As the end of October was approaching, Meredith and her sisters were working on Halloween costumes for the kids. Zola wanted to be a doctor, Bailey a superhero and Ellis wanted to be a fairy.
On the Friday night before Halloween, Meredith was doing some last minute fixes on the costume while Scarlett was on the couch watching tv. Meredith noticed how quiet the girl was lately but didn't want to bring it up and put her on the spot. They weren't that close and haven't really talked just one on one.
Amelia got home by nine that night and Meredith was still up in the kitchen.
"Hey, how did the costumes turn out?" Amelia asked.
"Good, they're all ready for tomorrow," Meredith answered and then asked,
"Do you know if Scarlett has any Halloween plans with friends or if she's coming trick or treating with us?"
"Not sure. I assume she has plans with friends though," Amelia said as she opened the fridge looking for something to eat.
"What friends exactly?" Meredith asked carefully.
Amelia shut the door.
"I don't know. Friends from school," Amelia told her.
Meredith made a face.
"What?" Amelia asked.
Meredith sighed and then said,
"Most teenagers hang out with their friends on a Friday night. Yours is passed out in front of the tv right now and it's not even ten yet."
"What's your point?" Amelia asked with a confused look.
"My point is I don't think Scarlett has friends. I think you should talk to her and see what's up because she's been pretty mellow lately," Meredith pointed out.
"She's a mellow kid. She's just been busy with school and work. She's tired," Amelia said with a casual look as she peered in the living room.
"Just talk to her, Amelia. Make sure everything's okay," Meredith advised and then walked out of the kitchen and headed up the stairs.
Amelia thought for a second and then walked to the living room toward her daughter who was sleeping on the couch. Even while sleeping, Scarlett's brow was furrowed. It seemed she never relaxed or was at peace.
"Hey," Amelia said quietly and shook her softly. Scarlett's eyes opened and she sat up.
"What time is it?" the teen asked.
"Almost 9:30," Amelia told her.
Scarlett sighed and said,
"I'm going to head up to bed."
Then she stood up. Amelia did the same and asked,
"Is there anything you want to talk about or tell me?"
Scarlett rolled her eyes.
"Jesus, Amelia. I didn't do any drugs today if that's what you're asking. Can you just chill out for once and trust me. Goodnight," she said with a sigh as she walked away.
Amelia didn't know what to say.
Scarlett isn't usually that snappy with her.
The whole next day flew by and soon enough it was time to go trick or treating. Amelia, Maggie and Meredith were by the door getting the kids ready to go out. Scarlett slowly walked down the stairs in sweats and said,
"I think I'm just going to stay home."
"What? No, cmon. It's Halloween," Amelia said with a smile.
"Do I have to?" the teen asked. It was clear she didn't want to.
"Well, what else are you going to do?" Amelia asked.
"Sleep," Scarlett said in a mellow tone.
"Sleep is for the weak, go get dressed. You're not staying here alone," Amelia told her and then looked back down at Ellis who she was helping tie her shoes.
Scarlett rolled her eyes and just walked down the stairs past Amelia and muttered,
"I am dressed."
While they were walking around, Scarlett caught a glimpse of Alexa and Kayla together. They were hanging out with some other kids from school as well. Scarlett made eye contact with Alexa for a second, but the latter chose not to acknowledge it. Scarlett instantly felt like crap and hated that she was spending Halloween walking around going trick or treating with kids. The previous year she spent it in a cemetery tripping on acid with some close friends, so this was a bit different.
"I think I'm going to head home," Scarlett said and stopped walking. The three adults turned around and Meredith followed Scarlett's gaze which led her to the group of teens walking together toward them.
"Were almost done, and then we can head back," Amelia said.
"I don't feel good," Scarlett lied.
"I'll walk her back," Meredith offered and then added,
"There's only a few more houses left anyways and I should get the snacks ready at home."
Amelia nodded and said,
"Okay, well see you back at the house."
She could tell something was up with Scarlett.
