A/N: Hello everyone, and Happy (slightly belated) Grey's day! I actually haven't had a chance to watch the S18 premier, as I don't have a television anymore, and I really don't livestream a lot of stuff, so it might be a couple days before I can get my hands on a fresh episode. But anyway...

Enjoy!

She'd fallen asleep on the bridge, and when she'd woken up, Derek was there. Still. He'd helped her to her feet, dusted her off, and took her hand.

"I want to show you something," he'd said.

So, in the twilight of morning, she followed him across the bridge and off the beaten path, through the trees, past the dead oak tree and down by the creek.

"There," Derek pointed to a small cave.

Now here she was, at the top of some cliff, staring into a dark crevice.

"Derek."

"It's okay," he said.

Okay like what? Like she should just follow him inside? "What is this place?"

He leaned against the rock, peering into the cave as well. "It's a secret hiding place."

"Well, I can see that-"

"I left something for you."

"In there?"

He nodded.

"Derek."

He had this faraway look. The blue in his eyes was midnight, save for the spark from the rising sun.

"Please don't go."

He cocked his head. "Even if you can't see me anymore, I'm still with you."

"I know. I just- I'm scared." Without him, the bed's too big, the house too silent, the world too dark.

The morning light brightened, taking over his form, outshining it. His fingertips brushed the palm of her hand. She shivered. I can live without you. But I don't want to. I don't ever want to.

"You can do this," he said. "You can do this, Meredith." His cheek grazed hers. "You have to," he whispered in her ear. Now she stared into the abyss. What could he possibly have left for her?

…

"Mommy!"

Bailey's shriek jolted her. Meredith shook her head and turned to see her little boy on the bank below, running toward her, followed by Zola and Carolyn, and—

Oh God, how long had she been gone that they had to send out a search party? She suddenly felt a wave of dizziness, and reached to catch the cliff wall, unable to move as her kids, Cassie, Sam, and Carolyn climbed up to her.

xxx

Cassie was the first of the group to make it up, and she turned to help the kids get closer to their mom.

"Mommy!" Zola called.

"Momma!" Bailey exclaimed also, kicking up gravel as he ran to Meredith. The two of them wrapped their arms around their beloved mother.

"I missed you," Zola told her. "Did you see daddy?"

"Yeah." Meredith sniffed. "Yeah, I saw him." She sank down with Bailey and Zola in her arms, moving to sit in her lap.

"Are you all right?" Carolyn asked.

Meredith didn't answer, or, if she did, Cassie didn't hear beneath the noises of the kids loving their mother. She sighed, and stepped closer to the cave to peer inside.

"Okay, now you're getting hot," Jake said.

Cassie smiled, "I know." She ran her fingers against the rough, damp inside wall of the cave. "Funny, I never knew this place existed before."

"It's amazing what you can find, off the path."

"Hmm, I know."

"He's a good guy," Jake nodded behind him, to Sam.

Cassie looked beyond her late husband, watching Sam offer Meredith a drink from his water bottle, "I know."

His smile softened, turned a bit sad. "It's okay. If you want to… I just want you to be happy, Cass."

"I know."

"You do know."

"How much time do you have?"

"I can hang on for a bit longer."

"Okay," Cassie peered into the cave.

"Meredith's fine," Sam approached her. "A little dehydrated… I gave her a granola bar to up her sugars, but—" He fuzzed out of focus for a moment as she stared at the cave in front of her. "Cassie?"

"Hm? Oh, right. Good." She nodded to him. "Thank you."

"We should get back, it's still cool out."

Cassie nodded, but could not keep her gaze from the cave. It beckoned her.

xxx

Carolyn had watched as Zola and Bailey ran to their mother, watched as Sam talked to Meredith, offering her water and a snack bar, and knew she'd been here before, eons ago.

His mouth had smashed against hers, knocking her head against the tree. She fought back, pushing on his chest, yet simultaneously pulling him closer as their lips tangled. It was their first anniversary, and really, their first time alone together since Baby Kathleen had been born.

