(An Offscreen Response)
In the aftermath of Pain's invasion, things were actually rather calm now… but that was about to come to an abrupt end.
At the moment, Kakashi sat on a stump in the nearby forest reading one of his Make Out series books, though he let out a rather melancholy sigh as he did so 'With Master Jiraiya gone, it looks like this masterpiece of a series has come to an end… unless someone who happens to be his biggest fan takes it up to honor his memory. Kakashi Hatake, author. Yep, I think that has a nice ring to it-'
"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" this was when Naruto burst into the clearing, panting heavily and looking considerably freaked out "Sensei!"
"Not now Naruto, I'm in the middle of reading and planning my future."
"Hinata told me that she loves me!"
"WHAT?!" Kakashi ended up being so freaked out by this, he chucked his book at Naruto and sent him crashing to the ground, to which he quickly rushed over to Naruto and frantically yanked him to his feet and gripped him by the shoulders "Did you just say that Hinata told you she loves you?!"
"Yeah, when she came to help me during the fight with Pain!"
"Oh no no no no no no no! Earth Style: Mud Wall!" now incredibly freaked out, Kakashi didn't hesitate in summoning a series of earth walls around the entire clearing "No no no no, no no no no no no no! Okay, now you tell me! Tell me exactly how you responded when Hinata told you that she loves you."
"I-I didn't know what to say and I didn't have any time to react, she just charged at Pain and got stabbed and then I got so angry the Nine Tails went on a rampage! Then I met my dad and I beat Pain and met the real him and I think his girlfriend, he brought everyone back and died, I made that memorial for Pervy Sage and you brought me back and everyone called me a hero, then they started tossing me into the air and I got pretty nauseous so I went to go throw up in a bush, then I realized what Hinata said and freaked out, and then I came to find you!"
"Naruto, when a girl tells you that she loves you, then that's the time you're supposed to cut and run."
"What do you mean?"
"Well normally it means you'd have to break up with her, but since you and her were never really together to begin with, that just means you can never see her again."
"Wait what? But I don't wanna-" Naruto was promptly cut off by Kakashi slapping a hand over his mouth.
"Now there are a few different ways that you can do this, though each of them have drawbacks in one way or another."
"But what if-"
"Now you could fake your own death, now that's the cleanest way but it would probably freak everyone else out, though it might get the rest of the Akatsuki off our backs, at least for the next few years or so, though you might have to move to some remote village, change your name and hide your face."
"Kakashi-sensei would you just-"
"You could become a woman but that involves all of that surgery, though you probably could cut that out if you use your Sexy Jutsu, but then you'd still have to-"
"Sensei!"
"Yeah?"
"What if… What if I love her back?"
Kakashi stared blankly at Naruto for a moment, and then promptly slapped him hard across the face, earning a loud yelp of pain.
"OW! Why the heck did you slap me?!"
"Because you're talking like a crazy person."
"I mean… I might love her."
Kakashi promptly slapped him again, this time on the other cheek, but then he suddenly let out a chuckle "Hey check it out, your cheeks make different sounds when they're slapped."
"What?"
"Yeah take a look, it sounds like they're a semi-tone apart." he started slapping Naruto on both cheeks a few times.
"Will you stop slappnig me?! I get enough of that from Sakura as it is!" Naruto quickly ran out of patience with the antics, then let out a sigh "So what do I do?"
"Well that depends, do you seriously think you might be in love with Hinata? And I'm not just asking because Guy would owe me so much money if you do."
"I don't know, I mean maybe. I gotta think this through." Naruto turned to leave, but then he stopped and spared a quick glance back at Kakashi "Oh, and you know what else?"
"What?" Kakashi was met with a smack to the face that sent him crashing to the ground, which left him to rub his cheek as he picked himself up "I didn't think you were the type to smack someone upside the head out of payback."
"Usually I'm not, but that's also because I never got you back for using the Thousand Years of Death on me." and on that note, Naruto turned on his heel and left.
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Another day came, and the moment of truth is at hand.
"So that's about how things stand now." Kurenai sat with Hinata outside one of the tents, talking about recent developments, mainly regarding her swollen stomach "Since there's no way I'll be able to serve as captian anymore for reasons that are pretty much obvious, team 8 has officially been disbanded. All of you have been scattered on separate missions, and I really do feel pretty bad about that. Do you forgive me?"
