Wanted to do another Buffy/Satsu fic but with a little different spin from the usual, so for the sake of the story, no Slayering or supernatural mess involved here this time and it would take place when the Scoobies are in college. Honestly, Riley was an OK boyfriend material at first, if boring but in Season 5 he went to crap and seriously, his Initiative stance in Season 4 sometimes annoyed me. Satsu and Buffy were always going to be a short-time thing and I wouldn't mind Buffy/Faith either but I wanted to try to go a little deeper into Buffy/Satsu with a different spin on them and if not for the fact that considering Willow/Tara, we'd have two Scoobies coming out in one season, I wouldn't mind Buffy/Satsu. Spike is the one for Buffy, with Faith being the second and Satsu the third for me in Buffyverse.
BTW, I'm imagining Satsu played by Tao Okamoto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Buffy: The Vampire Slayer.
"So, what do you think about the 'Lord of the Rings' films?" Xander asked as he, Buffy, Willow and Tara walked down the campus.
"Well, honestly, I think that there are some things they could've done better and there are some inaccuracies and nitpicks, but otherwise it's a great book saga and the films are well done." Willow said.
"Even though Helm's Deep has the same vulnerable spot as the Death Star and seriously, Legolas is supposed to be the best archer and he fails to headshot that suicidal Uruk-Hai?" Buffy noted.
"Ah, I think you're just overthinking it but I can't argue about it." Xander said.
"Seriously, you should read the books, they are enjoyable to read." Tara advised to him before they entered the cafeteria to eat their lunch, when a Japanese girl with shoulder-long dark hair in white shirt and blue jeans sat across them with her tray of lunch.
"Hey, Satsu." Buffy said.
"Hi. You won't mind if I sit here?" Satsu asked.
"Sure." Willow said.
"What are you guys doing?" Satsu asked.
"Just talking about some issues with the Lord of the Rings." Buffy explained.
"The books or the films?" Satsu asked.
"Uh, sort of both." Tara said.
"Honestly, as much as I like the trilogy, I'm more relaxed with 'The Hobbit, or There and Back Again', I've been reading that book since I was a kid." Satsu said.
"Yeah, it is sweet." Buffy said.
"You guys ever wonder how a film adaptation of it might look like?" Satsu asked.
"Could be a short one, considering how long the trilogy is." Tara said.
"Unless Hollywood gets greedy and adds in things that Tolkien never involved in the book and they stretch things out with their original ideas." Willow said.
"Uh, I don't know about that if it's a good idea. Giles would surely get his eyes bulged, if that happened and he saw it." Buffy said.
"Who knows, it could be fun to find out what else happened, since the books mainly describe what happened around Bilbo and seldomly what with Thorin and other characters." Xander said.
"Guess we'll see." Satsu said, smiling at Buffy, who seemed to be oblivious of her longing look. In fact, everyone else smiled at how Satsu seemed to adore Buffy, who was the only one not noticing how Satsu was eying her in admiration.
"So, do you have any plans for later?" Buffy asked Satsu as they and the Scooby Gang walked down the hallway.
"Uh… not really. I mean, the usual. Gymnastics class later, help walk some dogs out, then maybe good binging of 'Friends' on TV, even though Ross is hitting my nerves now." Satsu said and the Scoobies groaned.
"Sorry you got that far. Seriously, Ross and Rachel got so screwed." Willow said, while she and Xander winced over their own moment of vulnerability and unintentionally breaking Xander and Cordelia up.
"Maybe you could hang out with us more, if you want to." Buffy said.
"That would be nice." Satsu smiled before looking at the clock. "But I should go. See you around."
"See you." Buffy said, watching Satsu walk off before Buffy turned to Xander, Willow and Tara, who all had amused smirks on their faces, much to Buffy's confusion. "What?"
"Don't tell me you don't really see it." Tara said, shaking her head.
"See what?" Buffy asked, confused before they gave her pointed looks as it hit her. "Oh."
