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Thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed or reviewed this fic so far.
Thank you very much to Brainstorm Sorcerer for his help.
Chapter 17- A bloody puppet
Los Angeles
The television set was on, and a children's TV show called "Smile Time" started playing. The set had a blue doghouse and a treehouse with a ladder leading to it. A very simplistic song started playing, and the puppets appeared.
There was a brown dog puppet in the doghouse and two children puppets in the treehouse. The boy puppet had red hair and wears overalls and a baseball cap backwards on his head. The girl puppet had brown hair in pigtails on her head, fastened with daisy barrettes.
"In our secret backyard we can make your day more fun and less hard", the children and dog stood together, "no more frowning, let's get learning ABC's and 123's everything from words to weather."
A young boy sitting in his pajamas on the couch was watching the television. The boy had a thermometer in his mouth.
The puppet dog sang in a gravelly voice. "We'll discover them together Woof!"
All puppets sang. "Time to strap your thinking cap on thinking things are going to happen..."
The boy's mom paced nearby on the phone. "Because he's still sick, Ma. He can't keep anything down." She took the thermometer from the boy's mouth, standing between him and the TV. "Yeah, and he's running a temperature." The boy tried to look around his mom so he could see the TV. "Well, what am I supposed to do? My shift starts in half an hour. Yes."
The puppets were singing together, in a hug with a large formless purple puppet with a musical horn where his nose and mouth should be.
"Every day's a new beginning all your friends are here and grinning 'cause it's smile time."
"No, Ma, I can't", she paced, wandering away from the TV and Tommy.
"That's right! You're on smile time." They repeated the song from the beginning.
The puppet boy separated from the singing group; came up to the TV screen, pressed both hands to it and watched the mother leave. "Oh, good. She's gone. OK, Tommy, you know what to do."
Tommy shook his head.
"Tommy, you should never break a promise. You don't wanna be a bad apple, do you? Come on. You know smile time isn't free." He got angry. "Now get over here and touch it."
Tommy stood and walked toward the TV. "That's it, Tommy. Come on. Touch it!" When Tommy put both his hands on the TV screen, the puppet started moaning with pleasure. "Ohh! Ohh... that's it."
Tommy's face was paler, and he had dark circles under his eyes.
"Oh, yeah. Good boy, Tommy."
Tommy's eyes rolled back in his head.
"Oh...ohhh..."
Tommy collapsed and fell to the ground.
When the mother started walking back toward the TV room, the puppet boy saw her and gasped. He headed back to join the singing group again.
"OK, Tommy, grandma's gonna be here in a few hours. Listen, I don't want you watching that crap all day long..." She looked up at the boy and stopped in her tracks.
Tommy was lying on the floor where he collapsed, only his face was frozen in a creepy smile.
Meanwhile, the puppets were still singing in the background on television.
"'cause it's Smile Time. That's right! You're on Smile Time!"
Fred was looking into a microscope in the lab when Knox walked out of her office carrying papers, handing them to her. "Courier brought this in. Looks medical."
"Oh, right. Good", Fred flipped through the papers.
"So, what do you got?"
Fred read the reports. "Mini epidemic here in L.A. 11 children between the ages of 5 and 8 hospitalized due to collapse over the last 3 weeks. None of them have woken up. I'm working under the assumption that this thing is mystical in nature."
"Oh, why's that?"
Fred took a picture from the report and showed it to Knox. The picture showed a child in the same position as Tommy—his hands were up beside his face, which was frozen in an eerie smile.
"Right. Could be the Joker", Fred glared at him disapprovingly. "From the comic books? Just trying to think outside the box."
Fred looked back at the papers to see a greeting card had been slipped into the stack. She took it out to read it. The front, edged with pink and red hearts, depicted a monkey holding a heart and read "I don't wanna monkey with your heart."
She opened it. The inside read "Happy Valentine's Day" in red letters.
"I know Valentine's was last week, but, um..." Fred looked at him hesitantly. "I didn't take the discount on the card."
Fred smiled politely. "Thanks. Um..." She got uncomfortable. "We talked about this."
Knox was sheepish. "I was thinking maybe we could talk about it again."
Fred sighed, shaking her head, and handed him the card and vials of blood. "I'm sorry, Knox, but you have work to do."
Knox looked at her, then backed away slowly, nodding. "I do."
The elevator doors opened, and Nina stepped out. She looked around the lobby expectantly. A demon wearing a suit walked by her talking on a cell phone.
"Hey wolf-girl", Cordelia greeted as she walked to Nina and they shared a hug.
"Hi", Nina greeted as Angel walked down the stairs toward the lobby while reading a file.
"Um... hey!"
"Hey", Angel greeted. "Back for the Wolfram & Hart Bed-and-Breakfast?"
Nina smiled. "Full moon cycle starts tonight, in..." She checked her watch. "38 minutes, actually. Had a little snag getting out of the house."
Angel signed a document a legal aide handed him. "Haven't told your sister yet, huh?"
"It's not the sort of thing that's easy to jump to in conversation. "Oh, by the way, Jill, I've been a werewolf for 4 months.""
"Really? I was friends with another one before and when he became one due to being bitten by his cousin, he just asked if the cousin was a werewolf and BAM!" Cordelia said, surprising Nina.
"Wow."
Angel handed off the documents he was signing and walked toward his office; Cordelia and Nina followed.
"I told her I was going camping in the desert again. She's starting to worry I've turned into some new agey, moon-worshipping Wicca person."
"Might be relieved to find out that you're just a werewolf." Nina chuckled.
Harmony called out to Nina. "Hey, there, Nina. We've got your suite ready."
Cordelia assured Harmony. "We're taking her to the suite."
Nina waved to Harmony. "Bye!"
Gunn arrived. "Harmony, did you get a receipt from the county clerk on that filing I did for the Wayburn case?"
Harmony revealed. "Oh! Yeah. Clerk's office called, said you filed the wrong papers."
"What?"