"Of course I do." Hinata gave a small smile.
"Thank you for that. Honestly, sometimes it feels like it's so much easier to be able to talk to another woman. I doubt it would be anywhere near as smooth as with Shino and Kiba."
"Is it really?"
"Of course it is."
"I'm glad to hear that." but then Hinata looked ahead and she froze in a mix of shock and pure unholy terror "Oh… Naruto."
Sure enough, Naruto was making his way over to the two of them, and he seemed just as nervous as Hinata, perhaps even moreso "Um… hey Hinata, Kurenai-sensei."
"Well if it isn't the village hero." Kurenai gave a wry smile "Well I've got something to take care of, so I'll be leaving the two of you alone to talk." and so she promptly stood up and took her leave of the scene.
"So… hey."
"Hi." Hinata had to force herself not to faint, though her face began turning red "Is something wrong?"
"Kinda I guess… about the whole thing during the fight with Pain. First I… I wanted to thank you for that. If it wasn't for you, then I probably wouldn't have made it out of that."
"Oh… it was nothing really…" she started blushing even further "I just… I couldn't stand aside and do nothing while you were hurting…"
"Yeah, that was pretty awesome the way you stood up to Pain, but then you said… the thing I guess."
Hinata let out a quiet squeak of terror.
"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean you blow you off or anything, but when you said… the thing to me, it kind of caught me off guard. But do you really?"
"Honestly… yes I do, I have for a long time. I just wish I could have been there by your side more as we grew up. I wanted to stand by you so much more, because you were what pushed me to become stronger all this time."
"Hinata… I'm sorry I didn't see it before. I know you must want me to say it back, but I don't think I can." he panicked when he saw the downcast look on her face "I mean it's just that, I never said it to a girl before, and I don't think I should say it unless I know I mean it."
"I understand. I didn't mean to pressure you or place a burden on you."
"You didn't or anything, this is totally on me." he let out a sigh "I care about you Hinata, I mean I really do a lot, but…"
"But… you don't feel the same way?"
"I didn't say that. I mean Sakura was the only girl I've ever really been into, but she's still totally in love with Sasuke, and most of the time she just hits me for being stupid, so… the truth is, I'm not really sure what love feels like, not that kind of love anyway. I mean I love ramen, but I see that more as a way of life, and I'm still trying to get people to make a national holiday for ramen."
"I know, Kiba bought 7 of those t-shirts you made."
"That was him?"
"He got one for Akamaru too."
"Huh. I gotta thank him for that later. Anyway… I have no idea what I'm saying."
"I think I do. After what I said… what I said… I felt kind of strange about it too, but at the same time I felt kind of liberated to have gottan it off my chest. But if you're unsure about it, then I guess maybe… maybe I rushed it. I never thought about anyone else the way I do about you, but if you don't have any experience with that, then maybe we can't know about it for certain. But there are other things to consider, like how the Akatsuki are still out there. Maybe we should… wait until they're gone, and then see where things take us?"
"So what do you think about this?"
"Maybe we should… wait a little while, to figure things out."
"...Yeah, okay. But that doesn't mean we can't talk or train or hang out right?"
"Of course. I want to be there for you when you need me, if you'll have me."
"You bet I do!" Naruto gave his classic grin as he pulled Hinata into a tight hug, earning a loud eep from her, and then he quickly pulled away from her, gave a simple waveand quickly walked away from the scene "Well… that could've gone worse."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that." Kakashi suddenly popped up next to him, Make Out series book in hand.
"What do you mean?"
"She's probably gonna try and kill you in your sleep for that."
A/N:
As the name pretty much implies, this is what I interpret to be Naruto's initial response to Hinata's confession to him during the battle against Pain. I got the idea while I was watching an episode of Drake & Josh, the episode Mindy Loves Josh from season 4 to be specific. If either Naruto or Kakashi seem out of character, keep in mind that this is supposed to be a parody and isn't meant to be taken seriously. But at the same time, it is my response to a pretty common complaint that I've heard throughout the Naruto fanbase: Why did Naruto pretty much ignore Hinata after this and through most of the war and not get together with her until The Last? I get why people are upset about that, but I think the logic from that Drake & Josh episode does apply here, to Naruto at least.