Ahhh, tonight was the school dance, where the air is filler with the smell of love, romance and the inevitable pain of the single; one of which is Lorimer Smith; a proudly single teenager at school staring at his little brother who cares a bit too much about a date for the big night
"So, how's your quest for a date with Jessica?" Asked Lorimer bluntly as he drank from a cup of strawberry juice he snuck in. Morty only replied with a depressed groan as he drooped "thought so"
"She's never gonna date me" said Morty, drooping in depression
"How about you ask her first? Maybe she's into your type" said Lorimer calmly as he sipped his strawberry juice "i mean, it's not impossible; florida exists"
"But what if people might make fun of me" said Morty frowning before pointing at Lorimer angrily "and you can't give me relationship advice, you've never been in a relationship too"
"I'm single by choice." Replied Lorimer with a frown as he crossed his arms after putting down the glass of juice in his hand "anyone who's interested in me either has brain damage or a plethora of mental illnesses...or maybe I'm just exaggerating the dangers of social contact, or..."
Lorimer took a pregnant pause, making Morty stare at him in confusion as he thought about social contact and it's implications
"Nope, definitely mental illnesses" deadpanned Lorimer
"You're not helping" said Morty, scowling at his older brother
"Bold of your to assume I was trying to help" deadpanned Lorimer "so let's leave it at that", then he just walked away slowly, leaving a depressed Morty to deal with his...problems
_-_-_
At the Smith house kitchen
"Eh, Try not to worry about it, Morty. You're a good kid" said Jerry with a smile as he made a sandwich "and there's not a premium on that right now, but you'll be getting girls sometime after Brad's out of shape."
"You're missing the point, Dad. I don't want girls, I want Jessica" said Morty as he played with a cookie in sadness
"Well, I remember feeling that way about a lady called your mom-" said Jerry with a smile before Lorimer interrupted him
"Yeah, if only she had more of a choice" said Lorimer as he entered the kitchen and started looking through the cabinets "are there any pistachios in here?"
"Hey! What you mean 'if she had a choice'?" Said Jerry with a frown "we love each other!"
"Jerry, what people call love is just a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard and then fades away. I mean, I barely have a reason to care and I noticed that Beth is looking for a door" said Rick calmly as he poured a drink into a glass
"Hey! My marriage is fine, thank you* said Jerry angrily
"As fine as the drug will keep it. For all I know, you could start stabbing each other without it" said Lorimer in frustration as he looked for the pistachios "seriously! Where the heck are those pistachios?! I specifically asked for them!"
"Lorimer, don't talk about our parents like that"
"One way or another, he's gonna forget what I said" said Lorimer with a frown
Rick turned to Morty and spoke "Morty, love only ends in a failing relationship, I did it, your parents are gonna do it. Break the cycle, Morty. Rise above; focus on science" then Rick left the kitchen with a drink in hand
"Yes!" Yelled Lorimer in a very loud voice as he finally found the pistachios "finally, pistachios. I really need to plant some of these some day"
"*sigh* Alright. Well, I'm gonna go get dressed for the dance" said Morty, drooping as he walked away
"Good, I'm going to my room to watch some cartoons with the door locked with a password and all sounds muffled" said Lorimer, smiling as he ate a pistachio "delicious. if anyone needs me, the password to the door is the name of the number 1 rated salesman 1997. It's up to you to learn time travel to find out who that is. Byeee"
"Now wait a second" said Jerry angrily as he stopped Lorimer in his tracks "what was that about a drug?"
Lorimer stared at Jerry silently for a few seconds, Jerry was determined to know and trying to avoid saying anything would be suspicious. Lorimer sighed in 'why not'
"Fine, you and Mom got drugged to fall in love."
"What?...how-"
"I checked you and Mom's blood and organs one day and I stumbled upon this discovery" said Lorimer calmly. Noticing the look on Jerry's face, Lorimer continued "don't ask why I was doing it, it's private"
"And WE don't get privacy?!" Asked Jerry angrily "that's it, I'm telling your Mom"
"That sounds like something a 6 year old would say. Face it, Jerry, I have a hundred ways to distract her and a thousand more ways to get it out of her memory and I lack the morals needed to stop me from using them" said Lorimer with a frown
Jerry glared at Lorimer before slowly realizing something "Did you just call me Jerry?"
Lorimer, realizing he slipped up, decided to roll with it and erase Jerry's memory later when he had the chance
"I can't call you Dad if Mom never actually liked you" said Lorimer trying to sound smug "so how about you put your money where your mouth is and show me that 'fine marriage'"
Jerry, thankfully, fell for the taunt and quickly made his way to Beth. Disaster averted!
_-_-_
"So, you're saying that me and your dad have been drugged to love each other by someone other than Jerry" said Beth, sitting down completely stiff "and our entire marriage was probably orchestrated as well?"
"Pretty much it" deadpanned Lorimer
"Uhh so, do you still love me?" Asked Jerry very very nervously "wait, do I even love you?"
"I don't know" said Beth as the horror started catching up to her "do I love you? Do I love our kids? Is it all just the drug? WHO AM I?!"
"Mom, just calm down. Having an existential crisis won't help" said Lorimer softly, trying to calm his mother down "I can get you-"
"Can you undo it?" Asked Beth firmly
"Uhhh" Lorimer failed to pull out a proper answer as he stared at his mother's desperate face
"Can you undo it" this time it was Jerry
"...yes" said Lorimer slowly
"We have to do it, now" said Beth, sounding like a mad man before her phone started ringing
"Are you gonna-" Lorimer couldn't finish the sentence before Beth smashed her phone on the table "okay, let's go to my room"
Beth made it to Lorimer's room at speeds that make Usain bolt look like a grandma in a wheelchair
What the heck did he get himself into?!
