Welcome back to another chapter of RWBY Across the Multiverse. Don't have much else to say. Now let's get to it. And for this chapters disclaimer, Tyrian!
Tyrian: The following is a fan-based parody. Hellsing Ultimate is owned by Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse and licensed by Geneon, Madman Entertainment, Manga Entertainment and Funimation. RWBY is owned by Rooster Teeth Productions. Please support the official release... ya Protestant fuckbuckets.
Classical music plays in the background as Winter pressed a button on her phone. Ozpin standing next to her.
"Hello, Alucard. How was your mission in Japan?"
"Eh. I'd say ninety-nine..."
Elsewhere, a zombie banged itself against a metal gate somewhere.
"...point nine percent done. 'Sup, bitch?"
"I don't know what I'm more upset about." Weiss says with narrowed eyes. "The fact that he didn't finish his job, or that he called my sister a bitch."
"I'm more surprised by the fact that you're cursing, Weiss." Yang says.
"...To be honest, I'm surprised myself." Weiss says after a pause. "For some reason, it feels as if my inhibitions have been suppressed."
"...Huh." Yang says. "Weird."
Unknown to anyone, Blaze hides a smirk.
"I need to talk to you about some important guests coming today."
"Are they hookers?"
"No."
"And like that you've lost me."
"Someone needs to get his priorities straight." Blake says with a look of disgust.
"They're our financial suppliers."
"Oh, man! They have to hate us!"
"Gee, I wonder why." Jaune says sarcastically.
"They do. That's why they cancelled our budget."
"Ooh, that's bad. We need that, right? Ozpin, we need that, right?"
"Yes; very important." Ozpin says with a grin.
"Thank you, Ozpin."
"Of course, sir."
"After everything that's happened to us, it's kinda weird seeing Qrow and Ozpin act like this." Yang says.
"Yes, the irony is not lost to me." Ozpin says with a sigh.
"Over the last couple of years, we've had some... expensive claims."
"Like what?"
"First off - property damage."
Quick scene change to masses fleeing from burning buildings
"Good times." Alucard says nostalgically.
"Dozens of noise complaints."
"Sorry! I can't hear you!" Alucard shouts over the heavy metal he was blasting in the background.
"Dick." Jaune says.
"Jaune..." Ruby says in a warning tone.
"This Qrow, not ours!" Jaune says quickly.
"Killing at least a dozen innocent people."
"Oh, so did Anthony Hopkins, and he got a fucking Oscar for it!"
"Okay, who and what?" Oscar asks.
"Anthony Hopkins is an actor." Blaze says. "He won an award for his performance in a movie called Silence of the Lambs."
"And the whole killing people thing?" Yang asks.
"His character in the movie, Hannibal Lecter was a cannibalistic serial killer." Blaze says.
"THE FUCK?!" The heroes exclaim.
"...Sounds like my kind of movie." Cinder thinks with a grin.
"And... all of the sexual harassment."
"...I'm not apologizing."
"You should." Ruby says with a pout.
"Listen, I know this is asking a lot, but..."
"Buuut...?"
"I want you to keep yourself locked in the basement until all of them are gone!"
"...I get the distinct impression you're embarrassed of me."
"Oh do you?" Weiss asks rhetorically.
"Alucard..." Winter says with a warning tone.
"I'm gonna go with nooo."
"This is important and I don't need you causing another scene!
"I don't have to take this! I'm going for a walk."
"Bad idea." Blake says. "We've seen what he does when he takes walks."
"No, you don't!"
"Oh, what are you going to do? Grab that guy who can stop me? What was his name? Michael McDoesn'texist?"
"Damn, another good one!" Yang and Cinder say before glaring at one another.
Winter sighs "...What do you want?"
"What~?" Alucard says cheekily.
"What... do I need to give you... to keep you down here for the evening?"
"I'm going to need a new gun. Also one for the police girl."
"But I already have a gun." Velvet says over the intercom.
"Get that bitch a cannon! Bitches love cannons."