"She's totally into you. You should've seen how she was looking at you, when you weren't looking at her." Willow said.
"And you guys think that I should…" Buffy trailed off, blushing in embarrassment. "I mean, not that I don't like her, it's just that… I don't know…" She said, unsure.
"At least spend some time with her. No one's gonna judge you." Xander encouraged.
"If nothing else, you'll be going through a phase. It won't make you straight-up gay or bi." Tara said.
"I… guess…" Buffy said, considering. Well, it wouldn't really hurt to try, would it?
"Hey, Buffy." Joyce said as Buffy returned home. "Did anything interesting happen today?"
"Well… no." Buffy said as she sat down across Dawn.
"OK, I'm gonna go buy some food, so that you can prepare dinner. I'll be gone for a few days." Joyce said as she kissed both girls on their cheeks before leaving.
Buffy suddenly looked awkward as Dawn noticed the look in her eyes. "Is everything OK, Buffy?"
"Honestly, I don't know…" Buffy trailed off. "It's Satsu."
"That Japanese girl from college?" Dawn asked before it hit her. "Oh, did you—"
"No!" Buffy protested. "I mean, I like her but this… I don't feel about her that way and I… I just don't see it happen." She blushed, feeling awkward.
"Buffy, I think she's a nice girl and Willow and Xander told me that she obviously likes you. And come on, even though you and Faith had your differences between each other, she clearly flirted with you but you probably weren't ready to make a move on her. I mean, no one is gonna judge you, we didn't judge Willow for coming out and being with Tara either." Dawn encouraged.
"It's not that I'm afraid of people judging me, Dawn. I just… I like her and I admit, there are times when I imagine myself intimate with her but… I just don't know what does it make me, I mean, it's not like I'm exclusively into girls. I might like Faith and yeah, I like Satsu but I don't imagine myself with Willow, Tara or Cordelia. Look, I'm not saying I'm not into Satsu, I just… I'm not gay and I don't know if I'm bi, it's just… new to me and I don't know what should I do." Buffy explained and Dawn nodded in understanding.
"Well, when the time comes, I think you'll know." Dawn said and Buffy considered. Could it really be that simple?
Buffy placed both hands against the wall of the shower stall and leaned forward for the warm water spraying down on her naked form, the heat from the water soaking into her skin and relaxing her muscles before she poured some shampoo on the palm of her hand, rubbing it across her wet skin and brushing her hair with her fingers to clean the filth and sweat, that poured in drops down her arms and chest and then legs to pour into the drain. Buffy took her time as she explored and cleaned every nook and cranny of her body and washed her hair and once she was satisfied with her shower, Buffy leaned towards the stall under the torrent of water again as the shampoo washed down her hair and skin with the filth down the drain before Buffy turned off the water and grabbed the towel from a handle, cleaning her hair and drying herself off and before wrapping it around her body. Buffy went to her bedroom and was about to approach the wardrobe and put on her pajamas, when she noticed that the window had been fully opened.
Buffy was on guard, when she sensed someone behind her and she whirled around but Buffy gasped in surprise as the towel fell off her, leaving her naked and she froze in shock as her jaw dropped at the sight of the uninvited visitor. "Satsu?! What are you—?"
She was cut off, when in one swift motion, Satsu's lips crashed down onto Buffy's like a wave of relentless hunger she had never experienced before. Though shocked for the first few moments, Buffy eventually gave in as they kissed furiously, as if there was no tomorrow as they eventually gave into each other's desires. Neither woman was entirely sure who had started it first but they made their way to the bed, moans of longing escaping each other's lips, while Buffy took off Satsu's shirt and pants and helped her take off her underwear, both girls giving into each other's desires, exploring each other's bodies, eager and impatient, wanting everything, all at once and not knowing where to start as they felt as alive as never before.
Satsu suddenly pulled away as she looked at Buffy remorsefully. "I'm sorry. I probably shouldn't have just barged in, I just couldn't stop thinking about you—"
"No, no, it's…" Buffy took a breath, smiling appreciatively as she held Satsu by her cheek. "I actually didn't mind. We don't have to stop."
