When did everything go so wrong?
Somehow, that was the one question on Ken's lips again and again each day. A week had passed since Daisuke was attacked, and it still felt as if everything was both barely real and all too real to Ken. The world was in a distorted stain glass box, but it was shoved into Ken's face at the same time. He couldn't figure out what it was he was supposed to feel, though he supposed that he wasn't meant to know the answer. Was he ever going to figure out what was going on? He didn't know, but he hoped that he did soon.
Daemon's voice had only gotten louder. The barrier between Earth and the Dark Ocean had only grown thinner thanks to the official intrusion from Daemon and the Deep Ones a week prior, and that made it all too easy for Daemon to reach though and make sure that his voice was heard even while they were in different worlds. Daemon had been honing his abilities, and it seemed as if this was one of the newest tricks that he had up his sleeve.
The nightmares were the same as ever too. Ken was used to hearing Daemon's voice, calling for the Dark Seed that was resting dormant in the base of his neck. He was just as used to Daemon narrating one of Ken's deepest traumas: the death of his brother. The anniversary of Osamu's death was steadily approaching, and while it had been years since his brother passed away, Ken still struggled at this same time every single year. He didn't know if it was ever going to get easier, but he sure as hell wasn't going to be recovering as long as Daemon was continuing to taunt him in the silent moments between major activities.
Ken had darted home quickly as soon as school ended, and from there, it was just a matter of picking up Wormmon before heading out to the hospital. This had become part of his routine; he visited Daisuke when the chance arose, just as a way of soothing his concerns and fulfilling a desire to be around others. Ken had neglected to ask Takeru and Hikari if they wanted to join him; he needed a few moments alone before he crossed paths with Daisuke. He had to compose himself given that he felt like his heart was being clawed at and torn out of his chest again and again with each passing second.
Once again, he asked when everything had gone so wrong.
The answer was a complicated one. He couldn't pinpoint the exact moment where everything fell apart because there hadn't been just one point where his life began to descend into chaos. There had been groundwork being laid for ages, and this was just the time when he became intimately aware of what was going on in the back of his head. Ken did know for sure that he wanted it all to stop as soon as possible. He had seen more than enough, and he wanted the Dark Ocean to either freeze over or turn to steam on the wind.
Of course, he said none of this as he reached for the doorknob to the hospital room. Wormmon was sitting on his shoulder, and nobody had bothered to ask why he was there as Ken entered the hospital again day after day. He was glad to not have to explain himself; he was tired enough as it was, and if there was any way for him to lessen the amount of activity he had to deal with, then he was going to take advantage of it.
"Ken!" Daisuke exclaimed once the door was opened in full. He was sitting in the same position that he had been the day before, waving enthusiastically with a smile that was so completely Daisuke in almost every way. The small changes were the parts that scared Ken the most; the differences were still there whether he wanted to admit it or not, and he hated that Daisuke was being put in this position in the first place. Veemon was sitting in a chair beside Daisuke, and his grin was almost perfect in every way with just a few cracks at the corner. Once again, Ken hated it.
"How are you feeling?" Ken questioned. He shut the door behind himself and sat down in the other chair in the room. Wormmon shifted to rest on his thighs rather than his shoulders, watching Daisuke with his wide and curious eyes.
"I'm doing fine enough," Daisuke shrugged. "Doing all of the homework outside of class is annoying though. It's going to be a while before I feel comfortable dealing with everything in school again. It seems to go in one ear and out the other."
"At least the semester is almost over," Ken pointed out. Their break was just around the corner, and from there, they were going to be able to travel to the Dark Ocean. That was the agreement the Chosen Children had come to; they were setting out for their destination as soon as they were all on break from school. It was the best idea, something that all of them agreed on.
"Where are your parents?" Wormmon questioned of Daisuke. His words prompted Ken to realize that his partner was right; Daisuke's parents were not present. Every other time that he or another member of the Chosen Children team had come, one of Daisuke's parents had been there. If it wasn't them, then Jun was there, her eyes tired in a way that they should have never been.
"I was able to push them into going back to work for today," Daisuke replied. "It took a lot of persuading. I'll just put it that way. Luckily, it gives me a bit of time to hang out here on my own before I'm released. It's not going to be long before I get to go home, after all."
"So... It's true?" Ken asked, his eyes wide. He had heard a few days ago that there was a possibility Daisuke would be released the next day, but nothing had been confirmed since then. He hadn't wanted to pester Daisuke on the matter in case it wound up being an uncomfortable subject for him, but it seemed as if Daisuke didn't mind.
"It is!" Daisuke responded happily, a wide grin on his face. "I'm going to be heading home tomorrow morning. I'm still not going to be free to head back to school or anything, but it's a start. I actually miss being able to see you, Takeru, and Hikari on a daily basis. It gets so boring and lonely in here. The first day or two, before Veemon was allowed to stick around, it was complete torture."
"That's good to hear," Ken smiled before letting out a sigh of relief. "We've all been really worried about you, Daisuke... I'm glad that you're going to be able to go back home soon. I'm looking forward to you feeling better."
"I'm better than I was," Daisuke assured him, though that was the same phrase that he had parroted each time that Ken came to see him. "They just decided to keep me here for a while longer so that they could make sure everything was fine and that I would be able to handle functioning on my own. It seems like they're happy with what they've seen, because I should be up and ready to go by the time that we start our invasion of the Dark Ocean."
