Ricochet

Disclaimer: all characters and copyright belong to SM.

Chapter Five

Jacob flipped through the pictures of CJ on Bella's phone over and over again. There were videos, too. He stared in mesmerised silence as he watched a video of CJ taking his first steps. He heard Bella's excited voice in the background as she encouraged the little boy along. When CJ had gained his footing, he toddled toward the sound of Bella's voice, using the furniture for support. He moved like his knees were just hinges, wobbling to and fro before falling on his padded bottom. Then he clapped like it was all part of the plan and rolled to his stomach to get up again. Bella suddenly appeared in the frame with a smile to light up the whole world. CJ giggled, waving his arms for the pick-up he knew was coming, but before he was hoisted high, he was on his bottom again.

"I never got to see him take his first steps." Jacob said wistfully as he finally raised his head to look at her.

"I know, Jake. I am so sorry." Bella's tone was thick with guilt. She so wanted to reach out and hug him, but knew she was the last person he wanted comforting him. She had stolen the most precious moments with his son from him. There was no getting that back. He had missed all of CJ's most important milestones. "You must hate me."

Jacob studied her face for a long moment, sadness and frustration resonating in his dark eyes. "It would be so much easier if I could, believe me."

"Ask me anything, Jake. I'll tell you everything you want to know." Bella pleaded.

But Jacob didn't seem to be listening. He was taking deep, deliberate breaths, trying to calm himself. He was so mad that his hands were shaking and he was forced to put Bella's phone down in case he crushed it.

"Jacob, please." Bella whispered in anguish, tears collecting in her eyes. She forgot herself and reached out to him, stepping forward with her arms wide.

Jacob cringed away from her, holding his hands up defensively. "Don't touch me."

"I'm sorry." Bella sobbed. The tears had escaped the corners of her eyes. She wiped them away with the back of her hand, and folded her arms across her chest.

"You know the worst thing?" Jacob accused bleakly.

"What?"

"The worst thing is that the fucking bloodsucker got to share in all those special memories with my son. And I didn't." Jacob growled at her. "How could you do that, Bella? How could you be so fucking cruel? CJ has shifter blood running through his veins, and you tortured him by bringing him up around his mortal enemy."

"It wasn't like that." Bella snapped back defensively. "I limited CJ's contact with the Cullens as much as possible-I only allowed Esme and Rosalie full access."

"And the bloodsucker, too, no doubt." Jacob halfway smiled, it was a bleak and twisted thing.

Bella shook her head adamantly. "No. Edward had the least contact with him out of all of them. He lived in the main residence with the others, CJ and I had our own cottage on the grounds."

"You're a liar." Jacob snapped back. "You married Cullen. Do you expect me to believe that you were leading separate lives?"

"Don't you dare call me a liar!" Bella retorted. "You haven't the first idea of what my life has been like. And to be honest what goes on in my marriage is none of your damn business."

"It is when it concerns my son!" Jacob growled at her again, eyes glinting hard. "You had no right to keep CJ away from me all these years. I always knew you had a selfish streak, but even I didn't think you could be that cruel. You want to put the blame for your mistakes on those filthy, reeking bloodsuckers that you love so much, but the truth is the decision to keep CJ's existence a secret was yours alone. You could have contacted me at any time, but you chose not to."

Bella's mouth fell open and her breath came out in a whooshing sound. She was frozen in place, stabbed through with his double-edged words. The pain twisted in familiar patterns through her body, the guilt becoming so overwhelming that her brain fried up. It was like a trigger was flicked inside her mind. Her emotions turned- cold, fearful, anxious... she backed away, ready to flee before she struck out at Jacob and hurt him even more with words than her actions had already done. It was in these moments she was the least proud of who she was, for she failed to be the strong woman with the softness of a mother she purported to be. Instead, showing the frightened child within, who's first instinct was to run and hide at the first sign of trouble.

Running was Bella's way to feel power in a life where she had none. Running was living, it was feeling the power to leave anytime she needed to, to escape the confines of the cage she'd built around herself. Jacob could still read her well enough to know that she was about to flee. Before she had even made it to the entrance of the garage, his long strides had caught up with her, and his strong, heavily muscled arms clamped around her, hauling her back inside.

With her back pressed to his chest, Bella fought him, kicking out with her legs and yelling at the top of her lungs. "LET ME GO!"

