Hello, it's me again. A third part has been requested and I was like 'Yeah, I could do that. I think it would be interesting to see how Donna handles a night without Harvey as we haven't seen that yet.' So here we are. Part 3 of il dolore for you. Leave reviews with all your thoughts, I wanna hear it all, they really help me with inspiration for updates (someone help me with hoco btw). I hope you enjoy this chapter! - Dana
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"What are you doing?" he then asked, as he noticed that she was throwing things into a duffel bag.
"I'm staying at my place tonight. I can't be here right now, Harvey. I need space. I'm sorry." she said, tears in her eyes, her voice shaky and weak.
"Donna!" he tried again as she walked off towards the door. But before Harvey knew it, Donna walked out and the door fell shut behind her.
Donna didn't sleep that night. Her apartment felt strange, not like hers anymore. She was used to sleeping at Harvey's, sleeping with Harvey. And now she was alone in a different bed and she felt lonely. She missed him already and it's barely been thirty minutes here. She got ready for bed immediately but little did she know sleep wasn't her friend that night. She twisted and turned and couldn't fall asleep. And every time she did fall asleep for a moment the memories came back and Harvey wasn't there to save her. Harvey. Harvey. Her bed. A street. Whipped cream. Dirt. A lilac La Perla slip dress. A pink coat. Bangs. Soft curls. Her bedroom. A hotel. Cotton. Pavement. Strawberries. Blood. Gentle kisses. Rough hits. Cries of pleasure. Cries of pain. Her bed. A street. Harvey. Harvey wasn't here this time. Donna was alone. Alone with her thoughts. And she cried. She cried and screamed for Harvey. For help. But he wasn't there. At three in the morning the tears stopped. She was physically unable to cry more and she texted Harvey. 'Can you come over please? I need you.' she typed and hit the send button.
Harvey was still up as his phone vibrated. He couldn't sleep either. His mind was busy thinking about Donna and what happened earlier that night. And then at around 3am his phone beeped and a message popped up on the screen. Can you come over please? I need you. He was relieved at first, she was safe, she was at home. He quickly changed into jeans and a sweatshirt again and packed an overnight bag. After all, he hasn't spent much time at her place as they always stayed at his and he didn't keep any spare clothes in Donna's apartment. He made his way downstairs and hailed a cab. The short ride felt like an eternity. He was desperate to see Donna. See her face. See that she was okay. When the car finally stopped in front of her building Harvey threw some dollar bills to the driver and jumped out. He ran up to the 12th floor, not willing to wait for the stupid elevator to come, and opened the door to apartment 206 with the key Donna gave him a few weeks ago. She asked him to get some things for her but he never returned the key and Donna never asked for it back. So he kept it and now it came in handy. He opened the door and found the apartment dark and empty. Harvey hurried into the bedroom where he found Donna sitting on her bed, knees pulled up to her chest, her face hidden in them. He sat down on the edge and pulled her into a hug which she gladly accepted.
"I'm here now." he whispered and Donna nodded in between sobs. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah… I… I guess... It was back… the pictures. I thought they were gone but they came back. I… I couldn't breathe." Donna stuttered, breathing heavily, tears running down her freckled face.
"It's okay, I'm here now." Harvey repeated and hugged her tighter.
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Over the next couple of weeks, Donna learned to cope with flashbacks and panic attacks alone. She was now able to calm herself down when a flashback episode came. Donna went to therapy, talked about her feelings a lot, both with the therapist and Harvey. Knowing what exactly triggered Donna really helped them in their everyday life. Harvey knew where not to touch her, what to say or do when she had a panic attack, and how to bring her back to reality. It went uphill. The flashback episodes came less and less, the memories from that night first became clearer, Donna saw every detail, before they started fading. In over two and a half years since it happened she learned how to live with the fact that she had been assaulted. And Harvey learned to live with it too. He was there for her, even when she didn't want him to be there. He soon realized when she meant it when she said she wanted to be alone and when she didn't mean it. He knew exactly when it was time to give her space to breathe and when it was time to pull her into a tight hug and make her feel protected. It wasn't easy, for neither of them. Harvey knew that. But breaking up with Donna just because it got hard sometimes was never an option for him. He loved her, just the way she is and he wouldn't trade her for anyone else in the world. And Donna knew. She knew that Harvey loved her with all he had. And she loved him back. Just as much.