"That sound like it should be on a T-shirt." Yang says with a grin.
"I'd buy it." Ruby says.
"No need." Blaze says.
The young god snaps his fingers. A T-shirt then appears right above Ruby with that very phrase.
Ruby grabs the shirt and grins. "Awesome."
Weiss covers her face with her hand as she shakes her head. "Of course."
"Anything else?"
"A 70-inch... plasma widescreen TV."
"Really?"
"With Netflix."
"Heh. Man's an extortionist." Roman says with a grin.
Neo nods her head with a grin.
"Should it also be 3-D?"
"NO! That's a stupid fucking gimmick and everyone knows it!"
Everyone nods their heads in agreement with Alucard's statement.
[Cue Title sequence]
"That song's starting to grow on me." Yang says.
"Something tells me Nora would try to download it for her Scroll." Jaune says.
With Alucard bought off and safely shut away in his room, Winter sits at the head of a long oval-shaped table with the people who help run the Hellsing Organization.
"Hello, gentlemen. Thank you very much for accepting my invitation."
"Well, considering the direness of your financial security, we thought it was the least we could do."
"Ironwood?!" The heroes exclaims.
"Well, looks like James is more sound minded here than ours." Ozpin says.
"Well, let's hope this one doesn't try to nuke an entire city." Oscar thinks snidely.
"Now before we begin, I was under the impression our budget was handled directly by the Queen."
"Oh, it is. However, we're having a distinctly difficult time justifying some of these expenses."
"Hey look, it's Professor Oobleck." Ruby says.
"Doctor!" The former Beacon students say.
"Most of them under the name... "Alucard"..."
Winter takes a deep breath. "...Continue."
"For example - some of them were frankly labeled, "Entertainment."
"Entertainment?"
"Quite. Like in my report: £20,000 for a... "Candi."
"That's "Candi" with an "I", by the way."
"...What?" Ruby asks.
"From what I know, I believe they are referring to what is known as a stripper." Penny says innocently with a head tilt.
"Oh." Ruby says. She then blinks as her face switches to a look of realization. "Oooooh. ...Gross."
"I don't even wanna ask how you know that, Penny." Weiss says.
"I see." Winter says smiling sweetly, but internally raging.
"Not to mention the priceless antique car. I believe the note on the claim was: "I thought I could paint it red, but I couldn't find enough goats. So I scrapped it."
"So that's why we found my father's car covered in goat blood and rammed into a Dairy Queen."
"Sick." Blake says with a look of disgust.
"Oh yes, and then there's also the Dairy Queen, sitting at about £95,000-"
"Ugh. Boooring!" Yang says.
"I would do fucking anything right now to get out of this." Winter thinks with a twitching eyebrow.
"Really shouldn't tempt fate like that." Roman says with a snicker
"-in damages, not to mention a hospital for all those other customers of the-"
Scene change to outside the Hellsing grounds.
"...And so half way through blowin' me, the fuckin' hooker OD's on heroin!"
"I really don't like discussing my ex-girlfriend with you."
"Corsac and Fennec?!" Blake exclaims.
"Aren't those the guys you said that attacked you and your parents?" Yang asks.
"Yeah. But Fennec is way different than this guy." Blake says.
"I mean I still finished, but what kind of shit is that?"
"For God sakes, Fennec. Think of mother!"
"...I ain't jerkin' off right now."
"GODS!" Everyone exclaim in disgust.
"Oi, you two. The grounds are currently closed."
"And here's some soon to be dead guards." Roman says with everyone agreeing.
"Aww, man! That totally sucks! And we came all the way out here with these foreign exchange students on a field trip through England."
"Where from?"
Guns emerge from bus.
"Texas." Fennec says before snapping his fingers.
Guards are shot to death.
"Called it!" Roman says.
"Wonder what Texas is." Ruby says.
"Something tells me you don't wanna know." Oscar says.
"Aw, shit. Looks like we need more prayer in schools."