Ken's blood ran cold. "You're coming with us?" he asked softly. He had heard that Daisuke wanted to come from Taichi and Hikari, but he didn't think that Daisuke was still going to insist on it. He was hoping that it would be something that was brought up once before it was forgotten. He should have known that Daisuke wouldn't allow it to slip by quite so easily.
"I want to," Daisuke explained simply. "Did you think that I was just going to leave you and the others to do this on your own? Of course not! I want to see what we can do together in the Dark Ocean. I feel like I have to do at least a little something to make sure that we're able to take care of everything. Plus, I want to get in a few hits on Daemon."
"We've got a score to settle with him!" Veemon chimed in, and it was clear as could be to Ken that Daisuke had managed to pull his partner under the idea of them going to the Dark Ocean as well. He resisted the urge to wince openly.
"Are you sure that you're going to be feeling well enough to do that?" Ken questioned carefully. He did want Daisuke to be there since his friend's presence always did at least a little something to calm him, but he would take his own discomfort over Daisuke placing himself in danger any day.
"I'm feeling a lot better already, and everybody here thinks that I'm going to be feeling mostly back to normal by the end of the week. As long as I don't put too much stress on my injuries, then everything is going to be fine," Daisuke replied. "You can't just ask me to not come to the Dark Ocean, you know. I know that you're worried about me, but you don't have to be. I know what I'm doing, and we're going to do what we can to pitch in when fighting against Daemon and the ruler of the Dark Ocean."
"It's not just physical injuries that I'm worried about here," Ken admitted, his voice soft and fragile enough to seem as if it would break if he spoke too loudly.
Daisuke stared at him in solemn silence for a long time. "We've got a duty to take care of, don't we?" he finally responded, though it was hardly an answer to Ken's concern. Everyone in the room knew it, and worry filled the eyes of Daisuke's three companions immediately.
"Even so, if you don't want to come along, then you don't have to," Ken reminded him. "If you need a break, then you should take it. You've been through something awful, and the rest of us can handle it if you think that you need to stay behind. All you need to do is say so."
"I want to come," Daisuke chimed in. "I really do. I want to make sure that everything is alright, and I want to make sure that Daemon never causes problems for anyone ever again. I'm going to make sure that everything turns out okay. I promise."
"Daisuke..." Ken whispered. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't seem to find the words that he was searching for to explain that he was worried about Daisuke's mind. Ken suffered from more than enough in terms of trauma and emotional turmoil, and the last thing that he wanted was to wish something like that on another person. Daisuke had put so much good into the world, and the idea of him suffering because of something so morbid and tragic made Ken want to be sick to his stomach.
"I told you that I would be fine, and I meant it," Daisuke attempted to assure him, but Ken could still see the way that his eyes were lying in the corners. Daisuke was trying to convince the world that his act was perfect, but everyone knew better than to believe him. He was struggling whether he wanted to admit it or not.
How could he not be struggling? Daemon could have killed him, and he was still pushing himself under the expectation that he would have to get up and keep fighting no matter what negative influences it had on him. Daisuke had always been fueled by his emotions one way or another, and it seemed that this situation with Daemon was no exception. Ken didn't expect anything else, but his concern remained all too present and painful regardless.
"You could have died," Ken said softly, his eyes falling into something crestfallen and terrified along the way. He hadn't said it out loud no matter how many times he thought about it. Focusing in class had become nearly impossible as long as his worries about Daisuke existed, and it seemed as if they never went away no matter what he tried to do to distract himself. How could he just roll over and forget so soon after something that could have ended so poorly? He would never be able to shove it to the past, and he knew that the rest of his teammates were in much the same category.
Daisuke was quiet for a long time before he spoke up again, but his voice was so weak and fragile that it could hardly be attributed to his name. "I'm fine," he assured Ken, though once again, nobody believed it in the slightest. Why would they? It was clear that there was more to this situation than met the eye, and there was nothing that would be able to change the fact of the matter.
Ken didn't say anything in response. He just stared at Daisuke with the sickening sensation of guilt starting to rise in his stomach. He could have prevented this. There must have been some other timeline out there where he stopped this from happening, right? Why hadn't he been strong enough to fight back when it really mattered?
This is all your fault.
Daemon's familiar words echoed back into Ken's mind, and he hunched over before clamping his hands over his ears. It would do little to stop noise that was whispering in the back of his head, but it was something, and Ken was willing to take whatever he could get in that moment. "Quiet," he whispered. Daemon's voice laughed, and Ken let out a small growl of frustration that he knew would amount to nothing but empty anger.
Daisuke looked up at Ken in curiosity but didn't say anything, undoubtedly trying to avoid the inevitable continuation of the conversation that would point to him as struggling more than he was willing to openly admit. Ken didn't need to keep talking to Daisuke to know that there was something going on, and one of these days, Daisuke was going to have to admit it. Running from pain would only lead to tragedy. That was one thing that Ken had learned thanks to the Chosen Children, and yet, it didn't keep him from repeating history in the present with guilt influencing his every action.
Ken was a hypocrite, and he was fully aware of it. Still, he wanted to be able to run away from everything that threatened to consume him when the quiet grew to be too loud. He wanted Daisuke to admit that he was hurting even if Ken had no idea how to fix it. He never wanted to feel this guilty again, but he knew that these were all burdens he was going to have to live with for the rest of his life.
