Disclaimer: I do not own anything you may recognize
Thank you to everyone who has favorited, followed or reviewed this fic so far.
And thank you to everyone for the suggestions as well.
Agent N: Thanks for the suggestions.
The nice guest: Ummm, what? The first part of your message, I don't care about, but your dick is stuck in your ass? Why are you telling me this? What the fuck am I supposed to do with that info, other than be really weirded out? I mean, how the fuck does that even happen? And if it did, then go see a doctor, because YEEESH! Yikes! That's horrifying! I am genuinely confused at this point, and also genuinely concerned. No matter what I think of you, no one deserves to go through a situation like that. Either way, please see a doctor, then hopefully your, for a lack of better word, weird, problem can be treated and you'll be all well again.
Chapter 2- Archer and twins
"Now we call Agent Barton to the stand", Matt said as Clint Barton got up from where he was sitting next to his family, Wanda and Pietro and took his place in the stand.
"So, Agent Barton, what did you feel when you were under Mr. Whedon?" Matt asked him.
"In my second film, I had no complaints at all, because it made up for my treatment in the first one, but that's the issue, he had something to make up for", Clint pointed out to everyone there. "In the first Avengers film, which was my proper formal introduction, since I only had a cameo in the first Thor film, I spent the first half of the film being Loki's brainwashed monkey, that's it. In the second half, I did get a cool moment of revenge where I fired an explosive arrow at Loki, but that was it. Plus, the trauma I'd have gotten from the mind control, it wasn't explored much other than one scene after I was back to normal, and my line in the second film after I stopped Wanda from using her powers on me. Overall, my only complaints are related to my treatment in the first film, which the second one definitely made up for, but still, I deserved a better formal introduction, I was forgettable until the second movie arrived. Having said all that, there is a lot more stuff I would say about Mr. Whedon as a person, but that has not been asked here, so this is it."
Matt nodded and said. "No further questions, All-father."
"Do you have anything to say?" Odin asked Whedon.
"We had to focus more on some characters, and I did make up for it in the second one", Whedon said and all sighed, since he did make up for Clint's treatment in the second one, even if the introduction was horrible and pretty much unforgivable.
"You may sit down, Agent Barton", Odin assured as Clint went back immediately, sitting with his family and the Maximoff twins. "Now you may call your next witness."
"We call Wanda Maximoff to the stand", Matt said as Wanda got up and walked to the stand, taking her place on it.
"So, Miss Maximoff, what can you tell us about the time you were under Mr. Whedon?" Matt asked her.
"Well, me and my brother Pietro both have valid reasons to hate Tony Stark", Wanda told them all. "His bomb did kill our family. Now I admit he was not the one to sell the bomb, it happened under the table, but it was still his responsibility to know where his weapons went, they went to the wrong places because of his carelessness, because he did not care about his company up until the first Iron Man film, which started the MCU. Yet the movie treats me and my brother like the audience should not have any empathy for us, and we deserve to be hated and vilified. Sure, what we did was wrong, but our feelings were understandable, and we did make up for it, and face consequences too. They even had Mr. Stark say in that scene at the Salvage Yard that 'this was never my life' when the first Iron Man showed that it was, once upon a time."
Matt nodded and said. "No further questions here."
"What do you have to say in your defense?" Odin asked, since this one was particularly disturbing when considering the redemption arcs of certain Buffyverse characters like Spike, Angel, Darla, Faith, Willow and a few others.
"A movie does not have enough time to flesh out characters compared to shows", Joss said, and that was all he had.
"You may take your seat, Miss Maximoff", Odin said as Wanda nodded and walked off. "Now you may call the next witness up on the stand, Mr. Murdock."
"We call Pietro Maximoff to the stand", Matt said as Pietro stood up, sharing a hug and kiss on the cheek with Wanda while she sat down and he arrived on the stand. "So, what do you want to share here about your experience under Mr. Whedon?"
"My sister has said most of it already, the bomb that killed our parents belonged to Mr. Stark, plus we were trying to survive in a war-torn country. Also, we did not join Hydra on purpose, it was Hydra posing as SHIELD, the tie-in comics confirm it", Pietro started rambling. "And even then, my sister was reluctant to join, she was skeptic. I convinced her to."
"That all is fine, but I believe we are going a bit off-track here", Matt said gently and Pietro realized that was right.
"Even I didn't see that coming", Pietro quipped before saying. "Anyway, my character got killed off in my first outing. Now as bad as it was, I can understand why that was done, since there was a rights issue with Fox, and their version of me was much better and more memorable. Problem is, how it was done. How can a speedster be killed by bullets? We catch bullets for breakfast, that should have been nothing."
"No further questions", Matt said.
"What is your defense?" Odin asked Whedon.
"He wasn't fast enough yet", Whedon said, as all sighed again.
