AN: Trigger warnings to things are present. Don't like don't read.
I don't own Rizzoli & Isles. I just borrow them and some dialogue at times.
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Jane jerked awake as she rolled over and felt an empty bed beside her. She sat up quickly as her heart slammed into her chest, the loud thundering boom echoing throughout the house. She frowned as she heard a soft voice coming from the open door.
"When you get older, I'll explain everything to you, but I just hope you both can forgive me for it." Maura's voice was gentle and low.
She slowed her breathing and her heart rate as she slowly slipped out of bed and carefully made her way to the doorway, listening to Luca's anxious voice respond, "Mama has nothing to forgive you for Mommy. It wasn't your fault."
Maura chuckled, "I wish everyone could see it that way sweetie." Another clap of thunder rang through the silent house and Maura's voice was firm and comforting, "It's okay sweetie. Thunder won't hurt you."
Luca's voice was scratchy as if he had been crying and it broke her heart to hear it as the boy spoke again, "Th-th-thunder is just the r-ra-rapid expansion of air surrounding the p-p-path of a lightning bolt."
"That's right and you are safe inside. You know I won't let anything happen to you and neither will Mama." Maura said softly.
She leaned against the door jamb and took in the sight before her. Maura was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner with Luca clinging to her, his face buried in Maura's neck. She felt her heart swell and clench at the same time. She had wanted this sight in front of her before Luca had been born and now that it was here, she hated that her son was afraid. She wanted to take his fear away. She didn't want her child to be afraid of things, things that she could protect him from.
She watched Maura tighten her hold around their son as an idea came to her. She slipped back to their room and searched the back of the closet, finding what she was looking for she quickly returned to her son's room. She smiled at Maura as her fiancé glanced up at her, fear filling her eyes for a split second before the wall was brought up.
She frowned at that for a second before smiling at Luca, "You know Luca, as a kid I was afraid of thunderstorms too." She sat cross legged on the floor in front of Maura and Luca.
Luca shifted in Maura's lap to look down at her, "You were?"
She nodded and opened her arms, "Come here and I'll show you how I got through it."
Luca quickly slid down from Maura's lap and dove into hers, curling into her chest tightly. She felt her throat tighten with emotion as her son clung to her in terror. She kissed the top of his head before holding up her old stuffed animal in front of them.
"This is Cuebone. I had this little dog as a child, and he went with me everywhere. He was my best friend at your age."
She grinned as Luca ran his fingers over the old stuffed dog. She glanced up at Maura and saw the tears glazing over the hazel eyes that were watching her intently. She quickly returned her attention back to Luca as the boy took the dog in his hands.
"When thunder would scare me, I would hold Cuebone and talk to him. I would tell him I was scared but that I knew it was just thunder. It was something that couldn't hurt me, and you know what?"
Luca looked up at her, his wide hazel eyes full of curiosity as another clap of thunder shook the house, "It made me feel better. Cuebone listened to everything I had to say, and he made me forget how scared I was. He made me brave."
Luca grinned as he clutched the stuffed dog to his chest, "So Cuebone made you the bravest person in the whole world. Can I keep him?" Maura chuckled.
She grinned at the boy, "Of course. Now let's get you back into bed."
Luca smiled, clutching the toy to his chest as he shifted in Jane's lap to wrap one arm around her neck. She slowly got to her feet glaring at Maura as her fiancé laughed. She tucked Luca in and kissed his cheek before stepping back and watching Maura do the same.
She followed Maura out of the room and stood listening at the doorway. Luca began talking to the stuffed dog as the thunder sounded outside and she smiled at Maura. Maura shook her head at her before turning and heading back to their room.
"What?" She hurried after the woman, closing the door behind herself.
Maura shook her head, "Nothing. You just have a way with children Jane."
She shrugged, "So do you, Ms. I don't want kids because I hate kids."
Maura scoffed, "That was years ago Jane."
She nodded, "Exactly and now look at you. You are an amazing woman Maura, but you have one huge flaw."
Maura's jaw dropped and she gasped, "I do not."
She nodded as she leaned towards her fiancé, "You leave this bed one more time without waking me and you're going to find out what it is."
She watched Maura's hazel eyes darken slightly before she captured the woman's lips in a searing kiss. Passion flared quickly as they deepened the kiss and after a few minutes they were stripped naked, their soft moans filling the quiet air as they tried to remain quiet.
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Maura stood on the back porch, her hands resting gently on the wooden railing as she watched Jane and Luca chasing each other in the yard. The sun was warm overhead, but the air was quickly becoming thick with the humidity from the storm that was approaching.
