After much deliberation, I decided not to abandon the story. My reason for changing my mind so fast is because I don't want to let the people who have liked and followed my story down. I just need to tweak and rework my idea a bit. I hope you guys enjoy the updated version of my story. This will differ from my original story idea. Meaning there is no secret child. Sorry to those who liked that idea.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. All copyright belongs to Stephanie Meyers.

Warning: There is smut in this chapter.

Chapter 1- A Night to Remember

Why must life be so hard?

Before moving to Forks, I lived my life normally. Get up, make sure Renee is awake, make her breakfast, go to school, go home, do homework, make sure Renee has dinner, and then snuggle up in bed with my tattered copy of Pride and Prejudice. Never in a million years did I presume that I would be saying that I missed my life in Arizona. Forks has become my own personal hellhole and I have no one but myself to blame.

It all started because I had to find out what Edward Cullen was.

A vampire. I remember being shocked but enthralled with everything about him.

We became friends, fell in love, almost died but, of course, he was there to save me.

On my 18th birthday, the day I happily take my first steps into adulthood, naturally, I almost die.

Then he leaves taking my heart with him and in the months to follow I become a shell of myself.

Until the day I met my personal sun.

Jacob Black, the boy no man with a smile that lights a room up.

He put me back together, slowly but surely I became Isabella Marie Swan again.

I found my heart surprisingly seeking out Jacob but then he came back and it was everything I dreamed of. At least that's what I delude myself into thinking. The truth of the matter is ever since Edward came back I have not been as happy as I presumed I would be. A large piece of my heart now belongs to Jacob and there's no changing it (this tidbit is clearly taken straight from the book). Ever since Edward's proposal, the newborn battle, Jacob almost dying only to have his heart shattered into a million pieces by me, sleep has become non-existent. Nightmares of Jacob killing me due to my upcoming vampirism, cause screams to echo my room night after night. Another thing that has my nerves rattled is my wretched marriage. Marriage is not a big deal to me however, it is the only way Edward would change me into a vampire. That was what I wanted. To be perfect as the rest of the Cullens right? I realize that I'm giving up everything just for a man. When did I become one of those women, the type of woman I always denounced. Oh right, when I became enamoured with Edward.

It's been a month or so since the day I told Jacob my choice and I have not seen him since. In the meantime, I have been planning my wedding or moreover, Alice has been planning like a madwoman. I do not have the heart to plan the wedding especially a wedding I never wanted to begin with. I can never say no to Alice or the rest of the Cullens. Maybe Jacob is right, in my attempt to live up to the Cullens, I have become a puppet to them. I mean, I easily forgave Edward when he took my car charger just so I could not see Jacob. I also forgave Alice for the whole "kidnapping" situation. I do not even know the person that I have become. It's as though the shy yet independent Bella who was able to say no disappeared.

Enough with my overdramatic sob story. The point of today is to spend one more day or should I say night with the one man I can never have. I was able to convince Seth, god please that sweet boy to lure Jake to First Beach. I feel quite nervous thinking about reuniting with Jake. The last time I saw him, we did not part on good terms. I wonder how he will react when he finds out that he is meeting me rather than whatever Seth has planned. The night air is cool, the wind blowing my hair in my face, the cool sand slipping between my toes, the moon shining bright illuminating my pale skin.

As I pace on the beach, I feel another presence with me. My body relaxes as I realize that it's Jake. Ever since I found out he was a wolf, I feel this pull that makes my body attuned to him. His woodsy, earthy, musky scent with a surprising hint of chocolate engulfs me and I greedily inhale his scent. Odd that I can smell him from this far away. Edward's scent is sweet at times overly sweet as though he bathes in a bath of candy. Jacob's scent is more manly and human.

Ugh, Bella stop comparing the two. This night is about Jake, not Edward or the both of them, the voice of reason tells me.

