Japan. I have been to Tokyo, but it was sixteen years ago. I'm sure it's still full of smoking businessmen, bright electronic billboards, and Hello Kitty. Oh, and people who want to stroke the head of any blondes they come across (at least if they're little and cute – I was twelve and my hair started darkening when I was thirteen). Here's a fun fact: The first ever novel came from a Japanese lady-in-waiting of the Empress of the time, Murasaki Shikibu. Her story, The Tale Of Genji, is still in print today. That was in the 9th century.

Thanks for reviewing, OmnipotentAbsoluteUIGodzilla, iwashere01, AnonBrowser, PG.182227 and lordgemini.

First Class was only calm and peaceful for as long as the first night. I didn't sleep perfectly, but the reclining seats made it a little easier. However, as soon as breakfast (I got a boiled egg and fried mushrooms) was over, Heather and Courtney started arguing over who was leader, and Gwen said they didn't even need a leader because they were winning.

"I have plans to keep it that way," Courtney said grandly, "So think about me as leader."

"You're, like, not the only person on the team, Courtney." Heather argued back. "There's my friend Sierra to consider."

Yeah, she'd started befriending Sierra. Who was, right at that moment, going through Cody's things, which included sniffing his shoes, inhaling so heavily that the shoelace went up her nose.

Since Chris had told me we were going to Japan already, I wasn't expecting to get debriefed on anything but the challenges, but at that moment, Chris put his head around the First Class compartment door and nodded to me.

"Elimination challenge, but don't tell them that." he instructed me. "Human pinball first with baby pandas – but we only have two, so you find an extra for the third team. You can choose the teammate who gets into the pinball or let them choose. Then we've got a Japanese commercial for Total Drama Action which you'll have to show them. The Japanese people love us. Then tell the contestants that they have to make a commercial for a new sweet Chef's made. Don't worry, he'll judge that part. They can use anything they find in the cargo hold – highest score at pinball gets first pick."

I nodded. "Got it, Chrissy. Shall I call everyone to the common area to talk location?"

"Go for it." Chris nodded.

So I went to the intercom. "Co-captain to contestants. Time for everyone to meet in the common area to get debriefed!"

Before I spoke to the teams, I quickly checked all fifteen were there. "Okay, everyone," I said, "Hope you guys are ready for today's challenge."

"Is it a reward or an elimination challenge?" Harold asked me immediately.

I was sort of pleased. He had totally adjusted to seeing me as a host, not a contestant. "Good question, Harold." I said cheerfully. "But sorry, not allowed to tell you."

"Two of us got booted out last time," Tyler whispered to his team, "So today has reward written all over it."

"I could use a reward." Lindsay said excitedly. "I hope it's candy! Or a whole bunch of shoes! Or shoes made of candy!"

I couldn't believe it. They all were sure it was a reward challenge. "Just keep in mind there's no guarantee there's a reward. Or an elimination. It could be either. Or both," I told them. "Hopefully, you'll think the location is a reward in itself, because we have a great place in mind. The home of Sony, sushi and shoe codes for working women – Japan!" (If you're a working woman in Japan, the law says you have to wear heels).

Chef appeared in some kind of cultural costume.

"Gosh, you guys, that's totally a Chinese outfit." Harold announced.

"I didn't choose it, Harold." I said shortly. "Now, you're going to be singing in a sec, and anyone who-"

"It's just, you really think you'd work harder to get it right." Harold went on.

"Just shut up and stop complaining about something I didn't have a choice in, Harold." I snapped. "Just reminding you not to refuse to sing, because then you'll be immediately disqualified."

Harold still wasn't listening. "Your cultural insensitivity is just, gosh! I mean, GOSH!"

Chef was getting just as annoyed as me. He literally slashed the door open and all the contestants flew out. And I had to make them sing.

"Seriously?" Noah called as soon as he heard the bell. "I mean, SERIOUSLY?"
"Sing, and you'll get a softer landing!" I called down. "Meet you down there!"

Chef landed us next to the giant bowl of rice the contestants were meant to land in. That meant I didn't hear the song. It did get recorded by hidden cameras, but I didn't actually hear the song at the time. Just screaming after the song was over and before they all landed safely.

I knew that it was a good idea to keep quiet as they all broke out, but it didn't stop me observing. Alejandro was flirting again, this time with Leshawna, who he smoothly complimented in fluent Japanese. I took him at his word that he'd called her "beautiful as a flower", since I didn't know Japanese. Harold, though, didn't look too pleased.

We started off in a Tokyo game show studio – human pinball.

"I love Japanese game shows!" Tyler exclaimed.

"Sweet!" Harold high-fived him. "My favourite is 'Human Ichi My Car Go-Go', where you have to throw a banana into a car window with a-"
"Giant shrimp fork! Awesome!"