_-_-_
"I went through all the preparation" said Lorimer calmly "everything should be set"
In Lorimer's room, Beth and Jerry were strapped to two different beds and had an odd helmet on
"Are there any side effects-"
"Oh shut up, Jerry!" Yelled Beth angrily as Jerry whimpered in fear
"Just one more thing; there are parts in your brain that are being heavily suppressed. Should I release-"
"Do it, unlock everything" said Beth in a crazy tone
Lorimer just silently did as ordered. He made sure he could supress his mother's brain again if need be
Lorimer calmly watched the process happen. There were no flashy lights, no louds sounds, just silence until it ended
"Beth?" Jerry asked as he saw Beth get up silently
"Mom?" Asked Lorimer as Beth just walked out of the room silently
The two followed her to wherever she was going, it was the kitchen
"Beth-"
"Shut up" said Beth in a freezing cold tone as she poured herself a glass of wine
"Beth, c'mon" said Jerry as he approached Beth from behind "I know you think of me differently but-"
Jerry didn't finish that sentence nor would he ever finish a sentence again. Beth stabbed him through the eye and into the brain using a kitchen knife. She didn't even bother to turn around to her husband's corpse
Lorimer stared at the corpse silently. What has he done? He didn't care about Jerry, to him he was still that comic relief cartoon character, but Beth meant more to him. Seeing her murder her own husband nonchalantly was worrying
"Don't worry, I'm not gonna do that to you, or Summer or Morty or Dad" said Beth calmly before a smile made it's way unto her face "part of me is really upset that he's dead, really really upset, so upset I really wanna cry; but another part is just like 'yes! Finally! That pathetic mosquito is finally gone! nothing is holding me back now' aah it feels good!"
It's official, he created a monster, an insane one
"Mom, maybe you should calm down a little" said Lorimer with a nervous smile
"You're right, I should celebrate...or mourn...mourbrate? Celemourn? Eh, you know what I mean" said Beth with a happy smile
Then, all of a sudden, an alarm rang through the house
"PNO9! PNO9!" the alarm said
"TODAY?! REALLY?!" Yelled Lorimer angrily
"What's that alarm?" Asked Beth with genuine concern
"Ugh, it's the alarm for when SOMEONE causes a zombie apocalypse-esque event" said Lorimer angrily "we need to find Rick"
"I'm coming too" said Beth excitedly
Lorimer was about to stop her before realizing that she was different now "okay. House, clean up Jerry's corpse and grant Summer access to everything except overriding my commands"
And then they ran by the living room
"Summer, you control the house now. Ask it for a manual and if you see anything that looks mutated, kill it. Byeee" said Lorimer as he ran out the door
"Wait" said Beth "I need a better weapon. A kitchen knife is good, but-"
Lorimer groaned before getting Beth a weapon
_-_-_
"I gotta say, Lulu" said Beth happy as she held her new sword "you've got taste"
The two were now riding a Griffin to Rick and Morty.
"I use it for anime conventions" said Lorimer trying to be calm "makes dealing with furries much easier."
"Found them!" Said Beth in a serious, relieved, tone
"The furries or our family?" Asked Lorimer raising a brow
"Dad and your brother"
And with a nod, the two headed towards Rick and Morty, they were currently on a tall building surrounded by mutated people
"You really out did yourself this time, Rick" said Lorimer, disappointment clear in his voice "it's like someone lined up all the genes of some random animals like a piano and started playing 30 versions of megalovania at the same time"
The Griffin that brought Lorimer and Beth quickly went back to the Smith house
"Please. it's his fault" said Rick pointing at Morty with a frown on his face "he's the one that wanted to get laid"
"Hey! Don't say that about my son" said Beth, crossing her arms
Rick glared at Lorimer which led to the next minute being dedicated to explaining everything
"You really out did yourself" said Rick sarcastically
"At least I didn't cause the apocalypse! I'm the one who has a cure here!" Said Lorimer angrily as he held a bottle of liquid
"Hey! Stop fighting!" Said Beth angrily "we're about to die
The two groaned before Lorimer readied the cure to be fired and Rick got ready in case it fails
"Okay, everyone. Let's-" said Lorimer before the cure was knocked out of his hand by a rock "and they learned to throw stuff. F*k"
Beth quickly sliced the rock throwing cronenberg with ease
"Looks like we have to go with plan B" said Rick "we have to abandon this world"
"What do you mean abandon?" Asked Beth angrily as she slashed another cronenberg "we're not abandoning anything"
"No one's gonna want to live in the aftermath" said Rick "we need to leave"
Beth and Rick argued as the cronenbergs got closer and closer. Morty was terrified.
Lorimer cursed inwardly, he didn't have enough time to finish another cure and he didn't know if Summer was alive or not so the house could be drowning in cronenbergs. Lorimer knew what he had to do. He had to make the plot happen, and that couldn't happen with his Mom here
"I'll make sure you-" said Beth as she was about to attack Rick, but then she died, she wasn't able to even register who killed her. A large vine stabbed her through the head, it was Lorimer's arm transformed
"Get out of here, now!" Yelled Lorimer and Rick did so
They barely made it to another dimension where Rick and Morty died in a small explosion unseen by anyone. The same explosion paralyzed Lorimer which led to our Lorimer thoroughly getting rid of the new Lorimer's existence and finally...it was a world where Beth was never modified.
Now, Lorimer had to live with a new mother, but hey, at least his mother soul will always be with him
Literally. He kept the mind of his Beth with him in a capsule
Lorimer really hated living in this world
_-_-_
This chapter feels bad, tell me what you think
Toodles.