"If you're quite finished, ready the ghouls. I'm going to find Alucard. You overrun the rest of the mansion."
"Alrighty." Fennec says with a manic look in his eyes and a pair of bull-pup assault rifles in hand. The ghouls then emerge from the bus. "Attention, all bitches! Off the bus and line up in order! I got a class assignment for all of y'all!"
Back at the Hellsing Mansion.
"...And while the mime did survive, he'll never walk again." Oobleck says.
The lights flicker.
"That's funny; we weren't cutting the power just yet." Ironwood says.
"They're here~" Yang sings.
"Oh, shit..." Winter says. She then calls the front desk. "Front desk, report. What's going on?"
"Oh hey, yeah. Hold on. Just give me a second. The guard says boredly as he stands up and looks out the front door. "Whoa. Oh yeah, it's ghouls. Hmm, definitely, definitely-" Ghoul. growls. "OH MY GOD-!"
"Sir Winter, do something!"
"Calm down! We have over 100 trained guards at the premises at all times. We have everything under control."
Suddenly, a muffled explosion goes off.
"...What was that?"
"That was probably the escape chopper exploding. As I was saying, let me just contact communications and get an update." Winter pushes a button on the phone. "Communications, come in. We need a full report."
All Winter got back was the sound of a grown man sobbing on the other end.
"I kinda feel bad for these guys." Ruby says with a frown.
"Meh." Cinder says. "They should've known what they were getting into."
Ruby seethes. "Resist...urge...to strangle!" Ruby then blinks in confusion. "Huh? Where'd that come from?"
"Read the fuckin' paper." A familiar voice says over the intercom.
"H-h-hey there... Winter..." A man cries.
"READ IT FUCKIN' RIGHT, COCKHOLE!" Fennec exclaims before slapping the poor man.
"Hey there... you... fat, frigid.. whore..."
"That's more like it. Now keep goin'."
"Man, things went from funny to dark real quick." Yang says.
"I really hope Fennec dies." Weiss says calmly while her eyes narrow.
"...Weiss? You...okay?" Ruby says unsurely.
"Fine, Ruby." Weiss says with the same look on her face. "Why do you asks?"
"Oh! No reason!" Ruby says quickly. "Besides starting to scare me."
"Me... and my big brother, Luke, are killing... all of your men... and turning them into ghouls... So... I-I... h-hope... you've made peace... with yourself... 'cuz when... I find you... I'm gonna-" ...O-oh God!"
"Keep reading, or I SHOOT THE OTHER TESTICLE!"
The males in the theater wince as they cover their jewels.
"'Cuz when I find you I'm gonna fuck every hole you've gooot...!" The man sobbs. "And then I'm gonna just keep makin' more holes to fu-uck... until there's nothing left but your riddled corpse full of blood... and seme-hen..." Oh God, this is horrible...!"
"No shit." Yang says.
"You ain't finished yet!"
"So prepare your dried-up pussy... for my hu-huge vampire co-ho-hock...! Now pardon me, while I blow this faggot ginger's brains out-" OH GOD NO-!"
A gunshot goes off.
"Ha ha ha ha! Oh! His fuckin' face, man! Aha, fuck! Ha ha ha ha! Oh no, that shit is priceless!" Fennec laughs before hanging up.
The audience too were left in stunned silence.
Winter immediately calls Alucard. "Alucard, get up here now! I'm locked in with the committee on the third floor and-"
"Okay, see, I'm going to have to stop you right there. You see, I'm under direct orders from my boss - who is a total bitch, by the way, *grunts* - that I am not to leave this room until such time as the committee has left the building. I was even bribed. Imagine that."
"I can practically see him grinning right now." Pyrrha says in a deadpan.
"Help my sister, damn it!" Weiss exclaims.
"Alucard, you vampiric asshole, I will-!"
