Disclaimer: I do not own Charmed, Constantine or anything else you may recognize
So I'm finally done with all of Charmed at last, and I loved it, though I liked the older Seasons more tbh, but still, a good show overall.
Last Season was my least favorite, mainly because of Billy and Christy, but I loved the finale, especially the final scene.
Anyway, we can all agree that the Elders are as bad as PTB in Buffyverse, if anything, they are like PTB and Watcher's Council in one, so I decided its time to school them.
Thank you to Brainstorm Sorcerer for his help with this, and this takes place in 7x16 during Leo's "fair" test.
Also, I'm imagining Matt Ryan's version for this, but this Constantine is basically 'All media types'.
Halliwell Manor
Piper was watering the plants in the dining room. Phoebe, Drake, and Paige were there too.
Phoebe asked Paige. "What do you mean you don't know?"
Paige informed her. "Leo went to speak to the Elders this morning. Haven't seen or heard from him since."
Phoebe was pretty annoyed. "Well, that's crazy. We've been to the Alps and back. How long does it take to hand down a sentence?"
Drake spoke up to them. "Well, in defense of the Elders, when you live for an eternity, time does get a little skewed."
"Yeah, well, we're human, so this is torture", Piper groaned.
"Well, this is ridiculous", Phoebe looked up at the ceiling. "Hey! Listen, what the hell did you do to Leo?"
Paige informed her. "I tried that already. Didn't work so much."
Phoebe made a decision. "Well, you know what? I'm not saving another innocent until I find out what happened." She again turned to the ceiling. "You hear me? I'm not saving another innocent until you tell us what's going on here."
Sandra then orbed in.
"Don't worry. Leo's fine."
Piper immediately asked. "So then where is he?"
Sandra informed the Charmed Ones and Drake. "Piper, the Elders came to the consensus that Leo has lost his way, so we've sent him on the path towards following his destiny."
Drake wondered. "Like the prodigal son out to find his way in the world?"
"Uh, you know what? This Elder-speak is not working for me", Piper then immediately demanded. "I need some straight answers. What exactly did you do to him?"
Sandra spoke the truth. "We erased his memories and put him back on Earth as a mortal, somewhere you'll never find him."
Phoebe spoke for everyone. "What? He doesn't remember anything? He doesn't remember Piper or his sons – nothing?"
"Not even having been an Elder."
"That's crazy. You don't have the right to wipe out someone's mind, an entire life, my life!" Piper snapped, rightfully enraged at these self-righteous Powers That Be! It was one of them whose actions had driven Leo to be an Avatar anyway!
Sandra spoke the usual Elder-speak again, trying to sound neutral. "Leo was not just someone, Piper. He was an Elder, by his own choice. He knew all that that entailed."
Piper told Sandra what else Leo was, things they had never approved he could be. "Yeah, he was also a husband and a father by choice, and he would never abandon his family."
"This was not an easy decision for us. We love Leo up there as much as you do down here. He wasn't killed or recycled. I hope that you can find comfort in that."
Piper walked towards her, not finding even a tiny bit of comfort, only a lot of anger inside of her at these Elders, who had been messing with her and Leo ever since they had fallen in love.
"I'm sorry. You just lobotomized the love of my life, and you want me to take comfort in what? You've got a lot of nerve, lady. Now, I don't want to see you again or any of your kind ever again. We're done with all of you. Now, please…go."
"Don't give up hope."
Piper snarled. "You really need to stop talking now. Please get out of my house." Sandra orbed out. "That's ridiculous."
Piper walked into the parlor. Phoebe followed. Piper sat on the couch.
Phoebe assured. "Okay, Piper, I know this seems really bad, but we can't give up hope. Leo is out there somewhere, and I'm sure there's lots of ways we can find him."
"How?"
Phoebe made some suggestions. "Uh, I don't know. We can scry for him, although he doesn't have his powers, so that might b-be difficult. We could – I don't know. I just, I don't know.
Paige asked. "This is your idea of a rah-rah speech? You're supposed to be cheering her up, not pushing her off the ledge!"
"I know someone who can help", Drake said as he walked in, all 3 sisters looking at him.
"Who?" Piper asked, immediately, wanting to save her husband as soon as possible.
"Is he some rogue Elder who is more powerful than all the rest combined?" Phoebe inquired.
"I'd make a deal with the Devil at this point", Piper muttered.
"Funny you should say that", Drake said with a chuckle, confusing them.
"It's not the Devil, is it?" Paige inquired.
"Oh no, it's a magician", Drake revealed, and they seemed disappointed.
"How is a magician supposed to get us Leo back from the Elders?" Piper inquired. "Here I thought you had a good idea."
"Oh I do", Drake said with a shrug. "He is no ordinary magician."
"Neither are we, we're the Charmed Ones, remember? And we can't do a thing here either", Phoebe shook her head.
"Yes, but he is the greatest trickster and manipulator I have ever met, we don't get along much due to how cynical he is, while I believe in love and romance, but for a job like this, he is perfect", Drake told the three, though they still didn't look convinced. "Okay, here's an example. He once made 3 separate deals with the Source of all Evil, Barbas and the Angel of Death, promising his soul to each and every one of them, and at day's end, he walked out of all three deals with his soul intact, and none of them could do a thing about it."
Now all three had their eyes wide, this guy was that good? He managed to trick 3 powerful beings, 2 really evil, and faced no consequences? What was he?
"Okay, I'm convinced, can you get in touch with him?" Piper inquired.
"I can", Drake confirmed.