"NO!" Jacob shouted, pinning her against him. She was trapped. There was no way she could escape his bearhug. The steady sound of their rhythmic breathing was the only sound in the tense silence.

Bella sagged in his arms; all the fight drained out of her. Jacob relaxed his hold on her and she twisted around in his embrace, closing her eyes and resting her forehead against his chest. There was sanctuary in his strong heartbeat, as if its sound were an auditory cocoon.

"I didn't know I was pregnant until I was on my honeymoon. By then I thought you wanted nothing to do with me after what Billy said. I had already confessed to Edward about our night together, he was crushed, but said he understood and was prepared to forgive me because he loved me so much. I convinced myself that it was all for the best."

Jacob's warm hands moved to her shoulders and he closed his own eyes in pained disbelief. "How could you be so easily convinced by Billy's words? I thought you knew me better than that."

"I don't know." Bella whispered. "My head was all over the place. And there were other pressing reasons why I went ahead with the marriage after I thought you rejected me."

"That's no excuse. You should have still have contacted me as soon as you found out you were pregnant with CJ." Jacob said wearily.

Bella shook her head back and forth in denial, trying to clear it at the same time. "I was in shock." She whispered. "I had already accepted the fact that I was never going to have children. It was the sacrifice I had to pay in order to be with Edward. And then to find out I was going to be a mother after all…."

Jacob looked down at the top of head in despair. "I don't even know when CJ's birthday is." He muttered.

"CJ turned six on the 25th May." Bella revealed as she finally opened her eyes and glanced up at his face. Jacob looked utterly defeated. He let go of her shoulders and gently pushed her away from him. "I can't give you back all those years you've lost with CJ, Jake. But I don't want you to lose anymore. I want you to be part of his life."

"Why now?" Jacob stared at her with desperate eyes.

Bella stared back at him, equally as desperate. She didn't want to hurt him even more, but she couldn't lie and say the decision had been hers. It had been Rosalie's actions that had prompted her return. She had wanted to, but had lacked courage until the beautiful blonde had forced her hand. "Rose took CJ and brought him to Charlie. She knew that I would follow."

"So, it wasn't even your choice." Jacob clutched at the wall for support, his expression turning bitter. "You just keep twisting the knife, Bella. Even Blondie has more compassion than you." He slammed his fist against the wall and turned his back on her.

"I know I'm a coward, Jake. And I hate myself for being so weak. But I would have come back…."

"Really? When? CJ's eighteenth?" Jacob whirled around quickly and stalked away so quickly that Bella had to jog to keep up with him.

"Where are you going?"

"To see my son." Jacob had reached the Jeep. He yanked the driver's door open and climbed in. "Get in." He ordered Bella.

"Jake, it's the middle of the night." Bella said breathlessly as she hauled herself into the passenger seat.

"I don't care." Jacob snapped. "You've denied me enough time with him."

"You're not being rational." Bella argued desperately. "We should wait until morning."

Jacob glanced at her suspiciously. "You're hiding something."

"I'm not!" Bella huffed, her face flushing red.

"I can read you like a book. What is it?" Jacob demanded.

"Okay." Bella admitted through gritted teeth. "Edward is in Forks. I don't want you two running into each other. We need to plan your visit with CJ carefully. I don't want him upset."

"Of course, you'd bring the fucking bloodsucker with you!" Jacob slammed the palms of his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.

"I didn't exactly have a choice. Edward insisted on coming."

"Well, I don't give a fuck about the bloodsucker's sensibilities. If he gets in my way, I'll – "

"What? Kill him?" Bella cut in scathingly. "Grow up, Jacob. This is not about you, me or him. This is about CJ. If you truly want to meet him, then it needs to be in a safe, calm environment. I will not have you storming in there all riled up. If you don't calm down and control yourself, then this is not happening. Do I make myself clear?"

"Crystal." Jacob said the word distinctly in a cold voice that didn't seem to belong to him.

"Good." Bella took a deep breath and reached for her seatbelt. "I'm sorry that I couldn't…. before…I wish I could change things. I'm really very sorry."

Jacob's face went from anger to agony in a second. "You always are, Bella." He said tiredly as he switched on the Jeep's engine and began to back out of the garage. "It's a shame it's six years too late!"

A/N-thanks for reading!