Pardoned Chapter 5: MESSAGE: SENT, an inuyasha fanfic

THERE ARE DEPICTIONS OF DRUG USE WITHIN THIS CHAPTER. CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED.

Spring of 2013

No-Doz gum, all-nighter cooling sheets, canned energy drinks …

Moroha zoned in on the brightly colored snack packaging on her computer desk, popping another piece of gum into her mouth while slowly grinding the flat piece of candy into a rounder shape. It had been the umpteenth one she had chewed on tonight, and she idly rolled the ball of candy back and forth inside her mouth with her tongue hoping that it would help her stay awake. Yet, regardless of whatever effort she took, Moroha felt like she was going to fall asleep on top of her notes at a moment's notice. The practice equations in the exam guidebook were all bleeding together into a jumbled mess of numbers, contrasting the empty sheet of paper beside it where she had wrote nothing down. She sighed through her nose as she observed the top of her hand, which sported several deep, red indented wounds. She had stabbed herself with a mechanical pencil to jolt herself out of an impending slumber several times, but despite that drastic measure she still found herself nodding off to dreamland once the pain wore off.

Screw it, I give up. I'll study tomorrow.

She just wasn't going to win, no matter what she tried. Moroha stood up from her computer chair, walking over to the bed while casually stretching her cramped limbs. Letting out a loud yawn and closing her eyes she unceremoniously fell backward onto her bed, a noise of relief escaping her throat as her back hit the plush blanket.

She had no idea how many times she had told herself that 'she would do it tomorrow' to no avail. Before she knew it the exam period had snuck up on her like a predator does their prey. Moroha remained grossly unprepared. The exam period would start in two days, and there was no denying that she wasn't looking forward to it. Moroha always did badly on her midterms and exams regardless of whether she took the initiative to study or not. She wasn't sure if she was a bad test taker, had a severe lack of willpower, or if she just simply did not care anymore.

She had gotten into high school just by the skin of her teeth, and only put forth the effort to please Kagome and keep Inuyasha off her back. Once she had received her offer of admission she quickly fell back into her old habits, losing all interest in school just as she had done before.

And ever since the incident with the computer things between her and her father had never been quite the same. Before then, she couldn't remember him ever really minding her school life all that much. Nowadays he adamantly looked over her shoulder and nagged her about doing well in her studies, or just about anything her mother was already on her case about. Moroha knew deep down it was because he did care, but she couldn't help but roll her eyes at the thought of it. Moroha profoundly felt the shift in their relationship, and she was not sure how to turn it around for the better.

The incident with the computer had happened ages ago — shouldn't he have gotten over it by now? Shouldn't he just trust her?

Moroha brought up her arm over her face, draping it across her closed eyelids. I thought high school was supposed to be fun? I thought I was supposed to be enjoying myself? This was supposed to be the best time of my life, but… I wish I never went. I should have told Mama and Oyaji to go to hell.

Last semester hadn't been easy, academically or socially, and this term hadn't felt like much of an improvement either. With Hisui having graduated last April, Moroha walked through the school gates towards her second year truly on her own for the first time since starting secondary school. She would have been lying to herself if she said it wasn't hard on her. Lunch periods that were previously spent joshing around with her lifelong friend, as well as his friends from his class who sometimes tagged along, had turned into time spent staring out the window towards the courtyard as she picked at her food. Reveling in her loneliness, which nearly ate her alive some days.

After a week or two of this routine, some of the other students noticed, and they had invited her to come to sit with them for lunch. No one from her previous school attended this high school, and it wasn't until she was alone this year that Moroha realized that she had put almost no effort into making friends within her class. She figured this would be the perfect opportunity to finally get to know some people. She gladly accepted, and it had been going swimmingly well for a few weeks. Moroha even began to believe that she fit in well with the group and had finally found her place. They all played the same games, all enjoyed the same television shows, all had the same interests …

Or, at least, that was what she thought.

"You're not really one of us, though," Roku told her nonchalantly one day, leaning back so far in his school chair that it was almost at the point of tipping over. His tone indicated that he was joking, but there was an underlying essence of cruelty behind his voice. "We're hanyou, and you're shihanyou. There's a huge difference."

"Yeah!" Dai agreed a little too enthusiastically, running a hand through his bright orange locks as a wicked smirk crossed his features. "I mean, 'shi' is in the name after all. Your entire being is just bad luck, Taisho-chan! Who knows if you'll spread it to all of us?"

Moroha looked between them both, in complete disbelief. They may as well have kicked her in the stomach instead, considering that it would have felt the same way. "You're kidding, right? You can't be serious."

"I don't know, you tell us!" Roku exclaimed as both brothers glanced at each either out of the corner of their eyes, exchanging a fiendishly delighted look before returning their attention back to Moroha. Dai snickered to himself while Roku continued expressing their sentiment. "Maybe that's why your grades are so bad, Taisho-chan? You always complain about having a hard time studying. I wonder if things in the future will get any worse for you? You know, considering you've been cursed from the get-go—"

"That's enough!" Asagi snapped at them both, the sound of her palms slamming down against the desk making Dai, Roku, and everyone else sitting at the table jump in their seats. The class president's outburst had effectively snapped everyone into silence, and the twins now wore wary expressions.

"We were just teasing. Geez!"

"It's not funny. It's not funny at all!" The blue-haired girl vehemently shook her head, turning to Moroha with concern in her eyes. "Don't listen to them, Taisho-chan. They always take their jokes too far because they're both morons."

"Hey! We aren't morons!"

"What the hell, Asagi?! Why I oughta—"

The conversation immediately turned into squabbling. Everyone was yelling over one another trying to get their piece in, whether it be in agreement with the boys or in the name of defending her. But Moroha tuned it out as she looked down towards the tiled classroom floor, her brain short-circuiting as she did her best to process what she just heard. Moroha couldn't help but brood over it as a sour taste filled her mouth.

Is that what everyone really thinks…?

Moroha had been teased and bullied by youkai and human students about it before during elementary school and middle school, but that was to be expected. Those kids just didn't understand. They didn't get what it was like, to be both human and youkai but neither at the same time. But every single person she sat with at lunch, now, was a hanyou. They should have had a profound understanding of her plight. She thought that they would be the last group of people to ridicule her over being quarter youkai. And that they, at the very least, would understand what it was like to be bullied over something that was beyond their control.

But she had been naive, embarrassingly so. She cursed herself for not having known better.

Moroha was an outcast amongst outcasts. There was no nicer way to put it. And coming to that profound conclusion — that she didn't belong there with them, either — hurt more than she could have ever dreamed of.

Moroha hadn't sat with them at lunch since, despite Roku and Dai profusely apologizing later that day and additional efforts from other students to change her mind. It had been a few weeks since that incident, but no matter how much they tried Moroha would turn them away or minimize the conversation as much as she possibly could. She hoped, sooner or later, that they would finally give up and leave her alone for good.

The sound of footsteps heading down the hallway towards her bedroom jarred Moroha out of her thoughts, and her eyes snapped open as she sprung upward into a sitting position. She could tell it was her father approaching just from the way he walked. She hadn't even heard him come into the house. As his steps drew nearer she jumped from her spot on the bed and onto the chair, nearly knocking papers and a few snacks off of the surface of her desk in the process. Moroha opened the guidebook to a random page, hoping that it would appear that she had been studying diligently this entire time.

"Oi, Morocchi! It's me," Inuyasha announced. Moroha couldn't help but smirk at the knock on the door, which wasn't much of a knock at all. It sounded more like he was kicking the door with the side of his foot. "Open the door, my hands are full."

"One second, Oyaji."

She purposely took a few seconds to get up, attempting to make it seem like she wrapping up something important, before walking over to open the door. As soon as she approached it she picked up on the delicious wafts of food on the other side and, much to her delight, opened it to see Inuyasha holding a Shikon-ya take-out bowl of ramen in one hand and something to drink in the other.

"You brought me something to eat!" Moroha exclaimed, unable to help the happy squeal that left her mouth as she eyed the items in his hand, grabbing the chopsticks and napkins that were balancing on top of the container.

"Of course I did. What, did you think I'd forget to feed you?" He followed closely behind her as she moved to clear a spot for it all on her desk. Inuyasha nodded towards the stacks of candy and products that she had been munching on throughout the evening. "This'll be better than all that junk you're eating, anyway. You need to quit eating that shit, it's bad for you."

"It's supposed to help me stay awake," she told him, moving some trinkets to the side of her desk to make way for an empty spot. Once she did, Moroha put down the utensils and napkins as her father set the bowl and drink down onto the desk. "Look at the label, it's supposed to help with studying—"

Her sentence was abruptly cut off as Inuyasha suddenly grabbed her hand. She was confused until his thumbs lightly ran themselves over the red, angry marks that she had created with the pencil earlier. Moroha winced slightly from the pain, unable to help but feel a little guilty about the concerned expression on his face. Of course, he would notice that…

"What happened?"

"Nothing," she replied simply, intending to leave it at that. But the disbelieving expression on her father's face made her waver, so she continued. "I was trying to stay awake, so—"

"—you stabbed yourself with your pencil?" He finished for her, shaking his head. "Don't do that shit, Morocchi! Wait here, I'll be right back."

Inuyasha let go of her hand and walked out of her room down the hall. As Moroha took the lid off the container — Gods, the food smelled good — she could hear him rustling around in the bathroom and, before she could take the first bite of her ramen, he was back with bandages in hand.

"Is that really necessary?" Moroha groaned, putting the chopsticks down as he grabbed her wounded hand to apply the bandages. "They'll heal in a day or so."

"Keh! You don't heal as fast as me," he responded as he focused on the task in front of him, meticulously wrapping the dressing around her palm and over her hand to keep it covered. "Next time just make some coffee or something."

She couldn't imagine loading up on caffeine being any better than using the products she already had, but Moroha decided not to bring that point up. While she watched him patch her hand up with the swathe she couldn't help but feel that it was a little excessive, especially for such small sores, but Moroha let him carry on. He would make a fuss about it either way, and it would save them both time if she just let Inuyasha do his thing.

While Moroha watched him work, she wondered if it would be better to tell him the truth. That she wasn't enjoying school, didn't like the kids, and would prefer to drop out and just work. The education wasn't compulsory anymore and there would be no major consequences if she stopped going. Maybe she could just go to school in the evenings, and hell, she'd even work at Shikon-ya as an alternative if she had to. She imagined her mother would be the most upset about it, with how much importance Kagome placed on studying and getting good grades in the first place. And if Kagome was upset, the request would be guaranteed to get under her father's skin too. But no matter what Moroha tried, she never did well. She loathed everything about it.

If she was going to approach anyone about it first, it would have to be Inuyasha. He always worried about her when she was sick, or injured — surely he would be concerned too if she told him how sad and discouraged she was feeling. Moroha had never mentioned the incident with her schoolmates telling her she didn't belong with them to him. At the time, she just didn't feel like listening to the tangent he surely would have gone on.

But surely, he was no stranger to people treating him differently because of circumstances beyond his control, right?

Moroha knew that when she did finally bring it up, she would just have to be tactful about it. She would have to figure out what to say and the right time to say it. The adverse reaction from both of her parents would be worth it, at this point. Maybe if they didn't have to worry about her grades, she'd be able to salvage a little bit of the something they all once had.

As Inuyasha worked she took a quick bite of noodles, and by the time she swallowed the food he had finished with applying the gauze. He rubbed it with both of his thumbs to make sure it was pressed firmly against her skin before finally letting go of her hand.

"I'll let you get back to studying," he said, silently watching her for a few seconds before adding, "Instead of hurting your hand with the pencil, you should use it to write something down."

She nearly choked on the second mouthful ramen as she processed his comment, startled by it. Angrily, Moroha swung around in her computer chair to fully face him, unable to help the unimpressed look plastered all over her face as she kept coughing. "What the hell? I have been studying!"

"Then why are your sheets blank?"

Moroha looked back over at her desk and realized that he was right as her eyes immediately fell onto the empty first page of the notebook. She kicked herself for having left it out, especially after all that effort to make it look as though she had been working. There wasn't a single equation or problem from the guidebook on it. Her face flushed as Moroha turned back to look at him, hoping to convince Inuyasha otherwise.

"I've been writing them on the computer!"

Her father raised an eyebrow at that, and silently, moved his hand to flick the computer mouse with his fingers. The black screen came to life with that little nudge, and she physically cringed as the computer left sleep mode. The only windows that popped up were ones for the messenger, another displaying a guide for Crucible of Kodoku, and the client needed to launch the game. There wasn't a single piece of study material showing on the computer. Not a single hint of academia was present.

Inuyasha scoffed once he realized that he caught her fibbing, and the scolding red heat of embarrassment burned even hotter under her skin. He gave Moroha a hard look before walking towards the doorframe, pausing before exiting to add, "We don't ask you to do anything around here other than to do well in school, Moroha. You better not be lying to me again … I mean it. Don't fuck this up."

As the door closed with a click, Moroha felt the shame wash up on her like waves upon the shore. She turned back around toward her desk, looking between her schoolwork, the computer, and the food. Would she ever live up to their expectations? She suddenly didn't feel like eating anymore, the pit of her stomach where her hunger once lingered was instead replaced with dread, and any notion of telling him the truth about what she really felt died a little.

Asagi can't take a hint, can she?

As soon as the bell indicating the start of lunch rang out, Asagi was promptly at her desk, and Moroha couldn't help but cringe at the sound of the chair legs dragging across the linoleum floors. It would only be a matter of minutes before the other kids would flock towards the class president and gather around her vicinity. Moroha was surprised that they hadn't gathered around already.

"I can't believe midterms are the day after tomorrow. Are you nervous about writing them too, Taisho-chan?" The blue-haired girl mused aloud, crossing her arms on the desk and leaning down to rest her head, tapping her fingers to an unknown beat without taking her eyes off of Moroha. "I keep telling myself that summer break is after all of this, at least, but still. I've barely studied!"

"Yeah, me too," Moroha mindlessly replied, not taking her eyes off of the horizon lined with skyscrapers. "It's going to suck."

Moroha always kept her responses curt and brief. She couldn't tell whether or not people were being genuine when they spoke to her anymore. Maybe it was just paranoia, but she couldn't be bothered to waste her breath on people who more than likely didn't want her around. Asagi was, by far, not the worst one of the bunch. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if Asagi was just being nice to save face and to maintain her image as an inclusive class president, or if she really was trying to pursue a friendship.

