Imagine being told your whole life that one way is correct; that you are to behave and believe this way and that. Then you are thrust into an entirely different sphere where those old rules and beliefs no longer matter. Let's just say it's impossible to change one's attitude and instinct overnight- or at all. Old habits die hard.
Uncle and his friends were just finishing up with their coffee and biscuits. I accompanied Uncle on his weekly outing with Giovanni and Ricardo where I had a little hot chocolate. The men always went sea monster hunting after visiting the café; something I did not join them in. They all finished up and grinned pleasantly at me.
"Well, we're off." "See you soon, Miss Marcovaldo." Uncle's friends gave me a wave as they left the table. "I'll be home in time to make dinner," Uncle also stood up to go with them. I smiled warmly their way. "Alright, have a good time. Be safe!" "Will do! Arrivederci, bambina!" I waved back until they were out of sight, then leaning back in my chair and folding my arms contently. With them and Alberto, Portorosso was feeling more and more like home every day. Sure, the majority of the locals still avoided me, but I was starting to adjust to life here. I sat there, watching some of the boys practice riding for the Portorosso Cup. They rode by the café and I only then started contemplating heading back home. Course it could never be that easy, could it?
"Oh, tesooooooorina?! Who Ooh! Over here!" Noooooooo! My eyes winced shut. And I was having such a good day too. I should have left when Uncle and the others took off. I refused to open my eyes until the very last second, when I was forced to by the sound of his sickening voice right behind me. Ercole strutted over to me with a waltz which said he meant business, if he didn't before. He wore a cheesy smile, showing off his yellow stained teeth.
"My little one! I've been looking everywhere for you!" Stay calm, Ilaria; you can do this. You can deal with this guy. Just stay calm. I couldn't stop myself from visibly cringing though, when he took my hand in his. His sweaty palms made my skin moist; it felt disgusting. He drew his head in closer to mine.
"I've just discovered why you've come to Portorosso! Ah, my sweet; why didn't you tell me sooner?" "Uhhhhhhhhh, w-what now?" "It all makes sense! You're not here visiting your uncle- of course not! Oh, tesorina, forgive me; I've been so blind. But no more! Today is the day all your dreams come true!" "My…. dreams?" I gulped, still trying to mentally catch up. This guy was talking a mile a minute. His fingers gave my palm a tight squeeze, his grin thickened. Our eyes were locked onto each other's, and not in a good way. "I know you've come to find yourself a husband," that was all he had to say and my stomach dropped out of me and onto the ground. My cheeks flushed and my throat turned to cotton, making it impossible to say anything. Though like watching a speeding train coming straight at you, I could see where this was going from a mile away.
Ercole threw his free hand up into the air with enthusiasm. "Well today is your lucky day! Your search is over, my princess! For I shall marry you!" W-What…. What is happening? Did he just…. propose to me? Is that even possible?! My mouth slowly began to open but still nothing came out. How could it? Nothing he just said computed in my mind. It just seemed so logically impossible that Ercole and I should ever… Ew!
Not sensing my reaction correctly at all, he patted my hand approvingly. "Ah, you're speechless I see. I don't blame you! The most eligible bachelor in Portorosso proposing to you? Why, it'd be enough to make any girl faint; any of them would give their right arm to be in your shoes right now." Has he… ever looked in a mirror? Like ever? And it's not even how physically repulsive he is- like he's allergic to bathing- but his personality! Or lack there of….. He flashed me another cheeky smile. "But I assure you, it's true! You are the lucky lady who's going to be my wife! We'll be married by the end of the season, after I win the Portorosso Cup- again- of course. Why, I'll wear your colours for the race! You can sew me an armband in time, right?" Oh…. Oh my god. I just…. I just don't know…. I just don't even know what to say to that!
In an instant my mind rolled through seventeen years of refinement training. One of things we were actually taught in finishing school was how to reject proposes; this was under the assumption that we'd get a lot of them. Ercole was the first guy to ever propose to me, and while I did have the training I also had the first of a first-time rejection too. Probably because this was Ercole! There's no string of words I could formulate together to convince him that I wasn't interested. Even saying a simple "no" was out of the question. So I decided to lean into my lady-training and did what I was taught. I'd play into his ego with the prayer that it might work. If there was one thing Ercole loved after all, it was himself.
I did my upmost best to look humble and inferior, practically yanking my hand away from his. "Why, Ercole! I'm entirely at a loss. This is such an… unexpected surprise. I really don't know what to say." "Don't worry, small one. I know what you're thinking," he coaxed, making me roll my eyes internally. "Um, I'm not assured of that either, sir. For I just feel so unworthy. It would be immoral of me to accept a proposal from a man whom I do not deserve," I lied through my teeth. He scoffed. "Course you're good enough for me! You're a high-class lady!" Ok! That's clearly working; let's try a different tactic.
I cleared my throat. "Be that as it may, my instructions were to marry at my uncle's pleasure." But Ercole waved his hand around facetiously. "Don't be silly, my tesorina. Massimo will be thrilled! He couldn't ask for a better nephew-in-law than me!" "B-But you haven't asked him yet, and I haven't given you my consent for you to ask him." "All in due time, my sweet; all in due time." I was running out of ideas….. "I-I think Zio wants me to marry a fisherman. The whole reason I moved here is so that my husband might take over the family fishing business and my uncle may retire."