So they were making the best of it. In these woods, against this tree, where he'd once carved out their initials a few months after their engagement.

He pulled away finally, so they could breathe. But his wild and excited gaze never left hers.

"What?"

He straightened her hair, and brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. "C'mon," he said. "I have to show you something." He took her hand and pulled her away from the tree.

"Michael!" she laughed.

"C'mon!" he tugged her arm, flashing a smile. "You'll see-"

"Gracious," Carolyn said. "I can't believe I'm here again."

"Again?" Cassie asked.

But Carolyn ignored her, focused on the cave in front of them.

"We should get going," Sam said.

"There's something in there, isn't there?" Meredith asked.

"How do you know?" Carolyn asked, but the younger woman shrugged, staring at the cave just like she was.

"Everything all right?" Brandon asked.

"I need your flashlight," Cassie said.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Sam asked.

Cassie picked up the heavy police issue flashlight from her stepson and flicked it on. Cautiously, she edged forward.

There was just enough room for the three of them to move, single file, along the damp wall. "What, exactly, are we doing?" Meredith asked, even as she shuffled along behind Cassie.

"There's something in here," she swept the light up and down, side to side, searching.

"Indeed," Carolyn hummed. "I remember now. X marks the spot."

"X marks the… X as in treasure?" Meredith whispered.

"Treasure to some."

She had followed him, laughing almost to the point of tears as he led her forward and upward. He grabbed her hand, pulling her up the steep incline of a small cliff where a wide crevice had formed, driven open by the roots of a young spruce tree.

"C'mon," he stepped inside.

"In there? Mike, you can't be serious."

He turned, face deadpan. "Oh, I am very serious." But his stone-face split into a smirk. "Just come on."

"But it's slimy."

"Just come on," he encouraged. "It's not far in."

"It? What's 'it'?"

"There. I see something. Do you see it?" Something metallic stood out against the worn stone as Cassie shone the light in.

"What? I don't see anything."

"Over there, Meredith." Carolyn pointed. They'd gone less than twenty feet, and Carolyn couldn't believe that she'd forgotten about this spot. But now the memories were pushing through the dam, and it was hard to keep them from washing over her.

A warm hand clasped hers. Cassie. "Are you all right?"

"Yes," she blinked. "Let's carry on."

They came upon the object, it was as she expected. Michael's old ammo box. Small, metal, heavy, with a large latch on the front. Cassie handed her the flashlight. She dusted off the box. "Something of yours?"

"Yes, I suppose so."

They were perched on the outcropping of the cliff, a dirty opened ammo box between them. Michael dangled his legs over the edge, a goofy smile on his face as he examined the crumpled milkshake cup from their first meeting.

"You kept this?" Carolyn lifted the worn scrap of towel she'd pulled from the 'treasure chest'.

"Ah." Michael smiled. "You remember."

"The three legged race at the church picnic."

"Yes."

"You looked good that day, I recall."

A spark lit in his eye. "Did I?"

She smoothed the musty fabric over her thigh. "But why this?"

"That day… I finally realized what I was feeling. What I wanted to feel. That day I loved you." He covered her hand with his. "And I've never stopped. We're tied together forever now, and I'll never stop loving you, Carolyn."

"Carolyn?"

"Mm?" the light of her daydream faded to darkness. She blinked and sucked in musty air as she looked around. Oh, right.

"Pass the light to Meredith. I need a little help here."

Without another word, she handed the flashlight over and reached to help Cassie.

"What is it? Did you find something?" Meredith asked.

"Treasure," Cassie replied. She pulled in time with Carolyn, but the box didn't budge from its spot wedged in the rock.

Carolyn stepped forward, peering through the light. There was room behind the box. "Cassie, hold on to the handle. I'm going to reach in here. On three, I push, you pull."

She stretched her arm over Cassie's, feeling for the end of the box. When her fingers curled over the edge, she counted. "One, two-" She pushed. Cassie pulled. The box budged a little. "One, two-" Metal groaned as she pushed again and the stone's grip loosened. Before she could push again, Cassie gave a final yank, pulling it free.