She could still feel Asagi's eyes on her face, and Moroha got the sense that she was trying to search the far corners of her brain for something to talk about. They all still tried to approach her to chat, but Asagi was the one who was the most vigilant about it. Most of the conversations reached dead ends nowadays, mainly because Moroha just wasn't willing to make small talk and couldn't be bothered to be engaged with much of anything.

"Did you get a new phone case?" Asagi suddenly asked, and Moroha's eyes snapped to Asagi's hand as she picked up her phone to admire it without permission. "It's cute! Where did you get it?"

"I don't know, my mom gave it to me a long time ago. I just never used it."

"You should ask her where she got it! I need a new one, mine is all scuffed up. Last time I took it off there were still pieces of glass from when my screen broke—"

Her sentence was suddenly interrupted when a different female hand, belonging to neither of them, plucked the phone from Asagi's grasp. It had happened so quickly that it made the both of them jump in their seats, and Asagi reached out to grab it again but wasn't fast enough. Both girls looked up at the figure as she pushed the numbers on the screen, and Asagi opened her mouth to protest but was cut off.

"Sorry. My phone is, like… dead, and I need to make a call."

"Yura-chan!" Asagi gasped, unable to hide her anger and astonishment at Yura's brazenness. She looked at Moroha quickly before glancing up at the dark-haired girl in front of them. "Give that back!"

"I'll literally be a minute," Yura assured her again, turning her back to them while waving her hand with a gesture meant to brush them both off. Asagi looked like she was going to say something before Yura started talking into the mouthpiece. "Hey, Haku-kun. It's me…"

Asagi looked back to Moroha, her eyes wide as saucers. "I-I didn't know she was going to do that, Taisho-chan. Honestly!"

Moroha shook her head and leaned back in her seat, crossing her arms and unable to hide the ever-growing irritation that was brewing now. Yura transferred to the high school at the beginning of this year and struggled to fit in right from the get-go. Almost immediately, she became one of the main topics of gossip within the class. At first, Moroha thought that maybe it was a jealousy thing amongst the girls since there was no denying that Yura was good-looking, but a lot of the boys in the class avoided her as well. She gave off the vibes that she was just… bad news, although Moroha couldn't confirm anything since she's barely spoken to Yura herself. The youkai girl barely showed up for class half of the time, anyways. But when she was here, Yura always seemed like she was off in another world, far, far away from the classroom although Moroha couldn't exactly blame her for that. She'd rather be just about anywhere else, too.

"No way! You're totally postal! … Huh? … If you spice it up too much, your eyes will pop right out of your head!"

What language is this girl even speaking? Yura had used her phone long enough, Moroha decided. She had a feeling that Yura's little chat would turn from 'just a minute' into 'a couple of hours,' if she let it continue. And what if some weirdo tried calling her phone later to try getting a hold of her? Shaking her head, Moroha couldn't hide her frustration anymore, resting her elbow on the desk and extending an open palm in Yura's direction.

"Your minute is up. Give me my phone."

Yura's face contorted into irritation at the sound of her tone, and she looked over her shoulder at Moroha with her eyebrows raised. But after what appeared to be a moment's thought, her features immediately broke into a sly smirk.

"So this is yours, huh? Sure, I'll give it back, but you'll buy some tickets to my fundraiser first…"

Now it was Moroha's turn to make a face, her brows furrowing as the youkai girl reached into her pocket to pull out a few bright pink slips of paper. She had no idea what this fundraiser was for, but Moroha certainly knew she couldn't care less. She was already up to here with Yura's antics. Moroha opened her mouth to retort, willing to escalate if push came to shove, but promptly closed it when Asagi reached into her wallet to wave a banknote in Yura's direction. Asagi looked incredibly guilty, and for a brief moment, Moroha couldn't help feeling bad for her. However, the youkai girl looked more than pleased, wasting no time taking the money.

"What a good friend you have, Taisho-chan!" Yura cooed, abruptly hanging up the call she was on. She placed the phone in Moroha's open hand and tossed an invitation at each of the girls. "Don't worry, it will definitely go to a good cause… See you."

As Yura sauntered off, her hips swaying as she did so, Moroha couldn't help but roll her eyes. Moroha made a mental note to never leave any property out on her desk again as she shoved the phone into one pocket and tossed the now crumpled slip of paper on top of her textbook. Asagi's gaze lingered as she watched their classmate walk away, and once Yura was out of hearing range Asagi turned back to face Moroha, looking just as annoyed as Moroha felt.

"Damn that Yura! I can't stand her," Asagi stated bluntly. The impact of her statement coaxed a chuckle from Moroha, but instead of laughing along Asagi lowered her voice and leaned forward so only Moroha was able to hear her. "She weirds me out, and she's definitely lying. You know, earlier in the semester she approached our group telling us she was pregnant. She told us a huge sob story about it and everything. We put together a bunch of money to help her out, but after she took the cash we never heard another word about it. Moegi-chan asked her about it and Yura didn't even remember what she was talking about!"

"Seriously?"

"Yes! Another student from Group B told me once that she bought a designer bag from her too, and it turned out to be a complete fake. Avoid her, Moroha-chan. Anyone who would lie about things like that for money must be rotten to the core," she paused for a moment to let Moroha absorb that tidbit of information before turning her attention to the slips they were given. The address to a grimy arcade in the backstreets of Akihabara was scribbled on both of them in pencil. "I wouldn't go even if she paid me…"

"Maybe I will," Moroha said, more to herself than to Asagi, resting her cheek in her palm as she contemplated the situation. The story about Yura was so absurd that Moroha couldn't deny her morbid interest. "I need a break from studying anyways."

Asagi let out a hollowed chuckle but still kept her tone quiet as she continued. "Tell me about it. You know, we're all getting together at karaoke to hang out a little later today. We'll be about a block away from there, so if you do go to Yura's thing you should meet up with us after and tell us how it goes. We all want to know what is going on with her! And we want you to hang out with us too, Moroha-chan …"

I should have known I was going to open myself up to that one, Moroha chided to herself, but the impatience she had been feeling was now replaced with curiosity.

As the bell rang and Asagi headed back to her desk, Moroha thumbed the voucher in her hand. During the lecture, she couldn't help glancing between the back of Yura's head and the address on the paper. She read and reread the information until it felt like she had looked it over a million times, unable to help but wonder about the peculiarity of the situation. She wasn't able to focus on the teacher's words, her mind turning to the dark-haired girl sitting at the front of the room instead.

Was everything they were saying about Yura true? Was she really the bad person everyone made her out to be? Or was she in the same boat as Moroha — just an outcast amongst outcasts?

As the sounds of karaoke floated through the air — hysterical laughter, atrocious out-of-tune singing, and loud, drunken chatting — Moroha sighed through her nose, looking between the fundraiser invitation and the room number in front of her.

She should have known Yura was full of shit.

"Were you supposed to be meeting someone here, miss?" The nearby attendant questioned. His eyes scanned the empty room again before glancing back in her direction. "This room isn't booked for today. Did you maybe get the date wrong…?"

"No," Moroha muttered under her breath, rolling the slip of paper into a ball within her hand before shoving both fists into her jacket. She uttered an excuse to leave under her breath, turning on her heel to head back towards the lobby before the young man could ask any other questions or try to talk her into buying the room out.

What a waste of time, Moroha thought as she went down the escalator headed downwards into the main lobby. A part of her felt grateful that there was no one there after all as her eyelids were starting to become heavy, but the relief immediately left her again when she thought about studying. Once she got home she would have to hit the books, after listening to her parents complain about her being out late in the first place, of course.

She pulled out her phone to glance at the time and frowned upon seeing the notifications on her screen. There were several that, essentially kept saying the same thing — HORAIGURL (19:09:21): are you coming to hang out taisho-chan? LMK and i'll give you the room number! 😘 — but to Moroha it sounded terribly unappealing. Going out with them would be a good excuse to dodge studying, but it was more so the who than the what that put her off.

She was not looking forward to any of it. She didn't want to go to class, she didn't want to listen to the teachers ride her ass anymore, she didn't want to interact with the students, she didn't want to write midterms or exams. It felt like she was just drifting aimlessly from one day to another, like a dandelion in the wind but with no end in sight. Only the thought of dropping out and leaving school behind her, for good, put a feeling of hope in her chest these days.

Moroha was sick and tired of the day-to-day monotony of just … nothing.

I don't look forward to anything anymore, she realized suddenly, feeling sad as the profound revelation dawned on her. Maybe tonight is the night where I'll say something to Oyaji, or even Mama if I have to. I'll finally tell them I'm just… done.

Once she reached the ground floor she intended to make a beeline for the exit, figuring that getting home sooner than later would be better for everyone in the long run. She had to put this issue to bed regardless of what her mother and father would think. But as she placed her hand on the gold-colored pull handle, her movements halted when she heard the faint sounds of EDM music and familiar laughter from the far, far end of the lobby. Moroha recognized it immediately. She glanced over at another door to her side where there was no seating and very little foot traffic.

Yura…?

Moroha pivoted towards the direction of the noise, crossing the entrance hall in long, urgent strides. She looked over her shoulder to make sure no one saw her as she entered the hallway, although she didn't know why she felt so cautious all of a sudden. The passageway was dimly lit and dirty, trash outlining the floor as the dark walls gave the impression that they would close in on anyone who dared to tread there. The overwhelming smell of trash assaulted her nose, and Moroha brought her sleeve up to her face to help ease off the stench.

As she approached the sounds of loud music, howling, and hooting, Yura's voice became more prominent and easily recognizable. Everything was at full volume when she reached the wooden door, and Moroha eyed the mold crawling up the engravings from the flooring before, tentatively, knocking.

The sounds within toned down once her knuckles tapped upon the doorway, and she heard a male voice tell everyone to 'shut up and be quiet.' Moroha waited for a few long moments, and she couldn't help but wonder if they were going to leave her standing out here waiting. Just as she was about to walk away the doorknob began to jimmy, and as she swallowed her apprehension the door opened just enough for Yura to peek through and observe her. Once she recognized who it was an expression of shock fell over her face. She glanced up and down at Moroha, unable to believe who was standing in front of her.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, 'what am I doing here?' You invited me!" Moroha grumbled, unrolling the invitation that was balled within her fist inside her pocket. "You gave me the wrong room, though. Why are you in the janitor's closet?"

"How did you even know we were down here?" Yura ignored her question, poking her head out to look down the hall towards the door that led back to the foyer. She was fidgeting and, the more Moroha observed her, acting shifty as hell. Moroha wondered if she wrote the wrong room number on the invite on purpose. "No one saw you coming in here, right?"

"I heard you," Moroha told her honestly, gesturing to her ears. "I'm part inuyoukai, my hearing is good. And the lobby's empty, so I doubt anyone saw. Why? Are we not allowed down here?"

For the second time in a row, Yura didn't acknowledge her question but her paranoia seemed to wane a little after that confirmation. Relaxing a little, she immediately jumped to the next topic. "Do you have Miss Goody-Two-Shoes with you? Or did any of those other idiots tag along?"

Idiots, huh? For some odd reason, Moroha felt relieved to hear the other girl throw the insult out there. Disliking their classmates was, at least, something they both had in common. "Nah. They invited me out, but between you and me, I can't stand them."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, I've never really liked them. I have better shit to do, anyways. 'Better shit' being 'just about anything else.'"

The tension in the youkai's shoulders finally let itself go, and Yura raised an eyebrow as she opened the door a little further and casually leaned against the doorframe. A smirk crossed her features — a trait that Moroha noticed was becoming very typical of Yura — as she continued talking. "I never took you for a loner, Taisho."

Moroha couldn't help but make a face. She wasn't a loner by choice but didn't want to say that to Yura. She barely knew this girl, after all. "Anyways, I need to go buy some stuff to stay awake and study, so —"

Moroha was suddenly interrupted by a slurring, male voice calling out from within the pitch-black room. "Oi, who is it, Yura? Close the fuckin' door so we can take the shit back out! The night's still young!"

Yura bit her lip as she looked over her shoulder towards whoever was hollering at her, and back to Moroha again. Yura studied her face with a contemplative expression, although Moroha had no idea what could possibly be going through her mind right now. She rolled her eyes a little and was about to dismiss herself, not in the mood to make small talk in the garbage chute before Yura completely caught her off guard by grabbing the cuff of her shirt with her fist. Before she knew it Yura pulled her into the room, quickly shutting the door behind them. The action briefly disoriented her but Moroha regained herself quickly as she scanned her new surroundings. Aside from an overhead light, the room was dark, but the room was much bigger than Moroha expected it to be. A stereo sat in the far corner of the room, and Moroha winced a little from how loudly the speakers were blaring. But Moroha's attention turned back to her classmate as she let go of the cuff of her shirt and, instead, put her arm around Moroha's shoulders.

"My friend from school is here to party!" Yura announced, striding towards the figures sitting on the group of couches in the middle of the room. The arm wrapped around her forced Moroha to walk alongside her. Moroha's face flushed red with embarrassment and she couldn't help but wonder why, at that moment, Yura decided that she was worthy of coming in. "Don't worry, she's totally cool."

"Sweet, is she participatin' too, or…?"

Before she could even ask what he meant, the stench of an unknown substance burning broke through the odor of garbage and hit her nose. Her inner instinct, the one that always remained hidden in the far reaches of her mind unless she was in some kind of danger, immediately told her to leave. To get the hell out as soon as possible. But she ignored it, equating it to natural nerves and social anxiety instead. Moroha couldn't remember how long it had been since she hung out with kids her age outside of school, and she didn't want to draw the ire of Yura or these unknown strangers.

As they approached, the table everyone was sitting around came into sight. When Moroha peeked over their shoulders, and could finally see what everyone was up to, she felt her stomach curl into itself with dread. Within a second she knew what the burning smell was, and the puzzle behind Yura's strange behavior all clicked into place.

Drugs. They're doing drugs.

There was a large array of things on the table — powder, pills, aluminum foils, pipes — and Moroha couldn't even tell if it was the same substance or if there was a wide variety of them. She nervously chewed on the inside of her lip as her tongue began to tingle with nervousness. Her instincts were screaming even louder now. She had to get out of here, and she had to get out of here fast.

"… I actually won't be able to stay for long, I was only going to pop in for a few minutes…" she muttered as Yura removed her arm from Moroha's shoulders. She watched Yura as she walked around the couches towards the table to pluck a baggy full of white powder from the surface. "I have to go home and study."