This is all your fault.
"Ken already left today, huh?"
Takeru's voice was casual and laidback, hardly fitting for the situation that he knew he was in. Hikari perked up and nodded in response. "He's probably off to go see Ken at the hospital," Hikari responded. "He's been really worried ever since the attack took place, but... I guess that all of us have been in some way or another."
"Yeah," Takeru agreed with a light sigh. Worried didn't even begin to cover it. Walking home from school without Daisuke, and now without Daisuke and Ken, didn't feel right. It was like there was something missing from his life, and he knew that Hikari felt it too. It seemed like a member of their team was always messaging their group chat to say that they were going to see Daisuke in the hospital, a constant rotation of somebody being there with their fallen companion. Daisuke was getting closer to recovery and would be out of the hospital soon enough, but nobody wanted to take for granted what they had been given. They knew that it would be a sore mistake, especially after the close brush that they had endured earlier in the month.
"And when summer arrives... We're going to have to go to the Dark Ocean," Hikari murmured, her voice falling heavy and quiet. "We have to make sure that Daemon and the ruler of the Dark Ocean don't try to push the barrier between worlds any more than they already have... I don't know if the gate would be able to take any more of the pressure."
"Then we'll make sure that they can't lay it on," Takeru assured her, pressing a smile across his lips. He was an expert when it came to helping Hikari out of her moments of concern after spending so much time with her over the years, and he wanted to do what he could to lift her spirits. He knew that she could use it, and in a way, he needed it in his own way as well.
Neither one of them spoke for a while, and Takeru took the quiet as a chance to observe his conversational partner carefully. He had gotten better when it came to reading Hikari's emotions than he once had been. She had a habit of hiding her emotions, and while she had gotten significantly better about it than she once had been, Takeru could still tell that she was struggling. How could she not be? This was far from being an optimal situation to be in, and they were all having a hard time with this in some way or another. "You're scared, aren't you?" Takeru asked carefully.
Hikari didn't respond for a long time, instead continuing to stare at the way that her feet lined the familiar path back to her apartment. Takeru was going to make sure that she got home first the same way that he usually did, a habit that had been forged thanks to a fear of loss that ran deeper than any other trait inside of him seemed to. In other words, she had no way out of this, and she was going to have to reply sooner or later.
"I don't want anyone to get hurt," Hikari finally explained simply. She stopped walking for a brief moment and stared down at her hands with something distant and passive. "Daisuke... He shouldn't have gotten hurt in the first place. We all should have been looking out for him to make sure that he and Ken were going to be okay."
"We're going to make sure that everything is fine from here on out," Takeru assured her with a gentle smile. "I promise you that much. Daisuke might have gotten hurt, but... We're going to defend him and everybody else the same way that we always do. We're a team, and that means that none of us ever has to handle anything purely on their own."
Once again, Hikari fell silent, almost as if she was afraid of having to respond to that. Takeru knew what she was thinking about. If Daisuke wasn't going to be dealing with his hardships alone, then that meant that she wasn't going to be able to either. There would be other members of the team there to defend her even if she was struggling, and she wouldn't be able to run away from such an honest reality.
Takeru was hesitant when he next acted, but he carefully reached out his hand and placed it on Hikari's shoulder. She turned to look over at him with something unreadable but terrified manifesting in her eyes. "I'll look out for you," Takeru told her softly, his smile just a whisper on the wind but reassuring regardless. "We're teammates, and I... I'm not going to leave you alone to struggle. You don't have to do this by yourself. All of us are here for you, and we always will be. I promise."
Hikari continued to stare at him, and upon closer inspection, Takeru realized that there was a thin veil of glossiness crossing over her eyes. She was on the verge of tears, but she refused to let them fall. Speaking had become secondary in that moment. They both understood what was going on in the mind of the other, and that was what mattered most. No matter what happened, they would always be there for one another. Hikari would never be alone the same way that neither one of them would ever dare to abandon Daisuke, Ken, or any other member of their team.
"I mean it," Takeru whispered when he could have sworn that he saw a trace of doubt in her vision. He wanted her to know that she was going to be okay no matter what happened. He needed her to understand because in a way, he had to be aware of such a truth too.
Hikari continued to watch him for a long time before she suddenly stopped and threw her arms around his torso. Takeru returned the gesture quietly, knowing that he needed it just as much as she did. Part of him wanted to say more than that, but the writer inside of him knew that speaking was only going to muddle the beauty of the moment. It was poetic because of its silence, and they were going to be there for one another no matter what happened. That was part of what it meant for them to be Chosen Children. They had chosen this fate for themselves, and they had chosen one another as their teammates much the same.
Takeru lost track of time as he and Hikari continued to stand there, clinging to one another as if the other was all that they had left. He didn't mind it in the slightest; they had to look out for one another because of the nature of the work that they participated in. The silence said more than either of them could ever hope to put into words.
When they finally did pull away from one another, Hikari kept Takeru's fingers laced between her own. They continued to walk in the direction of the Yagami apartment, simply enjoying the fact that they were there for each other. They were still alive, and they were together. Those two truths seemed to outshine every doubt for a few brief moments even though they knew it wouldn't last. Sometimes, it was the little things that mattered the most, and Takeru committed every last detail to memory since he know that he would need this beautiful remembrance again.
It had become a dance of sorts, Mimi thought.