"You may go back, Mr. Maximoff", Odin said as Pietro went back to his seat. "You may call your next witness, Mr. Murdock."
In this one I went easier on Joss compared to before, but that's because as horrible as what was done to Clint in the first film was, I feel it was genuinely made up for in the second film, and with Pietro too, I understand why he was killed off, just hated the way it was done.
But all these characters so far are for warm-up, the real ones come next chapter onwards. In MCU, the worst he has treated is pretty much Natasha, but even that's almost nothing compared to how he has treated various characters in Buffyverse and DCEU, which we will see soon.
Also, if any of you want to be writers of articles anytime in the near future, my only advice- Don't be like Christina Warmbrunn.
Basically, she called LOTR racist in an article she wrote a few months ago, and said its racist because Orcs are apparently black.
Its hilarious that while calling out apparent racism, she's calling Orcs, some of the most evil creatures in all of fiction, black.
And the fact that she sees herself represented in these Orcs says a lot more about her than it does about fans of a "racist work". She is a mixed race woman.
YouTuber 'Just Some Guy' called the idiot out and ripped her apart, and she actually tried to get his video taken down on claims of privacy violations when all he did was use her name and picture which she had herself put below the article on the Internet for the whole world to see, and also shared the link and picture on various social media sites.
What a stupid moron. Plus, 'Just Some Guy' is black himself so that makes the whole thing even more awesome.
Idiots like these make me wonder if Thanos and Jasmine (from Angel Season 4) were onto something.
Morgoth was actually trying to save us from shit like Christina Warmbrunn when he began his conquest of darkness. Sure, the world would be dark and depressing, but it'd be a better alternative to this stupidity, which is what he was trying to protect us from.
And, just saying, I'm Indian and when I see LOTR, I don't go- "Where are the Indian characters?"
Sure if there was one, it'd be cool, if they gave a logical reason for an Indian to be present in a world like that, or it'd be stupid. So if Indians do get represented, it's cool, and if they don't, it's not the end of the world, no one with half a brain cares.
Harry Potter actually gave Indians decent representation with Parvati and Padma, even though they were background characters, but their existence in that world made perfect sense (even if their wardrobe for the Yule Ball in the 4th movie was atrocious) to me.
Basically, if there is sensible representation of Indians, cool, if there is no representation, I don't give two fucks. I mean, when British people or Americans watch Slumdog Millionaire (a British made film set in India about Indian people) they don't expect to see themselves represented, do they?
Or if you watch a film set in, let's say, a tribal portion of Africa, you're not gonna ask- "Where the fuck are the white Americans?" Right? LOL!
Also, calling LOTR racist gets even more hysterical when you realize a main portion of the plot is about various races coming together to battle threats. Sure, the races aren't Americans, Indians, other Asians, Africans, Irish, English people, etc. but fictional ones that are Men, Elves, Dwarves and Hobbits.
Still, that is the literal plot there, and races not being united is seen as a bad thing, like the enmity between Elves and Dwarves is clearly supposed to be seen as bad, and Legolas and Gimli both start bigoted against each other due to race alone, but eventually become brothers-in-arms, and learn to love and respect each other's races, its a historic act of rapprochement between races.
And outside of Gimli's friendship with Legolas, he is also smitten by Lady Galadriel, and he tells her she is the fairest thing he has seen, and he will not call anything fairer, unless it be her gift to him, and he wanted a strand of her hair as an heirloom for his house, she gave him three generously, which he later set in an impregnable crystal.
What's noteworthy is in the First Age a great Noldorin Elf called Fëanor who created the 3 Silmarils, asked her for the same in the First Age, and like I said, he was a great Elf, real badass too, but he was also selfish and proud, and Galadriel knew it so she refused him that, while Gimli got it because he asked out of genuine lovely intentions.
Plus, the movies don't show this, but in the books, when they first encounter Eomer and his Rohirrim, they are suspicious, like in the films, and Gimli mentions the White Lady of the Wood, adding they bear gifts from her, but due to the rumors about her (which Gimli himself is shown to believe in the first film before meeting her), Eomer sort of insults her, calls her a witch, and says Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli might be under her spell, to which Gimli gets enraged and defends her honor and grace before Legolas, an actual Elf can.
Point being, its a beautiful story written with a lot of depth to it, multiple layers, relevant themes (and by relevant I mean they're as relevant today as they were when the books were first written) and the movie adaptations capture a lot of it themselves, and so I miss the days when we debated about whether Balrogs had actual workable wings or not instead of defending this great masterpiece from idiots like this who try to term it as "racist".
But then again, idiots like Christina Warmbrunn are the same people who see Cruella's mom being DROP-KICKED off a cliff by Dalmatians and go- "Whoa! What a compelling origin story for a woman who wants to skin puppies for a fur coat!"
Anyway, hope all enjoyed and see you all next time with another chapter. Stay safe from the coronavirus ya all!