Satsu nodded as they kissed fiercely again with more passion and Satsu rubbed Buffy's breasts gently, while kissing her on her neck and then chest, with Satsu's hands making their way to Buffy's abdomen and then womanhood as both girls moaned in pleasure, pressing themselves against each other, while Buffy was running her hands down Satsu's arms and hips and abdomen before reaching towards her bare chest and squeezing her breasts. Both girls were panting, completely overcome with emotions and lost in passion as Buffy reached in between Satsu's legs as she cried out, while Buffy placed herself on top of Satsu as they laid down on the bed with their legs entangled. Buffy placed both hands on Satsu's face as they pulled back and stared deeply into each other's eyes before kissing once more, losing themselves in each other completely.
Later at night, Buffy and Satsu were snuggling towards each other outside in the garden in the tent under the midnight sky filled with twinkling stars, while Satsu slept beneath the sheets and Buffy ran her fingers down the Asian woman's bare back, feeling longing and desire she had never felt before. Buffy had never as much considered being interested in girls before, until Satsu. Both girls were using their naked bodies snuggling to each other to keep each other warm in the cold night, lying side by side on the bottom of the tent with the grass prickling their bare skin and Buffy stared up into the blackness above them through a hole in the side of the tent, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to catch her breath and gather her thoughts. Neither could have anticipated what this night would have in store for them, and God, what a night it had been… Neither one of them had considered themselves charming or promiscuous and they weren't playing hard to get.
While Satsu never denied liking girls, Buffy had never even considered interest in them before she came out of her shell tonight and only now succumbed to her repressed desires. Most of her partners before had been just men and while Buffy tried to be in serious relationships with them, it never lasted for long and sure, she had her share of one-night stands with other guys but with Satsu it was a whole new experience entirely. Buffy turned to the dark-haired woman on her right, unable to believe what she had just done (or 'who' she had just done for that matter). Her eyes swept across the pale, sweating, naked body of the Japanese girl beside her, which had been at her mercy only moments ago.
Satsu stirred and moaned softly as she slowly came to and opened her eyes as she turned her head. Satsu and Buffy looked into each other's eyes to see the same disbelief in them, the same incredulity that they felt inside themselves. Satsu knew that Buffy was equally as stunned as her about how they had ended up sprawled out on the ground in all their glory, having only just met recently and few days later after few conversations they had just experienced possibly the most incredible night of their existence.
Their arms brushed against each other slightly, hairs standing on end. Strangely, both women pulled away from each other, Buffy shifting a little, even though they had rubbed more than arms only minutes ago. They both looked outside the window hole on the side of the tent at the night sky, both of them stunned, not sure where to begin their talking, with the only sounds being their heavy breaths after their passionate sex and distant wind howling outside, creating a shiver up their spines. Unable to stand the cold any longer, Buffy sat up slowly, suddenly feeling a little awkward. She took a deep breath as Satsu sat up as well and the girls looked at each other, exploring the toned naked body of their lover. Satsu swallowed, her mouth watering at the sight of Buffy's breasts, her nipples standing on end as a result of the cold and struggling with the arousal growing inside her, despite that she had already been satisfied just a while ago.
Buffy, realizing that Satsu was getting excited at watching her nude form, turned her back on her. Buffy had never made love with a girl before and she had to admit that this new experience was quite exhilarating, even though Buffy was unsure how to feel. She wouldn't say that she was exclusively into girls, even though asides from Satsu, she felt some attraction towards Faith, but whether Faith actually felt that way or if they would actually click, well, it's not like Faith ever tried to make a move on her and Buffy was unsure of whether she would herself. Buffy considered how it might look like if she tried it with another woman, the most likely scenario being nothing more than a quick tumble between the sheets, though… with Satsu, the feeling was different and it was unsettling to realize how much of a hold that this beautiful woman seemed to have over her in such a short space of time. Buffy was definitely not going to forget her face anytime soon and she doubted that Satsu would forget hers any time soon either.