Was there any other word to describe it? She came to Meiko's door this way at least once every few days whether it be to individually work on their own respective homework or to just talk about the life that they had been leading over the past few months. Time had become a flash, and these meetings with Meiko every once in a while seemed to be the only consistency that Mimi could grab onto.
But they had taken on a darker meaning as of late. Mimi knew why, but she still hated to think about it. She had mentioned the subject to Koushiro and Jou the day that Daisuke got hurt, but she still couldn't seem to wrestle with her mind enough to get around the subject for even a short while. She didn't like being in this situation in the first place, though she didn't have much of a choice in the matter to begin with, did she?
Meiko was right, and that was the part that Mimi hated the most. She had always been the owner of the Crest of Sincerity, the marking that showed that she was empathetic and in-tune with the emotions of those around her along with the feelings that rushed through her own mind and body. She had thought that she knew what she was doing at least to some degree, but then everything had to change. Of course it did. These days, all she could do was stare at her hands and realize that this wasn't how life was supposed to be. It was the life that she had chosen and the life that had chosen her, but it was still somewhat twisted that she had to do this to begin with.
Mimi knocked on the door to the Mochizuki apartment regardless, pushing on her biggest smile as she did so. She suspected that the lady of the house was going to answer, and sure enough, that was what happened. Mimi was able to go through their regular song and dance of waving and asking one another how they were doing briefly, Palmon ever at her side the whole time. It was only after Mimi had been given the chance to go to Meiko's room-after her companion's mother had left temporarily-that she allowed the smile to slip from her face. Mimi let out a sigh and shook her head before she pushed the grin back onto her lips. That was what she needed to do, wasn't it?
Meiko's door was shut, something that hadn't always been normal but had become regular as of late. Meiko was having a hard time, and anyone could see it. She was nearly silent during the meetings with the rest of the Chosen Children, undoubtedly because she felt like an impostor in a place where she should have felt at home. Mimi was doing her best, but it seemed like this was something Meiko was going to have to figure out on her own. For every few steps forward that she took, Meiko seemed to slide back a little bit as well. Then again, it wasn't as if recovery was linear, and Mimi couldn't expect too much more than she had already gotten.
Palmon wound up knocking when they got to Meiko's door, and Meicoomon was the one to answer. Meiko wasn't entirely sure how the small orange cat had managed to get the door open, but she gave both Mimi and Meiko a nod when she came into view. "It's nice to see you again," Meicoomon greeted. Her voice was just as even and calculating as it always was, and Mimi smiled to herself at the sound of it. She needed something like that, something at least somewhat normal, given how ridiculous the past few months had been.
Meiko was sitting on her bed, but rather than curling up under the covers the way that she usually did, she was reading a book. Her black hair fell around her face in a thick curtain that blocked out almost all light from the outside world. It took a moment for her to notice that she had new company at all, and when she did look up, her eyes were wide. "M-Mimi... My apologies. I forgot that you were coming over," she murmured, swinging her feet over the side of her bed as she closed the book carefully.
"It's alright," Mimi assured her with a smile. She sat down beside Meiko and reached out carefully to take her friend's fingers between her own. "How are you doing? I know that the past few weeks have been hard."
Meiko laughed nervously, though it seemed like there was no other way that she laughed anymore given recent events. "I never thought that my high school days would be filled with fighting monsters as well as final exams," she confessed. "It's not going to be easy to get through this part of the year, but... We have a mission to take care of next week, so I can't exactly afford to slack off too much, huh...?"
"I guess not," Mimi hummed softly. She shook her head to dismiss any negative thoughts from her mind before opting to change the subject. "How is your father doing?"
"He's still at work a lot. Then again, I guess that's always been the case," Meiko shrugged. "He's got a lot to deal with these days because of the Digimon attacks, though I suppose that isn't really a surprise... He didn't like the idea of me going to the Dark Ocean next week with the rest of you, but... I think that he's realized that he can't really change what we have to do."
"Are you sure that you still want to do this?" Mimi questioned, trying her best to phrase the inquiry cautiously. "I know that you've been having a rough time lately, and if you don't think that you'll be able to come along, then all you have to do is say so."
"I'm going to be fine," Meiko assured her. "I have to be. This is the mission that we've been looking forward to taking care of for a while, isn't it? I'm not going to just leave you and the rest of the group to take care of it because I get scared at the last minute."
"I know that you're worried about this, but... I know that you're struggling," Mimi pushed. It wasn't that she particularly wanted Meiko to not come along; but she did want Meiko to think in the name of her own needs rather than concentrating on what she wanted to do for the sake of satisfying others.
"This is just what life is like for you guys, isn't it?" Meiko questioned. When Mimi didn't have a way to respond, Meiko continued. "I have to get used to it. Even if I'm not used to it now, I'm going to adapt soon enough. I have to. We've seen so much danger lately, and... If I'm not able to face it, then what good am I going to be to the rest of the team? I just have to get over it all, don't I?"
"You shouldn't have to get over it though," Mimi insisted, her voice bordering on agitation. "I didn't realize just how numb to it we were until you came here and said something, but... I guess that you're right. We were all children, and when we were given the chance to be the heroes of our own stories and save the world, I... I guess that we were all eager to take that for all that it meant without realizing what was hidden beneath that promise."