She heard a snicker and a comment muttered under someone else's breath but wasn't able to decipher what they said. Quite frankly, Moroha didn't really care. She mumbled a farewell under her breath, turning on her heel as she began to walk with urgency towards the door. This encounter had certainly given her the answer to her question. She needed to get the hell out of this situation. She needed to get home. She had to talk to her parents about school and studying, and possibly dropping out, and—

"You sure you don't want to try some?" Yura purred, walking back around the furniture towards where Moroha once stood. She placed a hand on her hip, shifting her weight as she continued talking. "I stayed up for three days straight studying with this stuff, you know."

Moroha's steps immediately halted, and she took a moment to process what Yura just told her. Was that true? Or was Yura just bullshitting her now? Now that Yura had her attention, Moroha turned to look at her with a doubtful expression.

"… Three days? In a row?"

"Mmhm," the youkai girl confirmed, her voice suddenly taking on an alluring tone. As though she were a salesperson selling a product they were truly passionate about. "It helps you focus and everything. The effects chill you right out, too. Lots of kids are doing it. Why would you want to keep studying the way you have been? We've got much better stuff than that nowadays."

… To focus? To stay awake?

"You wanna try a bit?" Yura asked, shaking the baggy in her hands for emphasis. "S will keep you going for days, even if you don't eat a thing. Normally I'd make you pay, but… this time, it's on me."

Moroha couldn't believe she was seriously considering this right now, especially when only minutes ago she was contemplating on telling everyone she knew to 'shove it,' and dropping out of school altogether. But her eyes danced back and forth between the drugs and Yura's face as her thoughts did the same within her head. She wasn't just interested anymore. Now, she was outright curious.

"So?" Yura flicked the baggy in her hand with her long nails. "What do you say?"

Maybe, just maybe, she could live up to their expectations. And finally, make her parents proud of her again. She imagined her mother's smiling face and how overjoyed she would be. With that stress off of Kagome, her father would finally be off her back and would stop criticizing every little thing she did. Maybe they would be able to regain a semblance of the relationship they once had, years ago … One that once laid back and relaxing, one that was no longer taut with uncomfortable tension.

She was willing to do anything to get that back, at this point. She had to get it back. She was desperate.

"… Okay," Moroha finally replied, cursing the bashful tone that had suddenly crept into her voice. "Just this once."

Moroha couldn't remember any time in her life before this previous semester where she had felt this energized. Confident. Powerful, even. The only general term to describe the feeling was 'good.' Moroha felt fucking good.

She had honestly thought Yura was going to be full of shit, and Moroha would have never put it past Yura to feed her something sketchy. At the back of her mind, Moroha wondered if she was going to keel over and finally croak from Gods-only-knew-what substance Yura had given her that night. 'Being an idiot' would end up being the cause of expiry read on Moroha's death certificate. But after the fact, as she sat on the subway train idly tapping her pencil against her notebook while she tried her best to write out a few equations, it suddenly hit her in a rush. Out of nowhere, there was a wild burst of energy followed by a tidal wave of euphoria crashing upon the shores of her consciousness, one after the other.

She couldn't deny the fact that she loved the feeling.

"This is going to kick in in about twenty or thirty minutes," Yura had explained as she leaned over the countertop, black bangs hanging in her face as she carefully poured the powder onto a thin sheet of toilet paper while Moroha carefully looked on. They both had escaped the main room and its blasting music to partake in their activities in the small, dimly lit bathroom attached. "It will last you all night and well into tomorrow."

Moroha thought it was odd that she put it into a ball of toilet paper — it was called parachuting if she recalled correctly — but the longer it lasted the better. She needed all the help she could get that night for studying. Apparently, there were many ways to partake in this particular substance. You could snort, smoke, swallow or inject it, although the idea of the latter made Moroha cringe a little.

She had expected it to make her tweak out, to make her paranoid and maybe a little bit crazy, just like the depictions of drug users in public service announcements or obscure Yakuza movies. But it was far from that. Moroha felt completely relaxed, like she could handle just about anything that could come her way. When she stepped out onto the station platform she noticed everything that was happening around her. The people, the activities going on, and even minuscule details like grimy posters on the walls or snippets of people's conversations. Her hyperfocused mind caught it all. Most days around this time she was so tired that she never absorbed anything regarding her surroundings as her eyelids fought off the threat of sleep. But not tonight. She was wide awake now, her perception of everything sharper than a razor's edge.

In no time at all, or at least what felt like no time at all, she was bouncing through the hallway leading to their apartment. She whipped her phone out to peek at the time. It was just after eleven o'clock. She hadn't meant to stay out that late, but for the first time in a long, long time, she wasn't worried about what her parents would have to say. Her newfound, albeit artificial, confidence smushed down any anxiety that could have brewed from within as she turned the handle to their abode and quietly snuck inside. The front room was dark, and the only illumination in the whole apartment came from down the hallway near the washroom and their bedrooms.

There was no point in being stealthy. As soon as the door clicked she heard the springs of the mattress in her parent's room creaking loudly as one of them got up. Moroha knew someone was coming to confront her, but she didn't mind. In fact, she didn't feel concerned at all. She recognized the footsteps as Kagome's as they drew closer and closer from down the hall. Moroha purposely kept her back to the area as she removed her shoes and set them aside in the genkan, before noticing her father's shoes were not present at all. Only her mother was home right now.

"Morocchi!" Kagome addressed her in a scolding tone as Moroha reached for a hanger to put away her coat. She sounded halfway between angry and relieved. "Do you realize what time it is?"

"Sorry Mama," Moroha enthusiastically apologized, slinging her backpack over her shoulder as she finally faced her mother. "I was out with some other students. Getting ready for the midterm exam crunch, y'know?"

Moroha was shocked at how smoothly the words came out, with no second thoughts or doubts impeding them. Normally she would be fumbling under Kagome's ire, not wanting anything to do with being on the receiving end. When sober, any excuse she could have given for being out late would have ended up botched. But she wasn't feeling any of that now. Instead, she almost found Kagome's annoyance with her amusing. Maybe even charming, in an odd way.

Besides, it wasn't technically a lie. She and Yura had definitely gotten ready for their tests together. Just not with… conventional methods.

"You should of let me know… You should have let me know as soon as possible…" Kagome continued to follow her daughter down the hall even as Moroha snuck past her swiftly to head to her desk. "Someone your age shouldn't be wandering out on the street right now. Do you know how many whackos are out there at this time of night?"

"Don't worry, I could take them," Moroha bantered back, a goofy smirk crossing her face as she amused herself with her own comeback. "Those whackos have nothing on me."

Kagome didn't find the joke nearly as funny as Moroha did. She shook her head at her daughter, and a harshness crept into Kagome's tone as she became more irritated. "I think you should get to studying, Moroha. You have a lot of work to get done."

Moroha did just that. Once she sat down at her desk and cracked her textbook and notes open, she got to work. She barely even heard her father come in from work later in the night and go to bed, she was so focused. The numbers on the sheet made perfect sense to her, they were completely in sync and, in her head, she understood their purpose and why the numbers belonged where they did. It felt less like she was doing math homework and more like she was solving a puzzle. At one point in the night, she realized she was actually having fun with it. She didn't touch any of the products she bought over the previous days, nor did she have to make any coffee to drink. She was completely engrossed, and nothing was able to break her momentum.

"Factor the equation to get x²(x - 2) + 25(x - 2) = (x - 2)(x² + 25) = 0…" She whispered to herself, voicing the practice question out loud to help herself work it out on the paper. "… Multiplication property of zero determines that x - 2 = 0 and x = 2. Take the square root of each side, and—"

"Oi, Morocchi!"

Despite her father's voice cutting through her concentration Moroha kept her eyes on the paper, remaining preoccupied with what she was doing. Normally she would have gotten irritated with him for interrupting her, but right now she didn't find herself feeling angry at all. She wasn't sure if it was due to the effects of the drugs or if her mind was too absorbed in the work in front of her. Her hand fervently scribbled on the papers with her pencil and she paused before responding, the syllables and words coming out of her mouth slowly as she kept her attention on her math practice.

"What's up, Oyaji?"

"You've been working at that since I got home, kiddo. Come eat breakfast."

… Wait, what? Breakfast?

Moroha hesitated, blinking a few times before fully processing what he just said. When she looked up towards the window above her desk, she was stunned to see the sun poking from beyond the horizon. Moroha hadn't even noticed it was morning, and her shock deepened once she saw the time — 7:04 AM — on her digital clock.

I really stayed up… I really stayed up all night…!

She didn't even notice him walk across the room over to her desk, she was so taken aback. Moroha felt him nudge her arm with his hand as he looked over her shoulder at the work she had done during the night. A hum of acknowledgment left Inuyasha, and for the first time in forever, Moroha could have sworn he sounded pleased with her.

"Geez, you got a lot done, huh? I guess you weren't lying to me after all… Good for you, Morocchi."

Now that Moroha was looking at it all, and processed the amount of work she had done, even she was impressed. There had to be at least thirty sheets of filled paper, all containing equations and questions from her midterm preparation textbook, and she couldn't repress the smile that crossed her face. Happiness, and relief, and pride filled her being all at once in a rush.

Turning away from the desk for the first time in hours, Moroha looked up at her father proudly, undoubtedly pleased with his comments. Inuyasha merely raised an eyebrow in response, but couldn't repress the small grin that crossed his face once he saw her expression. Moroha felt warm inside. Moroha felt happy. His praise made her feel better than any substance ever could, one-thousand times over.

For the remainder of the exam period, Moroha remained awake twenty-four-seven studying, vigilantly taking notes, reading, and doing the practice assignments within the textbooks. S was a wonderful, wonderful thing. She had been careful to ration everything out, to make it last as long as she needed it to. Right before the tests had been handed out she retreated to the washroom, swallowing the remaining powder within the baggy Yura had given to her. This was the final stretch, after all. She had to remain awake, stay focused, and do well.

Once she got home, and the S was finally starting to wear off, she crashed into bed and slept right on through to the next morning. Once she was awake she was back to her regular self, as though everything was business as usual. But there was a tugging feeling in the back of her mind. The instinctive voice in the back of her head, the one that would warn her if she was in danger, was craving something else, yearning for that feel-good sensation again. Warning her if she didn't have that enhancement, that she wouldn't do well.

Quit sabotaging yourself! She cursed her thoughts. I wrote those answers with my own hands…!

Normally, once the school's test results were released she would avoid the posting until the very end of the day when most of the students had dispersed and only she and the teachers remained in the building. Every result was more disheartening than the last, and the tanking grade scores that just seemed to get lower and lower with each testing period never failed to disappoint her.

As she walked up the white stone steps to the school, before she even set foot on the official school grounds, she found herself surrounded by several of the kids in her class, including the hanyous that she once sat with at lunch.

"Amazing, Taisho-chan!"

"I never would have expected it from you, to be honest…"

"Tell me your secrets! Please, pretty please!"

She was so discombobulated by the sudden rush of her classmates that Moroha raised her hands in the air, motioning them to stop. "Woah, you guys! Back it up. What are you even talking about?"

"You're at the top of the class, Taisho-chan!" The voice she recognized as Asagi's rang out, the class president emerging from the crowd of people to stride over and embrace her. When Asagi pulled away she rubbed Moroha's shoulders assuringly, and giggled at the stunned look on Moroha's face. "Congratulations!"

It had to be a lie. It had to be. Perplexed, Moroha broke away from the group of students crowding her to run towards the front foyer of the school. When she burst through the doors, there was already a crowd of kids gathered around the billboard listing everyone's exam rank. She squeezed her way through the group to the front, scanning her eyes over everything until she finally found the posting for her class.

There it was. Plain as day. No doubt about it. She wasn't even sure what emotion filled her as she stared at her name, written in capital letters, beside the bold '#1' at the top of the list. Moroha was almost certain that her jaw had dropped. She stared at the information for a solid minute, trying to process the shock, relief, and glee that was simultaneously overwhelming her.

She couldn't wait to get home and show her parents. They would be beyond thrilled.

Moroha physically jumped as an arm wrapped around her shoulder and a cheek pressed up against her own on the opposite side, a content hum coming from the person embracing her. Moroha could tell from the scent of heavy, flowery perfume that it was Yura, but she didn't pull away. Moroha just kept staring at the listing in wonder.

"I have more S… if you ever need it, of course," Yura purred, purposely keeping her voice as low as possible while giving Moroha's shoulder a final squeeze as she pulled herself away from the shihanyou. "I'm just glad I could give you a leg up…"

Yura shook the purse she was carrying for emphasis, and it nearly drew Moroha to her like a dog would be drawn to a treat. But Moroha kept her feet firmly in place, studying Yura's face which wore its typical sly smirk. Moroha's gaze only broke when she felt the other girl slide a piece of paper into her hand.

"I'm having another party tonight… Wanna come? Same place, same time, all summer…" Yura purred, not waiting for a reply as she turned away from Moroha and waved as she began to walk away. "I'm sure I'll see you around, Taisho."

Yura made her exit, gently pushing her way through the group of students. It was only a matter of seconds before Moroha lost sight of her within the crowd. She glanced down at the paper Yura gave her, which had the youkai's number scribbled on it between all the stickers she must have added to decorate it. In addition to the number, there was a short note written on the corner of the slip.

'YOU KNOW WHO TO CALL!'

Moroha's brows furrowed as she wandered away from the posters on the board and the evergrowing crowd, calmly pushing students to the side as she made her way through. Moroha was pleasantly surprised by her invite since she had honestly not expected Yura to want to interact with her again outside of buying the stuff for future study sessions. Did Yura honestly like her? Was someone, for the first time in forever, genuinely interested in her company? Maybe this was her chance to make a friend, to finally have someone to enjoy high school life with. Maybe she would, finally, have fun during her time here.

Once she was out of the way and off to a relatively isolated side of the lobby by herself, Moroha pulled out her phone. As she opened her contact list a small sliver of doubt entered her mind.

I shouldn't go there again… I shouldn't do it again…

For a brief second, she even considered tossing the slip into the garbage. But as that idea came to mind, the voice in the back of her head became ferociously louder and much, much more demanding. Moroha licked her lips as she thought about that feeling and the wonderful results that came out of it, and how it was now available to her anytime she wanted. Getting good grades, being able to stay awake, living up to her parent's expectations … It was all just a simple phone call away now.

But I mean, even prescription drugs can kill you if you don't use them correctly, right? You just have to follow the instructions and do it properly… It's the same with this stuff…

With that in mind, and all apprehension pushed aside, she clicked the 'Save' button on her phone, preserving Yura's number within her device.