Turning around I see Jake standing tall, fully clothed for once in his life. He is decked in a black v-neck t-shirt, faded blue jeans that hang low on his hips as well as white tennis shoes. He looks smoking hot as always. He has a stoic expression on his face, the same expression he had when he tried to end our friendship, the one he gets when it comes to business. I should have expected that he wouldn't be happy to see me, I mean I did break his heart.

The lovesick me expected him to give me a warm sunny smile and a hug so tight it leaves me heaving for air.

Of course, he does not do any of these things.

He just stands as still as a statue waiting expectantly for me.

I take a deep breath and smile weakly, "Jake, it's really good to see you. I've missed you so much. I miss seeing my personal sun-"

I hear a derisive snort come from Jake. He looks angry. "I stopped becoming your personal sun the moment you chose the filthy bloodsucker over me. So cut the crap. I'm a bit surprised that he let you come meet me. You shouldn't have come. You made your choice so deal with it," growling each word out in a harsh tone that shocks me. Jake has never been harsh or snapped at me even when I left for Italy.

I should have expected this.

But then again I'm just naїve, optimistic Bella.

"Jake…."

He sighs suddenly looking defeated. His shoulders are slumped, his face dawning a pained expression that breaks my heart.

"Look Bella, you made your choice. It's him, it will always be him. I will never be good enough for you, I get it. Don't come around saying shit like 'oh Jake I miss you'. If you really missed me you wouldn't be planning to become my mortal enemy."

Before, I was excited about becoming a Cullen. I mean plain, mousy, weak clumsy me would become a vampire. As a vampire, I would be beautiful, strong and graceful. Realizing that being a vampire would mean that Jake would become my mortal enemy makes me uneasy. Honestly speaking, becoming a vampire means giving up my human life, leaving all the people I love behind. I admit to myself that my reasons for becoming a vampire are selfish and superficial. Just me feeling sorry for myself as usual.

Wanting to make him feel better, I wrap my arms around him basking in his warmth. At first, he does not reciprocate it but then I feel his warm muscular arms enclose around my waist. We embrace for what feels like hours when in reality it was most likely a couple of minutes. I gaze up into his eyes noting how pink and luscious his lips look. God, they look kissable.

I don't know what came over me, suddenly I press my lips onto his warm lips. Shocked at my actions I pull back, "Jake… I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to kiss you-"

Jake's lips shut me up with an earth-shattering kiss. His teeth nip my bottom lip pulling a low moan from me. His tongue darts out attempting to seek entrance which I happily grant him. His tongue melds with mine moving in a synchronized motion. I cannot even compare this kiss to any of the chaste, cold brief kisses Edward and I exchange. He always held back afraid of letting it get to the point where he loses control. Jake on the other hand does not have to worry about that. He can lose control without worrying about hurting me.

Jake's lips move away from my mouth. He kisses my cheek, planting kisses on my jaw then along my neck taking a brief break to suck the skin on my neck. His hands move to my butt cupping it in both of his massive hands, melding our bodies together. His lips crush back to mine in a forceful yet sensual kiss. The more we kiss, the more lost I get with each connection of our lips. We break apart gasping for air. I'm breathless, my skin most likely flush red from the heat of our kisses and his skin which is always blazing hot. Different from the cold that I've succumbed to.

He smiles that sunny Jacob smile that I love. Flashing his pearly whites at me, I feel my heart melt. He takes me completely off guard by grabbing my legs and hoisting me up, forcing me to wrap my arms and legs around him. His lips reconnect with mine slowly walking us towards his house. I barely register that we have arrived in his bedroom or that Jake has me splayed on the bed.

He smiles down at me, "God Bells you're so beautiful. All flushed and writhing underneath me." He says with a smug smirk.

That bastard. If I was not so out of breath and boneless, I would have smacked his chest.

He continues to attack my lips leaving me breathless and aching for more. His hands move to my cup my breast causing my body to arch into his touch. His hands grip my shirt, removing it in one swift move.

His eyes widened. He looks like a kid at a candy store. However, I realize that I did not wear a bra with my shirt meaning I am completely bare for him.