"In a way, the innocence of childhood was able to protect you from the harshest parts of that reality," Meiko murmured with a shake of her head. "I don't know if I'm cut out for this. I keep on going through cycles about all of this. One minute, I think that I'm fine, and the next, I just think that I'm never going to be able to live up to the expectations of you and the rest of the team. How could I? There's so much to do, and... This isn't what I was meant to do."
"Maybe not, but we all appreciate having you as part of our team," Mimi assured her. "You know... Not all of the Chosen Children out there have decided to become part of a fighting team. As we get closer to the Apex that Mr. Nishijima mentioned, we're going to be seeing a lot more people that have Digimon partners. There are going to be other people out there who don't want to fight, and that's alright. If you ever decide that you don't want to take to the battlefield in the future, all you have to do is say so. We aren't going to hold it against you, and the fact that you've already put this much effort into this is a clear sign of your bravery."
When Meiko looked over at Mimi, there were tears in her eyes. She pulled her glasses off and rubbed at her eyes before letting out a noise that sounded somewhere between a relieved laugh and a choke of a sob. "Thank you, Mimi," she finally managed to murmur. "I really do appreciate all that you're doing for me."
"We're teammates, and that means that we look out for one another," Mimi reminded her. She had been holding the idea close as could be over the span of the past few weeks. After Daisuke got hurt, Mimi felt as if the rug had been pulled out from under her feet. How could she at all feel secure in her daily life when everything had gone to chaos all of a sudden? Whenever she thought about it, all she could remember was the way that she had seen him smiling and happy so many other times. Suddenly being reminded of the hell that his life had become seemed unfitting both for Daisuke and the rest of the Chosen Children in a way that Mimi struggled to articulate.
"Thank you," Meiko whispered. "I didn't have a support system like this back in Tottori, you know. I... I spent a lot of time by myself. It was just me and Meicoomon for a long time. I didn't have all that many friends outside of her, and... Coming here for everybody to be so nice to me... It's refreshing."
Mimi didn't respond to that, giving Meiko the chance to go on if she so chose. Sure enough, Meiko sighed before she continued. Meicoomon moved a bit closer to her partner, her eyes stoic and detached. "I was bullied a lot back home. I couldn't really move past that, I suppose. I don't want anybody to do anything to betray me, because... I've gotten so used to the idea that not many people care about me. Meicoomon was the only one that I could count on before I came here, and... I feel like the least I can do to make it up to you all is to help you in fighting off these enemies. You've been so nice to me, and I feel like I have to do at least a little something to show you how grateful I am."
"You don't owe us anything for showing you basic kindness and respect," Mimi insisted. "This is what everybody should do for you, Meiko. I'm not going to change my mind on that no matter how much you insist that you owe us something for being nice to you. This is what you deserve, and the same applies to everybody else."
"If you don't want to fight with us, then you don't have to. We're still going to be your friends if you need to take a break," Palmon interjected. Meicoomon gave Meiko a pointed nudge, and Mimi wondered if perhaps Meiko had gone around in this song and dance individually with her partner.
"I... I do want to fight. I want to at least see this issue with Daemon through to the end. I might not know much about your team's history with him, but I'm going to do what I can for Daisuke's sake. He... He shouldn't have had to get hurt like that, and the least that I can do is try to help him out like this. I want to make sure that nobody else gets hurt the same way that Daisuke did," Meiko declared, her voice suddenly gaining the confidence that it had been sorely lacking previously.
"I'm glad to hear that, but if you realize along the way that you're pushing yourself too hard, all you have to do is say so," Mimi told her, squeezing Meiko's fingers gently. "We all understand. We've all had to take breaks from time to time... When my team was in the Digital World the first time, I... I had enough of fighting too. I left everybody behind because I couldn't take it anymore. When I was ready, I returned, and... Everybody understood why I had to do it. That was one of the most important times in my life for one reason or another, and it could help you out a lot too."
"Thank you for everything, Mimi," Meiko whispered. She pulled the other girl in close, and Mimi returned the gesture a moment later with a light smile on her face. She hadn't realized how much they both needed this until after the contact had already begun, and once it had started, Mimi never wanted it to end.
Neither one of them spoke for a while, just allowing the moment to play out in full. When Meiko finally did pull away, she let out a small sigh and shook her head before rubbing at her eyes. "I guess that I really can get in my own head sometimes, huh?" she murmured. "I've been so worked up over the idea that you would all turn on me if I didn't want to fight with you guys anymore."
"Do you really think that we're going to betray you so easily?" Mimi asked, her eyes wide in something between disappointment, sadness, and shock. Palmon's expression very much so mirrored her partner's in pure surprise.
Meiko shook her head frantically. "That isn't it at all! It's just... My fear of being left behind and abandoned, I suppose. I want to keep everyone happy so that they don't leave or betray me. It's a ridiculous fear to have, but... I can't really get it to go away no matter what I do."
"Then maybe your problem is the fact that you're trying to fight this off by yourself," Mimi smiled. "From now on, you aren't alone. You haven't been by yourself for quite some time, but... This is the moment that's going to mark the start of a new era for you. I'm going to make sure of that myself if I have to."
Meiko smiled, and tears actually began to stream down her face this time since she made no effort to wipe them away. "Thank you, Mimi," she whispered, each syllable a desperate attempt to convey how grateful she was. "Thank you for everything."
