Ken didn't think he had ever been this anxious before.
SlashAngemon's sudden appearance had given the group the chance to escape. He was more than capable of fighting through the enemies that tried to turn in his direction, and seemingly that was all that they needed in order to fully defeat the foes from the Dark Ocean. Everything had happened so fast that Ken could barely process what it was that had happened. He could see that Iori's expression had grown notably stormy though, as if he was unable to think about anything aside from what had happened. Then again, it wasn't as if Ken was the paragon example of being able to move on either given that he hadn't been able to tear Daisuke from his thoughts either.
Ken hadn't ever been forced to wait in suspense this way to hear news of this nature, and he decided very early on that he hated it. In fact, that seemed like an understatement; it was one of the worst feelings that he had ever been forced to put up with, and it seemed to make him endlessly nauseous no matter how hard he tried to push the subject out of his mind. Ken couldn't help but go back and forth through the dizzying cycle of asking if Daisuke was going to be alright without his mind telling him that even if Daisuke was fine, Ken would have to live with the guilt and responsibility his entire life.
Daisuke had said that Ken wasn't in this alone just before Daigo and Maki whisked him away, but that wasn't enough. Ken wanted to be there with him the same way that the rest of the group did. Instead, only Jou and Maki were missing as the group sat inside the office that Hiraku had so generously given to Koushiro. Jou was helping out with the procedure and had unceremoniously dropped Pukamon off with Mimi before dashing away himself, knowing that she would be able to care for his partner in his absence. When Daigo returned to the group, his clothes still notably stained with the outline and stench of crimson, he said that Maki was going to relay any updates to them as they were released. It wasn't much, but it had to count for something.
Unfortunately, it was the waiting that seemed to be so fatal. The office had been quiet for a while, all of the Chosen Children choosing to stay silent as they turned everything over in their minds about what this all meant. Everything had happened so quickly, and it was unbelievable how easy it was for everything to change. One moment was all it took for Daisuke to get hurt, Ken to be saved, and Iori to spark a new evolution. SlashAngemon had since reverted back to Upamon, and he was halfway asleep within Iori's grasp.
Ken had set aside his issues with Iori three years prior when the two were finally able to reach out and connect with one another. It took a long time for them to get there, but Ken was relieved when it finally happened. Back then, he found it impossible to know what was going on inside of Iori's head. All of a sudden, he felt as if he had been transported back to those times even tough he knew that Iori no longer thought of him with such acid and hatred. However, that wasn't where the comparison came from in the first place; it was the unreadable nature of Iori's eyes that bothered Ken the most. Ken liked to think of himself as a kind and empathetic person, something that both Wormmon and his Crest were all too happy to back him up on Still, that did little to help him figure out what it was that Iori was thinking about. He wondered if any of them would be able to get through to Iori, as a matter of fact.
There was one thing about Iori that remained firm even after three years. If there was one thing that Iori hated, it was loss of life. He didn't want to even imagine that he could do something to cause such harm to others, and Iori refused to raise a hand to take a life if it could be at all avoided. The one time that he had been forced to break his silent pact, Iori was left rattled and hollow despite knowing that there was no other choice. He hated to think of it even years later, and this seemed like an unfortunate reminder of things that Iori was yearning to forget.
It had been out of anger. That much was blatantly clear. Iori and SlashAngemon had been in sync as a result of the recent evolution, and all Iori was thinking about was trying to protect his team in the aftermath of what happened to Daisuke. He was trying to keep them safe, but that wasn't enough for Iori, it seemed. He hadn't tried hard enough to hold back, and he was unsure of what he was supposed to feel about it. Ken wanted to say something, anything, that would make Iori feel better, but he didn't think that he would be able to help. His words refused to leave his lips, remaining trapped somewhere in his chest.
Ken looked down at his hands once again, knowing what he was going to find but staring regardless. He had washed his hands after arriving at the small building far from the eyes of the rest of the world. Even so, the sensation of blood remained, and it seemed like no matter how much he clawed or scrubbed at his skin, he wouldn't be able to free himself of the lingering traces of Daisuke's blood.
Back when Osamu had died, there hadn't been this waiting. Ken had just known, and so had everyone else. There was no scrambling attempt to save Osamu's life, because by the time that medical personnel arrived, it was already too late for him to be brought back. This waiting game was torturous even though Ken knew deep down that Daisuke was going to be alright. He had faith that Daisuke was going to pull through because Daisuke was strong and would never be stopped by this sort of injury. Of course Daisuke was going to be fine. Still, if Ken knew that, why did it feel like every passing second was another scratch to his heart, leaving him bleeding and vulnerable inside out with salt and lemons in every wound?
Daigo walked back into the room, and Ken was left to wonder when it was that the man had left in the first place. Then again, it seemed painfully obvious as to why Daigo had departed; his clothes were covered in blood from when he had carried Daisuke away. Ken felt nauseous just at the memory, and he found himself reaching into the subconscious memories that he possessed from some faraway time to ask how much a human body could take before it shattered.
Daigo was now dressed in a simple t-shirt and sweatpants, and the fabric seemed to swallow his form effortlessly, leaving him appearing as less of a man and more of a shallow husk. Ken wasn't sure of where the clothing had come from, but chances were that Atsuo had something to do with it, because the blonde man wound up trailing after Daigo when he walked inside. It was the most complete meeting between the two generations of Chosen Children that Ken had seen since they were in the Digital World. The absences of Chisane and Kaya were to be expected given the circumstances and the former's issues with sickness, but the fact that Maki, Jou, and Daisuke were gone was much more notable and dreadful to acknowledge.