She couldn't believe it had been two weeks since she had been home, since she had seen Jane again. Time seemed to be moving so fast yet so slow at the same time. She'd had a meeting with the governor that morning about returning to her job, but she wasn't sure if that's what she wanted anymore. She missed working with Jane and the others, but she wasn't sure that returning to work would be a good idea.
The governor was adamant that she take her post back as Chief Medical Examiner for the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, his insistence adding a raise and a bonus to her already higher than average paycheck.
However, money had always been something she never thought about too much. Her only concern was Luca and the fact that they hadn't really been separated very much since he was born. Even in New Mexico Luca hadn't been far from her at the corner's office.
She had called her father and left a message for him to get back to her as soon as possible, Paddy having decided to stick close to her and Luca in Boston. She was happy that he and Jane seemed to be getting along, if nothing else for her and Luca's sake.
Korsak was going over the results of the lab testing on the bullet that Paddy had pulled from her shoulder two weeks ago and were trying to find a way to compare it to Dean's gun without raising any flags in the process.
Jane had taken the last two weeks off to spend it with her and their son. The woman had more than enough vacation time built up over the last five years to take months off at a time. She and Jane had fallen back into a rhythm in their lives. Sleeping together, cooking together, everything they had been doing together.
She wasn't out of Jane's sight for more than a second for the last two weeks and this morning was the first time they had been apart. Five minutes after leaving the house Jane had called her cell phone, the hint of fear in her voice. She knew it would take time for Jane to be okay with being apart.
It was one of the things running through her mind as far as the job was concerned. While she was out of Jane's sight at least the woman would know she was very close, and she could see her whenever she wanted just like before. She had seen Jane struggle with not being able to go with her to the meeting, something she would always feel guilty for, for the rest of her life.
She watched Jane's smile cross her face as the taller woman wrapped her arms around their laughing son and lifted him off his feet. It was a sight she had longed for in the years she had been gone and being able to see it now made her heart swell.
Jane frowned over at her, "When did you get home?"
She swallowed the thick emotion in the back of her throat as she smiled softly, "A few minutes ago."
Jane sat Luca back on his feet and the boy ran towards her, "Mommy! Did you get your job back?"
Maura moved down the steps and caught the boy as he jumped towards her. She kissed his cheek and smiled at him, "Not yet."
She caught the worried look on Jane's face as she listened to Luca's explanation of what he and Jane had been up to all morning. Jane made the excuse of making lunch and quickly disappeared into the house. She frowned for a moment before looking back at Luca.
"Is Mama okay?"
Luca shook his head, "I heard her talking to Nonna on the phone while I was eating breakfast. She was scared you weren't going to come home. She said she was feeling like she did when she got the call about you going missing."
She frowned as she carried Luca up the stairs, "How was she after?"
Luca shrugged his shoulders, "She wouldn't stop looking at her phone and pacing so I finally got her to play with me outside."
She grinned at the wide grin on her son's face, "You did good honey."
She sat Luca on his feet once they were in the kitchen and she moved towards Jane, "Hey."
Jane didn't look at her as she whispered, "How did the meeting go?"
She frowned as she tried to look at Jane's face, but the woman shifted slightly away from her. She felt her chest tighten at the sudden distance between them before she spoke, "He want's me to take the job. He moved Kent back to assistant and has already had my badge waiting for me."
"Are you going to take it?" Jane asked, her voice resembling more of her interrogation voice.
She stepped back, crossing her arms over her chest, "I haven't decided yet."
She could feel the walls resuming their position, knowing that something was off with Jane, and it was because of her. She didn't want this to hang over their heads for the rest of their lives, but she also knew it wasn't going to go away quickly either. They had talked about most of everything over the last two weeks, about how everything had gone down, and she knew Jane was angry.
Jane and anger went hand in hand. She was the hot-headed Italian that she had always been, but it had been something that Maura had admired. She couldn't see Jane submitting to anyone, except her and that was only in the privacy of their bedroom. She also knew that when Jane got like this it was best to back away slowly so her head wouldn't get bitten off.
Jane glanced over at her, "Why not?"
She could hear the undercurrent of Jane's temper simmering beneath the words that she was speaking. She just couldn't figure out where the anger was coming from. She knew she should just walk away and let Jane calm down, give the woman as much space as possible. The only problem with that was the fact that Jane wasn't giving her space.
"I've only been back for two weeks. I haven't decided if I want to go straight back to work." She said, her tone slightly tinged with her own frustration.
"Home."
She frowned, "What?"
Jane turned to her, brown eyes blazing with anger now, "Home Maura. You've been home for two weeks Maura."
