I sat there at a kitchen chair, angrily sewing away. I had to commandeer one of Uncle's old, untattered nightgowns to repurpose for the swimming portion of the race. It would be easier to swim in one of these things if it actually had a waistline to my figure and what not. So I put all those mandatory embroidering lessons to work and tailored the gown to my specifications.
Not that I was happy while I was doing so. It'd been three days since Alberto and I had our little fight. True to his word, he stayed clear of Portorosso after that. I was still upset myself but more than that… I missed him. It'd only been a couple of days and I already missed him so much. Each time the door handle twisted this little hope would simmer in my heart, only to extinguish when Uncle came in the other side. He had the good sense not to ask me about Alberto's absence- yet.
Because of all the stress, this was admittedly not my best sewing job. The stitches weren't aligned perfectly and they were far too close together. I winced as the needle pricked my right forefinger which was reaching for it inside the fabric. Pulling my hand out from inside the gown I saw this little drop of blood start to swell on the tip of my finger. Watching it for a moment, tears began to form in the corners of my eyes yet again. I can't count all the times I've cried since our fight that day….
I miss him….. I miss him so much. Why? Why did it have to be like this? Perhaps I shouldn't have yelled at him like that. But I was just so mad. How could I not be? He thinks that his leaving me will secure me a better future…. But in reality Alberto's departure is more painful than I could have ever imagined. I would say that if I knew it'd be like this, that it'd hurt this much, then I wish I'd never met him. But that's not true; I know deep down inside that's not true. Alberto's brought me so much happiness; all without him trying…. He made me so incredibly happy.
A tear dropped down onto the unfinished gown on my lap. And now he's gone… He's somewhere far away from me. I have no idea where he is or if I'll ever see him again. All I know now is that I can't touch him anymore. My voice can't reach him anymore. My hands can't feel him anymore…. I can't…..
I had to hide my tears when the front door opened up again. Uncle was carrying a basket full of vegetables and fruit. I watched him approach the kitchen table to set it down. He put it down and looked at me. He didn't mention the depressed look on my face but he must have known I'd been crying again.
"What are you making?" Was Uncle's way to break the ice. "It's a swimming gown for the race. I want to have it done by tomorrow," I peered down at the work I still had left to do. "I see. You… looking forward to racing?" He pulled up a chair beside me. "I…." I began but was unable to finish my sentence. In truth I hadn't thought about racing at all. My mind had constantly been on…. other things. Uncle quietly observed me for a second before leaning forward a bit in his seat.
"I might as well ask it. Did you and Alberto have a fight?" Guess it's finally time to talk about that now, huh? I knew this was coming; Alberto'd been here every day, all day before our argument. "Yes. He's gotten it into his head that he's not what's best for me," I explained briefly. Uncle blinked in surprise. "Not what's best? Where'd he get an idea like that?" "He overheard our conversation with Papa's solicitor last week. I guess he didn't stick around to hear what you said after he left…. The part about me not needing a bigger dowery to get married here." "Oh…." Uncle thought it over for a minute, leaning back in his chair and placing his arm along the tabletop. I meanwhile stared out into space in a contemplative manner.
"But he's wrong; both Alberto and the solicitor are wrong. Even I was wrong before you corrected me…. Me and Papa. The truth is, aside from moving here, he's the best thing that's ever happened to me." "I know, niece; I know….." Uncle said while looking over at me. "Oh, Zio…. I was so mad at him for even suggesting that he could be bad for me in any way. We had a big fight and now I'm not sure if we'll ever see each other again." My uncle listened to this and nodded his hand. Then he extended his broad hand out to rest overtop of mine- which were still sewing- in a comforting sort of way.
"Now, don't be too hard on yourself, Ilaria. Arguments happen between couples. Why, your grandparents bickered all the time! It's normal not to agree on everything." "I know, Zio. But we've never fought like this before….." I gently countered. He shook his head. "Maybe this feels like a bigger deal to you because you and Alberto never fight. That's good! But you can't expect never to quarrel or get angry with one another. That's just unrealistic." I chuckled in response here. "That's not what they taught me at seminary school." "Heh, like I said. Your father paid too much for your education." "For the amount of return it got us, I have to agree with you." Uncle chuckled too and gave his head another shake before looking me straight in the eye.
"But don't let the sun go down on your anger, niece. Forgive him. The boy cares for you like none other. The fact that he wants what's best for you is…. Well, it's a very good sign. That's love, Ilaria." Love… My hands stopped sewing here to rest consciously on my lap. "You think….. Alberto might…. be in love with me?" Uncle didn't verbally reply but there was this twinkle in his eyes. "Oh….." My cheeks quickly reddened as my gaze cast down. Well, that would explain a lot….. But I don't know if he's actually in love with me; he's never told me so before. And I don't know if he'd ever consider marrying me…. Would he want to marry me? Me and Alberto? Together…. forever? Well, Uncle's already given us his approval and the dowery business is all sorted out. Personally, I'd marry Alberto in a heartbeat; I've never dreamed I'd be so lucky to find a husband like him. I'd be marrying my best, most dearest friend… But would he marry me? That's the big question- one which I unfortunately didn't have an answer to.