"I've got news from Maki," Daigo said, his voice cutting through the silence that still somehow felt too loud to Ken. Had the rest of the group been talking? Had he just not realized it? "Daisuke is going to be fine. He's been stabilized and should make a full recovery when given enough time. The attack from Daemon missed anything significant, and it apparently looked a lot more severe than it truly was. Everything is going to be fine."
No words had ever been more relieving to Ken, and as soon as he heard them, he felt like all of the weight in the world had been pulled away from his chest. He let out a sigh of gratitude, already feeling tears starting to prick at the corners of his eyes. He had known that this would be the outcome, but that still didn't entirely comfort him. He wanted to pretend that he didn't know why, but deep down he was fully aware of the reason for the agony that wanted to consume him when he dropped his guard.
"This is all my fault," Ken whispered before he could stop himself. Minomon was sitting in his lap, and Ken realized a bit too late that his partner was staring up at him in pure concern. Had Ken been so caught up in himself that he didn't even notice? Just how much had he missed out on in his moments of paranoid struggle?
"It isn't your fault, Ken," Taichi told him immediately. After Daigo had returned the first time, when his clothing was laced with blood and painful memories, he had been gripping Daisuke's goggles tightly between his fingers as if they were his one and only lifeline. He had given them to Taichi after washing them free of a stray smear of blood that had gotten onto one of the lenses. Taichi was wearing them the way that he used to before he had given them to Daisuke. Ken knew that Taichi was the one who had owned the goggles before Daisuke, but that still didn't shake the feeling that was so overwhelmingly wrong to him about seeing anybody but Daisuke bearing those goggles atop their head.
"Daisuke got hurt protecting me," Ken murmured, trying to focus on the sound of his own heart in his chest. That was his one connection to Daisuke in that moment, a sign of their Jogress bond, and Ken was using it to keep focusing on what was coming next. He had to try and stay focused. Everything was going to be fine. Daisuke wouldn't want him to give up, and even if he felt hopeless, he had to try and keep that spirit of optimism alive in the center of his chest. "I'm the reason that he was hurt in the first place. If he hadn't gotten in the way, then-"
"We all should have been more careful," Taichi cut in before Ken could finish. Ken looked up to his senior and stared at the goggles that seemed to weigh more than the world itself atop Taichi's head. "We all should have been watching after one another, including you and including Daisuke."
It was only after Taichi had finished speaking that Ken realized just what that look in Taichi's eyes was: guilt. Ken wasn't the only one who was feeling guilty over what had happened to Daisuke. Taichi had been his predecessor and mentor three years prior. Taichi had been close with Daisuke for a long time, so it was only natural that he would be upset over what had happened. They were all upset, and as far as Ken could tell, they were all being poisoned at least a little bit by that same sensation of suffocating guilt.
"Daisuke is going to be alright," Iori suddenly interrupted, his eyes as jagged and difficult to understand as ever. All thoughts of protest that Ken had immediately fell silent, and he looked down at the floor by Iori's feet. Chibimon was curled up next to Iori's ankles, his eyes clamped tightly shut as he tried to ignore the onslaught of dread that was starting to manifest inside all of them. Of course he was being impacted more than any of them; Chibimon was Daisuke's partner. It was only natural that such was the case.
Nobody wanted to argue with Iori in the first place, and the room fell silent for a long time. Koushiro had yielded his desk to Hiraku, instead opting to be closer to the rest of his team. Nobody seemed to know what to say, and they were taking solace in the words that Daigo had come with as both he and Atsuo settled down for the time being. Everything about the situation was just ominous, and Ken couldn't stop the overwhelming waves of guilt that threatened to slam into him again and again with each passing second. He couldn't escape no matter how much he wanted to, and part of him wondered if he even deserved to be able to get away when he was the one responsible for all of this to begin with.
Ken lost track of time after that, and when something next disturbed the silence, it was when the door creaked open. He perked up in curiosity, and a selfish, horrified voice in the back of his mind wondered if there was some possibility that it was Daisuke himself that was coming. He knew that it was impossible, but he hoped in vain that he would be able to see his Jogress partner again and subsequently come to believe that this was all just a horrible nightmare that he would finally be able to wake from.
Instead of Daisuke appearing though, Maki and Jou appeared in the entryway. Jou was wearing a white jacket over the top of the clothing that he had been in during the attack, a sign that he had just come from the hospital. His shoulders were heavy, and Maki was putting on a mask of detached stability to make it seem as if she wasn't struggling from this as well. She was a better actress than Ken had expected, but he could still tell what she was feeling. After all, his mind was screaming in much the same ways.
Jou sat down on the couch beside Mimi and Iori when the two moved apart to make room for him. He pulled his glasses off and pressed a few fingers to the bridge of his nose, a clear sign that he was nursing the opening stages of a headache. "Daisuke is going to be alright," he announced. "My father is taking care of him for now. He was asleep when I left, but he's going to be able to leave the hospital in a few days. For now, what he needs most is rest, and we just have to give him the chance to start to recover."
Ken let out a heavy sigh to himself. Somehow, hearing it from Jou, someone who had been directly involved with the process of saving Daisuke, was much more comforting than receiving the news from Daigo who had heard about it from Maki. The rest of the team seemed to agree, and much of the tension in the air started to dissipate. They wouldn't be entirely comfortable until Daisuke could be back with them, but for the time being, they had to leave their companion to recuperate. It was agony, but it was a necessary evil, one that Ken wished he could ignore.