On their walk back, Meredith asked,
"Is everything okay? I saw you staring at that group of kids your age. Did something happen with one of them?"
"I don't know what you're talking about," Scarlett lied and continued to walk.
"Scarlett," Meredith said softly.
"Fine. The blonde one, Alexa was my best friend from home. She didn't tell me she moved her early and she basically replaced me with Kayla," Scarlett admitted.
"Ohhh I see. How does that make you feel?" Meredith tried.
"Like crap. I don't know what I did wrong that made her treat me like this. We were really close before I moved and now she makes up excuses so she doesn't have to hang out with me," Scarlett said truthfully.
"I'm sorry. You definitely don't deserve this. Does Amelia know what's going on with Alexa?" Meredith wanted to know.
Scarlett shook her head as she said,
"No. She wouldn't care anyways. All she cares about is whether I'm high or not. She doesn't care about me."
"That's not true. She cares about you so much and she just wants to make sure you stay clean and have a good life ahead of you," Meredith said in her sister's defense.
"It doesn't feel like that. My other mom, Kelly always asked me about school and about my friends and Amelia only asks me if I did drugs that day. Sometimes I wish I was still with my other parents," Scarlett muttered that last part and Meredith realized how the girl was truly feeling.
"You miss your parents?" Meredith asked.
"Everyday," Scarlett replied.
"It doesn't feel the same without them. Right now I just feel like I'm surviving everyday and not really living or enjoying life," the girl added with a light laugh at the end so it didn't sound too dark.
"Scarlett, do you think maybe you should talk to someone about this?" Meredith asked.
"What? Like a therapist?" Scarlett asked with a raised eye brow.
"Yeah," Meredith told her.
"I don't need a shrink. I just miss my dead parents and lost my best friend since childhood. I'm doing great," the girl said sarcastically with a smile.
"I'm serious Scarlett. I think you should talk to someone about this and how you're feeling so it doesn't spiral into depression or you using again."
"I'm talking to you," Scarlett said to her in a small voice.
Meredith just gave her a look.
"How do you know when you're depressed?" Scarlett asked seriously.
Meredith continued to walk but turned to the girl who now looked genuinely sad and said to her,
"Depression is feeling like you have a storm cloud over your head constantly. It feel like no mater what you do you can't get away from it. Sometimes there's a reason for depression and sometimes it just happens. Depression usually comes with a loss of interest in things that you once found joy in. It can also come with sleeping problems or feelings of hopelessness. In extreme cases people with depression hurt themselves."
Meredith looked over at the girl who had tears in her eyes. Scarlett quickly wiped them away and said,
"I want my mom."
"We'll see Amelia back at the house."
"No, my other mom," Scarlett said and her voice cracked.
"Come here."
Meredith stopped walking and pulled Scarlett into a hug. Scarlett let her and when she did, she let it all out. All her feelings of loss just hit her at once and she didn't know why she was feeling like this all of a sudden. Something about Meredith was so motherly and Scarlett yearned for this kind of hug.
Meredith held her close and kept rubbing he back as the girl cried.
"It's okay. You're going to be okay," Meredith assured her.
Scarlett finally calmed down a bit and let go of Meredith.
"I hate feeling like this," Scarlett told her.
"What are you feeling?" Meredith asked.
"Like nothing is ever going to get better. I feel like I can't catch a break and that bad things just keep happening to me. I just want everything to go back to how they were when I was ten years old before anyone died and before I did drugs," Scarlett explained.
"I know and I'm sorry. But trust me, life gets better. Just give it some time and it will," Meredith told her with a smile.
Scarlett sniffled and then started walking again and said,
"Thank you. For talking to me and actually asking me normal mom questions."
"Anyone. I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk. Amelia and Maggie too. We all love you and just want you to be happy," Meredith said.
"But I do think you should talk to Amelia and maybe start seeing a therapist if you're up to it. I used to see a therapist. A few actually and they helped me through my darkest times," Meredith added.
Scarlett just nodded and said,
"Can I think about it?"