Embarrassed, I immediately bring my arms to cover up my breast insecure about my size. I find them to be small, certainly not as big as Jessica's or even Angela's.

He moves my arms away from them and in a husky tone says "Don't you dare cover up Bells. You are divine." His voice mixed in with his hot breath on my face makes me increasingly wet.

His warm hands cup my mounds which elicits a moan from me. He sensually massages my boobs. Just when I thought I couldn't get enough, his hot tongue wrapped around my left nipple sucking hard. I nearly come on the spot.

His mouth moves to my left nipple and I just about die. The way Jake looks at me and the way he makes me feel is insane. Not even Edward can make me feel this way.

In fact, I know he cannot. Every time I wanted our relationship to be more physical, he rejected me at every turn. I know he was just trying to protect me but it hurt to be rejected every single time.

With Jake, I do not have to worry about him hurting me or losing control.

Jake's mouth leaves my nipple with a pop. He removes my jeans taking his time to get them off from both legs, torturing me with his long strokes causing me to shiver uncontrollably. Once my jeans are on the floor, his fingers make their way to my wet core creating circular motions.

"Ugh, Jake that feels so good." I moan unintelligently.

Growling his motions become rougher, "Yeah honey you want more, I'll give you more."

His fingers grip the sides of my panties, ripping them off. I gasp from the sting of the rip then at the sensation of his finger that is suddenly in me.

"Bells, you are so tight, look at the way you take my finger. Not sure if I'll fit but we'll get you ready."

The pleasure I'm feeling is almost too much. It expands when he adds another one of his long fingers into me. "Jake too much I'm going to come." He smirks, satisfied with my state of undoing. He then moves his mouth to my ear, licking a hot strip on it.

"Come for me, honey."

I cum the hardest I ever had before. I go completely limp, the earth-shattering orgasm draining the energy out of me. After taking a minute, forcing myself to breathe, I realize that while I'm completely bared for Jake he is still fully clothed. In a rush to take off his shirt, it gets stuck on his head. He laughs swiftly removing the shirt tossing it off the floor.

I am speechless

Jake is smoking hot, I always knew that but my god his washboard abs and muscular arms overwhelm my senses. I run my hands up and down his abs noting how pale I am compared to his brown skin. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I attack his lips pulling him into another bruising kiss. I move my hands to unbutton his jeans, practically ripping them off with renewed strength. Glancing at the noticeably large bulge straining against his boxers. I knew Jake would be big but goodness sake will he fit?

Noticing my nervousness he gives me a reassuring kiss, "Relax honey. I'll fit, I will make sure to go slow."

With that, I move my hands to the waistband of his boxers pulling them down his long legs. Oh my goodness, he is big! His cock stands proud, the head red and swollen with precum leaking from the tip. I start stroking him, shocked at how hard yet soft he is in my hands. Pleased with the groans coming from Jake, I stroke him even harder.

"Bells, god you have to stop. I'm gonna cum if you don't stop." he groans out.

Pouting, I release him which allows him to re-pin me to the bed. As I'm splayed back down, I can see desire and longing in his gaze. Our lips meet in yet another slow but sweet kiss. His lips take the time to savour my mouth. He takes his cock positioning it at my entrance. He looks at me waiting for permission, nodding as he slowly inched his way into me. I gasp at the sheer size of him filling me up as he goes. He reaches the barrier waiting for a moment I whine impatiently "Jake would you hurry and shove your…"

I gasp, the pain of him entering me is unbearable. People always said that it hurt but this is almost too much to bear. I feel tears pooling at the corners of my eyes, spilling down my cheeks. He looks sorrowful, "Shit Bells, I'm so sorry." We stay still for a few minutes while he peppers kisses all over my face. The pain fades, replaced with pleasure.