Buffy sat up, feeling slightly ashamed of herself before she got up on her feet, grabbing a towel, which was quite small but it was enough to at least cover her breasts, as she went out shyer than before, avoiding looking at Satsu now, who had gotten up as well and covered herself with the sheets as she suddenly felt just as shy and awkward as Buffy. Both girls were exiting the tent, their hands touching as they reached for the zipper, sending chills down the other's spine. The two women looked at each other, neither one of them saying as much as a word about their unexplainable night. Buffy cleared her throat uncomfortably and pulled away awkwardly, avoiding meeting Satsu's eyes and gesturing for her to exit first before both girls returned into the house to get dressed, neither one of the girls saying a word the entire time before Satsu left.
Even though they felt mainly guilt, shame and embarrassment over what they had done, once they were apart from each other, neither one of the girls could stop thinking about the other as their minds momentarily flashed back to their toned, naked bodies pressed against each other's, writhing and tensing with desire and filled with passionate ecstasy as Buffy watched Satsu leave the house, unable to stop thinking about her, with Buffy not leaving Satsu's mind either.
The following day, as they were resuming their studies, Buffy encountered Satsu, when they passed each other by in the corridor, they shared smiles with longing looks briefly.
"You two look happy upon seeing each other." Xander noted before the realization dawned onto Willow.
"Wait, so you and Satsu…" Willow trailed off as Buffy blushed slightly.
"Oh." Xander and Tara both said at once as it hit them all.
"Well… good for you. Really." Willow said after a moment of processing.
"Whoa." Xander said, looking mind-blown and processing.
"Xander, are you OK?" Tara asked as Xander stared in front of him, processing, while eying Buffy.
"Don't tell me you're imagining me naked again and this time with Satsu as well." Buffy said and Xander immediately looked embarrassed.
"Uh, no! I mean, I wasn't until now! Damn you! I mean, if you two are happy, I'm happy for you but seriously, damn it, Buffy, now I need to think about something else! Oh, merciful Zeus!" Xander snapped as he walked off and the girls laughed at his antics, shaking their heads in amusement.
Buffy had snuck out of the dorm, creeping in the shadows and looking around in the campus, on alert if someone was following her or planning to attack her or if there were campus guards around but so far, she felt safe, even though she felt the uncomfortable shuddering cold breeze of wind sending shivers down her spine. Double-checking that she was still out of anyone's sight, Buffy held the hood of her jacket as she ran across the yard to the entrance of the cafeteria and got in before closing the door behind her.
"Were you followed?" Buffy called out as Satsu emerged from the shadows into the faint beam of moonlight shining through the windows. She opened the door and peeked out, glancing around for any potential pursuers.
"No." Satsu assured.
"Why did you want me here?" Buffy asked.
Satsu took a breath, looking nervous and blushing for a few moments before she gave Buffy a seductive smile as a heavy burden had been lifted off her shoulders, while she looked embarrassed. "I just… wanted to see you again."
Buffy breathed heavily from running into the cafeteria gefore she gave Satsu a wide-eyed incredulous look. "You… You mean you called me and wanted to meet me in the middle of the night for…?" She trailed off and sighed and groaned in disbelief and frustration, rubbing the temples of her skull. "Oh, my God, Satsu. I run all the way tonight to see you and it's… it's all just about sex for you? I already told you that I'm not gonna be your go-to whenever you feel that you need a break from something or because of your personal boredom or because you desire me."
Satsu faltered. "I… Well, no. I-I-I mean, it wasn't all for… for nothing but sex." She stuttered before taking a breath. "I just… wanted to get closer to you and… it's not like we've had many opportunities so far."
Buffy looked at her in sympathy and nodded after a moment as she sighed. "I get it. But, Satsu, look—"
Suddenly, they heard a scuffling sound outside and both women glanced towards the door, listening as they saw cones of light and they could literally hear their hearts race. Campus security.