There was a Japanese-style gong hanging to the side, which I immediately hit to get their attention. "Hey, love it that you two are so passionate, but you can quit talking about Japanese game shows and maybe talk about the Canadian one that you're on? We're not just here for games, we've got a challenge!"

I told them all about the pinball game. Each team would get into a ball and their teammates would bat them around a pinball board, with a "local surprise" (I was just waiting for Harold to complain about the baby panda also being Chinese), "Except for one team," I added, "Who'll take two ball people."

The teams started whispering, choosing a player, when I stopped them. "I'm choosing who's on what team and who's not getting the local surprise." I'd thought about who was on what team already and how good they'd be at dealing with rolling inside a ball, and a panda.

"For Team Victory," I began, "I've chosen Bridgette. Team Chrissy Is Really Really Really Really Not Hot, Alejandro. You two will get the surprises, and I'll hand them to you in a minute. Team Amazon, Courtney and Heather, you two can go together." I'd decided on that after their power struggle moment. Also, I hadn't wanted them to pick the team because I just knew that Sierra was dying to get Cody alone. Who knew what she'd do in a small, confined space?

As for the pandas, before Harold could say anything, I said "Yes, I know they're Chinese, but they're easier to find than tanuki, so no one needs to say anything. Right, Harold?"

Alejandro got on better with his panda then I expected. It looked as if it wanted to claw his eyes out, but the minute he caught it, he held it and said in a crooning voice "Well, hello, handsome creature. May I scratch your ears or get you a tasty cookie?"

Izzy and the Team Victory girls all "awwed" at that, and I couldn't blame them. Bridgette, on the other hand, had a harder time with her panda. She had to hang onto it tightly to stop it beating her about the head.

Either way, the points didn't lie. Courtney and Heather, I guessed, spent the whole time arguing and they seemed angry when they came out, first and with the least points. Alejandro's panda, however, was helpful and they came out first (well, last, but with the most points) easily. Team Victory came in right in the middle, and there were a few claw holes in Bridgette's hoodie, but she looked all right mostly and the panda seemed comfortable, so she'd clearly managed to win it over after minor wear and tear.

After that, we moved into a room where I showed them the Total Drama Action commercial. To be totally honest, I was just as surprised as them. Everyone except Chris was dubbed, but all in English. I don't think we were even saying the same things we said on the show.

There was a pause when the commercial ended. Noah spoke first. "Um…what." His voice was flat.

"That was the Japanese promo." I explained. "They absolutely love Total Drama over here. They'll be making Hello Kitty pencil grips with our outfits next."

"Okay, but that was in English," Courtney pointed out, "So why are they dubbing our voices?"

I shrugged. "I'm getting dubbed too, remember. I guess the locals don't like hearing Canadian accents or something. I know, it sucks. Anyway, on with the challenge, where your voices won't be dubbed. You guys are going to create and shoot your own commercial. Chef is making this new sweet called Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails. It's hitting the Japanese market soon. You guys need to make a commercial of it, and Chef will judge them, since it's his product. Here's a sample if you guys want to use them." I tossed a packet to each team. "You can use anything you find in the cargo hold. Team Chrissy Is Really Really Really Really Unhot, you guys get first pick. Team Victory, you can go after them, and Team Amazon will have to make do with whatever's left over, since you guys came last in pinball."

While the teams were setting up and the cameras weren't watching me, I went to Chris, who was still watching from a distance. Chef had been cross with him earlier about not paying a real commercial firm, but apart from that, things seemed to be going okay. "How am I doing?" I asked.

Chris shrugged. "A little too nice to the contestants, but you're not totally screwing up. Don't be afraid to mess with them more. The gong to shut up Tyler and Harold was a good start. So was teaming up Courtney and Heather, although I would've made Cody and Sierra team up."

"I was kind of hoping to help them out, actually, "I muttered, "But it just made things worse. Maybe if Team Amazon loses today, we'll lose one of them."

After that, I was allowed to circuit the teams. Team Chris was setting up a little toy town, and Owen was dressed up as a monster. Huh, very Japanese.

Harold was dressed up as a samurai and was ordering his team to make it more sombre. None of them looked particularly impressed.

I couldn't even find most of Team Amazon. I only found two of them. Sierra had her arms full of props, while Cody was filming her, asking "You know what you're doing?"

"I have no idea, and it's thrilling!" Sierra squealed.

All too soon, the filming was over and everyone was ready to watch the ads. We started with Team Chris'.

Okay, it wasn't terrible. Owen played a pretty good monster, tearing apart parts of the town the team had set up. Okay, he did say "monster noises" instead of making them, but that was okay. The rest of the team dressed up as the military.