Whatever… I have it, just in case…

Hisui replied immediately.

Seconds after hitting ENTER, her message lingering for only a few long moments, an invitation to join a voice chat popped up on the screen. The sound of the ringing from the app caused Moroha's stomach to jump into her throat. Moroha couldn't deny the fact that she was scared shitless right now. She had not spoken to Hisui in the entirety of the four years she had been incarcerated. Not a single visit, phone call, or letter had come her way from him, although she couldn't blame him after everything that had happened. Ever since she had gotten out, and admittedly even while she was still at the facility, thinking about how these kinds of conversations would go filled her with dread she could hardly stomach. These talks would be inevitable, but it didn't make her feel any less nervous.

Moroha readjusted her headphones and brought the mic close to her mouth and, finally, clicked on Hisui's avatar to enter the voice call. There were a few moments of silence before she finally took the initiative to speak first and gently said, "Hello?"

"Oh my gods…" Hisui gasped in disbelief, and heat rose to Moroha's cheeks at the sound of his voice. It had been so long since she'd heard it. "It's you! You're out! You're really out…!"

Is he alone? What if Sango and Miroku are there? Moroha thought to herself, dread immediately filling her at the idea of those two overhearing. She loved them to death, she did. They had been like a second pair of parents to her for as long as she could remember. But if either of them caught wind of her being released Moroha was willing to bet that her mother and father would know within minutes, especially considering their natural penchant for gossiping. That situation was not something Moroha was ready to deal with quite yet.

"Is it just you in the apartment?" Moroha questioned, her voice falling to a whisper even though Hisui was the only one who could hear her. "Your parents aren't home right now, right? Or your sisters?"

"Oh! No, it's just me," Hisui assured her, chuckling nervously at her concern. "Sorry, I should have said that…"

Moroha didn't verbally reply, keeping quiet while she awaited any further reaction from him. An awkward silence fell between them both as they both waited for one another to further the conversation. Considering the length of the pause, he didn't know what to say either. It made her feel better, just by a smidgen. She nearly opened her mouth to ask him why he wanted to talk, preferring to just get straight to the point before he spoke first to fill the void.

"I'm surprised to see you on here. Or using this account, I mean. I wasn't sure if you were going to make a new one, or if you forgot the password or something…"

"You're kidding, right? I've had this username for how long now?" She rested her chin in her hand as she thought about it. Moroha couldn't recall any instance where she had gone by something else in her online life. "Would I ever go by anything else besides 'Beniyasha?'"

"Haha, I guess not. I still remember how that name came about. Do you?"

"Yeah, you and I used to run around your place playing 'Demon Slayers.' I was Beniyasha, Destroyer of Lands and you'd throw the cardboard Hiraikotsu at me," as she recalled those days she felt a little smug. "You never got me, though. I was too fast for your ass."

A good-natured laugh erupted from Hisui, and she couldn't help but laugh along too as he continued. It was almost refreshing to hear the familiar sound. "I used to get you all the time! You were just a cheater!"

The light-hearted humor that had always been there between them shone on through like a diamond. It was almost as though nothing had ever happened. As though it was just like before. Moroha decided that him joking around with her like this was a good sign. Definitely a good sign.

"Yeah right! You just say that to make yourself feel better…" Moroha smiled at the sound of him laughing even harder. "It's okay, Hisui. You can admit the truth to me here in private…"

"Oh please! Hey, remember that one time I threw Hiraikotsu and it accidentally spilled Gyosuke's drink? And it went all over her food?" Hisui cracked up a little further before continuing, "Gyo-chan cried for half an hour! And your reply was, 'It's not my fault he needs more demon slayer training! Unless… Gyo-chan is a demon too?' Ki'nu was so mad at us!"

Moroha giggled even harder at the thought of Ki'nu's angry face. She was especially funny when she was mad, genuinely or not. "I forgot about that! Oh my gods, that was hilarious. Good times, good times…"

As their laughter calmed down, she recalled those moments more thoroughly. They certainly had a blast together as kids. Those days felt as though they happened an entire lifetime ago, but she remembered them as though they had happened just yesterday. Playing those games with Hisui were some of her most precious memories from childhood. They even went out of their way to get costumes for their shenanigans, too. She remembered stealing the Robe of the Fire Rat from Inuyasha, the baggy fabric hanging off of her and covering her clothes, while Hisui sported a tight black bodysuit they had both come across in a bargain bin. The two of them spent an entire afternoon together to craft armor for his costume out of cardboard. Both sets of their parents had pictures of them, and Moroha wished she had a copy of her own to look back on right now. She wished she could see both of their smiling faces, to reflect on that moment in time captured within the frame. Maybe it was because she was getting older, but looking back on happier times filled her with a wonderful sense of nostalgia.

"Speaking of a good time, I saw you playing Crucible of Kodoku earlier…" He let that linger for a little bit, and Moroha immediately knew where this was heading. "Do you want to do a round or two?"

"Of course," Moroha smirked and cracked her knuckles before returning her hands to rest on the keyboard. Her fingers immediately went to the buttons she would have to use, the motions ingrained into her muscle memory. "I haven't lost my touch, you know… So I guess I can just carry you to the lower levels. Business as usual, I guess."

"Hey!" Hisui barked, "I haven't lost my touch either, you know!"

Fall of 2013

"Taisho-chan…!" Asagi gasped, looking Moroha up and down with wide, shocked eyes. "You've lost so much weight that even your socks are falling down!"

"I know, right?" Moroha purred, unable to help the grin spreading across her face as she pulled her school skirt up her thin, toned legs. "I don't think I've ever looked better, to be honest."

She hadn't meant to brag, but her confidence soared even higher as she looked at herself in the full-length mirror of the locker. It wasn't the first time someone noticed how she looked, unable to help but feel smug as she thought back to a few of the other girls in their class who also commented when Moroha had first changed for gym class earlier that morning. She was thinner than she had ever been, and she'd be damned if she didn't look fantastic. The uniform her parents bought for this year was already far too large for her, and she had to fiddle with bobby pins and elastic bands to keep her clothes from falling off of her petite frame. Moroha always had been on the smaller side, but eating all that junk food to stay up and study had, admittedly, packed a couple of pounds onto her.

But not anymore. She couldn't resist checking herself out in the reflection for what felt like the umpteenth time. Were those abs she was seeing? Her body was all muscle now, barely any fat anywhere except for the places where it mattered. It couldn't get any better than this.

… Well, once she had another line of S then, yes, everything would get better than this.

Ever since spring terms exams, she had been spending time with Yura. In the beginning, she didn't spend every day with her — only when Moroha was particularly bored and wanted the company of someone other than her mother and father. She had tried to get a hold of Hisui, but whenever she called he was either out, away with his college friends, or working.

When she finally ventured out to Yura and the group that regularly hung around the arcade, Moroha had far more fun than she expected she would. The group of people who were regularly there were nice to be around and chatted with her as though she had been hanging out with them for years. She hadn't expected them to be so welcoming, always having pictured people who were into that kind of lifestyle as secretive, aggressive, and careless, but they were the exact opposite of that. They sat around in the room most days smoking and consuming whatever was available to them on the table, but outside of that, harmed no one and didn't bother a soul. Moroha hadn't felt any pressure to participate alongside them, either. It had always just remained an option that was available to her.

It was only one day when she was sitting with Yura, who was admittedly stoned out of her gourd, that she had prompted Moroha about it.

"What's the point of even buying S if you're not going to have some real fun with it?"

Of course, Moroha liked it. She would just be outright lying if she said otherwise. But she had to be careful with it. Even when she had only used it that one time, she felt a strong urge to do more. A craving that sat in the far reaches of her mind for days afterward.

"But won't I get addicted?" Moroha asked, watching Yura smoke on a joint. Whatever was in there offended her senses so badly that she felt stuffed up whenever Yura smoked it. But she always insisted, telling Moroha that it helped 'bring her down.'

"It's a stimulant, Moroha-chan," Yura assured her, having moved on to refer to her on a first-name basis long before then. "You can stop using it anytime you want. You only live once, you know? Better to be here for a good time than a long time, is what I've always thought…"

The feeling of walking on Cloud Nine was what Moroha loved more than anything. Before she knew it she was using it regularly, solely for the fun of it. When she was high off of it everything and everyone around her felt like they were far, far more interesting than they had been when she was sober. She hadn't had this much fun or felt this social in what felt like ages. Moroha could say with complete honesty with a straight face that she was happy.

All the money she made from sweeping floors went towards buying some more. But it was worth every yen, and she was careful not to spend any more than she had on it. It was easy to ration its use, she figured. But her mind was always consciously — and painfully — aware of the odorless white powder that she kept with her. She knew exactly how much she had, where it was stored, and where she could do it without getting caught.

As she thought about it now, in the middle of the changing room, she licked her lips with anticipation. It was only 9:00 AM and she was already craving more, regardless of still feeling the effects of the last time. But fuck it. It didn't matter. As soon as she had some privacy, and was certain no one would see her, she would partake once again. Hell, she deserved a little reward to give to herself for doing so well in all aspects of her life, after all…

"I mean… you've lost a lot in such a short period, Taisho-chan…" Asagi piped up again, keeping her head down to focus on doing up her shirt. Her hands fiddled with the buttons for a suspiciously long time. Moroha figured it was just a perfectly convenient distraction for the girl considering that Asagi was, all of a sudden, avoiding looking at her in the eye. "I'm kind of worried…"

"I've just been eating less," Moroha said simply, fiddling with a bobby pin to fasten her skirt but not taking her eyes off of the girl's reflection in the mirror. "That's all."

"Is it?" Asagi took a deep breath, as though to prep herself mentally, before finally asking, "Is that really it? This doesn't have to do with you spending all that time with Yura, does it?"

… Scratch that. Once she got away from Asagi, and then had another line of S, everything would get better than this.

"No," Moroha replied brusquely, watching the class president wince from her tone in the reflection of the mirror. "Why would it?"

"Well, I mean, you know that Yura is no good, right Moroha-chan? She is bad news. And I just noticed you two were spending a lot of time together. And you've just been… I don't know, different. That's all."

"Are you jealous?"

Moroha couldn't repress a smirk at Asagi's face flushing bright red as she shook her head. Whether it was shame or embarrassment flooding her face, Moroha didn't know, but before Asagi could continue Moroha turned around to physically face the other girl as she shrugged her school shirt onto her shoulders.

"You shouldn't judge a book by its cover, you know. Yura's cool. There's nothing wrong with her. Maybe if you bothered getting to know her you wouldn't be such a gossip."

Now Asagi was definitely offended if the angry look on her face was anything to go by. Despite that, Moroha was not willing to back down. Not on this one. She wasn't sure if her cravings were what was fueling her sudden belligerence, or if she was finally just done with Asagi's antics. But now she was going to say how she felt. If Asagi wouldn't leave her alone, especially over stupid stuff like this, Moroha would have to make her. Asagi was not going to figure out what was going on or get in the way of anything, as far as Moroha was concerned.

"I'm not a gossip, Taisho-chan! She's done crazy stuff to everyone in the class! And not just us! She pulled stunts on people from the other groups in our year too!"

"Well, when you all act oh-so-judgemental people end up feeling like they've been pushed away. That's probably why Yura doesn't want to talk to any of you…" Moroha mused cold-heartedly, "I mean, that's why I want nothing to do with you or any of your friends anymore, after all."

Now Asagi looked outright hurt, but Moroha didn't feel a tinge of sympathy for the pout that formed on her face. Moroha didn't even have to reference what she was talking about, as Asagi zoned in on their previous incident earlier in the school year immediately. "L-listen, I'm sorry about that day. I'm sorry they hurt your feelings. I even stood up for you that day when it happened, remember? We've been trying to make it up to you —"

"I don't want to hear it," Moroha cut her off with a growl, grabbing her school bag out of the locker and swinging it over her shoulder. "There's nothing to worry about. I'm fine, she's fine, everything is fine. Okay? So keep your nose where it belongs, which is out of my business. I don't want you asking me about my life or asking about my friends anymore. Got it?"

The aggression she was feeling was snowballing inside her, becoming bigger and threatening to turn into an avalanche with every minute that passed by. She felt more irritated than she usually would at a question like that. But Asagi remained silent, conforming to having no comment at all while keeping her gaze locked on the floor. Moroha rolled her eyes, shutting the locker door shut much harder than she had to. As the sound reverberated off the walls she began to walk away, but before she could exit she heard Asagi's voice from the back of the room where she stood.

"… I really am sorry, Taisho-chan."

Moroha almost had half a mind to reply, wanting to do nothing more than to bite her head off so Asagi would finally learn her lesson. If she had to learn the hard way, so be it. But instead, thinking of the substance in her bag that had been so sweetly calling out to her since the beginning of gym class, she shook her head and let out an audible huff through her nose. She whipped around the corner and out of sight from the class president, intent on looking for an empty bathroom stall somewhere else in the school to partake in her activities. Preferably, in a bathroom stall as far away from here, Asagi, and the harsh truths of reality as possible.

It was supposed to be a relaxing evening. One where she was supposed to chill out, eat good food, catch up with those dear to her, and spend quality time with one of her closest friends.

While these kinds of Saturday nights were more common when she was younger, they had certainly become farther and fewer between as they had all gotten older. Getting together for a meal at Sango and Miroku's place hadn't happened for a while for a wide variety of reasons. Ki'nu and Gyosuke weren't living at home anymore, she and Hisui were preoccupied with school, the adults were busy with work, family and other obligations. Life in general was what kept them away from each other. But they had finally found a weekend that worked for everyone, and when the date rolled around they found themselves all together once again. Moroha would be lying to herself if she didn't miss that feeling of unity, the atmosphere of chatting and listening to family and friends talk and laugh together at the table, and of course, the wonderful aromas of food, steaming rice and vegetables accompanied by the sounds of meat sizzling…

Oh Gods, the food. She loved the food, that was the best part. Moroha loved the food so much that she even put off having S all day so she could have an appetite for later in the evening. Sneaking off to the bathroom after all was said and done to indulge, knowing that her parents and everyone else were in the adjacent room, was a mindfuck in and of itself. But she couldn't wait anymore. She was terrified of getting caught, but there was a strange thrill associated with the prospect as well. It made everything more dangerous, more exciting. The only saving grace was that, with a full stomach, it would take a while for it to kick in. She would just head home before her parents did, walk it off a little …

But that still left her a few hours for some time with Hisui, which was really what she was looking forward to more than anything. But from the moment she came in, he was acting strange.