"Yeah", Harmony looked at her notepad. "Um, you sent them a motion for change of venue instead of a motion to dismiss. Unless you meant to do that. Some kind of tricky lawyer maneuvering you're trying to pull. That it?"
"Yeah. Keep 'em on their toes", Gunn walked away, looking worried.
Matt was sitting with Lilah as an attorney called Travis against whom they were fighting a case walked in.
"Murdock, I'm gonna do you a favor. Would you tell Lilah Morgan to take a hike?" Travis asked.
"She can stay", Matt shrugged as Lilah smirked.
"Okay", Travis sighed and sat down. "95 of your plaintiffs have already called me about the settlement. It's a matter of time before the rest of them see the light. I win."
"I don't know the last time you checked but as of this morning, all 200 of my plaintiffs are staying with me", Matt revealed.
"Bullshit."
"I got them in advance against their settlement."
"No finance company in their right mind will back your suit", Travis pointed out when Lilah handed him a cheque.
"I don't know if they taught Math as Yale but that's five million, $25,000 a plaintiff. Exactly what you tried to buy them off for", Matt said as Travis looked at the cheque.
"You know what this means, I'm gonna hammer them all one by one, break them down and its gonna get ugly", Travis said with no sympathy.
"No you're not", Matt forwarded a little recorder.
"What the hell is that?"
"It's a conversation between you and Emerson Petroleum discussing how you sent a man to intimidate Kenny Verdasco, take a listen." No response. "Don't worry, it won't make you blind like me."
"No matter what that is, its not admissible unless of course you had a warrant which you didn't", Travis pointed out.
Lilah looked between them both as Matt shrugged. "Showed up on my doorstep and I declared that in this affidavit which I'm about to send to court."
"Hmmm", Travis noted. "So you're gonna perjure yourself just to win this case."
"No, I'm not gonna perjure myself. Even if I were, it wouldn't be just to win this case but to get your ass thrown in jail", Matt said with a shrug. "See, you have power of attorney and you're gonna accept this settlement. Two million dollars a plaintiff. You're gonna take it, then you're gonna fly back to Boston and never come back to any of my towns again."
Matt then handed Travis a contract as he glared in defeat. Lilah leaned forwards and handed Travis a sharpie. "You can use mine."
Travis took it, tapped it for a few seconds, then shook his head and signed before getting up and walking out.
"Told you I'd get his autograph", Matt said as Lilah chuckled.
"I can't believe you, you were gonna perjure yourself just to win, I thought you didn't cross lines, not even at a place like this. That's the difference between you and us", Lilah said to Matt, a little surprised.
"I had no intention of submitting this affidavit", Matt revealed. "I'm not gonna perjure myself, but he doesn't know that and he never will."
"How do you know?"
"Because a man willing to break the rules can't imagine someone wouldn't."
Lilah sighed and admitted. "You always were the best lawyer I knew, at top of the class too."
"Thanks", Matt thanked her.
Angel opened the door to the basement room. Inside, there was a cage with metal bars.
"Seems like you're getting used to the routine, though."
"Yeah", Nina walked into the cage.
"You know, we're trying to get into contact with a werewolf friend of ours", Cordelia told Nina. "Though I lost track of him somewhere between Romania and Symkaria."
"You really think she needs that? She's getting used now", Angel said as the two started walking off.
"So was our friend, then what happened?" Cordelia reminded as they bickered like a married couple.
Nina wondered if she could ever have something like that.
Angel walked to Matt's office where he was working and asked. "Where's our head of humans/non-humans relations?"
"She's at the apartment, depressed."
Angel was confused. "Why? She and you just got married, she's happier than I have ever seen her."
Then Matt got out his phone, "Marci sent us this during breakfast."
Angel took the phone and saw a picture of Foggy in bed with the puppy, Bear curled up on Foggy's chest, the caption saying, "Foggy Bear and Baby Bear."
"Faith REALLY loves that puppy."
"No kidding." Angel said as he handed back the phone.
Gunn then arrived. "Matt, they are here."
"I'm coming", Matt said as he walked past Angel with Gunn. "Work to do."
Matt, Lilah and Gunn sat down together with the inventor as some members of the corporation against him sat in front of the lawyers.
"We came down here because you made us believe your client is ready to accept our settlement", one member said.
"And I thought he would", Gunn said, then started pacing. "I took the offer, I presented it to him and recommended he take it because…."
Gunn trailed off, confusing Matt and Lilah as Matt sensed his nervousness, while Lilah decided to take over now. "We urged him to take it. And you know what he told us to do? He told us to tell you to shove it up your ass."
The inventor smirked as the corporation members laughed, and Matt took over now. "That's not all he said. He said rather than spending his years in court, for 48 hours, he is going to put up this." The inventor pressed a button and the specifications for his invention appeared on the computers nearby.
"Online", Matt finished.
"For 48 hours", Lilah added. "A little rough but you get the idea."
"What is this? Are you showing us a website?" One guy asked.
"Oh yes", Matt said. "Its his domain."
"All designs and calculations have been uploaded", the inventor added. "So whole world will have access to my design."
"There will be 10 knock-offs of that phone before you can catch a cab back to your headquarters", Lilah told them all.
"We could file an injunction", one guy said.
"Not before tomorrow and once that technology is out there, good luck putting that genie back in the bottle", Matt smirked.
"Well then, we'll sue!"
"Our client won't have any money, what he will have is credit for the original design which, after he incorporates under a different name….." Gunn trailed off again, as Lilah sighed.
"He'll be a hell of a lot more worth it than the 20 million dollars you're offering", Lilah took over and finished it.
"You're saying this was all the client's idea?" One guy then asked.
"Yes, that's what we're saying", Matt smirked.
A while later, the inventor thanked all three lawyers for taking up his case, even hugging them, and then went off, grateful.
"Feels good to do good, doesn't it?" Matt asked Lilah.
"Nah, amusing though", Lilah shrugged before turning to Gunn. "What was the matter with you today?"