"Oh no!" cried Alejandro. "The large, out-of-shape monster!" He sounded genuine enough.

"We must run!" Tyler yelled. He wasn't too bad, just a bit too loud.

"Think of the children!" Noah called out. He was terrible. You could tell he didn't care at all what he was saying. Who had written his lines?

"He's so hot!" Izzy exclaimed. Well, whoever it was, she hadn't written them, and that probably wasn't the line she was supposed to say either.

Finally, Alejandro pulled out the packet. "Wait! We shall stop him this way!" He tossed a fishtail that got to Owen's mouth in the next cut.

Owen stopped destroying things and smiled. "Oh! Delicious!"

This was followed by a swirling yellow screen where Monster-Owen danced and the heads of everyone else appeared in a corner as they sang a jingle. "Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time, Candy Fishtails, better than no-no

Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time, tastes so good, wash your face!"

It was almost so bad it was good, but I reckoned it stood a good chance, especially after Team Victory's one. I suspected Harold had gotten a little too into Japanese culture, because it didn't make much sense. Also, halfway through, Bridgette nudged a frozen DJ and whispered "Psst! DJ, your line!"

I got the start of the story. Harold, as the samurai, came to a group of village people (the rest of the team), who begged for food. After Bridgette had a line, the camera focused on Harold…lying on the ground, for some reason…and he whispered "Duty. Honour. Total Drama Yum-Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fishtails…eat them fast. Time is fleeting. Gosh."

The other eighty percent of Team Victory looked thoroughly embarrassed, and I had to say it. "I get the Japanese flavour…but how on earth was that a commercial? Did someone have too much of their own vision in there?"

As I spoke, I made eye contact with Harold, but he didn't look ashamed, like the rest of his team. He was still wearing the samurai costume and saying it was art. Something about the earth crying out. I had a good quip to make about that, too. "Wow. Interesting point, Harold, but the challenge wasn't to make art or a metaphor. It was to make a stupid commercial." Then I turned to the last team. "Team Amazon?"

The three girls who had stormed off glanced at each other. I heard every word they whispered to each other.

"This is humiliating!" Gwen groaned.

"What do we tell her?" Heather hissed.

Courtney finally spoke up. "Toni, as the leader of Team Amazon, it falls to me to tell you that our team-"

"Didn't come up with an amazing title for our awesome commercial!" Cody interrupted. "Let's just call it…'Huh?'"

It was very short. They had explosions, spinning masks, a seagull eating, a fishtail in a tank. I didn't even know what to make of it.

So I just smiled vaguely and turned to our judge. "So, Chef, what's your pick?"

Chef paused for a moment, and then said "Toni, I think I gotta go with Team Amazon. I don't know, I just love exploding doughnuts."

The team was cheering and complimenting Cody immediately.

I still had one more question to ask Chef. "But…well, which commercial was just the worst thing ever?"

No surprise when Chef pointed at Team Victory. "Those guys with that sad donkey thing? You lose! You're sending someone home, tonight."

And this time, I was going to get to do the elimination ceremony as well. I wasn't sure what to do with it.

Chris, luckily, gave me a few pointers. "Remind the viewers of what the contestants have to do. Make sure you do a snappy outro. Oh, and last time, Lindsay stamped everyone's passport multiple times, so you might want to remind her specifically of what to do? She might still not get it right, but no harm in reminding her. I'm kind of hoping she'll get to the end again."

I gave him a piercing look. "And you're still saying it's for fanservice, right? Why can't you just settle for one feminine eye candy? Courtney's still gorgeous. So's Heather."

"And you don't have to feel guilty for rooting for Lindsay because she's beautiful." Chris shrugged. "Those two are awful people. Lindsay's not."

Either way, I remembered to remind the team of stamping the passport of who they wanted to send home, and Lindsay especially, and the bags went to the girls smoothly. But before I could announce who was going home, Harold got to his feet. "Wait! It was I who brought dishonour to our team! Only one thing can restore the balance!" He actually mimed killing himself with a toy lightsabre, then fell out of the plane door without the parachute.

I chucked one down after him, calling "Grab it, Harold! You don't deserve to die, really!"

Then I turned to the camera. "Sayonara, Japan. Arigato for all the fun we had. Where are we headed next? Fourteen left, and a whole lot of the world to go to. Find out where, next time, on Total! Drama! World Tour…!"

Yep, Toni sang those last words. Sometimes Chris does it, sometimes he doesn't. No differences yet, but you may have noticed something about DJ. Yep, he has it easier because of something he lacks. The animal maiming curse is not here. IMO, it was a stupid plot and so I'm not including it. See ya next time! Oh – and a few more things. The reason I spelled one word "ichi" in the game show Harold and Tyler were talking about is because that means "one" in Japanese. "Arigato" means "thank you".