"Jake, please move." With a groan, he starts moving, elevating the pleasure. His pace is slow in a good way. Instead of us going at it rough and hard like how I imagined it. Yes, I have had wet dreams about Jacob, he is one sexy wolf how could I not dream about him ravishing me into oblivion. Our lovemaking is more intimate, revealing our unresolved feelings for one another. It's our way of saying I love you without actually saying it out loud.

With each drag of his cock, he starts hitting that sweet spot inside of me. With each thrust, I get lost in everything that is him. From the way his skin scorches mine, his smell, the feel of him pressed up against me. I found myself never wanting this moment to end. His cock feels so good inside me, my walls constricting around him.

"Jake, please, I'm going to cum-" moaning my second release of the night, I fall into a blissful state utterly wrecked from yet another powerful orgasm. He continues to thrust into me, faster this time as he chases his release. After a few minutes, he gives one last deep thrust into me. He is so far in, practically pressing up against my cervix, cock gushing his white spend for what seems like hours. After he slips out of me, wrapping his arms around me hauling me against his chest. Jake is surprisingly quiet. I know he has a lot he wants to say but at this moment it's as though we are silently saying goodbye.

In just a few days, I will become a Cullen. That is what I wanted right? To become a vampire to fulfill my selfish needs so that I could be with Edward forever and always. See the thing is life is unexpected. I came to Forks dreading the weather, my worry about fitting in most importantly my non-existent relationship with my dad. I never expected to fall in love with a vampire or a werewolf but like they say life is unexpected.

As Jake drifts off to sleep, I can't help but watch. I see why Edward enjoys watching me sleep. I tend to describe Edward as an Adonis. With his perfect white marble skin, golden eyes, and perfectly done-up hair. On the other hand, Jake is hot in a bad boy way. I am envious of his golden skin, silky black hair that is done up in a messy yet sexy do, warm dark brown eyes, and muscles that any man would die for. Edward may be an adonis but his looks were superficially brought on by vampirism. Jake is naturally gorgeous.

I stroke his hair, tracing my fingers from his face, jaw caressing the lines of his 8-pack. After a few minutes, his snores indicate he is passed out. I slowly pull out from his tight embrace, quietly putting my clothes back on. I place one last kiss on his lips. My heart clenches at the thought that this is the last time we will ever be like this. I stand just outside the garage giving one last glance at the man that wholly has my heart.

Walking away from him feels like my heart is being ripped apart. I guess that's how Edward felt when he forced himself to leave for my protection. Unlike Edward, I am walking away because Jake can do better than me. One day, he'll meet a girl, imprint, have a family. Ultimately live a happy life that does not involve me.

I struggle to open my car door, slipping into the driver's seat. I burst down in tears, nauseous settles in as the thought of becoming Jake's mortal enemy dawned on me. He will no longer be my sunny best friend. I barely remember the drive home, my thoughts plaguing me like leeches. I pull into my driveway, sad yet confident about my decision.

A sad smile appears on my face.

I walk into my house, peering into the living room to see my dad passed out on the couch. I place a blanket on him planting a kiss on his forehead making my way up the stairs.

After I put my pyjamas on slipping into bed, my thoughts are whirling. In a few days, life as I know it will change forever. I feel more tears stream down my face. I acknowledge that this is my fault, I chose Edward therefore I need to stop acting like a child and face the fact that this was my decision.

A realization settles in. I cheated on Edward. I am Isabella Swan, the self-proclaimed good girl who lost her virginity to her best friend, which would not be a big deal even though I was not engaged! I start freaking out, my breath coming in short. How am I going to tell Edward? How will he react? Due to my panic attack, I'm unaware of a pale individual sneaking into my room. I feel long pale arms wrap around me, goosebumps dot my arms indicating Edward's presence. Immediately, I step away from him guilt gnawing away inside me.

His beautiful face contorts into a worrisome expression, "Love what is the matter? Does this have to do with the dog- I mean Jacob? I can smell his scent all over you."

I take a breath knowing that I have to tell him the truth.

"Edward there's something I have to tell you," I say.

