Since that day, I couldn't get her out of my mind. The gleam in her eyes. The shimmer of her hair. The sound of her soft voice.

Everything.

I let myself get into the habit of going to check and see if she was on the beach or at the dock on a daily basis. My heart would leap into my mouth whenever I caught sight of her. She'd be walking around in those oversized pretty shirts of hers. She never was with anyone else expect when she was out on the dock. The tip of my head peeked up on the shore to see the young female human standing on the dock.

She wasn't alone this time. Three older fishermen were with her; one of them being the fellow with the one arm. All the men were lounging about while the girl poured them this weird yellow liquid. They drank it and smiled up at her. That was one of the few times in my life I recall experiencing jealously. As I watched the male humans with her, I was overcome with the desire that she serve me too. Not that I wanted her to do anything for me exactly, rather I simply envied the men so close to her, smiling at her and talking with her. What I would give to be in their place right now.

All three men took off in their fishing boat with those sharp spears of theirs. I returned back to the deep, waiting until the shadow of their boat had passed. Then I went back up to the surface so to find her. Lucky for me she was still on the dock, sitting on it now. I had to be careful because she was gazing out into the horizon. I couldn't clearly tell from here but it looked like she was talking to herself, or the fish all gathered beneath the shore at her feet. I'm sure she's quite unaware of it but a ton of fish had all come to get a look at the girl too, quite enchanted by her. Heh, guess us sea critters think alike.

Damn it! I can't hear what she's saying from this far. Trying to be all sneaky-like, I swam up to the side of the dock where she couldn't see me. I could hear her voice better now but it was still a bit muffled. Anxious to hear her even more, I climbed up onto the wood of the dock. In doing so my tail accidently splashed against the water, scaring all the little fish away. The girl didn't seem to mind. She was instead looking and grinning at the fisherman's boat. Wait, the fisherman's boat?

I practically had a heart attack when I saw them coming back toward the dock. "Ilaria!" The one-armed man cried out. Ilaria? Is that her name? It's beautiful. Course beautiful name for a beautiful girl. But there was no time to think about that. I scarcely leapt into the sea before his spear was swirling my way. Swimming a bit away, I tried to calm my heartrate down before popping the tip of my head back up. The one-armed man was checking over the side while Ilaria was in a mild panic.

"It got away," I assume the one-armed man was referring to me. "What?! What got away?" Ilaria cried. "A sea monster," he replied and I gulped. Uh oh. Would she believe him? Wait a minute, does she even believe in my kind? "A sea monster? What? No! It must have been something else! What if it was a sea turtle or a seal?" A seal? Really? Has she ever seen any seals around here? Wherever she's from, it's obviously not anywhere near the ocean. "It was no seal. It was a creature of the deep and it was getting close to you."

My eyes widened horrified. No, don't tell her that! I don't want her actively looking for me now; that'll just make it harder for me to see her. Fortunately again, she waved away all my concern. "Zio, you can't just do that. It's unseemly for fishing spears to be tossed in a lady's direction." What the heck is she talking about? What does "unseemly" mean? She's gorgeous, but she has this weird way of talking; I'd never heard anyone speak like her before. It's almost like she was speaking in a different language, yet those around her seemed to understand what she meant. And hold on a sec! Did she just call the one-armed guy "uncle"? He's her uncle?! They're related?! I…. I just have so many questions. Do they live together? If she's with him, then where are her parents? Did they did? Is she here for a visit? What's going on here?!

"Unless I'm in real danger, those sorts of weapons should not be around my person," Ilaria continued. Why not? Does she not know how spears work? Surely she must. Is she….. afraid of them? I doubt anyone would deliberately throw a spear at her. I watched her uncle give a defeated sigh. "You're right, niece. But I'm a fisherman; hunting and killing fish is what I do for a living. What do you think your husband will do here on the boat with me?"

Wait, wait, wait! Hold on! Husband?! She's married?! Isn't she like… too young for that? But….. no, she can't be married. If she was married then her husband would be hanging around, wouldn't he? I mean, a good husband wouldn't leave her alone.