"Because of the fact that a gate opened here on Earth, I'm going to be able to push us a path into the Dark Ocean," Koushiro said next, his words soft and fragile. "Hiraku is already starting to work on it, and we'll be able to go soon enough. Daemon isn't going to be held back by the same ideas as the Emissaries of Chaos, so we don't have much time to waste."
"If we wait a few days, then we'll be able to see if Daisuke is alright with joining us on our journey to the Dark Ocean," Jou remarked with a light smile. "We'll just have to see what he thinks whenever he's started to feel better... Though his family might have a say in if he's going to be able to come with us too."
Ken didn't realize that Jou was right until after he had heard him say it. What was Daisuke's family going to think? How were any of them supposed to look Daisuke's parents in the eye and say what had happened? What would Jun say upon hearing that a Digimon had almost killed her younger brother?
"I'll take care of that," Taichi assured the rest of the group. Once again, his expression read like guilt and responsibility, and everyone knew it. Koromon looked up at his partner silently, knowing what Taichi was thinking but not sure as to what he was supposed to do to fix it. Were any of them able to help dispel Taichi's fears? Ken didn't think so, if he was being honest. After all, he didn't think that anyone would be able to help him, and Taichi was just as stubborn as he was when it came down to these subjects.
"We're going to have to take the fight directly to Daemon in the Dark Ocean," Mimi said with a small sigh. "We can't let him cause any other problems, and if he comes at us again, then the city is going to suffer major damages. Everyone is suffering enough after what happened with the Emissaries of Chaos, and we don't want it to get any worse."
"As soon as the gate has been finished-which should take a few days according to my estimations-then I'll send you all through, and we'll just see what happens from there," Hiraku announced. His fingers were still drumming out a powerful beat against the keyboard in front of him, and he glanced up at the rest of the team before smiling gently. "We're going to find a way to work everything out. I promise you."
"I'm glad that you're so confident," Sora confessed, smiling to herself with a grin that was so clearly falsified and strained that it almost hurt to look at. "We'll just your judgement on it... For now, all we can really do is wait for Daisuke to start feeling better."
"He should make a full recovery in the span of a few weeks. He's going to be released from the hospital in a few days," Jou said next. "He's going to be alright. Daisuke is strong, and he's going to be able to pull through this one way or another. All he needs right now is rest until he's ready to join us again... Though it might not be the best idea for him to come with us to the Dark Ocean. We don't know if he's going to have recovered by that point, and it's best if he doesn't push himself."
"I somehow doubt that's going to stop him," Hikari remarked with a sigh. "Daisuke is nothing if not stubborn, and... He's not going to let us leave as long as there's something that he can do. If he wants to come with us, then he's going to find a way to make sure that it happens. If it goes against our wishes, then that isn't going to matter to him. He's going to come if that's what he wants, no questions asked."
In that case, we'll just have to be careful when he does come with us," Yamato muttered. It seemed as if he had also accepted that Daisuke wasn't going to be letting them coddle him despite his injury. Ken wished that he could say something that would dispute everyone's beliefs, but he was fully aware that they were right; Daisuke was already going to have made up his mind by the time the rest of the group spoke to him, and that would be it as far as arguments on this matter were concerned.
"I don't think that Daemon is going to be the only one that you'll be up against when you go to the Dark Ocean," Maki cautioned, a frown on her face. She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed as she stared into vacant space, everything about her impossible to read.
"What makes you say that?" Ken asked, his heart skipping a beat in his chest. He hated what Maki was implying already even with the details scarce. He was confident that it wasn't going to be good given the awful circumstances that they had already been presented with.
"Daigo and I came to the scene because I heard something calling for me," Maki began to explain. Something in the back of Ken's mind clicked into place as he recognized that this was the reason for Maki and Daigo's sudden arrival. He hadn't been able to ask questions about it at the time, but it made sense in hindsight that there was something specific that had prompted them to come.
"Calling for you?" Hikari echoed, her eyes wide. Ken had heard of a time when Hikari experienced something similar to what Maki was speaking of, and it had hardly ended in a positive manner for her.
"Yeah. When we were kids, there was something in the Dark Ocean. I couldn't tell you for sure what it was, but... There was a monster there that seemed to be the ruler of the Dark Ocean," Maki explained. "I could hear that same voice calling out for me before we came to the scene. I think that the ruler of the Dark Ocean is going to try and cause issues for you on top of what Daemon is attempting to do."
"The occupants of the Dark Ocean that Daemon had with him weren't Digimon," Hiraku declared. "That much I can say for sure. The actual Digimon in the Dark Ocean are minimal in number at best. The Dark Ocean originally split away from the Digital World's Dark Area, the storage point for the data of evil Digimon. The Dark Area is deep beneath the sea, hence why it's relevant to the creation of the Dark Ocean."
"The actual creatures that are in the Dark Ocean aren't Digimon. They've become twisted creatures known as Deep Ones, and while they were once Digimon a long time ago, that isn't the case anymore," Maki went on, and it was clear that she had already heard this explanation from Hiraku. "They can change shape to fit their own wishes, and it seems that Daemon has gotten better at capturing that ability. He made all of the Deep Ones in his army appear as Digimon, but the truth is, they're far from being the same monsters that you all know."
"They always looked like Digimon, but... Something about them felt different," Hikari murmured to herself with a nod. "I guess that all of that makes sense... We weren't fighting against any Digimon today aside from Daemon himself. The others were just distorted Deep Ones, and that's why they seemed so much weaker than Digimon of that level ought to have been."