His expression becomes increasingly worried. It is a struggle to maintain eye contact with him knowing that I am about to break his heart. How is it that I, plain Bella Swan got the attention of two gorgeous men only to have their hearts broken by me? Guilt intensifies as I take a deep breath looking him straight in his golden eyes. "Edward, Jake would never hurt me you know that."

An incredulous look dawns on his face, the same face he had the night my car battery was taken out of my car. Like a parent scolding their child. Honestly, it gets under my skin the way he treats me like precious cargo. At the beginning of our relationship, I stupidly thought that his treatment of me was romantic can you believe that? My time with Jacob showed me that our love was unnatural. It was all too consuming, draining and worse of all it left me feeling insecure about us being together. Jake does not treat me as though I was fragile glass. In his eyes, I am his equal. He does not hold my hand for every little thing but rather he encourages me to break out of my shell. He may not like Edward but he never accused him of hurting me. With this thought in mind, I start to get angry with Edward.

His face changes to one of surprise, noting my angry expression.

"Honestly Edward, who do you think you are accusing Jake of ever hurting me. He has been there for me when I was at my lowest. He and the wolf pack have done nothing but protect me from the problem you and your family created. Being involved with you has done nothing but hurt me physically and mentally. I nearly died twice thanks to James and Jasper. You and Alice constantly watching over me has destroyed my relationship with my father and friends. I always feel insecure and meek when I am around you and your family."

I pause to catch my breath, risking a glance in his direction. I become saddened by the heart-wrenching look on his face however he must know how I feel. Sighing I continue to talk,

"Edward, I am not saying these things to hurt you or make you feel guilty. This is how I have felt for a long time. You leaving me was the worst thing that has ever happened to me. It felt as though my heart was ripped apart. You crushed my soul, made me feel like I was worth nothing. Then I accepted you back as though nothing ever happened. I thought you coming back, us getting back together was what I needed. I needed you like I need air to breathe. But I was mistaken. Having you back has done nothing but cause me more heartbreak. Isolated me more from my father, friends and most importantly Jacob.

A guilty expression dawns on Edward's face. I can tell that he wants to apologize, sweet talk me into forgiving him but the truth of the matter is I am done. I realize now that I did and will always love Edward in some way but our love is not ideal. He is a 17-year guy forever frozen in time. I should have listened to him when he told me to stay away from him. Shaking my head, I realize that dwelling in the past will not help anyone. I want to tell Edward all about my infidelity however I do not have the heart to do so. I know that makes me a horrible person but me telling him how I have felt throughout our relationship has done enough damage to him. Okay, so I am deluding myself into thinking it is best not to mention it to him but give me a break? Quite a bit has happened tonight and I am emotionally exhausted.

Standing up, I take one last look at the beautiful yet over-the-top engagement ring that once belonged to Edward's mom and hand it to him. He looks agonized. If vampires could cry, he would be sobbing. I place a hand on his cheek, feeling his cool skin against my hot hand.

"Give this to the girl preferably a female who is a vampire that will love you wholeheartedly," placing a kiss on his cold cheek.

I take his hand, gently placing the ring in his palm. He freezes, unable to believe that this is happening. With the ring still in his palm, he cups my face and says, "Bella love, I am beyond saddened that I ever made you feel insecure. All I ever wanted was to protect and love you. I admit I may have gone overboard however everything I do is for you. My sole purpose in this wretched world is to love you. For a world without you is like a world without a sun. If you do not wish to get married I understand. We can visit the engagement another time."

At this point, I am starting to think there is something wrong with him. I mean did he not just hear anything I had to say? I step back from his hold and reply, "Edward it seems as though you did not hear me the first time. I do not wish to get married. In fact, I longer what to be with you. I still hold a lot of love for you along with your family. Take the ring and please leave my room."

"But-"

"Edward, I am not going to ask you again to leave my room and do not come back"!