She felt the beginnings of a headache, "That's what I said."
Jane shook her head angrily, "No you said you've been back for two weeks. You have yet to call this place your home, to say you've been home or that you're at home."
She frowned, her mind quickly struggling to understand what Jane meant, "Why are you so angry?"
Jane shook her head, "Forget it." Jane turned back to the food she was working on.
"No. Jane tell me. Why are you so angry at me?" She snapped, her frustration boiling over.
Jane spun back to her, "You won't call this place home. Do you even want to be here? Do you even want to be here with me? Or are you just here because Luca wanted me."
She felt her heart tighten, "Jane-"
Jane shook her head, "I want an answer, Maura. You won't call this house your home and you haven't called me your fiancé once. You don't even seem like you want me around."
She felt herself snap, "Because you won't let me out of your sight. I have been with you every second of every day for the last two weeks." She took a deep breath to calm herself, "I know that this isn't going to go away anytime soon but you have to at least try."
Jane glared at her as her temper took over, "Maybe because there is nothing holding you here. I'm not enough to hold you here apparently."
She felt her heart drop into her stomach, "Everything I ever did was for you, Jane. I came back for you."
"Then why won't you call this home?" Jane snapped, "If you don't want it to be then there's the door. I won't stop you."
She narrowed her eyes at Jane, "Because this isn't my home. You are my home Jane and I thought of all people you would understand that."
She spun on her heel and made her way out the front door, slamming it behind her. She ignored the pain that gripped her chest as she made her way through the darkening streets of Boston. Jane was her home and always had been. The house, even Boston, didn't mean anything to her. Wherever Jane was is where she wanted to be, but it felt as if Jane didn't trust her anymore.
She knew Jane was being overprotective as usual but the thought that Jane didn't trust hurt more than she ever thought it would. She would never do anything to willingly put herself in the situation she had before. She had wanted to tell Jane, to run to her and ignore Dean and everything else but she made the decision to protect Jane above all else.
Now that decision was coming back to bite her in the ass.
She hated fighting with Jane and knowing Luca had probably heard it all didn't help her heart or her mind.
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She lost track of how long she had been walking when a black SUV pulled along side the sidewalk next to her and she shook her head as the window rolled down, "How'd you know?"
"Rizzoli called me an hour ago and said you stormed out of the house after you two argued. You've been gone for three hours and it's driving her up the wall." Paddy said with a smirk, "Got your old man's temper."
She glared at him, "I've had enough for one night."
His smirk disappeared, "Come stay at the warehouse. Take some time to cool off, take a small break from everything." She slipped into the vehicle next to him as he continued, "She doesn't realize that you haven't had time, just like her. Everything has been happening so fast and neither one of you have had a chance to just sit back and process everything."
She stared out the window as the tall buildings passed, her heart and mind struggling to accept his truth. She knew he was right, but she hated fighting with Jane.
"Maura, everything is going to be fine. Korsak called me. He got the results back from the ballistic tests."
Her head snapped around, "What are they?"
Paddy's eyes darkened, "It was Dean's gun. He shot you in that alley way. Korsak and Cavanaugh are going to pull the case evidence tonight and start going over everything."
She frowned as she shook her head, "They won't find it. Gabriel made sure that disappeared back when this all started."
Paddy frowned as he fell silent, each lost in their own thoughts.
How was she going to fix things with Jane while at the same time trying to get her life back on track. She wanted to return to work, get back into her usual routine and find one for Luca. She wasn't sure how things got so confusing, but she knew she needed to speak to Jane, but her mind wasn't up for it.
She stepped out of the SUV with Paddy once they were inside the warehouse and her eyes landed on Paddy's top lieutenant, "Emily!" She rushed forward and wrapped her arms around the woman's neck.
The woman chuckled as she hugged her tightly, "I was beginning to think you were ignoring me, Maura."
She pulled back and shook her head, a wide smile on her face, "Never. What are you doing here? I thought you were back in Ireland."
The woman shook her head, her auburn hair which was more on the red side shifted slightly, "I was until Paddy said you were in trouble."
She frowned over at her father, "What trouble?"
Paddy smiled innocently, "I never said trouble."
She rolled her eyes at her father before turning back to Emily, "It's been a long two weeks."
Emily wrapped her arm around her waist, "Come. Tell me all about it, babe."
She allowed Emily to lead her deeper into the warehouse as she let everything go. She told her everything that had happened from the moment she returned to Boston. It felt as if a weight was being lifted from her chest as she spoke, but she couldn't shake the guilt she had when it came to Jane.
She needed to make things right with Jane, but she wasn't sure how to do that.