"The Deep Ones can change their shape to fit their own wishes or ambitions. I'm not entirely sure how it is that they can pull this off, but it's clear that they can. It seems that they've developed their skills in the past few years over shapeshifting too. When I talked to Qinglongmon, it sounded like in the past, they were just black shadows that you could barely distinguish as being much of anything. Now, they're in full color and appear to be following some sense of appearance laws similar to what we know in Digimon," Hiraku commented.
"If that's the case, then I think it's safe to assume that Daemon is involved," Daigo said as he let out a heavy sigh. "Daemon is an incredibly powerful Digimon, and if he's managed to get stronger, then he's probably shared such strength with the Deep Ones as a way of boosting his overall power. He's been planning for this for a long time as far as I can tell."
"Of course he has been," Ken muttered before he could stop himself. Daemon had been so firm about not giving up in his mission all that time ago, but when he was sent to the Dark Ocean, all of that came to a screeching halt immediately. Daemon was taking this chance to resurface and try to accomplish his goal once again. He had been after the Dark Seed before, though Ken wasn't entirely certain why that was. He still didn't know even after Daemon had started whispering in his ear.
"We're going to leave for the Dark Ocean soon enough," Koushiro declared. "As soon as we're able to figure out a way to get into the Dark Ocean, then we're going to leave. We've seen the danger that can come about by leaving them be for too long, so we can't do that. It's time for us to get over there and see what we can do."
"The data that was left behind by the portal is going to be our ticket to the Dark Ocean," Hiraku said. "I'm going to figure out how to get you all there as soon as possible. I'm working on modifying the data to make a gateway. Koushiro gave me a data sample that he managed to capture before you all left the scene, and I'm going to keep using it until I'm able to find what we're looking for."
Ken nodded vacantly, glad to hear that there was at least progress being made. He had completely missed Koushiro gathering the data that would be needed to force the gate open, but at the same time, Ken hadn't been focused on much of anything aside from the blood that had dried underneath his fingernails. He was reminded of the sensation as soon as he thought about it, and Ken shuddered at the memory. He never wanted to have to experience anything like that again. He didn't want to see Daisuke, or anyone else, for that matter, hurt that way ever again.
"The Dark Ocean's ruler is going to probably try to interfere with what you're all doing. I can guarantee that there are other Deep Ones in that ruler's army too. We might not know much about this Digimon right now, but it's only a matter of time before the truth starts to come out," Maki announced. "I'm wishing you all good luck in fighting back against this ruler of the Dark Ocean, because that fight probably isn't going to be easy either."
"I hope that's not a problem..." Miyako murmured. There was something awful in her eyes, a type of concern so overwhelming that it was nauseating. Ken recognized how powerful Miyako's emotions could be, and he knew exactly who it was that she was thinking about to begin with. He didn't even have to follow her gaze over to where Hikari was sitting elsewhere in the room. Hikari had been the target of the Dark Ocean's ruler in the past, and if this was going to influence anyone in an even worse way, then it would be her.
"Everyone is just going to have to be careful," Maki said simply. "If today has shown us anything, it's that we can't afford to let our guard fall. Daisuke is going to be fine, but he needs time to recover. Take this interim as a chance to do everything that you think is going to be necessary to go into the Dark Ocean. It's not going to be as easy to get there as it will be to travel to the Digital World."
"Once you go there, it might be a while before we're able to open a gate to bring you back. We just don't know yet," Hiraku agreed with a nod. "I'm going to keep working on everything, but we're just going to have to see how it all unfolds. I'm begging you all to stay as careful as possible. I'm going to stay on the lookout for Daemon or any other Digimon that's coming from the Dark Ocean or the Digital World to make sure that nothing bad happens, but it's still a risk that I would rather not take."
"We're all going to be fine," Taichi declared, rising to his feet once again. "We have to keep pressing on for the sake of all worlds. Daisuke is going to count on us coming out the other side even if he isn't able to fight alongside us. We're going to find a way to win against the Dark Ocean, and from there, we'll shift our attention to the world of fire."
Ken nodded, once again hearing the words but doing little to process them. He let out a small sigh, wishing that the knot in his chest would go away as he did so. He understood what everyone was trying to say, but he still couldn't get rid of the awful sensation that this wasn't going to go according to plan. It sounded like Daemon wasn't going to be the only creature that they went up against in the Dark Ocean; they were going to have to fight through the ruler of the Dark Ocean as well, and that would be much easier said than done. They were bound to be outnumbered if the battle against Daemon and the Deep Ones wasn't already evidence enough of that.
He looked down at his hands again. He hadn't heard Daemon's voice since the gate had closed and Daisuke was hurt. He knew that it was intentional; Daemon had already served his purpose for the time being of unsettling him and the rest of the team. The Dark Ocean was waiting for all of them, and it wasn't going to be holding back when they did pass through the barrier. Ken hated that he was in this situation to begin with, but he wasn't going to be able to stop it. After all, everyone was counting on him across all the worlds, and he couldn't let them down.
"Hey! Hikari!"
After the group disbanded and left behind the office, Miyako chased after Hikari while waving one arm above her head. Poromon was in her other hand, and Plotmon was trotting along at Hikari's feet. After a short while, Hikari came to a stop and slowly turned to face Miyako, her face so ghastly and hollow that it didn't even seem real. It was shocking to see Hikari look so upset given how often she was filled with life and positivity. Miyako felt as if she had been punched in the stomach at the mere sight of her companion's empty expression.
"Miyako," Hikari greeted simply, her voice just as hollow and devoid of life as everything else about her. When she stopped, she leaned over and scooped Plotmon into her grasp, stroking gently at the back of her partner's head. "Did you need something?"