"Sounds great, but I'm gonna have to go now. I just queued up an episode of "Red vs Blue" on Netflix. Byyye~"
The RvB Blood Gulch tune could be heard in the background before Alucard hangs up. Winter then snaps her cigar in half before pushing a button on the phone. "Ozpin!"
"No offense to Ozpin, but he's a butler in this world." Jaune says. "What's he gonna do?"
Ozpin takes over Oscar's body. "None taken Mr. Arc. Though, I can't help but be curious on what actions my other will take."
In another part of the mansion, Corsac swiftly dispatches an entire squad of Winter Soldiers (Marvel reference XD) with an almost invisible slice of his weapon. He then hears his brother's ringtone playing and answers his phone as the bodies hit the floor.
"Hello, Fennec."
"So, how's my favorite big brother doin'?"
"Oh, you know; just killed a group of guards."
"Shit, bro. You too? What's your kill count at? Nah, don't tell me..." Fennec looks around to see ghouls munching on dead bodies. "I'm winnin'."
The heroes shiver at the sight of the ghouls cannibalism."
"Please tell me the next universe we're gonna look at is nicer than this one." Ruby begs as she looks at Blaze.
"It will." Blaze says as he pats Ruby's head.
"They were guarding a secret passage way downstairs. Not really keeping it a secret if you keep a bunch of armed guards standing around it."
"Well, you have fun with that, bro. I'm gonna go skullfuck that Hellsing bitch. And the old guys. Ah, fuck it. Skullfuckin' for everyone! Come 'ere, ghoul!"
Corsac hangs up before he could hear anything else, but smiles despite himself. "Well, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family."
"Tell me about it." Weiss and Yang say.
Back with Winter and the board.
"Alright. Ozpin and his assistant should be here any second now."
"But if there's no way to get upstairs, how are they going to-" Ironwood is suddenly hit by roof panel. "Ah!"
Velvet falls on top of Ironwood. "Ah! Whoa!"
Ozpin lands gracefully "Talley-ho!"
"Good to see you, Ozpin."
Ozpin takes out a lighter and lights one of Winter's cigars. "Of course, sir."
"Those are bad for you, Winter." Weiss says.
"I guess when you deal with someone like Alucard, you need some kind of vice." Blake says.
"At least she's not drinking." Ruby says with a frown as she remembers how bad her Qrow was.
"...That's fair." Weiss says with a nod as she remembers her mother.
"The first two floors have been entirely overrun. Communications with the outside have been cut off, we lost all our men, and Alucard is being..."
"Alucard?"
"A total ass, yes. Now tell me, do you have any plans?"
"Of course, sir. I shall do exactly as the butler does... and tidy up." At the end of Ozpin's sentence, he holds up his hand and the reflections of several razor-thin wires could be seen.
"Classy." Salem says. "I suppose I'll have to give you that, Ozma."
Ozpin glances at Salem's direction, but stays silent as he turns back to the screen.
" I don't give a shit, I don't give a fuck
I don't give a shit! I don't give a fuck!
Now if I give a shit, I might just give a fuck
But I don't give a shit, so I don't give a-! "
Fennec's subordinates are suddenly sliced to death.
Roman looks at Neo. "Did Legs suddenly pop up in your head when you heard that song?"
Neo nods with a eyebrow raised.
"Good. Thought it was just me." Roman says with a nod.
"...Fuck was that?"
"Hello." Ozpin says as he walks down the hall. His wires creating the illusion of wings behind him. "My name is Ozpin C. Dornez. Ex-vampire hunter and butler to the Goodwitch Organization." Ozpin adjust his gloves. "I answer the door, I clean up the estate and I take out the trash. And I also kill self-entitled little twats like yourself."
Ruby drools. "Ooooh. What kind of wires can slice through stuff like that?"
Penny proves to be the ever insightful one. "I believe those are of the same material that my weapon once had."
"Well, ain't you just the textbook fuckin' definition of classy!" Fennec snaps his fingers and more of his armored subordinates emerge. "But guess what, Jeeves, that garrote wire won't do shit for dick against armor this thick! What's that, Alfred? "How thick is it?" Well, half as thick as mah dick! So thick enough that you need a fuckin' anti-tank rifle to pierce it, and I don't even see a piece on your wrinkly old ass."