"Yeah, you trailed off quite a bit", Matt noted. "Everything okay?"
"Think I'm just having an off-day", Gunn confessed. "Sorry."
"It happens", Matt assured.
Angel was in his office with Cordelia and Wesley, Connor playing in the play area as Fred arrived.
"Hey, guys. I—I think I have a case."
"What is it?" Cordelia asked as Fred handed Angel a file.
"Children's epidemic. 7 kids, comatose, each with a semi-rictus of the facial muscles. I haven't been able to isolate a causative agent."
Wesley realized. "You think it's mystical."
Fred shrugged. "Well, I've been down the strictly physiological route, number-crunched all the victims' charts, even had our hospital contacts send over blood samples. I've pulled all their plasma apart. No indicators on the cellular or subcellular levels."
Angel flipped through the files. "TV."
Fred turned to Angel. "What?"
"Parents said all the kids collapsed between 7:00 and... looks like 7:30 A.M. And all of them in front of the TV", Angel explained.
Fred agreed. "Huh. That could be something, but I'd still like to get a handle on the pathology."
"Guess TV slots need checking, children's that is", Cordelia told them.
Angel agreed. "I'll—I'll follow up on this lead. I'll need to clear my schedule. These kids need help." He walked out.
"Wow", Fred turned to face the other two. "He really jumped on that one."
Cordelia narrowed her eyes. "Yeah, he did." Then Connor made a noise, and they all smelt his need for a diaper change, and Cordelia realized why Angel left so fast. "That cowardly, son of a-" she paused and looked at Connor apologetically, him staring back confused, and then looked away "-bee sting!"
"Let's change him", Wesley said as he and Cordelia did so.
"All right, I'll go", Fred said as she made to move away but Cordelia grabbed her arm and dragged her away. "What?"
Cordelia led Fred to her own office and placed her onto the chair, before sitting in front of her. "So, tell me."
"Tell you what?"
"How was your time with Steve Rogers aka Captain America at the wedding?" Cordelia asked with a smirk as Fred blushed. "Queen C or not, I keep up with the gossip."
"Oh come on, it was just-"
"Looked more than that to me."
"Okay fine", Fred sighed. "We talked, then we-"
"Talked about what?"
Fred realized Cordelia wouldn't let this go till she had all details.
Lorne was sitting on the edge of Angel's desk while Angel reviewed papers.
Lorne sighed. "I planned the wedding of people's dreams, now we are trying to find the cause of sick children thanks to a TV show. Isn't life sick sometimes?"
"Focus Lorne", Angel urged him.
Lorne leafed through it all. "Your wish, dreamboat, my command. I know most of the show runners in town, and none of them are really up to this sort of big-league, sinister..." He stopped abruptly. "Hey..." He chuckled. "7:00 to 7:30?"
Angel looked up. "Yeah."
"Well, that'd be funny... you know, if it wasn't."
"What?"
Lorne revealed. "Real popular kids' show in the So-Cal regional market. It's in the right time slot. It's in the right demographic."
"What's it called?"
Lorne held up the picture of the kid frozen in an eerie smile for Angel to see. ""Smile Time"."
On the set of KTCE, in a section marked "Closed Set. Absolutely NO VISITORS", Angel walked down the empty office hallway at night. He heard a squeaking noise, and a janitor pushed a wheeled trashcan around the corner.
Angel didn't move, and the janitor walked toward him without noticing him. Angel waved his hand in front of the man's face, but still no reaction. The janitor walked on past Angel.
Angel walked into the "Smile Time" offices. The room was decorated with the show's logo of a smiling sunshine, plus cardboard cutouts of the puppets were placed around the room.
Angel investigated a throbbing rumble coming from somewhere nearby. He looked around the room, following the noise until he saw a rattling file cabinet on one wall.
He moved the cabinet out a bit, revealing a hole had been cut in the wall behind it. The rumbling noise was louder now, and Angel walked through the hole into the secret hall beyond it.
Angel flipped on a buzzing light overhead, revealing a set of doors at the end of the hall labelled simply "Don't". The rumbling grew louder as Angel approached the padlocked doors. He pulled the padlock off with ease, opened the doors, and walked into the hidden room.
At the far end of the room, a man was sitting, hunched over resting his elbows on his knees wearing a towel over his head, underneath a large, metallic, egg-shaped, glowing thing. Angel walked up to the man, but the man didn't get up or remove the towel from his head.
Suddenly, the man's hands started twitching, and the man struggled to speak. "You shouldn't... be here."
The rumbling sound got louder and louder. The large metal oval slitted open along its bottom curve, forming a bright, glowing smile-shaped opening.
When the "smile" was fully formed, a jolt of power thrusts Angel across the room. He landed in some boxes that were stacked against the wall, and he gets covered by them. The metal oval object stopped smiling, and the rumbling noise went back to a dull roar.
The boxes that covered Angel moved a bit, and a puppet's hand reached out from them. The puppet pulled itself up to reveal that it looked a lot like Angel with black hair that stuck straight up, wearing a black leather duster and the same outfit Angel was wearing before.
The puppet Angel looked at his hands, confused.
"Huh?"
Fred was working at her desk in front of the computer when her phone rang. She answered it on speakerphone. "Practical science."
Angel's voice said. "Uh, Fred..."
Fred greeted. "Oh, hi, Angel. Listen, about the epidemic, it might not be mystical after all."
"Do you think you could—"
Fred interrupted. "Knox found a systematic endocrine dysfunction common with all the children similar to the effects of an obscure rain-forest pathogen—"
"Fred..."
She continued to talk over Angel. "...So I put a call in to the C.D.C., And—"
"Fred!"
Fred stopped talking, and Angel spoke in a softer voice, but still irritated. "Believe me, it's mystical."
Fred poked her head into Angel's office. Angel was sitting in his chair, facing his back wall where he can't be seen from the doorway. "Angel? You all right?"