"Did you see last week's episode? Gods, what a trainwreck…" Moroha casually laid on his bed, sitting partially upright with her back against his stack of pillows while he sat at his desk doing homework. Hisui had barely looked up from it since she came into the room, and she was getting sick of staring at the back of his neck. Usually, he had far more to say even if he was swarmed by work. The way he was behaving was very much unlike him. "Half of the episode was a recap! Honestly, sometimes this anime is so stupid!"

"Hm."

There it was, that curt, brief reply again. There was an edge to his tone and Moroha couldn't quite figure out why it was there. She stayed silent for a few more seconds, but she couldn't take it anymore and finally blurted out, "What the hell is your problem?! I've been trying to talk to you all night and you've been weird. What's with you? Are you stressed out about something?"

That made him pause, although Hisui didn't turn around to face her. Moroha sat up fully and crossed her legs, resting her elbows on her knees as her hands dangled in front of her. She didn't take her eyes off of him, and almost she wished her eyes could burn holes into his back with her eyes.

"Well, if you have something to say just say it—"

"You're not doing drugs, are you?"

The question swept her off of her feet, she hadn't been expecting it at all. She was grateful that he wasn't looking at her because she physically recoiled in response. She had undergone every effort that she could think of to make sure no one could ever find out. She had made sure no one followed her, made sure to be as normal as possible … Had he known what she was doing in the washroom?

"What makes you think that?"

"I know you're hanging out with that Yura chick. Asagi told me," he said, swiveling around in his chair so that he was facing her. He didn't look pleased at all. "Yura's always with certain people who hang around my college all day. People who you wouldn't want to be around. People who are known to sell that kind of thing."

Moroha purposely ignored the last part of what he said, immediately zoning in on the other name he mentioned. "Why would you believe Asagi? What did she tell you? She spreads rumors and gossips all the time, you shouldn't believe anything she says. I didn't even know you both spoke to each other!"

"We were on student council together," he replied simply, still looking as unimpressed as ever. "Of course we kept in contact. Asagi and a bunch of other people are worried about you, you know. She told me you were acting weird and that you flipped out on her one day. Out of nowhere, too—"

"Oh, please!" Moroha rolled her eyes hard, swinging herself around on the bed so her feet were planted on the floor. "She and her friends were making fun of me earlier in the semester, and I finally got sick of her fake nicey-nice bullshit and told her to leave me alone. Now she's all up in her feelings because I made friends with someone who isn't her. So what? If she can dish it she can take it, right?"

"She didn't dish anything to you, Moroha. She told me all about it."

"Are you kidding me right now, Hisui? So what, you're going to take her word over mine?"

"In this instance? Yes."

His boldness surprised her, and she opened her mouth to quip at him but decided against it. Moroha stared at him with a hard look, her hands shaking a little as they gripped the blanket beneath her.

"Would you take a drug test?" Hisui asked in all sincerity, and the suggestion nearly made Moroha laugh out loud. The amusement must have been apparent on her face because he pressed even further. "I'm not kidding around, Moroha. I bought one of those at-home kits before you came here. If you haven't done anything then there is nothing to worry about, right?"

He wasted no time, leaning over to his bookbag to pluck the product out of the compartment in one fluid motion. The feelings of amusement quickly vanished and were replaced with irritation. Moroha couldn't repress the tiny growl that left her throat as Hisui made a motion with his hand for her to take it.

"… What, did you switch majors or something? Have you decided to become a freakin' narc, now?"

Hisui's expression merely hardened at her comment, and did nothing but make the motion with his hand again.

She eyed the bright blue box, her mind racing on what she should say or do next. Hisui had always been an assertive and open-minded person, but right now, he was being far more insistent than he'd ever been in the past. On top of it all, Moroha had no clue how to fake her way out of this one. She couldn't come up with anything. He had, very effectively, used the element of surprise to catch her on the spot and back her into a corner.

She scoffed, shaking her head and mumbling under her breath, "Just give me three days and I'll pass it. No problem."

His eyes went as round as saucers, and she turned further away from him, not able to stomach his expression or his triumph.

"So you are doing drugs!" He exclaimed, his tone now hushed to make sure no one in the rest of the apartment could hear them.

"… Whatever. It's not a big deal, you're overexaggerating."

"Overexaggerating?!"

"Yes, overexaggerating!" She snapped, the well of her patience running dry. "You've got the wrong idea. I mean, tons of people smoke cigarettes and drink alcohol too, right? Everyone has the wrong idea about drugs because they're only told about the bad ones. But if they were really so scary why does everyone pay so much for them? Huh? Why do they keep using them?"

"Because they get addicted to them, Moroha. Do you hear yourself right now?" Hisui let out a long sigh, shaking his head in disappointment. "Was it the drugs that helped you do well on your midterms too?"

"Yes, they did. Have you never even considered doing them? Not even once?" Moroha questioned him, genuinely curious about how he would answer. "S has never done anything except help me. I have no idea why anyone would ever turn it down."

"Of course I thought about it…" Hisui answered, breaking eye contact to look at the tips of his feet. "But… then I think about my family, and friends, and my future. Drugs can ruin people's lives, Moroha, even if they only try them once. Once I think of that, I know I'd never be able to go through with it. I have too much to offer. You have too much to offer, too!"

"Keh. So you have hopes and dreams for the future, huh?" She let out a dry chuckle, shaking her head. "That must be nice. I have nothing to look forward to. I can't even do basic math, let alone get by in high school. I'll never go to college. I need the S, Hisui. If I don't have it, I'll probably slave away in that restaurant for the rest of my life. To you, the sky's the limit. You have what it takes… But not me. I'm nothing without it."

An uncomfortable, heavy silence fell between them. He didn't seem to have a single idea as to what he should even say. Hisui met her eyes again, with an even more serious look on his face this time around.

"Is working at Shikon-ya really so awful? Even then, you can always change things. I just… I can't believe you'd do something like that. I can't believe you'd lie. You could get into a lot of trouble if you were ever caught with that, you know. And what would your parents say if they found out?"

Upon hearing the mention of her parents something snapped in her, and she promptly stood up from the bed with her hands balled into fists at her side. She crossed the threshold of being annoyed, to outright angry, to deeply livid all in the course of a single moment. Moroha couldn't believe he would throw that in her face, regardless of whether he was proving a point or not. Cautiously, Hisui stood as well.

"I got those grades by myself… I didn't cheat, I learned everything on my own…" Moroha hissed, moving to stand right in front of Hisui. She barely reached his shoulder and he didn't look threatened at all, but they were so close that she could hear his breathing and his heartbeat. The sound increased its pace as she jabbed a finger into his chest to emphasize her point. "I would never do anything that would hurt my parents! I lived up to their expectations…!"

"Moroha," he said her name firmly and slowly, still not budging. "Back off, you're getting worked up. I'm sorry, I hit a sore spot and I didn't mean to. I just… wanted to talk to you about it. As your friend."

Moroha shook her head, remaining rooted to the spot where she stood for a few more moments before taking a couple of steps back, but without taking her eyes off of his face. As she did so, she felt herself get a little woozy from the familiar rush that suddenly hit her. The drugs were kicking in already, way earlier than she expected they would. She took a deep breath, wrapping her arms around herself but still maintaining her distance and her gaze. The fire of her vexation still burned hot, but she hoped now she would be able to think with a clearer mind. Drugs always had that to offer her, at least.

"I know they've been giving you a hard time over your grades, but… I want you to promise me that you'll stop and that you won't see Yura anymore. Don't you realize what kind of trouble you're asking for, hanging out with them? I know them, they're all scum. And imagine how amazing you'll feel about yourself if you get those grades again without needing that extra help. You'd feel happy, wouldn't you? I'll even tutor you myself if you want me to—"

"I can't do it on my own. I need it," she retorted, her expression not changing. "Without it, I do nothing else except 'fuck it up.'"

Hisui winced at that, intuitively knowing that she was quoting Inuyasha. He didn't seem to know how to reply to that statement either. But she was sick of this conversation, and everything that was being asked of her. She didn't want to stop using it. She wanted to get good grades, she wanted to keep having fun, she wanted to keep making new friends. Why did everyone in her life have to make everything so fucking hard? If she made one person happy she'd just end up peeving off another. Didn't she deserve a break? To have a good time?

But the look on his face made her waver. She knew he wouldn't have brought it up if he wasn't serious. Normally he was a talkative goofball who didn't let anything bother him. Hisui even bringing it up to her in the first place, and acting the way he did beforehand, was terribly out of character for him. Hisui had been her good, dear friend for as long as she'd known him. It wasn't worth it to push him away, especially after having gone through all that trouble of getting the tests and then even offering to help her …

Suddenly she was grateful everything had kicked in when it did. She was considering the situation more thoroughly than she was before when she was sober and irritable, which to her, was hilariously ironic. Moroha finally broke eye contact to look down at her feet, having come to a decision.

"… I won't write my midterms with them," she finally agreed, her voice quiet. "I'll prove to you and my parents that I can get those grades on my own."

Moroha's chin rested on her hand, her eyes focused on the scene in front of her as both her and Hisui's characters celebrated defeating the final boss and finally becoming the Kodoku. While it had been fun to play with Towa, show her the ropes, and gradually watch her get better and better, it was an entirely different experience playing with someone who was just as good at the game and as familiar with it as Moroha was. They had blasted through most of the minibosses with relative ease, moving on to explore the harder-to-find areas and venturing into parts of the Crucible that were still mostly unknown to the casual player base. There were new spots in it that Moroha hadn't even seen yet, most of them having been patched into the game during the time of her incarceration. It was thrilling, almost as though she was playing the game for the first time again.

She sighed and looked at the time. It was nearly midnight now, and she had been waiting for a few minutes for Hisui to come back from getting something to eat and drink. To 'restore his powers,' as he had jokingly put it. She was grateful that they had ended up playing the game, like old times, instead of immediately jumping into an interrogation.

Suddenly the mic made a rustling noise, and after a few seconds of getting situated he spoke up. "Okay, I'm back."

"Hey."

"Did you get something to eat too? You've been sitting in front of the screen for longer than I have."

"No, I'm good. I ate already. What are you eating?"

"Tonkatsu, I made some rice with it real quick. I got one of those new high-tech rice cookers, it's great. The rice is really fluffy…"

There were a couple of moments of comfortable silence between them, the only audible noise being Hisui still shuffling around on the other end of the mic. Now that Hisui had mentioned it, all Moroha could think about was the food he was eating. The fried, breaded pork cutlets had been one of her favorite things to eat when both of their families got together to eat. After all this time, while here in Shisato and especially in prison, she found herself missing her mother and Sango's food.

"I envy you. I miss your mom's cooking."

"Oh, you'd be disappointed in this, then. Ma didn't make it," He told her, "I need to head back out and get the real thing sometime soon, though. I actually have my own place now, so now I make everything myself."

"What? Really? You live on your own?" She didn't know why she was shocked, considering his age and the fact that he would have wrapped up school by now, but she was. He had always been close to Sango — attached at the hip, even — and Moroha always thought that he would put off moving out as soon as possible. She still imagined him living at home this entire time. "Where?"

"In Yokohama."

"Yokohama?" Moroha replied incredulously, laughing out loud before even realizing she had done so. "Why are you out there? Too good for Tokyo now, huh? Moving on to greener pastures?"

"Hey! I'm not too good for Tokyo! It's only a half-hour train ride away, so I'm not in any green pastures. I'm still living it up on good old asphalt."

Same old dorky jokes, she chided to herself. "What are you even doing out there?"

"I'm running Shikon-ya," he told her, glowing with pride. "The fourth location just opened."

The fourth? Moroha was amazed to hear that. Her parents, Sango, Miroku, plus Shippo, worked like horses to get Shikon-ya to where it was. They had just opened a second location, in Shibuya, right around the time she had gotten incarcerated. Their hard work had, clearly, paid off. She was relieved to hear that it was going swimmingly well despite feeling sad that she missed out on it. Everything had changed while she had been away. While she remained static, everything else remained dynamic. Life had, truly, moved on without her.

"That's great…!" She said, the phrase sounding more like air being pushed out of her lungs than actual words. "Where's the third one?"

"Right outside of Shinjuku Station. That location is mind-blowing. Because of all the foot traffic, it's become the most popular place out of all of them!"

No one could deny that the ramen was scrumptious. Moroha thought back to the summer when she worked at Shikon-ya and all of the people willing to wait in line just to get a chance at ordering some of the food, even just for take out. And that was in a small residential neighborhood. She couldn't even comprehend the lines that would have formed in the commercial area of Shinjuku, right outside the busiest train station not just in Japan, but the entire world.

"Thank the kami you're not at that location, huh?"

"Well, we're right near Yokohama's main station at the fourth one. It's picked up too, we've really made a name for ourselves!" He paused, before quietly adding, "I just hope Ma is proud of me."

Moroha smiled a little to herself at that. While he and his mother were especially close, Hisui was everyone's golden boy. There was no disputing that. She knew that Hisui knew it too, but he never bragged or made a show of it. He was the type that always had to one-up himself, the type that told himself he could always be better than what he was. Whenever Hisui hit a metaphorical ceiling, he always found a way to break beyond it.

As Hisui told her all about the inner workings of the new location, the job itself, and updating her on the people who worked at the Shimokitazawa location, Moroha felt relieved to hear that they were all doing well. While she was away she had always thought of everyone and wondered how they were doing. A more morbid, pessimistic side of her had worried that she would come back to hear stories about how everything had become infinitely worse. But she was relieved to know that, at the end of the day, it was just paranoia and anxiety playing mind games with her.

But as he cut himself off and paused, she suddenly sensed the tone of the conversation change, as though Hisui was trying to find a way to approach her about something. Like he was searching for the right way to say something. Finally, after clearing his throat, he carefully trod forward.

"And what about you?" Hisui questioned cautiously, "Where are you?"

"… I'm actually with my aunt and uncle in Shikoku," Moroha told him. "I've been here for about six weeks."

"Really? You're all the way out there, and you're poking fun at me for living in Yokohama?"

She could repress her laughter at that one. "Yeah, I'm almost in the middle of nowhere. There's one train station, no other public transportation… It's the complete opposite of Tokyo."

"But do you like it out there?"

"Well, I mean, it's better than where I was, right?"

Hisui didn't appear to have any other reply to that outside of, "Yeah, you're right about that."