Miyako had been sitting in Koushiro's office for the past few hours since school had ended, and the two of them were staring intently at the screen sitting on his desk. As soon as they were able to get out of classes, they ran home and grabbed their partners before going back to the office so that they could discuss the most important subject of the day: their invasion of the Dark Ocean.
Each day brought them closer to their attack on Daemon's domain, and they had to know what they were doing in advance. Hiraku had gotten the gate working, but the team still had a few duties from their everyday civilian lives to take care of first. Koushiro was too buzzed up on his nervous energy to even think of sitting still, and that was why Miyako had offered to help him with his planning in the first place. She wanted to make sure that he wasn't tearing himself apart under the weight of his own anxiety, and she was tired of seeing him so jittery on the way to class each day.
Deep down though, Miyako knew that there was more to it than that. Koushiro had mentioned Mimi's comments about their issues with trauma from the day that Daisuke was attacked, and Miyako had been unable to deny the bitter truth found within Mimi's words. She had been struggling herself quite a bit since Daisuke got hurt, but she couldn't tell anybody that openly. She didn't know how to phrase it without starting to either scream or cry, and she didn't want to get into that can of worms if she could avoid it. Instead, she just opted to distract herself. After all, if she wasn't thinking about her emotions, they couldn't hurt her, right?
"That's about all that we can do for now," Koushiro told Miyako with a sigh as he leaned back in his chair. "We're still only working with the information that we've received from Qinglongmon and the first team of Chosen Children, and we aren't going to be able to do much more than this until we can hear more."
"Then again, we probably aren't going to hear more until after we get to the Dark Ocean," Miyako sighed with a shake of her head. She peeked her head out from around the computer screen in the direction of the couches. Hawkmon and Tentomon were both sharing a few snacks, though she could tell that they were trying to make it subtle that they were whispering to one another. Her eyes narrowed in her partner's direction, but Hawkmon either didn't notice or chose to pretend that nothing was wrong. He gave her a wave, and Miyako once again retreated behind the expansive shield of the screen.
Koushiro nodded, and the room fell silent. Miyako was the one to break through the quiet after just a handful of seconds when she couldn't take the silence any longer. Quiet would leave her time to think, and she couldn't do that with what had happened to Daisuke. Even seeing the color red in her daily life these days surprised her as memories of Daisuke's attack came flooding back to her. She wondered if remembering that was what it meant to drown under the weight of the past only to decide that she didn't want to answer.
"I wish that everybody would say something," Miyako finally managed to say. Thinking about others was a distraction; if she was trying to resolve their problems in her own Miyako way, then she wouldn't be thinking about her own problems. "I can tell that they're hurting, but they don't want to just fess up and admit it. I wish that they would talk about it out loud so that we could do something to help them out."
"Everyone is dealing with this in their own way, I suppose," Koushiro commented though it was clear that he felt much the same way. He looked down at the desk before he continued carefully. "I... I don't know how to help them. Each member of our team is coping differently, but... It doesn't seem as if anything will help to fix this."
"Because it barely seems like something that can be fixed in the first place," Miyako sighed in exasperation, leaning back in her chair to the point that it almost toppled over. She slammed her feet against the floor to regain her balance before she could sent sprawling backward. "I don't know what to do. It's annoying, and... I just want to talk to them about this, but they keep on just putting on smiles and acting like that's going to fix everything! It isn't that easy to just forget something like that, and... I don't know what to do. It's frustrating that I can't just... Just help them."
"Yeah," Koushiro agreed after a long pause. He sighed to himself. "I don't know what anyone could even say. Daisuke... He's still in the hospital, and yet, he wants to join us when we go to attack Daemon in the Dark Ocean next week. I don't know if it's a good idea for him to be up and moving around so soon, especially in the context of a fight."
"He's going home tomorrow, but he still has a lot to get through emotionally before he's willing to do much of anything to do with Daemon," Miyako snorted. "This whole thing is a bad situation. Ken is trying to pretend that what Daemon said and did isn't bothering him, Hikari is agitated because the Dark Ocean is back, and Daisuke nearly died during our battle last week! Iori hasn't said much of anything because he feels like he betrayed himself, and... It's not like anyone else on this team is much better."
"It's a shock to all of our systems," Koushiro concluded. "Mimi had a point when she said that we all got too used to the idea of our own suffering a long time ago. We've been relying on one another because we've been placed in so many difficult situations over the years. This... This is something that we can't recover from quite so easily, and that's why it seems as if everything is starting to fall apart. There's only so much stress that anything can take before it completely collapses."
"The worst part is that this isn't the time where we can just crumble to pieces," Miyako huffed. "We have to go to the Dark Ocean as soon as possible. Daemon isn't going to just roll over and wait for us to recover. He's going to lead another attack, and we're lucky that he hasn't come back here yet to take care of everything himself. We have to defeat him to make sure that the gate between worlds doesn't fall apart, and we can't afford to stumble or falter when we've come this far into the fight."
"We're going to find a way to come out of this on the other side," Koushiro told her, though it was clear that he wasn't entirely sure of if he was correct in the matter either. There was no way of saying for sure what was going to come next, and Miyako absolutely hated it. She had seen more than enough in terms of suffering from her friends as of late, and it made her want to scream and cry into her pillow until it all went away.