"Are you... Are you going to be okay?" Miyako questioned, her voice uncertain and shaky. "I... I'm worried about you. I know that you're a strong person, but... I guess that just hearing all of this talk about the ruler of the Dark Ocean has me worried. You were personally targeted by this Digimon at one point, and... You seem so nervous and agitated about it."
"I don't want anyone to get hurt," Hikari replied, though she didn't go any further beyond that. Miyako waited for a moment, expecting Hikari to go on, but when her friend stopped there, all she could do was stare.
"We're going to be okay," Miyako assured her, doing her best to make herself believe it as well as Hikari. "We have a way to the Dark Ocean now, and we've figured out who we're up against. Since we know that it's Daemon, that should make things at least a little bit easier for us, right? Plus, we've got more powerful Digimon than before, and-"
"None of that was enough to keep Daisuke from getting hurt," Hikari cut in, her voice so soft and fragile that it seemed even the wind would be able to tear her words to pieces. Plotmon looked up at her partner with wide eyes filled with concern.
Miyako stared at Hikari for a long time too, unsure as to how she was meant to respond to that. She knew that Hikari was right though; they hadn't been able to keep Daisuke from getting hurt, and because of that, everything had fallen apart. Daemon had managed to escape, and even if they now had a way of getting into the Dark Ocean, it hardly felt worth it. They had been forced to sacrifice so much for their path to the enemy's domain, and Miyako didn't know what it was that they were going to do when they were in a place that put them at an even greater disadvantage.
"Yeah," Miyako finally said after a long silence. "I guess you're right." Poromon whined wordlessly in her arms, and Miyako resisted the urge to hold him close and never let go. Poromon hadn't had any close brushes with defeat that day, but she was paranoid about losing anyone in that moment. She knew that everyone else was in the same position; they were all afraid of losing one another after what had happened with Daisuke. The silent question that hung in the air was, who would be next?
"I don't want anyone to get hurt," Hikari repeated. "Fighting the ruler of the Dark Ocean isn't going to be easy. I'm sure that they're strong, and... We're going straight into the place where they're strongest. How is it that we're supposed to do this? I know that everyone promised that we'd be alright, but..."
"I think that there's more to this than you're telling me," Miyako finally told her companion. "I can just see it in your eyes, Hikari. There's something that you don't want to talk about. Keeping it bottled up isn't going to help you out, you know. Talk to me. Please."
Hikari was tense for a long moment, seemingly contemplating if she should explain herself or not. Eventually, she gave in with a sigh. "The ruler of the Dark Ocean came after me," she explained softly. "Or, at the very least, his Deep Ones wanted me for the sake of expanding their ruler's power."
"That was what happened the day that Takeru went after you," Miyako concluded. That day hadn't been discussed very often since it had taken place simply because Hikari and Takeru found it to be an uncomfortable subject at best. Hikari wanted to forget about it, and Takeru wasn't objecting to her preferences in the slightest. How could he? None of them could protest when push came to shove; she deserved this much, and they were all fully aware of it.
Hikari nodded. "I'm not going to let anyone get hurt," Hikari told Miyako. "One way or another, I'm going to make sure that everyone is fine... I-I don't want anything bad to happen while we're there."
Hikari was walking away before Miyako could fully process what was happening. Salamon gave a quick glance toward Miyako and Poromon before she vanished from view alongside her partner, leaving the air heavy and impossible to fully understand. Miyako stared at the place where Hikari had last been, her mouth slightly ajar out of some obligation that seemed a lot like shock and tasted like something vile.
"She didn't mean that she didn't want anyone to get hurt," Poromon began after a long moment of silence. He looked up to his partner, a jaded wisdom in his gaze that once again made Miyako's stomach feel like it was going to flip.
"She means that she doesn't want anyone to get hurt because of her," Miyako finished. It was this addition that added the tragic element to everything that had been bothering Hikari as of late, and Miyako felt her stomach do a flip for what felt like the thousandth time that day. Hikari had struggled with closing herself off from the world three years ago when they first met. Miyako had thought that she was mostly past that, but it seemed as if her assumptions had been wrong. Then again, recovery was never linear, and they all certainly needed a bit of room to recover from what had happened that day.
Miyako didn't know what to do, and as she walked the steps back to her family's apartment, she wondered if there was anything that would help what Hikari was going through. Hikari was going to do what she had all those years ago; she was going to try and push everyone away because of her false notions of what it meant to protect others. Hikari wouldn't be able to do anything on her own, and it was only going to hurt her at the end of the day, but she was going to keep closing herself away because she thought it was for the best. Hikari couldn't take on the weight of the world or the guilt of the universe, but she did it regardless because she didn't know what else to do when everything started to fall apart around her.
Once Miyako had gotten home, she sat down on her bed, setting Poromon beside her. She slammed one of her hands into the other, a fist into a palm, as she spoke. Poromon watched her with curiosity, his eyes wide but still somewhat shaded from the dark and tragic events of the day. "I'm going to defeat the ruler of the Dark Ocean," she declared, surprising even herself with how strong and steady her voice sounded in the midst of the silence. "For the sake of Hikari and everyone else on our team, I'm going to defeat the Dark Ocean's ruler, and nobody is going to stop me."
The office was ominously empty after most of the Chosen Children left. The final three left in the room were Koushiro, Mimi, and Jou. Hiraku had received a call asking him to return to the data bureau, and Daigo and Maki were forced to give a report to their superiors about the day's events. Atsuo had left alongside his companions, leaving behind only the trio of Chosen Children and their partners in the office.