Buffy grabbed Satsu by her arm, dragging her to the other side of the cafeteria and pulling open one of the long crates in the corner as quietly as she could. Buffy helped Satsu gently get inside before she climbed in awkwardly on top of Satsu, closing the lid silently. Buffy froze, looking into Satsu's eyes, realizing just how close she was. Satsu had lain flat across her, with Buffy leaning her full weight down on top of her in the tightly enclosed space. Their bodies were pressed together snugly, forcing their faces inches apart from each other as Satsu felt Buffy's warm breath tickle her face. As Buffy was about to speak again, Satsu pressed two gentle fingers over Buffy's lips and shook her head as the cafeteria door burst open with a racket.
"…swear I saw something."
Buffy's blood ran cold. She held her breath to avoid alerting the guards of their presence as she and Satsu listened to the footsteps walking down the cafeteria. She could see the still outline of Satsu in front of her, feel the woman's heartbeat quicken due to their chests pressed together with no room to breathe. The Asian's fingers were still pressed against her lips, making it difficult for her to focus on what was going on outside while trying to ignore the shape of Buffy's breasts which were squashed against hers.
"There's no one here." The other guard said, bored as Buffy and Satsu listened to the footsteps walking around the cafeteria. "Either you're just imagining things or we got a lost cat or something around here."
After a moment, even though it felt like an eternity, they heard the guard sigh, closer than he was before. "Maybe you're right." He said, unsure. "We lost the little bitch when she ran through the trees back there. She could be anywhere now. It was worth checking out though."
The other guard snorted as he groaned in frustation. "Come on. Let's go back and take another look in the dorm. If she's not there, I say we hit the bar and be done with it."
"Yeah, I could use a beer. It's been a long night."
Buffy and Satsu strained their ears to hear the closing of the cafeteria door and the footsteps dying away in the distance and both girls stayed frozen for several more seconds, making sure that they were really alone once more. Once they heard nothing but deathly silence, the Japanese girl pulled her fingers away from Buffy's soft lips and reached up to the lid of the crate, opening it as both girls climbed out and Buffy closed the crate shut, sighing deeply in relief.
"That's was close." Satsu said.
"No kidding." Buffy snorted as she turned to notice Satsu stroking her arm as Satsu stared at Buffy with a concerned face upon noticing the anxiety in Buffy's eyes. She had never seen her look so frightened before. It was a look that didn't suit such a normally strong woman.
"Hey…" Satsu soothed, taking Buffy aback.
Wanting nothing more than to hold her, Buffy sank towards Satsu, who pulled Buffy closer, placing a hand on the back of her neck and wrapping her other arm around her waist as Buffy gave herself in to Satsu's embrace, feeling her knees go weak as the adrenaline flooded her entire body. She wrapped her arms around Satsu to feel the warmth of her body and relax in it, while resting her head on Satsu's shoulder, sighing deeply and closing her eyes. It was strange to feel so safe in arms of someone else, especially of another girl. She barely even knew her, but something just felt… right. Satsu ran her fingers through her hair soothingly, feeling her melt into her arms as she felt Buffy press her body against her.
"I'm sorry." Buffy whispered, though she had no idea why was she apologizing. Only rarely she felt so weak in the company of anyone else, but in the company of someone she barely knew it felt unnatural to her, foreign.
"Don't apologize." Satsu whispered back, understanding completely. Sometimes she felt like falling apart herself, weighed down by her own personal burdens, and she herself knew what it felt like to be the prey of somebody. It made one feel strangely alone and exposed. No one had ever been there to hold her like this at the time she had needed it unfortunately. If only they had… Buffy backed away, embarrassed as she wiped her forehead before rubbing her temples. She suddenly felt dizzy from the sudden closeness and Satsu's scent upon sniffing her hair. Buffy sat down on a smaller crate behind her and exhaled shakily, trying to pull herself together. Satsu sat beside her, resting a hand on the blonde's leg. "Are you OK?"