In a way, Miyako couldn't help but hate her empathy. She didn't want to be so easily influenced by the emotions of those around her. Everyone was struggling, and she could feel it each time that they looked into her eyes. She didn't want to see the people around her and immediately feel all of the ways that they were hurting and being torn apart by their own emotions. It helped her to understand what they were going through with all of her clumsy expertise, but she didn't want to be so constantly overwhelmed by it that she could barely think of functioning properly when everybody started to struggle.
This was where Miyako almost had to wonder if their support system was even functioning the way that it should have been. Her friends were falling apart, and they didn't know how to help each other. What were they supposed to do when it seemed as if anything that they could have tried to do would only fail and come up short? How was she meant to feel when her regular methods of helping others were falling painfully far from what she needed to be able to do? Why was it that the past was repeating itself in a dizzying cycle, but she still couldn't do anything to help it after being useless the first time? She wanted to punch something even though she knew that it was hardly effective.
Miyako knew that, to some extent, Koushiro was feeling much the same way. He didn't fully know how to phrase his thoughts on emotions, something that he had gotten better at over the years, but he had never fully grown out of his weakness on the matter. He understood this in a way that few others could, but she still didn't know what she was supposed to tell him when every part of her body felt like it was being ripped apart again and again with each passing second that she wasn't able to do anything to help.
But she didn't say any of this, the words getting caught in her chest and dissipating before she could voice them. "I hope so," she muttered instead. Miyako could hear Hawkmon and Tentomon continuing to talk from their place elsewhere in the office. Even if she couldn't quite make out their words, she knew that they were discussing the same subject that was screaming at full volume in the back of her mind.
Why do I feel so damn useless?
Daisuke's stomach didn't hurt anymore.
That was one of the things that he was most thankful for, he had to confess. Daisuke had been constantly cycling through different doses of pain medication ever since he was first attacked by Daemon, but the lingering pain in his torso never seemed to fully go away. It was frustrating at best and nauseating at worst. Being able to walk around his apartment without pain felt foreign to him even though he had been living this way for much of his life before he was attacked. It was dreadful how quickly everything could change, and it was even worse how easy it was for him to completely adapt to it along the way.
Daisuke was staying home alone for the time being under the strict instructions that if he started to feel at all bad, he had to call one of his parents immediately. They would come home if they had to look out for him, though he insisted that it would be fine since Veemon would be there. It had taken too much convincing in his opinion to get them to return to their daily lives, and in a way, it just made everything even more complicated for him.
The day of the attack was drawing closer. It seemed like Daisuke would glance over at the calendar on his wall once every few minutes to stare at the red circle that had appeared over the first Sunday of his summer vacation. If he was still in school, he would be taking tests at this point of the year. Instead, he was doing everything from home, wondering how the hell he was supposed to focus on exams when he was supposed to be in the Dark Ocean saving everyone from the inevitable invasion that Daemon was undoubtedly planning.
The public had been kept from finding out about the attack to make sure that there wasn't a widespread panic. The data bureau had covered it up, something that he learned from Miyako during one of her trips to his hospital room the previous week. The official story on the news was that a fight had broken out between high school students, and someone wound up caught in the crossfire. None of the stories ever cited Daisuke by name, something he was beyond relieved for; if the news realized that he was the victim, they would realize that it was wrong to say it was a fight among high schoolers. After all, he was still in middle school.
Veemon was asleep next to Daisuke, and the maroon-haired boy reached over and patted his partner on the head gently. He could tell that Veemon had been more impacted by all of this than he wanted others to believe. Digimon partners frequently shared the energy of their partners, and since his partner was hurting, Veemon was struggling as well. Even if he was exhausted though, it seemed as if Veemon couldn't ever sleep for long. Daisuke couldn't blame him; he was in much the same position.
Daisuke had been trying to not talk about it. He knew that there were some things that he couldn't afford to do when the invasion of the Dark Ocean was so close on the horizon, and one of them was making every member of his team worry by admitting that he had been struggling with nightmares ever since the attack took place. He couldn't get the image out of his head of Daemon slashing down at his body like it was nothing. When he woke up, it seemed as if he was always tainted by the phantom sensation of the cuts across his stomach. He knew realistically that the wounds had been healed and were starting to scar over. That much was evident each time that he raised his shirt to look down at the skin that had been changed so completely in such a short span of time. He couldn't stop staring at it, the evidence that he had survived something so completely beyond terrifying.
Daisuke refused to let all of this burden the rest of his team though. He knew that there were some things that a person just couldn't afford to hesitate on, and this was most certainly one of them. He had to focus on the fact that the attack was coming just around the corner, and if he didn't get himself ready for it, then he was going to suffer for it. The Dark Ocean was waiting for him, and he had to be ready to fight back against it no matter how much he wanted to scream in protest.
He would get over it one day. He just had to. Daisuke couldn't afford to hesitate as long as they were at this point of such peak danger. The Dark Ocean's forces could launch another attack at any given moment, and they were lucky to have gone so long without anything sparking and sending the city into chaos. In fact, they were lucky that they hadn't dragged other regular people into the fight. The fear of Digimon was high enough already because of the widespread invasion by the Emissaries of Chaos, and if another attack happened openly, then things would only get worse.
Daisuke had to be strong. He was used to wearing his heart on his sleeve. It was just how he was. He hadn't ever wanted to hide his emotions from the rest of the world. He had disliked it in the past when his companions did it, but all of a sudden, he was starting to understand. He had to focus on what was important, and the most crucial fact was the truth of the invasion that was steadily approaching. None of them could afford to falter. This was the most important point in the battle thus far, and they couldn't afford to fail.