Moroha didn't know what to say to further the conversation, preferring to leave Hisui in the driver's seat to steer the discussion. She knew at some point these questions would be asked of her, and at least the first one to talk to her about it was a friend. On one hand, she felt bad that he felt the need to walk around on eggshells about it in the first place, and on the other, she felt bad that she had no words to say to him to ease his discomfort. What could she say?

"I have to be honest, I was really surprised to see you online. Don't take this the wrong way, but… I thought you weren't going to be out for another few years. And when you were going to get out, I thought we would have heard something from your parents about it. They didn't say a word about it to my mom or my dad. I always assumed that you would go back and live with them."

"I-I got out early due to good behavior. I'm on parole now, and it's going good. I haven't violated it at all or anything…" She hesitated for a few moments before continuing. The mention of her parents had sent a jolt through her that reverberated in her body. "I was released with my aunt as my guardian, and since I wasn't a juvenile when I got out the warden wasn't required to tell my parents where I was going. They… They don't know that I've been released."

"So you just… didn't tell them?"

"Yeah. I didn't say anything."

The contemplative silence hung heavy in the air between them. She wasn't sure exactly what Hisui knew of the situation, or what Sango and Miroku might have told him. He may have not known anything at all. Moroha almost had half the mind to tell him to drop it, and suggest that they keep playing the game to keep their mind off of the subject matter. She didn't want him to feel uncomfortable about anything. But before she could suggest anything, he spoke.

"Moroha-chan, I really am sorry for driving a wedge between you and Inu-ojisan," he apologized. The sincerity, and guilt, in his tone made her swallow nervously. "I really thought it would make things better if your dad knew. If I hadn't said anything—"

"No," she immediately cut him off. "It wasn't you. It definitely wasn't you. Things had been bad between us for a while, long before that. Because of other stuff."

Hisui still remained silent, and Moroha wasn't certain that he accepted what she was saying to him. She felt bad that Hisui had thought, this entire time, that things going badly between her and her father had been his fault. Nothing could have been further from the truth. What had happened, surely, had just been another layer on the metaphorical cake that was her and Inuyasha's relationship. But it wasn't that simple. Nothing between them, it felt like, was ever that simple.

Fall of 2013

She felt like she was going to be sick.

She had kept her promise to Hisui. She hadn't touched any of the drugs for the entire duration of the study period nor during the exams.

She hadn't expected to get her tests back as early as she did.

But as she stared at the numbers on the sheets of paper representing her final midterm marks — 29, 38, 21, 30, 16 — she had never felt more discouraged than she had in her entire life. The disappointment enveloped her tenfold this time around.

When she had brought home the last semester's final exams to them, the ones that had put her at the top of her class, her parents had both been very proud. Kagome was over the moon with how well she had done — "She gets it from me. Don't you, Morocchii?" — and her father had finally laid off and stopped criticizing every little thing she did. He hadn't poked in to check on her to make sure she was studying, trusting that she was doing so and would end up fine. He wrongfully assumed she was being truthful with him about it all. But she fell right back into her old habits, where her mind wandered and she couldn't maintain focus. She got tired and had to hit the hay far sooner than she wanted to. She couldn't comprehend what was happening on the page of the textbook long enough to really care.

"What the hell was last time? Some kind of fluke?" Inuyasha growled as Kagome looked over everything with a downcast, dispirited expression on her face. Moroha bit her lip, the sounds of the pages flipping as they were examined making her even more anxious. Usually when he swore at her Kagome would chide in, but this time, her mother remained quiet as she focused on reading over the tests. The teachers had required her parents to sign them off so that they knew she was failing. Again.

"I'm sorry," was all Moroha could muster.

"I thought you had finally smartened up, finally started taking everything seriously. Do we have to put you through cram school again? Should we put the computer out here so I can keep an eye on you while you do your homework as though you're five years old?"

"I just want to drop out," Moroha suddenly blurted without answering his question, which caused her mother to look up from the papers and her father to do a double-take. Moroha had been able to push these feelings back, she had barely thought about it since the day she started taking the drugs. But now she felt like she was trapped, like she was being suffocated, like she was about to panic. She wished she could step out and have some right now, to take the edge off. To make life easier.

"I hate school, I don't want to go. I hate everything about it, and it's all bullshit. I'm not going back."

"You're not dropping out," Kagome finally spoke up, putting the midterms down onto the table in front of her. Her mother looked shocked that it would come to this, that they were even having this conversation. "We're going to figure this out, and get it back on track. You did great, last time!"

Moroha felt the heat rise to her face. She didn't deserve Kagome's faith in her, not at all. She almost wished that she could tell them the measures she had to go to to get those grades in the first place, but that would inevitably lead to even more problems than what Moroha was stirring up now. "It doesn't matter. You can't stop me. I'm done."

"Are you fuckin' kidding with us, right now?" Inuyasha asked, looking at her with a bewildered expression. Moroha could feel the anger emanating off him, as though it was physically capable of hitting her in waves. She could also tell by the increased frequency in his swearing that he was going to start losing it. She couldn't stand it when he was angry with her like this, and she was already teetering on that emotional edge again as a result.

Inuyasha leaned forward in anticipation of what she was going to tell him next, which caused Moroha to waver a little but she was determined to stand her ground as she repeated herself. "You won't change my mind, Oyaji. Neither of you will. So, this is it. I am dropping out."

"You're going to finish school, Morocchi," Her mother interjected. Her tone, at the least, was calmer than her father's. "You're just upset right now—"

"She's not upset, Kagome. She's just lazy."

The insult made Moroha's face flush with anger, as though red hot flames were burning directly beneath her skin. But before she could snap back with an insult of her own, Kagome interjected on her behalf. "Inuyasha, that's not true. She studies all the time."

"Keh! Really, Kagome? Every time I went in there before to check on her studying she was always playing that stupid fucking game."

"I not lazy, Oyaji. I just don't see the point!" The hard edge to Moroha's voice was sharper than Tessaiga's blade. "How many more tests do I have to bring home to you for you to realize that?!"

"Why do you give up so easily, Moroha? Huh? You don't get it from me or your mother, so where do you get it from? We don't ask you to do anything around here except for one damn thing, and that's to do good in school. I tell you this all the time until I'm blue in the face, and now you're asking me if you can drop out?"

"I'm not asking you, Oyaji. I'm telling you."

Now the volumes of their voices were both rising, and as they began to butt heads and argue they could vaguely hear Kagome saying both of their names, trying to get their attention and to get them both to back down. But everything was coming to a head. Now they were both in it to win it, to see this through to the end.

"Wrong. And as long as you live under my fucking roof you'll be asking me what you can and can't do, not telling me what you can and can't do. You aren't dropping out!"

"I'm trying to be grown-up about this, Oyaji! I hate it and I don't want to go anymore! What else do you want me to say?!"

"Why you always fucking let me down when I constantly cover your ass would be a good start."

Moroha visibly winced at that, and the feeling of being smothered from earlier increased tenfold. She thought back to the incident with the computer when her father had done exactly that. Covered her ass without saying a word to anyone about it. Suddenly, there was a burning, watery sensation behind her eyes. It was humiliating to think about, humiliating to reconsider. There was no doubt about it; Inuyasha had won this one. There was nothing she could do, but despite that, she couldn't help but feel frustrated that they weren't listening to her opinion. This was the exact opposite of what she wanted. Avoiding this kind of scenario, one where everyone felt like they were being let down, was why she took the measures she had in the first place.

"Inuyasha!" Kagome scolded with a raised voice, interrupting the tirade he was undoubtedly about to fly off onto. He looked as though he was going to keep going, but Kagome snapped Moroha's attention back to her and spoke over him before he got a chance to keep going. "Morocchi, you're not dropping out of school. I don't know if you're just upset, or if something else happened, but you're being ridiculous. You're both being ridiculous right now. I don't know what is going on or what has happened between you two in the last few months for you both to talk to each other like this. But Morocchi, you worked hard to get into that school, you're a smart girl. It would be such a waste for you to leave. I am not going to let you throw all of that away on a whim—"

"I've been thinking about it forever. I didn't even want to go in the first place…!"

"Morocchi—"

"I can't talk to you both about anything," Moroha suddenly burst out, standing from where she was sitting. Her voice cracked on the last syllable as she began to cry. "I always feel like I'm talking to a brick wall, with you two!"

"You can talk to us!" Kagome exclaimed, now distraught by her daughter's tears and sudden outburst. But Moroha wasn't listening, and was now marching down the hallway towards her room and away from them both. "Morocchi!"

She left them behind in the main living area, closing her bedroom door behind her before unceremoniously falling onto the bed and burying her head in her pillows. In the background, between her sniffles and sobs, she could hear both her parents yelling at one another, one telling the other they were too harsh while the other said they had gone far too easy on her. The harmless bickering between her parents was normal, and it was something almost everyone around them laughed off, but this was much more intense. They were genuinely arguing with one another right now. And Moroha loathed the fact that she was the cause of it.

Since when had her existence become so painful for them?

At some point she turned to flick the switch on her bedside lamp to turn it off, making the room completely dark. At least if one of them tried to come in and talk to her they would leave her alone and assume that she was sleeping. Once the chaos in the living room had died down, and Moroha had a chance to calm her own emotions, she was able to think about what she should do. Dropping out was clearly out of the question, and doing badly in school was clearly out of the equation too.

Moroha had tried her best. She had put all her effort into it, she had tried to do it with nothing but her own merit, and her own abilities, and at the end of the day, all of it had been for naught. She needed outside help, and all the other benefits that came along with it, from something else. Even if it would be to her detriment later, as Hisui vehemently insisted it would be.

She reached for the phone on her bedside table, careful to keep the device under the blanket so the light from the screen wouldn't brighten up the room and indicate that she was awake. She needed to contact Yura. She needed to buy some more of the drugs. She needed to be in her parent's good graces again.

As she started to type out Yura's phone number, she thought of Hisui and pictured his face. Moroha did feel sorry that she would end up disappointing him and going back on her word. But, at the end of the day, if she had to choose between making Hisui happy and making Inuyasha and Kagome happy, the choice was simple. Hell, it wasn't just simple. It was obvious.

She pressed the green call button, putting the phone to her ear. The phone rang a few times, and Moroha almost figured she wouldn't answer and nearly hung up herself until she heard Yura's slurred, mangled voice greet her on the phone.

"Hey girl, it's me… Listen, I gotta drop by soon. It's an emergency…"

An awkward silence fell between her and Hisui, and she found herself thinking back to her parents. Despite what Hisui said, Moroha doubted that her parents would have let her move back home. At least her father would have refused, anyway. He had reacted to everything just as poorly as she did. Moroha wasn't sure if it was because they were both as stubborn and hot-headed as each other, but regardless, she had always found a way to take it to the next level. She always found a way to push his boundaries even further. He hadn't come to visit her the entire time she was locked away. She was ninety-nine point nine percent certain that he was completely and utterly done with her. But despite knowing that, she still thought about him every day. The idea of ever approaching him again spooked her, even though he was thousands of miles away.

It had always been her intention to approach Sesshomaru about him, to figure out if Inuyasha had said anything and to gain insight into the situation. But she couldn't guarantee Sesshomaru would tell her anything. The first time she had asked he ignored her, leaving her in suspense and to turmoil with her assumptions on what was going on. But, maybe…

"… By the way, Hisui, have you heard from Oyaji? How is he doing?"

There was a long pause, as though Hisui was contemplating on how to approach the question. She didn't press him, but with every second she waited the more nervous she became for his answer.

"Inu-ojisan didn't talk to me about anything after it happened," he said honestly, "You know how he is. But, my mom told me a little of what she thinks from observing the whole situation since he refused to talk to her about it when she asked. For a while, after you were gone he just kind of… withdrew and kept to himself. He still came to work and everything, but he didn't really talk much unless he had to. Ma thinks that's why the business is doing so well now. After he regained himself he just… kind of threw himself into it all head first, as a distraction. I think he felt as though he was responsible for everything. I mean… Inu-ojisan was devastated by the whole situation."

Devastated, her brain echoed, and the guilt she had been feeling every time she thought of him enveloped her tenfold. I was devastated too…

"… And I don't know, Moroha. I still feel sorry about what happened. Even if I didn't cause it, I still made it a lot worse."

Moroha vehemently shook her head, even though Hisui could not physically see her. She had to get it through to him that he was wrong, that he was looking at the situation the wrong way.

"You were trying to do the right thing. What were you supposed to do, be my therapist forever? That isn't your job, no matter who it is, ever. You were never responsible for my wellbeing, I was just lucky enough to have someone who did care. In hindsight, I know I needed the help, I just… reacted badly. To everything. There's nothing you, my dad, or anyone else could have done to change anything I was doing because, at that point, I didn't want to change. I had to want it for myself. I… had to be my own agent of change. You know? I've had a lot of time to reflect on things, Hisui. Trust me. It wasn't your fault."

Her words settled over them like a heavy blanket. Gods, I sound just like Yawaragi right now, Moroha thought to herself while picturing the wolf youkai's face. Sometimes, when Yawaragi told her these things, she would roll her eyes and dismiss it as being corny. As being lame. But now that she had to live it, she found herself falling back on the youkai's words more and more often. A lot of what she had told Moroha really were life lessons she could live by.

"… Geez, you have matured," he joked, and Moroha couldn't help but laugh at him. She had expected him to start debating her on the issue, to insist it was his fault. "I wasn't expecting that out of this."

"Well, I had someone help me navigate that stuff. If you want to thank anyone, thank her." There was a moment of silence between them before Moroha continued in a more downtrodden tone. "… And I'm sorry too, Hisui. For everything," she said, hoping her tone conveyed how much she meant it.

Everything had gone downhill between her and her father so fast. It always felt like one step forward, a million steps back every time.

Spring of 2015

"Gods, I can't believe that worked!" Moroha mused, her eyes wide as she and Yura made their way down the stairs into the dark underground nightclub. She put her fake ID card back into her wallet, still flabbergasted that the bouncer had let them through. "I thought we would get caught!"

"I told you my guy is good," Yura assured her, grabbing Moroha's wrist to ensure they wouldn't lose each other in the crowd. "Let's go to the washroom. I need to powder my nose."

Now that Yura mentioned it, Moroha was hankering to do the same thing. She had been looking forward to this all day, going as far as to start pre-drinking early on in the day. She was now effectively tipsy and was craving to add a little more to her repertoire for the night.

