Something I'd been considering doing for a while. Imagine Eldre Koh being played by Jason Momoa. And I know Kennedy is an annoying brat in the show but in comics she is better, even though she can annoy in few instances, so I'm trying to portray her closer to comics than the show, since eventually Buffy and Kennedy made amends more or less and had some level of at worst grudging, at best civil respect towards each other and she matured to an extent, Andrew was still an idiot on the other hand. And in this crack fic, Anya is alive, since, fuck Andrew and Tara is alive and Willow is with her, since, well, at least Kennedy was better in comics more or less but no way in Hell she'd be with Willow.

Disclaimer: I do not own Buffyverse.

Angel, Cordelia, Willow, Tara, Giles, Dawn, Xander, Anya, Dawn, Spike, Gunn, Wesley, Gwen, Connor, Fred, Lorne and Faith scoffed as they listened to Andrew narrating to the Potentials about how he had helped in the Twilight crisis, rolling their eyes.

"Can I kill him? I can't stand listening to his bullshit anymore, especially if it isn't true." Angel said.

"Tell me about it." Xander said, especially since Anya almost died saving Andrew's cowardly ass.

"What's going on?" Buffy asked as she entered with Kennedy, while Kennedy was providing Buffy new intel on more demons. While they didn't see eye to eye at first, they had managed to have some level of respect for each other and treat each other more fairly.

"That bloody idiot is again spewing bloody bollocks." Spike said and Buffy and Kennedy rolled their eyes, while Fred's eyes and hair turned blue.

"He has no honor or courage, he is a cowardly cockroach that should be crushed under my heel." Illyria said.

As Buffy and Kennedy heard 'honor', an idea sparked in their brains as they looked at each other, with imaginary lightbulbs over their heads.

"You thinking what I'm thinking?" Buffy asked.

"Oh, I can't wait to see Andrew's face." Kennedy said, both of them sharing evil smirks as they snickered as Buffy pulled out a phone and dialed a number.

"And then Buffy gave me cover, while I faced Twilight before he could kill Giles—"

"You are Andrew Wells? The hero of the Scooby Gang?"

"Yes, that's me, you want to listen to my—" Andrew stopped and gulped to face a tall red-skinned demon with dark dread hair wearing a battle armor before he started to laugh nervously. "May I help you?" He asked, now less confident than before, much to the Scoobies' and Potentials' amusement, while Kennedy was recording him with a camera.

"When it's over, I hope you leave me a copy." Buffy whispered and Kennedy nodded.

"You sound like a formidable and cunning warrior and you claim yourself to be better than Buffy, the Slayer. I am obliged to defend the Slayer's honor. I am Eldre Koh of Nitobe and Buffy Summers helped me. And I shall aid her as long as she needs my aid. And I shall not stand for anyone staining her honor, if she doesn't wish so." Koh said in a matter of fact tone and Andrew paled.

"I was just… telling stories…" Andrew trailed off as everyone snickered from the sudden change from a braggart to the cowardly weasel he was.

"I challenge you to a battle, worm. At midnight. Until one party is unable to stand on their feet and fight. Fail to arrive or attempt to run, there is going to be no one to help you and nowhere to run and there is no shadow you can hide into where I shall not see you." Koh said before leaving and Andrew squealed nervously before turning to everyone, who had amused smirks on their faces.

"A little help here?" Andrew asked fearfully.

"Didn't you say you were a brave unyielding fighter who would outsmart their foes?" Xander asked mockingly.

"How about you live up to your reputation?" Faith asked, with snickers and giggles sounding around and Andrew could feel himself shrink, knowing there was no way he could weasel out of it, if he didn't want to become the laughing stock of the group.

"Can't believe you brought popcorn to this." Cordelia said as the Scooby Gang and Team Angel and the Potentials sat at the benches, while Eldre Koh formed energy chakram blades in his hands and Andrew was clumsily holding a sword and wearing a rather heavy armor that was making him stagger on his feet the whole time.

"$10 he's not gonna last ten seconds." Xander said.

"$20 on five." Dawn said as everyone chuckled, shaking their heads at their antics.

"I'd be more worried whether Koh's just gonna cut his head off and be done with him or drag it out and make him suffer and break every bone in his body." Kennedy said, her and Buffy remembering when Koh almost killed them both and Spike winced at his own face off with Koh too.