"Yeah, it's just that…" Buffy sniffed, barely able to hold back tears, since she hadn't seen Satsu in weeks before meeting her dark eyes. "I missed you." She said quietly, before she could stop herself and Satsu couldn't help herself but become intrigued at the blonde's sudden vulnerability as she smiled, while Buffy looked into her eyes.
"I missed you too." Satsu admitted honestly.
"But I… I just thought it best if we…" Buffy trailed off, when Satsu caressed her cheek and forced Buffy to meet her eyes again. The feeling she got while staring into them was simply indescribable.
"Yes?" Satsu asked.
Buffy swallowed before she could get herself to continue. "It…It scares me, Satsu." She whispered, ashamed of having admitted fear feeling something so emotional.
"What scares you, Buffy?" Satsu asked, moving some of Buffy's hair away from her eyes to see the myriad of emotions on her face.
Buffy swallowed again before taking a breath, suddenly feeling vulnerable as never before, completely defenseless before she found her voice again. "Us… I know you're in love with me and I care about you but… I don't know if I can call it 'love.' I mean, let's not kid ourselfes, we both know that this might never last and I'm not into… girls exclusively but I like you and I want to see it through but… it's just… I don't know how should I feel." She turned to Satsu with her eyes getting watery as Satsu wiped the tears off her face. "Face it, this isn't going to be permanent but I don't want to just bail and leave you and that just makes me feel like crap but I just don't feel like I could get into this… too deep. I'm not saying I don't want to, it's just… all messed up and I don't know what to do."
Satsu felt touched upon Buffy acknowledging their relationship, but was lost for words, unsure what to say, since she could understand Buffy's guilt and conflicted feelings as she nodded and gave Buffy an understanding look.
"I can't fight this." Buffy said, her voice almost a sob. She suddenly felt very immature for her age, she had only had short-time relationships before with men but it never lasted and she had never expressed interest in girls before but with Satsu, she felt something her other partners before had never given her. It was more than lust and desire, much deeper and Buffy couldn't fight it anymore. "I thought about that kiss… what we've done… for months, Satsu… and I just don't know what to do anymore."
"Buffy…" Satsu trailed off, seeing the sincerity in her eyes, but not sure what to say as they stared into each other's eyes until they began to near each other closer as their lips pressed against each other. The kiss took Buffy away and Satsu didn't feel excitement or rush as before. She could tell Buffy was holding back, afraid to fully let herself go and give in to her feelings after revealing how she had felt before they caressed each other's cheeks and jaws and chins, longing for more, with soft moans of desire leaving their mouths as they were kissing fiercely in loving tender. They held each other, snuggling close together in the middle of the cafeteria, foreheads resting against the others before few moments of silence passed between them as they pulled away.
"How long until we call this 'love'?" Satsu whispered jokingly, finally breaking the peaceful silence, laughing quietly while feeling Buffy's warm breath on her face.
"You tell me." Buffy chuckled, caressing Satsu's neck with her fingers. "I've never been in this deep before, at least not with girls."
Satsu chuckled back. "To be entirely honest… I don't think I have either but… whenever I'm alone with you… I just… you make me feel like I'm… whole again."
They met each other's eyes again, seeing innocence in each other that they had never seen before.
Satsu held Buffy by her cheek as they smiled at each other. "Don't be afraid, Buffy, I'm here for you, I promise."
Saying nothing more, Buffy leaned in for another passionate kiss as Satsu's hands slid down her neck and back, while Satsu moaned breathlessly as they were giving themselves to each other fully, holding each other close like they had never held another before, knowing that whatever was to come, they would both face it together.
"I could use some cold bath." Satsu said.
"Me too. Care for a swim?" Buffy asked.
"I don't even have swimwear." Satsu protested.
"Me neither." Buffy said with a smirk and Satsu blushed briefly as she realized what was Buffy up to.