Fred walked into the office, followed by Gunn and Wesley. Gunn commented. "You sounded weird on the phone."
Wesley asked. "Yes. Is there a problem?"
Matt then entered, looking weirded out as he had sensed a lot of moving felt in place of cold flesh, what was going on?
"Oh, there's a problem." Puppet Angel turned around in his office chair so that the gang could see him in puppet form, except Matt who now realized it was true.
Gunn stepped back. "Whoa."
Wesley looked carefully. "Angel? Is that...you?"
"Oh, my God!" Fred rushed to Angel's side. "Angel, you're..." She shrugged and smiled, "cute!"
Puppet Angel turned away, holding his hand up. "Fred, don't."
Fred bent over to inspect Angel's new form excitedly. "Oh, but the little hands! And the hair..." She scratched his head.
Puppet Angel snapped. "Hey! You're fired." Fred frowned.
Lilah and Stick then arrived, and then the whole office was filled with the latter's laughter.
"Suckhead becomes muppet, AHAHAHAHAHA!" Stick actually fell down laughing as Puppet Angel groaned, and Stick just continued laughing like that.
"So my boss is a muppet now, huh?" Lilah snickered. "This firm has really fallen."
"Boss can still fire you", Puppet Angel reminded.
"For being called a muppet when he is one?" Lilah asked, snickering more now.
Stick was still laughing loudly.
Lorne and Groo walked into the office, the former saying. "Sorry I am late, gang."
He looked at Puppet Angel and chuckled. "What's with the big... puppet?"
Groo said. "You look so cuddly and warm that I can't seem to control myself."
He moved to actually hug Puppet Angel but he raised his hand. "Nope." Groo stopped.
Cordelia then entered with baby Connor, confused by the still laughing Stick. "What is the big-" she yelped at seeing puppet Angel, clutching Connor to her chest, "Whowhatwherewhenwhy?! She asked in rapid fire.
"And then that happened", Puppet Angel groaned.
Puppet Angel looked at his hands as Wesley asked. "Angel, what happened?"
Puppet Angel revealed. "I'm not sure. I went over to Smile Time last night, and I think their office is under some kind of spell. I could feel it trying to get at me. I—I shook it off, but then I met this guy with a towel over his head, and something exploded! I woke up like this. Ugh."
All shifted uncomfortably as Wesley said. "Clearly some sort of hex... or a—a powerful warding magic."
Lorne shrugged. "Maybe it's some type of puppet cancer."
Puppet Angel said through gritted teeth. "I do not have puppet cancer!"
"My boyfriend is a puppet now!" Cordelia snapped as Connor was trying to reach out to Puppet Angel to play with him.
"Come on, guys. This is a serious situation. I'm a puppet, and there are children's lives at..." he gasped as he glanced at the clock. "Hey, it's Smile Time!"
He hurried out of his chair toward the television set; trying to turn on the TV via remote control. "Hmm..." He grumbled as he fumbled with the buttons; beating the remote on the table petulantly. "Stupid plastic piece of crap!"
He panted, noticing everyone was staring at him.
"What?"
"My best friend is a puppet", Matt finally said, managing to process it at last.
Cordelia was stopping Connor from reaching out to his puppet dad. "This hasn't happened since I was 4 years old!"
"Well, Angel, it's OK", Lorne took the remote from Angel, turning on the TV program.
Wesley noted. "This transformation may have altered your stress-response mechanism."
"What?"
Gunn explained in simple terms. "He's saying that you have the proportionate excitability of a puppet your size."
"Sounds right to me", Matt shrugged.
"Well, it does make him more fun to be around", Lilah said and got a glare, making her snicker again.
Stick finally stopped laughing bit by bit. "Sorry, its just…." He laughed a bit again. "Muppet suckhead." He managed to control himself at last.
The puppets on the show did their usual antics as Fred picked up the phone. "Tracy, record the program that's running on channel 12 right now. Use everything. I'm gonna need a full-spectrum analysis."
As Puppet Angel watched the puppets on TV, he grew increasingly angrier, grunting and making fists. The puppets sang about self-esteem as Puppet Angel ordered. "Wes, put the special ops team on red alert."
Wesley calmly questioned. "Red alert?"
"I want helicopters and tear gas."
Gunn started. "Angel—"
"This is war!"
Lorne advised. "Angel, baby... Muppet, pumpkin, uh, this show is number one in its time slot. Tykes love it all across the Southland. We can't just toss a Jihad at their studio."
"Yeah, I think you should try to be less excitable now", Lilah agreed.
"Well he should be turned back or we'll use the tear gas and helicopters!" Cordelia snapped.
"Huh? I think he should remain this way", Stick snickered, the glares not affecting him.
Puppet Angel was calmer now. "Oh. Right. Lorne, who runs "Smile Time"?"
Lorne told him. "Oh, that's Gregor Framkin. Yeah, real rags to riches. Started out in a garage with a couple of used couches and a glue gun. He turned it into a puppet gold mine."
"Yeah, great. You, LIlah and Gunn go over there and meet with Framkin. Put some pressure on him, see if he cracks. Let him know we're onto him. Fred, Wes, I need you to figure out what Framkin did to those kids..." He frowned as he looked at his body, "Matt, get into contact with every Witch, Wizard and Voodoo guy to fix me."
Matt agreed. "Absolutely."
Puppet Angel turned to Cordelia. "Cordy-"
"Nope! I haven't taken orders from a puppet since Miss Piggy taught me about style."
"Groo, stop anyone else from entering my office", Angel ordered him.
"I will", Groo assured.
"Let's go before the muppet loses it", Lilah added as all left.
"I'll stay", Stick said, about to laugh more.
"Come on Stick", Matt urged as Stick sighed and they all left together with Groo on the door now.
Puppet Angel and sighed after the rest. "Oh. Uh, guys? This, uh, condition of mine? It's classified until further notice, OK?"
He rubbed his forehead; looking at the TV program again.