Thunk!

"Whew!" Cassie said. "Wow."

But Carolyn barely heard her. "There's another box."

The little green plastic box had seen better days, covered in moisture and dirt. When Carolyn grabbed it, she expected a fight, but it fell easily into her arms, as if it wanted to be free.

What was this? Michael had two boxes? She thumbed the latch to open it, but she stopped when she saw the name taped on top, D.C. Shepherd, her son's familiar scrawl.

"What is it?" Meredith stepped in closer to see over her shoulder.

"It's… It's for you."

xxx

Holding that box, seeing Derek's name– It was like a wave struck her. She splayed her fingers across the top as if it would keep the wave from dragging her into the ocean again.

"Meredith?"

"Hm?"

"Come on, let's get back out into the light." Carolyn gently slipped ahead and pulled on her free hand. Cassie followed behind them, carrying the heavier ammo box.

Out in the sunlight, Meredith stopped just short of the edge of the cliff. Bailey's shrieks of laughter from below jolted her back to the present where she watched him run circles around George and Brandon.

She stared back at the box. Did she really want to open it? Should she? Would it even do any good?

"Meredith?" Cassie asked.

"I… I um, I need to sit down," she said. Cassie held out a hand to help her balance as she crouched, then sat, Indian style on the cliff edge.

"Are you going to open it?" Cassie asked.

She was supposed to, right? Wasn't that the point of all this? Visions of Derek, the magic of this place, the strange feeling of deja vu? All leading up to a cave and a secret treasure and-

"Meredith…"

"He never told me about the box. About this place, his time here. I've known him for years, and never once did he tell me. Not even in passing, not even a- 'yeah, there's this great B&B in the middle of nowhere-' Not one word. And you know what that reminds me of? The last time." She glared pointedly at Carolyn, "When he forgot to tell me about his wife. So excuse me if I'm a little hesitant to open Pandora's box here."

What if she wasn't meant to be here? To find this? What if this box really wasn't for her but for some leggy stylish dirty mistress? What if-

"Shh," Carolyn said. "We all have doubts. Especially when our loved ones are torn from us so suddenly. But there is one thing I have never doubted about my son, and that was his profound love for you.

"After Addison, it was just you he loved. All those struggles, all those fights, weren't because he stopped loving you, it was because he did love you. You changed him. You changed him back to the person he was before ambition got in the way, and you challenged him to stay that way. He wasn't fighting you, he was fighting himself.

"I have every reason to believe that he wanted to bring you here one day and show you, but life got in the way." Carolyn looked at her own worn metal 'treasure chest.' "If I know Derek, everything he put in there were reminders of the man he was supposed to become, and the woman he was supposed to always love and be faithful to."

It was true and she knew it. Meredith wiped the hot tears that ran down her cheeks. A hundred and ten, he said. Ride the ferry boat all day if we want, he said.

"You don't have to open the box," said Cassie. "If you think it will be too painful. We can put it back. Or I can hold on to it for you, for when you are ready. Things like this can be… overwhelming."

Overwhelming? That was an understatement. Sure, she was scared of finding secret love letters to people not named Meredith, or secret keepsakes- bits of her husband's life purposefully hidden- but that fear had drained away and was now replaced with a strange inadequacy.

She wasn't sure she was ready.

She wasn't sure she could handle ALL of his love for her, ALL at once.

Love she was scared she took for granted. And maybe hadn't returned properly.

She wiped her face again, and sniffed loudly. The tears were coming hot and fast, sniffles becoming swallows and sobs. Carolyn cast her box aside and pulled Meredith in with both arms, her cheek wet with grief as well. Cassie rubbed her back. Carolyn rocked and shushed.

Meredith couldn't move, or see, or think, until a little brown hand touched her arm. "Mommy, can we open the box? I wanna see if there's treasure!"

A/N: Thanks guys so much for reading! Please fav and follow, or leave a review! 3 3