They snuck into the swimming pool as both girls took off their clothes and underwear until they were stripped naked and sat at the edge of the pool and shuddered upon the cold from the water surging through their bodies. Both girls dove in and swam side-by-side and then dove underwater, kissing and caressing each other's bodies with more creativity in mind, since underwater they had more mobility than in bed as they playfully snuggled towards each other, while new ideas of lovemaking came to mind as they further rubbed each other's limbs and chests and backs.
They both later left the pool and went to the shower but neither one of them really had any intention of stopping their lovemaking as Satsu pinned Buffy to the wall of the shower stall, the warm water spraying on both of them as they kissed under the tendrils of the torrent of water pouring down on them. Buffy and Satsu both had handful of soap in their hands as they rubbed each other's arms, breasts, legs, continuing making out and Satsu rubbed Buffy's breasts, while Buffy pulled Satsu closer, grabbing her by the back of her head, while rubbing her stomach as they kissed passionately again before Buffy pulled away.
"What's wrong?" Satsu asked.
"Satsu, I… you're a nice girl and I like you but I think this should be as far as it goes." Buffy said.
"Because you don't love me as I love you. I understand." Satsu said, hurt but she wasn't going to cry over it or rage out. She suspected Buffy might not be into this deeper than sexually.
"I think we should stop before one of us does something we might regret." Buffy said.
"Do we have to stop now?" Satsu asked with a longing look and Buffy considered before they resumed the sex as Buffy grabbed Satsu by her butt and ran her other hand down Satsu's bare back, while Satsu tasted the skin on Buffy's shoulder as both girls moaned in pleasure.
The following evening, Buffy was out for a walk before she stopped at the door. "Dawn, remember to be in bed by midnight, OK?" She said as Dawn was watching TV.
"OK." Dawn said as Buffy left the house.
Few streets away, Buffy was walking down the grass until sensed someone sneaking up on her and Buffy sighed as she stopped. "Come on out. I know you're following me." She turned to face Satsu, who looked embarrassed and sheepish as Buffy looked at her with sympathy, as if Satsu was a lost adorable puppy. "Satsu, haven't we been over this? We both know that's not going to work out. I mean, we've had fun times and I like you… but… what you feel… I just don't feel. I don't want to hurt you, it just never goes deeper than sexually for me. You deserve to be loved but I can't give it to you."
"Look, Buffy, I get this might never last but I… I can't just let you go and I can't help it but there's something about you and I like myself around you… I-I-I like how you make me feel, I know we shouldn't but I feel like at least I must, I can't help it." Satsu blushed, embarrassed. "Oh, God, I don't even know what I'm saying, I must sound completely crazy."
"What, you're afraid it might push me away?" Buffy asked. "Look, I get it. You and I feel something between each other and we've got no idea whether it's right or wrong. And honestly, Satsu, I do like you, but… I wouldn't call how I feel about you 'love'. Don't get me wrong, I care about you, but I can't go in too deep, not with you. We both know this wouldn't last between us, but I'm touched that you've fallen in love with me."
Satsu looked clearly hurt and feeling the pain, not meeting Buffy's eyes as she looked away. "Can you just let it go, please? I really don't feel like talking anymore."
"Satsu—"
"It's just… I'm such a mess and shy and you are most of the time so sure of yourself. Honestly, half the time I don't get why would you want to be with me and that just makes me feel completely screwed up." Satsu admitted, ashamed.
Not knowing how to respond and seeing that Satsu didn't want to continue, Buffy leaned in and kissed her gently, a subtle hint of her tongue brushing along Satsu's lips. It worked, distracting her instantly.
"What do you feel now?" Buffy whispered and Satsu's breathing quickened before both girls laid down on the grass, pressing their bodies against each other, with Satsu placing herself on top of Buffy, their chests falling and rising, while they were rolling around the ground, caressing each other's bodies.
Satsu suddenly pulled away, breaking their kiss, their clothes now dirtied and pieces of grass covering them. "Buffy, are you sure about this? I mean, I don't want to rush you after… everything…"
"I don't want to wait anymore. You don't have to feel alone anymore." Buffy said as she smiled at the Japanese girl. "I'm here for you."