"Angel?"
Angel gasped in fright, turning off the TV and threw the remote into the air as he took a flying leap toward his desk, landing under his chair, and scrambling to hide under his desk.
Fortunately for Angel, Groo stopped Nina outside. "Angel is not seeing anyone."
"Why?"
"Oh, he drank alien blood, its affecting him badly now."
"Seriously?"
"Yes, the office is a mess, Angel is quivering on the floor and telling us not to come in till he passes."
"Is he okay? I can-"
"No, its best if no one goes in."
"Oh, okay, fine", Nina sighed.
"Let me escort you", Groo offered, and Nina nodded as he led her away.
Puppet Angel groaned, climbing out from under his desk to sit in his chair. "What a nightmare..."
Groo was coming back when he saw Spike barging into Angel's office and tried to run to stop him but was too late.
"Hey, big guy, I need another car, this last one ended up in a drain-" Spike stopped mid-sentence on seeing Puppet Angel.
"Spike." Angel started.
Groo realized his interference wouldn't matter now and just shut the door.
"Look at you." Spike said, staring at Angel in bewilderment.
"Just turn around and walk away." Angel ordered.
"You're a-" Spike started.
"Spike!" Angel snapped.
"You're a bloody puppet!" Spike exclaimed, getting over his initial shock.
Next thing they knew, Angel lunged at Spike as they crashed through the door and were rolling down the floor, while Spike laughed hysterically and Angel grunted and there were sounds of punches but Spike continued laughing.
Spike laughed. "You're a wee, little puppet man!"
Angel punched Spike in the face. "Ow!"
Spike laughed; Angel punched Spike in the face harder. "Ow! Hey! That's enough."
Spike pushed puppet Angel off of him, throwing him high into the air. Angel landed on his feet, glaring at Spike.
"Angel, what the hell happened to you?" Spike stood up. "You look ridiculous."
Puppet Angel demanded. "Get out of here, Spike."
Harmony saw Puppet Angel. "Oh, my God. Angel, you're a-"
Puppet Angel pointed at Harmony. "Shut up!"
He looked around the lobby, realizing everyone was staring at him. "What are you people looking at? Well?"
The employees backed off, frightened.
Stick was there and started laughing again. "Suckhead against muppet suckhead, AHAHAHAHAHA!" He fell to the floor in laughter again.
Spike turned and smirked. "They're looking at the wee, little puppet man."
Puppet Angel growled and leapt toward Spike again, biting his forearm this time. Spike groaned in pain, trying to wriggle his arm free of Angel's grip.
Spike bashed Angel into the wall near the elevator, but Angel held on tightly to Spike's forearm. Spike stepped back as he tried in vain to writhe free of Angel's grip, and they stumbled into the elevator.
They were still wrestling as the elevator doors closed on them. Puppet Angel was heard screaming. "Stupid limey piece of crap!"
Stick's laughter only increased now.
A thud was heard, then the elevator doors opened revealing Spike collapsed on the floor.
Puppet Angel walked off the elevator victoriously and addressed the crowd of employees that gathered around the elevator. "Yes, I'm a puppet. Doesn't mean you don't have work to do."
The crowd dispersed; Spike stood and watched Angel walk back to his office.
"Harmony, get my call list." Harmony seemed confused.
"Um..." Spike walked toward Harmony's desk.
Angel added. "And Spike needs a car."
Spike told Harmony. "You heard the puppet."
Stick was still laughing when puppet Angel saw Faith standing there, looking at him with an unreadable expression.
"Faith…."
Then she started snickering.
"Faith….."
Her snickering turned into full-blown laughter, joining that of Stick, and taking out her phone, she snapped a picture as Angel leapt at her but Faith jumped back to avoid, then turning around, ran off as puppet Angel chased her.
"Hey, no! Delete it!"
"Oh no I'm not", Faith said, keeping ahead of him.
A woman escorted Lilah, Gunn and Lorne into Framkin's office at the television studios. Framkin was wearing magnifying goggles and was bent over his workbench with a glue-gun creating puppets.
Gunn called out. "Mr. Framkin?"
Framkin looked up with a smile. "Hi there." He took his goggles off. "Ah... excuse me for not getting up. Bit glued in at the moment." He chuckled.
Gunn started. "Mr. Framkin, we've been tracking an epidemic that's affecting a great many—"
"Cocoa?"
"What?"
"I could have some cocoa brought in. Extra yummy. Got those itty-bitty marshmallows?"
"Ooh, those are good", Lorne saw Gunn was not laughing and changed his tone to threatening. "Listen, Santa, you can keep your tempting beverages to yourself. We're here from—"
"Wolfram & Hart. Yes. I've heard of it. And of you", Lorne smiled. "Made quite an impression in our little industry. So much accomplishment despite your unfortunate deformities.
Lorne frowned, offended. "Deformi-whats?"
"We have a song here at smile time that reminds me of your courage and pluck. It's called, uh, "Courage and Pluck." Goes a little like this:" He sang. "Oh, courage and pluck courage and pluck—"
"Drop the act", Lilah finally said.
Gunn added. "We're onto you, understand? We're gonna shut you down."
Framkin asked. "Oh, my. On what grounds?"
"Well, for starters, violations of the provisions of section 5— 5... 6-8-C..."
"Violations of children's rights. Children are entitled to a safe environment, good nutrition, healthcare, and education. Your actions are violating those, no safe environment due to your show, and you make them sick, so bad nutrition, health and no time for education, you have a lot to answer for", Lilah threatened Framkin.
"And you turned my boss into a puppet!" Gunn added.
Framkin calmly smiled. "I disagree."
Gunn said. "Yeah, but— you—you what?"
"And if your intent is to pressure me, extort money, do any of the things your firm is famous for, well, I'm afraid you're in for a fight."
Lorne told him. "Yeah? Well, a fight suits us just fine, Papa Smurf. We're gonna let the entire world know what you're up to."
