SM owns Twilight. We just want to live in her world a bit longer.

A/N a bit more language in this one. This is Jake. He isn't in a good headspace.

Chapter 10

The day that Jacob had laid in his childhood bed, his body pumped full of morphine, after being crushed by a vampire, was both the best and worst day of his short life so far. He had woken up that morning, his body cocooned around the women he loved. Their bodies fit together like two puzzle pieces. She had infiltrated her dreams. Her smell was all over him; it felt like it had saturated his whole body. When he awoke to her face, everything seemed right.

It went slightly downhill after that. After that mother-fucker unzipped the sleeping bag, and he fell out onto the frozen ground. Then he found out she was engaged. That was like a punch to the gut. Who knew that that wasn't even going to be the low point for his day?

But next was the kiss. Their first real kiss. Okay, he admits, he did use a horrible tactic to get her to kiss him. But he couldn't bring himself to apologize for it. He wasn't sorry.

He could still remember that kiss with perfect clarity. He never told her, but during that kiss, he also saw their future or a possible future. From his wolf standing next to her, protecting her, her fingers running through his fur; two small, black-haired children, running towards him, he picked them up, one in each arm. He turned and smiled at his Bella, pregnant again, round with his child.

After the kiss, it went downhill, fast. Nearly killed by a fucking vampire, drugged up by a vampire, bones were rebroken by a vampire and then she came. While he was as high as a kite, out of his goddamn mind on drugs, she came and broke what was left of him.

He didn't mean it when he said he needed some time and didn't want to see her. He regretted it as soon as she was gone. Just like the bones in his body, his heart was shattered after she left, and she took the pieces with her.

As time went on, his body healed, but his heart did not. How could it? She had all the parts.

Eventually, after that stupid joke of a wedding invitation arrived, he couldn't handle the pain anymore. His wolf was the only way to dull the pain. So he ran.

He hoped that time and distance would help, but the pain just got worse. The pain was becoming unbearable. Finally, he shut the pack out of his mind, building a wall out of his anger, so he could stop hearing their sympathies and listening about her calling Seth to see where he was. His anger was all that he had left.

The day of the wedding, he heard Seth, clear as day, for the first time in a month. Jacob was pissed off. He didn't know what the day was, or maybe he did, and he was just hoping it would pass by without him noticing it. He was happy living, well happy might have been a bit too far. He was living, well enough, managing to get through an hour at a time without thinking about her. But Seth had managed to break through the wall he had built. Jacob didn't get to talk to Seth before Sam phased in and Seth phased out abruptly.

Sam accused him of conspiring with Seth. Jake told him to fuck himself. Sam then ordered him to come home. Like hell was he going to listen to Sam. He hated being told what to do and having no control over his own life. Pathetic as it may be.

No, Jake told Sam.

What do you mean, no? Sam said incredulously.

N. O.

COME HOME, NOW! Sam roared, putting his full alpha command behind it.

Jake felt a ripple of power run through his body. He could easily submit to that power and let the command pull him home. That was the easy option. It felt like breathing, the natural course. But there was an undercurrent. When he dipped into it, he felt the power, his power as the true alpha. Once he had a taste of it, he embraced it, and it took over. It felt like he was being submerged in a warm bath.

And just like that, there was silence. He was truly alone in his head. He finally had peace in his mind. He stood still, silent in the forest, for what felt like hours. It could have been minutes or hours for all he knew.

He started to shift through all the events of the day. Apparently, Bella had run away, the day of her wedding. He could not let this small piece of news give him hope. Hope was like a poison.

Although he didn't want to do what Sam had asked, he found himself moving towards home. He felt the pull, even without the command. It felt good to be moving fast again. He loved the feeling of the wind blowing through his pelt. Of course, it was longer now, but he hadn't had to fight any vampires, and he never phased to human, so it didn't really matter.

The day after, he felt the pull, but it had changed direction slightly. When he ignored it, he felt his chest ache. Seth must have started to pull down that wall he had placed around his heart. He turned in direction and followed it.