Her legs shook a little as they headed down the stairs at a fast pace, partially because she was drunk and partially because she was not used to wearing heels this high. Yura had lent her some clothes, even let Moroha rummage through her closet earlier to find a suitable outfit for the evening. Normally, she would have a change of clothes with her, but something about a pair of jeans and a t-shirt just didn't fit the occasion. And none of Moroha's special clothes would count as 'sexy.' Maybe the school uniform, if she rolled the skirt up just high enough, but it would have been social suicide to appear here in that. Besides, the only time she wore it was when she left her parent's apartment and when she came back. It was only worn to keep up appearances.

Moroha's attendance at school had been sporadic, and she remained forever thankful that the teachers and administration hadn't gotten ahold of anyone in her family yet. When she was asked to update her information at the beginning of the year Moroha purposely wrote down the wrong phone number for the faculty. The only time she ever appeared at school anymore was to write her exams, and because she got decent grades with the help of the S — despite having to cram months' worth of knowledge into her brain in a few short days — the teachers mostly kept off of her back.

If her parents wouldn't let her drop out, she just wouldn't go.

Nowadays she spent most of her time in the arcade with Yura, sitting around and hanging out with the people who normally camped out there. When she had the money, she did drugs. When she didn't, she'd contemplate ways to make money in order to keep doing more. Natsuko had made good on her word after years of saying she was returning to the country and finally left Tokyo to move in with Jinenji. Her minuscule source of income had finally been cut off. Her only saving grace was that she still had a little bit of savings from Natsuko left over, as well as birthday money that had been given to her by her relatives and friends of her parents.

It was costing her more now since she needed to do more and more of everything just to get the same effect. She had tried a tolerance break once to in an attempt to get her consumption levels under control, but she wasn't able to do it. She always craved it, and by the end of the second day, she found herself back at the arcade. Yura had tried convincing her to join 'her friends' host club and entertain men on dates for the cash — "Use them, abuse them, and lose them, Moroha-chan! That's what I do!"— but she hadn't reached that point of desperation yet. Moroha hoped she never would. But when the drugs wore off, she always felt so dull. When they wore off, she was always worried about everything. When they wore off, the pain in her heart came back.

But she had some cash and drugs on her. If she didn't have to worry about it now, then why bother worrying at all?

Moroha was giddy with anticipation as Yura dragged her into the bathroom, and by the time they were both at the counter, Moroha was already reaching into her purse to pull out everything for the night. She had M on her tonight, which was much better for partying and socializing. If she was going to be at a club, then she might as well be in the mood for dancing. There were already a few people at the counter doing the same thing. Some were even openly snorting substances off the surface, which made her feel better about doing it herself. She had hidden the pills in a little makeup palette underneath the trays. Normally, she didn't walk around with anything at all in case she was searched. But she had wanted to do it tonight so she underwent the risk. Tonight was going to be fun.

"I brought some new stuff with me, Moroha-chan!" Yura purred as she looked through her own bag, watching Moroha break up the pills into powder for snorting out of the corner of her eye. She had to raise her voice over the music to be heard. "Want to try it later? This stuff is psychedelic."

"What is it?"

"It's L. You put a patch underneath your tongue in a couple of hours once the M has kicked in and everything starts to look crazy," Yura pulled out what looked like a sheet of stickers. The tabs had a variety of happy faces and other pieces of art on them. "It's a good time. I felt like I was in a kaleidoscope last time I took some. With the M, it's even better. Candyflipping is the best!"

Moroha didn't even consider anything else before asking, "How much is it?"

"Don't worry about it, there's a bunch. It's on me," Yura cooed as she fixed her hair in the mirror. "Just meet up with me later, I'll give you some then."

Moroha most certainly would meet up with her later. If Yura offered a good time, she took it, and a good time was exactly what she was looking for tonight.

"Anyway, did I tell you about that stupid bitch that has been hanging out Haku-kun?" Yura overdramatically rolled her eyes as she checked her makeup in the mirror, squinting her eyes as she focused on her eyelashes. "Oh kami, Moroha-chan! So, the story is this…"

Moroha listened to Yura quite intently as she hovered over the pills, breaking them up within the bag with the lid of the lipstick she had brought with her. As Yura filled her in on the gossip within their friend group she suddenly heard a vibrating sound coming from her bag. Her one hand reached into her purse to fish for her phone while the other gently pounded everything into a finer powder that would be suitable for snorting. As she kept her attention on that Moroha found her device, bringing it close to her and swiping the screen to look at her notifications.

TAIJIYAH (21:36:14): What are you doing tonight? Are you around?

Moroha frowned as she looked at the username on the screen. He hadn't had time to hang out in forever because of college and tonight, of all nights, he wanted to see her? As Yura continued to prattle on Moroha set the lipstick container down, bringing both hands to her phone to text him back.

BENIYASHA (22:11:54): fuck man, i'm at a club right now
BENIYASHA: (22:11:58): you should have texted me sooner
BENIYASHA (22:12:03): we could have hung out
TAIJIYAH (22:12:20): A club? Are you old enough for that?

She rolled her eyes, and Yura cut her story off at the sight of Moroha's face. "What's up?"

"Nothing," she muttered, furiously texting him back so she could get back to what she was doing. "Hisui is messaging me."

"Oooh, isn't he the kid that you used to hang around in first year?" Yura asked, her mouth turning into an O-shape as she reapplied lip liner to her lips. "He's hot. Are you fucking him yet?"

"Nah, it'd be like having sex with my brother. Besides, he's not on the team I play for… If you catch my drift."

"Oh well, more for me! You should invite him out tonight," Yura suggested, talking at a lower volume now that the music had stopped and the DJ was addressing the crowd. "I'll have him if you won't."

Moroha halfheartedly chucked at her comment — Yura wasn't Hisui's type and Moroha knew that he would never go near her with a ten-foot pole even if he was paid to — but was now focused on the screen as they typed back and forth to one another.

BENIYASHA (22:12:50): whatever, yolo
BENIYASHA (22:12:55): you should come out tonight
BENIYASHA (22:13:01): we're at the four souls in kabukicho
TAIJIYAH (22:13:10): I don't know, it's not really my scene. That's not a good area at night either. Who are you with?
BENIYASHA (22:13:18): yura
TAIJIYAH (22:13:26): … Yura? I thought you stopped hanging out with her?
BENIYASHA (22:13:29): no lol
TAIJIYAH (22:13:37): Should I be worried? Because now I'm worried.
BENIYASHA (22:13:40): no
BENIYASHA (22:13:46): if you're gonna be like that i'm revoking my offer

Moroha was rolling her own eyes now, locking the screen of her device and tossing the phone back into her bag. "I'm not gonna bother inviting him, he's being a wet blanket right now."

"He's a square, huh?"

"Yeah, he sucks," Moroha stated, returning to her original task of grinding up the pills in the baggy. It was just about done. "Sorry to interrupt, keep telling me the story."

"Oh right. Yeah, this stupid bitch! So, she went up to Haku-kun and said…!"

She heard the vibrating of her phone within her bag, presumably it was Hisui texting her back, but she ignored it. She decided that her phone was going to remain in her purse for the rest of the night. Hisui, and everyone else outside of this place, was going to do nothing but annoy her and ruin her good time. There was room for nothing else tonight but good old-fashioned fun. The last thing she needed right now was a heavy dose of reality.

The upbeat electronic music that was blasting right now almost felt like it was flowing through her. Was she becoming one with the beat? Was the music the puppeteer while she simply was the doll on its strings? Moroha had no idea, but the rhythm of it nearly hypnotized her, the tones of the music having an even richer depth and meaning than she had ever attributed to them before.

She didn't know how long she had been dancing at this point, but she didn't feel tired at all. The only thing that was stronger than the bursts of energy was the constant pulse of euphoria that was echoing in her head. She had tried to be mindful to drink a lot of water, but she just ended up drinking more alcohol instead which only enhanced her feelings of sociability. She was in a remarkably good mood. She felt no inhibitions or anxiety having to talk to anyone, even feeling comfortable enough to make conversation with strangers. She felt like she could connect with just about anyone in the room on a deeper level than she ever could when she was sober.

At some point in the night, Yura had found her and reminded her of the tabs that were waiting for them both in her purse. Yura grabbed her hand again and led her to the same washroom they had been in — Gods, her hands were so warm — and they stood together at the counter, but this time with far fewer people than earlier especially now that the party was well underway.

"Your eyes look fucked, Moroha-chan!" Yura giggled, her face hovering close to the other girls. "It's like looking into the night!"

Moroha understood exactly what she meant. Moroha's pupils were large and pitch black, only a small ring of her light brown irises surrounded them. It was always fascinating to look at her eyes in the mirror like this when she was high. Everything else looked fine. She was sweating quite a bit but there was no unpleasant scent to detect, which she was thankful for. Her nose had been overwhelmed by all the other odors she was smelling throughout the club tonight to notice anything about herself. She didn't have a single blemish or hair out of place. She was hyperfocused on looking things over, and Moroha even felt that she was being mindful of aspects of herself she never would have noticed otherwise.

"Put this under your tongue!" Yura told her, flicking off one of the tabs that had an even smaller piece of paper on it. Moroha assumed that was the tab with the actual acid. "You're gonna feel it in about ten minutes! I hope you like rollercoasters because you're in for a ride!"

"Is it really that crazy?" Moroha asked, smirking at the happy face that looked up at her from the small tab of paper. It was almost like the L itself was smiling at her and beckoning her to it.

"Don't think about it too hard, Moroha-chan. You'll set yourself up for a bad trip," Yura encouraged her as she put a tab under her own tongue. "Just think of good shit!"

That was all Moroha needed to hear. Uninhibited by worries she did the same, not breaking eye contact with her friend as she did so. Yura broke out into a fit of giggles, wrapping her arm around Moroha's shoulders and bringing her close. Moroha was sensitive to the warmth of her body, the skin-on-skin contact of their arms sending a tingle throughout her.

"You're such a blast, girl! I wish we had been friends sooner. Honestly!"

"I'm glad we're friends too!"

Yura pulled away, and Moroha suddenly missed the warmth of her body. "I'm gonna get us a drink. I'm gonna surprise you. Meet me at the bar, alright?"

"Okay," Moroha replied, looking back into the mirror and examining her eyes again. "I'll be there in a minute!"

Yura made her way out of the bathroom, and Moroha continued examining herself in the mirror. As she did so, she heard another vibrating sound coming from her purse. But she was too inebriated to remember her promise to herself to keep her phone in her purse, clumsily pulling the device out of her bag to look at it. She could hardly focus on the screen now that the effects of the M were at their peak.

TAIJIYAH (22:13:51): Come on, dude.
TAIJIYAH (22:14:00): You told me you weren't hanging out with her anymore over a year ago.
TAIJIYAH (22:19:32): Moroha?
TAIJIYAH (23:41:59): …
TAIJIYAH (24:15:15): Are you alright? I don't care if you're mad at me, I'm going to keep texting you.
TAIJIYAH (24:59:01): Message me later, I'll be awake. I'm serious.
TAIJIYAH (01:59:09): I'm concerned about you.

She didn't know what it was specifically that he said that cracked her up so much, but she found herself laughing pretty hard at his messages. He sounded like an angry parent dealing with an out-of-control toddler. She made her way into a stall for some privacy in case anyone came into the washroom, but she doubted anyone would. Nearly everyone had poured back onto the dancefloor now that the party was raging and well underway.

BENIYASHA (02:02:04): lol calm down
BENIYASHA (02:02:15): i'm fine i've just been dancing
BENIYASHA (02:02:23): i'm drunk as fuck
TAIJIYAH (02:02:54): Wow. Wonderful. Good for you, Moroha.
BENIYASHA (02:03:20): lol i know
BENIYASHA (02:02:27): you don't gotta tell me
TAIJIYAH (02:02:50): … That's sarcasm, by the way.
BENIYASHA (02:03:11): lol buzzkill

Now her chest was heaving with laughter, something about his perceived annoyance with her sent her straight off into hysterics. She wondered if uncontrollable laughing was a symptom of L because if it was, she'd be doing it far more often. She felt nothing short of fantastic before, but now she was outright elated.

TAIJIYAH (02:03:30): When are you leaving the club?
BENIYASHA (02:03:58): I'll leavewv whe itsss tiam to gooo
BENIYASHA (02:04:29): iv ametgo 200 minetsaWQ
TAIJIYAH (02:04:36): … I have no idea what you just typed.
BENIYASHA (02:06:14): I;lmmb prete yil mrnigs
TAIJIYAH (02:06:20): … WHAT?
BENIYASHA (02:07:50): iw sdf yod comms prti
TAIJIYAH (02:07:54): WTF?

She felt the edges of her vision giving way to color, and she wasn't able to give a single crumb of attention or focus to the screen in front of her. It took her several moments to form a coherent sentence, and it was almost as though she had forgotten how to type. The thought of that made her break out into another fit of uncontrollable giggling. She had enough control over her coordination to unceremoniously drop her phone back into her bag but had to lean against the brick wall of the stall afterward to regain her breath and herself.

Suddenly, it was as though the overhead fluorescent lighting and the sterile colors of the bathroom were far too intense for her eyes. She drew a hand up over her brow to shield them, swinging the stall door open with a loud bang and making her way back out to the dance floor. As she opened it and stepped out she was relieved when darkness met her eyes, but the colors from the strobe lights were suddenly much more exuberant and fascinating to look at. There were long trails behind the beams as they swiveled around the ceiling. It was almost as if they were performing a special, personalized light show just for her.

Moroha suddenly snapped out of her stupor from the elbow that nudged her side. When her eyes landed back downwards they rested on Yura, who was standing in front of her holding two drinks and wearing a goofy grin of her own.

"I've been waiting for almost fifteen minutes! I was coming to check on you!"

"Sorry, just…" Moroha couldn't even finish the thought, just simply made a pointing gesture at nothing in particular while beginning to laugh again. "What the…? This is crazy!"

"Oh great, has it kicked in already?" Yura laughed along with her, and once Moroha took her own drink from her hand Yura looped her now free arm into Moroha's other one. "You're a giggler, aren't you?"

It was like the laughter was boiling water that was spilling over within her chest, and Moroha found herself laughing hysterically again at Yura's commentary as she led her away from the bathroom and over to the bar. Even things that she never would have considered to be funny were sending her off into fits, and she loved the feeling. Yura hadn't been wrong. Paired with the elation of the M and the joy brought to her by the L, Moroha was in for her best time yet. Was this what being truly happy felt like?

