In the week since leaving Stillwater, Tim was still quite rattled from the encounter. He kept telling himself that he was being crazy, that the chances of his paternity being anything other than what he thought they were were next to zero, but the thought would not leave him alone. There was now a real person behind his father's crazy accusations. And Tim did not know how to get passed that.
Thankfully, the team didn't seem to notice his uneasiness, or if they did, they must have assumed he was just rattled by the fact that his parents and Gibbs knew each other. He didn't get so lucky with his sister though. She'd called him earlier in the day, and noticed something was bothering him, which led to her showing up at his place with takeout.
"You didn't have to do this, Sarah. I told you on the phone that I'm fine," Tim said as he started pulling containers of Chinese food from the bag.
"You lied on the phone," Sarah corrected.
Tim sighed and helped himself to some food. When they both had what they wanted, they went and sat down in the dining room.
"So, what's going on?" Sarah asked as they started eating.
"Nothing. It's no big deal," Tim lied. The more he sat with it, the more of a big deal it became, but he wasn't sure he should share all this with Sarah. He wasn't sure she'd understand, or that it wouldn't upset her if she did.
"Liar. I can see that it's eating at you. Tell me. You know I won't stop nagging you until you do," Sarah said with a smirk.
Tim snorted. That was certainly true. His sister had an uncanny ability to nag him until he finally broke down. "Alright, just try not to overreact about it."
"Well, that certainly bodes well." Sarah said sarcastically.
Tim explained to Sarah what happened in Stillwater. He didn't tell her that he was questioning his paternity, but he told her what he'd learned from Gibbs and his father.
Sarah was flabbergasted. She never imagined this when she realized something was up with her brother, but she could certainly see why this troubled h. "Whoa! Agent Gibbs actually knows Mom and Dad? He dated Mom? Okay, I can see that freaking you out."
"Yeah. I mean, that alone left me uneasy, but I think I would've gotten over relatively quickly. It's possible implications that are freaking me out. Mom was dating Dad and Gibbs pretty much at the same time," Tim explained.
Sarah nodded. "Yeah. I guess we know part of why Dad was so crazy."
"Sarah, I'm no longer a hundred percent sure he was crazy," Tim said.
It didn't take Sarah long to figure out what her brother was getting at, and if she was being honest about it, it wasn't all that shocking that he'd question it. This had been a topic of contention his entire life. She was honestly surprised this was the first time he questioned it. "You think your boss is your father?"
"No, I'm not saying that, and even hearing you say the words makes me think the idea is crazy, but I can't ignore the fact that it's possible," Tim said. He had really tried to ignore that fact by telling himself that the possibility was slim, but it wasn't working.
"Since you think it is possible, I assume you've done the math," Sarah said.
"Yeah, not that I really needed to. Mom's always been vocal about how her love story with Dad in high school is how I was conceived. She just neglected to mention that that so called love story included another guy," Tim said bitterly.
"Mom has always lived in her own fantasy world," Sarah said.
"Sarah, you're not really reacting the way I expected. Is it because you think the idea of Gibbs possibly being my father is as crazy as when Dad kept saying it?" Tim asked. He would expect his sister to be a little more freaked out, maybe even angry about even the remote possibility that they might have different fathers.
"I assume you mean because I'm not freaking out. I'm not freaking out because it's something we've both heard all our lives, and it doesn't really affect me, except for how it affects you. What, am I supposed to feel differently about you because we may not have the same father? Please. You're still my brother. That doesn't change because there's a slight chance you may have a different father. Hell, it wouldn't change we didn't share either parent," Sarah said. Tim was her brother. Blood didn't factor into that. Sure, it was a little weird to think about the fact that they might have different paternities, but if Sarah was being honest with herself, she couldn't deny that there was a part of her that always questioned that just slightly from time to time. She never said anything to Tim because he didn't seem to question it at all, and it didn't matter. It literally made no difference, at least not then. Now, it might make some difference for Tim since he knew Gibbs, but it still made no real difference to Sarah one way or the other.
"Thanks. Sarah, I could never forgive Mom if it's true, not ever," Tim said seriously.
Sarah nodded. She knew that, and she didn't blame Tim for it. Their father had put Tim through Hell his entire life. He treated him like dirt. Their mother had never lifted a finger to stop it, and that was bad enough if the man was Tim's father. It became much worse if he wasn't. It meant that their mother let him think his own father hated him, instead of giving him a father that probably would've treated him a lot differently. "Yeah, I know."
"If Gibbs is my father, there's no doubt in my mind, even back then, that Gibbs would've stepped up. He wouldn't have abandoned me. He wouldn't have let Dad treat me like that. And I can't forgive Mom if she took that from me," Tim said. His relationship with his mother was essentially non-existent right now, but he didn't hate her. If he found out she lied about who his father was, he would hate her for it.
"I know," Sarah repeated.
Tim groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't know why I'm thinking about this. It's probably not true, right?"
Sarah could tell her brother was looking for a way to believe this was crazy. She was sure it wasn't because he didn't want Gibbs to be his father. He'd just spoken very highly of the man. But he knew it would change a lot, and that likely scared him. He'd already mentioned how it would change how he saw their mother, and it would also change his relationship with Gibbs permanently. Maybe a part of him was also reluctant because he hoped someone besides the SOB they called their father was in fact his father, and he was afraid of finding out differently. "Tim, even if I told you that I thought the chances were next to zero, and for the record, I think they're quite a bit higher than that, it wouldn't matter. This is going to eat at you until you know for certain."
Tim looked down at his hands. He couldn't deny that. This had been on his mind for nearly a week, and it wouldn't go away no matter how much he tried to convince himself it wasn't true.
"Do you think Agent Gibbs has suspected anything?" Sarah asked.
"I don't know. You never know what Gibbs is thinking. If it's a possibility, I'm sure he has thought about it. He hasn't mentioned anything to me though," Tim told her.
"Maybe he's torturing himself with this as much as you are. I think you should talk to him about it. Ask him if it's possible," Sarah said. He could also ask their mother, but Sarah didn't know how effective that would be. If it was true, their mother had lied about it for thirty years. She wasn't likely to stop lying now.
"I…I don't know if that's a good idea. It's probably not true, and if that's the case, talking to Gibbs will only make things awkward around the office," Tim said.
"And looking at him every day and wondering if he's your father won't make things awkward?" Sarah asked.
Tim bit his lip, not having an answer to that.
"I'm pretty sure some awkwardness is in your future no matter what, but you can't keep going on like this. It will drive you insane. You have to do something. You clearly need to know. Your only other option is to go to Mom and Dad," Sarah said.
Tim snorted in response. There was no part of him willing to do that. He couldn't trust either of them to be honest with him, and he didn't want to talk to them anyway.
"Yeah, that's what I thought. You have to talk to Gibbs," she said.
"I know," Tim finally relented after a minute. There was no way around it. Sarah was right, he couldn't go on like this. He had to know, and Gibbs was the only one he trusted to be honest with him. He would talk to him. He would do so tonight.