The blonde held Satsu by her cheek, feeling an indescribable longing surging through her body. She knew that Satsu was trying to protect her after she had let herself open her heart and feelings about Satsu, but Buffy had decided to fully succumb to her desires this time as she pulled Satsu in for a kiss, while Satsu slipped her hand under Buffy's shirt to feel the muscles on her chest and abdomen, tickling the skin on them, while Buffy giggled. Satsu then reached for Buffy's back to unclip her bra before she touched Buffy's breasts and then butt and both girls moaned in pleasure before Buffy reached for Satsu's waist, taking off her top, touching her shoulders, both girls stripping each other of their clothes and underwear before running their fingers down the skin on each other's naked bodies. They were kissing fiercely before Satsu reached into Buffy's womanhood and squeezed her breast and Buffy moaned, sensation flooding her, fiercer than before as their legs then entangled before Buffy did the same to Satsu and then rubbed her midsection and breasts, their legs entangled before Buffy tasted the skin on Satsu's neck as Satsu kissed Buffy on her cheek as they caressed the muscles on each other's arms, writhing and moaning in ecstatic sensation before both of them were tired and lying on the ground, panting out.
"That was… that was… wow." Buffy said, wiping the sweat off her face with her hand.
Satsu giggled as she rested her head on Buffy's shoulder. "'That was wow' pretty much covers it."
"Next time… we do this…" Buffy breathed, staring up at the night sky. "Let's do it in a bed next time, OK? It's more comfortable and less dirty."
"Or how about we later had shower sex to clean each other up again?" Satsu offered as Buffy chuckled.
"Well, I wouldn't say 'No' to that either." Buffy said and both girls giggled, laying down on the grass as it prickled their skin alongside the cold night air, naked as the day they were born and staring at each other. It was only them at the moment and no one else under the stars on the night sky, bathing in the glow of the moonlight before they rolled down the ground and kissed fiercely again, feeling goosebumps forming as they caressed each other's skin again.
"I lov—"
Buffy pressed her fingers to her lips to silence her. She shook her head, knowing she would fall apart if she heard those words. "Don't." She whispered. "Please…"
Satsu slid her fingers away from her mouth, then felt Buffy exhale in sorrow.
"I do though." Satsu whispered as she sighed and ran a hand through Buffy's blonde hair.
"Then let's make the night last." Buffy said before they resumed their lovemaking as Buffy placed herself on top of her and they kissed fiercely, once again exploring each other's bodies, losing themselves in each other again.
As the morning came and the sun shined into the bedroom, Buffy moaned softly and smiled as she heard the birds chirping outside the window, while taking note of the fact that she wasn't alone in bed. She turned to see Satsu, who was snuggling towards her beneath the covers of the bed and sleeping peacefully as they smiled at each other. They had been together for months now and they were amazed for how they ended up drawn to each other, both had been attracted to different people before and Buffy hadn't even found any interest in girls, even though she had some one-night stands, never serious commitments before Satsu and Buffy had to admit she felt happier than ever. She was pulled out of her musings however by the sound of Satsu moaning softly as she stirred, waking up.
"Good morning." Satsu said, smiling at her lover.
Buffy smiled and wrapped her arm around Satsu, pulling her closer and running her fingers down Satsu's hair. "Morning, beautiful."
Buffy then sat up, not caring that she was naked, the only person to see her was Satsu, who was also naked and after last night, neither one of the girls were really embarrassed anymore. Satsu had certainly proved she loved Buffy, body and soul, with the body getting special attention last night and whatever life would bring them, they would face it together. And Buffy cared about her and she knew deep down they wouldn't last but she would enjoy their time together for as long as she could.
Not entirely proud of it, considering how steamy and erotic it was, but I'm trying something different with steamier, mature versions of female pairings.
So, what do you guys think?
Please review and let me know if you have enjoyed this one-shot.
With regards
Bl4ckHunter