Disclaimer: I do not own anything you may recognize
This is an idea I got for fun and it's inspired by Stand with Ward and Queen's 'The trial of Marc Guggenheim' so thank you very much to him.
And before we start, a certain asshole came after me again and I'm sure you're reading this too so this is addressed directly to you, asshole- You lecturing me to let go of my hatred of certain characters is laughable when you yourself can't let go of your obsession with me even when I've made it clear I want nothing to do with you.
And you comparing the so-called redemption arcs of those characters to that of Naruto is even more laughable. By your logic, Hitler can be redeemed too, since you said and I quote- 'Anyone can be redeemed'. Hitler comes under 'anyone' too.
Then you're accusing me of lying through my teeth, so that's your third laughable statement. I can lie sometimes, but that's in real life, on this site, I am anonymous, and I have no reason to lie. I am brutally honest on here, what I think, I say without care. Plus, if you think the behavior those characters exhibit is actually okay, then I feel bad for the people around you, since you probably behave exactly like that with them as well.
I'm thinking you actually did do that, so they cut you from their lives, and that's why you have so much time to waste on this site, according to a good friend of mine at least, and he's usually right.
And, I'm not even gonna address you by name, you're really pathetic and desperate for attention, and by naming you, I'm giving you just that, so I won't. You know who you are, and me and some of my very close friends know who you are too, and none of us are gonna name you.
I said my previous message to you was my last one, but this is the true last one, since you're too braindead to get it, and this time, I'm sending it myself instead of having my friends do it for me.
Don't bother trying to respond either, I'll delete your comment while it's still in moderation, and no one but you, me and my very close friends will know who you are, and we keep that private, so you won't get the attention you so desperately seek.
So, goodbye, asshole, in the words of Gollum- "Leave now, and never come back!"
Anyway, with that done, let's begin. Now obviously, me writing this isn't gonna make the asshole Joss Whedon face any consequences in real life (though I hope he does, and it goes beyond just being blacklisted from Hollywood) but it will make me feel a whole lot better.
Have fun.
Chapter 1- Opening statement and witnesses
Joss Whedon woke up with a groan, and last thing he remembered was Wade Wilson appearing in front of him out of nowhere and after calling him 'a sexist douche deluding himself into believing he is a true feminist', knocking him out.
And now, he was tied to a chair, and realized he was in a courtroom, in the defendant's chair, with a lawyer on the prosecution's side with glasses, and it was none other than Matt Murdock.
He then looked up to see Odin sitting on the judge's chair, Mjolnir in his hand.
"What the hell is this?" Joss asked before turning to see characters from the Buffyverse, Marvel Cinematic Universe as well as DC Extended Universe on the other side, glaring hatefully at him.
"The Court of Odin shall now begin its proceedings. The characters of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, The Avengers and Justice League Versus Joss Whedon. The charges are as follows- butchering of various characters, letting immature behavior show into his work, treating characters badly over issues with actors, having certain characters be self-inserts, making certain characters mouthpieces to impart propaganda, and creating the 'Bury Your Gays' trope", Odin boomed in a powerful voice, then slammed Mjolnir like a gavel on the table, and it didn't break since he'd used his powers to enhance the table enough to take it, and then he looked over at the prosecutor. "Matthew Murdock, you shall begin this with your statement."
"With Pleasure, Allfather", Matt said respectfully as he stood up and faced the court. "So, the Court of Odin, I ask you, what is basic decency? This man, Joss Whedon, has repeatedly denied it in all forms to his various characters and fans due to his hatred of happiness, as well as the actors playing those characters due to them not bowing to his whims. I plead with you to find this man guilty of all charges."
"You may call your first witness, Murdock", Odin ordered.
"We call Captain Steve Rogers to the stand", Matt told Odin, and then Steve Rogers, dressed in his Captain America suit from 'The Winter Soldier' stood up from where he was, next to Natasha, Bucky and Sam, and walked to the area, taking the stand.