If I were married to her, I'd never let her out of my sight.

Now in truth, I never saw myself getting married before; it just genuinely never crossed my mind. Not even with Ilaria. I never even wanted to live with another person for the rest of my life. I guess I'd grown so accustomed to living by myself that I couldn't imagine being any different. Seeing my first ever human girl didn't automatically change that either. I didn't look at Ilaria and think to myself "I want to marry her". That thought itself never occurred to me.

Instead I looked her way and felt something completely different. Well, maybe not so different but my head didn't link the two together yet. I didn't want anything else from her at this point but to be near her. Since friendship was out of the question, I had to be satisfied with this. And for the moment, I was.

I could watch her all day and never grow bored or tired; she was just that fascinating to me.

Still, even after subconsciously contemplating all that, I was anxious to hear Ilaria's reply. The look she gave her uncle said it all. "I understand that, Zio. But I was raised to be a lady. It would be an afront to my father who spent so much on my education to be anything else." Education? Humans have to pay to educate their children? That's seems silly. What do they pay with? Fish? I don't think Ilaria's dad was a fisherman; she doesn't seem used to the profession. And what does she mean that she's a "lady"? Are all human girls ladies? Well, I guess if you have to pay for an education to be one. Sigh, humans- they overcomplicate everything. If I should ever meet Ilaria in person, I can't let on I don't understand how any of this works. She's the last creature in the world I'd want to look stupid in front of.

Ilaria flashed a pleading expression. "Please, no killing anything in front of me. Again, unless I'm in mortal danger, it's not appropriate for my sensibilities to see such things. Please….." Her sensibilities? What? What is she talking about? "You really… respect your father, don't you?" One of the other men asked her. "Just what do they teach you in those fancy academies?" The other tacked on. I frowned, not appreciating the way they were talking to Ilaria. It's not her fault she's this way; it's what she's been taught before. She shouldn't be blamed for that. Besides! As a sea creature myself I could appreciate that Ilaria wasn't running or eager to hunt my kind. At least it was one less blood-thirsty, fish-eating human I had to worry about.

The one-armed man put his hand on Ilaria's shoulder. "I should have expected as much. Your father warned me about this before you came." "Zio!" Ilaria cried. He shook his head. "It's not a bad thing. I'm just not used… to women like you. You're more like your mother than mine." Was that an insult? It's hard to tell; I had no idea who he was talking about. But he better not be insulting her…. "Zio…." Whatever he meant, Ilaria didn't take it badly. "Alright, if it will make you feel better, I'll keep the killing to a minimum when you're around." Hey now, that could actually work in my favour! This was turning out alright! It also helped that Ilaria smiled at this. "Thank you, Zio Massimo. I don't want to see anything die." Massimo, huh? So that's his name… Strange that I've seen these fishermen for years and never even knew their names. But I suppose it was the same for Ilaria and I….

Massimo told his buddies to help him bring up the boat, then he told Ilaria that he'll start dinner. It was around this time that I swam back to my little island, my head swirling with thoughts and ideas. I still couldn't get over her name. Ilaria…. Ilaria. That's a name I'd never heard before, and yet it suited her perfectly. I wouldn't change a thing about her, including her name. That, and the fact that she didn't want to see anything die in front of her. At least I knew I could trust her, even if she did catch me in my true form. She wouldn't try to kill or even hurt me….

Why does it feel like I've won the lottery all of a sudden?

Reaching my lone island, I stepped out of the water, transforming into my human skin. I used to wear shorts made of seaweed until I swiped some human boy clothes from a ship that were laid out to dry. They fit alright, though I did have to use a rope as a makeshift belt to keep the shorts up. I had a rather lean figure, I'm proud to say.

Humming to myself, I climbed up the ladder I constructed for my tower. It had one big room at the top where I kept all my human treasures. The roof was made of wood, which I used to sleep under the fish- those little lights in the night sky. Pretty sure those were fish. I entered my collection room, scanning everything over. My eyes lowered a little.