It was ominous how quiet the space had gotten to be with the loss of everyone else's presence. Koushiro had taken his seat behind the desk where Hiraku had been, and he started to tap away at the keyboard out of curiosity, undoubtedly investigating what it was that Hiraku had been doing before forfeiting his position to take care of other business. Mimi and Jou, on the other hand, remained where they were close together on the couch's cushions. Even without anyone else there to require them to squeeze so everyone could sit, they refused to move. Pukamon and Tanemon rested in their partners' laps while Motimon elected to lounge on the desk, laying backwards as he watched the screen with his dark eyes.
"Do you ever think about... All this?" Mimi asked, the silence immediately falling apart around them. Koushiro's fingers ceased in their drumming, and he adjusted his office chair so that he was leaning sideways and looking around the screen to stare at her with wide, curious eyes.
"What do you mean?" Pukamon questioned, taking the words directly from Koushiro's lips before he could voice them. He didn't think that he would be able to ask the question even if he wanted to, knowing that something solid in his chest was going to keep him from trying to question Mimi even if he wanted to talk to her, which he most certainly did.
"I don't know," Mimi replied after a moment of hesitation. "Meiko and I... We've been talking a little bit, and... I'm worried. How is it that we got used to all of this? We're still just teenagers, but... Everything that's been happening... Until today, it was just normal for us. We've been used to fighting in giant battles for years now, and we barely bat an eyelash when it happened again. Meiko... She's really opened my eyes to all of this. She's been saying that it isn't normal."
"I suppose that it isn't normal," Jou began carefully. "Not everyone has a Digimon partner, and even among those that do have partners, they may not want to fight the way that we do. That means that the responsibility falls to us to look after the people of Earth and the occupants of the Digital World. We're doing this because that's what we've chosen to do. We made up our minds, and that's why we're here."
"That's not exactly what I mean," Mimi murmured. She opened her mouth a few times before pressing her lips shut, once again wrapped in contemplation. "I don't even know how to say it... When did we get so used to the idea of our own suffering?"
Nobody knew how to answer that question, and so, for a long time, none of them bothered. When the quiet was eventually disturbed once more, Mimi was the one responsible for it. "I don't know. All of this... It's terrifying. Fighting in giant battles isn't something that every children does. Most adults don't even get involved with this sort of thing. When did we accept that getting hurt all of the time was just part of the daily routine? When did we normalize the idea that we were just going to suffer? When did we stop recognizing that this is not a good experience to have?"
All Koushiro could do was stare. He knew what point Mimi was trying to get at, but he had no idea how he was meant to respond to it. She was right in saying that they had all been through a lot and gotten used to things that most children didn't have to experience. Their emotional responses to all of this had hardly been perfect, but they were still standing, and they were still together. They had come out of everything else on top, hadn't they?
Even though he didn't know how to phrase it, Koushiro knew that she was right. How could she not be? They had all gotten used to this ages ago, and Meiko was an outside perspective. She had been so eerily quiet as of late, no doubt contemplating what it meant to be a Chosen Child if it pointed in the direction of the pain that they had been brought. Meiko wasn't used to this the way that the rest of them were, and as such, she as immune to the rose-tinted glasses that they had all been wearing without even noticing.
"Meiko is right. This isn't normal. Daisuke shouldn't be in the hospital, and we shouldn't have to deal with remembering every awful thing that's ever happened years after the fact," Mimi continued, and Koushiro realized upon closer examination that there were tears in her eyes. Mimi rose to her feet, pulling Tanemon into her arms as she did so. "What happened to us?"
Before Koushiro, Jou, Motimon, or Pukamon could reply, Mimi left, and the door tapped shut quietly behind her. The room hung in heavy silence once again, and nobody knew quite what to say to fix the situation. Was there even anything that could fix it? Koushiro didn't think so. Mimi was right. He still remembered what had happened when Mugendramon tried to destroy a city while Koushiro was at the heart of it. It haunted him in his nightmares on dreadful nights the same way that the deaths of his Digimon allies did. He had been ten years old when he marched off to war, and he was sixteen years old as he continued to remember all that he had seen in the name of some faraway wish of destruction.
Koushiro didn't catch the exact words, but Jou mumbled some excuse for his departure as he rose to his feet and left the room. He was gone soon afterward, Pukamon clinging to his shoulder all the way. Koushiro waited for the telltale tap of the door before he let out a sigh and pressed his hands against his eyes. His fingers pinched at the bridge of his nose, and Koushiro wondered if there were tears in his eyes from the pain of his nails clawing accidentally at skin or because Mimi had a point darker than he wanted to acknowledge.
Koushiro didn't wait for his thoughts to ground themselves again. Instead, he just cleared his throat and looked back to his computer. If he didn't know how to respond, then he could at least try to focus on something productive. He was best when he distracted himself anyways, and he didn't want to think about this at all more than he had to. Motimon didn't say anything, instead just continuing to watch the screen as Koushiro got to work, but deep down, both of them knew that Mimi had a point.
Finally, they were seeing themselves from the outside, and they hated what they were faced with.
Iori was relieved to see that the apartment of the Hida family was empty when he arrived. He walked with Upamon into his room, the most hidden corner that he could find at a moment's notice, and sat down on his bed before looking down at the small Digimon in his hands. He couldn't find the words to speak no matter how much he wanted to speak.