"Gods, I have to go to the washroom. I drank too much and it's catching up with me," Yura slid off of the tall bar seat, also feeling the effects of all the alcohol they had consumed in addition to the drugs tonight. She floundered a little once her feet hit the floor. "I need to powder up again too. Do you want to come?"

"No," Moroha said, her voice now outright slurring. She wasn't sure how long she and her friend had sat at this bar, but she knew she didn't want it to end. The L and M were still in full effect. Moroha wanted time to stop so that she would be trapped in this moment with these wonderful feelings forever. "I'll be fine for a while."

"Do you want to go back to my place soon? It's almost time for the last train."

"Hell no! I'm having fun!" Moroha told her honestly as she stumbled over her words. "If we miss the final one, I guess we'll just have to party until the first train comes!"

Yura smirked widely, turning away and walking towards the bathroom. "I like the cut of your gib, Moroha-chan. I'll be right back!"

As she sauntered off and made her way through the crowd Moroha turned back to face the bar. Everything she looked at interested her — the people sitting around her, the music, the vibe, and hell, even the bubbles in her carbonated drink that were floating up to the surface of the beverage caught her eye. It was almost as though they were buzzing electrically as they floated upwards. Had bubbles always been like that? Or was something unknown just revealing itself to her now?

Abruptly, she felt a strong grip on her upper arm and the hand that suddenly grabbed her made her physically jump in the seat. For a moment she wondered if she was hallucinating, wondered if whoever was touching her was all in her head and if they were really there at all. Roughly she was whipped around, and Moroha was so out of it that her mind barely had time to respond to what was happening. She blinked several times in an attempt to focus on what was in front of her and regain enough of herself to focus and pay attention, which was a struggle in and of itself.

Whoever it was that was standing in front of her stared at her with a stunned expression, as though they couldn't believe what they were seeing in front of their eyes and had no clue what to do about it. The look on their face made her feel incredibly self-conscious, and her mind did its best to run through a checklist of what could possibly be wrong. It didn't help that her muddled mind didn't recognize them, either. They only held her gaze for a few seconds before both of their hands flew up to her head, one cupping the side of her face while the other tried to forcefully open one of her eyes to get a better look. Her heart suddenly felt like it was about to jump out of her chest, and she did her best to push both hands away from her to no avail.

"Who are you?! Why are you touching me?!"

"Moroha…! What the fuck?!"

Even in the midst of her trip, she recognized that voice, and it felt as though her stomach dropped to the floor and everything put its heels in the sand.

"… Oyaji? Is that you?"

Yes, she was able to piece together his features now. Silver hair had been replaced with black, and those familiar golden eyes were the same color as hers. It all made sense. It was his human night.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Her questioning who he was had done nothing but alarm Inuyasha even further. It was less like he was asking for an answer and more like he was demanding it, trying to get a good look at her face even as Moroha smacked his hands away. "Have you been drinking? Did you take something else? Your eyes—"

"Oyaji, stop!" She yelled as he pulled her off of the stool and onto her feet. The commotion had caused a few people to look their way, and Moroha was hyperaware of all the eyes that were now focusing on them. The L made the realization far, far worse and a ripple of terrifying anxiety ran through her. "Just chill out—"

It was right then, as she finally caught a glance over Inuyasha's shoulder, that she saw Hisui standing there off to the side just behind him. He had a bashful look on his face, and when she looked directly at him his eyes turned to the floor. The hood of the oversized sweater he wore hung over his head, and it was almost as though he was trying to hide himself away inside of the fabric. Like he was ashamed to have to even be there.

She didn't have much time to focus on him though. Inuyasha was now pulling her along behind him, making their way through the crowd of people and out of the club. Hisui followed very closely behind. She nearly tripped and fell as she followed along behind him. Inuyasha's one arm was intertwined with hers, one of his hands firmly gripped her own the other held onto her arm. Suddenly she felt dizzy, the music was belting out of the speakers slowly, causing every noise to reverberate in her and rattle in her brain. As her chest constricted with panic, everything began moving in slow motion, or at the very least felt like it was.

"Inu-ojisan, go slower," Hisui called out from behind them. "She's having a hard time keeping up!"

Going up the stairs back to street level was an ordeal in and of itself. The steps were moving in a motion that was similar to the ocean, and Moroha wasn't sure if she was stepping on an actual surface or if it was just an illusion. Hisui had to keep both hands on her back to steady her while it felt like her father was dragging her up the stairs. As they walked out back into the city she heard her father say something to the bouncer, but she was too busy trying to regain her senses that she didn't catch what Inuyasha said to him. Parked illegally outside of the club was the old car that her father had had even when she was a small child.

"Get into the car," Inuyasha harshly commanded while opening the passenger door, "We're going home."

The bursts of elation she had been feeling just five minutes ago was now replaced with mind-numbing explosions of nothing but dread. She felt it in her chest and her stomach. Her lungs felt like they were being painfully contained within her ribcage and her stomach felt as though it was full of rocks, trying to hold her to the ground with its solid weight. His harsh words did nothing to alleviate her brewing panic.

"Oyaji, stop!" She screeched, trying to tug herself out of his grip to no avail. "You're fucking tripping me out—"

Immediately the hand that was on the door handle was on her mouth, effectively muffling her screams. His hand was trembling as he gripped her face, and he shook it a little for emphasis, to try to get her to focus on him and listen to what he was saying. "Shut up! Just fucking shut up and quit yelling! If the wrong person overhears you the damn cops will come. Is that what you want right now? Huh?"

She was certain that it was from the effects of the L, but his angry face looked even more horrifying than usual. She could tell that he was livid, and his human form did not help the state of his emotions. The additional threat of the police possibly showing up only made things worse. Her vision became blurry as she began to cry, and her features fell.

"Moroha," Hisui's voice piped up from behind her amidst her sobs, and he sounded scared but his tone was soft, as though he was trying his best to be soothing. "Get in the car. Please. I promise everything is going to be fine."

His words did nothing to feel better, and she felt how an animal must feel when they were cornered by predators and couldn't escape to save themselves. Her tears became even more intense and her nose had even begun to run, but her father either hadn't noticed or just didn't care, his hand maintaining its hold on her face. She was grateful he didn't have his claws right now.

Finally, she said with her voice muffled, "I-I need you to help … I'll need help g-getting in…!"

Hisui was quick to spring into action, moving around Inuyasha to hold her other arm. His handling of her was much more gentle, and it comforted her but only just a little. Inuyasha released her face and continued swearing out loud and under his breath while she lowered herself into the seat and got situated. Hisui even ensured she was buckled in properly before closing the passenger door. She covered her face with both of her hands and continued to loudly wail while Hisui climbed into the back and Inuyasha got into the driver's seat. He didn't start the car though, instead turning on the overhead light and grabbing her face again to get a good look.

"Oyaji!" Moroha shrieked, this time openly fighting his grip, unable to calm her own feelings of rage that were beginning to match his. "What are you even looking for?!"

"Your eyes are fucking pitch black…!" He hissed before roughly pushing her face away and slamming his other palm multiple times on the dashboard, unable to reasonably contain his anger anymore. "Why do you always do this? Why do you always screw me over? Why do you always have to fuck things up?!"

"The only one who is 'fucking things up' between us is you!"

She spat the words out like venom, and she hoped it hit him where it hurt the most. Moroha's shrill screams made Hisui recoil in the back seat, and he simply sat there and watched the scene unfold in front of him. Inuyasha said nothing else and merely turned away from his daughter. He looked out the window and shook his head, one hand was brought up to his chin while the other rested on his thigh balled into a fist. His knuckles were turning white, his fist was gripped so hard.

"I-Inu-ojisan, I think we should go," Hisui said quietly, sounding a little shaken from watching what just erupted in front of him. "I think that would be best—"

Suddenly Moroha whipped around to look at him in the rear seat, unable to help the loud, primal growl that escaped her throat. This was all his fault. If he had just kept out of her business and hadn't said anything …

"I invited you to party, and you… you ratted me out!"

"I didn't rat you out, Moroha!" Hisui contested, anger now finally slipping into his tone at her hysterical yelling and accusations. "You couldn't even type! I thought someone might have drugged your drink or something! It's not like I was wrong!"

"You were wrong! How could you do this…? I was having a good time and you ruined it—!"

She was pulled back into the seat by Inuyasha's grip on her shoulder. Her father had had enough. For a few moments he didn't say a single word, just gave her a hard look that scared her down to the core.

"Your mother knows," he told her bluntly, which sent another jolt of terror through her. " She's waiting for us. This isn't over. Now shut the hell up or I swear to the Gods, Moroha, I am going to fucking lose it…!"

The threat worked. Moroha immediately backed down. She faced the dashboard once again and covered her face with both of her hands, beginning to sob again. She curled into a ball as best as she could and leaned against the door, loudly wailing as Inuyasha started the car and turned off the overhead light. Her sobs felt like they were ripping violently through her, and her emotional state was now in the throes of a full-blown panic attack. She wasn't sure what cut her deeper — the wrath that her parents were sure to inflict on her, or Hisui going behind her back to tell them in the first place.

If Moroha had to pinpoint the exact moment when everything had officially gone to shit between her and her father, that was it. That night, in the car and once they got home, was the official low point between them.

After that, his scrutiny of her became far more intense. He wanted to know where she was, what she was doing, why she was doing it, when she would be done… 'Helicopter parenting' wasn't even the right term for it. Her mother had brushed it off as him being protective, because he cared, and had told her to let it go whenever Moroha tried to vent. But it was smothering. Moroha had resented Inuyasha more than she ever had in her entire life, because of it. She kept pushing and pushing against it… until it had all ended up being for naught.

Right up until her incarceration just a few months after that, she blamed Hisui for it. She blamed him for the way her father had treated her. From that night forward she had pushed Hisui away, told him they were no longer friends, avoided him at every turn. He had spoken to her one-on-one once after that — the conversation she had reread earlier, the one that had finally prompted her to speak to Hisui again tonight — but Moroha made sure that had been the last time. All other communications with him had come to a standstill unless she was being forced to be cordial when their parents got together occasionally on Saturdays.

She had missed this. Just playing games, joking around, having fun, and talking about their problems if need be. It wasn't the fake, synthetic kind of relationship she had with all those other people who sat around doing nothing at the arcade. One that was based on how many drugs so-and-so had on them, if so-and-so could afford to buy more for everyone, and the wild trips they had. What she and Hisui had was real comradeship. Even in the worst of times, even when it had hurt her feelings to the very core… Hisui had been her friend.

"… It's okay, Moroha," Hisui finally replied, and she felt a slight burning sensation behind her eyes at hearing him accept her apology. "I'm just really happy that we're talking again."

"I am really happy too," Moroha admitted wholeheartedly, warmed by the feeling of relief that flooded her being. She wished that they were there together in person so that she could hug him.

"Well… It's getting late," he stated, and Moroha glanced down at the clock. It was nearly one o'clock in the morning now. "I have to be at work tomorrow. Unfortunately, we don't get Golden Week off. We just get busier!"

She chuckled at that, but before he said his goodbyes Moroha interjected, "Hisui, before you go, I want you to promise me something."

"Sure, what is it?"

"Don't… Don't say anything to your parents, or my parents, about me getting out," she stated firmly, taking in a sharp breath before continuing. "The situation is… delicate, to say the least. My aunt and uncle didn't say anything because I begged them not to. I want to take this at my own pace, I need to approach this my way. And I really, really don't think it will go down well if they find out."

There was a contemplative pause before Hisui replied, "Of course I won't say anything Moroha. If you don't want me to say anything, I won't."

Moroha let out the breath she was holding, feeling better as a result of his reassurance. She was about to wish him farewell and head off to get ready for bed herself, but he cut her off just before she was about to do so.

"But Moroha, I have to say, I think you are blowing this out of the water a little. I don't think Inu-ojisan will be angry with you. I don't think your mother would be either. They both miss you. They miss you like crazy. I think they would be relieved… I know that probably won't sway your opinion, and I want you to take everything at your own pace, but… I don't know. I just thought I should tell you that."

That comment surprised her, and down to her very core, she felt that he was wrong. Things had hit rock bottom between her and her parents. Her father hadn't come to visit her once, and her relationship with her mother was incredibly strained. Would they really be happy to hear she had been released? Would they even be excited to see her? Moroha doubted it. But, Hisui had certainly given her something to think about.

"I appreciate that, Hisui… But I still think I am going to do it on my own time. Now… isn't it."

"Okay, Moroha. I swear, I won't say anything. You can trust me. I mean that."

"Good, I'll hold you to that."

He let out a lighthearted laugh before finally saying, "See you later. We'll talk again soon."

"For sure… Have a good one at work tomorrow. Bye-bye, Hisui."

"Bye for now."

The video call finally ended, and once Moroha closed the application she flung the headset off of her ears and massaged her temples. There was no amount of prepping or planning that would prepare her for these kinds of conversations, especially with the people she had hurt. Not everything was going to be as she envisioned it. But after talking to her dearest lifelong friend… she at least had the sense she was, finally, on the up-and-up.

At that moment, her stomach began to loudly growl, and she chided herself for not getting food back when Hisui had gotten up to make tonkatsu. She stood up from where she laid on her futon, stretching her arms as high as she could towards the ceiling. She had nowhere to be tomorrow, no obligations to fulfill, outside of playing games with Towa as she promised. Moroha was in one of the best moods she had been in since leaving prison. She idly made her way towards the kitchen, knowing exactly what she was going to cook up for herself. The only thing that could end this night on a better note was pancakes. As she idly browsed through the cupboards, she pictured Hisui's face and replayed their conversation over and over in her head.

If she had any say in it, things were going to change for the better. She couldn't let him down, or anyone else who believed in her. And even though the past was difficult, she knew deep down that, at the very least, it was possible to begin again.

WOWZA! 26K! I believe this chapter, and possibly the next one, are the longest chapters I am going to write. In the chapters that follow I (should) be able to contain myself. This one is very dialogue-heavy, there was a lot to fit in here, and depending on feedback I may slice it up into two chapters to make it easier to read and digest. I promise in the next chapter we will be getting back to the prison setting.

I've decided that I am going to be deleting my author's notes as soon as I post a new chapter just so then I don't shit up the experience and disrupt the flow of the story for those who want to download it as a PDF from AO3 and read it that way. I never feel like I have much to say anyway.

I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I am sorry for the long wait. School really does suck the life, and time, out of me!