With a defeated sigh, he turns to my window getting ready to leave. He cast one last glance in my direction before he jumps out. I walk to the window watching as he climbs into his silver Volvo, speeding into the night. I feel happy, relieved that he is gone. Before I would have felt guilty, I would have cried begging him to come back. I am no longer the weak Bella who was a people pleaser. Doing anything just to please people in which I mean Edward and Alice. Jacob and the pack reminded me of the strong-willed person I used to be. I feel as though I am evolving into a new Bella. One who does not take crap from anyone.

I lay in my bed, pondering over the night's events. I reunited with Jacob in more the one-ways, told Edward to piss off as Jake would put it and gained my self-esteem back. I cannot believe I lost my virginity. I am a traditionalist of some sort so sex before marriage in my eyes is taboo. I mean it is how my mother became pregnant at the age of 19.

My cheeks heat as the memory of Jake and I's lovemaking burns in my memory.

Now that I am no longer marrying Edward what's next? My initial plan was to marry Edward, become a vampire and attend Dartmouth. I shake my head realizing how my whole life revolved around him. All my future plans were solely on him. Dartmouth was never my first choice however it is located in New Hampshire where the weather is always gloomy. I hate how I became when of those girls who depended on a man. Who fell so in love I forgot all about the people who loved and cared for me. I think about Jake and our relationship. We may have slept together however this does not mean he wants a relationship.

After everything I did, I would not blame him. Besides one day he will imprint on a girl who will become his whole world. I need to focus on myself and what I want to do.

I move to my desk area opening the laptop my parents bought for graduation. I also pull out the other college applications I never filled out. I see an application for NYU which I immediately grab. I take a pen to fill out the form. Once I'm done, I surf the web looking at apartments as well as jobs I could do in New York. I know in my heart I am making the right steps for the career path I want to take. English is my subject. I aspire to be a writer.

A bit of time passes, before I close my laptop, sealing my application into the envelope.

I put my cd player on, playing Edward's lullaby. Crawling into bed I pull the covers up, drifting off to sleep.

A few weeks have passed since the night I broke it off with Edward. Charlie of course was ecstatic when I told him the wedding was off. Renee as well sighed in relief at the news. We had a long talk about my future plans. I will be attending New York University, with my major in English. Since I applied late, I will not be attending school in the fall but rather the winter semester. For the fall semester, I will be working in a bookstore/cafe. I am moving in with my cousin who happens to be a few years older than me. I feel as though my life is finally normal.

I close my nearly full trunk, making my way over to the driver's seat. My mom and dad both come up to me to say goodbye. Renee gives me a big hug, happy tears running down her face.

"Babygirl, I'm going to miss you! Have fun, sleep around but make sure to use protection." I roll my eyes at my mom's advice. I peer over to Charlie and I chuckle at his flush red skin.

Making his way over he says, "Really Renee? That's the advice you give her?" He hugs me placing a kiss on my forehead. "Now you have fun and please stay safe."

I give him one last hug. "Don't worry dad I will." Smiling at both my parents I climb into the passenger seat, buckle my seatbelt. I wave at them for the last time, placing the car in drive. From the rearview mirror, I can see the two arguing. Some things never change. As I drive out of Forks into New York, my thoughts are on Jacob. Ever since that night, he has called multiple times he even came to the house. I told Charlie that I did not want to see, nor talk to him. I of course feel guilty but I keep telling myself it's for the best. I am leaving and who knows when I'll come back.

I'm leaving without saying goodbye. At least I could have given him that. I know a day will come where I will become a figure of the past for him and the pack. Danger will dwindle with me being the trouble magnet that I am. They will be free to live happily.

I turn the radio up as Coldplay's Vivia La Vida plays. I bum my head to the beat feeling happy about the way things are going. I just wish Jake was a part of my happiness.

Jacob is my personal sun. I could never forget the man who brought me into the light. He showed me who Bella Swan truly is.

I promise myself to live the human life, Jake envisioned for me.

I really hope you guys enjoy the new updated chapter as well as the direction of the story.