"...Seriously. Kill him." Weiss says darkly.
Ozpin steps aside. "Police Girl, if you may."
The view pans back to Police Girl, laying on her stomach with an anti-tank rifle.
"Bitches love cannons!"
Police Girl fires at armored subordinates. Taking out ten ghouls at once.
"Okay, now I want the t-shirt." Yang laughs.
Just like before, a T-shirt appears in front of Yang who quickly grabs it.
"I want that gun." Ruby drools. She then blinks and notices she doesn't have Police Girl's gun. "Hey!"
"What?" Blaze asks. "I can't just go around giving weapons wille nilly. Besides, no violence allowed, remember?"
Ruby then breaks out her ultimate weapon. The "Puppy Dog Face". "Pleeeeeease?"
Blaze looks at Ruby with a twitching eyebrow. "Only if you're good."
Ruby fist pumps. "Yes!"
Not even gods are immune to the cuteness that is Ruby Rose.
"Oh fuck, that's an anti-tank rifle... OH FUCK, THAT'S AN ANTI-TANK RIFLE!"
Police Girl fires again.
Scene change to Alucard enjoying his new T.V.
"That. Was the worst throw ever. Of all time."
"Not my fault. Someone put a wall in my way."
"Gods damn it Caboose." Ruby and Jaune say with a sigh.
Just as the pair jumped over the wall to avoid the detonation, Alucard's TV explodes. Revealing Corsac standing in a hole he had just made.
"Well, he's dead." Jaune says. "Never mess with a man's T.V."
"Preaching to the choir on that one, Blondie." Roman says.
Neo rolls her eyes.
"...That was a 70-inch... plasma screen TV. Alucard takes a deep breath and clicks his tongue. "...So, how can I help you?"
"You must be the great Alucard."
"'Suup."
"I've heard quite a lot about you."
"Oh really?"
"The night walker... who glides through oceans of blood. Beyond human. A monster whose power radiates with a darkness that casts a shadow on darkness itself!"
"Oh, you dirty bitch, work the shaft!"
"Ex...cuse you?"
"Oh I'm sorry, I, heh, I like to dirty talk when someone's sucking my dick!"
"Burn!" Yang laughs.
"Perhaps I should just skip to my point. My name is Corsac Albain.
"And I'm Carmen Sandiego. Guess where I am!"
"I feel like that's a reference to something." Ruby says.
"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you here."
"Oh, so am I. And I'm failing. And I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated, because this blonde little shit strolled into my room, destroyed my 70-inch plasma TV and is trying to impress me like I'm his alcoholic father!"
Almost instantly, Corsac and Alucard aim their guns at one another.
"Be a sport and grab Daddy another beer, would you?"
Corsac and Alucard fire their guns.
Scene change to Police Girl restraining Fennec.
"Arm bars everywhere!"
"Ah, let go of me, stupid bitch!"
"That's quite impressive. Where did you learn that hold?" Ozpin asks.
"Oh wow, it's almost like I'm a police girl or something!" Velvet says sarcastically.
"Man, Velvet's got some sass to her." Yang says with a grin.
"Sarcasm is unbecoming of you."
"Wow. Gee willikers, mister. I sure am sorry for slaughterin' all your guards and tearin' up your mansion. I promise I've learned my les-" Ozpin stomps on Fennec's hand. "AH! Fuck! Take a joke, asshole!"
"And everything you say just pisses me off! Now you're going to tell me everything I want to know."
"If only he was this assertive long ago." Salem thinks. She then blinks before her eyes narrow slightly. "Where the hell did that thought come from?"
"Alright, alright. What you do... is you go down to the local pharmacy, ask for something called "Viagra", and it'll help ya GO FUCK YOURSELF!"
Roman snickers at Fennec's comment. "Nice one."