"Up to? Gentlemen, I bring joy and laughter to children. You bring tax exemptions to nasty corporations, acquittals to the clearly guilty. Frankly, I doubt the world wants to hear from you."
"We know you suck the life out of children, so get off your high horse", Lilah said with a scoff. "Now don't get me wrong, I hate kids. They smell, they are loud, and are dangerous at both ends, but my boss doesn't want anything happening to them, so, you're going down."
With that, they walked off as Framkim sang. "Bum bum bum bum bum buh bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum buh bum bum bum..."
Framkin's lower back had a hole in it. The puppet "Polo" had his hand in Framkin's back. When Polo pulled his hand out of Framkin's back with a slurping sound, Framkin collapsed on the desk.
Polo picked up the phone and dialed it. "Get everybody in here. We got a problem."
The mastermind was never Framkim, it was his puppets.
Nina was standing alone in her cage, holding onto the bars as night fell. She sighed and turned around to take off her shirt, when she heard Angel's voice. "Uh, Nina..."
Nina stopped taking off her shirt, turning to look for Angel. "Angel?"
Puppet Angel hid behind the door. "Yeah, sort of. Uh, listen, I wanna apologize about not letting you in my office earlier."
Nina assured. "Look, Angel, I understand."
Angel replied. "Pretty sure you don't."
Nina told him. "You've got this whole, complicated, important life going on, with a girlfriend and a son, and... the last thing you need to deal with is some charity case you were nice enough to—"
"Nina..." Angel breathed deeply and exhaled; walking out from behind the door so Nina could see him.
Nina realized Angel was a puppet. "Oh. "I don't know what to say."
Puppet Angel walked up to the cage, holding onto the bars. "My people are workin' on the problem. I'm sure they'll fix it. Eventually." He sighed. "I didn't meant to upset you this morning. I just didn't want anyone— Well, I didn't want anyone to see me this way. It's a little, uh, embarrassing, I guess. But I came down because I know you like to have someone to talk with before you turn."
Nina smiled at Angel's thoughtfulness and replied. "I'd call it a little insane." Angel hung his head in shame. "But... what do you care what people think, anyway?"
Angel looked up at Nina, surprised. "Angel... you're you, you know?" She kneeled to talk to Angel on eye-level. "You're this— I mean, God, you're an actual hero, and, I don't know, this may sound cliché coming from an art-school chick, but... the Vampire thing's kind of sexy."
Puppet Angel said in good humor. "Don't let Cordy hear you say that."
Nina snickered and said. "I'm sure she'd agree with me."
Angel sighed and looked away. "Yeah, I don't know what I've done to deserve her but I'm happy that she is with me—" a growling noise came from the cage and a dog's paw grabbed Angel, pulling him into the cage. "Aah! Ohh!" He tried to get away. "No, Nina! Bad Nina! Yaah!"
The fabric ripped and Angel groaned as he was pulled in.
Matt then ran downstairs, igniting a fireball in his hand, so werewolf Nina whimpered and pulled away in fear as Matt put the fireball away and scooped up as much of puppet Angel as he could.
"Uhhhh…Matt…..Help me….."
Matt was carrying Puppet Angel when Lorne saw them and asked. "My little prince! What happened?"
"Werewolf Nina tried to eat him, then I got there", Matt revealed.
"Medic!" Lorne yelled before telling Angel. "You're gonna make it Angel, just don't stop fighting." He yelled louder. "Doctor! Is there a Geppetto in the house?!"
The "Smile Time" program was playing on a TV screen with Cordelia, Fred, Wesley and baby Connor watching the show in the lab.
Wesley commented. "It could be the lack of sleep talking, but... I'm really starting to like this show."
Fred giggled. "I know what you mean."
Cordelia commented. "If it ain't a fashionable pig or a singing frog, it's not worth it."
More chuckles as Fred asked. "What time is it?"
Knox walked in with coffees and a sippy cup; the coffees were given to Cordelia and Fred as he kept one for himself, and Cordelia took the sippy cup, tasted it, then gave it to Connor. "You're good baby."
Nothing for Wesley though.
"Time is 4 A.M. And counting", Wesley looked at Knox's coffee. "Oh! I'm sorry. Did you want—" He held out the coffee to Wes.
"That's all right."
"'Cause I could—"
"No. Really", Wesley turned back to the TV. "All right... what are we missing?"
Fred turned back to the computer hooked up to the TV. "I guess we should go back and comb through the signal spread, check all the tracks again."
Knox commented. "Ecch. Again. What's up with you two? The tracks are clear. We ran it through every filter we've got."
Wesley told him. "That's not how magic works, Knox."
"Really...Merlin? Then how does magic work?"
Cordelia told Knox. "Hey lab coat, try taking away those tattoos Lindsey wore to sneak into here unseen by ALL the technological stuff, then we'll talk."
Knox had no response as Cordelia and Wesley shared a smile and Fred told Knox. "You know what? I think we can handle it from here. You should go home, Knox. Get some rest."
"Oh, no. I don't want to abandon ship."
Fred assured. "That's OK. Somebody's got to be awake enough to run the lab tomorrow. Seriously, go home."
Knox nodded. "OK."
Groofus sang a Math song as Fred giggled. "I love this one." She offered her coffee to Wesley; he took it.
Knox walked out as the song continued and Wesley asked. "So... how's it going with you and Knox? I know you were starting to-"
"Started and stopped, actually"
"Really?" He handed the coffee back to Fred.
Fred blushed. "Yeah. We went out a few times, but... I don't know."
Wesley turned down volume on the TV. "So...you stopped it."
"Yeah. He—he's nice enough, but..."
Cordelia chimed in. "But he ain't tall enough, buff enough, blond enough, blue-eyed enough, American-"
"Cordy!" Fred shushed her.
"Hmmm, I know who you speak of", Wesley smirked as Fred blushed and Cordelia chuckled.
Then Connor yelled. "Han!"
Cordelia kissed his head, "Yes, baby! Handsome enough."