"Okay, we have no time to waste, ask him to come at the Golden Gate Bridge", Piper ordered immediately, and Drake nodded, walking off to do as told.
Golden Gate Bridge
The Charmed Ones were waiting, having left Wyatt and Chris in the care of Victor, when they saw Drake arrive, holding some supplies. "He asked me to get these."
"Wonder how he'll use them", Paige thought, seeing one of the items was a peacock feather.
And then they saw a blonde man in a trench coat arrive, hands in his pockets, as he eyed the 3 sisters with some lust in his eyes, disgusting them, but considering what they'd heard of him, and the fact that he was their only chance to get Leo back, best not to say a thing against him.
"Hello ladies", the man said, taking their hands and kissing them one by one each. "John Constantine, at your service. You are the Charmed Ones, eh?"
He shrugged. "Pleased to meet you, didn't think the most powerful Witches destined to exist would need the help of a guy like me though."
"Can you do what you have come here to do?" Piper simply asked.
"Right, getting those sods up there to give dearly beloved back to you", Constantine remembered before turning to Drake, and kissing his hand too. "Of course you'd support something like that, you were always a fool for love."
"Better than being a cynic", Drake shrugged, as they chuckled.
"What do you need a peacock feather for?" Paige inquired.
"Oh no, that's just because", Constantine took it from Drake and to all of their disgust, used it to scratch his back, making them cringe, and then he threw it away before taking the rest of it. "Well luv, this could get dangerous, so stand back."
"We've faced the Source of all Evil, Barbas, the Titans, and the Avatars, I think we can handle this", Phoebe told him.
"This thing puts them all to shame", Constantine said as he drew a circle, then chanted in Latin as it glowed and then the glow faded.
Then Constantine took a bowl Drake held and put it down on the ground, before taking out a knife and slicing his palm, letting the blood drop into it.
He then got up and told them. "Well, luv, I'm prepared, call 'em."
Piper looked up and demanded. "I want to see you all right now! Come to us, or we won't save any innocents!"
After a few seconds, Odin and Sandra appeared before them as Odin snarled. "Why do you call on us?"
"Oh hey, nice to see you again, mate", Constantine greeted Odin, who immediately looked enraged on seeing Constantine.
"You", Odin snarled, pointing at Constantine, as Sandra glared at him too.
"You two know each other?" Paige asked, quipping about it.
"Unfortunately", Odin snarled.
"Well, you're gonna return this lovely lady's dearly beloved, and do anything else she asks you to", Constantine then told Odin casually, as if he was telling a garbage man to collect the trash.
"How dare you speak to me this way?" Odin snapped.
Instead of gracing him with a response, Constantine chanted, and then in the middle of the circle appeared a monstrous white being with reddish eyes, and some of his face was red too, and he roared loudly.
The 2 Elders actually backed off in fear as it tried to run at them but a glow appeared around the circle, pushing it back in, and it asked. "What is this?"
"Hello mate", Constantine waved at it before turning to the Elders. "As you can see, I am very familiar with Pazuzu, and how he has been trying to kill you lot."
He then raised both hands, preparing to snap his fingers. "If I snap the fingers of my right hand, the barriers goes, and it comes to kill you, and if I snap the fingers of my left one, it goes away. So, how will it be?"
Odin and Sandra exchanged a look, then glared at Constantine and the sisters as Sandra said to Piper. "Well played."
"Not her, I did this", Constantine reminded.
"What are your demands?" Odin asked.
"Well, obviously, dearly beloved must be returned", Constantine shrugged before saying. "I'll let them decide."
"Give Leo back to us, with all of his memories, and his Elder powers, but he stays with us, not you, and don't interfere in our lives ever again", Piper told the two of them.
"Fine", Odin said as he orbed away, and then appeared with Leo, who looked confused before noticing Piper. "Piper?"
"Leo!" Piper said happily as she hugged him, and they shared a loving kiss before she hugged with a sound that was a mix of a laugh and a sob. "I never thought I'd see you again."
"I'll always come back to you", Leo assured as Paige and Phoebe smiled.
"See? Love conquers all!" Drake said happily.
"I conquer all, mate", Constantine corrected before tossing Odin his knife. "This is a blood oath. And make sure your blood falls in that container and mixes with mine, if you break your word after this, you know what will happen."
Odin glared at Constantine while cutting his palm, letting the blood fall into the bowl and mix with Constantine's.
"All right then, since you followed your word, I'll call Pazuzu off", Constantine said mockingly before turning to Pazuzu. "Pazuzu, stop hunting those Elders."
"Fine", Pazuzu snarled, and then Odin and Sandra quickly orbed away before Constantine changed his mind.
"All right then", Constantine shrugged as he snapped his fingers and Pazuzu disappeared, and then he started laughing.
"What's so funny?" Drake asked.
"Pazuzu was after the Elders because I set him on them in the first place", Constantine revealed, to their shock.
"Why?" Paige asked.
"So I could call it off and make them owe me a debt", Constantine shrugged before looking at them. "And now you lot owe me too."
"We'll do anything you want", Piper assured Constantine.
"Nothing yet", Constantine told her.
"Thanks for helping me get back to my wife", Leo said as he held out his hand, and Constantine shook it.
"No worries mate", Constantine assured before walking off, whistling, as they all watched him.
"Next time we're in a pinch, we'll call him", Paige told the rest, and for some reason, none of them disagreed.
Finally finished with this, hope all enjoyed, and thanks to Brainstorm Sorcerer for his help again.
See you all next time with some other update.