Ozpin prepares to finish Fennec off.
"Yes!" Weiss cheers.
Ghouls suddenly appear. Causing Ozpin and Police Girl to pause long enough for Fennec to escape their grasps.
"Damn it!" Weiss exclaims.
"And now for the upcoming company picnic. Unfortunately, all your douche bag coworkers are bringin' is their own rotten flesh. Still better than potato salad if you ask me. Now ifin you don't mind, I'ma go eat that Hellsing bitch!
Fennec jumps and flips over Ozpin and Police Girl before running down the hall.
Ozpin throws his garrote wires at Fennec's arm. "I've got your arm!"
Undeterred, Fennec continues running despite his arm being cut in half. "So shove it up your ass! Aha ha ha ha ha!"
Yang rubs her robotic arm with a wince. "Getting flashbacks here."
Blake sends a sad glance at her partner.
"I'll say this, these vampires are durable." Roman says. "How else can this guy keep going despite having his arm torn off?"
"Allow me to enlighten you with an age old phrase." Blaze says. "...He's got the crazy flowing through his veins!"
Everyone stays silent for a moment before nodding in agreement.
Fennec opens the door to meeting between Winter and her financiers, only to find they all have guns trained on him.
"To quote Hellsing Qrow; "Ya done goofed." Ruby says.
"...Well that's not fair at all."
"I'm sorry. We don't give a fuck."
Winter and the financiers open fire on Fennec.
"Fuck! Motherfuckin' cunt with a fuckin' titty! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! As Winter and the others finally cease their assault, Fennec slumps against the wall. Ozpin, Police Girl and Winter then surround the evil vampire. "Fuck! Ahg, where the fuck did my ghouls go?"
"Oh, they've been dealt with."
Flashback to Police Girl killing ghouls in a blood rage.
"Badass!" Yang exclaims.
"Well, least I'm gonna die with a raging boner."
Weiss starts to turn red with anger. "Shut. Up. And die already!"
"All right, shit-for-brains, you're going to spill every single thing you know or I'm going to have Ozpin here peel your dick like a banana!"
Fennec giggles as he stands up. "I don't know what's fuckin' funnier: The fact that you think that your titless ass intimidates me, or that you think my boss would let me live if ya did." Fennec sets himself on fire as he flips the heroes off. "AND NOW I'M ON FUCKIN' FIRE! SO NOW IT'S FREE GAME! The one who sent me... WAS...! ...Wwwhite Faaanng...!"
Fennec dies and turns into a steaming pile of ash.
Weiss lies back in her seat with a content smile. "Finally."
"...I heard Spruce Willis. Who else heard Spruce Willis?
"I heard Miami Heat."
"I herd the Achievemen with my vampire hearing.
"They're still a thing?" Yang asks.
"Looks like someone's in denial." Pyrrha says.
"Wait a second... where's the big brother?"
"Huh. Almost forgot about him." Roman says.
Scene change to Corsac vs Alucard.
Corsac appears to have the upper hand in the shoot-out against Alucard.
"You can't touch me! I was hand-crafted to kill you! My speed, my stamina, my power all rival... nay, dwarf yours! In comparison to you, I am a demigod!"
Ozpin and Salem narrow their eyes at Corsac's comment. "Someone's overconfident."
"How's Qrow gonna get through this?" Jaune asks.
"Keep watching." Blaze says with a grin. "You may be surprised."
"Really? ...Really?" Alucard says, seemingly headless.
"Really."
"Really?!"
"Really!"
Alucard's head re-emerges. "REALLY?!"
"REALLY!"
Alucard makes a strange symbol with his hands. "Release restraint level one."
"Level what?"
"Level what?" Everyone asks.
Suddenly, Qrow turns into a mass of shadows and eyes. One of them turned into something resembling a hound's head and out it's mouth came his arm, hand and gun. It fires and severs Fennec's leg at the knee.
"Agh! Agh! Fuck!" Fennec curses as he tries to hop his way back to the door.