Wesley though told her. "Actually, he's probably still hooked on 'Star Wars'. Angel, Gunn, Lorne, and I were introducing it to him and Groo."
"Well my point stands, and Harrison certainly had things going for him."
Fred begged. "Can we please not talk about my love life here?"
Wesley noticed something on the TV program. "Hang on. Go back a second. There's something different. Maybe if we bring up... the volume."
Fred rewound it. When Wesley turned the volume back on, the image on the show changed. On mute, Polo had his hands pressed against the screen, but with volume, Polo was singing with the other puppets.
Cordelia, Wesley, Fred and even Connor were seeing the same effect the boy Tommy saw at the beginning of the episode.
Connor then started crying as Cordelia lifted him and carried him away. "Shhh, nothing's here."
Groofus sang and Wesley muted volume, and Polo's hands were on the screen again. Fred noted. "Polo isn't singing with the rest of them. It looks like he's talking to the audience."
Wesley turned the volume on and then muted it again. "Yes. When the song is playing, it acts as a sort of cloaking spell allowing Framkin to address his target without being seen by the rest of his viewers."
Fred realized. "So that's how he's been hiding it."
Wesley pointed out. "No. That's how he was hiding it."
Angel was sitting at his desk using a needle and thread to sew up his torn jacket. He pulled the thread through the fabric, grunting. "Stupid fingers." He pulled the thread, breaking it. "Stupid string!" He put down the needle, groaning.
Cordelia, Matt, Faith, Wesley and Fred walked into Angel's office. Cordelia had given Connor to Lorne.
Angel looked up at them.
Wesley then told him. "It's all in the broadcast— Some very nuanced magic, but we found it, finally."
Fred noticed claw marks across Angel's face. "Angel...what happened?"
"Oooh, werewolf", Cordelia noted with a snicker as Angel sighed.
"Go on", Angel told Fred.
She said. "It's a hidden carrier wave masked by a spell that turns the TV into a 2-way conduit with direct access to the viewer."
Wesley added. "That's how he's been draining energy from the children, and judging from the strength of yesterday's signal…."
Fred finished. "Framkin's ready to take out the whole audience."
"Well, we have to take him out now then", Matt said.
"Yep, time to go", Faith agreed.
Wesley added. "The object you described in that secret room is most likely a repository for the children's life force. We'll have to break the binding magic on it."
Fred told him. "Which should free those children and... reverse your puppet problem.
Upon hearing these words, Angel gasped and rushed to hug Fred with overenthusiastic gratitude.
"I love you guys."
Fred smiled, not really knowing how to take it; Angel gathered himself together and stepped back.
"Oh... we'd better get moving. Framkin knows we're onto him. If he's ready to zap his whole audience, he'll pull the trigger today for sure."
Gunn walked into the office confidently with Lilah. "Not him. Them."
"Gunn, Lilah", Angel noted.
Gunn revealed. "Framkin's not doing this. It's the puppets. They're demons. The show is possessed. "Smile Time"'s ratings hit an all-time low last year. Framkin made a deal with some devils to bring it back to number one."
"And we all know how that goes", Lilah quipped.
"Some of us a bit too well", Matt sighed.
Wesley asked. "You sure of that?"
Gunn nodded. "Dead sure. Every contract signed with the lower planes is filed in the Library of Demonic Congress. You just gotta know where to look. Pretty tricky legalese, too. Framkin must have missed some of the fine print."
Angel paced. "Which allowed them to take over everything."
Lilah nodded. "Including Framkin. These particular devils have a fairly distinctive M.O."
Fred asked. "They've done this before?"
Gunn told them all. "You see the last few seasons of "Happy Days"? Point is—you wanna take out "Smile Time", take out the puppets."
"We were planning just that", Matt told Gunn.
"Yup, about to go do it", Faith added.
"Well, then..." Angel took a sword off the wall, removing it from its scabbard.
"Let's take out some puppets."
Fred opened the double-doors leading from Angel's office to the lobby.
Cordelia, Gunn and Faith flanked her right while Matt and Wesley flanked her left as they walked out toward their mission. Puppet Angel was leading the way, carrying his sword behind his head, parallel to his shoulders.
A little girl was watching the show as Polo did his thing, and the girl touched the TV, slowly turning paler like Tommy as Polo said. "After all, it's Smile Time!"
"No, it's not."
Angel had appeared now with his sword. "It's time to kick your ass all the way back to hell!"
"You!" Polo yelled.
Angel swung his sword and let out a primal yell as he leapt toward Polo. Angel swung the sword at Polo, but missed. Polo punched Angel.
The TV show staff acted as if they couldn't see what was going on around them. They were clearly still under some sort of spell.
Cordelia went into the room, trying to shut off all broadcasts. "Come on, kids can do better than this!"
Groofus yelled to Angel. "Hey, man! You're ruinin' the show!"
Someone else swung an ax, cutting off Groofus's head.
Hornblower looked out, then tooted and went back into the box to hide.
Gunn held the ax. "We're workin' on it."
Polo beat up Angel and knocked the sword away, then punched him into the dog house.
"Angel!" Gunn yelled.
Polo saw Angel and yelled. "It's a full-scale attack!" He saw Ratio and commanded. "Ratio, the nest egg!"
Angel grabbed Polo and dragged him into the doghouse as Ratio tooted and ran off in fright.
Fred and Wesley entered the "Don't" room. Wes was carrying a satchel over his shoulder and handed it to Fred. "Fred." He began reading from a scroll. "Aperi, rumpe, solve, reveni. Aperi, rumpe, solve, reveni—"
The nest egg started rumbling and began opening its glowy smile.
"Don't look at it, Fred."
Fred looked at her feet.
"Refer quod furatum—"
Ratio was on its way but saw Daredevil and Faith in the way. Matt flipped and kicked it back as Faith punched it, then elbowed it away before throwing it down.
Matt stood with a weird look as Faith asked. "What?"