"Nitobe are ruthless, I doubt he's gonna mess with Andrew for too long." Anya noted.

Koh swung his blades, easily shattering Andrew's sword as he dodged but fell down, unable to get up with his heavy armor limiting his movement, making everyone laugh.

"Seriously, he's even stupider than I'd thought if he packed himself so much." Faith said.

"Should've brought lighter armor, at least he would be able to get up." Buffy said.

Koh was about to stomp on Andrew's chest and finish him off but Andrew, surprisingly, by sheer force of will, or rather fear, managed to find the strength to roll away and get up, despite the weight of his armor but he took it off.

"Don't think about running, I can pounce on you like a lion." Koh said as Andrew looked around, wondering whether he could outrun the demon.

Andrew tried to attack again but the sword barely pierced Koh's skin, making a scratch and Koh roared before he swung his chakram blade, cutting Andrew's hand off as the sword fell down and Andrew screamed in pain and Koh then aimed at Andrew's waist, cutting into Andrew's private area as it fell off as Andrew screamed louder, falling on his knees as everyone let out 'OOOOOOOHHHH!'.

"I didn't think he'd get Theon Greyjoy-ed." Dawn quipped as everyone snickered and Buffy, Tara and Willow shook their heads. It was sad how fast was Dawn growing up and as much as they hated it, they couldn't stop her, but still, her getting into Game of Thrones at that age was a little unnerving for them.

Koh then punched Andrew in the chest, the strength of the blow shattering Andrew's ribcage as he fell down, coughing out blood and whining in pain.

"You know how the fights in Mortal Kombat end?" Xander asked as the Scooby Gang, Team Angel and the Potentials sans Giles, Angel and Spike who were unfamiliar with the video game all chanted as one.

"FINISH HIM!"

Koh looked down at Andrew, seeing how pathetic he was, deciding he was not worth the kill.

"I doubt he'd give him mercy." Gunn said.

"Wait, what is he doing?" Fred asked as Koh lifted Andrew in the air before it hit them.

"Oh, yes, I was wondering what would break first…" Xander quoted.

"If your spirit…" Faith said.

"…or your body!" Buffy, Cordelia and the rest finished the quote as Koh slammed Andrew's back on the armor on Koh's knee, breaking Andrew's spine as Andrew screamed in pain again before everyone cheered and applauded.

"Way to go, Koh!" Buffy cheered.

"ELDRE KOH! ELDRE KOH!" Everyone chanted.

"The Dark Knight Rises never gets old." Dawn said before Koh approached Buffy.

"Our honor has been defended, Slayer. Shall I get rid of this honorless scum?" Koh asked.

"No, Koh, no killing." Buffy said.

"I think death would be mercy for him." Faith noted.

"Trust me, this kind of humiliation is the best punishment." Angel said.

"Oh, bloody brilliant suffering." Spike said.

"And I'm gonna put this on YouTube." Kennedy said as everyone looked excitedly at the feed of Koh beating the hell out of Andrew, laughing.

To those who don't know, Eldre Koh is a demon from Buffyverse follow-up comic books, who, to put it simply, was a frenemy of the Scoobies, like Soulless Spike, with his demon kind of Nitobe having an odd code of honor, that was that they were obliged to help those who save their lives, which was in Koh's case when Buffy unintentionally freed him from prison after destroying the Seed of Wonder and I guess you could say he was the Scooby Gang's Illyria, even though he wasn't an Old One, he was a formidable warrior who could go toe to toe with Buffy, Kennedy and Spike. Buffy has a rather odd relationship with Koh due to his code of honor which puts them at odds on a few occasions but he is a good ally, example being when the Senior Partners offered to help Koh find out who had imprisoned him in the first place if he would kill someone Buffy and Kennedy were protecting, despite Koh's obligation to Buffy, since like I said, his race has an odd code of honor and Koh basically thought he could kill two birds with one stone before Buffy talked some sense into him.

At least comic book Kennedy is better than the show's, Andrew didn't really change that much, even though he had some uses, he was still a moron who made a mess for the Scoobies to clean up.

So, what do you guys think?

Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.

With regards

Bl4ckHunter