"Of course," the old one replied.
Soon enough they reached the house.
"Do you need help with the snacks or anything?" Scarlett asked as they walked in.
"Yeah could you cut up some apples. I'm trying to do a healthy snack so it balances out with all the candy they have now," Meredith explained. Scarlett nodded and got to it.
When the other group arrived home, they ate snacks and traded candy.
"Scarlett do you want any candy?" Zola asked. Scarlett smiled and said,
"No thank you, but it was very sweet of you to offer."
While the kids were in the living room, Amelia walked over to Meredith and asked,
"Did Scarlett say anything to you?"
"What do you mean?" Meredith asked, playing dumb.
"It's just...on our walk back, Zola asked if Scarlett was okay. She said she hears Scarlett crying at night sometimes. I just couldn't help but wonder-"
"Amelia," Meredith stopped her.
"I think you should talk to her and not focus the whole conversation on whether she did drugs that day or not. Just be her mom and not her sponsor for one conversation, you'd be surprised with how much she's willing to share."
Amelia nodded and glance in the living room to see her daughter smiling and sitting with her youngest cousin.
Once the kids were in bed, Scarlett was helping clean the kitchen with Meredith when the older noticed Amelia and said,
"I'm going to go check on the kids," leaving the two alone.
"Hey," Amelia said casually as she approached her daughter.
Scarlett looked up and over at her.
"How's school going?" Amelia asked.
"Fine," Scarlett said back with no emotion.
"And work?"
"Work's good," Scarlett told her.
Amelia nodded and then sat down at the kitchen table and said,
"Come take a seat."
"Listen, I'm kinda tired and just want to go to bed-"
"Sit," Amelia said a little more forcefully.
Scarlett sat down next to her mom but avoided eye contact.
"Is something going on with you that I should know about?" Amelia asked which was definitely the wrong way to phrase her question.
"Are you kidding me?" Scarlett snapped at her and her eyes went cold.
"What?" Amelia asked.
"Why are you always accusing me of being on drugs?! God, can't you just be a normal mom for once? I'm sick of this," Scarlett said and got up. She grabbed her coat and headed for the door.
"Scarlett!" Amelia called as the girl walked out the door.
"I'm not talking about just drugs. I'm talking about every thing in general. Why do you get so defensive whenever I ask you how you are?" the woman asked.
"Because I know what you think of me," Scarlett turned around and told her in a hurt voice.
"What do you mean?" Amelia wanted to know.
"You don't trust me. All you seem to worry about is whether I'm using again and I'm not, I swear! I think about it everyday but I constantly hear your nagging voice in my head so I don't. You never ask me about anything else?" Scarlett pointed out.
"Okay, I'm sorry. I don't just care about whether you're using. I care about how you're doing and Scar you've been acting differently lately. I'm just worried," Amelia told her honestly.
Scarlett just stared at her.
"Zola told me that you cry yourself to sleep most nights. Why haven't we talked about that?" Amelia asked. Scarlett felt tears in her eyes and her stomach twisted in a knot.
"I miss my parents, okay? I didn't want to tell you and make you feel bad," Scarlett told her and felt a tear escape from her eye. Amelia walked over to Scarlett and put her arms around her as she said,
"I'm sorry you felt like you couldn't talk to me about this. I'm here for you. Whatever you need to talk about, I'm here to listen. It won't make me feel bad. It's okay to miss the people who raised you you're whole life. It's okay," she assured her daughter once more. Scarlett hugged her back and said,
"Thank you."
Once they pulled apart, Amelia said,
"If you ever want to start seeing a therapist again I can arrange that. I can even get Dr. Turner if you want it to be her. You can do it over FaceTime or over the phone. Whatever you need, just let me know and I will try my best to help you."
Scarlett nodded and said,
"I think I want to start seeing Dr. Turner again."
Amelia nodded and said,
"I will call her first thing tomorrow morning."
Then she threw her arm around her daughter and walked her back inside. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off her shoulders.