Ercole's stupid hand waved all over again. "Bah! Fisherman? Who needs to fish?! I'll hire men to do that for us! Oh, think of it, my princess! You, me, bashing about the world, visiting Rome, Paris, Vienna. We'll see it all together! You'll live in the life of luxury! I'll give you everything your heart desires! Servants, dresses, carriages; you name it and its yours! And we'll honeymoon in Athens! Oh, aren't you excited, my darling?!" This is bad….. Really, really bad. "Uhhhhhhh, b-but you still need my uncle's permission to marry me, and I haven't agreed to any marriage proposal yet. A marriage proposal is binding contract, Ercole….." "I know! Isn't it wonderful? Once I get Massimo's approval, we can make the formal announcement! Gasp! That's it! We'll announce the engagement after I win the Portorosso Cup! Everyone will be in the square to congratulate me anyway- why not make it a double congratulations, eh?" "Ercole, listen. I don't….."
"You don't know what to say. Yes, I know, tesorina. Fear not; from now on, I'll do all the speaking for both of us!" "No, what I mean is this is not how engagements happen. We don't even know much about each other's family!" "I know that you're from nobility, which is good enough for me. I want my children to have that blue blood of yours." Um, I don't have "blue blood". Granted, my grandfather is a lord but we're not the most influential or richest family in Florence. More like one of the top ten percent; not top one. I frowned, standing up out of my chair. Course Ercole didn't take this as the sign it was.
"Really, Ercole, we need to be rational. A proper engagement is a lengthy process, full of paperwork, family records, and contracts. You don't even know what my dowery is!" Ercole clapped his hands together. "You're in luck again! I've never been one for paperwork- too dull. So we can keep this easy. Your uncle says "yes", we make the announcement, we get hitched, and get the hell outta here! And don't worry about your dowery, my little one; I get everything you own when we get married anyway! Doesn't the law make it so simple?" I wouldn't use that word. Ercole took my hand back in his, making me shutter. His eyes locked onto mine again.
"But don't you fret, my sweet. I'm not marrying you for your money, no. I've always wanted to marry above my rank- isn't that the dream of every boy? To marry a lady of high society. You are exactly the kind of woman I always saw myself with! You're perfect! With you by my side, I'll be invited to every ball and notable event wherever we go! You'll bring me into a world I could only gleam from the outside before- but no more! You truly are my tesorina."
I could only gawk back at him, unable to move. So he… wants to marry me because I'm his ticket into upper society? At least he's honest about it. But…. no! Never going to happen. I left that life behind when I moved to Portorosso and I did not intend to go back. Not for my sake but for my uncle's, and he ought to know that by now.
Once again, I wiggled my hand out from his, wearing the widest frown I could muster. And it wasn't hard to frown that wide. "I fear you fail to grasp the severity of the situation. As I said, a proposal for someone of my rank is akin to a binding contract. My father and maternal side of the family would see it as such." "You're so right! Which is why it's so important I make the announcement as soon as possible!" "No, you don't understand! My reputation as a lady will be tarnished if an engagement contract is broken. You cannot make the announcement!"
Of course, Ercole had to take this as me being too shy to admit that we're engaged publicly. He looked at me almost with thirst in his stare. "Believe me, my sweet; your modesty adds to your other mmmmmm, perfections," he said while rolling his tongue lustfully across the top of his teeth. I felt like I might vomit. "These… "perfections" certainly cannot entice you. We are of… of different worlds." "Soon to be rectified at the time of our marriage," he countered with a shake of the head. "Ercole, this can't happen. We can't get married." "Sure we can! Why, from the moment I first laid eyes on you, I singled you out as the companion of my future life." "You're not listening! T-Thank you for your proposal but it is impossible for me to accept it."
He chuckled, shaking his head. "I understand it is the usual custom of well-bred young ladies to reject a proposal when given in public. Oh, fear not, small one; I hear you loud and clear! You needn't say anything now- I'll take your silence as your affirmation of my offer!" "But I haven't been silent!" My voice was raising now. This insufferable character… I did pity the woman who did marry him. He held up his hand to keep me from saying more. "I can read between the lines of your words, and I know you are as thrilled as I! But to save face, I won't ask you again. It will be our little secret until after the race." "Ercole!" My voice actually cracked, I was that desperate. But he simply started to walk away from me, all while waving. "I shall speak to your uncle soon, tesorina! He'll be so surprised!" That is the first thing he's said all afternoon that we can agree on.
I stood there, still as a statue for a full minute, unable to think, unable to breath. Then I collapsed back into my chair, letting my back hit the wood hard. My lips trembled, my arms were numb. A single sentence kept repeating over and over in my head. This is bad…. This is bad! Now I knew deep down that Uncle would never consent to the marriage, particularly after I beg him not to, so at least I had that on my side. By law, a lady of my age and standing can't get married without a guardian's permission- thank god for that. But if Ercole did announce the engagement in public, it is still technically a binding contract, which puts me- or rather my spotless reputation- in an impossible position. They may not care about such things out here but back home a lady's reputation is everything, and there is one man in my family who very much cares about it. Two, in fact. Dealing with Papa's wrath is one thing; dealing with Grandfather's is another. And it wouldn't be me facing their ire.