The first thing he saw was the car. Then he heard the panicked voice and instantly he knew who was there. Watching from the forest, he saw a police officer place Seth in handcuffs and then Bella. At the sight of her face, he felt his heartbeat again. It was like it was the first time in months it was actually working. He was deliberating about what to do when he saw Bella start to have a panic attack.

Without thinking, he stepped out from the forest and walked directly towards the scene. He wanted to walk straight up to Bella and comfort her. He wanted to feel her touch, even in his wolf body. He missed it, but then he saw the gun.

In a split second, he watched Seth knock the gun as it went off twice. Then, Seth fell to the ground.

Immediately, he went into full alpha mode. He needed to remove the officer from the scenario, and ripping his head off wasn't an option. Instinctively, he let loose a ferocious growl that came out almost like a roar. He watched as the officer's eyes went wide, and he fell to the ground.

He smelled the blood instantly, and there was a lot of it. He wanted to feel that Bella was safe in his arms, but Seth was his first priority.

After finally getting Bella to unfreeze and Seth stable, they set off in the woods.

He could hear her stumbling around behind him. Her heart rate kept changing, from a steady pulse from exercise to a flutter. He had to stop himself from wanting to help her. He couldn't turn around and face her.

Seth was lying in his arms, completely unconscious. He was the baby of the pack. Everyone knew to look out for him. Leah was going to pissed, well, even more, pissed than usual. Why did she have to pick Seth? Embry or Quill would have been a better choice. It was her fault that Seth was injured.

When they were washing off in the stream, he tried to look at her and noticed she was also watching him. She had lost weight. Her jacket was hanging off her shoulders. Her skin was so pale and almost translucent. Her eyes had dark rings under them. But, at least her eyes were still brown. He shuddered at the thought of seeing them red.

He couldn't believe it when she started defending dickward. His head almost exploded. She still fucking loved him. At least Jacob hadn't begun to hope.

He could feel the hard wall of anger rebuilding that wall in his chest. It was better this way. She hadn't changed. He scoffed as they took off, further into the forest.

He was listening to the sounds of the helicopter. It wasn't coming near them yet. But it was making him nervous. Only the sounds of Bella's footsteps and stumbles could be heard. The boys walked silently. Jake clenched his fists together to stop himself from offering her his hand.

After about twenty minutes, Seth broke the uncomfortable silence. "So Jake, what happened to you, man? The guys said you just disappeared."

Jacob was silent for a minute. Then, finally, he let out a groan, "I think I'm alpha," he said begrudgingly. This was the last thing he wanted. "Well, of a new pack or something. I can't hear or feel anyone else."

Seth couldn't hide his enthusiasm. "Wow! That's so cool. Has there ever been two packs before?"

"Not that I know of," Jake answer reluctantly. There was probably hell to pay when he got back. Who knew what the council was going to do with him now. The last thing he wanted to do was fight Sam and take over the whole pack.

"Can I join your pack?" Seth asked excitedly.

Jake stopped walking and turned to look at him, avoiding looking at Bella. Jake didn't want to be responsible for Seth. He could barely function in his own body, let alone be responsible for someone else.

"No, Seth. Sam and Leah would kill me."

"Oh, come on. It would be so awesome, just the two of us. No one else in our heads. No Sam telling me what to do all the time." Seth gave him his best puppy dog eyes. "Please?"

Jake put his hands on his hips as he rolled his eyes and looked towards the sky. He sighed. Seth was so hard to say no to.

"Fine."

Seth started doing a little victory dance.

Jake interrupted him, "but only for the trip home, then you can go back to Sam."

"Oh, man," Seth face instantly fell.

"Come on, let's keep moving," Jake said.

Bella was silent throughout the whole exchange.

"I think I might be able to phase now," Seth suggested. "My leg is feeling pretty good, and we could move a lot faster that way. Get away from the coppers. Find somewhere to rest for a bit."

Jake looked from Seth to Bella. She was avoiding his eye contact. Finally, after a few seconds of silence, she looked up at him.

He raised his eyebrow and smirked, "how do you feel about riding a wolf?"