He had changed. Something inside of him had shifted that day, and that was the reason that he was filled with such overwhelming guilt to begin with. Iori had always found life to be valuable, and even when it was absolutely necessary to kill a Digimon in the name of defending humans, he refused to the bitter end. It wasn't until he was shown the truth of the matter-that not everything was as easy as he would have liked to believe-that he finally relented, and even so, it was a difficult process. He knew that he made the right choice in giving Shakkoumon the order to carry out an execution. He had made the right decision, but that didn't change the guilt that he felt entirely. It still existed whether he wanted it to or not.
"They weren't Digimon," Upamon pointed out, already knowing what Iori was thinking about. The beasts that they had fought against that day were not Digimon according to the words of Hiraku, Maki, and Hikari. They were Deep Ones, and as far as Iori could tell, they were little more than shadows that could hardly be accused of having lived in the first place.
"But they could have been," Iori pressed in return. "We didn't know that they weren't Digimon when we started to fight back against then. For all we knew, they could have very easily been real Digimon, and then... Deep Ones may be somewhat alive. We don't know for sure, and we may never figure out the truth."
"The Deep Ones are such loose data that they barely even have a physical form," Upamon responded. "They were going to destroy the city if we didn't fight them back. Everything was already starting to fall apart, and... We had no choice."
"I..." Iori began, uncertain of where he wanted to go from there. It felt like he knew what words he wanted to speak but was entirely clueless as to how he was meant to phrase them. "I was angry. Daemon hurt Daisuke and could have hurt Ken or anyone else in the process. I just wanted them gone."
"Which is normal," Upamon chimed in. "You were trying to keep everyone safe. I know that you were. You didn't have to tell me to fight off the Deep Ones... I knew that was what you wanted. I could just feel it in your heart."
"What good is the Crest of Integrity if I broke my most firm foundation as soon as I helped you achieve this new evolution?" Iori questioned. The words spilled free of his lips carelessly, though he immediately wished that they would leave him be. When he was not granted such a blessing, all he could do was sigh.
"You did stay true to your beliefs though," Upamon said firmly. "You wanted to look after the rest of your team, and you did. Something really bad could have happened if you didn't jump into action, and you know it. We did what we had to. Daisuke could have gotten worse if we hadn't fought them off when we did."
"I suppose so," Iori murmured, though part of him still wasn't convinced. They had been fighting of the Deep Ones just to the point of retreat previously. The first group of Chosen Children might have had less of a problem with defeating the Deep Ones outright, but Iori still felt as if it was problematic. Something deep in his stomach still churned at the idea of what he had done. It felt like it was both a lifetime away and all too close at the same time, a constant cacophony of static in the darkest corners of his mind that would never depart no matter what tricks of exorcism he attempted.
"Would you do it again?" Upamon questioned, glancing up in Iori's direction quietly. When Iori stared back in surprise, Upamon continued to explain. "If you had to do all of that to defend your team again, would you do it?"
Iori didn't know how to respond to that at first. He opened his mouth to speak only to press his lips together once again just a few moments later. He repeated this cycle a few times before ultimately coming up short. He knew the answer, but he didn't want to admit it.
"I would," Iori said softly. That had always been the answer. If he had to defend his team, then he would do what he had to. He had to look after them no matter what happened. Even if he was uncertain, then he was going to have to continue fighting in the name of defending those that he cared for. If they hadn't stopped the Deep Ones there, then Daemon could have taken advantage of the chaos caused by his attack on Daisuke to push forward on the offensive, and that could have led to catastrophe all across the city.
"Then that should be your sign that we did the right thing," Upamon told him. "If we hadn't done that, then we would have risked seeing everyone else get hurt, and we don't want that to happen. We're going to look after everyone to make sure that they're okay no matter the situation. If that means fighting for them, then that's just how it has to be."
Iori nodded vacantly. He knew that Upamon had a point, but there was still something deep inside that refused to let him accept it. There was a rock deep in the pit of his stomach that made him feel nauseous just at the idea that he had done dreadful things earlier that day. He had made the right decision, but knowing that and accepting it were two entirely different beasts, and Iori could barely even manage to do one of those without wanting to be sick inside and out.
"Daisuke is going to be alright, and it's thanks to everyone in the team that he's going to be able to recover," Upamon continued to explain. "He wouldn't have been able to recover if you hadn't helped to fight off the invasion of enemies that were coming toward us. He could have been hurt even worse, but now... Everything is going to be okay."
"Thank you, Upamon," Iori whispered, his voice a hollow whisper that he could barely comprehend as belonging to himself. He swallowed dryly and pulled his partner into a hug close against his chest. He needed that extra security whether he was choosing to admit it or not. He had done something that he would otherwise object to, and that was something he was going to have to grapple with no matter how much he knew that he had done the right thing.
If there was one thing that Iori had learned in his time as a Chosen Child, it was that morality was one thing that he would never fully comprehend. He had felt it as he saw Ken show his side of purity for the first time. He had felt it as Oikawa turned to ash on the wind in his arms. He had felt it as he and SlashAngemon crushed a faction of Deep Ones in the name of defending their companions. Morality was a monster one way or another, and Iori could only hope that it didn't try to crush him when he averted his gaze.
Heavy is the crown.
Taichi arrived home before Hikari. She had wanted some time to herself, undoubtedly to reflect on all that had happened. Plotmon had promised to Taichi that she would look after Hikari, something that he nodded to in silent understanding. He knew that Hikari could handle herself, but he was fighting off the instinct to pull her close and not let her go. After all, what had happened that day was pushing him into something akin to desperation to keep everyone safe forever.