"So, Captain Rogers, what can you tell us of your experiences under Joss Whedon as director?" Matt asked Steve, stepping up.
"I felt I was treated like, for a lack of better word, trash, mainly in the first movie", Steve started saying. "In the first Avengers film, Mr. Whedon had me act antagonistic to Tony Stark, now I was justified to some extent, since he called me 'Capsicle' right when we first met for no reason at all, and by then I'd be only two weeks out of ice, so it is disrespectful to the trauma I'd have gone through, and later he said behind my back 'Wonder if they should have left him on ice', which is another insensitive statement, but since his character started the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the fans loved him more than me. Now that is understandable, I do not want all the glory, but because of his popularity, I was made out to be the bad guy, even though I was justified in acting like that to him when you consider his statements, and also the fact that the Scepter enhanced all of our negative thoughts, his and mine included. Mr. Whedon wanted me and Tony to argue in the first half, and it ended up making me look bad even when I was not. Civil War is what made Tony's fanbase truly hate and despise me, but the seeds had been sown by Mr. Whedon himself in the first Avengers film."
Matt nodded and said. "No further questions, All-father."
"You may take your seat, Captain Rogers", Odin told him.
Steve went back as Odin asked. "Joss Whedon, how do you plead before us?"
"I needed conflict and quips!" Whedon argued, and there was uproar before Odin slammed down Mjolnir.
"Now, with all due respect, All-father, we call your firstborn, Thor Odinson to the stand", Matt said as Odin nodded, and Thor got up, in his getup from 'Infinity War', holding Stormbreaker as he came up to the stand.
"So Prince Thor, what can you tell us of your experience under Mr. Whedon?" Matt asked him.
"Out of all the directors I have been under, he treated me the worst", Thor said sadly, causing Odin to glare at Whedon sharply since Thor was his son, and Whedon looked away in terror. "Now my first two movies weren't people's favorites, but the first one still had some good things, and gave me a good character arc, and I was consistent in the second one too, my character arc made sense. However, in the first and second Avengers films, I just didn't have much to do. Which is ridiculous when you consider the villain in the first one was my own brother, my father's adopted but still loved son, Loki. All I did in the first half was stand around, then fight with Hulk, while in the second one too, I did not get much to do, asides from a vision of the future, and that was most people's least favorite part in the movie outside of the senseless relationship between Banner and Romanoff."
Natasha cringed from where she was sitting at the reminder as Thor continued. "And, he also nerfed me for the plot. I mean, I am the God of Thunder, how can Iron Man and Captain America fight me? Hulk fighting me made sense, but it was followed by me being worried about falling into a steel trap, when it should not bother me one bit. Then in the second movie, Iron Man and Captain America could battle Ultron, while I was beaten up by him. Sure, it was a more powerful version of Ultron, but I could have still given him a fight instead of distracting him till Vision gave him the blow. I mean, there is a reason I am put in match-ups against Superman of all people, who is present here too, and the two movies justified absolutely none of that. Also, in the first movie, outside of Barton, I was the Avenger with the lowest screen time, and in the second one too, outside of Vision, I was the Avenger with the lowest screen time. Many people, my actor included, were losing interest in me until Thor: Ragnarok made me beloved."
"No further questions, All-father", Matt said.
"You may take your seat, my son", Odin said with some affection in his voice as they shared a look and Thor went back.
"Joss Whedon, how do you plead?" Odin asked with a dreadful glare, making Whedon pale, since it was his own son who had been treated badly this time.
"I wanted to give less powerful characters more screen time since OP makes it boring!" Whedon defended lamely as there was booing again, but Odin stopped it with a slam of Mjolnir.
"Mr. Murdock, call the next witness", Odin ordered.
Well, this is the start. So, who else do you want to see? I think from the JL film pretty much anyone outside of maybe Arthur has reasons to come up on the stand.
Who from Buffyverse and MCU do you think should come up, with reasons? Asides from the obvious, that is.
Anyway, hope all enjoyed and see you all next time with another chapter. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!