The two of them experienced sex differently. It wasn't taking off clothes and devouring each other for them. It was a learning by doing experience. Harvey went to the therapy sessions with Donna and they both learned a lot more about the human brain and about sex and how to make it pleasurable for Donna again. They practiced like they had to write an exam about it. Harvey learned where to touch Donna and what she liked. He also learned what spots triggered her flashbacks. And he also learned how to make it clear to Donna that it was him and he wasn't gonna hurt her. It took time. A lot of time. Sometimes it was frustrating and Donna gave up and locked herself in the bathroom after a short panic attack. But eventually they got to the point where Harvey could go down on her again, they got to the point where he was on top again, and they also made it to the point where Harvey was on top of her and held her hands down. Donna was able to relax during sex, close her eyes, live in the moment and enjoy the intimacy between her and her boyfriend. Knowing Harvey so well for so many years really helped her with the trust part. Eventually them being intimate was only about pleasure again. They came home after a long day at work and soft kisses turned into steamy makeouts and then it happened. And throughout it all Donna didn't even notice that just a few weeks ago Harvey could've never touched that part of her thigh. And now they were here, both almost naked in the privacy of their bedroom and Harvey kissed a trail down Donna's stomach to the waistline of her underwear.
"Lift your hips." he whispered and she did and helped Harvey pull them down. When they were off, Harvey started kissing her leg until he reached the apex of her thigh, then he repeated the torturous path on her other leg. Donna whispered a 'Harvey, please' and he gave in, licked a trail through her folds and closed his mouth around her bundle of nerves. Donna moaned and lifted her hips. Harvey pushed her back down and held her still with both his arms as his tongue worked it's magic on her swollen clit. He pulled back and admired his work, her clit red and swollen, peeking out from under its hood, glistening in a mixture of his saliva and her own juices. He smirked, proud of what he created until he heard a low 'Harveyyyyy' from Donna and he went right back in, devouring her sensitive sex, lapping at her until she was screaming and writhing underneath him. His fingers found her wet folds and he pushed a finger inside, making Donna moan in pleasure. He twisted his wrist and curled his finger and stroked her spongy spot with every outward movement. When he thought she was adjusted to the intrusion he added a second finger and Donna gasped at the sudden stretch. His big fingers filled her so well and it felt so good and she couldn't help but let out a loud moan again. He pumped his fingers and sucked on her clit until he felt her walls convulsing and her legs trembling and she came. Harvey carried her through it, then he pulled his fingers out and moved up to face Donna. She took his hand and licked his fingers clean, tasting herself on his digits.
She released his fingers with a pop and pulled Harvey down into a kiss. Their tongues melted together and Harvey fitted himself between her legs. He lifted one of her legs up for better access and guided his length into her. They both gasped at the feeling of unison. Harvey moved slowly at first, gentle movements, in and out, in and out, almost painstakingly slow, until Donna asked for more and faster and he did as he was asked, slamming into her forcefully and Donna couldn't hold back the screams. The sound of skin slapping and fuckfuckfuck's and ohmygod's and yes's and faster Harvey's filled the air in his bedroom and Harvey spilled into her as Donna came around his dick. Harvey let himself fall onto Donna and rested his face in her neck. After a minute or two Donna pushed at his arm, trying to get him off of her.
"What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Are you okay?" Harvey asked, worried about her.
"No, no, you're just crushing me." she said and pulled Harvey into her side. Donna traced random patterns on his back and right before she fell asleep she heard Harvey's voice in her ear again.
"You made it, Don. We made it."