"Our lives keep getting weirder, we are fighting puppets!" Matt pointed out.
"Damn!" Faith realized as Ratio got back up but Matt spin kicked it back while Faith pushed it off.
The puppets Angel and Polo were still fighting inside the dog house. Angel threw Polo out, and Gunn was standing by with a battle-axe.
"Got him!" He started to swing the battle-axe at Polo, but the puppet girl jumped him and grabbed his neck.
She tried to break Gunn's neck, but ended up spinning them off of the stage. They fell to the ground, and the puppet girl let go of Gunn. When he tried to sit up, she jumped him from out of the blue, landing on top of Gunn's chest, reaching for his eyes.
"Gimme those pretty eyes!"
Gunn struggled to get her off of him.
Cordelia had finished shutting most of it down and just one was shutting off, then she saw Gunn struggling and ripping the puppet girl off, threw it at the camera, that being the last thing the camera recorded.
Matt kicked the hornblower away and then Faith grabbed its horn and broke it off, making it let out a terrible deflating squeaking sound as it went down.
Angel and Polo puppets were still fighting.
"I'm gonna tear you a new puppet hole, bitch!" Polo punched Angel; Angel overpowered him, pushing him to the ground and started choking him.
Polo gasped. "So... you got a little demon in you."
"I got a lot of demon in me", Angel's forehead went all bumpy and his fangs descended as Polo gasped in fright. "Now, come on!"
Angel grabbed Polo and threw him into the treehouse, breaking the wood railing. Polo fell on the wooden splinters and fell limp.
Wesley and Fred finished reading the scroll.
"Fracta. Aperi, rumpe, solve, reveni."
The smiling nest egg glowed brightly and began to crack. As the glowing got brighter, the egg exploded, showering the room with bright light. Wesley and Fred turned away from the force of the explosion.
With that, the threat of the puppets was ended.
Nina was in human form again, lying naked in her cage amidst pieces of torn fabric. She woke, disoriented, and looked around her. She pulled lint off of her lips. "Oh, my God. I ate him."
There was a knocking at the door. She reached for a nearby silk robe as Angel asked from outside the door. "Hey, uh, you decent?"
Nina finished putting on the robe. "Angel. Oh, thank God. Hold on one second."
She tied the robe. "OK."
Angel walked into the room.
"Wow. Sorry. Takes getting used to."
Angel said. "Ha. Tell me about it. Wes and Fred say my condition's improving, though. I just came here to tell you that you didn't eat me."
"Thanks", Nina said then asked. "So you're gonna change back?"
"Yeah. 2, 3 days tops. Come on, you can go now", Angel said as he opened the door and she walked out.
"This is all so weird, I'm a werewolf helped by a Vampire who became a puppet", Nina laughed as they walked off.
"Tell me about it", Angel groaned.
Angel later sat in his apartment, sighing as Matt said. "Couldn't get in touch with Willow or Wong, sorry, no help there."
Angel nodded as Matt added. "And Stick has been laughing so hard that his form is fading so he'll need timeout to recover, then he'll be on actual timeout on my orders."
"Thanks", Angel said as Matt walked out with Faith.
She whispered to him. "I received something on my phone."
Matt whispered in shock. "Oh my God."
Cordelia lifted up Connor and put him on the couch with puppet Angel. "Come on Angel, he's still your baby, play with him."
Angel looked hesitant, but then saw Connor reaching out to him with an innocent look and sighed. "Fine."
Connor picked up his puppet dad and squealed happily as he played with him.
"Easy, Connor."
"Small dada", Connor said as he laughed.
"Yes I am."
Cordelia watched and muttered. "Still not having sex with a puppet."
New York Sanctum
Strange walked to Wong and told him. "Angel became a puppet but I couldn't help since we have many things to deal with."
"Really?" Wong asked.
"Hell no!" Strange said as they looked at the picture of puppet Angel that Wong had on his phone, sent to him by Willow to whom Faith had sent it, and both burst out laughing.
"This is gold!" Strange said.
"It is", Wong agreed.
Avengers Tower
Steve, Tony, Thor, Buffy, Natasha, Bruce, Wanda, Sam, Bucky and Rhodes all laughed at the picture of puppet Angel as well.
"Mighty Vampire muppet is here!" Tony said in a mocking tone as the laughter increased.
"Count step out of the way!" Sam added.
"How did this….." Steve couldn't finish due to how much he was laughing.
"I'm never letting this go!" Buffy added.
"Are there any more photos?" Wanda asked.
"Unfortunately, no", Natasha told her.
"Not to worry, we can make do with this", Bucky shrugged.
"Yeah, this is enough", Thor agreed.
"And hilarious", Rhodes added as all laughed more.
"Most hilarious thing ever", Bruce said.
Jessica, Luke, Danny and Colleen laughed together too at Josie's on seeing picture.
"The fuck is this?" Jessica commented.
"Sweet Christmas!" Luke said.
"So hilarious", Colleen snickered.
"Yeah, let's keep it", Danny agreed.
Willow and Tara were laughing at the picture as well as Tara asked. "So, should we turn him back?"
"No, let's ask Faith for more pictures", Willow said as both laughed harder.
Peter, Dawn and Felicia were laughing at the picture too as Dawn said. "I wanna play with him! He is so cute!"
"Even I want to play with him", Felicia added.
"So, can we afford a trip to LA right now?" Peter wondered as they all snickered.
Xander and Anya were laughing in their apartment as Anya said. "Puppet Angel, can we sell him and make money?"
"He is so hilarious", Xander laughed.
Even Giles was laughing where he was. "He is a bloody puppet!"
No one would ever let this go.
The end at last, hope all had a laugh.
Gunn's deal happened the same as in canon.
The legal scenes were taken from 'Suits' to show the lawyer trio doing some lawyer work.
Thanks a lot to Brainstorm Sorcerer for his help once more.
Hope all enjoyed and see you all next time with another chapter, where things get real interesting.