It all felt mundane, really.
Going through the dizzying process of high school exams was so normal to Taichi that it almost hurt to think about. How was he supposed to just roll over and accept that this was his life when he had come so close to seeing Daisuke fall apart? He had almost seen someone die not long ago, and it felt criminal of him to just go back to his daily routine when he knew that it could happen again.
In a way, Taichi was relieved when the day of the invasion came. The Chosen Children had all taken care of speaking with their families about it, and while there had been a few protests (most notably from the Inoue and Motomiya families), the group was able to pull off the preliminary stages of their plan. All they had to do from there was get into the Dark Ocean and execute Daemon before anything could happen to cause the situation to grow worse.
They wound up gathering in Koushiro's room. They had all pulled together the things that they would need for the sake of their survival and upcoming battle in the Dark Ocean. There was food, water, clothes, and more found in all of their bags of supplies. They didn't know how long they were going to be there, but Jou and Mimi took care to ensure that they would be prepared for up to a week of time in the Dark Ocean. They didn't want to be there for that long, but it was best to be safe rather than sorry. Taichi had understood that fact intimately over the past few weeks since Daisuke got hurt, and he almost hated having to face his own mortality again in such a brutal way.
Everyone was crestfallen but trying to hide it as they stood in Koushiro's bedroom that Sunday morning. They had already made their peace with the previous generation of Chosen Children the day before. Maki told them to be careful with something tense in her eyes. Daigo waved in that exhausted way he always did. Hiraku supplied them once again with all the information they already knew. Atsuo gave them an iconic smile and a thumbs-up, though that did little to break through the darkened atmosphere. They all passed on a message from Kaya and Chisane wishing them the best luck as they pressed on toward the most terrifying place that any of them had ever known.
Koushiro typed away at his computer screen rather than messing with his trusty laptop. Tentomon flew beside him, and the two had the largest pocket of air in the crowded space. On the other hand, the space near Daisuke and Veemon was the most compressed. Everyone wanted a reminder that Daisuke was still alive and would continue to fight with them. Taichi bitterly wondered if things would ever be the same, and in a way, he yearned for the same blissful ignorance he had once had as a child.
"Alright," Koushiro suddenly announced, and Taichi perked up. In a way, it was impossible to believe that less than forty-eight hours prior, they had been living out regular lives as students in school, finishing up the first semester of the year and waving their other friends goodbye for the summer. They had endured exams and daily hardships, but none of them could have done anything to prepare them for the battle that they were about to go running into without any thoughts as to what could happen to themselves while still clinging desperately to one another.
Koushiro's eyes were starting to take on that same old weary quality that he had seen in Daigo's gaze, but none of them knew quite how to acknowledge it. Instead, they chose to stay silent as they concentrated on the computer screen. The gate was open, and it had been engineered in a way that would allow them passage with the help of their Digivices. They hadn't ever gone to the Dark Ocean in this way before, but it was their only choice. The ties of Ken's Digivice to the Dark Ocean had been worn thin over the years, so all of them were going to have step up and do what they could in the name of this upcoming battle.
Taichi looked down at his Digivice with passive eyes and let out a small sigh to himself. He felt Agumon's claws touch his other hand, and he gave a smile to his partner. He was glad to have been given a reason to smile for the first time in what felt like forever. It had only been a few weeks, but at the same time, it all felt like an eternity.
"It's time to go," Koushiro announced. The rest of the group nodded their understanding, and Taichi gave a glance in Daisuke's direction. He hadn't yet reclaimed his goggles from Taichi even though Taichi wanted nothing more than to hand the crown off to their true owner. When Taichi tried, all Daisuke did was find a reason to deny the fact that he deserved them in the firt place, and with each word that Daisuke spoke on the matter, the crown on Taichi's head just got heavier and heavier.
Still, he held his head high and pretended to be a king as he pushed his Digivice through the air in the direction of the computer screen. The gate sparked to life, and all of the other Chosen Children followed suit. Thirteen Digivices stretched in the direction of their new tomorrow, unsure of what they were going to find but reaching out for it regardless. After all, this was the path that they had chosen, and the same path had chosen them.
The world melted away, and Taichi bid goodbye to the last remaining whispers of the ordinary. For a time from then on, life was going to be dreary within the Dark Ocean, but even so, he refused to let history repeat itself. It wasn't even something he could promise, but he was going to try regardless.
Man. Sad chapter, huh?
I've said this before, but I really do like exploring the consequences of events that happen within a story. I feel like there are many different works of fiction out there that have emotional events but neglect to explore what all of that means for the characters within the context of the universe, and to me, that's always been one of the most important parts. You really can tell that this is where the character development starts to kick off, huh?
Next chapter is where we're going to get back to the action again after a few chapters of just angst talking about the character growth of the cast and the consequences of what happened to Daisuke. I feel like that's a given since the cast is getting to the Dark Ocean at long last, and that means that everything is going to fall apart from here. I will say that these next few chapters are where we get another handful of evolutions. I've got a few extra tricks up my sleeve aside from just the Ultimate level partners, to say the least, though the specifics are my little secret.
With all of that said, I'm going to call the author's note here. Next time, we'll continue act three and arrive in the Dark Ocean at last. Until then, I hope you all enjoyed! Feedback is always appreciated. Have a nice day, everyone!
-Digital