"Whoa! Where'd this come from?!" Yang exclaims in shock with the others sharing her thoughts.
"He said "Restraint Level 1." Blake says. "Does that mean-"
"Bingo!" Blaze says. "Alucard has multiple levels to his power. So much that he's had restrictions placed on him. Winter's given him permission to only use level 1. All the other forms require her approval."
"...So, how many levels does he have?" Ruby asks hesitantly.
Blaze puts a finger to his chin in thought. "If I remember correctly, he has six."
Everyone is stunned by Blaze's words. Until...
"Well, that's ridiculously OP." Yang says.
Blaze smirks to himself. "Trust me. You haven't seen anything yet."
"You know they say that TV makes you violent. But I'd say not having my TV IS MAKING ME PRETTY FUCKING VIOLENT!" Demon-Alucard says while holding what remains of Corsac's leg. He then shoots off Corsac's other leg.
Corsac yells in pain as he falls next to the staircase. Giving him some form of hope. "I'm near the stairs. Gotta get to the stairs. If I could just get up the stairs, I-" Corsac takes another look up the stairs and realizes that it's a long way up. "...Aaawwwwwwwww fuck."
"Come on! You were talking all that good shit a second ago, then I blew your FUCKING legs off!"
"He has no chill!" Yang exclaims.
Cinder couldn't help but grin at the sight of Alucard's brutality. Even if he looks like Qrow Branwen.
"But I... You...! What the fuck?!"
"What's wrong, "demigod"? Just grow back your legs! Alucard crushes Corsac's leg stump as he moves closer to his opponent. "Summon up your demons! HIT ME! FIGHT ME! Give me a hug!"
"...Really?"
Alucard grins before he proceeds to eat Corsac alive.
"Oh God no-!"
Scene change to Winter and the financiers listening to Alucard ripping Corsac apart through the intercom.
"Hey, we're here on Epic Meal Time! I'm the Sauceboss! And tonight, we're eating this albain little wannabe demigod bitch!"
"Who... is that exactly?" Ironwood asks bravely.
"Oh, that's Alucard, the one we talked about earlier." Winter says with a smug grin. "This is what happens when he has to entertain himself. Oh, so what was that issue about funding?"
"Issue?"
"What issue?"
"I don't see an issue."
"Shut up and take our money!"
Everyone continues to be stunned silent for a moment before gathering their wits.
"Well, that one way to close a business deal." Roman says. "Intimidation works." Roman sends a glare to Cinder. "I should know."
"Something you wanna say, Roman?" Cinder asks cheekily.
"I would, but there are lady's present." Roman grounds out. He then smirks. "Though I'm not sure you'd count."
Cinder growls before she stands up.
"Park it, Cindy!" Blaze says.
Cinder reluctantly sits back down and grumbles.
"Why did I choose her as my Maiden again?" Salem thinks. "Right, she's easy to manipulate."
Scene change to Winter's office.
"Ah, and just like that, everything turned out alright in the end." Alucard says from the intercom.
"Yes, everything turned out just fine... except that 90% of our staff were killed, turned into ghouls, then killed again by the police girl in a blood rage."
"What's a blood rage? And why don't I remember anything?" Velvet asks from the intercom.
"She doesn't remember what happened?" Ruby asks.
"The experience must've caused a form a short term memory loss." Penny says.
"That reminds me - for whatever reason, did we ever find out who sent them?"
Winter stays silent.
"...It was the White Fang, wasn't it?"
"No."
"Bet you I'm right."
"Bet you you're wrong."
"Bet you you're a skank."
"Bet you you're an asshole!"
"BITCH I EAT PEOPLE!"
"And there's another shirt." Yang says.
And done! Another chapter finished. As you can see, I'm going through all of Hellsing before moving on to another universe. Also, I'm sure you've all noticed the shifts in the RWBY cast personalities. Let's just say that it's part of why they're going through all this.
See you next time. Until then, ja nee!