Ilaria would know what all of this is, I'm sure. What could I possibly teach her? Show her? There's a world full of human stuff that she could show me. Even if she ever did meet me, what would entice her to be my friend? She's so high above me in every respect. Why would she want to be near me, despite my ardent desire to be so close to her?

My eyes drifted over to the wall where I'd marked down the days after Dad left me here alone on the island. He said I was old enough to take care of myself now…. He said that, but I didn't want him to go. I didn't feel like I knew enough or was ready to be all on my own. Walking over to the wall, my hand reached up to press against it. It ran along the markings in a pained sort of way. My bottom lip trembled a bit. I spent so long wishing that he'd return and grown so used to disappointment…. I didn't even miss him anymore. It'd been six years since he left and I'd become a new boy since then- the kind of boy that didn't need a father or anyone. I didn't need anyone anymore; not really. Dad was right.

I can take care of myself no problem.

Gradually my hand fell off the wall as I glanced back out into the room, scanning over all my treasures. I can survive perfectly fine on my own. So then why…..? It doesn't make any sense. Why do I want to see her so badly? Why can't I get her out of my mind? The last person I wanted to see this bad was Dad, and that ended in soul-crushing disappointment. Shouldn't I have learned my lesson by now? Don't get attached, don't give yourself over to temptation. The temptation of another's smile… I should know better; I do know better! I know better than put myself out there and let someone else in. She doesn't even know I exist, so it should be easy to stay detached….. It should be easy…. My hand curled into fists. But you….

But you.

Everything about you draws me in. You make me want to trust again, to not be so goddamn lonely anymore. I didn't even realize how lonely I was until you came along. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to put myself out there! But you make it so damn easy…. And every time I return home after watching you, I try to be my normal self….. but it comes out all wrong like a cry for help now. God, what are you doing to me, Ilaria? For the first time in my life I've thought, I've felt like my life could be better…. that I could be happier than I am right now. Being your friend would give me a happiness I've never experienced before, and I want it! I shouldn't want it- I don't want it! But…. I want it.

Thinking about Ilaria for a minute made me smile. How could I not smile? She's there, inside my head. I climbed out onto the roof where I laid down and spread out my limbs. The sky slowly turned from this hazy pink, to purple, and finally to black, with all those little fishes and big fish swimming around in it. I knew it had been hours but time seemed to be flying by; it'd been doing that a lot lately. Especially whenever she's nearby….

I'd give anything to talk to her, even just once, but deep down I knew that wasn't going to happen. I'd never been in the village before. I couldn't just show up now out of nowhere and introduce myself to her. Heh, bet her uncle and the other fisherman would love that, I sarcastically chuckled. Still, at least I could watch her from afar; it didn't sound like she was going anywhere anytime soon. And I don't know how I'd act around her if we did ever meet. Like I thought before, there's no legitimate reason for her to want to be friends with me….. Heh, I'd probably try and mask that insecurity by trying to teach her stuff and show her how to do things.

If I was useful to her in some way, then maybe she'd want to keep me around….

Staring up at the static fish in the sky, I let myself unconsciously smile again. My hand moved so to rest relaxedly on my stomach. Ilaria…. Ilaria… Ilaria. That's a name I'll never forget. Even if she left the village tomorrow and never returned, I'd still remember her name. I was happier that night than I'd been in a long time. Confusion kept trying to creep inside me, but I didn't mind. Let me be confused and dismayed with my behaviour. I knew I shouldn't get attached to Ilaria; only a fool would. After all, the moment she discovered I was a sea creature, it would all be over, whether she knew me or not. I'd lose her…. I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt. Best not to get attached, lest I want to get hurt again.

And yet, all that didn't seem important right now. Ilaria may be another great source of pain in the future, but I didn't care at the moment. Thinking about her, being near her eased my mind regardless of all that. All without her knowing she showed me that life could be better, happier…. And she did so without a single word to me. The power of her persuasion and kindness was truly limitless. I have to see you, find you again. There were so many reasons, countless reasons…..

Reasons for me to find you.