Taichi had been given the goggles by Daigo after he returned from dropping Daisuke off. Taichi didn't know how Daigo had known that he would be the one to need them, but he seemingly did. Perhaps it was a sign of one Chosen Children leader to another. Daigo had been the frontrunner of his team fifteen years prior, and something about his relationship to the goggles felt oddly sentimental in all of its quiet contemplation. The smile on his face had been as sad as it was exhausted, and Taichi had to wonder if perhaps there was a way for Daigo's energy to have drained almost completely in the short span of time since Daisuke was attacked.
Koromon sat down on the couch after hopping out of Taichi's arms, and the brown-haired teen accompanied his partner wordlessly. He pulled the goggles out of his hair and stared down at them silently. He had given Daisuke the goggles as a sign of a new generation, the start of an era, and it felt wrong to have been given them back under circumstances that were against their wishes. Daisuke hadn't been the one to willingly give Taichi the goggles back. It had been a matter of circumstance, and Taichi wished that this wasn't the case. Reality was harsh and unfeeling, and Taichi could sense its chill at the tips of his fingers where he touched the goggles gently.
Somehow, Taichi feared that they were going to fall apart if he scrutinized them too much. If he did anything out of the ordinary, then the goggles were going to splinter into a thousand pieces and disappear as if they had never existed in the first place. They felt fragile even though they were durable and had withstood the test of time ever since Taichi was a child. He had given them up in the name of a new beginning and the start of a new team, but that hadn't been enough. They had still worked their way back into his fingers, and everything about it felt wrong.
Taichi had heard stories of people getting hurt in the Digimon invasions. Of course he was aware of the harsh reality of the situation that he was in. Jou had mentioned a few times back when the initial attack took place that there were more people coming in with sprains and other injuries than ever before. The reasoning was clear, and it seemed as if that was just one of many ways that nobody could escape the destruction that was taking place around them. Everything was falling apart, whether it be places, people, or something sentimental and brutal simultaneously.
Somehow, all of that had been different though. Taichi felt as if it was a world away even though he was aware of the reality. After all, he hadn't been seeing the direct consequences in the context of somebody that he would do anything for. Recognizing recovering limps in students at school that he barely spoke to was one thing, but seeing Daisuke, so full of life and energy on a normal day, crumple to the ground with a weary smile that went against everything he had ever stood for was too much for Taichi to bear. He couldn't get the imagery out of his head no matter how hard he tried. It continued to sting at his subconscious again and again, like it was a pesky bug that wouldn't leave him alone until it had claimed him as its most notable quarry yet.
Taichi set the goggles down and forced his eyes shut as he leaned against the back rest cushion of the couch. He didn't know what to do, but he couldn't say much of anything even if he wanted to talk. He hated thinking about all of this. He shouldn't have been put in this situation in the first place, and Daisuke should have been fine. Taichi had grown close with Daisuke and the rest of the second generation with time, but there was something special about his relationship with his successor. Daisuke had taken up the mantle of Courage and Friendship during his earlier days as a Chosen Child, and imagining that something had happened to the one who had been such a beacon of optimism made Taichi want to be sick or throw something in his rage.
It was only by some experimental whisper in the back of his mind that Taichi picked up the goggles and slid them on top of his head once again. He had missed their weight in a strange way, and the only reason that he didn't immediately remove them was based on the sheer nostalgia factor. They were familiar in a way that was all too eerie. On one hand, it brought Taichi back to simpler days in the back of his mind, times when none of this had been a concern to begin with. On the other hand, Taichi shouldn't have had to wear them to begin with. They no longer belonged to him. Daisuke was the one who had to wear the goggles because that was the position that he had taken up. He was the leader of the second generation of Chosen Children. Even if he looked up to Taichi, that didn't change the fact that he was the one who led his team to success on multiple occasions.
"Never again," Taichi whispered. He opened his eyes and sat up to his full height. Koromon had dozed off beside him, undoubtedly a consequence of all the fighting that he had been doing that day. He had put in much more effort than he could have ever anticipated needing, and he needed to rest after fighting for so long as WarGreymon. The battle had been intense, and his mere presence was enough for Taichi.
Even if his partner was asleep, Taichi knew that his sentiment was understood. He had been named the unofficial leader of the Chosen Children in the past, and he was going to use that position to look out for everyone under his jurisdiction. Nothing like this was going to happen again. He refused to see any of his companions victimized by their foes, whether it be thanks to Daemon, the ruler of the Dark Ocean, or anyone else. It didn't matter to him; he was going to look out for those who needed him regardless of the circumstances.
Heavy is the crown, but high was the head that wore it.
The goggles were no longer streaked in blood, but they might as well have been.
And somehow, the story continues to get darker as everybody realizes just how dreadful things can get.
One thing that I feel is always important when exploring darker storylines like this is seeing how everyone responds. An emotional event doesn't mean much within the context of the universe if people aren't given a chance to respond or grow as a result. I love looking into all of that emotional stuff after the fact, and so, that's why I wanted to take a chapter to focus on this stuff. Don't worry though; there's going to be more after this to push us closer to the next battle with Daemon.
Speaking of Daemon, I'm doing a little clarification here on the matter of his name. I've been following the Japanese names up to this point, but Daemon is my one exception. It's not like there's much of a difference between them since the English name is just adding a letter and doesn't change the pronunciation, but I still prefer this spelling. It's just kind of a small thing, but I wanted to point it out anyways just in case anybody was curious about it.
That's all that there is to say on this chapter since once again, I think it speaks for itself in leaving all of the character moments there to sit and ruminate for future reference. Next week, we'll continue moving into the deeper territories of the Dark Ocean arc. Until then, I hope you all enjoyed. Feedback is always appreciated. Have a nice day, everyone!
-Digital