he was, always whining on about the grace of the Emperor or running to the proctors with tales of the minor infractions of other students."

74. Allow me to list the number of saved planets that proves Ciaphas Cain wrong. Desolatia, Keffia, Perlia (twice!), Slawkenberg, Interitus Prime, Viridia and Viridia Secundus, Sanguia, Archipelaga, Gravalax, Periremunda, Kastafore, Lentonia, Nusquam Fundumentibus, Quadravidia. That's just to name a few.

75. More like, you actually gave her an opportunity to fulfill one of her fantasies.

76. I give up. We all know just how superb Cain is with a chainsword and how improbable his aiming skills are.

77. Now, before anyone goes screaming, the circumstances of Cain's defeat is understandable. Upon further examination of the Tau power sword, it comes to no surprise that Cain lost the duel. The Tau power sword is a weapon of war, Cain's sword is an oversized shock baton. The Tau power sword vibrates at a frequency that can warp metals, Cain's sword does not have such a function. Furthermore, the sword has proven itself faulty, unable to properly defend Cain from enemy blows, and I would be skeptical of its ability to launch an offensive. Therefore, his only reasonable action is to go on the defensive for as long as possible, reacting to the enemy and allowing them to dictate his actions. He's been disadvantaged from the start. If it were his chainsword, the fight would have gone much differently.

78. Nope.